#sorry i don't have fancy graphics this is the best i can do for now

[sugurizz]

(SMUT/NSFW +18 - minors DNI !)

𝐅𝐞𝐚𝐭.: Joo Jaekyung x f! reader - 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝟏 , 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝟑

𝐒𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: world champion Team Black's Joo Jaekyung is the hottest sensation in the MMA universe. His name is not only feared and respected on the streets, but desired in the sheets. Little did physiotherapist Y/n know, she was about to learn it the hard way.

𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬 / 𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: dark content ahead! explicit content, dubcon, graphic content, dom/sub dynamics, power dynamics, degradation, nicknames (Doc, slut, whore, etc...)

𝐰.𝐜: 1,1k.

𝐉𝐎𝐎 𝐉𝐀𝐄𝐊𝐘𝐔𝐍𝐆 − 𝐌𝐢𝐧𝐢 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓

And who's this now? What is she doing here?'

'Please welcome y/n. She'd be our substitute physical therapist for now. hope you guys would get along.' Responded team coach Park Namwook as he gently gave your shoulder a pat.

'You keep bringing these goons around! And none of them seems to get the job done right!' He harshly dismissed your presence, looking at the coach, then scoffed as he walked back into the sparring room.

'You'll have to deal with him after the sparring matches. He's quite the hardass at times, but I know I can rely on you.'

The coach gave you a rather awkward smile, brushing off the rude welcoming you suddenly received.

-----

You stepped into the therapy room and hanged your backpack, just as he came in, skin gleaming with sweat and pitch black strands messy. His eyes accidentally met yours as he layed down on the chair.

'I'm taking the shirt off. It's drenched in sweat.'

Your heart sunk. You turned around to see his large torso on full display. He clearly did it for an understandable reason, but your brain went blank and your fingertips froze for a split second, until a deep voice shook you out of it..

'Last week's treatment sucked. The last substitute coach brought here was so incompetent. My muscles remained tense anyway. And the cramps in my left shoulder got even worse.'

'I understand, sir. I'll work on a different treatment routine. I'm sorry for your last week's inconvenience.'

You somehow fancied remaining professional at that moment. Despite his clear attitude, you knew your job as physiotherapist was to provide the team members with effective remedies in the first place.

He shrugs and looks away, closing his eyes in annoyance as he muttered,

'And better make it quick. I don't have all night ahead.'

You nodded as you approached his frame. Took a deep breath as your palms landed on his skin. It was a mix of heat and cold, a marble-like texture that you didn't expect a UFC fighter -notably the best of the best- to have.

the session went rather smoothly, no words were spoken. but at least you could tell the silence was a rather relieving sign.

'S-Sir...c-could you point to me the spot where your shoulder feels most painful, please?'

He placed his hand on the back of his shoulder, eyes still closed. And you complied as you started massaging it. His features flinched for a while, and your heart skipped a beat as you slowly neared the end of the session.

'I'll have to say that your shoulder might need a few more sessions, sir. It seems that the tendons on your upper left arm are the reason you're struggling with pain in your shoulder.'

'I'm not spending any extra time on nonsense! You figure out how to heal it. And you'll do it during the normal sessions.'

He glanced at you sternly as he stood up and straightened himself. Not acknowleging you a second further...

-----

The next day's session was just about to start, an unspoken tension grew inside your chest. The uncertainty of what could happen every time your hands stroked against his rock hard abs, toned arms, and god-like v lined pelvis had your face heating up.

He walked in as usual. you greeted him with a pale smile and performed your service as good as you could...

...'Hey, do you work extra hours? I'll pay you.'

He opened a half-lidded eye, voice deeper than you recognized.

you turned around, puzzled ..

'I...can do that. It would buy me some extra time to focus on your upper arm's tendons.'

'Good. I'm only open for extra sessions in my apartment, though.'

'B-but sir! I'm not sure if I can commute to your place at such a late hour...' You jolted immediately, almost panicking at the sudden request.

'I can tell you're not good with directions. Meet me at the entrance in 15 minutes. I'm driving there anyway.'

He muttered nonchalently as he got up and left the room, leaving you standing up there, mind foggy and racing trying to process what just happened...

...the ride home was silent. The flashing lights of the city were the only way you could ignore the heavy weight upon your heart. You got off as you arrived and made your way behind him to the apartment.

'There. You can place your stuff anywhere. And follow me quick.'

He laid down on a king-sized bed, eyeing you up and down as you set foot into the room.

'I'll make it short and quick.

I fuck before matches. For a reasonable price. Choice is yours.'

You somehow managed to stay cool and collected, but the silence that followed crushed your soul. He was still waiting for your response. Not that you were aware of his fiery eyes almost piercing a burning hole through your chest.

'W-why?...sir..' a broken protest left your throat. But he seemed so unfazed by it all.

'If it's a no you can leave now. No more words needed.'

He looked away, turning around to face the huge bay window, shining through the city lights. you felt unjustifiably intoxicated. was it his huge frame? the unforgettable scent of his room? or just the nasty desire that you kept suppressing since your eyes met his dark ones? You didn't know for sure. But the way he felt like he could crush you evertime he randomly stood next to you had you picturing all kinds of the filthiest things he could do to you...

...

'W-what would it be.... if I...agreed, s-sir?...'

'Oh. playing sly are we?'

He walked up to you with a mishievious grin on his face, then leaned down enough for his lips to meet your ears.

'If you agree, you get fucked to my heart's content. No playing around. No lovey-dovey shit.'

The brutal tone was supposed to distaste you, but for whatever messed up reason made you feel the throb straight down your womb, and between your legs.

'So?'

You snapped out. His warm breath was still ghosting over your neck, just enough to tease your senses, without ever touching you.

You looked into his eyes like a frightened deer, tho your fear merged with the heat in your belly.

'N-No one...can hear about this! sir'

'Not that anyone else can see me balls deep in you, can they?'

He raised an eyebrow, shit-eating grin still over his lips as his monster-like frame invaded your space. Your brain shut down, heart hammering as you looked back into his eyes...

𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝟑?...

𝐑𝐞𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐠 𝐢𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐚 𝐒𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐒.

#jinx #joo jaekyung #jaekyung x reader #joo jaekyung x reader #jinx manhwa #jjk smut #jjk x you #jjk imagines #jjk x reader #toji fushiguro x reader #toji x reader #toji fushiguro #toji smut #toji x y/n #toji x you

[pluralgraphics]

Can you give some examples of your graphics/what we can request? :0

HELLO!! oh my gosh yes of course you can! Now, all of these are, like. Mocked up. Fast. Because some silly little fellow (mee :3) didn't think to make any samples before he started his blog. And that was a bad idea. Don't do this at home. Be prepared.

So essentially, you can request flat-out anything, and I'll take a stab at it. I'm sure there's graphics and detailing and stuff that I forgot about the existence of in making these examples, so if what you're looking for is not shown below dw about it!! I'll still try my best, cross my heart and all that

BANNERS (in a variety of themes, and colours, and so forth. this was just the greatest representation of the range I could manage in a short amount of time lol)

perfect for simplyplural headers, pluralkit bios, use on tumblr blogs, centerpieces on carrds- comes with text, no text, whatever you want. banners. whoo yeah let's hear it for banners!!

next up. dividers.

for the sectioning of text and of keeping everything neat. you know what a divider is, i'm sure. sorry. preaching to the choir here.

again, comes with text, no text, a set of all the same, a set of however many different- but-similar ones you want, in any colour that you want! you can even have them in a range of colours if you're feeling real fancy

ICONSyes that is the guy from casablanca. don't judge me 🙄

any image you want or need (they don't HAVE to be of a person look here's some cool aesthetic icons of not-people)

now. i know what i provide is a lot like those cool simplyplural layout people except without the er. simplyplural layout. and if you're looking for one of those then of COURSE i gotta direct you to my good comrade-in-arms @yoursimplypluralhandbook and their awesome designs 👍 but yeah in order to spice up my offer i am extending my range to

which i am happily throwing into the mix x) ooo you want a blinkie so bad oooo yeah you doo

ahem. anyway. sales pitch officially over. i hope this helped!!

#endo safe #plural graphics #PAGAHAG can you tell ive never done one of these before? 🙏 so you uh. you gotta cut me a lil slack here man /silly

[reveluving]

sweet spot ; andy barber x reader

summary: Andy learns more about you through your connection with the Wilson’s.

warnings: fluff (slow burn)

a/n: hi this series is still alive, I just have issues like time, writer’s block & laziness,,, not proofread too so my apologies for any mistakes!

˚ · . series m.list

˚ · . gorgeous rose divider by the amazing @firefly-graphics​

‘anyone would pay for these treats any day. no, he was not saying that because of his own feelings,’ ;  

It's been two months since you last spoke to Andy and you don't know if you should be glad or disappointed. Glad, because you're able to suppress your feelings (and inappropriate thoughts) for the man but disappointed, because seems like 'next time' progressively seemed more like an empty promise.

Sure, you were able to bid him goodbye or at the very least, the smallest talk whenever he was free enough to pick Jacob up from school. Worst of all, you could feel his gaze whenever you walked away, and on more than one occasion, too! As weeks become months, though, you thought you were too hopeful for your own good.

Until now.

Saturday rolled around and Andy had just dropped Jacob off at the Wilson's. Thankfully, Sam was able to talk it out with Andy.

'Relax man, I'll keep a close eye on them. You, on the other hand, should go check out the area. Feel free to stop by Sarah's bakery, it's not usually busy at this time,'

Thus, that's where he's heading to. The drive didn't take long, though Andy did take his time mapping any area that he hasn't covered before. A couple of retail stores, including a Japanese convenience store that he thought Jacob might like to check out.

Not long after his little survey around town, he finally reached the Wilson's family business.

'Home of the best Louisiana-style sweets in town!'

Tempting.

He took a look at the interior from the window, silently approving the homey decor and mouth-watering pastries in the display counter. Sam wasn’t lying when he mentioned the lack of traffic before lunchtime. In fact, it was deserted. If it wasn’t for the ‘open’ sign hanging on the door, he would’ve turned back. He could only hope this wasn’t a prank of Sam’s before making his way in, prompting a soft 'ding' from the entrance.

"I'll be with you in a minute!" Sarah called from the kitchen, unaware of the man her best friend’s been gushing about since you first met him. He didn’t think much of it, opting to take a closer look at the treats before him until he heard a familiar voice at the other end of the room.

“Y’know, the least you can do is help me with these cookies,”

“Don’t be such a baby, you can handle two little trays,” Sarah snorted before exiting the kitchen, smiling at the newcomer, “Hey there! Sorry 'bout that. Kinda short of hands today but I’m so glad it’s not peak hours,” She sighed before clasping her hands, “Now, what can I do for you?" She squinted her eyes, "Though, excuse me for my boldness but I don’t think I’ve seen you before,”

“Well, I guess you could say I'm a first-timer,” He smiled politely, “Your brother told me you make good coffee here,”

“Oh!” Sarah snapped her fingers, “Barber, right? Sam's told me all about you,” She paused, realizing the situation, "Well, not just Sam," She ignored the questioning look on his face with a cheeky smile, "You’ve come to the right place. Anything caught your eye?”

Andy eyed the list of best-selling drinks on the menu board behind her, “I'd like a cappuccino, please,"

“A cup of 'ccino and… any sweets?” He pondered for a second.

“Mind giving me some recommendations?”

“Not at all!” She moved away from the cashier and pointed at some of the displays, “Today’s pies are pecan and cherry. Or if you’re feeling a little fancy, we have pralines to go with your drink,” She cocked her head to the empty spot labelled ‘chocolate chip cookies’, “There’s the classic, too but we’ve only finished baking it. Speaking of,” She turned her attention to the kitchen door, prompting her new customer to do the same, “How’re the cookies back there?”

“I’m coming, I’m coming,” You groaned, leaning against the door to open it while holding a tray of fresh cookies in both hands, “Just give me a-"

It was amazing how you didn’t drop the tray at the sight of Andy standing in front of the counter. You didn’t even have to look at Sarah to know she was enjoying this moment. She was literally the first person you told after your first encounter with him at the gym, thinking she was the best candidate to hear it all. Only to have the colour drained from your face when she came to you, saying that Andy's a new colleague of Sam's.

“Andy!” You suddenly felt underdressed — a white cami dress. Perfect for the afternoon but now? You wished you brought that one cardigan with you, "Uh, fancy seeing you here!"

"I could say the same about you," He looked down at the floor, hiding the lil' smile on his face, "Colour me surprised, though. You're not in your tracksuit,"

Sarah stifled a laugh — she could see you rolling your eyes without even having to look at you. Sam would always act surprised whenever he'd bump into you outside the school premise in anything but a sportswear.

"Ha-ha, no wonder you and Sam are officemates," You arranged the cookies orderly, not having the guts to look him in the eye, "I have other clothes too, y'know?"

"Thankfully," You gawked at your friend's jab at your fashion sense. She leaned over the counter to 'whisper' to Andy, "I'd be worried if that one white tracksuit was the only thing she owned,"

You pouted, feeling betrayed that your best friend and your 'crush' were making fun of you. Andy found it amusing how you mouthed a 'fuck you' at Sarah, who seemed unfazed but rather entertained to see you bashful in front of the man you've been gushing about.

"You two know each other?" Andy asked, pointing between you and Sarah.

"She's teaching my boys," Ah, makes sense, "She teaching your kid, too?"

"Jacob," He nodded, "Same class, right?" You wordlessly nodded when he turned to you for confirmation, "Small world,"

"Well, Reve Road is a small neighbourhood," You chuckled, remembering each and every time you'd bump into a student or their parents around here, "If you know the Wilson's, there's a high chance you'll know this café,"

"And if your kid goes to Reve High, there's a high chance you'll know Ms (L/N) here," You narrowed your eyes when Sarah butted in, and smoothly, at that.

You've never seen her like this before.

Did she have an ulterior motive?

Who knows?

"Now," She straightened up, "You two can catch up and whatnot but first," She pointed at the freshly baked cookies, "Is that a yes?"

Well, you made it, didn't you?

"Two, please,"

"There you are," Sarah's sudden appearance jolted you out of your thoughts. You took the chance to flee to the storeroom with the excuse of 'the espresso machine's running low' when Andy began paying up for his order. Now, you're just hiding in here till who knows when, "Why’re you hiding in here?"

"You know exactly why,"

"You're right, I'm sorry," Her smugness told you she was anything but, "I can't help myself! I've never seen this side of you,"

"And that is?"

Did you really want to know the answer?

"Well," She drawled and acted like she was thinking, "Like a schoolgirl?"

She turned around, ignoring the deadly glare by taking a bag of coffee beans before throwing it at you.

"Here," You swiftly caught the bag, shooting her a confused look, "You did say the machine's running low on beans, and you were right. Sooo… have fun!" She ran out of the room before you could even have a say in it. You gave up — even if you stopped her, she had other things to do whereas you were pretty much done.

Except for Andy's coffee, that is.

You tried not to tear the bag in your hands from your crumpling habit, taking the last few seconds you have to pull yourself together before brisk walking back to the counter.

But, all that pep talk became useless when the first thing you were greeted with was Andy himself. He wasn't far from the counter, meaning his seating was the closest to the espresso machine.

Great!

You thought in utter horror.

"Everything okay back there?" His eyes darted between your face and the bag of coffee beans.

"Mhm!" You could only pray you wouldn't make a fool out of yourself by forgetting how to make a simple cup, "Had a tough time looking for these in the storeroom,"

Andy watched how you skillfully worked the machine, topping it all off with the serene atmosphere despite being the only customer at the moment.

"Seems like you and the Wilson's go back a long way," He piped up but his eyes were still focused on the extracting process.

"You're not wrong," You reminisced, "I used to work as the barista here, for a few months before getting an offer to teach in school. That was like, what, two years ago? Now, I'm just helping out whenever I have the chance," You shook your head slowly, "Man, time flies real fast when you're having fun,"

Andy hid the melancholy in his heart by chuckling with you. He wished he could say the same about himself for the past two years. Everything went fast for him, too, but not in a good way.

At all.

"What about you?" His eyes met yours, like, really met, finding an unexplainable comfort in your concerns, "How are you finding the neighbourhood?"

"Pretty good," More than good, actually, "Peaceful, lots of stores nearby, nice neighbours too. I'm just glad Jake's doing well so far," Silence took over, other than the constant drips from the machine, "He… is doing okay, right?"

"Of course," You didn't hesitate — partially to lessen his sudden worry but you weren't kidding about Jacob. Quiet, sure, but a fast learner, in both his classes and his managing role, "I'd say he's catching up real quick, considering how he's never learned our syllabus before. But, he's a little more open with the basketball team,"

"How so?" He patiently waited, seeing that you’ve finished preparing his cappuccino and straightened up in his seat when you're coming over to serve it.

"His friends. Other than AJ, I see that he's really close to the Maximoff twins. Good boys," You carefully placed his cup next to the basket of cookies, "So, I'd say he's doing more than okay,"

"That's good," You gave yourself a pat on the back for successfully reassuring him without needing to lie.

But, you took the risk of asking the next question.

"Things didn't go too well at your old place?" You could only hope you weren't overstepping any boundaries.

"You could say that," He replied curtly and though he didn't seem apprehensive, you didn't want to push your luck. He seemed like a man who didn't take snoopiness too lightly, either.

At least you knew your assumptions were right.

"Well, whatever the reasons are, I'm glad you two are doing well now," You didn't have to elaborate, not when Andy himself found it endearing to hear it from you.

"I'm glad too," You caught him whispering under his breath. Fearing for the awkwardness that could kick in anytime soon, you motioned to the cookies in front of him.

"Are the cookies good?" He appreciated your efforts to keep the conversation going and nodded.

"Very," He finished the half-eaten cookie, leaving him with just one, "My compliments to the chef,"

"Ah, well, you know the Wilson's," He could tell you were hiding something, only for both of you to jump at the voice behind you.

"Her recipe, by the way," Sarah's head was peeking out of the kitchen door just to place a tray of pralines on a random spot before disappearing yet again.

"This is your recipe?" He questioned you, funnily enough, through a mouthful. Andy shouldn't have been surprised after hearing your little history with the business' family, and yet he was.

"Yeah…" You twiddle your thumbs, feeling small under his interest, "Call it a contribution?" In reality, those cookies were one of the store's bestsellers but you never liked taking all the credit. Humble, is where it's at, after all.

"They're really good," He repeated. Other than trying to woo you, they were actually to his liking. Not too sweet, crispy on the outside and gooey on the inside, "I might buy some for the boys later,"

"I mean, you don't have to pay, y'know? Since it's Sarah's own sons, plus yours," You tilted your head.

"Call it a contribution," He repeated your words, plus, anyone would pay for these treats any day.

No, he was not saying that because of his own feelings.

The next hour went smoothly, with you suggesting to him the best restaurants in town and which neighbour to watch out for. Sarah, too, joined in from time to time, thankfully without trying to put you in the spotlight anymore.

Unbeknownst to you, it was because she had pretty much succeeded in the job.

Soon, the café was getting busier as lunch hour was rolling around. Families, especially, and not wanting to overwhelm you with entertaining both him and the customers, plus, Jacob's message that he and AJ had completed their work, he decided to take his leave.

"Thank you for the coffee, and the cookies, of course," He thanked you as soon as you were free from an order, "I'll see you around?"

No phone numbers. Not appropriate.

Or just not yet.

"You know where to find me," You smiled softly before rushing off to the storeroom for more sugar. Begrudgingly.

Man, he hated to see you go but loved to watch you leave.

Especially in that dress.

Seeing how Sarah was standing behind the register without any customers, Andy swooped in to purchase the cookies.

But, he didn't have the time to say a word when Sarah slid him a filled-up paper bag.

"Our treat," She raised her hand, knowing he was going to protest, "Ah-ah! It's free of charge and that's that. There's a separate bag in there for you and Jacob," With that, she left him with his thoughts and cookies to attend to the customer by the display counter.

Andy accepted the gift hesitantly, mentally thanking both you and Sarah before exiting the café and off to the Wilson's.

He couldn't help but smile throughout the drive, finding whatever that happened for the past couple of hours very… enjoyable? He learned a lot about you but at the same time, more questions began popping up and no doubt if whatever you and him had continued, you'd be learning about him too.

It was only a matter of time, is all.

˚ · . f i n . · ˚

˚ · . taglist: @wanniiieeee @whiskeytangofoxtrot555 @0mrs-evans0 @sophiaedits @innerblizzardbird @knifevsstageprop @marvelmenwhore @nasawho @tastingcevans @liecastillo

#— reve's reverie 🌹 #andy barber x reader #andy barber x you #andy barber x female reader #andy barber #andy barber fluff #andy barber fanfiction #defending jacob #jacob barber #chris evans #chris evans fluff #chris evans x reader #chris evans x you #future mrs barber series

[silentspacenstuff]

Silent's 2024 Commission Prices (Open)

VERY IMPORTANT! Please check my art status on my page and read the following before asking me for anything.

(1) Art trades are accepted on an as-I-feel basis.

(2) When doing an art trade, I expect you to put some effort into your half. I don't expect anything fancy; just try your best, but no stick figures, scribbles, sloppy base edits or anything else lacking in effort.

(3) Please DO NOT pester me to hurry up and finish your trade/commission! I will finish it as soon as I can, but in my own sweet time.

(4) Please DO NOT send the payment until I give you the go-ahead to do so and provide you with a payment link via private messaging!

(5) I reserve the right to cancel a commission; if I do, I promise you will get a refund.

(6) I accept payment through GooglePay; just FYI, prices are in US dollars. I do not accept Paypal or money by mail payments; sorry.

(7) When providing a reference of the character you want me to draw, please do not provide an NSFW (not safe for work) reference.

(8) Please DO NOT re-post your commission on deviantArt or elsewhere without my permission and crediting me.

(9) ABSOLUTELY NO selling your commision as an NFT!

(10) Yes, you may ask me for the following:

- Anthro or feral animals

- Humans

- Aliens

- Fantasy creatures (i.e. fairies, elves, trolls)

- Simplified vehicles, machinery, or robots

- Fan characters and original characters

- Canon character X canon character romance

- Original character X original character romance

- Canon character X original character romance

- Crossovers (that don't include fandoms in the "do not ask for" section)

- Closed or open species

(11) Please DO NOT ask me for the following:

- Anything graphically violent, gory, or sex-related

- Graphic nudity (with private parts clearly showing)

- Gay or lesbian romance

- Polyamory

- Drag queens

- Bondage gear

- Vore

- Gross fetish stuff (i.e. scat, watersports, farting)

- Incest

- Bestiality

- Pedophilia

- Overly detailed vehicles, machinery, or robots

- Hate art of any kind

- Real-life celebrities or political figures, living or dead

- Political stuff (i.e. Black Lives Matter, Free Palestine)

- LGBTQ+ flags, banners, etc.

- Anything attacking or mocking religion (includes Judaism, Christianity, Islam, Buddhism, Hinduism, Wicca, etc.)

- Anything for the following fandoms:

*Panty And Stocking With Garterbelt

*She-Zow

*She-Ra and the Princesses Of Power

*The Owl House

*The Loud House

*Hazbin Hotel or Helluva Boss

*Proud Family: Louder And Prouder

*Yu-Gi-Oh

*Sausage Party

*Big Mouth (absolutely not!)

*Family Guy

*Most Adult Swim shows

*Most anime or manga (depends)

*South Park

*The Binding Of Isaac

Now, on to the prices and examples of my current offers!

Flat color headshot or bust: $5 ($2 per extra character)

Example:

Flat color full body: $10 ($5 per extra character)

Example:

Shaded headshot or bust: $15 ($7 per extra character)

Example:

Shaded full body: $20 ($10 per extra character)

Example:

Extras:

No or single-color background: Free

Example:

Simple background: $5

Example:

Partial background: $10

Example:

Full background: $15

Example:

Single-colored line art: Free

Example:

Multi-colored line art: $2

Example:

Character reference sheet (includes character, color palette, and extra details of your choice i.e. headshot, accessories): $15

Example:

Doodle page (three or four flat-colored doodles of one or two characters each and one shaded doodle of one character): $12

Example:

Double-doodle page (six to eight flat-colored doodles of up to three characters each and two shaded doodles of one character each): $16

No example yet

If you have something in mind that is not listed here, DM me and we can negotiate.

#commission #commission prices #commission advertising

[lostloves]

*pops out of nowhere* so... hi? it's kayle. i'm not sure if anyone here remembers me. i mean, it's been what? two years? that doesn't seem like much, but a lot's changed since then. two years ago, i was planning to study art and design, but like everyone else, i got stuck in a proverbial limbo of waiting. the pandemic essentially rendered everything on hold — my graduation, my post-grad trip with friends, and eventually my long-awaited plans to move to another country for uni. that period of waiting, i spent here in the company of lovely internet friends who were so kind to me. they made my day every time i logged in (hi ami @aimlocked, lett @sunmayshine [what a cute user btw], a bunch of other people who i can't seem to find the usernames of). i also had so much fun editing gifs and graphics, even doing a little bit of theme coding every now and then (do people still do that here? is that still a thing?)

anyway, when it was clear to me that i was waiting for nothing and that none of what i had planned for so long was going to work out the way i hoped they would, i just felt so defeated that i shut down. what i thought was a two week break from social media ended up being two years. i wasn't active in anything. a few months back, i revived my goodreads to track the books i'm reading but that's about it. i just wasn't in the best headspace. eventually, going online slipped my mind. i even forgot the password at some point.

so yeah, that was two years ago. now, i'm currently in my old uni studying language, almost always buried deep in paperwork. i never would've imagined this is where i'd be, but like i said, a lot's changed. and it looks like a lot's changed with tumblr too because wow i barely recognize all these new fancy features.

i don't know if i'll post here on a regular basis. i don't edit stuff anymore. although i can try? i kinda miss editing stuff for fandoms instead of research presentations 💀 though i'm not sure if i have the time to do graphics or gifs like i used to. if i'm not reading journal articles, i'm usually writing papers about them. finals is just two weeks away too, and i'm pretty sure that's going to take up my already close-to-nonexistent vacant time. but who knows? now that i finally figured out the password, i might as well just lurk here again hahaha.

this ended up being longer (and so much more sentimental?) than i thought it would lol sorry for that. it was supposed to be just a "hi hello i'm back! if you remember me, here's what i've been up to. and if you don't, pls keep scrolling and save me from embarrassment!" post. but if you've read this far, thanks for being a cool and lovely human on the internet.

#also this new post editor is wild #and it seems i forgot the tags i use too #i feel like a boomer discovering the internet for the first time #on that note #i might go and play around with this new tumblr #and edit my theme while we're at it #i love those pastel colors but wow #my eyes can't take that level of pale anymore #that's all #thanks for coming to my ted talk #kayle.txt

[fishylife]

Happy Chinese New Year/Lunar New Year folks :3 Happy year of the OX!

新年快樂 Happy New Year

身體健康 Wishing you the best in health

出入平安 Wishing you peace and wellness when you come and go

萬事如意 Hoping everything goes according to your wishes

#thinking out loud #a couple of old coworkers texted me some cny greetings and i was like oh this was unexpected but still pleasant #sorry i don't have fancy graphics this is the best i can do for now #i was feeling sick bc of something i ate but i'm feeling better now #and i just wanna chill even though it's a work day lmao #sorry tmi #also lol @ all the chinese ppl at my office working from home or straight up taking the day off #at least all the chinese celebs have cute photoshoots with their outfits from the gala lol #not necessarily the most fashionable but they're cute bc they're all red :P #yixing wore a LACE SHIRT but it was mostly concealed under his bright red sparkly blazer v.v #nini had a cute outfit too but her red dress was mostly covered by her white coat lol #all the cny is queued up though so i guess you'll see it like next week or smthg XD #it might be in time for 人日 XD #or the seventh day of the first lunar month which is 'everyone's birthday' haha

[msmarvelouswinchester]

Lost Years

Summary - After spending five years in LA, Dean comes back to Lawrence and meets up with his bestfriend or rather his then bestfriend. Y/N isn't exactly happy on seeing Dean either. Will he be able to fix his strained relationship with her?

Pairing - Rockstar!Dean Winchester x Y/N

Warning - Cheesy fluff, angst, mentions of unrequited love, mentions of divorce, parents separation, drinking, bad dates, kissing, unprotected sex 18+ (wrap it before you tap it), p in v smut, oral sex (fem receiving), sex in the Impala.

WC - 5.3k+ (....oops)

Square filled - Angst ( @girl-next-door-writes ) and “Why the fuck would you laugh at that?” ( @anyfandomgoesbingo )

A/N - This is my submission to @downanddirtydean's 500 followers writing challenge (Congratulations again, Lyd). Prompt is in bold.

This is an AU. Flashbacks are in Italics.

Beta'd by @miss-nerd95 (Thank you so much, hon) and thank you to @whatareyousearchingfordean for giving this a read and leaving some valuable comments❤️

Dividers by @firefly-graphics

“Fuckin’ brilliant!” A weary exclamation left the woman's mouth as she read the text displayed on the device's screen in her hand.

There was a very significant reason why she didn't believe in blind dates, but Jo had been stubborn and insistent. And with Valentine's Day approaching, Y/N didn't want to spend the day in her pjs, crying over The Notebook again. So she had agreed to give a chance to Jo’s friend, or to be more precise, her friend's cousin. His name was Gabriel, and from what she had heard from her mutual friend circle, he seemed to be a decent guy.

But now all she wanted was to go back in time and change her decision to give into Jo’s request, because looking at the empty chair in front of her, she regretted allowing her friend to even try to interfere in her love life.

She signaled the waiter to bring over her check after downing the entire glass of wine. The restaurant was quite busy tonight. It was packed with people on this fine Saturday evening - from lovestruck couples to families with crying kids, Y/N found herself feeling quite lonely as she had stupidly waited on her date to show up for such a long time. Heat crept up her neck in embarrassment when the waiter showed up, the latter’s eyes filled with sympathy as Y/N paid the price of her drink.

Within no time, she was out of the restaurant.

Glancing down at her green dress, she swore under her breath. She tried to book a cab to return to the comfort of her home when her eyes caught the glowing signboard of The Roadhouse right around the corner of the street. The only thing she could think of was to get black-out drunk now. Y/N, still in her high heels, trudged down the path to Ellen’s bar.

Dressed up all for nothing. Rolling her eyes at herself, she went inside the establishment, heading straight towards the counter and taking a seat there. Like any other weekend nights, the place was stuffed. Y/N let her eyes trail over the many patrons of the dingy bar, landing finally on the middle-aged brunette who ran the place

“Ellen!” She called out to the woman.

“Hey, honey,” she approached Y/N, all the while glaring daggers at the drunk she had just previously been arguing with, “A bit overdressed for this place, don't ya think?”

“Your daughter is officially fired from matchmaking services,” Y/N sighed.

“Boy troubles, huh? What can I get ya, hon?” Sympathy was evident in Ellen’s eyes as she spoke. Y/N was as much of a daughter to her as Jo was. The girl had been through so much heartbreak, all Ellen wanted was to see a smile on her face.

“The usual,” Y/N gave a sad smile.

“Rough night indeed, huh?” She raised an eyebrow. The woman in question shrugged defeatedly. Ellen patted her arm in comfort before she left her to arrange for her drink, leaving Y/N to wallow in self-pity.

She thought back to when her life had taken such a traumatic turn. All her friends were either getting engaged, married, or popping out kids. But not Y/n... she was in her late twenties now, and she couldn't even find herself an eligible man.

Ellen pushed the glass towards her. Sighing, she picked it up as she admired the liquid in it. She drank slowly, every sip creating a burning sensation at the back of her throat. Fingers still wrapped around the glassware, she set it down, looking around the bar. The place was filled with mad chatters and howling laughs along with the music blasting from the stereo placed on the deck inside the room, a stark contrast to how lonely she felt. She signaled Ellen for another round, who nodded before giving her that sad understanding smile Y/N was now starting to hate. Frowning, she dropped her head and exhaled.

“Sweetheart, where did that pretty smile for yours go?” Y/N was quickly pulled out from her daze by a very familiar voice; a voice she hadn't heard in a few years. It couldn't be him, he was supposed to be in LA!

“Ella?” The term of endearment brought back dozens of memories, some good and some bad, but all were about him - the freckled face teenage boy with dirty blonde hair and eyes as green as the forest in the summertime she had once fallen for. It brought up the painful memory of their first meet which she had tried to forget so hard.

She remembered the day of their first drama practice when Dean had grudgingly walked into the room. He had reluctantly agreed to play the Prince in the Cinderella act after Cas who was supposed to be the Prince had accidentally ended up with a broken leg. He didn’t know her name, so he had called her ‘Ella’ to get her attention which was the start of their epic friendship.

Y/N didn't dare to turn around to look at him, after all, he wasn't the scrawny teenager from Lawrence anymore. He was now the lead singer and guitarist of a popular rock band with a fancy name and songs that were in the top ten of Billboard music charts. Yes, she did keep up with his rising fame, sometimes even listening to one of his songs before she was once again reminded of the heartbreak he had caused.

“You can't even look at me.” His voice was barely a whisper but loud enough for her to hear as he slid into the stool beside her.

Gathering enough courage, she raised her head. “Dean.” His name rolled off her tongue so easily, but her heart ached for the past. Dean cracked a smile at her as his emerald eyes did not leave hers once. It was as if he was memorizing every tiny detail of her face and if anyone would've asked him, he would've replied that he was.

Y/N hadn't changed much over the years he had spent in LA. She was still the same girl he had first met in school and the last time he had seen her at their graduation. She was a shy girl but they had clicked instantly. Growing up, she was his best friend, his person, his escape.

“Dean Winchester has walked into my bar. Must be my lucky day!” Ellen’s voice thundered across the room, grabbing the attention of a few intoxicated people. “How's LA treating you, boy?”

“Ellen! It's awesome to see you again.” A grin broke out on Dean's face as he jumped out of his seat and pulled the lady into a bear hug. “LA’s pretty okay. It is as good as the industry can be.”

“Heard some of your songs, I knew you had the talent,” Ellen said, jabbing her finger into his chest to prove her point. “Now what can I get ya? On the house.”

“A beer will be just fine. Don't want to show up to the Winchester house drunk!” He chuckled.

“Alright, coming right up. Y/N, honey, you want another round or a glass of water?” The lady asked.

“I'll be leaving in a few. Glass of water it is, El.” She replied but was then interrupted by Dean.

“One drink, with me. It's on me, Ella.” There it was again, that fucking name. A few years ago, that name would have made her cheeks heat up but now, it just made her blood boil. She clenched her hand into fists, tears pricking at her eyes as she swallowed the lump in her throat.

“Do not call me that.” She hissed, surprising Dean. Y/N turned towards the man, finally taking a good look at him. He had changed a lot, had become more handsome but LA had not modified his clothing style because he was still wearing his signature flannel and jeans accompanied by a jacket. She wondered how many girls had stopped him for a picture or an autograph on his way back to Lawrence, jealousy seeping into her. She hated the way he still had that effect on her.

“Y/N-” She knew what he was going to say. ‘I am sorry’, but she wasn't ready to forgive him now, if ever.

“No. Don't.” She stopped him mid-sentence, hands digging into her purse as she pulled out the money for her drinks, dropping them on the counter.

“El, I am going home.” Ellen, who was silently watching their whole exchange, nodded her head before asking, “Want me to call a cab for you?”

“No. I'm going to crash at your place. I need to have a word with Jo.” Y/N said since it was near impossible for her to walk back to her house, considering she was quite tipsy and still in heels, but she also didn't want to wait until the woman called a cab with Dean Winchester anywhere nearby. After getting her belongings, she got out of the barstool and left the place on wobbly legs. Her feet would no doubt be screaming in pain the next day.

Stepping out, she inhaled deeply, letting a few tears fall as the cool air hit her face. After their graduation, Y/N had sworn she would try her best to forget the older Winchester. She wasn't quite successful in her aim, because many times she would come across his gorgeous face on the cover of a magazine or his song would be playing on the radio, striking up old memories of their time spent together in high school.

Still lost in her thoughts, she took a step forward, only to misjudge the cobblestone path and end up losing her balance. She braced herself for the impending fall but was saved by a pair of strong hands wrapped around her waist.

“Watch your step, sweetheart,” Dean said, letting her down gently. “Lemme see, did you hurt your ankle?” He went down on his knees in front of her, pulling a low gasp out of her as he examined her feet.

“Were you following me?” Y/N gritted out those words.

“No.” He shook his head but she clearly saw through the lie.

“I’m fine. You can go now.” She said, her eyes looking everywhere but the man.

“Come on, don't be so stubborn. Get in the car, I'll drop you off at your house or Jo’s place if you want.” He said looking up, trying to catch her eyes but she was adamant about not giving him that satisfaction. Y/N squeezed her eyes shut, lips quivering before she answered.

“Leave me alone.” She muttered, a tear running down her cheek. All that preparation for not breaking down in front of Dean and her body still betrayed her. The man got up. Y/N noticed that he was now wearing a cap, probably to hide from any bystander who might recognize him.

“Y/N/N, I-” Dean was at a loss of words. He hated seeing her so heartbroken and he loathed himself for being the cause of it. He tried to reach out and hold her hand but she recoiled back, making him wince. “Please, Ella.”

“Stop calling me that, Winchester. How many times do I have to repeat that?” Her voice came out as a little whine, making Dean chuckle. He missed it - her tone, the timbre, the intensity in her pitch, and the words it said, which used to be his voice of reason; he missed his best friend. “Why the fuck would you laugh at that? I am not doing stand up comedy out here.” Y/N was still the strong-headed girl he adored.

“You'll probably hurt yourself if you walk in those heels again with how tipsy you are right now. Get in the car, I know you missed cruising around the town in Baby because she missed you for sure.” And that thankfully got the exact reaction out of her that he had anticipated. She finally looked right at him, her face lit up at the pretense of seeing the beloved black car again.

“I thought she was in LA with you.” Y/N said and then it dawned on her, “Did you drive across the States?”

“Damn right I did!” He beamed in reply like he had won a trophy, his heart swelling with happiness when he saw the smile forming on her face mixed with awe and surprise. He still had to go a long way to get her back, but he had to take baby steps. At least he managed to make her smile. “So? Want to go out, just like the old times?”

The smile instantly disappeared from Y/N’s lips and Dean knew he fucked up right then. Maybe he shouldn't have mentioned the good ol’ days. “Sweetheart, I'm sorry-”

“Just drop me off at Jo’s. That's it.” She said, lowering her gaze. He waved her over to the direction where his car was parked. Y/N started to walk along as Dean wordlessly followed her.

Y/N felt a wave of nausea hit her. She didn't do well in social gatherings and this was her graduation ceremony. One wrong step, one wrong word, or a wardrobe malfunction, and the day could turn into a disaster in an instant.

“Honey, you're gonna be excellent out there! We're all very proud of you.” Mary said while hugging Y/N tightly as they both waited on the former's older son to come downstairs who was running late, as usual. She had grown incredibly close to the Winchester family over the years. They were her rock, especially Dean who was there with her at every step as she went through the separation of her parents.

“Are you and John going to join my parents at the ceremony? Someone needs to stop them before they end up killing each other.” She grimaced.

“Isn't this going to be the first time they are together in one single room, since their….you know-” Sam asked as he came out of the kitchen, a green smoothie in his hands. Dean might have been her best friend, her confidante, but Sam was the little brother she never thought she needed.

“First get that green drink outta my sight, I already feel like I'm gonna throw up. Second, you can speak about the divorce. It's not taboo and it was a long time coming. Everyone knew that.” Y/N reluctantly said. The separation of her parents might have been foreseeable but, nevertheless, it still hurt her to see her parents walkout in two separate ways once the divorce was finalized. The house had become much quieter these days which she was thankful for but she also felt the evident absence of her father.

“Mom and Dad will definitely be there!” Dean announced loudly as he came down the stairs. “Come on let's go. Don't wanna be late for our own graduation ceremony!” She could always count on him to make her day better.

“I should have told you.”

“W-what?” Y/N asked dumbfoundedly as Dean’s gruff voice broke her out of the reverie and pulled her back to reality. A minute passed when she noticed even if his hands were on the steering, he wasn't driving anymore.

“This-” she looked out of the window, “this isn't Jo’s place.”

“No, this is our place,” Dean said.

“Dean.” This was the last place she wanted to be at, let alone be here with Dean. It had taken every ounce of her strength to not run back to this place over the past few years whenever she missed her best friend, only to realize that he had left her in the dust on his path to fame and didn't care about her as much as she used to think. Too many memories were attached to this particular place.

“I missed this, Y/N.” He said, killing the engine and slowly opening the door on his side. Y/N understood what he was trying to do and her mind screamed at her in protest to not follow him but her heart told her to follow the man it belonged to.

Dean finally stepped out of the car and walked over to the closed door on her side. She opened the door herself before he could and stepped out as well with a huff. The place was the same as it ever was. “I haven't been here since graduation.” She blurted out.

“I should have told you,” Dean said as they started to walk to their spot. Y/N chose to remain quiet. “Ella, please say somethin’.”

“I am not your Ella anymore, Dean. Stop calling me that.” She said but this time it wasn't a whine, instead, she yelled it out. She was sick and tired of yearning for the man who had broken her heart several years ago and now she was scared that he was gonna leave her once again.

“You'll always be my Ella.” He said.

“The Prince didn't lie to Cinderella and leave her behind but you- it hurts me to remember how close we were then. You left me without even a simple goodbye, so no, I am not your Ella anymore.” She flinched when he reached out for her.

He had stopped walking now and so had she. Dean moved closer to her before standing exactly in front of her. His hands lightly traced her jaw as she looked up at him. She looked just as enchanting under the moonlight as he remembered. He cupped her face in his hands, thumbs gently caressed her cheeks. She had given up fighting herself now, driven only by instinct. All the walls that she had put up came crumbling down with one touch of his.

“Why do you think I didn't say goodbye to you?” Dean whispered.

“Maybe all the years that we spent together meant nothing to you.” Her voice was like a melody to his ears but the words broke his heart even further.

“Because it was too damn hard. When RC Records called me up three days before graduation, you were the first person I wanted to tell, but I couldn't, ‘cause if I did, I wouldn't have made it to where I am right now.” He said, not a trace of mirth on his face.

“I wouldn't have held you back.” It was simple. Y/N always wanted to stay in Lawrence and look over her mother's bakery shop, and that's what she ended up doing. She now owned the shop and her business was thriving. Dean had wanted to become a singer ever since he was ten when he was forced to play the Prince, opposite to Y/N’s lead. He had found his passion and she had always encouraged it, even when John had strongly protested against him choosing music as his major. “You know I always supported you.”

“I know that, but thinking about not seeing you every day made me not want to go. I kept imagining you upset and that's why I didn't have it in me to tell you about my break.” He said. Y/N grabbed his hands pushing them away from her face.

“You ended up making me sad anyway. So why the fuck are you back?” She was enraged.

“Ella-” Dean tried to come closer but she stepped back, “I came to see my family.”

“Then why are you wasting your time here with me?”

“Because you're the most important person in my life and every day I spent away from you, you were the only person on my mind.” Dean smiled.

“What?”

“You were the first thought when I woke up and the last thought when I went to sleep.” He said and pulled her close when she finally stopped fighting. “I love you, Y/N Y/L/N. I know I am late and probably missed my chance, but five years in LA have taught me to take the risks. I love you, Ella.”

“I can't-” Dean’s smile felt but he quickly recovered.

“I-I understand.” He let out a dry chuckle, “You got a man back at home waiting for you. He sure is one lucky bastard.”

“No. You do not fucking understand! You are just so in your head, it's just-” She flailed her arms around in utter frustration. “Do you have any idea how long it took me to move on? I have been on so many dates but no man was ever enough for me, all because of your sorry ass! The Graduation Day - I knew you always thought of me as your best friend, so I had decided to ask you out myself,”

“Y/N-”

“No, let me finish. You have to fucking listen about how much pain you put me through these five years! The next day, I went to your house only to hear from your parents that you were on your way to LA. I fucking hate you!” Tears rolled down her cheeks. “I fucking hate how much I still love you, Dean!”

His eyes widened in surprise as he kept opening and closing his mouth like a damn fish. He was unable to form a coherent sentence and so he cupped Y/N’s cheeks in his big, warm hands once more, but now he dipped down, tilting his face and pulling her in for a kiss. His teeth grazed her bottom lips, making her moan into his mouth. She could feel the blood rush to her cheeks as she found herself completely enamored by him. Her hands snuck to the back of his neck as she steadied herself. Her knees buckled under his hypnotic touch as he slipped his tongue into her mouth, her whole body tingled and toes curled up as his tongue explored every inch of her mouth.

“De,” Y/N tried to catch her breath when Dean finally let go of her lips, already missing the feel of her on him.

His hands traveled down her body, making her gasp aloud at the feel. He lowered his mouth as he started to leave a trail of kisses along her jaw and down her neck. “Dean, please. Don't.” Her three short words made him stop.

“Alright.” He gulped.

“I don't want to get my heart broken again, Winchester, I don't think I can survive it again.” Y/N knew he would return to LA within a week, and so she didn't want to take this any further. “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me, right?”

“I won't. I am not going back.” Y/N looked at him, surprise evident in her eyes, “I don't care about my career anymore. Five years without you was like living in hell and my bandmates are probably so tired of hearing how much I missed you. I will write my songs from here in Lawrence if it means that I'll be closer to you.”

“You would do that for me?” She asked sincerely.

“I would. I was a stupid kid back then but now I have realized that nothing's more important to me than you. I don't want to lose my Ella ever again.” He said, “I'm sorry for taking so long to understand that. There is no way-” His words were cut off as Y/N captured his lips with her own. The sudden kiss caught him off guard but he quickly pulled himself together to kiss her back. “Shit, Y/N-” he gasped when he felt his dick twitch. He picked her up in quick motion and went towards the car. Y/N giggled when her back lightly collided with Baby’s door. Dean dropped his head, nipping at the pulse point on her neck.

“Dean-” She moaned, which was better than any music he had ever made as his hands slipped under her dress, his fingers hovering over her soaked panties. Her thighs clenched in anticipation.

“You have no idea how long I dreamt of having you. You're soaked, sweetheart. ” He huskily said, his fingers hooking on the waistband of her cotton panties. “Tell me to stop and I will, in a heartbeat. No questions.”

“N-no. Don't stop.” Y/N cooed. Dean dragged down her panties which pooled at her feet. He picked it up and stuffed it into his pocket. Thankfully, there was no one around but the thrill of being out in the open with Dean got her even more hot and bothered. Her hands grasped onto his biceps tightly so that she wouldn't topple over when Dean slipped a finger into her tight pussy. Her mouth fell open, her head dropping on his shoulder as he started pumping slowly, every drag of his finger pushing her closer to the edge.

Dean felt his pants tighten as he heard the sweet moan of his name leave her lips. Her raspy voice was one he could hear all day long, her heavy pants tickling his skin. With one hand he unbuckled his belt, trying to relieve himself a little, but when a cry of pleasure left her lips as he slipped in another finger, he hoped that he wouldn't cream his pants like a freaking teenage boy.

Y/N felt the coil in her stomach tighten as she inched towards her climax. Dean quickened his pace, curling his fingers inside her and brushing her g-spot, each time eliciting a low moan out of her. “Dean….” She couldn't form any coherent words other than chanting his name over and over again and a moment later, the coil snapped as she felt herself coming undone. He delicately pulled his fingers out of her, which were covered in her juice. Dean reached behind her, yanking the door open as he nudged her to go in. She readily obliged and slid into the seat with shaky legs. He climbed into the backseat after her, closing the door behind him.

Her dress had ridden up her thigh, exposing her glistening pussy. Dean’s eyes darkened at the sight before him as he swiftly pulled his shirt over his head, discarding it somewhere in the front. He pushed her dress further up. She raised her hands as he successfully got her out of the garment and unhooked her bra. Y/N moved further back into the seat, her back resting against the door on the other side as Dean started to leave kisses down her body.

“Have you ever thought about this? ‘Cause I did, every freaking day.” Dean asked, kissing the valley between her breasts, the rumble of his voice sending shivers down her spine.

“E-every time I touched myself, I thought of you.” She said, gasping out loud at every word when his mouth found her breasts and started to suck on the soft skin, flicking a nipple with his tongue and twirling the other within his fingers.

“Oh-” Dean raised his head to look at her before he moved south, “Did you think about me between your legs just like this-” He said as he left kisses along her thigh, his stubble creating soft burns on her skin in its wake that she would definitely remember. He finally stopped at her nether regions, his hot breath fanning against her throbbing pussy. “Did you think about me tasting you like this?”

Y/N threw her head back in pleasure when his mouth latched onto her sensitive bundle of nerves, his tongue flicking at her aching nub. Her hands traveled down to his head, her fingers getting tangled up in his soft hair and pulled at the strands, making him groan.

“Fuck-” She exclaimed as Dean hungrily devoured her, his tongue repeatedly assaulting her sensitive pussy, sucking needily on her bundle of nerves. Y/N threw her head back in pleasure as she felt the coil in your stomach tighten before a wave of pleasure washed over her. “Shit!” She gasped as Dean’s tongue lapped her juices hungrily.

“Fuck, sweetheart, you taste so good.” He panted before he unbuttoned his pants pushing them down along with his boxers, freeing his erection sprung from his confines. “Son of a bitch, I don’t have-” Y/N sensed his uneasiness.

“I’m on the pill.” She smirked as she stared at his toned body.

“Well, I’m clean.” She reached out to touch his stomach, hands then traveling down to his length. Dean dropped his head, biting down on his lips, “Y/N-” He pushed her hands away, smirking as he ran his hand along his hardened cock, giving it a few strokes, the tip beaded with precum. He looked at Y/N once and lined himself with her dripping entrance when she gave him a nod to go ahead.

His swollen tip teasingly nudged at her opening before he pushed himself into her.

“Shit Y/N-” Dean grunted, simultaneously as Y/N hissed out at the painful sensation at the beginning as he pushed himself into her, letting her adjust around his size before she told him to move. He circled his hips as he slowly pulled out, leaving only the tip of his engorged cock inside her, before pushing back in again, deeper than before.

“Holy fuck-” Y/N moaned out when he quickened his pace, hitting her g-spot repeatedly with every thrust as they both inched towards their release. Dean kissed her as he continued to thrust deep into her, their breathing growing erratic, the windows of the chevy fogged up and the car filled with their groans and moans as they both chased their release. She hooked her arms at the small of his back as he started to nibble at her sweet spot. His hand moved south, his thumb rubbing circles on her clit which further edged her.

“Shit De!” Y/N cried out loud as her walls fluttered around his pulsating length when she felt herself coming undone. Dean’s thrusts became sloppy as he grunted into the crook of her neck before he spilled into her with one cry of her name, painting her walls with his seed. He dropped his head, trying to catch his breath before he gently pulled out.

“Fuck sweetheart.” Dean panted, beads of sweat lining his forehead as they both laid in each other’s arms, basking in the post-coital bliss. “Was this better than your fantasies? ‘Cause, ‘twas surely better than mine.” Dean smirked, reaching out to grab a piece of cloth to clean themselves up. “We should have done this sooner.”

“If only you hadn't been such a coward.” Y/n teased with a giggle.

“Your dumbass could have called me up. I wasted five years being one, terrified to hear how much you hate me.” He grumbled, cleaning up the mess on the seat. Honestly, she could have but she didn't ‘cause she was scared to hear the truth as well; that Dean had truly left her.

“So, you’re sayin’ we’re both a couple of dumbasses.” Y/N chuckled, putting on her bra.

“Your words, not mine.” Dean gave her a sly smirk. “The Winchester household will be so delighted, once they know I finally got my head out of my ass and looked at the beautiful woman right in front of me.” He was right in every sense. The Winchesters, all of them had always believed that those two would end up together. Everyone saw how in love they were except Y/N and Dean.

“Isn't it too early for the introduce-the-girlfriend-to-the-family thing?” She asked which got an eye roll out of the man. “Panties?”

“I don't have them.” Dean sneakily raised his hands.

“I saw you stuff them into your pocket.” He grabbed her dress from the front seat, throwing it at her.

“Put this on, or preferably, just don't.” He gave her a boyish smile, getting a raised eyebrow in reply, “Oh I'm not done with you. Gotta make up for the lost years, sweetheart.” Dean's eyes darkened at the thought as Y/N gulped, knowing she wouldn't be able to walk properly for weeks.

Feedback is highly appreciated!

#downanddirtydeans500followerschallenge #make me feel bingo #dean winchester fic #dean x reader #dean winchester x reader #au dean x reader #au dean winchester x reader #dean x y/n #dean winchester x y/n #au dean fic #au dean x y/n #au dean winchester x y/n #spn fic

[johaerys-writes]

Hi! I had an idea for a one shot about Achilles and Patroclus. You don't have to if you don't want to, I totally get it lol. But there's this one scene in the book where Patroclus cuts his wrist to take a blood oath, and tells Agamemnon Achilles' plan. When Patroclus comes back bleeding Achilles says "Will you tell me who hurt you?" --- I would like to request a fanfiction where someone hurts Pat and Achilles gets angry at them. Okay, thank you for your time lol. Love your writing btw. -Sienna

Awww thank you! When I first saw this, my brain instantly went: Modern AU!! I just couldn’t resist writing angry and frustrated teenage Achilles, and this quickly took on a life of its own. So have a one shot where Patroclus is bullied at school and Achilles goes on a rampage. 

I hope you like!! Only part of it here, the rest is up on AO3 because of length. 

CW: graphic depictions of violence, explicit language 

********

Patroclus is hiding something from him. Achilles has had his suspicions for a while.

First, there’s that day after spring break. Achilles is waiting for him outside the school gates after the classes are over, and Patroclus shows up late with his hair dishevelled and his glasses a little askew. When Achilles asks him what happened, Patroclus just tells him that it is nothing, that he dropped his glasses on his way out of class and they got bent out of shape. There's no reason not to believe him — Patroclus would never lie to him— but there's something in the way he says it that gives Achilles pause.

Patroclus insists that it’s nothing when Achilles asks him again, and gives the same answer when Achilles keeps asking him all the way back to the house, and then some, until Patroclus’ gaze takes on that resigned and detached look it usually does when Achilles presses him too much.

Achilles lets him be, just this once.

It is only a few days later that Achilles notices something else. It is a warm Sunday afternoon, and the hot and humid southern winds that blow through the oval stellated globes of the flowering lilacs send the white-purple petals cascading around them like snow. Achilles is lying on the warm grass with his arm curled under his head, and watches the dappled light that filters through the leaves overhead play languidly across Patroclus’ bare back. It is still a little damp from their swim in the stream beyond the olive grove, the drops of water on it shimmering in the sun, and there’s something about the way his tan skin prickles when the breeze blows that’s so captivating.

It is then that Achilles notices a bruise on his left shoulder, yellow bleeding at the edges of the dark purple of its core.

“What’s this?” he asks, and reaches out instinctively to touch it. “Where did you get it?”

Patroclus jolts slightly, recoils from his touch. “It’s nothing,” he mumbles.

“It’s something.”

Patroclus just shrugs and reaches for his shirt that’s lying beside him. He makes as if to pull it on over his head when Achilles catches him by the arm. Patroclus gasps when Achilles rolls over him and pins him to the grass, holding him down by the shoulders.

“What is it?” he asks. “Where did you get it?”

“It’s nothing, Achilles,” Patroclus says again. His eyes dart away, but then they quickly snap back to him, wide and panicked when Achilles leans down close enough that their noses touch. He fixes him with a hard look, unblinking.

“Tell me what it is. Tell me where you got it.”

Achilles can feel Patroclus’ shaky breath on his lips and the heat emanating from his skin, the cold tip of his nose pressing against his own, and he doesn’t know why that sends a shiver down his spine. Patroclus inhales slowly.  

“It’s from a wall,” he whispers. “I tripped and fell.”

“On a wall?”

Patroclus swallows, nods. His gaze slides away from Achilles' again, and Achilles can see the flush that creeps up his cheeks, the embarrassment. There’s no reason why Achilles shouldn’t believe him. Patroclus is rather clumsy after all, daydreaming and walking about with his nose stuck in his books. It could well be that he fell on a wall, though there’s something, something that's not sitting quite right.

“You’re hurting me,” Patroclus says quietly when Achilles tightens his grip on his shoulder without realising it.

“Oh. Sorry.” He lets him go and rolls off of him, and then simply watches as Patroclus hurriedly pulls on his shirt and stands up.

They don't talk much on the way back home, but Achilles knows there’s something wrong, something Patroclus isn't telling him. But Patroclus is silent and closed up like a clam now, and he blushes and averts his gaze whenever their eyes meet, like Achilles has done something to offend him.

Achilles doesn't press him anymore, after this.

~

It is late spring, and school usually finishes early. No one wants to stay in class for too long, not when the sun hangs hot and bright over the flat plains and rolling hills of Phthia, and elderly Mr. Phoenix is always getting terrible allergies from the pollen, so he lets them go early more often than not. Patroclus has extra classes in the afternoons, so Achilles hangs out with the lads from the football team behind the school gym until he’s done. Agamemnon sometimes brings beers, and Menelaus often carries weed with him, and Ajax just tags along.

Achilles finds them all a little dull, but he indulges them every so often because they all look up to him and want him around. All save for Agamemnon, that is; they’ve always had a bit of competition going on the two of them, and Agamemnon has been giving Achilles the side eye ever since he learned that both Clytemnestra and Helen fancy him, but what fault is it of his? Achilles can’t help that he’s the best in the track team and the captain of the football team and that the cheerleaders like him, or that Agamemnon looks like a cave troll and smells worse than one. That, least of all.

The conversation today is the usual — they talk about football, about the team, about Helen and Clytemnestra and their new cheerleader outfits, and Achilles listens with half an ear— until it isn’t.

It is Patroclus that steers it away. Agamemnon and the others see him crossing the yard with Briseis by his side, and that’s when the whispers start. First, they comment on the fact that he’s older than them but they’re all still in the same year. It’s old news now, but Achilles gets why it would still seem odd to them. He is the only one that knows that, when Patroclus first moved to Phthia, he was going through stuff and wasn’t studying much, so Mr. Chiron, the headmaster, insisted he repeat the whole year. Then they comment on his appearance, his quiet demeanour, his glasses, or the fact that when he’s not with Achilles he only hangs out with girls. And Achilles gets that too, because Patroclus isn’t like them, he’s not like any of them, he’s different and has always been. They could never hope to understand him or know him; they're not worthy.

That doesn't stop Achilles from speaking up and telling them all to shut it or else. No one speaks like this about Patroclus when he’s around, no one, get it?

Agamemnon is stunned only for a brief moment by his outburst, blinks up at him when he sees him looming threateningly over him. Then, he smiles.

“Why? Do you fancy him, Pellides?” He grins as the others start snickering. “Do you fancy Patroclus?”

The question gives Achilles pause. No, he doesn’t fancy Patroclus, that would be absurd. Patroclus is his friend. He likes spending time with him, yes, much more than he does with anyone else in the world, but that’s to be expected, considering that they’ve practically grown up together and all. And Patroclus is not like them, he’s not like Achilles either, he’s his own person and has his own thoughts that are too big and unusual for this sort of place, and he makes Achilles feel at home. He has this way of knowing exactly what to say, when to say it, and he knows Achilles better than anyone, better than his mother, his father, himself, even. And yeah, maybe, sometimes, when he goes to bed and deft hands slide under covers and layers of fabric as if on their own, it’s Patroclus he thinks about, and the soft sound of his laugh and the contemplative curl of his lip, his large doe-like eyes that seem to know too much, and the way the dappled light plays across his bare back when they go swimming together, but what of it? Friends do that.

Right?

Agamemnon’s knowing smile grates at him. Achilles punches him in the face and breaks his nose, for good measure.

He gets detention for it, of course. He knows they’ll tell his father, but he doesn’t care. It’s not like he’ll tell him anything, Achilles knows he will understand. To insult Patroclus would be to insult him (because Patroclus is part of the family and an extension of himself, and they’re together, together always) and no one insults a Pellides lightly, not around these parts. So Achilles grins when Mr. Chiron sternly orders him to sit in class for an extra two hours and write essays that no one has need for, then proceeds to glance at the papers before him with disdain and prop his feet on the desk like a punk because he feels like it.

Time glide by slowly, really slowly, and Achilles is bored. For two hours, Agamemnon’s question plays in his mind in a loop.

Do you fancy him, Pellides?

Achilles scoffs to himself, rolls his eyes. No, of course he doesn’t, of course. That’s not what this is about. Patroclus is his mate, right, his best mate. He’s more than a friend, actually, he’s more like a brother, he’s—

Look. It’s complicated, alright?

It all started that summer after first form. It was the worst summer of his life, by many accounts, not because it was the rainiest summer in the history of Phthian summers, nor because they hadn’t gone to Skyros like they always used to as a family, not even because his mother had packed her bags and finally left the house and Phthia for good. It wasn’t because of that. Achilles had expected that to happen at some point, perhaps not as soon or as abruptly, but she always used to tell him about her family up north and how she wanted to go back to them, and how little the warm and humid climate of Phthia agreed with her, and how much of a waste of air his father was.

Those weren’t the reasons why he had disliked that summer so much. It was because of the silence.

It was steady and deep, permeating every inch of the space, slithering under the door cracks and the half open windows. It wasn’t the tense and icy sort of quiet like before, when it felt like his parents were only a breath away from tearing at each other’s throats. It was more of a lull, a bubble of stillness, the calm before the storm. Achilles had expected it to break, had waited for the bubble to pop, but it never did. His father had disappeared into his work, and even when he was at home he would retreat to his office for ‘phone calls’ that would last hours, but Achilles could smell the whisky and cigar smoke that drifted down the long corridor.

And that was fine. Achilles didn’t need him anyway. He had his friends at school, Agamemnon and Menelaus and the others. They would all take their bikes and roam the town and the endless cotton fields beyond, miles upon miles of fluffy, snow white blooms; they even rode down to the beach once or twice. He had always found their company dull and Agamemnon had been loud and annoying even then, but Achilles hung out with them because to go back home would be to return to that silence and solitude, and he didn’t want to do that.

So he stayed out, for most of the summer. He continued staying out long after the summer had gone and passed, after the school had started and most of his friends, even Ajax and his brother, would go back home early to study. Achilles would stay out and just wander, wander.

He was failing classes. He was wasting away, and he knew it.

And then in his life wandered... him.

Well, not technically. His father had taken the car one day, and then he’d come back, and there Patroclus was, sitting in the passenger seat. He had only brought a single suitcase, which apparently held all of his belongings, and a small and peculiar guitar that used to belong to his mother, as Achilles learnt afterwards. Standing next to his father, who was tall and blonde and broad of shoulder, with his bronzed brow and his jade green eyes, Patroclus seemed like a lost child Peleus had picked up from the side of the road. He was small in stature, his dark curls falling over his eyes. He hadn’t looked Achilles in the eye, not even when Achilles had stood right before him.  

“Patroclus will be staying with us from now on,” his father had informed him merrily, then picked up Patroclus’ luggage to bring it up to the upstairs bedroom he would be staying in, next to Achilles’. “You two be good now, you hear?” he’d said before he left, and ruffled both of their hair.

And that had been it. Not much of an explanation, but Achilles hadn’t bothered looking for one. There was finally someone in the house besides himself and his father, who wasn’t there at all, really, and that was enough for him.

“Can you ride a bike?” Achilles had asked him.

Patroclus had looked up at him then for the first time, his round and dark eyes somewhat fearful, before he had given him a slow nod.

They didn’t spend much time apart, after this.

Read the rest on AO3!

#the song of achilles #tsoa #patrochilles #patroclus #achilles #patroclus x achilles #tsoa fanfiction #johaerys answers #johaerys writes

[svtwritess]

Hello.. could you do a scenario where fem!reader had an amnesia when dating with jeonghan then start remember things with joshua? I was recently addicted watch tiktok trend with don't wanna cry as bgm but no one make it as a scenario so I thought you could pull it off.. the genre angsty but fluff with good ending in the end? with joshua if it could make sense.. thank you so much if you decide to do my request!💞 But I understand if you couldn't do it since i think my explanation weird..

warnings: graphic content (car crash, coma), amnesia

word count: 4.3k

genre: heavy angst, fluff maybe if you squint

pairing: jeonghan x female reader, joshua x female reader

It all happened so fast. One minute Jeonghan was the love of your life, and the next you didn’t even know his name. 

You were driving home from an event one night, a fancy one that his company held. You were both dressed to the 9’s, him in a tux and you in the most luxurious dress you’d ever had the pleasure of wearing. The two of you laughed as he drove, his hand on your thigh and your hand on top of his. You’d had an amazing night, everyone was so kind to the both of you and Jeonghan had the best time showing you off, announcing you as his girlfriend to anyone that would listen. 

The both of you had had a few drinks, though Jeonghan had eaten plenty and insisted that he was okay to drive. Anyone else who would have driven the two of you home had been drinking as well, and you trusted Jeonghan. Neither of you knew how big of a mistake you were making. 

As Jeonghan drove, more carefree than he normally would’ve been due to how happy he was and the alcohol, with only one hand on the wheel, he lost control. Once the rain started pouring, Jeonghan had forgotten to turn on his headlights, the slick road causing the car to swerve in all of the wrong directions, and eventually the front of the car was slamming into the railing on the side of the road. Jeonghan’s airbag had ejected in perfect time, but yours had gotten stuck. You flew forward, head hitting the dashboard in front of you, then the window next to you, before finally slamming back against your seat. 

You were unconscious after the first blow, the other hits to your head only further worsening your condition. Though you were almost glad you were knocked out, as the sounds of Jeonghan’s screams would’ve shattered your heart. He remembered how warm the tears that streamed down his face were as he called for help, barely able to get the words out or even remember where he was. 

When the police cars and firetrucks arrived, you were both rushed to the hospital. Jeonghan cried the entire way there, his eyes not leaving your still figure in hopes that you would wake up. You never did. 

Upon arriving at the hospital, he begged and pleaded to be put in the same room as you, though as you were to be treated differently, the nurses refused. His body and mind were tired, no longer allowing tears to fall from his eyes. He just laid in the mediocre bed he was provided, lifeless. His friends and family had come to visit, beyond happy that he was okay. When they asked about you, though, tears started falling again, even though it hurt. 

His head was pounding no longer from the impact, but from how hard he had cried. His eyes stung from how dry they had become. He was miserable. 

Jeonghan was discharged from the hospital two days later, but he didn’t leave. He asked the first nurse he saw what room you were in, and when she didn’t know he asked another. And another. And another. Finally, the man who was assigned to you in the intensive care unit took him to see you, and Jeonghan broke down at the sight. He fell on his knees by your bed, grabbing onto your hand in hopes that you would feel his touch and miraculously wake up. 

The doctor said that there was no way to tell when you would wake up, that it was only a matter of time. Jeonghan nodded, saying that he could handle that. He knew he could.

After two weeks he started sleeping at home, though he cleared his entire schedule so he could go and sit with you. He would read to you and talk to you, hoping that there was an off chance you could hear him. He told you how much you meant to him, how much he loved you. He cried more often than not, and after a few days he stopped trying to pull himself together whenever a nurse or doctor came in. 

He slept in your room every day, an unbelievable pain in his back because of the way he had to curl up on the only chair in your room. It was worth it, though. This was his fault, and more than anything, he wanted to be there when you woke up. To apologize. To ask what on earth he could do to make it up to you. To tell you he would never hurt you ever again. 

On the 5th day of the 3rd week of your coma (Jeonghan remembered), you finally woke up. Your eyes were glazed over in confusion, most of the wounds from the accident had healed. Even if they hadn’t, you still would’ve looked beautiful. 

Jeonghan promised he would keep his composure when your eyes opened, but when it happened he realized there was no way in hell that was going to happen. 

He rushed to your bedside, grabbing your hand, your name falling off of his lips incessantly as he sobbed. He started apologizing, but you only furrowed your eyebrows, an almost fearful look in your eyes. He noticed, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. He just wanted you to hear him, wanted you to talk to him, wanted you to know how utterly horrible he felt about everything. 

The nurse’s kind voice told him that they had to ask you some questions to see how you were doing, to see what you could remember. Jeonghan thanked the man and asked if he could wait outside of the room, and though it wasn’t normal, the nurse could see how distressed Jeonghan was. He told him yes and Jeonghan let out a breath of relief, thanking him before moving to sit beside your door. 

But before he could get past his I’m sorry’s, he was being dragged out of the room. He had completely lost it, screaming, crying, begging for the nurse to let him stay, but despite his fight, he found himself outside the door, on his knees again, defeated. 

There were no chairs or benches, he sat on the floor. He even laid down at one point, the linoleum floor doing nothing to comfort him. Though he didn’t expect it to, he knew only one thing would really make him feel better; you feeling better.

Eventually the doctor came out, Jeonghan hurrying to stand on his feet. He knew he looked a mess, but he couldn’t bring himself to care as he asked the doctor how you were doing, if he could see you. Jeonghan will never forget the doctor’s words. 

“She’s got retrograde amnesia…” the doctor had sighed. “Are you her boyfriend?” he asked and Jeonghan nodded, mouth too dry to form words. “It doesn’t seem as though she remembers you. I’m… I’m deeply sorry. You can go in whenever you’re ready.” 

All Jeonghan wanted to do was scream and cry, to beg whatever higher power there was for forgiveness, beg them for you back. Beg them for the you that remembered him back. But all he could do was stand there, in shock, disbelief. Could he even handle seeing you when you didn’t know who he was? Would you ever remember?

Then he remembered.

He did this to you. Literally all of this, every part of it was his fault.

She deserves better than me, he thought. How selfish can I be? he pondered as he turned on his heel, calling Seungcheol to come pick him up so he could leave the hospital.

“Hello? Is this Yoon Jeonghan?” the familiar voice asked through the phone.

“Yeah, who is this?” 

“My name is Joshua, I was a nurse at the hospital. I was, uh, assigned to take care of Y/N.” he said casually, a stabbing pain in Jeonghan’s heart upon hearing your name. 

“Okay, what’s this about?” Jeonghan managed to get out, mouth now dry, heart pounding in his chest. 

“I just… I remember how hard everything seemed to be for you, and the doctor mentioned that she didn’t remember you, but I just wanted to let you know that she’s doing okay. She’s great, actually. She’s getting discharged tomorrow.” Jeonghan’s pained heart was suddenly swelling to the size of his chest. A few weeks ago, there was no way he’d be able to see you and have you asking him “Who are you?”. But he had taken some time, taken some time to heal, and he was ready. He was finally ready to see you, and he wanted to more than anything, even if you were nothing to him.

“R-really? Do… Do you think I could see her? Would she even agree to see me do you think?” Jeonghan asked, talking so quick he was almost stumbling over his tongue. 

“Yeah, I think so.” Joshua said hopefully. “Do you know the coffee shop right next to the hospital?” 

“Yes.” 

“I’ll make sure she’s there around noon tomorrow.” Joshua told him, and Jeonghan felt a weight of relief lift off of his shoulders. 

“Thank you…” Jeonghan breathed out, “Thank you so much.” Jeonghan’s voice was as sincere as ever, tears swelling in his eyes. Joshua said a simple you’re welcome before ending the call. 

Jeonghan fell backward onto his bed, warm tears falling down the sides of his face. He called Seungcheol to tell him the news, crying from excitement. Seungcheol asked him if he was sure he was ready to see you, if he could handle it. Jeonghan replied by saying he wasn’t sure, but he didn’t care. He needed to know you were doing well, even if it was a totally new life you were living, with no recollection of him at all. 

He looked around, fearing that how hard his heart was beating against his chest was visible from the outside. At first he didn’t see you, but when a familiar looking man stood up, his hand resting on your back, Jeonghan’s heart nearly leapt out of his chest. 

The more he thought about it the more he knew he couldn’t handle it, seeing you, talking to you, but he shoved that feeling deep down as he opened the door to the coffee shop the next day. 

He began to call your name, but before he could, the man he now recognized as Joshua was stepping in front of him.

“Don’t…” he started, “She’s still not used to not remembering people.” Joshua guided Jeonghan to a small, two person table, but his eyes never left you. You looked amazing, just as you always did, as you sipped on your coffee, making conversation with the girl you were sitting across from. He didn’t recognize her. 

“Who’s that girl? The girl she’s with?” Jeonghan asked as he sat down, eyes not leaving your figure as he tried to make out the expression on your face. 

“She’s just another nurse from the hospital.” Joshua sighed. “Jeonghan I need you to look at me. There’s some things I need to go over with you before you talk to her.” Jeonghan used every ounce of willpower in his body to tear his eyes off of you before locking them onto Joshua’s kind brown ones. 

“Why are you here? You made it sound like she’d be here alone…” Jeonghan said as kindly as he could. He had no issue with Joshua, in fact he’d always been kind to him, but Jeonghan wanted to talk to you. Not him. 

“Well, she would’ve been. That’s one of the things I need to talk to you about.” Joshua let out a long breath as Jeonghan looked at him expectantly. “She doesn’t remember your relationship. Any of it. She might think that you look familiar, but any romantic or… sexual relationship you may have had, it’s just gone from her mind, and I know that may be hard for you to understand. You should just avoid saying anything about your past with her, because she’s not going to understand and it might frustrate her. It’s going to be hard for you, because for the most part she’s still the same person, but you just have to remember that she doesn’t remember you.” Joshua explained sweetly and Jeonghan nodded. “Now this is gonna be difficult for you, I know that, and I hope it’s not too much to ask for you to stay calm.” 

Jeonghan’s heart fell into his stomach. What could be that bad that made Joshua warn him like that? 

“A day or two after Y/N woke up, she pretty much returned to normal, but we kept her in the hospital for about 3 more weeks just to make sure the injuries weren’t worse than they seemed, to make sure she’d truly be okay on her own. She also started, um, flirting with me I guess? Initially I just ignored it, just doing my job as required, but the more time I spent with her-”

“Don’t fucking say it.” Jeonghan said through gritted teeth. His hands were balled into fists on the table, knuckles turning white with pure and utter rage. He screwed his eyes shut, doing his absolute best to not lose it in the middle of the quaint coffee shop.

“Listen if I thought for a second that she remembered you, I would’ve never even thought about her that way. But every day the doctor would ask her what she remembered, who she remembered, and your name never came up, even when she was asked if she remembered dating someone, she said no.” Joshua avoided Jeonghan’s gaze, which was for the best because Jeonghan was glaring daggers at the slightly younger man. “But I think you deserve to see her, to know her, have a relationship with her even if it’s just a friendship. Like I said, she’s the same woman for the most part, so I think you guys would get along, but only if that’s something you’re up for…” Joshua trailed off. Jeonghan scoffed. 

“No, I’m sorry…” Joshua said softly, “And we haven’t had sex or anything, by the way. Nor really supposed to do things like that with patients...” his voice was almost inaudible. Jeonghan appreciated the other man’s honesty, but that didn’t mean he liked what he was hearing. 

“You start fucking my girlfriend then have the audacity to tell me how I should go about our new relationship?” At first, Jeonghan was nothing but pissed. This Joshua guy had no right! Who the hell did he think he was?

But then he realized. It was his new relationship with you, not the old one.

“She’s not my girlfriend anymore… is she?” Jeonghan asked, his voice low and humbled. He looked into Joshua’s eyes, and for the first time that day, Joshua saw nothing but sadness in his eyes. 

“Can I just talk to her now? Please?” Jeonghan pleaded, and after thinking for a moment, Joshua nodded. He stood up from his chair and walked over to you, placing a gentle hand on your back and bending down, saying something by your ear. You hesitated for a moment, then nodded, bidding the girl you were sitting with goodbye before walking over to where Jeonghan sat. 

Jeonghan’s heart was beat faster and faster as you approached him. You were wearing one of the dresses he had packed for you and left at the hospital, and God you nearly took his breath away. You looked as if nothing had ever happened; none of the wounds you’d gotten in the accident scarring, no trauma in your eyes. You looked… happy. Really, truly happy. 

Jeonghan wanted to stand up to greet you, but he felt as if his legs might give out, so he stayed sitting down. 

“Hi,” your sweet voice was like music to his ears and his heart fluttered; he didn’t realize how much he missed the way you sounded. 

“H-Hi.” Jeonghan said, mustering a smile as you sat down next to Joshua across from him. 

“Joshua said that I know- well, knew you.” you told him shyly and he nodded, trying not to be creepy with his staring, he just couldn’t take his eyes off of you. 

“Yeah, you did. You’re my, or, you were my girlfriend.” he twiddled his fingers on top of the table, trying to read the look in your eyes. You seemed surprised.

“Oh, really? Was it serious?” you asked innocently, not at all knowing how much your words stabbed Jeonghan like knives. You didn’t remember, and you never would. 

“Yeah I, um, I never told you, but I was planning on proposing…” his eyes finally left your face and he stared at his hands, the pain suddenly becoming almost unbearable. 

“Oh, yeah that sounds really serious,”  you let out an airy laugh of disbelief, “I’m sorry I don’t remember you.” your words were genuine, and as selfish as it sounded, they just weren’t enough for Jeonghan. 

“Yeah, me too.” he sighed, leaning back in his chair. 

“Are you the one who… who crashed the car?” Jeonghan’s eyes widened at your question. “I-I don’t remember the accident, but they just told me that’s why I don’t remember a lot of stuff.” you looked at him shyly. 

This is my fault, the voice in Jeonghan’s head reminded him. If it weren’t for me, she wouldn’t be here right now. We’d still be together. She’d remember me, she’d love me…

“I am, and I’m sorry. I know that’s not gonna make up for everything you’ve been through, but if I could change how it happened or change our places, I would do it without a second thought.” he told you. Even though you didn’t know basically anything about him anymore, you could tell he meant it. 

“Jeonghan?” you asked and his head snapped up, wishing he could replay the sound of you saying his name on an endless loop after having not heard it for so long. “That’s your name, right? I think that’s what Joshua said.” you laughed shyly and Jeonghan nodded. 

“Y-yeah, that’s my name.” he encouraged and you smiled at him. 

“I can tell you feel bad, but it’s okay. I wish I could remember you, but I’m glad I don’t remember the crash. I think life would be a lot harder if I did. And if it makes you feel any better,” you turned to look at Joshua and took his hand in yours, “I’m really happy.” 

Jeonghan didn’t know what to say, let alone what to feel. Everything was so confusing. He wanted you to be happy, but he wanted you to be happy with him, because of him, but he had to keep telling himself that you didn’t even know him. Joshua was right. The hardest thing was seeing you exactly how you were when you were together, but having to remember that you had no memories of him at all. And of course he had to keep reminding himself that it was his fault, and you deserved to live your life the way you now wanted to, not the way he wanted you to.

“That’s really good, Y/N. You deserve it.” he smiled at you, though inside he was dying. Accepting what had happened was going to be the hardest thing he’d ever have to do and it was going to take time, but he would be okay.

“I think we’re gonna head out now,” Joshua spoke up, “Y/N still has some stuff to get from the hospital.” you and Joshua stood up first and soon Jeonghan followed, not wanting your time together to end. 

“Thank you for staying with me at the hospital. Again, I don’t remember it, but Joshua told me that you were there and I think it’s really sweet.” he smiled at you, unable to believe how kind you were being. It shouldn’t have surprised him, though. You were always that way. 

“No need to thank me. I wanted to…” he trailed off and a slightly awkward silence fell over the three of you. “If not I get it, but do you think I could, uh, give you a hug?” it felt so strange asking such a thing, and Jeonghan was sure it sounded strange, but he was relieved when you nodded. 

You stepped forward and reached your arms up, wrapping your arms around his neck. Jeonghan hesitated for a moment before wrapping his arms around your waist. He couldn’t believe he was finally holding you again, making tears swell in his eyes once more. He hugged you tighter, your scent and the way your body pressed against his feeling the best way familiarity could feel. Though for you, it felt like hugging a stranger. He smelt good and his body felt nice against yours, but that was all. 

Even after you removed your arms from around him he held onto you, that was until Joshua let out an awkward cough from behind you. He begrudgingly let you go, heart shattering when you bid each other goodbye and he was forced to watch you leave the coffee shop with Joshua, his hand on the small of your back. 

He nearly fell back down in his chair, sitting there for a moment to try and collect himself. He may have looked okay, but he was a fucking mess. His mind was jumbled and his heart ached, but he supposed this was his karma. This was the universe getting back at him for what he had done. 

Jeonghan didn’t see you very often, but Joshua was good about keeping him updated. Part of Jeonghan felt like your life now was none of his business, but the other part of him felt that since he was still in love with you, he had the right to know. Maybe not the right to know, necessarily, but he wanted to know, so much so that it felt like a need. He knew you were okay, but he wasn’t ready to let you go. 

Joshua told him about your first few official dates and the funny things you had said or done. He told him about new tastes that you acquired, whether it be food or fashion or something in between, and new hobbies that you’d picked up. After a few months, Jeonghan fearfully asked Joshua if he’d slept with you yet. He said yes. Jeonghan held back the urge to throw something. 

He couldn’t fathom the fact that someone else was taking you to dinner, bringing you coffee in the morning, holding you whenever they wanted, kissing you whenever they wanted. He couldn’t believe someone else was sharing a bed with you, bringing you to the height of pleasure the way that he used to. There were some things he thought he’d rather not know…

After a few months of hearing about your life with Joshua, Jeonghan had politely asked him to stop calling. He told Joshua that if anything serious happened to you or if you died or something to let him know, but other than that he felt like he was ready. He was ready to let you go. 

After a year and a half, he finally began dating someone else. He was constantly comparing them to you, but when Joshua called one day telling him that you were engaged to him, Jeonghan truly realized that there was no going back to you, ever, and he realized that he needed to start seeing the people he dated the way they actually were, not they way they were in comparison to you. 

He thought about you all the time, of course, but with time you were the main character of his mind less and less. The less he heard about you, the less he thought about you.

There was one time when he saw you at the grocery store. You looked beautiful, dressed casually in a pair of sweatpants, a loose t-shirt, and a pair of sneakers that he’d bought you what felt like ages ago. He didn’t say anything, though. He just admired from afar. 

About another year went by and Jeonghan’s phone was buzzing. Joshua had sent him photos from your wedding, and even after so much time, Jeonghan’s breath still caught in his throat when he looked at you. You looked angelic, the way he always imagined you would look when he married you. But he didn’t cry, he wasn’t even really that upset. He was sad that he didn’t get to live his life with you the way he always wanted to, but he recognized that you were getting to live your life and that he, too, would get to live his. 

You never told anyone, not even Joshua, but no matter how happy you were or how amazing your life was, something always felt like it was missing. Joshua was perfect for you and treated you better than you thought you deserved, but each night when you laid down to go to sleep, you wondered what was out of place.

Joshua always told you that dealing with amnesia wouldn’t be easy and that it might frustrate you sometimes, and he told you to come to him if you had any questions, but you never did, specifically because you knew you would be asking about Jeonghan. You’d only met the man once, but you couldn’t help but think that he was the missing piece from your puzzle. 

You seemed to remember everything but him, and you often wondered why. It made you upset, angry, and you even cried about it. Joshua held you when you did, but you refused to tell him why you were upset no matter how bad he wanted to know. You eventually got over it and stopped letting it make you sad, but you still wondered. 

For him, you would always be the one that got away. For you, he would always be where your mind wandered when you thought of what could have been.

a/n: hello anon!! thank you so much for requesting this, i usually hate angst because it’s so sad and this is so sad but it was a very interesting request so i couldn’t help it ,, i’m sorry if this stinks or makes no sense, my eyes hurt from writing so i haven’t gone back through to edit it like i normally do LOL but i really really hope you enjoy!! 

#seventeen #jeonghan #jeonghan angst #jeonghan fluff #joshua angst #joshua fluff #seventeen jeonghan #seventeen joshua #joshua imagine #jeonghan imagine #seventeen imagine #seventeen angst #seventeen fluff

[kmclaude]

Hi Father Claude! (If it's okay to call you that?)This is going to sound silly, especially since we don't really know each other, but I've followed you for a while and you seem to be pretty versed in art-for-hire, I was wondering if you could help me out? Someone messaged me (across several accounts on different sites) about an artwork of one of my OCs asking if they could use it for a logo. I said no but I'd be happy to work on a commission for them -- how do I determine what a fair rate is?

2- I don't really do art for a living, just a hobby (I know it sounds cheap when I put it like that...) so I don't want to shoot myself in the foot, particularly since by the sounds of it this person wanted to use this for branding purposes and that's pretty major. I'm both a little flattered and a little overwhelmed, so...you know, how would you negotiate something like this? How would you determine an acceptable rate (either hourly or a flat fee? I'm not sure which is better)?- Sorry for taking up 3 asks for 1 question but you seem like you have experience with this, and I'm used to deferring to experts for matters I don't know much about! Any advice you could give would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!

Yeah sure and oh that is tough! So you got someone who needs a brand logo and you wanna know what rate to quote him at, yeah? First, congrats! Second, well I don’t know too too much about logos and other specifics of graphic design branding freelancing as I didn’t go that route professionally but I have done book covers, illustrations, and comic work so I guess I’ll speak from that. Please note that I don’t do this full time or even much part time (though I might soon enough if I return to school fulltime) so this is a tad laid back in nature. Someone who does this professionally might be better equipped to talk about this.

If I were in your shoes, the first thing I’d do would ask about his budget -- what’s his budget and what is he willing to work within? You ever hear the phrase “the first person who mentions price loses?” Yeah, so find out where his budget is. Next, compare that budget to both the industry standard for the product (which’ll take some googling or asking around) and to what you’d be willing to charge (which should be based on a mixture of living wage, time it will take to complete, skill, supplies, and other). For the record you can also be doing that step while you send off the “hey what’s your budget” email because it’s always good to have that in mind. If he asks your rates first a decent response is always “well that changes based on what you want and the complexity of the design; a budget would best help me figure out a logo solution that won’t break the bank” or something.

 If the budget looks doable, I’ll give him my quote for the project and my terms and if he agrees to them then I’ll write up a contract. I’ve often based my contracts off of the ones on Art Pact which offer free templates. Contract time is where all the negotiation begins and you can stipulate price, whether the client will cover Paypal fees, when you’ll get it done by, and so on and so forth. It’s always good to have a contract because if you’re not working as part of a firm or whatever the contract is a way to CYOA (hell even my boss and I signed and informal contract and when I send them invoices I always specify that such and such fee is there “as discussed in our correspondence” or somesuch just to, again, CYOA. 

So for example, if someone came up to me and wanted a logo done for let’s say their startup coding company -- nothing fancy, just a name in perhaps a decorative fashion, easily applicable to say a website or an invoice -- then first I’d write them back asking for their budget and maybe a little info on what they need it for, what their plans are, etc. You don’t wanna be charging pennies for the next Warner Bros. logo, y’know?

Then while waiting, I’d research the industry standard for logo designs -- what’s the general rate, what are people asking, what are newbie freelancers asking, what’s the range, what should I be charging? I’m lucky in that my best friend works in a print shop and does logo design so in theory I can ask her but let’s say she’s at church and I need an answer before Communion, so I’m gonna google “industry standard logo design”. Deluxe Corporation gives a few figures and an idea of what you’re paying for and why but no less than $200 seems to be the oft quoted number. So the industry standard is at least $200.00 USD. 

Now the question is what’s my standard? Well I refuse to work for under $15/hour minimum, I have over a decade of doing art in a public sphere, longer still of doing art in general, and about 7 or so years on and off of doing art for pay and in all that time I’ve become familiar enough with some programs, have a handful of resources font-wise and other, and can also work super fast. General experience and speed will up my price because its taken years to get there. The downside is I’m the least knowledgeable at a vector program like illustrator and I don’t have as many resources at my fingertips that a professional graphic designer would nor the dedicated training of one. Those drawbacks will lower my price. The professionality of the piece also matters -- this is branding for a company not someone’s Sonic OC that they’re gonna get framed but will otherwise not see much of the public sphere so it’s gonna cost more, obviously.

Side note: I mention $15/hour minimum but when I give out quotes, I never quote as $/hour but rather a roundabout flatrate. That’s because in general I know about how long it takes me here or there to complete a certain type of work because most clients like a general rate. In fact a lot of times I charge a LOT per hour because while I get a lot DONE in an hour/it doesn’t take me many hours to do, it’s taken me over a decade or so of work to get to the point where I can DO, say, a whole comic page from sketch to final word balloons in 5 hours or so if need be. So keep in mind that the length of time it takes to do something isn’t all there is to the price or value of a thing! This is a good blog post of tips for setting rates btw -- it also covers that tricky realm of $/hour versus flatrate!   Essentially, your flat rate is based off what you’d consider your hourly fee + wiggle room and managed for an assumed time of work done and correspondence and all those other experiential variables. If nothing else, there’s taking the 8 hour work day and multiplying that by an hourly fee. You may not TAKE a full 8 hour day to do it but that gives you a baseline of sorts if you’re totally lost. Again, most clients like a flat rate -- they know what the total pricetag is at the get-go -- and it can be to your benefit (though like that article mentions you can also find yourself doing hours of work that results in you having worked for less than minimum wage.)

Anyway, all those things in mind give me a price idea and help me out when the client emails me back with his budget because if he comes back nowhere NEAR either the industry standard or what I’m willing to work with, the decision’s made for me. If he comes back close to let’s say the industry standard of $200 -- let’s say $190 -- and I’m wanting closer to $250 because I’m doing this outta my free time but I recognize I have limitations and am willing to meet him halfway then I may be willing to say “hey, I understand budgets can be tight, but for what you’re asking I’d have to charge a bit more” and maybe raise him say $240, basically the haggle process. Which is its own art because you want the business but you don’t wanna screw yourself and have it be more trouble than its worth but it at least helps to have an idea of what industry-wise you deserve and also what you personally are willing to work for.

IDK I hope that doesn’t suck. If I were good at running a business as a freelancer I probably wouldn’t work my crummy exhausting dayjob and could actually afford my stupid dumb top surgery and obviously neither of those things are true SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO take everything I say with a grain of salt. That’s just how I do things and TBH it’s a flexible process.

#freelancing #advice #callistochan87 #kmclaude replies to ask #kmclaudereplies #kmclaudereplies to asks #kmclaudereplies to ask

[eddsworldarmageddon]

First of all, holy cow you're amazing, just getting that out of the way; otherwise this ask would be huge. Second, what programming software do you use? I now want to try to program a game, but don't know any good software. Thanks!

 Aw, you’re sweet! Thank you, you’re amazing too!

I uh… I practically wrote a novel about game making programs… so I’ll put everything under a read more:

(i hope you can see the read more button cause it doesn’t show up for me on mobile)

The program I’m using is called RPG Maker, specifically the 2000 version, which is very intuitive and reliable despite being so old. There are loads of different versions, each one more polished than the last, and they’re all available on Steam! 

I’m no programming expert, so the simplified commands allow me to do whatever I want without having to learn a coding language. It may look complicated at first, but once you learn the basics you can do quite a lot of cool stuff with it. You can even make your game for iOS and Android if you use the latest version of the program! 

RPG Maker is advertised to be simple enough for children, but powerful enough for game developers, and that’s true! I first started working with this program when I was about 9 or 10. It’s got a special place in my heart for sparking my love of game design.

The community for RPG Maker is huge!! There are lots of websites and forums you can go to if you have a question or need help programming something. There are even large libraries filled with music and graphics that people have created for others to use, free of charge! If you want to go deeper down the rabbit hole, fans of this software have created add-ons that allow you to alter the way your game plays. You can do all kinds of things using these unofficial patches, but you do have to know how to code things, which can get very difficult. Personally, I don’t use add-on programs. I would be too scared of accidentally destroying my game or something crazy like that!

Some famous RPG Maker games include: Ib, The Witch’s House, OFF, and To The Moon.

I’m not sure what your budget is, but the latest version of RPG Maker, MV, costs $79.99 at its core, and $129.99 if you get the bundle, which I assume has more stuff. If you want the version I’m using, it costs $24.99. If you’re interested in getting an RPG Maker, I’d recommend waiting for a Steam Sale, or check the website Humble Bundle for any sales they might have. Buying a game there gives you a code you can redeem on Steam, plus part of your purchase supports a charity of your choice!

Summary: Great and simple program, not free, large community of smart helpful people.

Link to the latest version: http://store.steampowered.com/app/363890/

-

Another suggestion is Stencyl, a program that also doesn’t require much coding knowledge. As long as you’ve got a basic grasp of math, this should work just fine! 

The programming style of Stencyl seems a bit limited, I’ve seen this kind of software before, but I don’t have it myself so don’t take my word for it. It’s a fair bit more complicated than something like RPG Maker. You’ll need a basic grasp of how programming works before you start, but there are loads of tutorials on the site to help you get started, in case you need help.

The program works by dragging and snapping together snippets of pre-made code to make long strands of mathematical goodness. I personally don’t like this style of programming, but you can try it out for yourself and see how you like it! There are loads of cool games people have made with this program, however the community doesn’t seem to be as large as RPG Maker’s.

There’s a free version of Stencyl, but only allows you to publish games online. You won’t be able to make downloadable (Steam-type) games or mobile games.

When it comes to the other versions, you don’t pay for this program up front like RPG Maker or GameMaker: Studio, instead you pay once every year, and the price depends on which version you have. The “Indie” version costs $99 a year, while the “Studio” version costs $199 a year. It’s pretty expensive, but not as bad as our next contender below!

Summary: Interesting program, good for learning how to code, has a free version

Link to their website: http://www.stencyl.com/

-

You could also try GameMaker: Studio! I don’t know much about this program, but I’ve heard good things about it. If you need a selling point, I believe Undertale was made using it. It seems pretty intuitive, and there are a lot of tutorials available on the website, if you need help!

GameMaker is the most unique out of the bunch, offering many different tools for you to use. It’s sleek and polished, with loads of options for you to choose from. It may take a while to get used to this one, it looks like a lot to take in, but with enough practice you could create a best-selling game, just like Mr. Toby Fox!

You can get a free version of this program which has a lot of the same features as the full versions, but you have limited distribution options.

The other two versions of GameMaker are incredibly expensive, with the standard version being $149.99, and the fancy ~master~ version being $799.99. That, ah, is a little absurd. Don’t get the super expensive one. Love yourself. Just…. no…….. why would it be that expensive oh my god…… do they even realize how many Delicious Taco Bell Tacos you could buy with that kinda cash??? mmmmno i dont think so. this is a really long post is anyone still reading at this point? hello?

Ahem, ah, anyway. 

Summary: Great program, more complicated, has a free version, the paid versions are BEYOND expensive.

Link to their website: https://www.yoyogames.com/gamemaker/studio2

-

So those are my picks for high-quality game designing programs for beginners. It’s tough finding good software that’s free, actually it’s almost impossible. But, if you do pay the money to get a nice program and put in the hard work and dedication necessary to create and sell your game, the software should pay for itself! 

Alternatively, you can find online tools designed for schools and colleges that allow you to make small games, usually for free. I’ve seen a few and they’re pretty good if you’re just starting out and you want to learn how to make games. Try Googling “free online game maker” and see what you find!

Yikes those are just a few of your options for programming. Don’t even get me started on art and music software!!

Sorry this turned out so long, I wanted to be as helpful as possible. (I think I went a little overboard… whoops)

Let me know if you have any questions!

#this took me like 2 hours to write lol i need to stop doing this #im so sorry this is so long xD asdfghjkl #Anonymous #eddsworldarmageddon asks