#sorry i had to change a couple of the scenes up for aesthetic reasons but i hope it's still okay <3

[neowinestainedress]

our gentle sin ; jeong jaehyun

title: our gente sin | final part of amami ancora

pairing(s): jeong jaehyun x oc | side members: lee donghyuck, lee taeyong, kim doyoung, lee mark, nakamoto yuta, huang renjun, qian kun / mentioned: na jaemin, lee jeno

genre: royal au, parents au, established relationship, smut, fluff, 

warnings: smut, unprotected sex, fingering, public sex, rough sex, dirty talk, religious language and imaginary in a pretty blasphemous way in one scene, worshipping, praise kink, oral sex (f receiving), breeding kink, switch!jaehyun, switch!oc (tbh they don’t really have dom/sub dynamics but there’s some power play, so I put it like this), pregnancy sex, breast play, minor lactation kink | minor character death, minor mentions of antepartum depression

summary: an unexpected meeting leads to an unexpected proposal. It takes just one decision to change forever the ending of their story. Can they grasp both love and power, or will they lose everything they fought hard to get? Will they rise from the ashes of their past like a phoenix, or will they stain their reputation with sin even more?

word count: 51.730

taglist: @adorejaehyn​ @pinkyzae​ @hopefulchick

a/n: so here we are with the last part (for real this time) of amami ancora. I had a request asking for some more and I admit I’m not sure it’s what they wanted but I couldn’t find the motivation to write plotless scenes, so I gave their story a twist. I’m sorry for the anon that wanted a background story for the other members but I couldn’t come up with much. Maybe, just maybe, I’ll write some spin-offs about them after this, but I can’t promise anything. I wrote this mostly for myself because the main reason why at the start I didn’t want to write a sequel for amami ancora and I made it end that way, was because I wanted Scarlett to don’t give up her throne, but I guess you can choose this or part three to be ending that you want.  Also, keep in mind this has no intention to be accurate. I researched about how it used to work but it’s set in a fantasy world and in the future, so I changed a lot of things to my pleasure. I never planned for this story to come so far so I didn’t think about a true setting when I wrote the first part, it was just for the aesthetic of royalty and the illicit relationship between them. Let’s pretend everything’s realistic and possible.  Hope you’ll like it.

Scarlett sighed loudly before closing Eunbi’s bedroom door behind her. It was rather late, past eight, and she was alone at home. Eunbi was good, never complained about anything, but putting her to bed without her dad to the side was always a struggle. And now Jaehyun wasn’t home, and he wasn’t going to come home before three days. 

Moving to a new house was a big step, probably bigger than what they could’ve afforded, but they didn’t have much choice. Eunbi was growing, Johnny had moved out, so did Mark and Yuta, Taeyong and Doyoung needed their spaces, and so did they. Setting their own rhythms to raise her was necessary, not only for her but also for them as a couple. 

So here they were, in a small house, just a street away from the old one. It had just the essential rooms, and a small garden surrounding it. 

And even if it had been a year since they moved there and they were overall doing fine, Jaehyun had to start going abroad often to bring more money home. They weren’t struggling, but they still had a three-year-old baby to look after and bills to pay. 

Scarlett stretched her back, feeling exhausted after the long day, and then walked down the stairs, thinking about preparing some tea to cool off before trying to sleep too. 

But her plan for the night blew up. She almost felt her heart drop to the floor when she noticed that she wasn’t alone. Her lips quivered, trying hard to push out some words, and she felt so close to passing out when she realized who was standing in front of her.

“What – what are you doing here?” She asked as her eyes focused on the figure in front of her, hoping that her brain was messing with her, that she had completely gone insane. 

“It’s nice to see you again,” he smiled, standing up from the chair and walking toward her. “What a nice house you’ve built.” 

She felt trapped in her spot, terrified of what was coming next. She had spent the last three years – almost four – being sure, they were done with her. 

“I don’t know who you’re looking for,” she played dumb. She looked a little bit different from when she left, maybe he would’ve fallen for it. 

But it didn’t work. Donghyuck chuckled loudly and then shook his head. “I’m looking for you.” 

She sighed, getting that there was no point pretending anymore. “It’s been years, aren’t you married by now? Didn’t you move on?” 

“I’m not here for myself,” he started explaining, now standing in front of her. They were so close it almost felt uncomfortable. “Your father, His Grace, is dying.” 

She stared at him, not knowing what to say or what to do. She emitted a low huff while she tried to look for honesty behind his face and process the news. 

“I’m not coming back there for his funeral so you can finally have my head hanged on a wire.” 

“I don’t plan on killing you,” he said, completely serious. And looking at him, she almost dared to swear that nothing of that old Donghyuck she despised was there anymore. 

“How did you find me?” She asked, changing the topic of their conversation. She was more than sure she had hidden well, and if he knew, why he didn’t get to her before? Why wait so long? 

“I never believed in your death,” he shrugged, walking around, eyes wandering around the place as if this conversation was totally normal. Maybe he was still the same old Donghyuck she couldn’t stand. The one that didn’t take things seriously, the one that thought that everything was a game because power could fix everything with no consequences. “But I guess it was easier to declare it than to come to look for you wherever you were. You know, in the little time we spent together, I think I got to know you. You would’ve never let anything stop you, not even death. You could’ve easily killed yourself in the castle, but you did not.” 

She snickered, eyes rolling up to the sky, he was still a pretentious brat… but he was also right. “Then why you didn’t tell my father? I don’t think he knows me that much.” 

Donghyuck stilled, and turned around to look at her, “It was easier. I would haven’t been able to reign, to wield so much power.”

She raised a brow, truly not understanding his point, “What do you want then?” 

“I want you to come back and reign. Your mother is shattered by your loss, and soon the one of the King, I’m sure she won’t be able to take it.” 

She snorted, staring at him in disbelief, and then said, “Take the reign.” 

“I could, truthfully, that’s what your father wants but I think it is fair to give you another chance. I grew to understand what loving blindly means, and I must admit I do understand you.” 

She shook her head, walking around him, getting closer to the front door, hoping he would follow, but he stood right where he was. “No, you don’t. You have no idea what I felt when you started treating me like a mere trade commodity while I was carrying the child of my only love, knowing he was gone without a goodbye.” 

Donghyuck nodded, wetting his lips swiftly before speaking, “I am sorry, deeply. I was a dumb boy blinded by success. Trust me, I could easily grab everything your parents will leave behind and have the biggest reign on the land, but I want you to have everything that is rightfully yours.” 

“And what assures me that now that you finally found me, you don’t want to give me the justice you want and surely, also crave for?” 

“I have a wife; I now know what love means. I am a father, too. Blind revenge would only stain my honour and pride as a man of high ideals.”

“I can’t,” she replied, drifting the gaze from him. Because his words sounded genuine and also tempting, she missed home like crazy sometimes, and it wasn’t for the material things. It was for her mother, her handmaids, for all the years of her life she had spent in anticipation of a future that never came. “I’m… I’m a mother, and I can’t even think about raising my child how I was raised. I have friends, I have a job, I have love and I’m happy.” 

“I understand,” he said. “However, if you’ll change your mind, here’s an invitation to the first ball of the season. It’s special, they will lead you to me directly.” 

“You really think I trust you? You think I’d come back there after running away? You think I’d let you take all the happiness I created away from me so easily?” She said even if she knew that in the depths of her heart, those words were partially a lie. He had changed; it was clear as the sky that he wasn’t the selfish Prince she was bound to marry, but she still had other duties, other things and people she held dear to her heart.

“I do not mean to trap you,” he said, once again, serious and composed. “Read the journals, hear the rumors, the King is dying, and I have little to no interest to deal with two reigns like this.” 

“Wouldn’t it have been the same if I had married you?” 

“No, if I had married you, I would’ve loved to love that land, and its flowers, and its people, but I’ve only come to hate it. No offense, but your father’s not so good at dealing with things, and everything I thought was gold, turned out to be the one of the fools.” 

She knew it was in fact true; her father completely lost track of things in the last years, but she wasn’t so sure she could trust him. This wasn’t only about her, not anymore, it would’ve dragged Jaehyun and Eunbi in it too, and she couldn’t do that. 

“I know our relationship started in the worst way. I know I backstabbed you, and I can only imagine how hard it must be for you to trust me, but please, at least think about it. Your country will fall into foreign hands if you don’t come back, and so will the people you care about that you left there,” he added before walking over to her and opening the door. “I always admired you, and if I came back here, started to search you desperately one year ago behind the King’s back, it’s because I know how much you’re worth, and I believe in it. You were meant to be a Queen.” 

When he closed the door without giving her the chance to talk back, she had to lean against the closest wall to start breathing again. She closed her eyes, feeling hot tears start rolling out, and she immediately wiped them away. Her hands clutched the letter tighter, feeling her skin burn when her fingers grazed the wax stamp with the symbol of her family on it and walked to the kitchen, pushing the paper to the back of a random drawer. 

That was most likely a trap. 

She tried to convince herself. 

He simply couldn’t kidnap her, or it would’ve drawn a scandal, so he wanted to make it look as if she was turning herself in. 

She wasn’t going to come back. 

As the day went by, she tried to push that conversation out of her mind. Focusing on her job and Eunbi luckily was enough to keep her mind off of it.

But when Jaehyun came back, it was harder to hide it. It was like he knew something was off, always creeping deep and studying her closely.

“Are you okay?” He kept asking her every time he had the chance, just like right now, they were sitting on the couch watching a movie while Eunbi was playing on the floor with some toys. 

She nodded, lips sealed together, as she shifted closer to him. No, she wasn’t okay. She couldn’t scroll the idea of what Donghyuck had told her out of her mind, but at the same time, moments like this reminded her that, if his words were honest, life in the royal palace was going to be completely different. She still had all the tight rules marked on the back of her brain for how long she had to repeat them when she was a child to know how to behave in high society. And as she looked at her daughter play, so wild and free, she wondered if she could ever do something like this to her. 

“I can take some days off to look after her,” Jaehyun proposed, right hand caressing her shoulder over the fabric of the dress she was wearing. 

“No, it’s not her,” she admitted after taking a long breath. “I’m fine, don’t worry.” 

Jaehyun hummed, deciding to leave it there, and then his head fell on top of hers, inhaling her scent deeply. And even if she couldn’t see him, she knew he had his eyes closed and a smile on his face. 

And she wondered if she could ever give up this for something else. She had never seen her parents be so intimate. She had never seen her father get lost in the scent of her mother. She had never seen them hold hands or lay on the couch together as she played in front of them. And she wondered if it was a problem of their marriage or something that came with their life. Have they ever been in love? Or was that lifestyle that made them drift away? 

But one thing she knew for sure, was that she didn’t want to lose Jaehyun or Eunbi. She didn’t fight so hard to have them both, just to lose them again to run after something that was so… superficial. 

So, she searched for his hand and dragged it over her waist, making their fingers intertwine while her attention was focused on the little girl that was playing teatime with a doll and a teddy bear on the floor. 

No, she couldn’t lose all of this. 

She was also more than sure to keep it a secret from him. Jaehyun tended to get quite apprehensive, and there was no need to make him panic about something stupid. But so caught up in everything, she had forgotten she never got rid of the invitation. 

And that Friday night, when it was usual for the boys to come over to have dinner together like they were used to when they lived together, Jaehyun found it out while he was going through the drawers to look for something. 

“Where is the –” he screamed from the kitchen before a weird paper caught his attention. A letter? What was a letter doing there? They didn’t keep documents there. He furrowed and then grabbed it, turning it around to study it, and his eyes widened when he saw the stamp that sealed the flap. “An invitation from the royal palace? The royal palace of your reign? For the first ball of the season?” Jaehyun asked, lifting the beige envelope in the air as he walked out of the room and stared at Scarlett that was holding Eunbi’s hand next to the table to help her sit. 

Scarlett froze on the spot and didn’t lift her head to look at him. “Leave it there, you might as well just throw it,” she said, lifting Eunbi and sitting her on the highchair, waiting for everyone to reach the table, hoping he would listen and pay it no mind.  

“Did you receive it too?” He asked the others, still holding the paper in hand. 

“Jaehyun, please,” she whispered, walking to him to take it from his hand but he lifted his arm up. 

“No,” he replied, voice stern as he pushed down the bitterness. She knew about this. Why would she keep this a secret? “Where did you get this, Scarlett?” 

She sighed, “Donghyuck…” she whispered, drifting her gaze from him and wrapping her arms around her body, hands rubbing against the exposed skin of her arms. 

“Are you joking?” 

She shook her head, swallowing hard.

“He knows where you are?” His voice almost broke coming out, more than sad now that she didn’t tell him. “He knows where we are!” 

“I had just put her to sleep for the night and when I came downstairs, he was there, sitting at the table.” 

“He entered our place, and you didn’t tell me anything?” 

“Jaehyun, please,” she begged, not in the mood to fight in front of everybody. 

“Please, what? He’s the reason I didn’t get to see our child grow inside of you, he’s the reason I had to leave you without a word, he’s the reason we’ve been through so much hell.” 

“I know, but he found me, and he…” 

“He?” He urged her to talk, what was there more to hide? 

“He wants me to go back…” she confessed in a whisper, so low that he could barely hear, and the others could only guess what she had said by Jaehyun’s expression, hurt, bitter, and even scared. 

Jaehyun scoffed, looking at his friends to see if he had imagined those words to come from her mouth or if he heard right but the others’ gazes weren’t on them, trying to act as if they weren’t interested in the matter.  

“This is a joke, right? He came here, asked you to go back there, he knows where you live, where we live and the idea of telling me didn’t even cross your mind? I could go to bed tonight and some soldiers will slam through the door and take you and Eunbi away from me again and you didn’t tell me!” 

“My father’s dying,” she snapped. “My… he’s dying and my mother too, she’s… she’s heartbroken because of me and him and I’m sorry. I don’t want to go back there but I thought that pushing it out of my mind would help me carry on without the heavy thought of them leaving.” 

Jaehyun blinked twice, trying to convince himself this was all a dream, but when his eyes opened again and met Scarlett’s face, he realized it wasn’t. “I thought you hated him.” 

“I do. But my mom, she’s… she loved me. Despite him, despite how disappointed he was of me, despite me being the reason he didn’t love her anymore. I was her greatest joy, her biggest happiness, and only now I can imagine what it must be like to be deprived of the very being you love the most,” she said, briefly looking at Eunbi, feeling her heart clench at the mere idea of having to lose her for whatever reason. She didn’t want to think about what her mother must’ve been through, and she felt so guilty now. Only now able to understand that nothing could come close to the loss of a child, no matter how grown they are. 

Jaehyun sighed, glancing at Eunbi that was mindlessly playing with Taeyong’s hand, and then brought his attention back to Scarlett. 

Another sigh left his lips while his mind was running a thousand miles per hour. But that wasn’t the place to discuss it, he just wanted to put his heart at ease, and then they would’ve started again tonight, alone, in their bedroom, without bothering the others and the baby. “Do you want to go back?” He simply asked, hoping that the words coming out of her mouth were going to be negative. 

She sniffled, “No, I don’t plan to. And I didn’t mean to keep it a secret, I’m sorry.” 

He nodded, pulling her into a hug. “Don’t worry,” he reassured her. He knew that leaving everything behind had been harder than she wanted to admit, she never talked about her past for a reason, and it wasn’t because she was afraid, but because it was part of her. “Should we eat now?” 

The dinner went on smoothly as they talked about their future plans. How Johnny and his girlfriend, Juliet, were to get married. How Mark felt he had a special connection with kids and was ready to have one – resulting in making everybody laugh. Or how Yuta thought that he needed to travel the world and see more than just these lands. 

But when the conversation fell on them, Doyoung spoke before they could. 

“I think you should go back there, isn’t this what you’ve been taught for your entire life?” He said, obtaining a menacing gaze from Jaehyun who wanted to avoid that topic. 

Scarlett coughed, cleaned her face with the napkin, and then smiled shyly at her friend. “Yes, but I don’t think it’s what I want,” she replied, staring at the table before raising her gaze, “I have all of you, you taught me things all those years there didn’t teach me. You are like family to me, and I can’t leave you behind.” 

“We might come and meet you during special occasions,” Johnny proposed, shoulders lifting as if it was that easy.  

“It doesn’t work like this,” Jaehyun replied, suppressing the want to roll his eyes at their naivety. 

“I thought the princess was her not you?” 

He rolled his eyes, “I’ve been by her side for years, I’ve been trained hard to know how that world works. And it’s not for people like us, never been and never will be.” 

“Yeah, but you will be in command, and you two –”  

“She and her husband,” Jaehyun replied sternly, fit tightening against the table. “She will need to marry a respectable noble man from the high society and be the Queen. She will also need to find a Lord or a Prince that will accept the child of a love affair with her bodyguard outside of marriage.” 

“Yeah, if her father’s alive,” Doyoung said. “But when he’ll… mhh, perish, she will be in command. Does somebody care for these rules anyway?” 

“People might not care inside of the reign, Do, too worried about their own problems, bigger than to care for a sinful Queen, but it is a shameful act committed by me. I’ve been reckless and now I must pay the price. Even if I ruled, the other nobles, the Lords and Queens and Kings from other reigns will look down on me.” 

“For loving?” Johnny asked, nose turning up in a mix of disdain and surprise. Damn, so he was right about hating those kinds of people. 

“It’s not that easy,” Jaehyun replied. “It’s a world with set rules to follow and prejudice and gossip as fast as the wind.” 

“Nobody knows you were pregnant, though?” Mark said with a cheerful voice, happy as if he made the cleverest of affirmation. 

And both Jaehyun and Scarlett glared at him. “And what about her? Do I push her back inside and pretend she didn’t come out of there almost three years ago?” 

“Oh, right… Well, you could say she’s the Prince’s…” 

“I’m not going around pretending our child is somebody else’s,” Jaehyun cut him off, glaring at him, mad he could even think about something like that. 

“I won’t go back, anyway,” Scarlett reassured him, placing her hand on top of his, caressing it softly. 

“What if you proved yourself to be a valuable Queen?” 

“I don’t think this will be enough. I ran away, left my people behind when I was so close to marry for their sake and to bring new light in our country, faked my death, and… this is, unforgivable, for the high society and for the commoners.” 

“But you lived among commoners for years. You worked with us, you now know our struggles, more than any other ruler before. Wouldn’t it be enough?” 

She sighed, shaking her head, “It’s not that easy,” she replied, and then coughed, “Can we change the topic? What about you two? Are you still going to live in the old house?” 

When the night came and everybody went home, they finished cleaning up and then put Eunbi to bed. Nobody said a word about that again and Scarlett thought everybody pushed the thought out of their minds. 

But Jaehyun couldn’t stop thinking about it as he watched her clean the dishes at his side, as he watched her sing Eunbi a sweet lullaby, and even now that she was putting her hair in a loose braid after changing into her nightgown. 

He had seen her covered in gold. He had been by her side the few times she held public speeches. He had listened to her rants about how her father should’ve solved certain problems. 

He knew her, more than anybody else. Maybe even more than herself considering how much she pushed herself behind everything and everybody just to make others happy, often forgetting herself in the way. 

And the reason why she was pretending now, was them. Probably terrified of losing them again or losing what they had. Because he knew she had always been honest when she said that she loved this even if they had nothing, even if it meant sharing the place with five other people, even if it meant that some days they had to work longer to bring more money home and they couldn’t afford many luxuries. She loved this, but she also loved that. And he was wondering if the key to everything was them, or if it was all meant to fall down if they stopped being what they were now. 

“Is that what you wish for?” Jaehyun asked, standing near the window, eyes shifting from the city to her. 

“What?” She asked, twisting the braid into a bun and clipping the hair to keep them still while she walked toward their bed. 

“To go back there.” 

“Are you still mad?” 

“I asked you a simple question, Scarlett,” he sighed, walking to sit next to her. “Is that what you wish for?” 

“I – I don’t wish for it,” she replied, voice shaking. And once again she didn’t hold eye contact with him for more than two seconds.  

“You do.” 

“What? You can’t ask me a question and then be against my answer.” 

“I know you. I know how dearly you cared about that world. I know how badly you wanted to be a different Queen compared to your father. I was there by your side when you walked between the people, your people, with the only desire to offer them hope and change for the future. I was there when you spent hours practicing how to host parties, how cheerfully you would chat with your ladies insisting on helping them, excited about everything. I know how much this costs you. I know how much you lost for me and Eunbi. I was the one who told you that you deserved to reign, to be the Queen, to hold the power that always belonged to you.” 

She tried to push back the tears because he was right; that was what she wanted but in the past. In another life, if that didn’t mean losing the two people that made her the absolute happiest. 

“But I’m also happy now,” she replied, it was the truth, she was happy. “We won’t be able to take care of Eunbi as we do now, she’ll be sent to caretakers, and she’ll have lessons and…” 

“Just like she soon should’ve started going to school?” 

“But I love this place, I love the boys, and I love the way I can just feel normal.” 

“But that belongs to you. Maybe Johnny’s right, if Donghyuck’s not mad anymore you may have relations with him to help with external politics and then nobody would dare to say a word about their Queen. I know that for you it had never been about the high society anyway, but I know how you wanted to make it right for your people. And they’ll love a Queen like you. You could completely turn all the rules over, you already did, so why not do it now? Shock them even more, show them how strong—willed you are, how much passion you put into what you love.” 

“Why are you pushing me in this?” 

“Because I know your potential. Because as somebody that grew up poor and spent more than half of his life in the streets I would count on you, I know I’d be in good hands. Because I never believed it was fair for you to choose between love and power. I told you countless times, and now, you can have both. Your father won’t decide for you, you will decide for yourself.” 

She sighed, it was tempting, it was all she had worked hard on but… “What if the Prince’s not being honest? What if this is all a sick plan to get to me?” 

“Is there not a way to test it? I mean, he’s married now, happily even, or it seems so, he has a son of his own, why would he still come between us?” 

She nodded, and her mind replayed the conversation she had with Donghyuck, he did seem honest. But then she stared at Jaehyun, this wasn’t just about her, but their family, and him. He never loved that world much, she knew he was only interested in her endless talks because she was talking. And she didn’t want him to force himself into this. They were doing fine, they could’ve pretended Donghyuck never found her, and that letter never arrived. “What made you change your mind?” 

“I told you, Scar.” 

“I’m not sure that’s the life for me anymore. I don’t even remember what my duties would have to be like, it’s… too much.” 

“But you’ll have me by your side, and Eunbi. Didn’t you say you were your mother’s strength? Why can’t we be yours? I don’t want to force you, but you did want to rule and by yourself. So what’s different now?” 

“I spent three years away from there, I don’t even remember all the etiquette rules I have to follow.” 

“Then screw them. Be revolutionary, be the people’s Queen. Be like them, not like the ton that would judge you. Be the Queen you always wanted to be, the Princess you’ve always been. People loved you, and I’m sure there’s still a place for them in your heart.” 

“But what if I let them down?” 

“How could you? You have a heart beating inside your chest, unlike your father, that was what was missing. If you want to get back what it’s owed to you, just go for it.” 

“But if I do, I want the boys to come with us. I want them to have honorary titles. I want Renjun to be the best tailor in town, finally not being paid dust anymore. I want Johnny, Mark, Yuta, and Jeno to take care of all the crown jewels and I want Taeyong and Jaemin to have the biggest bakery ever existed.” 

“As you wish, my Queen. I doubt anyone could stop you.” 

She chuckled at the title, but then turned serious again and stared at him deeply in the eyes, holding his hands in hers, “And I want you to be my King.” 

Jaehyun scanned her face, brain trying to process her words and understand if they were a joke or not. “Is this…?” 

“A proposal, yes.” 

“Are you proposing to me? Like this? In this bed?” 

“Yes,” she smiled. “Jeong Jaehyun, Lord of my heart and soul, would you accept to become my husband?” 

Just when he was about the answer, the door opened, a sleepy Eunbi was standing next to it before walking inside. “Mama, Papa,” Eunbi mumbled, fist tight around her favourite blanket that now was just a bit more than a napkin, “I can’t sleep.”

“Oh, look who’s here,” Jaehyun cooed, watching as she ran to them before lifting her up in his arms, “just in time to help me with a big question.” 

“Me?” She asked, looking between her parents, index finger pressed against her chest. 

“Yep, my Princess,” he smiled. “Should I marry Mama?” 

“Marry?” She asked, clearly confused. 

A soft chuckle left their mouths, “Have you ever seen those big white events? The flowers, the tall cakes, the balls.” 

She nodded, lower lip trapped into her teeth, “Yes! You want to marry Mama?” 

“I asked him to marry him, Mama’s waiting for an answer.” 

“Say yes! Say yes! Please!” She begged, happily jumping up and down in Jaehyun’s hold. “I want to be a princess for a day.” 

They looked at each other, smiling tenderly. “I’d be delighted to be your husband, Queen Scarlett,” he replied, kissing her as Eunbi let out happy squeals, not knowing that soon, she was going to be a princess for real. 

“I’m so nervous,” Scarlett whispered, holding Jaehyun’s hand in her right hand and Eunbi’s in the left. 

“It’ll be fine,” he reassured her before leaning toward and glimpsing at Eunbi, that was looking around in awe. “She seems quite excited, instead,” he chuckled, and she smiled after briefly glancing at the kid.

“Yeah, I was like her too the first time they let me walk these corridors,” she mumbled, trying to keep her composure and don’t let panic take over, but she still couldn’t put her heart at ease. Everything went fine for now, they arrived at the palace for a while now and they were waiting for Donghyuck to welcome them. They had arrived from the back of the palace, and only a few people saw them, mostly the guards and some maids that were walking in the corridors, hurrying to their rooms for their duties.

“Oh, why did they leave you here… the three of you?” Donghyuck opened the door, gaze moving back and forth between them, surprised to see them all. “Come in,” he said, letting them inside the hall of the first floor, leaving the garden and the arcades behind. 

“Thank you for having us,” she said, bowing slightly at him. 

“Well, technically this is your place, not mine,” he replied, walking toward the King’s chamber. 

“Wait, I have to see him right now?” She asked as soon as she realized the direction they were taking. She thought she was going to see her mother first, or he was going to make them settle for a while in her old room. 

He turned around, looking at her, “he’s dying. I thought you wanted to have one last word with him.” 

“Is it serious this time or is it just like when he wanted to run away from his responsibilities?” 

“It is serious. This might be your last chance.” 

She turned around, looking at Jaehyun and Eunbi, eyes communicating with him with silent words. 

“Go, I’ll wait here with her,” he reassured her. “There are many paintings on the walls that I can show her.”  

“No,” she said, “you two are coming with me. I want to show him that nothing, not even his wickedness, could stop me from loving you.” 

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Donghyuck chimed, still standing next to the door, hands behind his back and head high.  

She looked at him, not convinced of leaving them alone, but left with no other option, “if you hurt them, I’ll do the same to you.” 

“You still think I’ll betray you?” 

“Sorry if I can’t trust anybody here,” she said, opening the door ajar, but she stopped and turned around. “But I do want you to come in after. I want him to see that he couldn’t take away my happiness from me.”

When she stepped inside, the room was dark, only lit up by a dim lamp next to the bed. And her father was laying in the bed, sleeping, or seemingly so. She walked closer slowly, feeling her heart twist in her chest. No matter the hatred she felt for him in her heart, seeing him in those conditions after so many years still shocked her. There was nothing of the man she knew, just a hollow face, grey hair, and broken brown eyes. And he was all alone. Maybe what he deserved for all the pain he had caused people over the years.  

“Sca—Scarlett…” he mumbled, opening his eyes fully. “No, this can’t – it can’t be,” he huffed, chest panting heavily, struggling in his place, trying to drift further from her but with no strength anymore. “Are you a ghost? Are you here to haunt my last breaths?” 

“I am very much real, father,” she replied, not feeling a hint of compassion run in her veins. “I came back to take what I’m owed, my reign, my crown, my throne.” 

“I – I thought – you were dead,” he breathed out between coughs.  

“Surprise, I guess,” she joked, laughing coldly and shrugging. “Even if you wanted me dead so bad, I’m not.” 

“I – never wanted you dead,” he retorted, voice low and broken.  

“Right, you simply never wanted me. You wanted a boy, a boy you could raise as King, as the perfect heir my mother never could give you because she almost died giving birth to me. This is why you stopped loving her, this is why you never, not even once, looked at me with a glimpse of love or pride in your eyes no matter how perfect of an heir I was.” 

“You put shame on me.” 

“You put shame on yourself. You were the worst King that ever ruled over this reign, focusing on superficial matters instead of serious ones. What is most shameful? Love or greed?” 

“You know nothing,” he coughed, “about what you’re talking about. You can’t come back here and put more dishonour on our family.” 

She rolled her eyes, chuckling at his words. “And why? As if you’ll be here to see it, anyway. And if it won’t be me, it will be Donghyuck that, trust me, doesn’t care about this piece of land as much as he probably made you believe.” 

“He never loved you.” 

“I don’t truly care about that. I have love. The love of my life.” 

A mocking laugh rolled out of his lips, “still attached to that bodyguard buried six feet underground?” 

She snickered and then turned around, walking toward the door. And when she came back with Jaehyun and Eunbi by her side, her father almost felt his heart give up once and for all. 

“Are you talking about the next King and Princess?” 

The King felt his heart lose another beat when his gaze landed on the man in front of him and the child he was holding in his arms; the proof of the scandal that happened between them and stained their family forever. He truly believed Jaehyun was dead, that thought made him sleep at night, putting aside the need to kill him with his own hands. But he was alive, and so was his daughter and the child that was just another mistake, and he had no strength to get rid of him, or them. “He cannot be the King.” 

“Are you sure? You will not be here anyway; I do not need your blessing for this marriage.” 

“Your mother will never let you marry him, nor will Donghyuck or anybody else. Aren’t you ashamed?” 

“Aren’t you ashamed of yourself? Of never being a father to me? Jaehyun might not have royal blood in his veins but trust me, he is a better father than you’ve ever been. Eunbi has the love I’ve never, ever, received in my entire life. Not from you, at least. He is a man of honour and values, he knows the court rules, and he has always been by my side, never putting me or my intellect and my will down. He will be the best King that could ever stand beside me, and you will be in your grave with a heavy heart, full of bitterness and regret and anger, furious about my choices once again. But I’ll prove your ghost wrong. I’ll prove to you I can, and I will be better than you. This is my vow to you.” 

“You – you won’t.” 

“I will. This is a promise, an oath. And weren’t you the one telling me to always be true to what you promise?” 

When his father tried to retort once again and his voice struggled to come out, she grabbed Jaehyun’s hand and said, “let’s go,” before spinning on her heels.  

“Scarlett!” Her father shouted but she was already out of the door, feeling her heart beating faster than usual. 

“Mama,” Eunbi called, a worried expression on her little face. 

“Hey, baby,” she replied, lifting her head to stare at her. “I’m fine, Mama’s fine.” 

“You don’t seem to be,” Donghyuck said, standing next to them. 

“I want to see my mother,” she changed the topic after grabbing Eunbi from Jaehyun’s arms. “I want her to know she’s not alone anymore.” 

“Sure. I think she will be happy to see you again.” 

“What happened there?” Jaehyun whispered close to Scarlett’s ear when they started walking toward the morning room where her mother was staying. 

“The usual for him, the only thing he can do when it comes to me, my life and my choices.” 

“Pretty,” Eunbi exclaimed, staring at the paintings on the walls, index finger pointing at them. 

“Yeah, do you like it here?” 

She hummed as her head kept moving around to don’t lose a single frame on the wall. 

“Well, at least she’s happy,” Scarlett noted, intertwining her fingers with Jaehyun to search for some kind of comfort. She didn’t want to regret this, but facing her father was harder than she imagined. 

“It’s going to be alright,” he said, holding her hand tighter, leaving a small peck on her forehead and she smiled, squeezing his hand back. 

“Here we are,” after a few moments they arrived in front of the big room, “let me go in first,” Donghyuck said, opening the door. “Your Majesty,” he greeted, bowing politely. “There’s a special guest, well, three special guests that would like to see you.” 

“Oh, dear, could you please send them away? I do not wish to see anybody right now.” 

Donghyuck sighed, briefly looking back at Scarlett that was tightly holding the baby in her arms, silently imploring him to convince her to let them in. 

“Your Majesty, I’m sure you would be delighted to meet them. They are very dear to you.” 

The Queen chuckled bitterly, probably mixed with a choked sob, “I lost what I had dearer to me three years ago all because of that vile man and… I’m sure nobody can fill that hole left in my chest.” 

Hearing her words, Scarlett pushed Donghyuck to the side and entered the room, the Queens’ guards immediately cornered her. 

“Mother,” she said, looking at her through the swords in front of her. 

“Oh my,” the woman mumbled, covering her open mouth with her hand and standing up, legs shaking, incredulously looking at her, just like everyone else in the room did. 

“Her Highness, lady Scarlett,” the handmaids mumbled in whispers, looking at each other curiously to make sure none of them was imagining things. 

“You died,” the Queen cried, walking toward her, waving the guards away. “You… you.” 

“I’m here, mother. I’m safe and sound, always have been.” 

Her mother broke down crying, knees giving up, falling to the floor. Scarlett kneeled too, letting Eunbi stand on the floor, staring at the scene with curios, confused eyes. “The pain I felt all these years knowing you were gone without saying a word. Disappeared, killed by the waters as your father kept telling me half—truths and hiding what truly happened from me. The hollow I felt in my chest every time I passed by your chamber and you simply weren’t there, or when I had to host balls without you by my side. It’s a pain I wish for you to never feel, my dear,” she mumbled in the hug, a moment so intimate, so rare to see in the royal court. And Donghyuck swiftly ordered everybody to leave the room to talk to them and warn them to keep it a secret until things weren’t official. 

“I’m here, mother. And I am so sorry for all the pain I put you through, but I had to. They left me no other choice.” She helped her stand up, fixing the dress and then looking down when she saw a little hand touch the pearls on the gown. 

“Eunbi, don’t. It’s rude,” Scarlett scolded her that looked up in surprise. 

“But it’s pretty,” she whispered, unwillingly removing her hand from the fabric. 

“Oh, she’s your daughter? So, it was true? That’s why he urged to move the marriage?” 

Scarlett nodded and then stretched her hand back to signal Jaehyun to move closer. He didn’t have to stand behind them anymore, that was in the past. 

“Eunbi,” she called once again when she tried to climb on the sofa to see the tea pottery. 

“Oh, please, let her,” the Queen said in a light tone. “She’s just like you.” 

“Yeah, I guess we can agree on that. She’s very nice, just curious. I think it’s because of all the stimulation she gets from her uncles. They carry her everywhere, she’s wild.” 

“Uncles?” The older woman asked, turning back around, only now focusing on Jaehyun. “You... you are back? You already picked a bodyguard again?” 

Jaehyun coughed and Scarlett chuckled. “If I told you I need your blessing for a wedding?” 

“Sure, but with who? We should do all that again and,” she stopped, her stare finally falling where Jaehyun and Scarlett’s hands intertwined, and then she looked back at Eunbi that was sitting on the sofa, turning a golden spoon in her little hands. “You two? You had to run away because she is your daughter? I thought your father was simply mad because you consumed before the wedding with Prince Lee but you, oh…” 

“Mother, I know, but you can’t control love, can you? Your father too was against you and the King, but in the end, you married him anyway. We love each other, a bond so strong I know I’ll never feel it with anybody else. And Jaehyun’s so valuable, you know him. He was only twenty when you and the King decided to take him to court because you trusted his abilities and his morals, and you put my life in his hands. You saw him walking these halls and act no worse than any other nobleman with a title. You loved him back then, and so did every other lady from the ton. People thought he was a Prince from a faraway land for the way he carried himself, and for his composure, his way with words, and his intellect. He is the best man that could ever stay by my side in this.” 

Her mother smiled, holding back a smirk. “You sacrificed everything for your family, and you think I still need to hear all of this to give you my blessings? You think that as a mother I didn’t see the way you two looked at each other, dear? I couldn’t swear there was something going on, but the level of trust and friendship you had was far beyond a working relationship. Though, I must say, I believed you two would be able to put the flame down, especially you, Jaehyun.” 

“It was my fault,” she chimed in. “He always tried to respect the limits between us, but I couldn’t and eventually he gave in. But you’re not mad, right?” 

She chuckled, “Mad? And for what? Because you found love? Because you bloomed into an amazing, brilliant woman who fights for what she wants? I truly loved your father, dear, but I would’ve never done what you did for him and her. How could I come between a love so strong if not even the Gods above did?” 

They both smiled, looking at each other, and then looking at Eunbi... or where she was before. “Where is she now?” Scarlett almost screamed, panicking when she saw she wasn’t on the sofa anymore. 

“Book!” Eunbi screamed on the other side of the room where the small library was. 

“Yes, baby, a book, so many books but you can’t read them yet,” she reminded her, walking toward her with hurried steps. Walking was a blessing and a curse at the same time with her. Scarlett had hoped that she was going to stop being so active, but nothing changed over the years.  

“Johnny teaches me,” Eunbi complained, standing on her tippy toes, trying to grab one. 

“Yeah, but those are books for you.” 

“Does she know how to read?” The Queen asked Jaehyun as they stared at the scene in front of them. 

“A little bit, not full phrases but she occasionally can guess some easy words.” 

“Well, that’s impressive for her age.” 

“It is, but she mostly enjoys hearing those stories. Taeyong and Johnny love reading them to her.” 

“I feel like I’m missing something,” the Queen chuckled, feeling her head getting dizzier and dizzier with everything they said to her. 

“Oh, yeah, at the start we used to live with some friends of mine. They are her uncles.” 

The Queen was about to ask for more, wanting to catch up on how they lived during those years away, but Scarlett preceded her. 

“About them,” Scarlett chimed in after finally finding an old book with drawings to keep Eunbi occupied. “I would need another favour, Mother.” 

“Everything for you, dear,” she reassured her, holding her hand. “We should also celebrate to have you back.” 

The King’s chamber was quiet, with the guards standing straight at every corner. Not that they were needed anymore. Death didn’t knock on the King’s door through criminal hands, She gently walked in and decided to take him with Her. 

Slowly and painful. For him, at least. 

Because right now that Scarlett was standing at the feet of his bed, looking up and down at him, just like he had always looked at her, she felt an unexpected, thrilling pleasure rush through her bones. Somehow that felt to be exactly his place. 

That was the end he deserved, in her dreams with only fewer people mourning for him. 

She looked around and saw the ladies and noblemen shedding tears, and she chuckled lightly before turning back and siding next to Jaehyun. 

“You don’t seem sad,” he whispered, looking at her, the black veil shielding her face from being seen, the only sign of mourn she carried around along with her black dress and black gloves. 

“He didn’t mourn for me when I died,” she replied, crossing her arms while her eyes scanned the room, landing on her mother’s hand tightened around the King’s one, his hold weak; it was just a matter of seconds. And she wondered if her mother still loved him. She wondered how her mother could still love him, or feel any ounce of compassion and empathy for a being like him. She wouldn’t have held Jaehyun’s hand on his death bed if he only dared to treat Eunbi how her father treated her. If he did, she probably would’ve been the very reason why Jaehyun would’ve been on that bed. And yet, her mother was there, at his side until his last breath. Nevertheless, she had no idea if it was to keep up to the oaths on their wedding day and what the ton expected from her, or if it was her heart begging her to once again kneel beside a man that wasn’t worth it. 

“We can leave if you want to,” Jaehyun whispered, hoping for a yes because he didn’t want to stay there longer, but Scarlett shook her head. 

“I want to stay,” she answered, shrugging. “I don’t want to lose his last show. I’d very much love to be the last thing he sees before passing away only to make sure I will haunt his eternal suffering.” 

Jaehyun nodded, crossing his hands behind his back, studying the other people in the room. He too wondered how real their tears were, and how many of them had waited for this day to come, praying hard at night to the Saints and Gods. He wasn’t one of them, no matter how much he hated him, but now that death was seeping into the room, biding time before snatching the King’s soul away, he couldn’t help but feel relieved. 

And it seemed like death truly wanted to take Her sweet time, making him contort and cry in pain, playing with the clock that kept turning. Hours passed by before She finally snapped, grabbed Her axe and cut the string of his life, making him exhale one last breath, probably of relief, considering the pain of his last hours. 

And the smirk that curled Scarlett’s lips felt peculiarly cruel and bloody. Yet, she didn’t leave. She stayed there, watching people come and go, waiting for the maids to carry her mother’s body away from the dead one of her husband. 

And only once she was left alone, her feet dragged her close to the bed again, but this time at his side. 

A tender smile formed on her lips as her eyes scanned the relaxed, yet still pained expression on his face. “How much have I loved you, trying so hard to make you love me back,” she chuckled bitterly. “Only to think we could’ve had it all, if only you didn’t hate me so much for a stupid belief that women can’t be enough to reign,” she huffed, and then pushed the black veil out of her face, a grin on her lips, “It’s a shame you won’t see me in a crown.” 

“I can’t believe I’m at the royal palace, have you ever thought you would find yourself here?” Johnny exclaimed, trying to fit into the suit they were given to wear. 

“If the King wanted my head on a silver plate, maybe,” Yuta replied, hating the way the clothes hugged his body. “You wore those every day, man?” 

Jaehyun sighed, rolling his eyes, and then adjusting the buttons. “You can survive for just one night, maybe you’ll even find a Lady of your liking. If somebody can stand you.” 

“Yeah, and what kind of money do I offer her?” 

“The money you’ll be making to be the jewellery that creates the crown jewels,” Scarlett answered, entering the door. 

“Hey! What if we were naked?” Doyoung complained, covering his already covered body with his hands. 

“The first time you saw me, I was leg spread on the couch being split in two. I think we can say we left the concept of privacy far behind, also considering every single one of you have seen my boobs probably more than Jaehyun did.” 

“Fine,” he replied as the other chuckled under their breaths.

“Can we still court them if we’re not nobles? Wouldn’t they be looking out for somebody with a background family of some importance?” Yuta asked, going back to their conversation. 

“You don’t need a high society woman, Yuta. You wouldn’t last a second with someone raised like they are.” 

“I get along with you, you’re next to be Queen. How can I not get along with a Duchess?” 

“I am the last person you should compare to them,” she replied. “Also, get ready swiftly and put these badges on your coats.” 

“I thought you weren’t giving us honorary titles?” 

“It’s all up to you. My mom says she would be very glad to, but I suggested we could wait. Let all of you open your shops, do something for the society and then give you, and some other shoppers, a title. Or something like that.” 

“Is a title necessary? Doesn’t it come with a lot of responsibilities? I don’t think I want them,” Mark replied, looking at himself in the mirror, loving the way the expensive fabric felt on his skin. “We’re here, we won’t have to fight for fine materials anymore. And we’re best friends with the Queen and the King.” 

“Calm now,” Scarlett told him. “We’re not Queen and King yet. But yes, if you don’t want titles then we’re fine like this.” 

“Can we come to visit you even without that?” Taeyong asked. 

“You will see Eunbi, yes,” she replied, smiling at him. “Actually, I was thinking, we could find somebody else to help Jaemin with the bakery and you could be her main caretaker. I would feel much safer knowing she’s with you than anybody else. And also, you’re the only one that knows how to keep her calm.” 

“Are you serious? You want me to be there with her?” He stood up from his seat, eyes sparkling while he stared at her in surprise.

“Yeah, are you okay with —” 

“Yes! Yes, yes, yes, I want to,” he exclaimed, rushing to hold her in a tight hug.  

“This is so unfair, he will become her favourite soon,” Johnny whined. 

“Oh, please, she loves you. Also, when it’s the time you’ll have one yourself with Juilet?” 

“No, thanks. Watching other kids is fun, having one of your own is not. Juliet and I are perfectly fine like this.” 

She smiled and then said, “We should also plan for your wedding.” 

“You? I thought you became a Queen, not an event assistant.” 

“Shut up, I won’t plan it. But I’ll give you the palace for free and I could pick things with her.  Maybe even design her dress. I want to design mine, would it be a bad idea, Jaehyun?” 

“I think you should relax, is the wedding such an urge?” 

“Well, no, but also, yes.” 

“Are you once again thinking about what the ton will think? They know, we have a three years old baby running around the palace, she will be at our side during events. A wedding now won’t make us go back to being saints. And you also know damn well nobody crossing these halls is holy, married or not.” 

“I have a feeling he knew all the spicy things that happened back then,” Mark joked but agreed with him.

“Everybody knows them, they just make less rumours than us.” 

“Are you fine, dear?” The Queen asked, staring at her daughter’s face as the maid finished fixing Scarlett’s hair in a beautiful hairstyle. 

“Yeah, it’s just weird having so many people doing things for me again,” she confessed and one of the youngest handmaidens smiled at her through the mirror. 

“Your Highness, I know it shall not be my place, but I admire you so much,” she confessed, making her turn around in stupor. 

“Oh, and what for?” 

“The way you fought for love and then came back to save your reign and the people from falling into stranger’s hands. I’ve always known I could count on you when the throne was to be passed. I was truly saddened by the announcement of your passing, the whole town mourned you for days, we felt hopeless. But now, knowing that for years you had been one of us doesn’t make us feel so lonely anymore.” 

She smiled softly at her, “It is my duty, and I hope I will not let you down.” 

“I am sure you will not, Your Highness.” 

She beamed, and whispered, “You may call me Scarlett if you want to,” making them giggle and then walk back when the Queen glared at the three. 

“Your Highness, your daughter is giving us trouble falling asleep,” another maid entered the room, exhausted look on her face, or well, something more than exhausted.  

“Oh, I will come and see her.” 

“The jewels,” her mother called, pointing at the set of pearls that she still had to wear. 

“I’ll wear it later,” she replied, walking out of the room, not paying mind to her mother’s annoyed expression.  

“I’m sorry, but she keeps calling you and her father and she says she does not like us,” she explained, and Scarlett sighed before humming lowly. 

“She doesn’t mean it like that. We are used to spending some time together before bedtime, and she’s simply not used to you. I also think this place is so big it can get overwhelming for her.” 

The maid nodded and then opened the door of the nursery. “Eunbi, baby,” Scarlett cooed, walking to her as soon as she saw the state she was in, screaming and crying, sitting on a chair as other women were around her trying to calm her down. “Mama’s here,” she tranquillized her, lulling her in her arms. 

“Where were you?” She asked, trying to talk through the sniffles and sobs. 

“I was getting ready, little bird.” 

“I want to be with you and Papa,” she cried, clinging her small fist around her dress, afraid she was going to leave her again with people she didn’t like. They were all strangers and, as nice as they were, they weren’t her parents or her uncles and aunt.

Scarlett sighed, before looking at the maids that were shaking their heads, already imagining what she was proposing. 

“Why not?” 

“With all respect, my lady, but she’s a little too energetic. It’s the first ball of the season, the royal ball, and we are not allowed in the hall.” 

“That’s right,” she agreed, waving her hand, “you are dismissed, a night of rest, you must have your own things to do. Some cakes won’t be served tonight, you can go in the kitchen and eat them and have a party together or whatever.” 

“Your Highness, you shall take care of the guests tonight, you cannot think about the baby.” 

“I traveled two countries while I carried my baby. I gave birth in a home with just one doctor and my two dearest friends. I took care of a house and worked in a tailor shop while thinking of my baby, so I’m more than sure I can take care of her and some guests while hosting my ball.” 

“We didn’t mean to,” one of them started apologizing but she stopped them right away.  

“No need to apologize. But I don’t want you to think that she’s a weight for you. I put her in this world, and I will take care of her with her father. You are here to help if it’s needed, and I can assure you, right now, it’s not. Take care of yourself for tonight,” she said with a smile on her face, grabbing a bag with everything necessary to fix her for the night. “And I’m sure she’ll grow to love you, right, baby?” 

Eunbi nodded against her mom’s shoulder and then they walked out of the door, leaving the other women speechless. 

“If you wanted a fancy dress, you could’ve told me this afternoon,” Scarlett joked, walking toward her room again. 

Eunbi chuckled, “I wanted a lullaby, they don’t know how to sing.” Her nose turned up at the memory of one of them trying to sing to convince her to sleep, but nothing could come close to the sound of her father’s voice and her mother harmonizing together.  

Scarlett laughed, “Oh, you won’t get a lullaby but I’m sure grandma called the best orchestra in town to play for tonight. Would you like it anyway?” 

Eunbi nodded happily, clapping her hands while smiling brightly at the idea. She had no idea of what exactly was going on around her. She didn’t know why they didn’t live in their small house anymore and she had no idea for how long they were going to stay there, but she liked it. It was new, it was exciting, and it was full of sparkling things. 

“What is she doing here?” The Queen asked, eyes wide open after she blinked repeatedly to make sure she was seeing right. 

“Guess why? I think this will be her first public appearance.” 

“But Your Highness, she doesn’t have a proper dress, she doesn’t know how to behave,” a maid replied and then Queen nodded. 

“I have designed a dress that can fit for tonight, I’m glad I bought it with me when I packed. And I know that she’s joyful, but she is polite, she’s just three, let her be. I can take care of her.” 

“You are back in society after everything that happened, you know things can’t go wrong,” The Queen reminded her, walking toward her that was already changing Eunbi into the new dress. 

“It won’t go wrong, mother, please, trust me.” 

The Queen sighed and then stared at Eunbi that was actually letting her mother dress her up, closing the back of her baby blue dress, fitting perfectly the theme of the night. 

“You made it?” 

“What?” 

“The dress.” 

“Yeah, I worked in a tailoring, discovered I’m pretty good at it.” 

“Your Highness made it?” A maid asked curiously, and she nodded. “You sure are a rare gem, so gifted in every aspect.” 

“Oh, I am flattered, thank you.” 

“May we help you with her?” Another one asked, smiling politely at her. 

“Could you do her hair?” 

“Sure, we could give her the same style we gave you,” they replied. “You’ll look amazing.” 

“Yes, like Mama!” Eunbi chanted, looking at the two maids with a wide smile, making their hearts melt. 

“Should we walk to the vanity table, Princess?” They proposed to her, reaching out a hand which she grabbed immediately, walking to the table with small jumps, trying to climb on the chair alone, and succeeding soon. 

“Oh, you’re so strong, honey,” a maid praised, and she gifted her a smile full of pride. 

“Thank you, I work out,” she replied, leaning closer to the table amazed by the shiny object. 

“Do you?” A maid asked as they started to work on her hair, and she nodded.

“With uncle Johnny,” she explained cheerfully. “He’s stronger than me.” 

“And what do you do with him? Push—ups?” 

Scarlett chuckled, at ease that Eunbi seemed to be comfortable enough with them compared to the other maids.

“She’s a lot,” her mother said with a smirk on her face. “Be careful of uncomfortable questions she might ask tonight.” 

“I’m sure she will be more mesmerized by the lights and flowers and all the shiny things. She mostly loves to talk about the things that she knows, and she also has a vivid imagination, she might entertain people with her weird made—up stories.” 

The Queen chuckled, “She also has a heart of gold, you two did an amazing job raising her.” 

“I thought you were going to criticize me,” she giggled. 

“How can I? I wasn’t half as present for you as you are for her. I’m proud of you, Scarlett.” 

“What is she doing here?” Jaehyun asked, he was waiting behind the wooden door that led to the stairs of the main hall, fitted in his new suit, not the one of the bodyguard, but one made just for him.  

“Papa,” Eunbi screamed, running to Jaehyun, hugging his leg. 

“She was supposed to stay inside,” he said to Scarlett that just shrugged and reached his side. 

“She’s here,” she replied, running her hand over her corset, not used to wearing these types of clothes anymore. 

“Yeah, I can see.” 

“Papa,” she called, looking up at him, “two beautiful ladies made my hair.”  

“Styled, honey, they styled your hair,” he corrected. “And I see they did an amazing job, you look beautiful.”  

“Thank you, Dada. You look beautiful too.” He smiled at her, watching as she kept touching the pearls that decorated her hair, and then turned to Scarlett. 

“Is this a good idea?” 

“She was screaming like crazy, she doesn’t get along with her ladies.” 

“Oh, nice. Well, does she knows about Yong, yet?”

“Not, yet. I think we should tell her after she starts to get along with at least one of them,” she joked. “What if he can’t be here for other reasons? We won’t be able to always have free time to look after her,” she explained, making him hum in agreement, and then she kneeled to talk to her directly. 

“This is a very important night, honey. I know you’re not used to all of this, and I know this isn’t the life you expected to have but this is our reality now. We’ll meet so many people, welcoming us into the society again and,” she stopped, trying to form the words and Jaehyun kneeled next to her. 

“Just know that you have to smile at them, don’t make any bad remarks, and well, no jumping or running around.” 

“Okay, I’ll be good, like a princess, right? The one we see in the movie.” 

“Yeah, just like them.” 

“Scarlett, Jaehyun,” the Queen called them. “They are all here. I shall go first, and then I’ll invite you in. Are you ready?” 

They looked at each other and then nodded. 

When the trumpets played and the doors opened, Scarlett felt her heart drop for a second but Jaehyun’s hands intertwining with her made her relax for a moment. 

“It’ll be alright, love,” he whispered, straightening his back and looking forward. And she couldn’t help but smile back while also holding Eunbi’s little hand in hers. 

“Dear guests,” her mother chanted, “We’re very pleased to have you all here. This is surely not the first ball of the season we were expecting to host with the sudden, unexpected and saddening passing of the King. I am deeply sorrowful by the occurrence, but we must move on. We must celebrate life, new beginnings, and new comebacks. In the darkness of these past days, a newfound light shined on us and will shine on all of you. Brighter than ever before. I am delighted to let you know that this reign won’t fall into foreign hands. I am pleased to announce the return of the very honourable heir that this reign ever had. The future Queen and King of Havenglow.” 

The trumpets played again as the Queen stepped aside and people murmured, curios and thrilled just as surprised as they were. 

Scarlett tightened the hold around both of their hands and then they all stepped inside. 

The room went quiet immediately and for a moment she felt like passing out, regretting having accepted what Donghyuck proposed, not even finding him in the crowd, and feeling that having the people she loved the most at her side wasn’t enough. But then her father crossed her mind, that was what he wanted, to see her fall apart. So she smiled and straightened her back; that was what she was made for. 

“Good evening, everybody,” she greeted with a welcoming smile on her face. “I could repeat what the Queen said about the sad news about the parting of the King, but I do believe this night is not made to mourn the death but just as she said to celebrate life. I am very aware of the surprise on your faces and more so in your hearts. I disappeared and was declared dead, so surely seeing me here now, was the last thing any of you expected. Even more with a man and a child by my side. I am, in fact, also aware of all the rules I did not respect, of the sins, as most of you might want to call, I have committed. But I am also aware that none of us in this room is certainly a saint,” she chuckled, looking around, purposefully laying her gaze on the people she remembered sinned the most. “I do believe, however, that expecting perfection from human beings is quite an absurdity and I think we shall focus on the present good things that life has to offer, as wrong as they may seem. I do hope you won’t judge me for the love I gave and fought for, but I do hope you will trust me, knowing I will fight for my country just as much as I fought to be free of loving who I truly wanted and the child of what bonds us together. This new season will also bring new couples together and I hope you won’t let a rank come between you and the person you love. I know that darkness fell on this country a long time ago, even before my sudden department, even before the King’s illness. I am sure that I do have all the ability to take the throne and reign with the right strength and will to make the sun shine again and bring prosperity to our land. I hope you will not look back at my past with shame or judgment, but I hope you will carry me through the future that I have planned for all of us.” 

The room broke out into a wave of claps and cheers, and she finally breathed again before looking back at her mother that seemed rather surprised at the outcome of her first public speech. 

“May the ball begin,” she declared, waving a hand to the orchestra before turning around to reach the Queen and make their way down the stairs. 

“You are insane,” her mother whispered next to her, making her giggle lowly. 

“For being honest? Isn’t that what a Queen should do? If I hid something from them it would’ve made it worst.” 

“I guess the rhetoric classes came to be useful,” Jaehyun joked. “You were amazing.” 

“Thank you,” she whispered, still holding his hand tight. 

As soon as they reached the floor they were crowded with people politely bowing to them and asking for a talk. 

“Your Highness,” they bowed as she smiled back at them, nudging Jaehyun that was about to bow too, and holding back a laugh at how he surely wasn’t used to the reversed roles. 

“Lady Miyamoto, am I right?” 

“Yes, Your Highness, it’s an honour you still remember and it fills me with joy to know you are safe and back to lead our country.” 

“I’m glad to hear it, hope you can support me in this journey.” 

“Is she your child?” The lady then asked, looking at Eunbi that was busy glancing around. 

“She is,” Scarlett smiled at her. “She was actually supposed to be sleeping by now but what can I say, balls are tempting even at such a young age.” 

Lady Miyamoto smiled fondly at the kid that looked up at her and waved. “Hello,” Eunbi greeted, waving her hand. “Your dress is beautiful; lilac is my favourite colour.” 

“Oh,” the woman almost gasped, surprised at how chatty she was. “I will surely wear it more often when I’ll be invited at the royal’s events, then.” 

Eunbi nodded, and then the attention was back at the room. 

“I shall take her with me,” the Queen proposed, reaching out her hand to the kid that grabbed it swiftly, excited to see more. “Go chat with the guests, honey.” 

“I shall let you talk with others, Your Highness, it was an honour meeting you.” 

“It was nice to talk to you, Lady Miyamoto,” she greeted before moving around the room to meet other guests. 

“Your highness,” Lady Fernsby smiled at them. “I always said you were to make an amazing King, definitely your face and your composure much more elevated to be only a bodyguard.” 

Jaehyun smiled, bowing his head before Scarlett coughed. “Oh, yes, I think I’m going to drag this with me for a long time,” he joked, making everybody chuckle. 

“You have always been such a nice man; I remember when you pulled me out of the lake in the country house and didn’t say a word to save my reputation.” 

“The less I could do for an amazing lady like you,” he replied, lips pulled in a polite smile. 

“You two are indeed the brightest diamonds that ever crossed these halls. I feel blessed to know you will be the one leading the country, I am sure you will do exemplary.” 

“Thank you so much, Lady Fernsby, you always had nice words for me.” 

“It is what you deserve. May life only bring happiness to the three of you. I glimpsed at the little lady, she seems joyful.” 

“She sure is. Not much different from her mother, I still remember all the chaos I caused when I was young before Irina came and finally taught me how to be a proper lady.” 

“It was funny, you cheered all of us quite often.” 

“Glad to hear it, hope she will bring just as much happiness as I did.” 

After what felt ages, they had greeted everybody and Jaehyun sighed, walking to an empty corner. “God, I had forgotten how exhausting this was.” 

“Oh, come on, it won’t be like this at other events. It was our first public appearance, we made an amazing impression,” she said, taking his hand in hers. “You’re not regretting this, right?” 

He shook his head, “No, I just was overwhelmed, well, positively, considering they all seemed accepting. I hope they mean their nice words for real and this is not just fake niceties.” 

“I’m sure it’s not, they all saw me grow up, they know I am better than my father. It was just shocking at first, we are quite an unusual thing. I can’t wait to read what the journal will write about this.” 

Jaehyun laughed, “You still love gossip, don’t you?” 

“Yeah, especially about this first night. They decided the best dresses and the worst, and you have no idea about the ladies breaking down crying for their low ranks.” 

“And you were always at the top.” 

“As it should be.” 

“Maybe it was because they didn’t want to get in trouble,” he joked. 

“Or because I look good even in a bedsheet,” she winked with a teasing smirk on her face.  

“True.” 

“Isn’t it weird?” 

“What? That you look good in everything?” 

“No, silly. How the last time we’ve been here it was the end of our story. How I danced with Donghyuck as the realization hit us both. How we thought we were over.” 

“Indeed, it is. I never imagined I was going to hold your hand in public and be called Your Highness, but life’s unexpected.” 

She smiled and moved a little closer to him. “Are you sure you truly want this? Are you sure I’m not asking you too much? That I’m not forcing you into a role you don’t want?” 

“Scarlett, I would follow you everywhere. If I could’ve, I would’ve married you three years ago. I never wanted anything else but to be by your side. I’m simply not used to this life, not from this point of view. I just need time to adjust to this new role but I’ve been adjusting to so many things, I can promise you this won’t take much time.” 

“I don’t want to rush you, I just want you to give yourself value. I know it must come natural to bow at them but you are next to be King, brag about that,” she winked at him, swinging her hips against his before walking toward the centre again, mostly looking for Eunbi. 

“You know what’s also different, now?” He asked, reaching her, and she hummed, waiting for his answer. “That we can’t sneak out of this room anymore.” 

She laughed, lowering her head to don’t show it, and then coughed to gain back her composure. “Shut up and don’t tempt me, I am still very much unhinged.” 

“Maybe the next ball where we’ll have less attention on us,” he proposed with a playful smirk. 

“Oh, dears, you are here. How was it?” The Queen asked, turning around with Eunbi in her arms. 

“Fine, they were all so nice,” she replied with a smile on her face. “Aren’t you getting a little too spoiled, little one?” She asked, bopping the kid’s nose that chuckled at her. 

“I saw my uncles, Yuta was talking with a pretty lady,” she whispered, scrunching her nose. 

“Oh,” Scarlett gasped, pretending to be surprised, “Was he? Are you getting another aunt before the end of the season?” 

“She’s smart, she told me she speaks five languages,” she added. 

“It’s lady Heroux’s second daughter, she definitely is a smart lady.” 

“Oh, I remember her, we used to play together when we went to the countryside. When are we hosting a ball there?” 

“Midseason, don’t you remember?” 

“Oh, not really. Shouldn’t you put her down?” 

“I want Johnny,” Eunbi said as the Queen put her down again. 

“I don’t know where he is, oh, here you are,” she said when Johnny placed a hand around her shoulder. 

“Am I allowed to do this or should I be escorted away from you?” He joked. 

“If you did it when I was her bodyguard, I would’ve already stabbed you,” Jaehyun replied with a low chuckle. 

“Thank God, you’re not anymore.” 

“Don’t show that you’re so close, though,” the Queen warned him, almost rolling her eyes, feeling they were going to make her go insane one of these days. She had got the chance to know them during the first dinner when they arrived there and they were very nice men but surely not used to the court rules at all. And had no limits between each other, she was speechless to find out how her daughter had given birth. 

“Not to go against the Queen’s words but won’t this be useful to bring clients to our jewellery store? How are we going to create the best jewels for the crown if we don’t have money?” 

“We will give enough money to you, darling, no need to worry.” 

“Oh, let it slide, mother. He is engaged, I am too, a little hand on the shoulder is definitely not the scandal of the night when we exist.” 

“Whatever, I am going to entertain the guests, leave you with the little devil.” 

“Come here to Johnny, little devil,” Johnny chanted, kneeling to grab Eunbi. 

“We carry her up more now than when she was a little kid.” 

“Now she’s a woman,” Jaehyun joked. 

“Oh, please, you know what I meant.” 

“I couldn’t find you,” Juliet said, finally reaching them. “Of course, holding her.” 

“Are you jealous?” Johnny smirked. 

“No, but I do wonder sometimes if you love her more than you love me,” she chuckled. 

“You have to forgive him, like he and Taeyong love to say, they birthed her with me.” 

Juliet laughed and then said, “I’ll let this slide just because I too love her so much, right baby?” She cooed, sending her a flying kiss that she caught giggling. “By the way, you were amazing during the speech. I don’t know how you didn’t panic, and you were so convincing, you surely will be an amazing Queen.” 

“Thank you, Jules, it was nerve—wracking, but the silent judgment was even worst, so…” 

“Can I talk to you after I fed you and your kid for three years or are you unreachable already?” Renjun’s high voice reached them making her turn around. 

“Where have you been? I couldn’t find you,” she exclaimed, hugging him.

“I was busy spreading the word of my business, fueling the rumours about you working with me in the past, hope it works since I gave up my first shop in my hometown to come here with you.” 

“As if you can live without your two best friends. Jaemin and Jeno packed their bags faster than the wind when the offer was given, you wouldn’t have stayed there without them.” 

“Caught, but I still hope this will be successful. Also, I’ll miss having you around,” Renjun confessed with a sad smile curling his lips.  

“You’ll surely find somebody else, maybe Juliet. You looked interested in the matter, right?” 

“Oh, I did, but I never worked in a similar place,” she confessed. 

“Neither did I when I first arrived. You should try. Well, unless you don’t have other interests, I don’t want to force you to work with him.” 

“No, you’re not forcing me. I wouldn’t want to be a burden for him.” 

“Maybe for now you might help with the front desk and then we’ll see,” Renjun proposed. “And you will send me design ideas sometimes.” 

“I’ll be busy with my duties, Junie, I can’t,” Scarlett replied. 

“Talking about duties,” The Queen intervened, now standing behind the small group. “Your first dance of the night and the season. A waltz.” 

“Sure, I almost forgot,” she whispered. 

Jaehyun walked past her and then leaned out his hand, “May I have this dance?” 

She smiled, grabbing his hand, and then answered, “I’d be delighted, my King.” 

Walking to the middle of the room while people made way for them and they had no need to hide in the corridors room, felt new and never imagined before. They didn’t have to hide anymore. They could dance for real and not only do that in the gardens with the faint music playing from the windows. They could hold hands, talk with each other freely, and more. 

She felt her heart jump in her chest when his hand placed on the small of her back as the other stayed tied with hers in the air. “This feels surreal,” she whispered, sparkling eyes looking up at him. Chest warming up at seeing how relaxed he was, it wasn’t like back then when he was terrified of being found with her and his hands would shake and his steps skip. 

Jaehyun smiled fondly and then said, “But luckily for us it’s real. Can’t believe the practice we used to have together in your room after the dance classes turned out useful.” 

She chuckled, “Or the dancing in the small kitchen back at Seashore.” 

“I’m kind of sad we had to leave that house, we spent weeks putting it back together.” 

“My mother said we can redo some rooms here if we want to, we could do it ourselves.” 

“Maybe this time around Eunbi can help with something instead of just crawling around and making us panic over the smallest things.” 

“Yes, sure, she’s going to run around this time making us panic,” she replied with a giggle, briefly looking back and seeing that she was dancing in Johnny’s arms as they playfully imitated the waltz movements. “We should redo the guests’ rooms for the boys, customize them based on their likings. And maybe also the hall, it’s kind of old, isn’t it?” 

“If we look at how old the place is, we should redo everything, love,” he replied, eyes drifting from her face to look at the room for a second. It had been years, and nothing had changed, probably it only worsened. “But yes, we can surely add a breath of fresh air starting with some rooms.” 

“I don’t want our room to be my parent’s one,” she confessed, leaving in her brain the fact that, if she could’ve, she would’ve burned it. “Can we use my old room and decorate it together? Maybe we could make it bigger and tear down the wall that divided our rooms.” 

Jaehyun smiled, oh how much he had dreamed to do that back then. He couldn’t even describe the hate he felt toward that mass of bricks that separated them. “Like a symbol of victory?” 

“Yeah, also. You have no idea how much I hated that wall between us back then. You were just on the other side and yet you could never be close to me. But now it’s not like that anymore.” 

He beamed at her and then said, “We’ll definitely do it.” 

“And I also want Eunbi to be closer to us until she’s little, then we can change her to whatever room she likes but for now I want to have her close.” She wasn’t paranoic but she couldn’t understand how her mother slept knowing that the nursery was so far away from their chamber. Oh well, thinking about it, it was because she had been raised by maids. If she cried there was a maid wiping her tears and feeding her milk, if she had nightmares there was a maid singing her a lullaby or reading her a story. And as much as she knew her mother loved her, she wondered why she didn’t love her just as much as she loved Eunbi. 

Scarlett wouldn’t ever be able to sleep at night, knowing that her kid was probably crying and calling her name and some other woman was there instead to dry her little face. She was her mother, she had decided to put her in this world, even if she wasn’t expected, Scarlett wanted Eunbi with every cell of her body, so what was the point of wanting her and then not taking care of her? And for a moment the thought that not even her mother really wanted her hit, but Jaehyun dragged her out of her thoughts…

“You’re already thinking about when she’ll be a teenager?” 

She shook her head, trying to focus on the music and their conversation and not let sadness take over, “I’m just saying. Not even a teenager, maybe, when she’s eight?” 

He nodded, nose scrunching up at the idea of her being so big… eight years old, that was just four years away, and considering how fast the past four years passed… “I don’t want to think about it, let me enjoy that small troublemaker.” 

She chuckled, and then went silent, thinking about something that was going on in her brain for a lot of time now. And Jaehyun got it from the way her eyes were looking at him, daydreaming about something she wanted him to know but yet was too afraid to confess. 

“What’s running in that mind?” 

“Nothing, I mean, not something we can have right now.” 

Jaehyun raised a brow, and then knitted them together; didn’t they already have everything they could ask for? “What’s something we can’t have now? A horse? Another house? What’s missing?” 

“No, it’s not about the economical stability, it’s just that it will be a worry and we can’t add it to the list. There’s our wedding to think about first, the coronation, Johnny and Juliet’s wedding, and our new roles.” 

“Are you thinking about what I think you’re thinking?” He asked, a smug smirk on his face curling his lips and making his dimples pop out. 

She sighed as they kept moving with the music. “It’s been more than three years since we had her, and a part of me wants to focus on her but a small, small part wants another one. I want you to be by my side this time around, I want to live a tranquil pregnancy, for what it can be, and I want to make our family grow,” she confessed, staring into his eyes. This wasn’t a talk they had the chance to have for Eunbi, at least not with a sober mind, not in between dirty sheets and lust—hazed brains. Back then it was just a game, a joke. 

Jaehyun smiled, ears turning red as he tried to hide it by lowering his head.

“You were thinking about this too!” She squealed.  

“Shh, don’t scream. But yes,” he admitted, “I didn’t want to pressure you. Also, things just started going well, I thought that adding another family member was dumb and reckless.” 

Scarlett let out a sigh, and tightened the hold on their intertwined hands, “I thought I was going crazy for how badly I wanted another one.” 

Jaehyun shook his head to reassure her. If he had to be honest, he wanted another one far before then just some months ago, not being there for her during the first one had killed him. “Well, after the wedding and everything, we could try.” 

“But what if it’s too soon for her? What if we can’t love her the same? Or even for us, she’s still young and she’s a lot to take.” 

“She’s showered with love, I’m sure she won’t miss any. And if everything goes well at the first try, which I doubt we’ll be that lucky again, she’ll be fourth and a half old.”

Scarlett hummed, “It’s so weird to plan it, though. Is it how people normally do?” 

“You’re not planning it, you’re just making sure everybody’s okay with the possible arrival of a baby. Don’t stress yourself over this. It will be fine,” he reassured her, the hand on her back doing small circles and then the music stopped. 

They pulled apart, small smiles on their faces, and bowed at each other before walking to the side again. 

“You are good dancers,” Eunbi cheered as soon as they came back to her. 

“Do you want to dance with Daddy?” Jaehyun proposed, asking for her hand, smiling when she grabbed it and dragged him to the dance floor. 

“Uh, uh, the journals are going to be filled with gossip tomorrow,” Johnny sang, siding Scarlett that was looking at the scene, while he was busier watching the looks on the others’ faces. 

“I think the ton will be filled with things to talk about for a long time,” she replied, smirking and then turning to him as they laughed way too loudly for the occasion. “I seriously need to go back to being serious. You are a terrible company, Johnny.” 

“You loved my company in the past years, and I was the best person that could’ve been by your side,” he replied. 

“You were,” she agreed, “I mean, you are. Maybe not very fitting for this place, but it will do. People will get used to it.” 

“I can’t believe that this is scandalous,” Johnny confessed. He totally got why it was, but he didn’t get how it was a problem to start with. “Your father never danced like this with you?” He asked, eyes now focused on Jaehyun that was bent, trying to dance and at the same time hold Eunbi’s hands while she moved to the rhythm and laughed loudly at every missed step of her father. 

Scarlett pursed her lips together, pushing down the lump in her throat at his words, “No. He never even said he loved me,” she confessed, a small, bitter chuckle rolling out of her lips. “He had never been proud of me in any way. He never held my hand while I was struggling on my feet to take my first steps, he never rushed to be back here afraid he would miss my first words. And nothing changed when I was big enough to truly understand how much he couldn’t stand me,” she whispered the last words while her head faced the marble floor for a split second before looking again at Jaehyun and Eunbi. “I spent my entire life trying to change him, trying to be the best daughter he could’ve ever wished for. I even thought that maybe he was right at being so stern with me, I had to be good enough to be a Queen and he just wanted me to be my absolute best but now,” she had to stop to take a deep breath, and then went on, “now I know that I wasn’t the problem. I look at Eunbi and I’m so proud already and I do not really care what she’ll become as long as she’ll be happy. And you have no idea how glad I am to know that I ended up with Jaehyun and life didn’t tear us apart because she won’t ever have to fight for his love, she won’t have to get on bleeding knees and beg for him to look at her with kindness instead of disgust. She is loved, deeply, and I hope she can feel it.” 

Johnny’s arms wrapped around her shoulders, not caring that people could see, “I’m sure she knows,” he reassured her. “You and Jaehyun are amazing parents, and I’m sure that even this new thing won’t change that for her.”  

She smiled, leaning her head against his shoulder for a moment before the other two reached them once the orchestra finished playing the song. 

“Honey, are you trying to put us through more scandals?” Jaehyun asked, raising a brow at where they were united. “He looks like he could be your new bodyguard, you don’t want people to say you have a thing for them, right?” 

Johnny rolled his eyes and then moved back, letting Jaehyun take her side, while Scarlett winked at him, “But I do have a thing for bodyguards,” she whispered in his ears. 

“Careful, I’m not one anymore,” he reminded her before Eunbi called for their attention and she simply smirked at him as a reply. 

“Mama, did you see?” She asked, looking up at her while her hand pointed at the dance floor, “Was I good like you?” 

Scarlett smiled tenderly, “Oh, sweetie, you are so much better than your Mama,” she replied with a sweet tone.   

Eunbi smiled brightly, rocking her body around while her hand played together in embarrassment. “I told you I was better than her,” she said to her father and Jaehyun raised his hand in defence. 

“I think that too, but I was trying to be nice with Mama,” he said. 

“You two are always so cruel with me,” Scarlett played along, pretending to be offended, chin up and placing her fists at her sides. 

“You do have a beautiful gown, Mama,” she said, running to hug her, face smashed against her leg. “And, don’t tell it,” she whispered, looking around to make sure nobody was listening, “but you are the prettiest lady in this room,” she smiled smugly, hiding her face in her dress again, making her parents laugh. “The prettiest lady in the whooole world.” 

“Thank you, little bird,” she replied, kneeling at her height. “You are a very beautiful young lady too; I wonder where your parents are, I suppose they look amazing.” 

She giggled, throwing her head back laughing, showing her small teeth. “They are also very kind, and they love me so much. You should try my Mommy’s Sunday cake, and my Daddy’s lullabies.” 

Jaehyun kneeled too, and smiled at them, “maybe we could start with Daddy’s lullabies tonight, don’t you think so?” He proposed, eyeing the big clock in the middle of the ballroom. It wasn’t late for them, but for her, it was definitely past bedtime. 

“Do I have to go to sleep?” She pouted, lower lip out and sweet doe eyes trying to corrupt them. 

“Eyes closed, you’re not fooling Dada, baby,” he said, lifting her and tickling her. 

“But dad!” She squealed between laughs, doing grabby hands to ask her mother to help. 

“Dad’s right,” Scarlett told her when Jaehyun stopped the ‘torture’ and she calmed in his arms. “It’s way too late for you, Princess. You shouldn’t have even been here.” 

“But here is pretty, everything shines,” she complained, still pouting. 

“How are you not tired?” Jaehyun asked as they started walking out of the door while Scarlett informed the Queen they were going to put her to bed and then come back as soon as they could. 

“Because I have this dress that gives me aaalll the energy in the world,” she said, spreading her arms in an exaggerated description.

“Really?” He pretended to be surprised. “So, it gives you superpowers?” 

She nodded, smiling, and he almost melted when he saw his dimple pop out on her cheek and Scarlett’s wrinkles show under her eyes. 

“Then we’ll have to take this beautiful dress off and get into your comfortable pjs with teddy bears, don’t you think so?” 

“But that doesn’t have powers,” she whined, and then looked at her mom that reached them. Ballroom now long gone behind them as they kept walking down the corridors to reach the nursery. “I don’t want to sleep.” 

“But you have to,” Scarlett said. “You’ve been up all day, and you danced all night, and you know that even superheroes must sleep, right? How do you fight if you’re tired?” She told her, having heard the conversation since the palace was silent in the halls. 

“Fine, but will we ever come back there? I really like dancing,” she said, resting her head against Jaehyun’s shoulder, first sign that maybe she had decided to give in to sleep. That had always been her favourite position to fall asleep since she was little, an arm wrapped around his neck, the other hand flat against his chest and head against his shoulder. 

“You can go there every time you want from now on,” Scarlett told her. “I don’t think you got it, but this will be our new home.” 

And sleep was long gone when at those words she jumped up, staring back and forth at her parents with wide eyes. “This?” 

“Yeah, we moved in here. And I know it’s big and I also know you won’t get what all of this means but this is our new home.” 

“I love this,” she exclaimed, clapping her hands and Jaehyun put her down once they arrived in front of the nursery, opening the door to let her in. It was nice to see all the enthusiasm, and Scarlett hoped that she wouldn’t have cursed them once reality hit her, realizing how big this truly was. 

“And what about my uncles and auntie?” She asked, running on the bed, climbing on it before sitting on the edge to remove her shoes, not gently at all. 

Jaehyun chuckled, not even caring that she was overhyped once again and probably getting her to fall asleep would’ve taken more than one song. And Scarlett rolled her eyes, rushing to help her open the button on the back of her dress; she wanted to do way too much even when she didn’t have the ability to. 

“They won’t go back, right?” 

“No,” Scarlett replied, “You probably will see them a little bit less, but they all will be here.” 

“It will be just like at home. When we moved out in our place you would see them occasionally, right?” 

Eunbi nodded, standing up on the bed to push down the dress, and then started to jump on it. 

“This bed is soft,” she said. 

“Stop doing that,” Scarlett warned her, “what if you fall?” 

“Dada will catch me,” she chuckled, still jumping up and down, laughing loudly. 

“And Dada got you,” Jaehyun said, catching her midway. “If you fall back on the pins in your hair you’ll get hurt,” he warned her, sitting her on the vanity table chair to remove the pins from her styled hair. 

Scarlett smiled at the scene of Jaehyun delicately taking care of her hair, removing all the ornaments, and then brushing them with his hands after dropping some droplets of oils on it. This weirdly felt like home, from the other side of the world, in a place that was twice as big, but it felt like home. Nothing had changed, and she hoped that things were going to stay the same with time. 

“Can I put the pink bonnet on tonight?” Eunbi asked her mother, looking at her through the mirror while Jaehyun tied her hair in a big braid. 

“Sure, it matches with your pjs,” her mother smiled at her, going back to the closet to grab another one. “Wear the clothes first. Come here,” Scarlett encouraged her to get up so she could put on the shirt and short pants of the nightwear. 

“I can put it on alone,” she said, reaching for the silk bonnet and trying to push her hair in, but leaving the tip of the braid out and she huffed. “But I’m a big girl, now.” 

Jaehyun smiled, “you are a big girl, but even big girls need help,” he reassured her, fixing the cap on her head, and gently kissing her forehead after. 

“Right,” she smiled, kissing his cheek before raising her hands to her mother. “Kiss goodnight,” she asked doing kissy lips and Scarlett leaned so she could meet her cheek before kissing her back. 

“I like this,” Eunbi said, jumping from the chair and running to the bed again, lifting the covers and laying down, waiting for her parents to sit next to her. “Do you like it here?” She asked, as much as she felt sleepy, she also felt excited about all of these changes. She couldn’t understand, in her heart, it just felt like a new exciting adventure but as long as she had her parents at her side, she knew she was going to be fine. They had many adventures in the past years and nothing went wrong, so, even if this felt bigger, it didn’t look scary at all. She found a grandmother, she had her uncles and aunt, her parents, and even some nice ladies that helped her get pretty for a dance. She felt loved as always. 

“Yeah, we like being here,” Jaehyun replied, grabbing a chair to sit next to her, and signalling Scarlett to sit on his lap. 

Eunbi smiled, “I’m happy. I can still read books with Johnny?” 

“Yes, honey, you can do whatever you want. Nothing changed, not for the people that love you. We just moved to a bigger place,” Scarlett reassured her, caressing her hand, while Jaehyun started to caress her cheek. 

“This room doesn’t have my things,” she noted, a small pout forming on her lips and a frown on her face.  

“Not yet. Those things were mine, you know?” 

Her eyes widened and so did her mouth, “Really? Even the shaking horse?” 

“The rocking horse,” she corrected, laughing at the way she was convinced at saying that. “It’s a rocking horse, and yes, it was mine.” 

She furrowed, “But it shakes.” 

“Well, yes, but shaking it’s more like moving something with no direction, a little bit more no sense compared to rocking.” 

“Can’t we call it shaking horse?” 

“Yes, we can call it however you want,” she replied, smiling fondly. 

“I like it better if it’s yours,” Eunbi admitted, smiling, wanting to talk more but feeling drowsy. 

“Your things will come here, by the way. I know you’re not letting go of your toys,” Jaehyun reassured her. It wasn’t like she had many, unfortunately, they never could’ve afforded to spoil her, but she was quite good at not breaking them, so a lot lasted, and she ‘piled’ them over the years. 

She hummed, smiling at them before letting her body slump back into the soft mattress and snuggle her head against the pillow, still holding her mother’s hand. “Song, please,” she whispered, so tired she had no strength to elaborate a full phrase. 

“Your favourite?” Jaehyun asked and when she nodded with a sleepy smile on her face, he started singing.

It did take only one song, fortunately, for her to fall asleep but the idea of going back to the ballroom didn’t seem appealing to Jaehyun at all. Maybe he did hate those events a bit, especially when they were so full of people not only, he barely knew, but also couldn’t stand. 

“Maybe we need to work on her being a little more delicate, especially if you’re going to dress her up like that,” Jaehyun joked as they closed the door behind and stayed there, leaning against the door. 

“My mother will probably soon start the etiquette courses I had to take part in. Don’t worry, she will calm down.” 

“I don’t want her to calm down, just to don’t hurt herself. Do you see her sitting prettily at a table or not talking even to walls?” 

Scarlett chuckled, “Not really, but maybe with time,” she shrugged, grabbing his hand, and moving to head toward the ballroom, but Jaehyun pulled to the other side. “What?” She asked, turning around with a furrow. 

A smirk crossed his face, eyebrow lifting teasingly, “Remember what we used to do back then?” 

“Oh, no, we can’t do this now,” Scarlett replied, shaking her head.  

“Oh, please, you could drag me out of those rooms when my head could’ve ended in the King’s hands and now I can’t?” 

“We were… I wasn’t a Queen,” she muttered, trying to pull back. 

“You are not one, yet, technically,” he corrected, pushing her close to him, chest to chest. “Come on, want to roleplay a little bit?” 

She giggled, lowering her head from shame, “you want to be a bodyguard so bad, maybe you liked it?” 

“I did. I mean, I liked being your bodyguard. Knowing I had to protect your life with mine made me feel like loving you made a little more sense.” 

“But now you can have me.” 

“Right here?” 

“Not like that,” she cursed. “We’ve been missing for a long time.” 

“We can blame it on her,” he insisted. “Isn’t it better to be there for the end of the ball? If we sneak out after, it’s going to be worst.” 

Scarlett thought about that for a moment but then gave in, “Fine, but this is the first and last time we do that.” 

Jaehyun laughed, “You also said that when we started,” he said before he started running to the other side of the corridor. 

“Where are we going?” She asked through laughs, trying to don’t be too loud, knowing that probably some maids were still up, and holding up the dress to don’t fall miserably on the floor. 

“Shh, you don’t want them to find us,” he reminded her, coming to a stop to take a breath. 

“Where are we going?” She asked, but her eyes widened when Jaehyun only looked at her smirking. “He—here?” She asked hesitant, looking around. They were far from the ballroom, in one of the corridors of the castle with big windows letting the moonlight shine through and lit up torches on each side. And yes, no other people were awake, well except for the guards… but now that she thought about it, they were much less than before, she should’ve investigated that further… 

“Are you with me?” Jaehyun asked, lifting her chin up. 

“Y-yes. Do you know why there are so few guards around?” 

Jaehyun rolled his eyes, “Are you seriously thinking about that, right now?” 

“I mean, what if they see us, what if –” but he shut her up with a kiss. 

“You never cared about this before, now, did you?” 

She hummed, shaking her head, breathing heavily because she wanted him so badly. She missed feeling this type of rush running in her bones but right here, in the open corridor was such a bold move. But it had also been so long since they did something together, they never really had much time back at home, busy with work, Eunbi, and the general stress. Most of the time, their moments together were just falling asleep in each other’s arms or trying to make the best of the tasks to take care of the house together. 

“If you keep quiet, nobody will hear us, love,” he said, lips running on the skin of her neck, slowly making her let her guard down, starting to drag her against the nearer wall. Why was she even acting as if that was the first time they did it? Once she let him fuck her almost right outside the ballroom door and they almost got caught. 

“But don’t mess my hair, they can’t find out.” 

He snickered, “Don’t worry, I plan on messing something else,” he whispered before his lips collided with hers and his hands moved under her dress, thankful she wore something that didn’t have much volume and he could easily push it up to have access. 

Scarlett threw her head back while her hands tried hard to don’t intertwine in his hair and instead focused on his body, too, running over it as if it was a new land to explore and she didn’t already have it written down by heart. 

“Come here,” she whispered, urging him closer to her so they could keep kissing. 

“Got in the mood quickly,” he teased as he let one of his hands slip between her legs, rubbing against her sensitive core. “I love it when you get eager for more,” he whispered against her neck, kissing and nibbling her skin, “eager for me.”

She moaned, feeling a strangely pleasurable sting as the pins in her hair dug a little deeper into her scalp as her head pressed back into the marble wall behind her. And a shaky whimper slipped out of her lips when Jaehyun’s slid two fingers into her after moving the panties to the side, and started to pump in and out. 

“Fu – fuck,” she moaned, squeezing her eyes shut, nails digging in his forearms. 

“You like this, don’t you?” He asked, voice low, and eyes staring at the way her body was already squirming under him. And his cock throbbed harder at the sight of her being so vulnerable. He had missed this; her, perfectly dressed up, in her Princess clothes, with her Princess duties, turning putty in his hands. And even if right now it was different because they were the same, at least in their hearts, he couldn’t help but get turned on at that thought. It was his guilty pleasure to know that he was still the only one that could see her like this, the only one that ever got so deep into her skin, into her heart and bones. 

“Yes, yeah,” she replied, forcing her eyes open, looking at him, hips bucking against his hand, shaking when his palm pressed hard against her clit while his two fingers kept pumping into her. “Need you,” she begged, letting her hand run in his hair, not caring about messing it up. “Take me, now.”

Jaehyun snickered, “You are still so greedy for a Princess,” he mocked, adding a third finger, ignoring her words. “But don’t you think it’s worse now?” His voice got lower as his movements sped up; he was going to make her come twice, there was no way he was pulling out right now. She shook her head, whimpering, trying hard to ground herself against him. “You are soon to be Queen,” he snickered, drifting his eyes into hers, making her heart skip a beat for how much this all felt like in the past. But this time it was funny, because it was just a game, their different status couldn’t push them away. 

She gulped, parting her lips to try to let out words that made sense, and said, “Fuck me hard, then. Don’t treat me like a Queen, not now, not tonight, please,” she begged, moving a hand to wrap it around his wrist. Jaehyun smirked, “I didn’t plan on treating you like a Queen. But I do want to make you come until you are melting, so come,” he ordered, quickening the speed, cum dripping down his hands and her legs. 

And she did, trapping her lower lip between her teeth to don’t let out any sounds, she came around his fingers, squeezing her eyes shut and biting so hard she could taste blood in her mouth. 

Jaehyun smiled, pulling out of her and moving his hand quickly on the buttons of his pants to pull out his throbbing cock, but right when he was about to lift one of her legs up and push his tip against her entrance, she stopped him. 

“Ta-take me from behind,” she mumbled, skin heating up and eyes not looking at him. A small laugh rumbled in his chest before he lifted her chin and forced her to look at him. 

“No, Princess, it doesn’t work like this,” he replied and then ran his tongue on his lips. “Ask politely while you look into my eyes, come on,” he ordered. “Tell me you want to be taken hard and rough with your pretty face against the wall.” 

His words sent her brain into a spiral and she almost moaned at how sinful it all felt, but gathering the courage to say those words out loud, to be this dirty, was harder. 

“Cat got your tongue? It’s very rude to make people wait, and right now you’re not only making me wait but,” he leaned closer to her ear, “do I have to remind you about your people waiting for you during your first ball?” 

Those words made her realize they didn’t have all the time in the world. It was a miracle if nobody was looking for them already, and she wondered just for how long the excuse of tucking Eunbi in bed was going to last, they weren’t even close to the nursey. 

“Please, sir, fuck me hard against this wall, please,” she begged. 

“Your wish is my command, Your Highness,” he replied with a smirk on his face, feeling his heart much lighter now at calling her with those honorifics. He was quick at turning her around and lifting her dress again before aligning against her entrance, slowly making his way in. 

She moaned when Jaehyun bottomed out, resting a hand flat against the cold wall and pushing her ass back against him. And she imagined he was going to start picking up speed, but he kept moving slowly, dragging all the way out and then pushing back inside. 

“You’re so delicate with me since I’ve had her,” she huffed, thinking back at how, the few times they had the chance to do something, he had changed completely and never gave it to her as hard as he was used to doing. “I want it hard,” she demanded. “Remember how you used to take me when we would do this? How much you loved seeing me a mess underneath you? How you loved knowing nobody knew how much I loved being manhandled and being ruined by you.” 

“Is that what you want? I thought you demanded not to ruin you, I thought people couldn’t know,” he replied, but his hips started slamming harder against her, still pulling almost all the way out but with a faster speed. 

“I changed my mind – fuck – I, I want them to know. I want the ton to know I belong to – shit – to you,” she cried out when one of his hands wrapped around her waist and squeezed, “I want them to know you’re the only one that gets me like this.” 

“I’ll give it to you, then, my Princess,” he said, other hand moving up to graze her neck and pulling her back to kiss her harshly. 

“Fuck,” she moaned, closing her eyes, struggling to keep her whines of pleasure into her mouth as she could feel him deep and hard inside of her, the veins of his dick dragging against her wet walls and his girth stretching her just how she wanted. “Just like that.” 

“Yeah, you like that?” He asked, pressing his forehead against her, consequentially pressing her face more against the wall. “And I bet you’ll like it even more if I do this,” he said with a smirk, moving the hand on her hips between her legs. 

She gasped, pushing back against him, and couldn’t keep in her sinful sounds. 

“No, no, Princess,” he cooed, “keep your pretty mouth shut, remember? Anybody could hear us, or worse,” he lowered his voice, “see us.” 

Her eyes fluttered behind her lashes, and her walls clenched around him. And Jaehyun snickered, “Maybe that’s what you want, an audience. How scandalous do you truly want to be, my Queen?” 

And this time the thing that fluttered in her body was her heart, for some reason, the way the words my Queen rolled out of his lips, and in such a moment, made her knees buckle and her heart beat faster. It sounded so good, so wrong somehow considering this was the last thing a Queen should be doing, but she couldn’t mind. 

“You don’t mind, don’t you?” He teased, quickening the pace on her clit, kissing her shoulders, and pushing her more against the hard surface. “You still are my dirty little girl, aren’t you? This royal blood is not enough to let you control yourself, to know how to behave.” 

“Maybe I deserve a punishment,” she mumbled, smirking, nails dragging against the wall.

“I should scold you,” he moaned against her ear. “Do you know how dangerous it is to be out here at night?” 

“Fuck,” she whimpered, “Is it?” 

He laughed lowly, making her moan louder and close her eyes once again, “You are lucky I was the one finding you, or else you have no idea what could’ve happened. The future Queen shouldn’t – fuck – stay here,” he whimpered, “with no one to protect her.” 

She pressed her lips in a thin line, feeling that she couldn’t be silent for more when he started to set a brutally fast speed, knocking the breath out of her, cock sliding into her so right she couldn’t remember when it was the last it felt so good, so needed. 

“Maybe that was what you wanted, being fucked hard and rough like any commoner,” he teased, “and if only you didn’t have a ball to run to because you – shit – have to you would let me take you even harder, right?” 

She mumbled a broken answer, back arching further into him, “yes,” she gasped, “’d let you do – fuck – anything.” 

“I know, Your Highness, I know,” he smirked against her ear, getting drunk in the sight of her, only now truly realizing just how much he had missed her like this, puffy lips getting tormented as she struggled to keep it all in and at the same time craved for more, how her eyes fluttered from pleasure, how her boobs were beautifully pressed up in that dress and panted heavily against the wall as she tried to catch her breath. “Would you do something for me, Princess? Would you follow an order from your subject?” 

“Yes, yes,” she mumbled. 

“Good, then come for me,” he ordered, “come undone where anybody could see you melt in my hands. Come on, let these walls see the mess you can make of – shit – yourself.” 

And it was all too much when his fingers on her clit sped up and his thrusts kept the same fast pace that made her head spin around, moans spilling out loudly that Jaehyun had to cover her mouth with his hand to muffle the lewd sounds as he filled her to the brim, not caring about the mess. Both forgetting that just two corridors away a ball was going on and the Queen was panicking, trying to calm the guests and give an explanation for their disappearance, trying to pity the ton saying that for Eunbi it was all too new, and they had to take extra care of her. 

“Are you alright?” He asked, leaving small kisses on her face as he slowly pulled out, fixing her panties, smirking at the thought of her having to walk around with that mess for at least one hour – if they were lucky. 

Scarlett smiled weakly, turning around to rest her back against the wall, trying to calm her breathing. “I’m too old for this, but yes, I feel alright.” 

Jaehyun chuckled, “you wanted me to go hard on you, there’s a reason if I treat you with extra care.” 

“Oh, shut up, I can take it, I just need more time to recover after,” she joked.

“Shit, I fear there’s somebody,” Jaehyun muttered, shushing her with a finger, sharpening his hearing and listening to footsteps approach. “Follow me,” he told her, grabbing her hand and walking a few steps before he pulled a candle hanging on the wall, opening a secret passage. 

“This has always been here?” Scarlett asked surprised, not convinced to get in, but when the steps got louder, she stepped inside, the thick wall closing behind them again. 

“Always,” he replied, starting to walk through the channel after lighting up a candle. 

“How do you still remember everything?” 

Jaehyun snickered, “I had spent nights up studying this place, it was one of the tests I had to pass to get the job. Being good at defending you physically wasn’t enough, you always need to know where you can run and hide, and well, where your enemies might hide as well.” 

Scarlett hummed. She knew he had this place impressed in his memory, but she imagined that after more than three years he would forget about it, and yet, he still knew, it was impressive. “And where will this lead us?” 

“Right outside the ballroom if we go this way,” he said, turning left. “This way we can simply say that we were already heading back when they came to search for us.” 

“I know we shouldn’t have done that,” she paused, “but I missed having you like that,” she confessed, holding his hand tighter. “It’s exciting, don’t you think?” 

Jaehyun smirked, “I wouldn’t have dragged you there if I didn’t think so.” 

“But I truly think this should be the last time of reckless fun,” she added. “I hope it hadn’t been so much to make them get suspicious.”

“We’ve been quick,” he reassured her, pushing another brick, opening the wall on the other side, and they both stepped outside. “Ready to face the ton again?” 

“Always ready if I have you by my side.” 

After the ball, life had been pretty erratic, and Scarlett often wondered if she could truly keep up with the rhythms of the court. But in answer to every intrusive thought that would cross her mind, there was Jaehyun reassuring her everything was going to be alright. 

‘It’s hard because there are many big events to prepare for, and you also need to catch up on everything you missed in the past years,’ Jaehyun had told her a few times, and she agreed but still cursed Donghyuck for calling her so late and damned herself for having accepted. 

There wasn’t a rush for the enthronement. Her mother was still the Queen, and she could’ve been elected Queen for now and then followed the ceremony of coronation later. But, seemingly, it was more pressuring than she imagined. Her mother had no strength to follow through with her duties, not that she had ever done that, considering the one ‘taking care’ of everything was the King. And the country needed a leader, a strong one, and considering the whole situation, she needed an iconic arrival on the scene. Being nominated Queen in private just wasn’t enough. They needed a show, people needed to love her, honour her, truly trust her and see how devoted to the role she was. 

All the excitement that rushed in her veins was slowly slipping away at the thought she wasn’t enough. Maybe her father was right, she wasn’t made for this, she was a disappointment. But then her hate for him took over. She had promised him she was going to be everything he didn’t think she could be, so she tried. For revenge, for Eunbi, for Jaehyun, for the boys that gave up everything and followed her with the promise of a better future. She needed to start from her very own people so she could also be good to her country. 

And luckily, Donghyuck had been kind enough to offer to help her, at least at the start. He would go with her at the first meetings with other countries. He also assured her to side with her Queendom and maintain the relations he already had with her father. And his support made her sleep at night a little more. 

But what was pressing the most was the coronation day. And now that only two days were ahead, she couldn’t help but panic. 

There was no turning back. 

The moment the crown would’ve touched her head and she would’ve sworn to fight and protect her land with her own life and would’ve been proclaimed Queen, her life would’ve been marked forever. And even if power felt thrilling, and that was exactly what she had longed for her entire life, right now, that it was so close, it felt terrifying. 

“You will not survive another day if you don’t calm down,” Jaehyun whispered, bringing her out of her thoughts again, she had lost count now of how many times if it wasn’t for him, her brain would’ve started travelling way too far and pushed her deeper into that misery. 

“I am calm,” she replied, but the way her feet were tapping against the ground and she barely touched food all dinner said other things. “Why can’t my mother still reign just for a little bit more?” She snapped, dropping down the fork on the floor. “It’s fine,” she dismissed a maid ready to pick it back up. “Honestly, you may leave, we’re fine. You’re dismissed, all of you, thank you,” she said, talking to everybody in the room. 

“But, Your Highness, we are the security,” a guard said, not following the reluctant maids out of the room. 

“Nobody’s going to kill us while we’re eating. You can wait outside if you really feel it’s needed, thanks,” she insisted, waiting for everybody to leave them alone.  

“Scar, are you okay?” Jaehyun asked, worried, once everybody was out, placing his hand on her shaking one. 

“No,” she admitted, trying to hold in the tears, she didn’t want to cry in front of Eunbi that was still finishing her dessert. “I’m so nervous, and I know you keep telling me I can do this, but…” she had to stop, feeling like she could break down right there at any moment. “Let’s not talk right now, alright?” 

Jaehyun hummed, not convinced, but decided to drop the conversation until Eunbi was done. It was an adult talk anyway, and there was no need to have it with her in front. 

“Honey,” he called Eunbi when she had finished her sweet and was cleaning her face with a napkin, “Daddy needs you to go to sleep with Nana Maria tonight. Can you do me this favour?” She had grown close to Scarlett’s maid women, still wanted to have nothing to do with her supposed to be maids, but it was something, at least. 

Eunbi hummed, nodding happily. “Are you sad Mama?” She asked when, leaning on the table to get closer to her to kiss her, she noticed her expression. 

“A little tired, sweetheart, but don’t worry, alright?” Scarlett replied, caressing her soft cheek. “I’m calling Maria and —”  

“No, I’ll carry her to the nursery and tell Maria to look after her for tonight. Wait for me in our room, I’ll be back immediately,” Jaehyun stopped her, grabbing Eunbi’s hand after she kissed her mother goodnight and walked out of the diner room. 

Scarlett got up soon after, walking to their room, and then starting to get changed for the night, thankful she had dismissed her maids from doing it for her. It was nice having them around, but she was so used to being alone now, that she couldn’t stand so many people around doing so many basic things for her. Why couldn’t they just come and help when it was needed and during the rest of the time go back home and have their own family? Why did they have to stay there and waste their lives for somebody capable of taking care of it by herself? 

Also, she enjoyed much more being in that room with only Jaehyun, and Eunbi when she whined to fall asleep and begged for them to let her fall asleep between them. Maybe the hype was waning a bit even for her. 

“Hey,” Jaehyun called, making her turn back from the dresser. 

“Was she alright?” 

He nodded, walking next to her, placing a hand on her shoulder, she’s fine, you know she doesn’t whine much if you talk it through.” 

Scarlett hummed while she dipped the tips of her fingers in the cream and started massaging her face with more anger than was needed. 

“Can you explain what is going on?” He asked, sitting next to her, watching her movements and how much she was shaking. 

She sighed, starting to collect her hair in a braid but giving up halfway, so Jaehyun got up and positioned behind her to it instead. She smiled at him through the mirror and then started talking, perhaps if she let it out it would’ve been easier. “I’m thrilled and nervous at the same time. I want this so badly, and deep down I know I’ll be good, but what if the good feedback was fake? What if somebody truly wants us dead? What if because of my greed I will lose you?” 

“Your greed? Wanting love and power is greed? Why is it never questioned to Kings? Why are they never asked to choose between those? Why would leading your country, the land you were born and raised in, and being an amazing mother and wife would be greedy or wrong?” 

“I don’t know, but people don’t think like us,” she explained, getting up and standing in front of their bed, once again tapping her feet nervously since she couldn’t ruin the perfectly cured manicure of her nails. 

Jaehyun sighed, “I know I will never understand the weight you carry on your shoulders because what people expect from you is nothing compared to what they expect from me. But you saw them, you saw your people, crying and thanking the Saints for having sent you back again to save them. You are their saviour, you are the good they have been asking for, for ages. And they wouldn’t have hesitated to pull out a knife and push it down your flesh if they hated you, but they didn’t. Two days after you have been represented to society, you were between them, and they all worshipped the ground you walked on. This is the place where you belong, this is where you were always supposed to be. Proud and tall, a reigning Queen, capable of anything. Never doubt that.” 

“And then I am the one good with words,” she joked, smiling at him, feeling the tension loosen up a little when his hand cupped her cheek and caressed her softly. 

“Queen Scarlett Aloace of Havenglow,” Jaehyun whispered, “it sounds so beautiful,” he beamed, thumb caressing her skin. 

“It will sound so scary when it won’t come out of your lips tomorrow,” she replied with a light chuckle. 

“But for now, it can only come out of my lips,” he reassured her, getting closer, leaning down to let their noses touch, “and the thousands of people cheering it, chanting it, vowing for you, praying the Gods up high to light up your road headed. People are devoted, deeply, even scarily, but this will assure you what you had asked them to do; to walk by your side as you will bring the light on this country for the first time in years.” 

“But I am no Saint, I have no Gods by side,” she replied, shivering as she thought about the trust people were putting in her hands. How fondly they truly believed she was going to be their saviour, and she feared she couldn’t have been able to live up to those expectations. People not only were devoted, but they were tired of years of mistreatments, abuse, and poverty, just one mistake, and that would’ve been the final straw. 

“Then be your own God,” he stated, lips brushing together, “be who you truly are destined to be.” 

She chuckled against his lips, “a Goddess? I don’t think that is my destiny.” 

“You do look like one,” he replied, fingers slipping behind her neck and pushing her closer. “I want you to be loud as a tornado when you walk the halls and take back everything you were destined for. I want you to be the only one people will look at. I want you to shine bright as the star you are meant to be. Do not hold back because that is what your father told you your entire life. Do not hold back because he taught you to stay quiet, silent in a corner as people walked all over you and your will. Do not think that only because you share half of his blood you are the same as him.” 

She felt her heart beat harder at his words, feeling sensitive to the point of crying. 

“I am capable of doing this,” she whispered, looking into his eyes, searching for that kind of comfort only he was able to give her, grounding herself into his golden—brown depths to seek more confidence. 

“You are,” he repeated, kissing her, small touches, lips that seemed almost shy, but full of intentions as if he wanted to imprint that thought into her deeper. “I can’t wait to see you covered in gold, sitting on your throne, wearing your crown, and holding your sceptre.” 

She chuckled, head falling back at the tickling sensation of his lips against her skin. “You do know you might fuel my darkest desires with your words?” 

“Do you have them?” He asked, pulling apart for a second, raising a brow. 

“I may have them, who knows,” she played along, letting her finger trail against his jacket. “May I confess to you? Will you swear to don’t let them slip past your lips?” 

“I would do anything for you, my Queen,” he confessed, dropping to his knees. She felt her breath falter for a moment when seeing him like this, hearing his words, made her realize how good power felt, how she wanted to have it all, to prove everybody she was capable and worthy and deserving of everything she had. She wanted to prove there was no reason to doubt her because she could have both, love and power. 

And maybe that was the last night of what felt normal, but what felt normal wasn’t what was written in her destiny. 

Jaehyun was right, she was supposed to be great, and she was going to prove it. 

“Then love me,” she whispered, lifting his face with two fingers under his chin. Power was ahead, but love was what she wanted to feel that night, love that only Jaehyun could give her. And love was what she wanted to hold on to, selfishly and greedily like they always did, when they spent hours burning between these sheets pretending what they had was right. Because nothing much changed, only when she was rolling in that tangle with him, only when his fingers grazed her skin so gently and his lips brushed against it like the softest summer breeze, she felt human again. He was good at that, protecting her from the weight of the world, and the weight of her own brain. He was good at making the world stop spinning around so fast and cage their bodies in a limbo where nothing could hurt them, not in the past, not now, and not even in the future.

And the rush of power she felt as his hands moved on her legs, pushing the silk nightgown up, and going up on her stomach, lips trailing on her skin, made her lose her mind. 

She wanted more.

Scarlett stared at her reflection in the mirror while her fingers ran over her dress; the red and the golden embroideries made her look regal, and she loved the way the big gown fell on her hips and then dragged on the floor behind her. Her eyes drifted on her face, her eyelids were painted gold and a sharp line of black lifted them, while her lips were shiny. Her hair was styled in an intricated hairstyle and then pulled together in a medium-low bun. Her hands were wrapped in red gloves with gold patterns running from her fingers and then fading the closer they got to her arms. 

She took a deep breath, closed her eyes, and let her hand brush her dress to fix the crease. When she opened them again a smile curled her lips as her eyes made eye contact with Jaehyun from the mirror. 

“You look stunning,” he whispered close to her ear, leaving a small kiss on her temple. 

“We look stunning,” she said, turning around to fix his deep red jacket with the same golden patterns she had. “I was right,” she smirked, looking at him, brown hair pulled back in a comma hairstyle, elegant suit, royal posture, and his same old familiar face she loved so much. 

“About?” He asked, raising a brow. 

“You would be an amazing King,” she smiled, caressing his cheek, observing how much he looked like all the other men they tried to set her up with. 

“Easy now,” he chuckled, taking her hand in his, “this is your coronation, remember.” 

“I know, I cannot forget it easily when I’ve been pampered all morning to be absolutely perfect for this event.” 

“They did an incredible job,” he said. “Are you ready?” 

She hummed, taking one last brief glimpse at the mirror and then intertwining their arms together. 

“You can walk with me, right?” 

“I would’ve had to do that if I was your bodyguard, surely not intertwining our arms.” She grinned, pushing the door and walking to the throne room. “I will leave your side when we enter. You will walk alone to the throne and then the celebration will start. I will be behind you.” 

She nodded, they had tried it before since her mother insisted nothing could go wrong, but she imagined the Queen wanted somebody else to protect her, probably Jaehyun had convinced her to let him stay by her side. 

And now that they were standing right in front of the doors, she felt her heart falter for a moment, and cold over her, even more, when Jaehyun’s arms slipped out of her hold. 

“You are made for this,” he reminded her, moving behind her. “I love you.” 

“I love you, too,” she replied, smiling at him before the trumpets started playing and the doors opened. The golden light of the room washed over her as she tried to adjust her eyes to see and look at the insane amount of people that were in the throne room, waiting, politely standing, ready to welcome her and accept her as their new leader. 

This had a completely different feeling than all the practice she had. These were real people. The ones she had to guide through the future. 

But somehow, seeing them, felt less pressuring than it was in her imagination. So, she lifted her chin, hands in front of her, and started walking toward the throne where the Queen was waiting, naked of her own crown. 

The celebration started, and it felt like hours to her before they arrived at the vows. 

“Scarlett Aloace of Havenglow, do you solemnly swear to rule according to law, exercise justice with mercy, lead your country with the intent to put the people first, and maintain high the name of the Crown?” 

“I solemnly swear to rule according to law, exercise justice with mercy, lead your country with the intent to put the people first, and maintain high the name of the Crown,” she repeated. 

The Queen turned around, grabbed the crown and the sceptre, and then looked at the sky, “Hear our prayers of peace and prosperity, and look, Almighty Gods, with a serene gaze on this, and may you let your light shine on our beloved Queen, giving her the power to carry through and lead us toward a new beginning,” she recited, taking the golden crown and lifting it up, so everybody could see it. “Scarlett Aloace, receive this crown and sceptre by my hands, delivering it to you, with my blessing, to serve for the defence of our Land,” she concluded, placing the crown on top of her head and handing her the shaft. “By the power vested in me, I declare you Queen Scarlett of Havenglow.” 

And only when her mother’s words shut down, and the crowd erupted in loud applause with cheers and cries and the heavy jewel touched her head, Scarlett realized what had happened. She turned around, finally facing her people, seeing children, mothers, workers, and the ones she loved the most, and realised that there, was exactly where she was supposed to be. 

When the feast died down and the throne room was empty, Scarlett wandered around, only now focusing on how majestic the room truly was. With no people inside it looked even brighter, the chandeliers and the golden from the trimmed walls making the moonlight reflect everywhere. The big red carpet ran from the doors to the altar. The paintings on the walls of the previous monarch, standing proud in the golden frames, and she gulped, thrilled to think that they were both going to be there. She had already discussed it with the family painter, she wanted both of them to be there. 

“I know I told you repeatedly today, but,” Jaehyun whispered, “you look majestic this way,” he finished, standing behind her, hands running over her waist, crossing right in front of her belly. 

“All this golden makes me shine,” she replied, turning her head around, and nuzzling her nose against his, making him smile at the tender gesture. It felt intimate being able to see this cosy side of her after he had watched her stroll around all day, standing high and proud as she met the people and the ton.  

“You do not need gold to shine, but yes, it does help,” he chuckled. “Although, I’d love to see you sit on the throne,” he whispered against her neck, eyes looking over her, where the big, shiny, golden seat was, high above the carpeted stairs in the middle of the room. 

“We need to add another seat for you, you will be crowned King too,” she said as they started walking toward it. 

“I can wait,” he reassured her. “I am already King by your side.” 

She giggled shyly, looking down to don’t slip on the stairs. “You are the most hopeless romantic person I have ever met.” 

“I take it as a compliment,” he chuckled as he followed her movements on the throne. And even though the crown wasn’t adorning her head anymore and no sceptre was in her hand, he was still mesmerized by the sight and how much she belonged there. She fit perfectly and he couldn’t believe she had been willing to let all of this go for him. He didn’t feel deserving of so much love, devotion, even, he dared to call it, because what united them was stronger than love for sure. Possibly it could’ve even been considered wrong, but he couldn’t care. 

So he kneeled right in front of her, surprising her, eliciting a gasp of surprise from her. 

“Do you feel alright?” She asked, worried. 

He smiled at her, “never felt better.” 

“Then why are you there?” 

“I need to show you some things,” he said, moving closer to her on his knees, letting his hands travel under the dress, up on her legs, “Need to show you I can praise you and worship you better than the people that were chanting your name just a few hours ago.” 

Scarlett shivered at the contact of his cold fingers and the tone of his voice, breath already faltering in anticipation. 

“Here?” 

A smirk curled his lips, “you always ask me the same question.” 

“You always pick the worst places to have me.” 

“Does Your Majesty require better?” 

She gulped, feeling electricity rush through her at his words, his tone, his eyes staring straight into her in that position, hitting straight to her core. She briefly looked around, to take in where they were, who she was, simply hoping nobody was going to come in – nobody was allowed there, technically. Because she loved this in a way she never imagined she could. 

“Show me,” she ordered, regal tone, firm and confident. “You may show me how devoted you are to me, to your Queen.” 

And Jaehyun obeyed, pushing the fabric of the dress up for what was possible and then pulling her laced undergarments down, letting them lay on the floor, having her on full display for him. He smirked at the sight of her wet folds, glistening and dripping for him only. And in a second his lips were on her, dancing on her sensitive spot, making her throw her head back and grip tighter around the throne armrest. 

Jaehyun looked up at her, the light falling on her and then reflecting in a circle around the crown of the throne, the golden spikes making her look like a Goddess, like an angel exploding with light of her own. A strong contrast compared to the blissful contorted look on her face and the not so sacred words spilling out of her plump lips. 

And the thought of serving her never weighed on his shoulders. He wouldn’t have complained if that was the only purpose in his life. Only existing for her, to serve his Queen, his Goddess. He would’ve given her his life if he had to. 

“More,” she whispered, voice low and filled with lust, but it didn’t come out like a beg, it was an order. Another one. As her ass slid halfway off the seat and her legs wrapped on his shoulders and his grip tightened on her hips and thighs, keeping her from falling. 

“Fuck,” she cursed, letting her fingers intertwine in his hair, holding tight, making him moan against her as his tongue kept working miracle on her, drunk in love, drunk in her, drinking her off like wine from the most precious grapes. 

And she couldn’t help but push him harder against her, getting high at the sight of him. Feeling her stomach twitch for how devoted he was. 

“Need you,” he whispered, pulling away from her, but she put him back in his place. 

“And I need you here, between my thighs,” she ordered, sultry voice coming out so harmonically Jaehyun felt his head spin. “Pray for me, love.”

And he obliged again, sucking her clit, licking her, slipping past her entrance, making her writhe and squirm. Feeling power slip from his reach more and more, letting himself go at her orders and hands guiding him into sinful perdition. It did feel like a religion, an unholy one, a religion that would’ve led them both to hell as sinners as they always have been. Daring the most powerful Gods, rising against them, and somehow always winning. And adding more immorality wasn’t going to make the pain of their eternity worse. So, they kept sinning. 

She was his religion. 

And right there, on his knees, between her legs, he was praying. 

He was devoted to her and her only because no other God ever looked over him like she did. Nobody else would’ve sacrificed so much of themselves for him. Nobody else would’ve given up their lives for him. 

Only in the crease of her body, he could find his redemption. Only in her sacred wine, he could get drunk. Only in her voice, he could find eternal forgiveness. 

He was, since ever and for eternity, her most devoted believer.  

Her hips started trembling, moving uncontrollably against him, and in a moment, she was boneless in his hands, crumbling apart as pleasure washed over, but it didn’t make her feel tired, it felt like a weird rush of power, of strength, of guilty pleasure, or probably pride. So much she truly felt like a Goddess at that very moment. 

“Did I prove it to you?” He asked when she let him go and his eyes locked into hers, chin still stained with her fluids. “Is this how you should treat a Queen?”  

A smirk curled her lips, “but I’m not a Queen, I’m a God,” she replied, cupping his chin and forcing him up, making him sit at her place, pushing him down with no grace. “A Queen is pliant, silent at her King’s side, she tends to submit more than to control,” she whispered against his ear. “Don’t you think so?” 

He hummed, “not you, not by my side.” 

She smirked again, pulling away from him. “Strip,” she ordered, looking down at him. 

Jaehyun gulped, shaky hands moving to unbutton his golden embroidered jacket, letting it fall to the side before he did the same with his pants. 

“Naked,” she said, eyes pointing at his underwear. “I want to see all of you.” 

And only when he was fully naked, she walked to him again, hands placing against the throne, lips close to his, breath fanning against them as she spoke, “how far can you show me how much you love me?” 

“As far as you want,” he replied with no hesitation, fighting the urge to touch her, to strip her naked too, slightly taken aback by this unexpected aura that surrounded her, she truly felt untouchable, like an outer being he simply was not worthy of being with. 

“Do you think you can satisfy me? Bring me to heaven and don’t let me fall?” 

“I can. I’d do anything for you,” he answered, moving forward to let their lips meet, but she pulled away. 

“Prove it to me,” she said, lifting her dress just enough so she could sit on top of him. “After that, maybe, you’ll get a taste. You have to earn a place in heaven, baby. Show the Gods just what you would do to get eternal safeness.”

And maybe they both needed to be saved from this hell they created, for the wrongfulness of their lives, for the sinful abyss they let their souls get dragged in, for putting love – a false god, sneaky, and dangerous – before the real one up there. For adding more sin on their judgment day. But that wasn’t coming anytime soon, so they were going to still worship what they had, cherish it with their hearts and love, mixing sacred and profane. Because dying in each other’s arms didn’t sound so bad, and not even spending eternity together, even if it meant burning in the pits of hell. 

So they were there, bodies intertwined, a tangle of flesh and skin and blood slamming hard against each other in that holy room that had seen hundreds of royals pass from those doors to consecrate their Highness and their power but never to let those shiny walls witness something as unholy as this. 

And the sounds rippling through their throats were even worst, moans, whimpers, chants of the Gods they were just profaning, begging for forgiveness that was never going to come, or probably, even more shamelessly, calling each other that. 

“Fuck,” Jaehyun muttered, letting his hands wrap around her covered waist, and his head fell back before he forced his eyes open to look at her. “I am crazy for you,” he confessed, moving closer to her, begging her to let him kiss him, to let her subject get a taste of those precious, soft lips that reminded him of the most tasteful cherries. And she let him because she didn’t need him to show how much he longed for her, how far he would’ve gone for her. She knew it. It was in the way he still stayed a step behind her. It was in the way he was her first supporter in everything. It was in the way she knew he wouldn’t have hesitated to stab somebody if they dared to hurt her. 

And Jaehyun didn’t particularly feel in a position of control that night, but he still dared to ask, beg her for something so big, a thought that now was tormenting him, “need to give you a child,” he whispered, looking straight into her eyes, feeling her breath falter and her walls tighten around him. Brain spinning at the sick idea of a being so high and graceful like her to let someone like him fill her womb with sacred life. “Yeah, you want that?” 

She nodded, letting her forehead collapse against him and her nails dig into the blades of his shoulders, sinking so deep she drew blood and made him hiss. 

“Want to let everyone know that – fuck – you let the commoner put another baby into you?” He teased, thrusts getting faster for what he could. “Such a generous Queen letting anybody take you, getting – shit – your blood stained with the most unworthy.” 

“You are not,” she replied, shutting him with a kiss, ravenous, eager, “you are by my side. You gained – fuck,” she whimpered when he hit particularly hard right where she was most sensitive. “You gained your spot in heaven, right next to my side.” 

He kissed her again, one hand slipped on the small of her back, pushing her closer, cursing she didn’t take off her dress because he wanted to feel her, mark her, stain her even more, with sin, with love, with the madness that their passion was. Somehow, he wanted to sink even deeper into her skin, not caring he already knew so much of her and had her impressed in the back of his mind. He needed more. 

“Need to see you full of me,” he muttered, “Need to see you walk around with my baby, round and full of our love. Need to – fuck – give you another one.” 

“Do it,” she screamed, “I’m yours,” she wept, “And yours only. Shit. Yours to keep. Fuck. Yours to lose,” she whimpered. “I’m yours, every inch of me,” her breath faltered, hands clasping in his hair, pulling him closer, standing eye to eye. “All of me, is for your eyes only.” 

And Jaehyun felt his heart lose a beat. This wasn’t one of their wishful thinking at night back in her chamber when he would have to go back into his room. These were the words of a Queen, his Queen. These words were real, she was his, and he was hers. In people’s eyes. In the fruit of their love. And soon even on papers. He was worthy of a Queen’s love. His Queen, the only one he could ever care about. The only one that truly felt deserving of that spot in his heart. And that was the last thing he needed. He was going to be by her side this time. He was going to be able to walk tall by her side, not behind. He would’ve seen her raise their love child and cherished her every day. 

And at that moment he truly realized how deep he was into her.

“I’m close,” her voice came out in a whisper as her head rolled back and she struggled to lift her body on him as the knot in her stomach tightened and her brain felt hazy. 

“I know,” he replied, “I can feel you tightening around me. I’m going to fill you up, fuck,” he moaned, hand reaching her neck and forcing her to look at him. “Will you take it? Will you carry the – ohh – the fruit of our love?”

“Yes,” she replied with no hesitation. “I will take anything from you.” And it was true, and she would’ve wondered when and how she became so vulnerable to him, what made their love become like this, but her brain wasn’t in the condition to think a single thought that made sense. 

“Then take it,” he moaned, making their lips meet again in a heated kiss as his hips kept thrusting hard against her. “Take my child.” And in a few seconds, he started spilling his seed inside of her, triggering her orgasm that exploded, vision blinding and ears buzzing as their sealed mouths muffled the high moans and screams that were being pushed out by their lungs. It felt so intense that everything around started to spin and yet, they couldn’t stop. 

It wasn’t enough. 

And greed sure wasn’t a virtue, but that night, they decided to put their morals behind them and keep burning in the flames of ruins. 

And they kept fucking, marking each other, not even thinking about the possibility of anybody walking in front of those doors and hearing them. Too lost in a world of their own, where all their fantasy came true, where everything was possible. 

Because it was good to be a Queen, but it was better to be a Goddess. 

The wedding preparations followed soon after. Jaehyun and Scarlett had no problem with wanting some more, but sealing a marriage as soon as possible was better for possible deals with other countries and also to legalize their relationship. And they weren’t complaining, they wanted this to happen too, but it was thrilling and scary at the same time. 

It was big, an event for the whole country to see. A celebration. Not just an intimate sealing of promise between them. And it would’ve also crowned Jaehyun King.

“It needs to be absolutely perfect,” Renjun said as he frenetically kept measuring her body, writing down her sizes and the ideas for the design of the wedding dress. He had spent the entire morning doing the same with Jaehyun, and now it was Scarlett’s turn. 

“It will, you have hands made of gold,” she tried to calm him down, but it served a little because Renjun was too caught up in all the things he had to do to try to calm down. He couldn’t. This couldn’t go wrong. It would’ve been such a big exposure for his tailoring shop, and also, he cared a lot for her, so he wanted to gift her the best dress he could create.   

Renjun hummed mindlessly, checking her once again. “Do not dare to get pregnant again before the big day, or I will kill you,” he warned. “Wait, can I? Will you go to jail if you kill your Monarch?” 

She laughed, “you’ll go to jail If you kill anybody, Jun.” 

“You would sentence me if I did?” 

“I’d have to,” she replied, shocked. 

“I imagined we would gain some kind of privileges knowing you,” Yuta chimed, diverting his attention from the book he was reading as he was – supposedly – looking after Eunbi that was also reading on the floor, in her case, watching the pictures on the pages. But it was the only thing that would keep her calm as she tried hard to comprehend the words written, so Yuta was fine like this. He wasn’t like Taeyong, or her parents, dealing with her peaks of hyper—activity drove him insane. 

“Not those kinds of privileges, you can’t kill people.” 

“Anyway,” Renjun bought her attention on him again, “no cake in the oven, got it?” 

“What makes you think I would?” She asked embarrassed, lowering her face and scratching her neck.  

“You will!” They replied together, screaming, staring at her with eyes wide open, making Eunbi turn over but her attention on her mother didn’t last long since she got back to her book immediately. 

“What are you talking about?” She asked, shaking her head. 

“You got embarrassed,” Renjun explained. 

“Are you trying for another one?” Yuta asked, walking closer to Scarlett, staring at her with a stunned expression. 

“What are you…” she huffed, jumping from the stool in the middle of the room. “Don’t say that, I don’t like to say that we are trying,” she explained. “Let’s say that we wouldn’t mind if it happened.” 

“Oh, wow, another one?” Yuta didn’t want to sound so… disgusted, but kids weren’t exactly his thing, and one was already more than enough for him. 

She rolled her eyes. “She’s three, almost four.” 

“But she’s a lot.” 

“We will be fine. I think I deserve a peaceful pregnancy with Jaehyun by my side,” she said, grinning at his traumatized expression. 

“Fine, I am very happy for you but please, not before the wedding,” Renjun still begged, he was booked with the modiste and now the preparations for the Queen’s wedding were just adding up, changing the dress last minute was the last thing he needed. 

“Don’t worry,” she replied with a calming tone, “it won’t grow big in three weeks.” 

“I hope so,” Renjun replied before widening his eyes. “Wait, you aren’t yet, right?” 

“No, I’m not,” she reassured him. “Well, I don’t think so.” 

He rolled his eyes and huffed loudly, “you two can’t be left alone for two seconds.” 

“Please, we had no time to be alone back then, let us live.”  

Yuta snickered. “The wedding is close, Renjun. I’m sure she will fit in the dress anyway.” 

“Exactly,” she agreed. “And since we are tight with time, can you please carry her to Taeyong?” She asked Yuta. “I have to plan things.” 

“Sure, also because I don’t think she will survive with me any longer,” Yuta said, walking toward the baby, reaching for her hand to walk out of the door. 

“A kiss to Mama,” she said before going out, running to Scarlett and jumping in her arms. 

“Be good with Yong, alright?” She warned, caressing her cheek and giving her another kiss. 

“Yes, Mama, I’ll be good. Bye,” she waved to her and Renjun before running to Yuta, grabbing his hand, and walking outside. 

“She’s lovely,” Renjun commented, tenderly staring at the door before turning back around. 

Scarlett hummed and then placed her hand on his shoulders, resting her chin on it, “and you’re coming with me, I need help.” 

“What about the dress?” 

“I’ll help you create it when you will start working on it,” she promised, doe-eying him. “Please, Injunnie.” 

“Fine, fine,” he gave up, waving her off and starting to pack his things. “I hate how unable I am to go against you.” 

She smiled. “We worked side by side for so long, do you think I will let this go?” 

“Enough,” he stopped her. “I would’ve helped you even without this tooth-rotting stuff.” 

Three weeks passed with more preparations for the great day and also new meetings with ambassadors and councillors. And now that the night before the big day arrived, they felt like they could finally breathe. They were so close to making this big step, something that they never imagined was possible, not between them at least. 

“Our last night as fiancées,” Scarlett joked, closing the door behind her, and walking toward Jaehyun that was looking outside of the balcony from the terrace. “Eunbi is quite thrilled at the thought of being our damsel,” she chuckled, leaning her head against his arm while Jaehyun wrapped it around her waist. “I think I’ll let her sleep with me tonight, it seemed she had no intention to calm down, not even with Taeyong.”

“Today the maids couldn’t convince her to get out of the dress,” Jaehyun giggled at the memory. It took her grandmother to convince her to take it off, only because she told her it had to be perfect and clean for the big day. 

“At least we know she’s getting used to this new life,” she breathed out, holding him tighter, feeling tranquil. This could’ve set her off completely but instead, Eunbi was getting used to the place and people pretty easily. Maybe it was her curious nature, for her this was just another occasion to take more from life and learn and discover. And Scarlett hoped that the news of a new child wasn’t going to be a terrible thing for her. 

“Don’t you think we should’ve asked her before?” 

Jaehyun furrowed, tilting his head to look at her. “About what?” 

“The other baby,” she whispered, pulling away to stare at him. 

“You think she won’t welcome a sibling?” 

She shrugged, crossing her arms on her chest, “I don’t know. What if it will get too much? What if she will feel pushed out of our lives? She has so much love and…” 

“You said it,” Jaehyun interrupted her, taking her hands in his and kissing them softly, “she has so much love, it won’t disappear. But if you feel safer, we can always ask her.” 

Scarlett hummed, looking down at the floor, squeezing his hands tighter. 

“Unless you are the one who’s not sure about this anymore,” he inquired, quirking a brow, trying to study her face, but he couldn’t see much of her until it snapped up. 

“What? No. I do want it. I want it with all of my heart. As scary as it is, I know I can do it another time with you by my side. I don’t think that I ever felt so much love as I did those months with her in my womb. It was terrifying, but also soothing, and warm. And I know that this time can only be better because I will have you.” 

“We can wait, we can…” 

“I don’t want to wait,” she stopped him. “I just think it would be fair to let her know. It will be a change in her life, and I cannot be sure she will accept it easily.” 

“Should we do this now? Before she goes to sleep with you?” 

When they opened the door of the big living room, they found Taeyong on the floor and Eunbi running around wearing a crown on her head and a fake wooden sword chasing after Doyoung. The eldest looked at them with a wrecked face and they laughed. 

“You are free to go,” Scarlett relieved him, walking toward him. 

“Mom look!” Eunbi screamed. “I’m a warrior princess and he’s the bad dragon.” 

Doyoung rushed to her parents, trying to hide behind them but Eunbi easily slipped between them and succeeded in her mission of ‘killing’ him. 

“No, you got me,” Doyoung cried, falling on his knee, pressing the sword against his rib with his arm. 

“You will never terrorize our lands ever again,” she declared, placing her feet on his thigh and her closed fist against her waist, looking proud with her head up. 

“You should go with your mother to her meetings, I’m sure other leaders will listen to you,” Jaehyun joked, kneeling at her side. 

“I only like to fight dragons and ride unicorns. Johnny Oppa promised to build me one soon,” she said, clapping her hands excitedly before she started running around again, playing with herself this time. 

Scarlett laughed, following her for a moment before her eyes got back on Taeyong’s wrecked face. “Tell me you’re not regretting being her main caretaker.” 

Taeyong smiled, finding the strength to stand up. “I will never regret it, but let’s say that I do hope the thrill of this new thing will fade with time because she had never been this excited over anything.” He was used to her, he had seen her grow, she felt like a daughter to him and Doyoung especially. He was always there, her first crawls, her first steps, her first dance moves, and he knew how energetic she could be, but she had never been this energetic. 

“She will calm down,” Scarlett reassured him. “You can go, we’ll deal with her from now on.” 

“Good luck,” Doyoung said, sending them a flying kiss before waving and walking outside with Taeyong, being grateful they all had a personal room to stay over for the night. 

“Little bird,” Scarlett called her, pretending to don’t see the tulle of her dress picking out of one of the armchairs where she was hiding. “Do you see her, Jae?” 

“I have no idea where she is,” he played along, starting to walk around the room and they had to suppress a laugh when they heard her chuckle. 

Eunbi peeked her head out to look at them and then jumped out, scaring them. 

“Oh, my,” Scarlett exclaimed, holding a hand on her chest, “you scared us. Where were you hiding, princess?” 

“A princess should never tell her secrets,” she played along before running to her and doing grabby hands to ask her mother to lift her up.

Jaehyun reached them and pocked her cheek playfully, making her throw her head back, giggling. “Should we go to sleep, now?” 

She whined, “but I’m not tired.” 

“But remember what day is tomorrow?” Her mother asked as they started to make their way to their chamber, Jaehyun would’ve slept in another room for the night so they could’ve gotten ready in the morning and then meet each other at the altar. “You can’t be tired, you have to walk down the aisle and throw the petals on the floor, and then we have to dance all day and eat delicious food.” 

“I know but I am excited,” she pouted, holding tight around her mother’s shoulders. “You look so pretty in the dress; Daddy doesn’t know how beautiful you are.” 

Jaehyun smiled, holding the door open to let them in first, and then closed it behind them. 

“That’s why we need to sleep and let the night pass fast,” he said while Scarlett put her down on the bed and he walked to the closet to hand her the clothes for the night. 

“I sleep with Mama?” She asked, only now realizing they weren’t in her room. 

“Yes,” she replied. “Are you happy?” 

“Yeah,” she cheered, swinging her feet on the mattress happily. “Then I… I can’t wait to go to sleep. I never sleep with you,” she said, trying to reach the buttons behind her dress to unlock them but Jaehyun was quick at helping her since she couldn’t arrive with her arms. “We don’t do that anymore.” It was rare, but occasionally, when Jaehyun was away and they both missed him too much, Eunbi would sneak into their bedroom and spend the night hugged to her mom. 

Scarlett stared at Jaehyun, her eyes letting him know all her fears, but he had always been better than her at dealing with these situations without letting emotions take over completely.

“It has been a rough time, honey,” he explained, lifting her dress up and then pushing her cotton camisole on her body to cover her up. “We can set one day of the week where we can do that. We can cook together like we used to do and then we can watch movies together in this big and soft bed.” 

Eunbi smiled brightly, crinkles of her eyes showing up and dimples popping out. “I love it!” 

Scarlett let out a small breath of relief and then moved closer to them, sitting on the bed right next to Jaehyun. 

“We need to ask you a thing,” Scarlett said, holding Jaehyun’s hand for support. 

“For tomorrow?” Eunbi asked, tilting her head to the side while her hands played with the soft fabric of the sheets in front of her. 

“More for life,” Jaehyun replied, making her furrow even more. 

“Would you mind to don’t being alone anymore?” Scarlett asked and Eunbi’s eyes drifted from her to Jaehyun, clearly confused. 

“But I am not alone,” she said, scratching her leg where she had a mosquito bite and Scarlett had to move her hand away so she wouldn’t have bled.  

“It’s not about the people that surround you, it’s about having another friend a little bit younger than you,” she tried to explain. 

“Will I go to school? Taeyong told me that. In kinder… kindergarden? Is it?” She asked, jumping on her spot, eyes lighting up in anticipation. 

“Also, maybe, we still have to think about that. But no, it’s in the family.” 

“Would you mind not being our only daughter?” Jaehyun got straight to the point when he understood that Scarlett couldn’t push those words out. 

Eunbi gasped and Scarlett almost felt like passing out but then breathed again when Eunbi’s lips curled in a smile, and she got up. “Like — like me being a sister?” 

“Do you know what a sister is?” 

Eunbi hummed enthusiastically, “Juliet is the big sister, she has many siblings.” 

“Oh, I missed that. And would you be fine with that?” 

“Yes!” She cheered. “Aunt July says it’s like always having a friend with you. Will I have it too?” She asked, starting to slightly jump up on the mattress. 

Scarlett turned to Jaehyun smiling at him. “Well, we are hoping to be gifted with another baby soon.” 

“Yes! I want one, I want to be their best friend. How are we calling it?” 

“Calm now,” Scarlett chuckled, “the baby is not here yet, we don’t even know when we’ll have it.” 

“Can I have a sister?” She still asked, ignoring her mother’s words and jumping happily on the mattress trying to keep the balance on her legs. 

Jaehyun chuckled, she was always so enthusiastic over everything, he only wished she was never going to lose that sparkle. 

“You can’t pick that, what will come will come.” 

Eunbi pouted but then hugged her mom. “I can’t wait to meet them.” 

“We can’t wait either,” they both replied, squeezing her in a tight hug. 

The garden of the royal palace never looked so intimidating, and yet, breathtaking, in Scarlett’s eyes. Her heart was thudding loudly in her chest, so loud that she could feel it more than the march that already started playing. And having Johnny’s arm around her, wasn’t enough to make her feel supported to take the first step forward and start to walk down the open—air aisle. 

“Breathe in and breathe out,” Johnny whispered, squeezing her hand in support and making her do the step of no turning back. Somehow, she felt more anxious now than four weeks before when she had to swear to protect her land and people. 

Seeing Eunbi walk in front of them, throwing petals in her little lilac dress with purple calla lilies adorning her curls and watching her skipped steps as she couldn’t control hopping instead of walking, and seeing Jaehyun waiting for her at the altar, made her breath get stuck in her throat. 

She couldn’t even be bothered by how public it all was, how many people they didn’t know were there, and how this was more than just a love vow but also something political. It mattered on papers, but it didn’t matter in her heart. 

And Jaehyun couldn’t help but smile, eyes glistening as he stared at her. She was walking gracefully toward him, small steps, insecure even, and he could imagine that she was leaning on Johnny more than she should’ve. Her manicured hands wrapped around the cascading bouquet with roses, calla lilies, and daisies, and if she held just a bit tighter, she would’ve ruined the stems. Yet, even with the small clumsy acts only he knew, she still looked angelic. The white dress hugged her chest and then fell soft on her round hips, the details in lace on the corset and the puffy shoulders were extremely complex with flower patterns and diamonds sewed on them. And he couldn’t see her face, hidden behind the white veil, but he knew that she looked amazing as always. 

Eunbi reached the altar first, sending a flying kiss to her father and then sitting with her grandmother and half of the boys on the other side. 

When Scarlett reached him, and Johnny lifted her veil and bowed to him before sitting on her side of the aisle, Jaehyun fell in love again. That day, just like he did by now five years before during one of those nights where their love was cursed and impossible. And he surely never imagined being able to love her in plan daylight, he never imagined standing by her side on the altar as her future husband and not as her bodyguard. But here they were, and he felt his heart so full of joy, love, and even incredulity, that it could burst. 

“You’re beautiful,” he whispered, making her lower her head to hide a shy smile. He had spent nights and days reminding her that, and yet, those words still sounded like the first time, they made her heart flip in her chest and shivers run down her spine. 

“You too,” she replied before they both turned around, facing the priest. Scarlett handed the bouquet to Eunbi and then the ceremony started. 

And when the time for the vows arrived, they faced each other, holding their hands together and looking into each other’s eyes. 

“I, Jaehyun, take you, Scarlett, for my lawful wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part. I will love and honour you all the days of my life.”

“I, Scarlett, take you, Jaehyun, for my lawful husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part. I will love and honour you all the days of my life.”

Eunbi shily got up and walked to the altar, handing the wedding rings to the priest so he could bless them and then offered them to Jaehyun. He grabbed one with shaky hands, beaming at the sight of their names engraved in the band and the small diamond in the middle, and then placed it on her finger, saying, “In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Take and wear this ring as a sign of my love and faithfulness.”

Scarlett held her breath, trying to hold back the tears that were threatening to run down her cheeks, and then grabbed the other ring, gently held his hand, and let it slide on his finger, “In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Take and wear this ring as a sign of my love and faithfulness.”

“You have declared your consent before the Church. May the Lord in his goodness strengthen your consent and fill you both with his blessings. That God has joined, man must not separate. Amen,” the priest declared. “And by the power vested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife.” 

“I imagine I can kiss you now?” Jaehyun chuckled, leaning closer to her, and she hummed before leaning in completely, letting their lips meet in a chaste kiss that only lasted for a few seconds as the crowd erupted in cheers and claps and a march started playing, signaling the ending of the ceremony. 

They turned around, hands tightened together, and Scarlett reached out to signal Eunbi to reach them and carry with her the bouquet as they walked back down the aisle, waving at people. 

“I’m so glad you never stopped fighting for our love, you know, right?” He whispered, the world fading for a moment. 

“It was the best choice I have ever taken in my entire life,” she replied, smiling brightly, feeling full, feeling like this was finally the place where they belonged and nothing, absolutely nothing could tear them apart.

“I’m wrecked,” Scarlett huffed, slumping on their bed, kicking the shoes in a corner, the dress falling all around her. 

“It must be tiring to be a Queen,” Jaehyun joked, walking toward her, standing at the end of the bed. “Guess you are too tired to have our first time on our wedding night.” 

“Oh, my Lord, you do have to know I am very scared since this is my first time,” she joked and they burst out laughing as she turned around and crawl toward him. “I had to hold back a laugh today when the priest asked If we were willing to accept children. What does he think we did with Eunbi?” 

“Shut up, I heard you snicker, that was so unprofessional.” 

“But it was just too funny, imagine if he knew I’m probably already knocked up with the second one.” 

“I don’t think we will be this lucky this time,” Jaehyun chuckled before raising a brow. “Wait, do you feel it?” 

She shrugged, fixing the dress and sitting in the middle of the bed, the pompous fabric taking all the space around her. “I didn’t feel her for six months I won’t lie to you and say that I feel a potential peas—sized fetus now.” 

“Then I guess we will have to try so hard to be sure we will accept children,” he cooed, leaning down to kiss her. “I promise first times are not so terrible if you have somebody loving you, my lovely wife.” 

She chuckled, pushing him off playfully and falling back on the mattress, “do you want me to confess to you something?” 

Jaehyun hummed, starting to unbutton his suit. 

“You were my first time.” 

“Well, do I have to say I am surprised? It is not like you had many boys to sneak around with.” 

“Yeah, but I never told you. You should be grateful for that,” she pouted. 

“I am grateful for having you by my side,” he replied. 

“I was trying to get in the mood of getting you excited over the fact no man ever touched me like that,” she teased, lifting his chin and kissing him.

He smiled, snickering before he pushed her down again, trapping her with his broad body. “You don’t want me to be jealous on our honeymoon night.” 

“You have nothing to be jealous about,” she said, letting her hand travel on his toned chest, “but you have something to brag about. I’m sure there are a few men that wished to be in your place, today even,” she smirked, referring to all the Princes, Dukes, and Kings that were invited to their wedding and mostly all of them had been in the list of her proposed husband. 

“Trust me, I know,” he smirked, starting to trail kisses on her neck. “They would come to me,” he confessed, lips traveling in the hollow of her chest, “asking for advice. Asking me what would’ve made you fall.” 

“And I hope you advised them wrong.” 

He chuckled. “It’s not a very wise thing to do. I was honest,” he confessed, pulling away for a moment to let his hand move behind her and undo the strings of her corset. “I would tell them how much you loved irises,” he whispered, unfastening the strings and pulling the dress off of her body slowly, “I would tell them how much you enjoyed playing the piano and singing with your ladies,” he pushed it off, folding it for the better before placing it on the closest armchair before going back to her. The white laced lingerie the only thing covering her body now. “I would tell them that you could talk about philosophy all day long and never get tired of it,” he whispered, hands running over her bare legs and lips doing the same. “I would tell them you loved strolling in the park and go the small lake with the ducks,” he stopped, right over her core, “I didn’t tell them you named each one of them, though.” 

She giggled, she had completely forgotten she did that. “We picked them together,” she exclaimed, remembering the afternoon when instead of strolling with the ton where her father wanted her to be, she escaped as always with Jaehyun and made ‘new friends.’ 

“We did,” he replied, smiling and then picking up his path on her body. “They also don’t know about your collection of poems, the ones you used to write when we would travel for hours, or at night when you couldn’t sleep.” 

“So you did keep secrets.” 

“I had to keep a little piece of you all to myself,” he confessed, coming close to her face again. “I was more than sure they would’ve found it out soon by themselves when I would’ve lost you completely.” 

“But you didn’t.��� 

“I didn’t.” 

Her breath faltered when his lips started kissing her mound, soft and wet over the see—through pattern of her panties before he slowly pulled them off of her, leaving her bare, and his nose nuzzled against the soft short layer of hair before moving down to her lips. 

“Jaehyun,” she breathed out, rolling her head back and moving a hand in his hair. 

“They don’t know how good you taste,” he whispered, breath fanning against her wetness, the contrast making shivers run down her spine and spread her legs wider. “They don’t know how much you love this,” he added, starting to move his mouth on her again, slow, not leaving out a single patch of sensitive skin, bringing her closer and closer to heaven. 

“They will never hear your pretty moans,” he said, pulling away again, leaving her whimpering and whining at the loss, hips bucking up, trying to meet him, wanting to feel him again. “What do you want, darling?” He asked as his fingers traced up on her thighs to her belly and then down, so close to where she was pulsing just for him. 

“Need you, please,” she begged, eyes open, staring at him, and hands daring to reach out and move his fingers there, and Jaehyun let her, watching attentively as she guided him on her dripping pussy and their hands started moving together. 

“You want this so slow?” 

“Yeah, I don’t want to rush tonight,” she confessed, still looking at him. “This is our night. I want it to be – fuck – special.” 

“Let me do it, then,” he smiled, moving her hand away, placing it at her side and picking up the movements on her as he leaned down and his lips attached to her wet folds again. His lips moving on her, dancing to a rhythm that drove her insane, following steps he knew by heart. And he kept going for so long, getting intoxicated by her until all her walls came falling down. 

They weren’t close to being done, and she already felt on cloud nine, eyes rolled in the back of her head while from her lips low pitched moans rolled out of them as the first orgasm washed over her. 

Jaehyun smirked as he slowly pulled away from her body, licking his lips and staring at her. “You’re so beautiful,” he whispered, meeting her eyes before leaning in and making their mouths meet in a slow but needy kiss. And just as needy were their hands that swiftly moved to get rid of the last pieces of underwear they were wearing, marking each other’s skin as they rolled in the bed. 

“I know this is, hmm, not our first night,” he panted through their kisses, “but I want to, want to make it special. Want to take it slow.” 

She hummed against his lips, wrapping her legs around his waist, and her hands in his hair, “Love me like you never loved me before,” she whispered, caressing his cheek with her thumb. “Love me like you would lose me but knowing that nothing will tear us apart.” 

So, he did, easing himself inside her with no struggle he let their bodies intertwine, and surely that wasn’t the first time, but it still felt special. It was special. After all, it was the sign of a new beginning for them, a new life, a new era where they were equal not only in their hearts but also on paper and in people’s eyes. 

“Fuck,” he mumbled, looking at her face contorted in pleasure, “I’m so lucky to have you.” 

A warm smile curled her lips as her eyes forced open slightly to stare back at him, but she didn’t say a thing back, just letting the compliment comfort her and his love fill her up. 

“Are you truly mine? All mine?” He asked, still in disbelief. 

“Yours, always and forever,” she replied, kissing him, muffling their moans, as she let go even more in his warm embrace and the way his cock was dragging in and out of her body increasingly faster, so good to get her head spinning. 

And more praises and promises rolled out of Jaehyun’s tongue, sealing into the night, writing themselves down with only the stars and moon to testify. Promises of forever. Promises of a bond that was never going to break. A bond that neither time, or sickness, or death could do apart. It wasn’t til death but beyond death.

“I’m, I’m,” the words died in her throat as her glossy eyes stared up at Jaehyun but he didn’t need her to say anything to know she was close, it was in the way her body was shaking underneath him like a leaf in winter and the way she was clenching hard around him.  

“Yeah, love?” He smiled, thumb caressing her cheek and the fingers of his other hand digging into her waist as he pressed her body more against the mattress, hips slamming hard against her ass as his cock filled her up perfectly. “You’re close, right? Want to come already?” 

“Yes,” she breathed out with a shaky voice, legs pushing him closer to her body, hips bucking up to meet him mid—way and nails dragging against the skin of his back, marking him. 

“Come, but know I’m nowhere done with you,” he said. “Gonna fuck you all night,” he groaned against her lips, “gonna fill you up until you can’t take me anymore. Will make sure I’ll be the only one in your mind once I’m done with you.” 

And those words send her over the edge, the possessiveness, his need, his rawness, always drove her crazy, no matter how much she knew there was nothing to prove and nobody that could ever take his place in her life.

And the only thing she could do was to writhe under him and take his first load. 

But he didn’t stop. Jaehyun kept his promises of going on and fuck her over and over again, turning her brain into nothing, turning each other into nothing but a mere extension of the other, blending into one another, becoming a mess into each other’s hold, not knowing where one started and the other ended. 

And they lost count of how many times they came, the remains of their passion on the mess they made on the sheets and their tired bodies.

But it didn’t matter, nothing mattered anymore if not them. 

That was only the begging. 

July had been filled with plans. Taking care of a reign in shambles was hard. Scarlett could’ve never imagined her father let it go so badly, but slowly, she was pulling pieces back together with new policies, laws that protected workers and their economy, more exchanges with some other neighbouring reigns and so on. 

“You should spend some time at our house in the countryside, sweetheart,” her mother had told her one day, entering the war room and watching her stress out over some documents she couldn’t find. 

“No, we can’t,” she replied, head between papers as she silently prayed her father didn’t lose anything. “Maybe you, Jaehyun and Eunbi could go. She needs a break.” 

“She?” The ex—monarch asked, raising a brow. “She’s doing more than fine. Sure, spending days stressing the maids because she follows them everywhere and wants to help with everything, but she’s fine.” 

Scarlett chuckled for a moment, thinking about her daughter and then how little she was seeing her lately. And it wasn’t because she was busy, not only for that at least, but because it was true that Eunbi became friends with anybody there. The other day she even started talking with the master of horses and had already asked him if she could learn how to ride. 

“Maybe you can take her downtown,” she added, opening another folder, and skimming through it. “She needs somebody her age to play with, can’t stress everybody here.” 

Her mother sighed, walking closer to her, helping her to look through the files once she told her what she was looking for. “Talking about other kids,” she started, a small smirk curling her lips, creating more wrinkles on her tired face. “Jaehyun’s not so good at keeping secrets.” 

Scarlett huffed, rolling her eyes, slamming a folder close, infuriated she still didn’t find what she was looking for. 

“I’m not pregnant,” she replied, looking at her. Her warm brown eyes, her grey hair styled in five neat cornrows wrapped in a low bun behind her head, lips tinted of a deep red still pulled in her usual smirk saying, ‘I am your mother, I know.’ 

“Don’t give me that look,” she said. 

“I am not giving you any look, I am just saying that is not recommended for a pregnant woman to be this stressed.” 

“But I am not,” she complained, trying to put the scattered papers in place to at least don’t have more mess on the table. 

“Are you sure? You look tired.” 

“I am, and not because of a baby. You cannot feel it, you didn’t realize it with Eunbi.” 

“I had no idea you did anything physical. Sorry, I imagined you a vir–“ 

“Enough,” she stopped her, lifting her finger up. “Mom, I am fine. Thank you for your concerns, but they are not necessary.” 

She hummed, and then lifted a paper, “is this what you were looking for?” 

Scarlett looked over, eyes squeezing to read better the writing on it. “Yes, how did you find it? I’ve been looking for it for hours.” 

Her mother smiled, shrugging, “It’s a mother thing.” 

She smiled and then hugged her without thinking. It wasn’t something they were used to doing, probably they only hugged three times their entire life, but it was nice. 

“If you find out, let me know this time.” 

“I didn’t mean to hide it from you. You know who you have to blame.” 

“I know,” she replied before walking to the other side of the door. “My offer still stands, think about it. Maybe you and your lovely husband want to try in more… peace,” she winked and before Scarlett could curse, she went out of the door. 

But Scarlett sighed, letting her body rest against the long oval wooden table, placing a hand on her side before her hand unconsciously moved on her stomach. 

“No,” she exclaimed out loud, standing up straight, and shaking her head. She wasn’t tired because she was pregnant. The headaches, the fatigue she felt, the bloating, nothing was related to another kid, right? Her last period arrived, but she also got it meant nothing, and also that was by now a month ago, so if this month skipped… “it’s not the time and place to think about that,” she scolded herself, turning her attention to her papers again. 

Her mind, though, couldn’t keep the same focus for the rest of the day, always drifting on something else, thinking that the idea of taking it with more calm wasn’t so bad, but that meant she needed to get things done now. So, she had decided to leave, deal with some outer problems now that she could and then come back, and if it was needed take some time to rest.

Seeing Eunbi cry tore her heart in two, it was bad even when Jaehyun had to leave, but she had never been without her mother, not for so long at least, and it hurt her a lot too, but it was necessary. But it made her think for the whole ride if maybe Eunbi got too excited over things without thinking them through. Sure, it was natural for a baby, but maybe she did that too much. And once again she wondered if the idea of adding another member to their family was a smart thing to do. 

“You look terrible,” Donghyuck pointed out midway to another reign. 

“And you are always nice.” 

“No, I am saying that you look stressed, worried. Is everything alright?” 

“Yeah, I am just thinking about these meetings that we have. I’m not really sure how I am going to win some people back after what my father had done,” she lied, forcing a smile on her face and then looking out of the window. 

She just wanted these two weeks to pass fast, seal those deals so she wouldn’t have to worry about those other countries anymore, and then go back home to her family. 

Little did she know, she wouldn’t have come back alone. 

“Why are you walking back and forth like this?” Jaehyun asked her. They were outside, enjoying an afternoon tea while Eunbi ran around with some of her maids and occasionally showed them some flowers she picked up or ranted about some insect she caught. But Scarlett seemed off, she seemed off for a while now, but she shrugged it off with work any time he would bring the topic up. 

“I have a weird feeling,” she confessed. Turning around to sit next to him on the white chair. 

“Weird as in bad or good?” He asked, raising a brow, placing the journal he was reading on the table next to him. 

“Good… I guess,” she replied. “I feel weird.” 

Jaehyun stared at her, he wanted to ask her if it was related to a possible pregnancy but didn’t, for some reason, he was terrified of touching the wrong buttons and setting her off. He didn’t want to seem too apprehensive over the thing. They already fucked enough in any possible occasion they had, so he truly didn’t think it was necessary to remind her about it and point out that nothing still happened. More anxiety was the last thing she needed.  

“We can call the doctor.”

She huffed, rolling her eyes. “I’m not sick, not for…” she sighed, waving him off and starting to walk again. “My period skipped,” she confessed with no hesitation and Jaehyun almost risked a heart attack, slamming his flat palm against his chest while he coughed. 

“What? And what were you waiting at telling me that?” 

“I don’t know. I wanted to be sure but I’m like four weeks late now, so unless my hormones are messing with me for other reasons…” 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” He asked again, voice weirdly high. 

“I was waiting for other signs; I don’t want to give your hopes up. I feel weird but not... I don’t know how to explain,” she clarified, running a hand through her hair. “I don’t feel extremely bad but I do feel different but I don’t know if it’s all in my head because I want it so much. I’ve read somewhere that one of the reasons some women find out later that they’re pregnant, as had happened withEunbi, it’s because the body rejects it and what if the opposite is possible too? That I’m simply going crazy and sensing things?” 

“First of all, don’t stress about it,” he comforted her. “But you are always sleepy lately, isn’t that a sign?” 

“But I also work a lot, it may mean absolutely nothing.” Tearing apart the symptoms of pregnancy and all the anxiety she felt due to the rhythm of being a newly set Queen was hard. She had come back from the trip and was beyond tired, not being able to sleep a lot in other countries. And even when she came back she had many things to set up and Donghyuck’s help wasn’t enough, and he also had his kingdom to deal with. 

Jaehyun quirked a brow, trying to think about something more that had happened during the past days. He was keeping a closer look on her, not to sound like a psycho but considering how much they were doing it, and for how long, they had to have fit a fertile window. And, considering they didn’t have problems with conception and fertility, it was just a matter of time. He didn’t want to be paranoic, he simply wanted to make sure she was alright. 

“You are moodier,” he dared to say, hoping she wouldn’t get mad. “And didn’t you scream the other day when Eunbi accidentally hit your boob?” 

“And?” 

“Sore breasts? Isn’t that another sign?” 

She nodded and then chuckled, “how do you know all those things?” 

Jaehyun shrugged, he wasn’t going to tell her he had asked around and informed himself just to be ready. Pregnancy was a painful thing, it wasn’t only rainbow and roses, and since he wasn’t the one going through that, the least he could do was try to help her as much as possible, and being informed was the only way. 

“Should we call a doctor? Or should I take a test?” Scarlett asked, fumbling with her fingers nervously.

“It’s up to you, love.” 

“What if… what if I am not?” 

“That would be fine anyway. Nobody’s running after us.” 

“But I…” she sighed, running a hand on her face, giving up on finishing the sentence. “Let’s take a test then.” 

“Great, but no tears if it’s negative, alright? We are already blessed with one, and then we can always keep on trying. I surely do not mind having so much fun with you,” he joked, winking before pulling her close in a kiss. 

Some days later they were walking back and forth in their bedroom, impatiently waiting for the result to show on the test sitting on the windowsill.

“Can you look at it for me?” Scarlett asked when enough minutes passed. 

Jaehyun hummed, gathering the courage to walk toward it, never feeling so scared in his entire life. Yes, he truly believed what he had told her, they were young and had so many other changes, but a part of him just couldn’t wait. He wanted to meet their new baby as soon as possible. 

So he picked the test up, closed his eyes, and scrolled it from the fluid before taking a deep breath and lifting it just enough so he could see the results. 

And his heart skipped a beat as his body stilled mouth open, eyes incredulous and hands shaking. 

“So? Is it negative?” Scarlett asked from behind him, worried about his reaction. “Babe?” 

Jaehyun turned around, moving his lips to speak but he couldn’t find the words, tears starting to fall from his eyes before he could stop. 

“Babe?” Scarlett asked rushing to him. 

“We’ll be parents again,” he breathed out, snapping from his block, making her stop in her tracks, now being the one in utter shock. 

“I’m… I’m pregnant?” 

“Yes, babe. You’re carrying our kid again.” 

Scarlett brought her hands to her mouth in disbelief and started crying too before running the few steps that divided her from him and falling into his arms. 

“I can’t believe this is happening,” Jaehyun whispered, voice muffled against her hair as he held her tight. “I’ll be here with you. I’ll watch you change and do something so brave for us.” 

She smiled, more happy tears running down her cheeks, snuggling closer to him, inhaling his scent deeply. 

This was how it was supposed to go. 

With him by his side. Feeling safe and protected. Feeling in the right place in the world. 

This time nothing bad would’ve happened, she wouldn’t have had to walk miles with a heavy heart and mourn him, and she wouldn’t have to give birth to their child in a small living room risking her life. 

“Are you happy?” Jaehyun asked and she nodded against his chest, hugging him tighter. 

“I can’t wait to do this with you and Eunbi by my side.” 

It turned out that having Jaehyun by her side was probably more stressful than helpful considering how paranoid over everything he would get. Rarely leaving her side, always making sure she was feeling fine, proposing to take some matters into his hands since he was the King too and he didn’t want her to overwork herself. 

But it was fun, seeing him so considerate. 

And what was nicest was the way his hand always found a way to wrap around her stomach. 

He was obsessed with it, caressing her on any given occasion, or walking two fingers on her covered skin when they were laying in bed, making silly voices. He couldn’t care that there wasn’t a bump yet, he knew their baby was inside and that was all he cared about. 

But his obsession was exactly the giveaway for other people to be suspicious. Nobody knew officially, Scarlett was superstitious and wanted to keep it a secret until the risk of miscarriage started to lower, and considering she was at the th week it was just a matter of time before they could’ve made it official, but everybody could see it anyway from the way they changed. 

How she was much more careful. How she cut off some foods from her diet. How she was more tired, and also how much Jaehyun insisted for her to sleep when she felt the need to, assuring her he could take over for a while. How Jaehyun always prepared tea for her in the afternoon. 

When they delivered the news, it was a Saturday night in late August, they decided to do a cosy dinner all together with no other people around. 

“So, I guess there’s a reason behind this?” Johnny said when they were almost done, the cake was the only thing left to eat – much to Eunbi’s happiness. 

“What?” Scarlett played dumb. “We always used to do this back at home. We’ve simply been busy.” 

“Yeah, busy fuck—” Yuta started before Taeyong slapped a hand on his mouth. 

“There’s a kid,” he reminded him, glaring at him. 

“Sorry, Jesus,” he whined, rolling his eyes and head back. 

“Well, he is correct, though,” Scarlett chuckled, placing her hand on Jaehyun’s, making Taeyong’s gaze fall there.

“No,” Taeyong whispered in shock, mouth open. “For real?” 

“We are waiting for another baby,” Jaehyun announced, eyes running over his friends. 

“Oh, thank God we don’t have to pretend we don’t know it anymore,” Johnny exclaimed, clapping. 

“You knew?” They exclaimed with Taeyong. 

“Why was I the only one who didn’t?” Taeyong asked, head snapping left and right to glare at all his friends.

“Yeah, and how you knew it,” she asked, turning around to look at Jaehyun but he raised his hands. 

“I kept my mouth shut.” 

“We could feel it,” Mark explained, a big smile on his face, “he’s always next to you and he always has a hand around your tummy. Remember that this is how I found out about Eunbi?” 

At hearing her name, Eunbi raised her head, furrowing as she tried to understand what they were talking about, she wasn’t really listening, too busy eating the cake and playing a story in her mind between the small fork and spoon. 

“Me?” 

“Yeah, the first one in this room that knew about you was uncle Mark,” her mom explained and she smiled widely. 

“And Daddy?” 

“I wasn’t there, unfortunately,” Jaehyun said, a bitter smile on his face. A new baby was never going to replace the fact that he never felt her kick in Scarlett’s belly, couldn’t sing her songs and didn’t live it by their side. He knew it wasn’t his fault, he also knew that it was a miracle that they found each other again, but it still hurt him, nonetheless. 

“But you were always there with me, Dada.” 

“Once you were out.” 

“Out? Out of the door?” 

They all laughed, shaking their heads at her cute, confused expression and her cream—stained lips. 

“Tell me we won’t have that talk right now?” Yuta asked and Scarlett waved him off. 

“Before being here in the world, every being spends some time in their mom’s tummy,” Scarlett started explaining. 

Her mouth opened. “You had me there?” She asked, pointing at her tummy and Scarlett nodded. 

“And right now, there’s somebody else here.” 

“Inside you?” 

“Yeah.” 

“It moved in?” 

They all burst laughing, she was so innocent and yet curious it was funny how she tried to come up with a solution even if she had no idea what they were talking about. 

“No, baby, it doesn’t work like this, you can’t get back there,” she said. 

“Then who’s there? Do we know them?” 

“Not yet,” Jaehyun said. “In around five months you’ll meet them.” 

“And remember what we said some time ago? About you not being alone anymore,” Scarlett asked. 

Eunbi’s eyes lightened up, only now starting to realize where this was going. “There’s my sister!” She screamed, letting the spoon fall and standing up on the chair, making Jaehyun wrap a hand around her so she couldn’t fall. “You made my sister! I didn’t know you can make them in your belly.” 

“Yes, let’s say it works like this,” Scarlett cut that short, reaching for her to stop her from jumping on the spot – damned habit when she was excited. “And we don’t know if it’s going to be a sister. You can’t decide, remember?” 

She furrowed again, “But you made her, you can make her how you like. Can she be shorter than me? I want to be the tallest.” 

“Okay, let’s not start, now,” Scarlett chuckled. “It’s not that easy, you decide to have a baby but how it comes out it’s all up to destiny.” 

“Who’s destiny? Do we know her?” 

“Bibi,” Jaehyun chuckled, trying to make her understand but it was just too funny to keep a straight face, especially when the others were all bent in two laughing. 

“No, we don’t know her. We know Désirée, Yuta’s girlfriend,” she said, placing a hand under her chin trying to think if she met anybody named destiny. 

Yuta choked on his saliva, “Hey! That’s not true.” 

“You were with her the other day downtown,” she retorted. “They spent all the time talking about travels and she said she wants to see the rest of the world.” 

“That doesn’t mean that... ugh. Why is she so nosy?” He asked her parents and they shrugged. 

“Going back to the baby,” her mother said, bringing Eunbi’s attention to her again to leave poor Yuta to breathe. “You have to be patient. With time, we’ll find out if it’s a boy or a girl and in some years, we’ll see who will be the tallest, alright?” 

“I will be. Look, I’m so big right now. How tall is she? How can she fit in you if she’s big? Oh my,” she gasped, “is she pushing you?” She asked worried, reaching forward to touch her mother’s belly and caress it. 

“No, she’s too small to move for now,” she replied. “Wait, stop saying she, we don’t know. We’ll use them, fine? Do you like it?” 

She hummed, happily. “If she hurts you tell me, I’ll tell her that noooobody can touch Mama.” 

They all chuckled affectionately at her words, smiling tenderly when she made grabby hands and let Scarlett take her in her arms. 

“When they’ll start moving you can always singe them a lullaby, or caress the belly, it will calm them,” Jaehyun said, caressing her cheek. 

“Can I sing her our song?” 

Scarlett dropped her shoulders at her using ‘she’ again but chuckled. It was clear that she really wanted a sister. 

“You can sing them everything you want, baby,” Jaehyun said. 

“Then can we go to bed, now? You can sing us the song so we’ll both fall asleep together,” she asked, pouting. 

“Is this what we have to do to make you go to sleep early?” Taeyong asked, shocked she was the one proposing to go to bed. 

“I’m good,” she huffed, crossing her arms and pouting at him. 

“But you always put up a scene when it’s time to sleep,” he sang, wiggling his head, making faces at her, making her laugh. 

“But we have so many things to do,” she whined, placing her hands on the table and lifting the weight of her body on them to get closer to Taeyong. “I was chasing butterflies and you made me go to bed.” 

“You’ve been chasing butterflies?” Jaehyun asked, gently caressing her back. 

“Yeah, they were all so… so…” she stopped, thinking of the word, “with colours and pretty.” 

“They were colourful, was that what you were trying to say?” Scarlett asked. 

“Yeah, colourful!” 

“We’ll put her to sleep and then we’ll come back,” Jaehyun said, signaling her to jump off her mom’s lap.

“Oh, you’re back already,” Doyoung noted, eyeing the clock and seeing that had passed just ten minutes since they left. 

“Well, she was tired for the day and said she was trying to meet the baby in her sleep, so,” Scarlett explained, giggling, before sitting back on her seat. 

“We’re all very happy for you, by the way,” Johnny said, smiling at his friends. “We couldn’t wait for you to drop the big news, suspecting it but not being able to say anything was kind of killing us.” 

They smiled, holding hands. “I just wanted to be sure to be over the big risks of miscarriage, you know... the other one is not the news you want to tell people after you gave them this one.”

They hummed, getting her point. “But talking about happy things,” Mark said, leaning closer to her, “How do you feel? Have you picked a list of names yet? Would you prefer a boy or a girl? Come on, tell us how it’s going.”

Jaehyun rolled his eyes and Scarlett chuckled, “God, you haven’t changed a bit.”   

Taking advantage of the baby’s bump not being so big for now, they had decided to do the changes in the palace as soon as possible. Her mother proposed to call somebody else, but they didn’t want to. They basically built an entire house from scratch, their first place, so they could surely adjust two rooms. 

“We’ll bring you closer to us, but not too much, so if the baby screams or cries at night you won’t hear a thing,” Scarlett said, explaining to Eunbi why they picked the room at the end of the corridor to be hers and not the one right next to their chamber. The walls were thick, but a baby was still a baby, and even if they were just born their lungs were so strong you could hear them from miles. 

“I like this,” she said, looking around; it was bigger than the other she had and had a big balcony that let a lot of light wash in even if there was a fence that didn’t let her have access outside. 

“This was the room where I used to play the piano and study,” Scarlett reminisced. It was now empty, ready to move Eunbi’s things in, but it was still filled with memories. 

“Your mom spent her days here,” Jaehyun said as he pushed her bed against the wall, fixing the light lilac drape that fell from the structure of the bed shaped like a house. “She always played the piano and sang.” They looked at each other, smiling tenderly, thinking back at their past days spent there. 

“And you listened to her?” She asked, running to him to give him some pillows to place on her already made bed. 

“I was there to protect her, but yeah, I used to get lost in her voice. Don’t tell her,” he whispered, “but she had the most angelic voice I’ve ever heard.” 

Eunbi giggled, and Scarlett smiled, “I heard you.” 

“Oops, and wait until she finds out that made me fall for her.” 

“Can you sing for me, Mama?” 

“We have your room to decorate.” 

“We sing and decorate,” Eunbi proposed, already walking to the pile of boxes with her things. “There’s no shaking horse,” she whined, looking around and not seeing it. 

“I told Johnny she was going to find out immediately,” Jaehyun said. “Remember that you wanted it to be a unicorn?” She nodded. “Johnny’s making a miracle, that’s why it’s not here.” 

“Oh, I knew he would, he promised me,” she cheered happily, now calm, knowing nobody took it away from her. 

“Why don’t we take care of your playing corner?” Scarlett proposed, walking to the other side of the room. “We’ll hang that drape and then we’ll put that big, fluffy, round cushion right under it.” 

“Here,” Eunbi said, giving her the pink drape, “Don’t fall,” she warned when her mother climbed on a ladder to insert the tent around the round wire hanging from the ceiling. 

“Scarlett,” Jaehyun called her, “what did we say about you doing those things?” 

“I’m fine,” she huffed. “Here, it’s hanged,” she reassured them both, climbing down and pushing the ladder to the side. 

“You’re going to be the death of me,” Jaehyun muttered, going back to the other side to assemble the small heart—shaped library. 

“Daddy’s too paranoic,” she chuckled as Eunbi placed the pink pillow under it, fixing the curtain around it.

“We don’t want you and baby to hurt,” she replied with a pout.

“I know, Mama and baby are fine,” she comforted. “And now the pillows, and the plushies.” 

Eunbi smiled, rushing to grab the last things missing and then started placing them how she liked them the most.

“And we’re down with this,” Scarlett cheered. “You can pull the curtain all around you or leave it open,” she explained, showing it to her. “And soon we’ll also hang a small lamp if you want to read, but try to do it in the light, alright? It’s for your eyes.” 

She hummed. “Can Dada put the library here?” 

“Yes, wherever you want it.” 

“I want this corner to be for… uhm… things I like?” 

“Why don’t you grab those big boxes and take them here? We can put them against the wall and order all your toys inside.” 

“I love it,” she exclaimed, rushing to take them. 

“Order them as you like. I’ll help dad, fine?” 

“So, any help?” 

“You can sit and play with Eunbi,” he replied, dismissing her.

“Jae, I’m not about to die, I’m fine,” she said, rolling her eyes. “I’m only always hungry and I have a disgusting amount of vaginal discharges but I assure you it’s something I can survive with.” The baby was starting to grow, it was almost the end of the fourth month, and she could see a faint highlight of a tummy, but she didn’t have any bad symptoms. Actually, the terrible nauseous of the first months disappeared.

He giggled, “is it given to hormones?” 

“I guess, they are always the ones to blame, right?” 

“I know I’m annoying at times but… I want to make sure you’re safe,” he said, placing down the hammer to look at her. 

“I know, but I’m not dumb. I know my limits, I would never push myself past them, so I will keep me and baby,” she chuckled, making him giggle too, “safe.” Not really liking to keep it gender-neutral, Eunbi came up with the solution of calling it baby because, apparently, it helped her to be reminded less of the 50% of possibility of having a brother. 

“We need to come up with a name, maybe sooner than we did with her. I don’t know what were you waiting exactly to name her.” 

“Hey, I was a broken-hearted widow,” she joked, pushing his arm playfully. “And also she came out of me before the due time, I wasn’t expecting her.” 

“Fine, but this time we’ll have a name before the seventh month.” 

“As you wish my King,” she kidded, kissing his cheek. 

“Mom, Dad, I put them in place,” Eunbi screamed, happy about how she had fixed her toys in the boxes. “Can we decor the outside?” 

“Yeah, I’m coming.” 

After Jaehyun was done with the library, he sat down next to her, helping them decorate the boxes, gluing glitters, and attaching stickers and wooden crafts they had painted together. And little by little, the whole room came together. The canopy bed was at its place in the middle of the room with pillows, her plushies and her comfort blanket, at its side there was a small bedside table where she could keep the essentials. On the other side of the room, there was her play corner, with the curtain and pillow and all the boxes with her toys, the heart—shaped library, and her dollhouse. And what took most of the wall was the closet. The only things missing to decorate were the shelves on the walls and the small vanity table next to the balcony. 

“Do you like it?” Jaehyun asked Eunbi. 

“I love this soooo much,” she exclaimed with a big smile on her face, “it’s just how I wanted it. It only misses the shaking horse and my little sister.” 

They chuckled, “your little sister?” 

“Or brother,” she shrugged, pouting. “Can they play with me?” She asked, entering the shelter in the corner. 

“Babies are delicate when they are born,” Jaehyun explained. 

“But look!” She exclaimed, touching the pillow under her. “Here is so soft.” 

Scarlett giggled. “They will play with you but not immediately, you have to wait some more.” 

She furrowed, tilting her head as she stared at her parents with a confused expression. 

“And what can we do together?” She asked, pouting, crawling out of there to reach her mom that was sitting on the rocking chair and asking her to grab her, struggling to find a place on her leg since she didn’t want to press against the belly, even if for now it wasn’t extremely big.  

“You can hold them in your arms and lull them, sing them a lullaby, and then you’ll give them your first toys. Just wait three months and your little brother or sister will play with you.” 

“And baby won’t sleep here?” 

“No, honey,” Jaehyun said, caressing her hair, “baby will be very loud, and you want to sleep at night, right?” 

She hummed. “And baby’s room will be my old one?” 

“No, we’ll move the nursery on our right, so we’ll have each one of you at our side,” he replied, smiling at her. 

“So, we will all be close to each other.” 

When they started decorating the nursery for the new baby, she was halfway through the fifth month. Her belly had grown a lot, and so did the back pains. 

And the back pains were the only thing that made her sit down and simply watch Jaehyun fix everything. Eunbi was out with Taeyong, he had brought her to the bakery because Jaemin had called him for help and he decided to bring her along. 

“Why are you looking at me like that?” She asked, furrowing. 

“You’re cute,” Jaehyun explained, pushing the mattress in the white crib, and diverting his gaze from her. 

“I’m just eating,” she mumbled, pushing down a bite of the fruit she was devouring. 

“It’s baby, isn’t it?” 

“Well, baby is the reason I’m craving so much food, but fruits are good for the both of us,” she explained. “You know that I like calling it baby? It’s soft.” 

Jaehyun chuckled. “Don’t tell me you’re thinking about letting her choose a name. She will make something up from her fantasy’s worlds.” 

Scarlett laughed. “No, but can we pick it with her?” 

“Yeah, once we’ll have the names and she can have a normal list to pick from.” 

She smiled, getting up, helping him push the armchair next to the crib, and receiving a glare. 

“I thought you had back pain.” 

“I have them but it’s just a chair, don’t worry. Instead, do you have something in mind?” 

“How to call it?” 

She hummed and then started passing him the pack of diapers to put in the drawers of the changing table. 

“We don’t even know if it’s a boy or a girl,” he said, pausing for a moment to think. “Wait, you’re 19 weeks in, we should know it at your next control, right?” 

“Yeah…” she said, “I’m not sure I want to know.” 

“You don’t?” 

She shrugged. “We can have a surprise or something.”

“This pregnancy is too calm for you, isn’t it? You really do love the thrill of things.” 

She laughed, “Stop it, now. I don’t know if I want to find out.” 

“You are terrified it’s a boy, you don’t want it just like Eunbi.” 

“I don’t care, I wouldn’t mind a little you walking around,” she smiled, bopping his nose.  

“What if their twins?” 

“They’re not,” she almost screamed, voice strangled in her throat, already panicking just at the possibility of carrying two instead of one. “You saw the echography, it’s just one, a small bean.” 

“Can we have a third one then?” 

“Oh, Lord, let me get through this one first, please,” she laughed. 

“I know, it’s just,” he pulled her close, kissing her lips softly, “I think that three it’s the perfect number.” 

“I’m fine with that but not in one single pregnancy.” 

“Have I told you that you look beautiful like this,” he said, hands caressing her tummy. 

“It’s starting to show a little,” she smiled dumbly, pulling up the shirt, “I can’t wait for it to be so round I can’t even see my feet.”  

“Eunbi was big, I think you should be grateful she came out before, or else it would’ve been even worse.” 

“She was, I felt like a big balloon going around,” she giggled. “What will you do baby?” 

At that moment the baby kicked, making them still. 

“It kicked! Did you see the little feet,” she exclaimed, looking at him with wide—open eyes. 

“It did, I want to feel it,” he said, placing a hand on her and almost crying when he finally felt their baby move. 

“It’s so strong,” he whispered in awe. 

“Oh, no, another one running around just like her?” She chortled but her eyes were watery. 

“Are you crying? It has never done it before?” 

She shook her head. “This is the first time.” 

“I’m so happy right now.” 

“I think baby’s happy too.” 

“Does it hurt?” He asked, still amazed as he kept his hand there. 

She shook her head. “It’s weird, I haven’t felt something move in me in ages but no, it doesn’t,” she explained, still smiling widely. “Is it weird if I say that I already want to meet them?” 

Jaehyun smiled, pulling her closer, gently caressing the bump, “I think it’s more than normal.” 

“But not because I want them out,” she explained, “like not for now, I’m still not heavy and round enough to want the belly to go away but I’m just so eager to know what it will be like this time.” 

“Yeah, I agree with you,” he smiled, caressing her cheek. “I can’t get you on the round part but for the rest…” he chuckled. 

“I want to see our kids play together. I know Eunbi will be such a great sister, she loves the baby so deeply already.” 

“I want that too, but you know what,” he whispered, leaning closer, “I think we should enjoy these months, not only because they will be the last of sleep for a while,” he joked, making her laugh, “but because I want to walk this path with you slowly, and let’s be honest, time will fly.” 

She hummed, nodding. It was true that time passed in the blink of an eye, so there was no need to wish it would rush up even more. 

“I truly want to be here with you this time, and I want to savour every moment of it, Scarlett.” 

At the end, they did find out the sex of the baby. They told the obgyn to don’t tell them and write it down in the envelope with the echography. 

And now Eunbi was excitedly sitting on her parent’s big bed with the letter in her hands, waiting for them to give her the signal to open it and be the first one to discover what it was. 

“Are you ready?” Jaehyun asked her, keeping his arms around Scarlett and feeling the baby kick hard, caressing her tummy hoping it would calm down. 

“Yes, I open it now,” she said, sweaty hands fumbling with the tongue of the package before she pulled the paper out and closed her eyes. She was a little bit nervous because she had spent days trying to learn how the words ‘sister’ and ‘brother’ were written and she was terrified she would forget, but then remembered that if it was a girl it would have a small purple heart and green if it was a boy so she took a deep breath and opened her eyes. 

She furrowed for a moment to read the letters and her heart jumped in her throat when she read the first one.  

“It’s a sister! I was right! I was right!” She jumped up, crawling to her mother to show her. “Look si-sis-ster! You made me a sister!” 

Jaehyun and Scarlett looked at her tenderly, almost crying when she hugged the tummy and started leaving kisses on it.

“Are you happy?” She asked, turning around to look at Jaehyun, caressing his face when she saw his teary eyes. 

They were expecting another baby girl. 

“Never been happier,” he said, “can’t wait to add another amazing woman in my life.” 

“Shut up, you’ll make me cry,” she whined, already feeling emotional. She didn’t care much about it being a boy or a girl but she still felt her heart fill up with joy. Probably it was because Jaehyun had stayed with her at the first daughter and now even at the second, unlike her father. Or maybe it was because she only cared about the joy in Eunbi’s eyes, and now it was overflowing. 

“We’ll have another baby girl,” Jaehyun said to Eunbi when she pulled away from her tummy. 

“I’m so happy,” she exclaimed, struggling to walk on the mattress to rush in her father’s arms, letting him lift her up and make her spin in the air. 

“You can make us the flower crowns,” she said, “and then I’ll give her aaall my dresses and we’ll play princess and I’ll teach her how to read.” 

“You were so good at reading before,” he praised her, swinging around. 

“I can be a big sister now, I can make you so pride of me,” she chanted, moving her eyes from him to her mother.  

“We are already so proud of you, little bird,” he reassured her, moving her hair back and then starting to play with her again, making her do the airplane in the air, their laughs mixing together. 

And Scarlett didn’t move, knowing for sure that, if she dared touch the ground, her knees wouldn’t have supported her, and simply watched the scene after looking down at the 6 centimetres baby inside of her and holding her belly hard. Tears falling silently on her face but from happiness. 

She had never felt fuller of love in her entire life. Her daughters were never going to have to fight for love and respect because they were so loved. And that was all she needed to know that she had made the right choices years before. 

Sisterhood was a beautiful gift, a rare gem to protect, and knowing that Eunbi was already cherishing it so much, made her heart jump with joy. 

“Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to Eunbi! Happy birthday to you!” Eunbi smiled before blowing on the candles on her big cake, marking another milestone of her life, her fourth birthday. 

Scarlett and Jaehyun were standing behind her, hugging each other as they tried to push back the tears seeing how big she had gotten. Their baby was four. An amazing, strong, intelligent four years old little girl. 

“Did you make a wish?” Scarlett asked, leaning closer to her, and caressing her shoulder. 

“Yes, but I can’t tell it,” she replied. “I also made one for us.” 

“Oh, did you?” She cooed and Eunbi hummed. “You’re so kind, baby. I hope all your wishes will come true.” 

“Thank you, Mama,” she smiled. “And now cake,” she said and started chanting ‘cake’ with her two kindergarten friends that came to the party, Fei and Amelia, the son of one of the maids whom she got close to, Ben, and Donghyuck’s son, Sungmin.

“Alright, time to eat this delicious cake uncles Jaem and Yong prepared,” Jaehyun said, grabbing a knife and starting to cut it. “First slice to the birthday girl, shall we?” He asked, looking at the other kids in line that nodded in agreement. “And here you go, princess,” he beamed, handing her a plate full of cake. 

“Thank you, Dada,” she smiled. “I’ll wait for you at my table,” she told to her friends, starting to walk toward the smaller kid’s table with her plate in hand, a fake tiara on top of her head and a puffy dress swinging around. 

Once everyone was served, they sat down at their table, chatting with the others. Eunbi wanted a party outside, but considering it was the 13th of November that surely wasn’t the smartest idea. But opening the ballroom and setting it up how she liked it the most (lilac everywhere — at this point it was an obsession that didn’t seem to pass — balloons, flowers and tents they made up with chairs and table), made her happy anyway.

“She’s so big now,” Taeyong whispered, leaning against Scarlett’s arm while his gaze was on Eunbi that was eating the cake and talking with her friends. “I remember when I held her the first time in my arms.” 

Scarlett hummed, “sight? It seems yesterday and it’s been four years.” 

“All the times I had to prepare your favourite soup because you had cravings, and all the songs we sang to make her calm down.” 

“Yeah, and what about all the help you gave me with all the disgusting aspects of pregnancy?” 

“I wouldn’t call them disgusting, more painful and annoying for those going through that, but a little help while puking didn’t kill anybody,” he answered, smiling at the memories. “I was so excited to meet her, I admit, I was happy when your water broke before the due date.” 

“You were happy? I was literally terrified. She never gave me time to mentally prepare for anything.” 

Taeyong laughed. “She loves a surprise entrance every time,” he joked. “Guess she will do great things in her life. She either goes big or goes home.” 

“Yeah. When she started crawling so soon and climbed everywhere and as soon as she started talking she never stopped.” 

“She wants to learn how to read so bad,” he said. “The other day she made me redo the lesson schedule because I didn’t put in reading time.” 

“Really?” 

“Yeah, she’s my boss. She takes care of me.” 

“It’s the revenge because you still make her sleep in the afternoon.” 

“Maybe, but she still needs it. And I don’t get why sleeping it’s such a big thing, I’d pay for someone to force me in bed and don’t do anything all day.” 

Scarlett chuckled. “I agree. But she has so much to discover,” she smiled, moving forward to ask Jaehyun, that was talking with Johnny at their side, to cut her another slice of cake. “She remembers the name of every single maid and I think that at this point she even talks with the walls.”

“Here’s your cake,” Jaehyun interrupted them, handing her the plate. 

“Thank you,” she said, smiling at him. “I don’t know what you and Jaem put in this, but I’m addicted,” she hummed, grabbing a spoonful and then eating it. 

Taeyong giggled, “I think the cravings are altering your taste but thanks.” 

“No, seriously,” she said after swallowing, “You outdid yourself, it’s so good.” 

“She’s enjoying it too, I guess,” he joked, pointing his head at the tummy where Scarlett was lightly tapping, he guessed, to keep her calm. 

“Yeah, she woke up at the second bite,” she replied, looking down for a moment, smiling tenderly. 

“How are you keeping up?” He asked, he saw her every day but their main focus was Eunbi’s progress or other things that had nothing to do with her. “I’m kind of sad I’m not as present as the last time.” 

“You won a kid and that’s Eunbi,” she joked. “By the way, I’m doing… fine, I guess.” 

He quirked a brow, “Are you sure?” 

“Yeah, I’m just more tired. I’m very happy, don’t misunderstand, but everything happened so fast. Moving here, becoming a Queen, getting married and I’ve been pregnant with her basically since then. I wanted another baby but none of us was expecting our tries to be this lucky on the first round.” 

“You didn’t assimilate everything…” 

“Yeah, I feel so high and it’s good, but I’m older now, and it’s also tiring. The rush of good things hits different now than when you’re in your early twenties.” 

“And a pregnancy, too,” he added, holding the now empty plate for her and passing the napkin to clean up. 

“I feel so good and even hot in my skin some days but then some others I feel so wrong, all the marks, and the bloating, and the swollen feet and hands. The other day I had to take off the wedding ring,” she sighed, playing with it. “And then I crave so much fruit, I’m obsessed with it just as much as Bi’s obsessed with light purple.” 

“Don’t call it that, she gets offended,” he joked and then imitated her, “Lilac, even the name is pretty.” 

Scarlett laughed, watching as the kids got back playing and smiling tenderly when she saw her mother loosen up a little and play with them. “I get offended if someone brings me red grapes instead of white, we’re both annoying.” 

“If it makes you feel better,” he said, grabbing her hand and caressing the palm, “you do look amazing. You have a glow when you’re pregnant that makes you look so radiant, especially when you’re also with Eunbi. Motherhood looks great on you.” 

Damned, hormones, she felt like crying now. “You are my number one supporter even for this now,” she replied, leaning closer to hug him. “I love you so much, Yong. Thank you for taking care of her just like you did when you didn’t even meet her yet.” 

Jaehyun was beyond anxious, the more months passed the more it seemed like he couldn’t calm down, and that also included sex. He was incredibly delicate, terrified of doing anything. Treating her so, so carefully. 

Scarlett didn’t feel extremely aroused, but the hormones sometimes picked up so bad that lust filled her brain completely, yet, Jaehyun seemed terrified of her and she was getting tired of it. 

“Am I ugly? Do I don’t live up to your pregnant body expectations?” She asked one day. They were done getting ready to sleep and Jaehyun didn’t even spare her a glance as she was getting undressed. The six months belly was already pretty round and showing in all glory. “I thought you couldn’t wait to see me full of you and what now? Is it because I also gained weight? Are the new stretchmarks the problems? Is it my breast? What?” 

“What?” He asked, turning around with wide eyes, not understanding her random rant. “You think I don’t find you… beautiful like this?” 

She chuckled bitterly, “You hesitated, you find me repulsive.” 

“Repulsive? Are you insane? I always tell you that you’re glowing,” he replied. He did because how could he not. She was glowing like that, not only for the way her body looked but also for the confidence she radiated. Luckily the pregnancy was going on with no complications and this time around she was surrounded by love and it reflected on her. “I always touch you, hug you, kiss you. How could I hate you ever but how could I do it now?” 

“Then,” she sniffled, “then why don’t you want me?” 

He hesitated, only now getting what she truly meant, “You… you want to have sex?” 

“You don’t want me,” her voice broke.  

“No, I — I find you hot, alright? Incredibly hot. But you are a pregnant woman, the mother of my kids, how is that not wrong?” 

Scarlett scoffed, throwing her head back, not understanding why he was so taken aback by it, “How is that wrong?” 

“The fact that if I’d look at you like you want me to look at you, I’d go crazy because your body like this drives me insane. Because if I let that part take over, I’d tell you that I’d never, ever, find you hotter than now. And that is surely wrong.” 

“No, I like it. I want you to want me. I want you to be crazy for me. I need to know that my body going through these enormous changes it’s not a bad thing or a big deal,” she replied. “And I am incredibly horny, Jae. I need you. The hormones are driving me insane. You are driving me insane.”

“But… can we do this?” 

“Yes, my pregnancy is not at risk. You can’t hurt her,” she reassured him, she would’ve never done anything that would’ve compromised the safety of the baby and herself. 

“But are you sure? I don’t want to sound weird, I don’t want this to be uncomfortable for you,” Jaehyun checked in again, not because he didn’t want to, but because he wanted it too much and he needed to make sure she was into this just like him.  

“If it will get uncomfortable, we’ll stop, but about the rest, I don’t care.” 

After her words, he was on her in a moment, lips kissing her hard and hands cupping her face before he swiftly moved them to lift her nightgown over her shoulders, leaving her bare at his eyes and then gently laying her on the bed. 

“Fuck,” he moaned as his eyes travelled on her naked body, her round boobs had grown in size, sitting prettily on her chest, swollen and tender. Her belly was now round, and quite big, not at the fullest but just enough to leave him in a haze at the amazing things she, and her body, were going through. “You’re so hot.” 

“Want to see you, too,” she said, reaching out to get him out of his clothes. “You’re making me forget what your body looks like.” She was always naked at his eyes since he always offered to bathe her and help her get in her clothes, not that she couldn’t by herself, but the baby was big, bigger than Eunbi, and a little help didn’t hurt. And how could she say no to all the attention? But on the other hand, he never let her help. 

“I’m not glowing like you, you’re not missing anything,” he said, swiftly getting rid of everything too and trying to stand on top of her but the tummy got in the way, making her laugh as he tried to find a way to kiss her. 

“Maybe we can find another position?” 

“I just wanted to kiss you,” he whined, “she’s not even here, and she’s already keeping me away from you.” 

“Here,” she whispered, lifting her back up and kissing him. “I think it was my fault for arching my back, also.” 

“I want to make you feel good,” he whispered, hand traveling down on her tummy, reaching her wet core and starting to move in circles. 

“Ah,” she whimpered, letting her head fall behind and arching her back. “Shit,” she jolted, and he stopped. 

“Are you okay?” 

“Yeah, yeah, she moved, sorry, I wasn’t expecting it,” she chuckled. 

“Do you think she feels something?” He asked as he picked up the movements again. 

“I guess, probably she feels the – umm – the contractions of my body.” 

“I can sto—”

“Don’t you dare,” she stopped him, pulling him closer to kiss him. “I need you, Jaehyun. Need you so much.” 

And he didn’t let her repeat it twice, moving away from her to reach between her thighs and bury his face against her pussy. 

“Yeah, just like that,” she moaned, trying to hold his hair but finding it difficult so Jaehyun moved his hand to intertwine it with hers. 

“You’re so wet,” he noted before picking up a rhythm against her, tongue moving slowly on her clit and occasionally teasing her entrance. “Do you like this?” 

“Yes. Please, more,” she mumbled, moving his hand on her belly when she felt the baby kick again. And Jaehyun caressed it gently while his other hand was busy making its way inside of her, middle finger prodding at her entrance, slowly pushing in, testing the waters before he started moving it faster. 

And he probably should’ve found this weird, finger fucking her and eating her out while he could feel their child move inside of her, but it was oddly romantic – and hot – in his head. It was a level of intimacy that reached no other, nothing could come close to that. And she looked breathtaking like this. He couldn’t really see her since the bloated belly was dividing them from the position he was in, but he had her impressed by heart and knew every wrinkle on her face, the way her lips were twitching, and how her long lashes rested on her cheeks. 

“I’m going to come,” she breathed out, holding his hand on her belly tighter, and bucking her hips for what she could. “It feels so good,” she cried out and, before he could do anything else, the orgasm broke out of her, stronger than ever before, it felt a little bit different, but it was good, so, so good. 

“Fuck, you’re amazing,” he whispered, gently kissing her knee, and making his way up to her thigh and then her belly until his lips reached hers and started kissing her gently. “How do you want to do it?” 

“I don’t know,” she whined, trying to kiss him again, just wanting to feel him, letting her hands wander on his body, and kiss him over and over again because between a thing and the other they could never really be intimate, and sure, she loved the other small intimate gestures but this was something that she loved just as much. It was more than falling asleep in each other’s arms, it was more than holding hands, it was more than doing a kind gesture to the other. This was getting deep into each other’s skin, merging together for a small bit of time and pretending that nothing outside of them existed. 

“We can maybe try sideway,” he proposed through one of the thousand kisses, moaning when her hand reached his hard dick and started pumping, “it should be easy.” 

But she shook her head, “Want to see you,” her voice was breathy, and she turned flat on the mattress again, bringing him with him. 

“I’ll weigh on her,” he said, trying to don’t make their stomachs touch. 

“You won’t crush her, you can always don’t lean on me,” she said. “I’m fine. We are fine. She’s having a party down there,” she joked, kissing his worries away again. And so he gave in, hands wrapping under her thighs to pull her closer to him before he started to brush the tip of his cock against her slit. “You will be the death of me,” he whispered in a haze, mesmerized by her beauty. Years had passed and she still had him hooked on her. She was always going to be the most beautiful being he had ever seen. 

Scarlett smiled, reaching for his hand again and gasping when his cock stretched her full. It had been six months since something penetrated and she felt her breath get snatched away before she started laughing and made Jaehyun still. 

“Are you okay?” He asked worriedly but without pulling out.

She nodded, covering her face with an arm as she tried to calm down, “I’m sorry, shit, sorry, sorry,” she mumbled. “I was just thinking how,” she stopped again, laughing, “if the stretch from you feels so much after all this time I’m worried about when I’ll have to push her out.” 

Jaehyun giggled, rolling his eyes, “You have a talent for ruining hot moments.” 

“I’m sorry,” she apologized again. “Can I be worried, though, since it’s my body doing all the work again?” 

“Sure,” he said, smirking, “guess we’ll have to help your muscle to stretch out,” he joked, pulling out and slamming in again slowly. 

“Mhh,” she hummed, eyelid fluttering close and then open again, “I love to exercise like this.” 

And soon, they found a way to work it out, even with the bump ‘getting in the way’ and his fears of hurting her disappearing more and more until another thought sparked in his mind. Jaehyun couldn’t don’t pay attention to her boobs. How much fuller they had gotten again. How beautiful they were and how perky her nipples were. Was it so bad, so depraved, to want to taste her? 

And Scarlett didn’t get it immediately, when she saw him furrow his brows and shake something out of his brain, trying to concentrate on his thrusts and squeezing her hand tighter. But she knew him, it was weird he didn’t ask her anything of that kind when she was breastfeeding Eunbi. She knew how much he loved her boobs and she knew how amazed he was by what they were doing right now. 

So since he seemed so shy to ask, she moved their hands on one of them, making him snap up in surprise. 

“Don’t want to hurt you,” he mumbled, trying to pull away, but she firmly held him in place. 

“They’re so sore,” she cried. “Can you suck on them, please?” 

Jaehyun’s eyes snapped open at the request, gulping hard as he tried to don’t look so excited but his body was betraying him, she could feel his cock throbbing inside of her, and she could see his eyes shine with lust. 

“Are you – shit – are you sure this is not weird, I – fuck –,” he cried, really trying to fight it back. 

She rolled her eyes, cupping his face to force him closer, “I said, help me out. You don’t want to leave your baby mama unsatisfied, right?” And he finally listened, nodding and then latching his lips around one of her sensitive nipples. Now, she never really thought about something like that but fuck if it was relieving, how painful they felt sometimes and how good she was feeling now with all the stimulation. 

“Fuck, it tastes good,” he moaned against her skin, changing sides as he kept moving in and out of her at a steady pace. “Dripping when I don’t pay one attention?” He teased, looking with a smirk at the white liquid dripping down the nipple and running on her breast. 

“They’re so hard,” she moaned, “don’t stop please. My boobs are so – fuck – full,” the words died in her mouth again when he started sucking again, and she could feel the orgasm approach once again. Head rolling back and lips parting open to let out low moans. 

And Jaehyun started sucking and fucking harder, hearing those pretty little sounds, getting lost in pleasure too because it just felt so good and he felt like he was about to go crazy right there and then. 

“Close,” she mumbled, spreading her legs wider, trying to buckle up and feel him even more. 

“Going to come?” He asked, pulling away for a moment, looking for her hand again and intertwining it with his. 

“Yes, fuck, it’s so, so good,” she cried, wanting to wrap her legs around him but not succeeding and Jaehyun got the message that she wanted to feel him closer, so he tried to lean in some more and keep one of her legs close with his free hand. 

“Needy, you’re so – mmph – needy, fuck,” he teased, squeezing his eyes shut when her pussy clenched tighter around him. “Going to fill you up. Come around my cock, baby, make a – fuck – a mess,” he moaned, letting go of her nipple and kissing her, muffling the higher moans that were coming out of her mouth. 

Scarlett threw her head back, nails digging into the skin of his back and in the palm of his hand as the second orgasm hit her harder than the first one and made her feel lightweight. 

“Fuck, fuck,” he cursed, throwing his head back and hips stilling against her ass as they both came undone, high pitch moans rippling past their mouths. “Shit, I had missed you so much,” he said, shaking his head, leaving small kisses on her collarbones before pulling out slowly, and then laying down next to her, caressing her face. 

“Need you,” she whispered, turning to the side. 

“Again?” He asked, taken by surprise. 

“Yes, please, one more. I don’t think we can do it again, I’ll only get bigger with time.” 

“If that’s what you want, I’d never say no to you,” he said, sitting to get back in his old position but her hand on his chest keeping him still stopped him. 

“Want to ride, want to feel you closer.” 

“Ride me?” He asked. “Babe, I don’t think that’s –” She stopped him, kissing him and then climbing on his lap, starting to straddle him. “Fine,” he mumbled against the kiss, he loved when she was on top, and like this, with her beautiful round body and boobs, how could he say no, now? 

“Good,” she smiled, hand reaching between their bodies to take his cock again and line it against her, slowly sinking on him, head lolling back as she enjoyed being full again. “You always fit so perfectly in me.” 

He hummed lowly, letting his head fall back for a moment as he enjoyed the way she clenched around him before he straightened again. “You look like a Goddess,” he whispered, eyes adjusting at her frame in front of him, hands wrapping around her waist for what he could to help her move. 

Scarlett smiled, leaning in to kiss him, giggling lightly when her bump crashed against him. 

“Are you sure you’re comfortable?” He asked, he knew she loved riding him, it gave her more control and it was one of the most intimate positions but like this, it was surely more difficult. 

“Yes, I love this,” she replied. “Do you like this? Do I feel good?” 

“Yes, you always – shit – feel amazing, love,” he replied, his forehead resting against hers as he took the chance to delete the distance completely and kiss her again while his hands were all over her body, touching and squeezing, causing shivers to form on her skin. 

Low hums of appreciation came out of her mouth, getting trapped against his, while her hands rested on his shoulder, trying to push her body up and down as best as she could and at the same time roll her hips for more friction. And surely it was harder, but damn if it felt so good. 

“I love you so much,” he whispered, barely pulling back from her lips, his hand wrapping around her waist to help her movements. “Don’t ever – ah – don’t ever think that I don’t find you attractive – fuck,” he cursed, kissing her again, and again, squeezing her flesh harder. “Don’t ever think that you’re not the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen,” and he kissed her again, hips slamming hard up against her. “I’m madly in love with you. So fucking much it’s scary.” 

Her heart flipped in her chest, while her hands crept in his hair and pushed him close again, needing to fill the silence with something bigger than words.  

“I love you, and every – fuck – inch of you. Promise you will never,” he stopped, breath faltering as he could feel both of their orgasms approach, “Promise you will never doubt what bonds us.” 

“Never,” she whispered, “I’ll never doubt us.” 

And with that thought, their orgasms struck, releasing hard as they melted into each other’s arms. 

When the holiday passed, Scarlett was on her 32nd week and it was by now just a matter of time before the birth. She felt like she was exploding, and she honestly was starting to fear how she was going to push the baby out. But overall, everything was going fine, just some usual back pain, more stretches on her body, and the usual repulsion for certain food. 

“Do you think Eunbi will have jealous outbursts?” Scarlett asked. It was early in the afternoon, and they were in their chamber as Jaehyun helped her braid her hair. With the labor approach, she wanted to protect her hair and scalp, avoiding keeping them natural like it happened the first time. All the complications between and after, leading her to keep them in a terrible bun for days and fight with a dry scalp caused by all the sweating of the pushes. And now that her hair almost arrived at her waist, it was way too long for her to be dealing with it. So, box braids were the best options for her – with only thirteen sections so it would’ve taken too long, also considering that Jaehyun had little to no experience, and she had no strength to do them herself.  

“I’m pretty sure she won’t,” he said, starting to work on the first section on her nape. “She looks more excited than us.” 

Scarlett chuckled, relaxing back in the chair and caressing the belly, luckily the baby was sleeping and not kicking as always. 

“Do you think we did a good thing sending her to public school?” She then asked, trying to don’t move her head up and let him finish the first braid. They had discussed it a lot. Her mother was pretty much against it, telling them how it was better to go for private education, but Scarlett didn’t want Eunbi to be lonely like her and grow up with no friends her age. Eunbi was way too outgoing and extroverted to be locked up in a fancy palace all her life and don’t discover the outside world. Also, they presented themselves as the ones that wanted to change things so they had to actually do it. Being a hypocrite was the last thing Scarlett wanted.

“You’re thinking about it now? It’s been months since she started school,” he said. “And this first week after the holiday went fine.” 

“I was asking if she maybe told you something about it,” she explained, playing with her fingers. “Does she has friends? Don’t normal people hang out in their houses? Can they come here? Will they come here?” 

Jaehyun furrowed, raising a brow. “Why do you stress over nothing?” 

“But it is something,” she huffed. “We want her to be like the others but she’s not, she will never be. What if people will use her? Or what if… I don’t know, what if she won’t fit?” 

“But she invited some friends over for her birthday party and they seemed nice.”

“She invited the whole class and only two showed up,” she pointed out, trying to push the tears back. Knowing that she couldn’t protect her tore her apart, and yes, it was life, but Eunbi was still so young and innocent to be hurt that bad. 

“Did she tell you something?” Jaehyun asked this time, worried she knew something he didn’t, while he worked on closing the braid, no hair was added so he needed an elastic band and cursed under his breath because those damned things broke in his hands. 

“She was very happy about the party, you know how she is, small things make her happy. But she did confess she was expecting more friends to show up.” 

“Do you think the family didn’t let them or maybe they were just busy?” 

“I have no idea. Taeyong drops her by and then takes care of her other lessons here, and he tells me that she talks about many kids, and not in a bad way, so I don’t get it…” 

“The parents don’t know her,” he said, trying to come up with a reason why, “maybe they think she’s snotty?” 

“But she’s not. How can your kid don’t tell you when they show you an invite? And is it possible that nobody was born in these months? She received no invitation.” 

Jaehyun sighed. “Do you want to make her drop out and take private lessons?” 

“I don’t… I don’t know,” she replied, feeling on the verge of tears. She hated her messed up hormones, and also being such a sentimental mother. Probably that was why her mother didn’t want to spend much time with her as a kid, the sadness you can feel for your kids is incomparable to anything. Not caring about them is so much easier. 

“Why don’t we talk to her?” He proposed. Sure, they were the responsible ones, but often parents can get too invested emotionally and see problems where they aren’t, and Eunbi was mature enough to talk comfortably with them if something went wrong so that was a conversation they could have. 

And right at that moment, they heard a knock on the door. “Come in,” Jaehyun said, stopping his fingers but keeping the strands of hair in hand, both of them turning toward the door. 

“She doesn’t want to nap,” Taeyong said, leaning against the door with Eunbi’s hand in his. She was pouting and holding in her hand the blanket he had made for her when she was born, still her comfort possession. 

“I’m a big girl, now. I’m four. Can you tell him, mom?” 

Scarlett chuckled, “You know he just wants you to relax, didn’t you have gym today at kindergarten?” 

“We had a dance class,” she lightened up. “Can I go to them? I already told you what we did. Dodo was looking for you.” 

Taeyong chuckled, rolling his eyes, “Yes, I’ll let your recharge your parent’s love battery and go to Dodo.” 

“Thank you,” Eunbi said, signaling him to kneel so she could kiss him on the cheek, “I love you when you don’t force me to sleep.” 

“Thank you, Tae,” Scarlett waved at him. “Take the rest of the day off.” 

“Yeah, the little princess already ordered that. She is my boss,” he winked before closing the door behind him, leaving the family alone. 

“What are you doing?” Eunbi asked, reaching her parents, curiously looking at them. “What are those?” She asked, pointing at the small buns to keep her mother’s pre—parted hair in place. 

“Daddy’s braiding my hair, so I’ll have less trouble when the baby will come,” she explained. 

“I want them too,” she whined, running to the corner of the room to grab a chair and push it next to her mother’s seat in front of the vanity table. “Space, please.” 

Jaehyun laughed. “Wait, let me help Mama stand up so we can pull her chair back.” 

“Thank you,” she greeted when they moved back, and she could position her chair in front of her mother. “Can you do it to me?” 

“Right now?” Scarlett asked, tilting her head, obtaining a nudge from Jaehyun that pushed her head back in place. 

“Yes, please,” she pouted, undoing her ponytail, and shaking her head around to let her curls come down. 

“Careful, you’ll hit your head,” Jaehyun warned, moving his fingers faster to finish the last braid on her nape so Scarlett could raise her face and do them on her too. 

“I won’t part them like mine, we’ll do something easier,” Scarlett said, and Eunbi hummed, smiling happily. “Do you want beads on your ends?” 

“Yes, can you put them on?” 

“I don’t have the energy to crochet them, but we can use these pretty elastic bands,” she showed her the colourful beads, “do you like them?” 

“I love them. Will you put them too?” 

“Nope, they’re for you only,” she said before she signaled her to turn around and started prepping her hair. 

“What happened today at school?” Jaehyun asked, hands still moving on Scarlett’s hair, gaze moving back and forth from the mirror to look at Eunbi’s and the strands in his hands to don’t mess it up. 

“We danced all morning,” Eunbi replied cheerfully. “A dance teacher showed us the steps and we had to copy her,” she explained, moving her arms to imitate what she had done that morning, making Scarlett hiss a ‘stay still’ as she tried to part her hair the best she could but soon giving up making square parting and just trying her best to don’t make them look a mess. Instead, Scarlett lifted her gaze to Jaehyun, hinting at what they said before and Jaehyun nodded. 

“Did you dance with your friends?” He asked, making eye contact with their daughter in the mirror.

And when Eunbi’s face dropped, they both stopped what they were doing. “Bibi? What happened?” 

“I don’t think some of them likes me,” she confessed, fingers playing with a small mirror on the desk and avoiding her parents’ gaze on the big one in front of her. “Yongie says it’s nothing, that they simply knew each other before but…” 

Scarlett wanted to say something, but Jaehyun shushed her, Eunbi wasn’t done yet, and he wanted to know what she felt before starting to conspire with their ideas. 

“I think they don’t like me, they didn’t invite me to their party,” she said, still a small sad frown on her face, “but Fei invited me, Amelia and Ben, to her place. Can Ben come too?” 

“She invited you?” Jaehyun asked, smiling at her, showing her that was a good thing. He always thought it was better to have a few real friends than a fake army of people that truly didn’t care for you, but sure, that mindset came with time and experience, for a little kid not being friendly with everybody was a big deal. 

“Yeah, it’s not a party like mine, but she really likes me. She defends me from the other kids,” Eunbi said, smiling. 

“Defend you? Do they tell you something?” Scarlett asked worriedly. 

“They just ignore me. And if I try to play with them, they say it’s not my place.” 

Scarlett sighed, looking up at Jaehyun, and then groaning in pain, making them worry. “Are you okay?” Jaehyun asked, immediately leaning forward. 

“I’m fine, she just kicked unexpectedly,” she said, but in reality, she had felt a cramp in her lower abdomen but they didn’t need to know. As much as she appreciated how much they took care of her, sometimes it was too much and just added more pressure and anxiety. Her body was probably just getting ready, or whatever. “Can we focus on her, instead? Why do they do it?” 

“Because I’m different,” she said, so casually that their heart broke. 

“You’re not different,” Jaehyun said. 

“Yeah, I am. But I want them to be my friends, or at least to talk to me.” 

“Maybe you should start taking private lessons here,” Scarlett proposed, making Jaehyun furrow. 

“No, I won’t see my friends anymore,” Eunbi complained, turning around, making Scarlett huff when a strand of hair slipped out of her hold. 

“But the others treat you badly.” 

“They don’t talk to me a lot,” she said, turning back around. “But I have my friends, Fei and Amelia,” she explained. “And with Fei’s help, some other kids are getting close to me, mom. Feifei and Lia say it’s just about time, I’m a nice girl, they say there’s no way other kids can hate me,” she reassured her. Eunbi felt a bit disappointed every time she tried to start a conversation, show a drawing, or tell a story and they would push her away, but she also had two amazing friends, and they were enough to make her enjoy her stay at the kindergarten. She also really liked her teachers. Sure, they weren’t Taeyong or Maria, her favourite maid, or her uncles and aunt, but they were nice and taught her many things. And she truly liked to learn. 

And Jaehyun caressed Scarlett’s shoulder to tell her to relax. 

“And as Yongie said not everybody can like us, so it’s fine. If they’ll want to play with me, I’ll be there. If they don’t want to, I’ll have my other real friends by my side.” 

Scarlett let out a sigh of relief. “I’m so glad you’re much more mature than me right now,” she said, caressing her puffy cheek. “Mama’s just paranoid, I have to take care of you getting big and her, and I wish the world will never hurt you. I guessed public school was the best option for you and your curious mind, I grew up all alone here and I couldn’t do that to you and I’m sorry people see you differently but –” 

“Shh, mom, I know,” she stopped her, smiling tenderly, “I’m your little bird, remember?” 

“Yes, you are, but what does it mean, now?” 

“Little birds learn to fly, one day. And I’m flying sooo high,” she giggled, imitating wings with her arms. “I’m not hurt, I was just sad because the others changed partners like… wait… five times,” she explained, counting on her fingers, “but I only did it three times because some didn’t want to dance with me,” she reassured her, “but like uncle Tae said, it was their loss for not dancing with a princess.” 

Scarlett smiled fondly at her and breathed deeply. That was growth. That was all part of growing up. And if she didn’t hurt herself in the outer world, she was still going to get wounded in those walls, so at least, giving her the freedom she needed was the best thing they could do. 

“And Yong’s right,” Jaehyun said. “Wait until they see us dance at our next ball how envious they’ll be,” he joked, making her laugh. 

“You are my favourite person to dance with,” she said in a hush, pretending to be confessing a secret with a hand covering her face. 

“You are my favourite too.” 

“Hey! What about me?” Scarlett whined with a fake pout on her face.  

“Oh, no, she heard us,” Jaehyun joked, and Eunbi threw her head back, hitting the pump by mistake. 

“Sorry, Mommy!” She apologized immediately, turning around, once again making a halfway done braid fly out of her mother’s hand. 

“Don’t be,” she reassured, “but please, stay still and look in front of you, I’ll be done soon.” Soon maybe was too optimistic but she was fast with her fingers and the parting was wide so maybe in fifteen minutes they were done, it was only five short braids in the end. 

“She’s so big. Why is her house so big?” Eunbi asked, fighting the urge to lean back into her mom. She loved feeling the curve of the belly and how soft and yet hard it was. And she also found it funny when she heard the baby kick and move. Once she even saw her small feet peek against the skin. 

They both laughed at her wording but then Jaehyun answered, “because she needs to be strong when she comes out, so she needs much space to grow.” 

Eunbi’s mouth widened in shock. “She won’t be taller than me, right?” 

“No, she won’t,” Scarlett reassured her. “Why are you so afraid of that?” 

“Because I want to be tall as Johnny Oppa,” she said, pouting. 

“Tall as Johnny? Don’t you think that’s a little bit too much?” Jaehyun asked, chuckling. 

“No, he can see so much more than me from there.” 

“Why not as tall as me?” He pretended to be offended.

“He’s taller,” she laughed, sticking her tongue out.  

The hours passed while she told them more about some things they’ve done at school during the week, how excited she was for the end of the year to come so she could bring all the drawings home, and that the teacher told them they’ll have a show so they needed to prepare a choreography. They also talked about Fei’s invitation, Eunbi told them her mom wanted them to stay over even at dinner. And then they discussed the baby names but without coming up with anything, too unsure about picking another name that started with the letter ‘E’ or going for something completely different. 

“I love them, love them, love them,” Eunbi kept chanting, swinging her braids, running around the room since her mom was done with her before Jaehyun was done with her. She was so excited to show them to everybody that she even offered to run downstairs to the cooks and grab some fruit and water for her mother. 

“Bibi,” her mom called, “she’s moving, come feel her,” she said, waiting for Jaehyun to finish the last braid, pointing at her tummy. 

Eunbi giggled, hand flat against her stomach. “She’s dancing just like me,” she exclaimed. “We can have a party once she’s out.” 

“I think that might need some time, but yes,” Jaehyun replied, lips curled in a soft smile as he looked at her happy face. 

“Once she’s out,” Scarlett told her, “we will have the biggest and best ball of our life.” 

When it was time to go to bed Eunbi fell asleep easily, since kindergarten started again, she was more tired and didn’t find the strength to pull up a fight and complain about her bedtime, and also the life there wasn’t so new and exciting as it used to be. It had been more than eight months since they’d been there now, and Eunbi had gotten used to everything. Her new room, her new toys, her new clothes, her maids and everybody who worked there. 

So, they had decided to take some time for themselves before going to bed, too. 

“Are you crying?” Jaehyun asked when he was done boiling the water for the tea, they had decided to go for a hot drink before going to bed and, when he turned around, he saw Scarlett looking like a mess. “Are you hurt?” 

“No,” she said, “I’m fine… physically. They are happy tears, I guess.” 

Jaehyun sighed, he hated being so terrified of everything, but he couldn’t get when she was hurt or it was just the emotional aspect of the pregnancy. “For?” 

“She’s such a big girl, have you heard her today? I was there, panicking, being a crazy mother and she had the maturity to see the situation so… so clearly. And I feel like a terrible mother for so many reasons, I wanted to take her out of there while she wants to go, and at the same time I… I don’t know, I feel like everything I do is wrong. And yes, she’s getting bigger, but I’m terrified for when we’ll also have this one, what if I can’t give her love? Not so much at least.”

“Hey,” Jaehyun called, “come here, let’s sit and talk.”

And she did, dragging her heavy body on the small table of the kitchen, the one that was used mostly just to place stuff and only workers used to eat. “If she was able to analyse that situation like this, it’s because we taught her that. Remember how we always tried to don’t react before her to let her deal with her emotions without our lens? That’s why she can see things so clearly, we were the ones teaching her to accept feelings and deal with them this way.” 

Scarlett hummed, reaching for his hand to hold it. 

“How much we encouraged her into anything she liked. Do you know how confident it made her? Her confidence doesn’t shake when somebody attacks her on something she knows she’s good at. And sure, you’re right, the world it’s cruel and it has all the time to break her apart, but she’s off to a pretty strong start, don’t you think so? And no matter how hard we try, we’ll never be perfect parents. You told me that, remember? The only thing we can do is love her and teach her what we think it’s right, but we will make mistakes and that’s fine as long as we’ll accept to grow and learn too.” 

Scarlett sniffled, lowering her head, hearing his words, and agreeing even, but not really in the mood to let them affect her. 

“And Scar,” he said, caressing her cheek to lift her head up, “you risked your life for her, you walked miles to keep her safe, you would’ve died to protect her, how can you don’t love her? How can she don’t feel your love? She loves you deeply, she sees you so high, you have no idea about how many times she runs to me and tells me you’re the prettiest lady in the whole world and how lucky we are to have you. You don’t know how many times she tells me that she wants to be like you when she grows up. She’s so proud of you for taking care of your Queendom while you’re being the house of her little sister,” he said, a hint of joke on the last phrase, making Scarlett chuckle too. “She has no idea what this truly means but she cares for you so much.” 

“I’m just a little afraid,” she confessed. She had never told him because it felt so dumb, and incoherent and she couldn’t truly put a name to what she was feeling. “I feel like there’s something wrong with me. I… I want her deeply but at the same time I… I feel like I…” the words died in her mouth, feeling too guilty to let them out. 

“You feel like you don’t,” Jaehyun finished for her, and she nodded before breaking down in a loud cry. “No, baby, come here,” he opened his arms and pulled her in. “Sit sideways so you can fit.” 

“How are you not mad at me?” She asked, surprised he was lulling her and caressing her back instead of screaming at her for thinking such things about their child. 

“How can I be mad at you? It’s depression, isn’t it?” 

“I don’t know,” she cried out. She had heard something about that but always avoided the topic, thinking she had no reason to don’t want the baby, especially now. But apparently, antepartum depression hits like a wave at any time and any person, no matter how deeply wanted the kid was. “But I hate this, because I swear I love her but, ugh,” she groaned, sniffling, “I’m so scared this time and I don’t – I don’t understand why since I have you here and I’m so full of love but I look at myself in the mirror some times and I wish it wasn’t there and then I feel even more guilty and I panic so much when she doesn’t move because I’m afraid my thoughts hurt her and I don’t want to lose her.” 

Jaehyun couldn’t get it. He could never get what was going on in her body and brain and how all those changes affected her. She had confessed she felt more afraid because the baby was bigger, but he was sure that wasn’t the reason for all of these. But he wasn’t even a doctor, so all his ‘maybes’ weren’t going to lead anywhere. 

“I don’t know why it’s happening, I wish I could tell you but I’m not a doctor,” he said, caressing her back in circles. “I guess you lost a little bit of control over your thoughts, you are stressed, overly stressed. And I can help you only a little if you don’t decide to give up a little bit of control. You are not alone, I will never leave your side. If we raised a kid in those conditions we were in four years ago, what makes you think we’ll do wrong now?” 

“I don’t know, I didn’t think that until two weeks ago, I guess. I was doing fine, I felt so good with myself and then… it all fell apart.” Probably it was the weight of all the responsibilities she had. When she had Eunbi she was a simple tailor and her boss was one of her dearest friends, but now she was a Queen and she didn’t want to dip out of her duties just like her father did. But it was the second, she should’ve been more prepared, right? And yet, she felt like she was starting from zero. And then all those thoughts she didn’t even feel like she was thinking were piling up on each other and they were making her go crazy. 

“Then why don’t we do a thing, we go talk to the doctor and see what’s wrong, I’m sure they can help,” he said. “And in the meanwhile, you know what we can do?” She shook her head. “Start to love ourselves again.” 

“You want to fuck?” She asked, stunned. 

“No, baby,” he said, shaking his head. “But I want you to remind yourself that you are an amazing woman before being an amazing mother, wife, and queen.” 

“You say it just because…” 

“I say it because it’s true,” Jaehyun stopped her, leaving a peck on her lips, caressing her wet cheek. “But I’ll take it that tonight’s like this, your brain’s not in the mood to listen.” 

“Are you mad at me?” She asked with a small pout on her lips. 

“No, I’d never be mad at you. This is not your fault, it’s something that can happen during pregnancy and it’s something we will solve together. I can’t take your pain and make it mine, but I can walk by your side, and I’ll always will.” 

“And what do I do when those thoughts get too much?” 

“You come to me and I’ll shower you with praise.” 

“Can you do it now, I think I need it.”

And Jaehyun did that, trying to distract her with all the amazing things they managed to do during those past years, trying to remind her how strong she was alone and how strong they were together. He tried to make her think about all the beautiful adventures the future held for them, how they could’ve kept it easy even if they were in this new big experience now and how she didn’t have to stress herself over the smallest things. 

And it worked, just for that night, listening to him talk always put her in a good mood, and it seemed that baby loved to hear her father talk just as much. And with his hand on her belly, the big bump and the way she was moving didn’t terrify her that much anymore. And sleeping in his arms, dozing off as he whispered gentle words and praises in her ear, made her feel a little bit better.  

When they talked to the doctor, and with Kun, since Scarlett wanted him to be there and wanted his advice too, they came up that taking antidepressants at this point was more dangerous than useful and to try other methods since the case didn’t seem severe. And digging a bit further, it had come out that her thoughts were mostly related to her father and the anxiety of not being enough for him. 

So she was trying to change her point of view for real and see her life through the lens of what she loved and loved her. And it was working, slowly, with some falls and fears, but it was getting better. At least she didn’t hate her body anymore with Jaehyun that kept repeating even more how much she was glowing and how beautiful she was even if for her she looked like a big balloon floating around. And Eunbi’s extreme excitement for the new soon-to-be arrived made her have fewer fears about them and the love they had to share. She had also decided to stop dealing with affairs regarding the country and leaving things into Jaehyun and Donghyuck’s hands – not without the fear of them jumping to each other’s throat but for now, it was going quite well, much to her surprise. 

So walking around the garden enjoying the few warmer hours during the day helped her free her mind and come in contact with nature, discovering a new peace of mind. Playing the piano while her maids sang with her brought her back to times she had missed. And reading books to Eunbi helped her escape with her imagination. 

It was going back on track, little by little, the finish line didn’t seem so far and not even so scary. 

And once again the finish line came a little bit unexpectedly. 

They were all enjoying the first warm sun rays of March out in their garden when Scarlett felt a weird cramp on her lower abdomen. 

“Are you fine?” Jaehyun asked her, turning his head slightly around to look at her better, a hand under her belly, frowned expression and the other hand leaning against the closest white table that was set in the little covered area from where they were watching Eunbi, Johnny, Yuta and Mark play soccer. 

“Uhm, uhm,” she moaned, squeezing her eyes shut and starting to breathe normally again. “I’m fine. You know, just her usual jokes,” she chuckled before letting out another moan. She was feeling these irregular contractions, but they have been happening more frequently in the past few days, so she wasn’t paying much attention. “Uh, uh, baby’s happy today.” 

At that, three heads were turned to her, Jaehyun’s, Taeyong’s and Doyoung’s. 

“Babe, not to get in between this again but you do not bend in two when she kicks,” Taeyong commented, staring at her with a furrow on his face. 

“It’s just my body playing games with m – ah,” she screamed. “Oh, shit,” she cursed, pursing her lips together, “I should know what’s going on, but I don’t really know. I do, shit, think that, haha,” she panicked, looking around, “probably my body is very much not playing games to me, fuck,” she mumbled, throwing her head back when she felt a stronger contraction. 

“Are you giving birth right here?” Jaehyun asked, panicking, not knowing what to do, looking back at the others that weren’t even paying attention. 

“Not here,” she screamed, “not in a freaking garden. This time I’m lying on a bed at least. Where’s Kun? I’m not pushing her out if I don’t have him here.” 

“Did your water break?” Taeyong asked. 

“No, but, fuck, why does it hurt so much?” She asked, lifting her gaze, feeling tears stream down her face. “Am I losing her?” 

“No, God, no,” Jaehyun said, kneeling next to her, and caressing her hand. “Fine, we are walking inside until you can, alright?” She nodded, biting her lips. “And you will call Kun, ‘right?” 

“Yes,” Taeyong answered. “It will be fine,” he said, smiling at Scarlett. 

“No, actually I might need you here with us,” Jaehyun said. 

“Why would you bring me with you?” 

“You were there the first time, come on,” he whined, helping her stand up from the chair. 

“But you are here now.” 

“I need you, too. C an you please, come?” Scarlett pleaded, now breathing better again, the contraction coming to a stop. “Please, you were really nerve soothing the first time, please.” 

“Fine. I don’t know if I’ll be there for the next one, though.” 

“No next one, not for – fuck – fuck, Jae, it hurts.” 

“Where is Mama going?” Scarlett stopped when she heard Eunbi’s voice and saw her ran toward her. 

“Hi, love, Mama’s in a little bit of, uhmm,” she pressed her lips together to don’t curse in front of her. 

“Mama’s in pain,” Taeyong replied. “The baby’s coming and it’s a difficult thing to go through.” 

“I want to help.” 

“You can’t help her,” he replied, signaling Jaehyun to carry her inside. “I’ll deal with her, go.” 

“I love you,” Scarlett screamed to Eunbi before she tried to walk inside again. “I don’t want to go up the stairs,” she cried. 

“You can do it,” Jaehyun encouraged. 

“No, I cannot,” she cried, clenching around him. “I want Taeyong.” 

“Worry about the stairs first. I’m sure Tae will come to be by your side.” 

“It’s not like I don’t, I don’t want you – shit – my water – fuck,” she whined. “I’ll give birth here.” 

“On the stairs?” He exclaimed. “Babe, come on, let me carry you.” 

“You can’t, the belly’s too big,” she stopped, gasping when a contraction hit. 

“Oh, shit, they’re starting for real, aren’t they?” He asked, worried and she could only nod. “I’m carrying you upstairs, let’s go.” 

The walk to the setup room felt like a lucid dream but in pretty decent time she was laying on the bed with Jaehyun and Taeyong by her sides. 

“I’m scared,” she said. “I’m so terrified.” 

“It will go well. You did so well the first time,” Jaehyun said, trying to calm her down. 

“No, I, can you breathe with me? I can’t keep the tempo. I, I can’t do this, I’ll fail, they’ll have to cut me, I’ll—”  

“Alright, now, will you stop being so negative?” Taeyong snapped. “You know what you too need? A little time alone.” 

“No, don’t leave,” but it was already too late because he was already out of the door. 

“I love that I have you – have you here,” she said, breathing hard as she tried to fight nausea, smashing her face against his broad chest, “but he’s more like a – fuck – superstitious thing. I… I’m afraid because this isn’t home, and this isn’t, this is different and I hate changes and I felt like I was more prepared the first time and I’m sorry because I love you, you do know right, I love you and I fucking hate those – shit – those, ugh, contractions,” she screamed the last words when she felt they were getting more intense and more frequent.  

Jaehyun smiled, caressing her back, and pushing her closer, “I know, you don’t need to explain, babe. We’ll make Taeyong come back in a second, but listen to me,” he said, waiting for her to raise her head, “you’ve got this. This is home, even if it’s bigger, this is our place. This is different because it’s better, you have me, and all your friends, and your daughter, and your mother. Isn’t it great?” 

“Uhm,” she hummed. “It’s great, it’s, fuck,” she cursed, “but it’s not enough, it’s, I can feel her, I need to push.” 

“Kun’s not here yet,” Jaehyun said panicking. “Isn’t it too soon?” 

“It doesn’t have to be an even more excruciating pain, you know, love?” 

“I don’t know how it works, I wasn’t there,” he defended, hoping that somebody else was going to come into the room and take the matter in their hands because he hated seeing her like this, hearing her cry and scream, breathing hard, skin pearled in sweat.  

“Okay, I’ll breathe. In and out. And give me your hand. Your hand and call Kun, call somebody, call my mom, she knows. No, I should know, I did it a few years ago, she did it ages ago.” 

“I’ll go see where —”

“Don’t you fucking dare leave me alone,” she warned, scarily threatening. 

“He should be here any moment,” Taeyong explained, entering the room before Jaehyun could answer her. “How are you?” 

She glared at him, letting out another loud scream as she felt everything happen ten times faster than Eunbi, and if it was supposed to be a relieving thing, at that moment, it only looked scarier to her. 

“Aaalright, wrong phrasing but like how do you feel? Is any of you keeping track of the contractions?” 

“No, I, uhm, we’re not unless she is.”  

“I’m not, I want to push her out. Out.” 

Jaehyun and Taeyong looked at each other, “Wear the gloves just in case,” Jaehyun said before they moved to the end of the bed. 

“Remember the last time?” Taeyong asked, opening her legs again. “Do the same.” 

“Are you two going to do that?” She asked, head snapping up, chin moving away from against her chest. 

“Well, it’s not like Kun did something, you did all the job yourself,” Jaehyun explained. “We’ll just catch the baby.” 

“Fine, I’ll try, I’ll, ugh,” she cried, sinking her nails in the sheets under her. “I need Johnny.” 

“You don’t need a crowd every time you give birth, honey. You can do it,” Jaehyun said, trying to talk some sense into her. 

“He only brought sheets to clean the mess, you don’t need him,” Taeyong assured her. “And now push.” 

“Push,” she whispered, chest heaving and cheeks wet, as if she wasn't already doing it. “It’s not coming out,” she cried when she kept pushing for what felt like ten minutes to her but, it had only passed three. “I’ll die this time. You’ll dig a hole for me and the baby and I will…” 

“You will stop with these words,” Kun said, barging into the room. “Oh, great, a crowd once again.” 

“It’s just us, we wanted to help,” Jaehyun explained. 

“Fine, help by holding her hand and giving her comfort, I’ll take care of the rest.” 

“Can you drag it out of me?” 

“You just have to relax and push.” 

“It’s so easy for you,” she yelled. “Need you,” she said, looking for Jaehyun’s hand. “Push with me, please?” 

“Yes, I’ll push with you,” he replied, not even getting what she meant with that but glad he could help, at least in her mind. 

And after that, everything went blank, she couldn’t really pinpoint what was going on around her, the only thing she could remember being Jaehyun’s hand holding hers, faint chants of Kun’s and Taeyong’s voices, her unbearable pushes, and then finally a loud scream followed by cries. 

Their second baby was there. 

And when Kun gently placed the baby in her arms, and she immediately reached for her, she once again felt like everything was worth it. 

“She’s beautiful,” Jaehyun whispered, resting his head against Scarlett’s caressing her gently. 

“And we gave birth to another baby,” Taeyong exclaimed, interrupting their sweet moment. “Welcome to the world…” he stopped, realizing he didn’t know the name. 

Making them realize they didn’t pick one. 

“Not again,” Jaehyun huffed, rolling his eyes. 

She chuckled, immediately regretting it when she started feeling the contractions to push out the placenta, but it didn’t really matter, that was just a painless plus. So, she looked up at Jaehyun and then back at the baby in her arms, a smile curling her lips, “I have one, actually.” 

After a few hours passed and both of them were clean and moved to another room, the others finally got to see them. 

Eunbi was the first one to enter the room, her hand wrapped tightly around Johnny’s fingers as she took small, intimidated, and yet excited, steps toward the bed. She was dying to meet her little sister, but she was also afraid of doing something wrong. Everybody kept reminding her how delicate she was. 

“Hi, little bird,” hearing her mother’s voice made her heart calm down a little and seeing that she seemed fine, made her finally let go of the breath that she was holding. She was too young to understand what was going on, but she still sensed everybody’s tension. 

“Hi, Mama,” she whispered, waving her hand, letting go of Johnny’s, turning around one last time to smile at him, and then walking to the bed alone. 

“Why are you so calm?” Scarlett asked curiously, not used to seeing her move around so calmy.  

“Baby. They say she’s delicate,” she replied, playing with her fingers, “But… can I see her, mom? I’ll be good, I promise.” 

Scarlett smiled, feeling on the point of crying again for how considerate she was being. “Sure, you can, come here. Ask Papa to place you next to me.” 

When Jaehyun lifted her and sat her next to her mom, she gasped. The baby was sleeping in her arms, folded in a white blanket and with a small hat on her head. 

“She’s…” she paused, sitting on her knees to see her better, “she’s small,” she whispered, furrowing, causing everybody in the room to laugh under their breaths to don’t wake her up. “She was in your tummy?” 

Scarlett giggled, wrapping the arm that wasn’t holding the new-born up around her eldest daughter. “She very much was in me.” 

“Dad, see! You were right, she’s not taller than me.” 

Jaehyun chuckled, sitting next to her, wrapping an arm around her too. “You always have to trust me.” 

“Can I touch her?” She asked, shily lifting her hand up. 

“Sure,” Jaehyun said, “just be gentle.” 

And the way Eunbi’s hand placed so gently on her little cheek made everyone in the room skip a beat. The baby’s eyes opened, but no cries rolled out of her lips, she simply stared up at her big sister and moved her hand around, placing hers on top of Eunbi’s. And it surely was an involuntary muscle movement, but that didn’t stop Eunbi’s heart – and everybody else’s – from beating faster at the cute gesture. 

Eunbi’s lips parted and she looked up at her mom and dad with almost teary eyes. “She loves me! She touched me.” 

“It’s obvious she does,” Scarlett said, “who was the one singing all those songs and reading all those stories?” 

“She remembers? She remembers me!” She exclaimed, voice rising up just a little, but not too much to scare her little sister. “I love you so much,” she said, leaning in to kiss her cheek. “And you’re the prettiest sister I could ever ask for.” 

Scarlett looked at Jaehyun, smiling tenderly, their hands brushing against each other on Eunbi’s back. 

“Wait, if I am Eunbi, who is she?” 

They giggled, and then Scarlett replied, “So, we were thinking of calling her Aisha. How does that sound?” 

“I love it! It’s so pretty, just like her,” she exclaimed before looking at her sister again. “Aisha,” she repeated. “It suits her.” 

“Glad you love it,” Scarlett said. “We also think it suits her very much.” 

She smiled, nodding happily and then fell back, squeezing into her parents’ hold. “Eunbi and Aisha. I think we sound great together.” 

“You do,” Jaehyun agreed, caressing her cheek. “I’m sure she’ll think that too.” 

“Now that I have a sister can I have a brother?” She asked so nonchalantly that everybody in the room froze for a moment. 

“Oh, hell no, baby. Not now that I just finished pushing her out,” Scarlett replied in utter shock. 

“But don’t you think a baby boy it’s the only thing missing?” She asked, turning around and batting her eyes. 

“When does this suddenly come from?” She asked, confused, considering she had been begging for a sister for months until her eyes moved to Jaehyun that was visibly holding back a laugh. “It was you!” 

“No,” he stated, lifting his hands in defence. “It comes from her but, who am I to say no?” 

“Not now,” Eunbi said, reassuring her mom, caressing her face. 

“Oh, great, thanks for the pass, honey,” she joked, shaking her head. 

“We need to take care of you and Aisha first, and Mama needs time to recover,” Jaehyun explained, turning serious again. 

“I know,” Eunbi smiled, turning back around, placing a hand on the baby. “I need Johnny to give me a cousin first.” 

Everybody laughed again, well, except for Johnny and Juliet that went pale and stared at her in disbelief. 

“Yeah, sorry to disappoint but for now the only thing we can give to you it’s your shaking horse turned into a unicorn,” Johnny said, pulling his girlfriend close to him. 

Eunbi smiled, “That’s fine, I love that too. I think I want to keep as the cool uncle and aunt for a little more.”

The first three months after pregnancy flew by. Having a small kid wasn’t easy, but Aisha was overall pretty good, just like her sister. She slept at night, didn’t have problems eating, and no health problems happened. 

And now that it was late June and Eunbi just finished going to kindergarten, they spent their days at their place in the countryside, enjoying the quiet of nature. Jaehyun was mostly taking over their duties since Scarlett was focusing on the kids and herself, but he still did his best to spend time with the family, especially during weekends. 

“You know,” Scarlett said, fixing the white hat on Aisha’s head while she was jiggling a toy in her hand, “my family never used this house,” she confessed, smiling bitterly. She fixed the white dress around her legs and looked up at Jaehyun that was keeping an eye on Eunbi that was playing in the small circular pool in front of them. 

“If I say I’m not surprised, do you get offended?” He replied, chuckling, turning around to smile at her. 

She shook her head, moving a little to let the baby sit better against her. Being almost four months old she managed to keep her head up, but still needed support to sit completely. “I know, but I was just thinking about all the things I missed.” 

“Your father surely wasn’t great at managing a kingdom and a family,” he replied, passing the small toy to Aisha again after she dropped it too far from her while shaking it. “But look at us, we’re doing a great job.” 

“We are. Are we superheroes or was he just so damn selfish?” She asked. “It’s not even about this place, but… all those small moments, you know. How can we find time to stay with them, play with them or read something, but he could never do it with me? I was just one.” 

“Because we care,” Jaehyun replied, caressing her hand with his thumb. “And are you finally over the idea of not being able to love them enough?” 

“I am,” she reassured him. “It was just a stupid fear. It could’ve been too much to take.”

“But it’s not. There are two of us. And as heavy as ruling a reign is, we are doing it well. We have Donghyuck’s help, your mother’s too. And we are taking time with them, everything’s going well.” 

“Yeah, I think I need to stop trying to find answers to justify him, he simply was evil and full of himself.” 

“I’m not one to judge usually but, I agree. Put him in the past, you have good things now. The memories you didn’t create with your past family, you will create them with us.” 

She smiled, snuggling closer to him and wrapping a hand around Aisha to pull her close to her, “Yeah, I love this.” 

“Mama! Dada!” Eunbi screamed, a towel badly wrapped around her body as she ran toward them to sit on the blanket on the grass, under the shadow of the tree. “Got baby a pretty flower!” 

“Oh, be careful she won’t eat it,” Jaehyun said, smiling while Eunbi leaned closer to her sister to hand her the big daisy she had found. Her small hands dropped the toy and grabbed the stem, making her giggle at the contact with the surface. 

“She likes it,” Eunbi clapped, sitting better in front of her, discharging the towel to the side carelessly. 

“Achoo!” Aisha sneezed when she brought the flower close to her nose and then stared at it with a confused expression but instead of crying, she started chuckling, making everybody laugh too. 

“She’s so weird,” Eunbi said through laughs. “Was I like this too?” 

“Yeah, you used to laugh at the word cheese,” Jaehyun told her, causing her to start laughing again. 

“Oh, and you didn’t stop,” Scarlett joked. 

“No, but it’s funny, why?”

Her dad shrugged, “just weird things little kids do, right?” 

“She wants to play,” she said when the baby started doing grabby hands to the toy that fell close to her. “Here, little one,” she cooed, passing her the toy into the hand that wasn’t holding the flower, smiling back at her when she smiled and babbled something. 

“You two have nice conversations,” Jaehyun joked, grabbing the towel and drying Eunbi’s hair more, making her huff and squirm. 

“Can she bath with me?” She asked, pouting.

“Yeah, but let’s see if she wants to,” Scarlett replied, “and be careful to don’t splash her, she might get scared.” 

“Yeah,” she exclaimed, getting up and rushing to the pool. “I’ll wait for you.” 

“We should get a bigger one and enjoy a bath, too,” Jaehyun proposed, helping Scarlett remove the leotard from the baby’s body and passing her the sunscreen cream.��

“We totally should,” she agreed. Luckily the day wasn’t extremely hot, but a fresh bath was always a good idea. “For now, we’ll get our hands wet and this will do,” she chuckled, getting up, carrying the baby and then they started walking toward Eunbi that was already waiting inside the water. 

The first meeting with water that didn’t imply getting cleaned was very nice, but the thing that interested Aisha the most were all the colourful toys and especially the way Eunbi’s orange duck splashed out water from her mouth. 

The afternoon passed pretty much the same until they got back inside to clean up and get ready for dinner, deciding to eat outside under the porch. 

“I’m so happy that we can be all together like we used to do,” Eunbi confessed mid—dinner, reaching out her hand to grab her sister’s hand that was laying in the stroller seat next to her. 

“Were you scared when we moved?” Scarlett asked, tilting her head to the side. 

Eunbi pressed her lips together, the same expression of Jaehyun’s face on hers. “I little bit,” she admitted. “I didn’t really understand what was going on. It was nice, new, but scary.” 

Her parents smiled, grabbing her free hand, and caressing it. 

“Whatever happens,” Jaehyun started saying, “just know that we will never leave your and your sister’s side.” 

“We are not going anywhere, little bird,” Scarlett reassured. “No matter how hard life will get, and how many things may change, we will always be able to count on each other.” 

Eunbi smiled widely at her parents’ words. She knew that. She had seen proofs of their love for each other, for her and her sister every single day of her life. She never doubted that what held them all together was stronger than anything. 

And as her little hand squeezed tighter around their hands and Aisha’s one, she felt like she never wanted to be anywhere else in the world. 

And even if she didn’t say it out loud, both Scarlett and Jaehyun, knew what she was thinking. They knew that after all the hardship, and the pain, and the fear, they managed to build up their own castle, with their own King and Queen and Princesses, that went beyond the fact they went back to where their story started. 

They succeeded in writing their own story. Their cursed fairy tale wasn’t written on a scarlet letter anymore, but the ink of what bonded them together was marked in the pages of a beautifully hardbound book. And their story, magical, beautiful, and tragic but with a happy ending, was going to be passed down forever. 

In the end, committing their gentle sin was worth it all. 

If you arrived here, thank you! ❤️ I hope you enjoyed it. Consider supporting me with comments, reblogs, asks and if you want, you can also donate here! 

#nct fanfiction #nct smut #jaehyun smut #jaehyun fluff #jeong jaehyun smut #jeong jaehyun fluff #jaehyun royal #jaehyun fanfiction #jung jaehyun smut #jung jaehyun fluff #jaehyun scenarios #jaehyun father au #nct 127 smut #nct 127 fluff

[appleciders]

–KT Tunstall

for @jouretnuit-nightandday​! you can read their wonderful fic of the same name here

#the wilds #thewildsedit #the unsinkable eight #this was a lot of fun!! these girls love each other so much #sorry i had to change a couple of the scenes up for aesthetic reasons but i hope it's still okay <3 #my edit

[steve0discusses]

Yugioh S5 Ep 18: A Series of Ecological Disasters

Booting up ye old Yugioh, booting up a new aesthetic playlist to type to. (today’s playlist is webcore, which would feel like such a damn fake aesthetic, if it weren’t that every single one of these -core aesthetics are pretty damn fake and everyone knows it.)

Anyway, it’s been so long that, I’ll be honest, I thought I booted up the wrong episode:

I usually skip the anime intro, but I try to watch it once each arc, cuz the intros change, and this arc was like “screw it, here’s all the other villains, just pretend this arc isn’t happening.” They had Pegasus, they had Marik, they have Bakura (who is kind of in this shot as well, you can see him phasing in there.) And like...I guess they’re hiding the villain of this arc or something because that was it. Alexander the Great got just nixed from this villain list and that’s a shame.

Just a real weird choice, but since apparently this arc didn’t air in Japan they probably had to outsource this anime intro and whatever studio in charge of it just cobbled together stuff from every other season and then a couple of shots of capsule stuff.

Speaking of capsule stuff: get a load of how many freakin lines the animators have to deal with every time they draw Grandpa.

Bro saw this and was like “oh yeah, this is a Shonen Jump” and yeah. The hair does give those vibes. We got a good look at what Vegeta would look like if he really let himself go.

(read more under the cut)

Sorry, my playlist started playing a song where every single line of the song is “Adrien Brody” and it took me like a few minutes to realize I was listening to “Brodyquest” completely seriously.

Damn it, webcore, don’t betray me like this.

Anyway, this arc does something super surprising: Yugi actually hugs somebody and doesn’t look like he’s going to pass out standing up.

It is pretty fitting that the good Yugi hug would go to Grandpa.

And, as night falls, Joey Wheeler has gotten hungry, and there is nothing to eat but his new best friend and spirit animal, baby dragon. Unfortunately he shares life points with the dragon, and I think if you eat it that just instakills you.

And directly underneath him--since this world is like 100 feet wide and things just conveniently happen--Tea has told everyone that they needed to stop worrying about Joey. Which is a lot coming from Tea, because her worrying about Yugi/Yami getting hurt is most of what occupies her headspace in this series.

But even Tea was like, screw Joey, I guess.

Who kinda just falls directly into them upside down, and shows us what Joey’s hair looks like when it’s sticking straight up.

For reals, admire how long Joey Wheeler’s hair is. If Tea were upside down, she would have the same length of hair.

Also speaking of Vegeta, I am low key concerned that Joey has what appears to be a significant amount of male pattern balding going on for a teenager.

Apparently getting set on fire many, many times did have an effect on Joey, and this massive pompadour he wears is a combover. Poor baby.

Holy crap, if this is what card stress and getting killed multiple times did to Joey Wheeler, can you imagine what’s going on under Seto’s bangs? That’s probably why his bangs ride so low, Seto likely wears a freakin toupee.

Guys, Joey’s gonna lose his hair at 25 at this rate. Those locks just aren’t long for this world. Poor baby.

After Joey rejoins the party, he immediately eats all of their food. Not sure why they can’t just have Baby Dragon eat like...whatever Baby Dragon naturally eats...and then transform that into shared Joey Wheeler life points, but it’s not clear exactly how much of a life-connection they have with their Yugioh monsters. Not like it matters because Joey Wheeler is default starving all the time anyway.

Tristan has decided we should start laying blame, I guess because Duke Devlin isn’t here anymore to be the local kill joy. This doesn’t seem to be important at any point, and most of the characters are just ignoring Tristan because like...once you’re in the haunted game in a haunted tomb in a random part of India--it’s kind of moot to argue about who’s fault that is, youknow?

Joey reminds us that he found this quest item in a treasure chest under a secret waterfall. No one says “that was convenient that you landed there after getting chased through a ravine by man-eating birds after you got your dragon from when you got your crotch injury from getting spliced by that tree.”

Which is when Tea says “Wait! We haven’t had a plot thing happen in like 4 seconds! Wait!”

Hey what degree of “I don’t trust nature” do you have to be to assume that all the flowers are trying to eat you?

Like what level of anxiety is Tea where she not only is like “pretty sure the flowers are going to destroy us?” but also...she’s correct? Like she’s not wrong.

They set the dog flowers on fire, but unlike the Jungle Book this doesn’t solve any problems (which apparently got taken off the Disney+ kid’s menu so...yet again, I make a Disney reference in these recaps that future generations will not understand because so much of the Disney library has been banned from the vault. It’s almost like Disney should let go of that copyright they held on for like a hundred years, because what they’re holding on to is only going to get more racist with time. But nah. Gotta hold on with their greedy mickey mouse gloves.)

So instead of using fire, Tristan used his monster to electrocute the air (?) and blind the dogs. Wisely, the animators quickly jumped to this other scene so we wouldn’t have to analyze why it’s suddenly daytime or why that plan would even work.

Joey and Tristan do a lot of buddy buddy stuff this arc. Usually we see a lot of Joey and Yugi’s bottomless friendship, but we don’t get this much Tristan/Joey love. So shippers rejoice, these two seem to have several coordinated dances and songs...and I’d say that teens don’t typically do that, but I went to summer camp, there are situational places where teens will sing the entire vacation and make coordinated dances.

Weirdly, since Joey and Tristan share so much time together, this also means Tea and Yugi actually sit next to eachother for a lot of this arc, almost as if they were a couple. Mind you, they’re chaperoned closely by Grandpa, but youknow...that’s a different energy than I’m used to seeing.

That and like, they can’t have Tea dance with them because last time she did a dance, it was like a DDR fight and she elbowed some guy like it was a fisticuffs situation. Like there was some sort of dance war going on behind the scenes of Yugioh’s card war, and it came up once and I guess Tea resolved it and the dance fights haven’t come back since.

Overall, if they did a dance with Tea, they would get kneed in the face, so that’s probably why they insist on doing cancans as a duet and not a trio.

After Joey and Tristan freak out over having no food, Tea decides to just start eating in front of them.

and like...didn’t Joey eat that food yesterday? Like last night? The short term memory loss on all these fools.

Immediately after this we realize something weird in the water. That’s right, it’s a massive head.

Yugi seems to have forgotten they lit this turtle on fire and electrocuted the entire sky the night before. Not that it mattered.

There were like...nesting birds on those trees on that island. What the hell? They just killed so MANY of those man-eating dogs that are flowers.

Seriously are land turtles allowed to just...dive underwater for long periods of time? How does that ecosystem even work? It’s like...That’s wild to think about.

Inside the temple, they have to fight a genie or something.

In case you were wondering, the only reason Tea and Grandpa got iced is because they were the closest to the door. The two who were actually standing out of harms way were the closest to harm the whole time.

Bro tells me this is also what will happen to you if you are in the front or the back of the party while playing Cthulu D&D

Anyway, Pharaoh decides to disclose that his big problem of feeling guilty all the time and taking all the blame, which he did all of last season...is still a huge problem he will probably never tackle.

Straight up, don’t be fooled by my caps, everyone else has completely forgotten about Alex, who is still running around that temple up there. They haven’t even asked Grandpa “hey is this your protege? Is this your mentee you never told us about?” Nah. They already forgot. 

How wild is it that Pharaoh thinks this is all his fault when he was the only one who was like “YUGI IT’S A TRAP DON’T GO IN THE- well...OK I guess we’re doing this, fine.” Is he upset he didn’t take control from Yugi and walk back to the plane? Because that’s the only way he could even be partially responsible, He was the only guy who was like “I see the end from the beginning on this y’all, and it’s the massive pyramid in India.”

Speaking of forgetting, they came across this language Pharaoh has decided to have nothing to do with.

This was actually a riddle and it was like...it was a riddle, sure, I guess.

And so Joey Wheeler does not hallucinate his dead wife from a previous incarnation and get on the back of his Baby Dragon to sail away into the sunset. Instead they’re just gonna walk.

Too bad Tea’s orb covered in wings only seems to hover a bit. Every single wing on that weird orb is absolutely useless.

And then Pharaoh’s pokemon is just a fire--which is hard to sit on--and Celtic Guardian...who would allow it, sure, but probably doesn’t fly (I think. He might fly)

And then Tristan’s Pokemon kinda seems like if you sit on it, you will get electrocuted. It can probably fly though. It’s very round. Seems like an anime thing that the more round your mascot character is, the more likely it can at least bounce a good distance.

So, next time, I’m just going to assume that we are going to do even more camping. And youknow, if you told me exactly HOW MUCH CAMPING was in this card game show with super future tech, I would not have believed you. But like...a lot of this series is set in the woods right? Like a lot a lot? I have grown to appreciate the woods.

Anyway, as always, if you just got here, this is a link to read these in chrono order:

https://steve0discusses.tumblr.com/tagged/yugioh/chrono

See you next time!

#yugioh #yu-gi-oh #recap #photo recap #S5 #Yugi muto #yami muto #grandpa muto #tea gardner #joey wheeler #tristan taylor #baby dragon #Ep18

[demonslayedher]

I'm glad you reactivated the questions, here are some flowers for you: 💐 Seriously speaking I'm sorry that because of a question I asked you a few weeks ago you watched a series of videos of psychopaths 🥲It made me laugh at first but then I felt guilty 💔 it's all Muzan's fault for leaving us all with curiosity (imagine his parents' reaction once they realized there was something wrong with him even as a human)

Yay, flowers (which I shall kill with my black thumb)! And no, no, it’s fine, I had hoped it came off funny! I like listening to stuff like that while I draw anyway because I’m a nerd anyway and I found it very interesting.

Speaking of being a nerd, you have innocuously unlocked the following essay about Heian period nobility and wisteria flowers: There is nothing to state so in canon, but I find it highly reasonable to say Muzan might had been of the very powerful Fujiwara clan. Step inside my office, Anon.

Okay. So. The Heian period, simply put, was a time of cultural flourishing and beautiful pastimes, the origins of a lot of Japanese style aesthetics, and a romantic courtly like of romancing everybody else in the court. This is assuming, of course, that you were at the very, very, very, very top of society. Otherwise, the vast majority of people were poor and sick and starving and ew, in young Muzan’s world, we do not wish to associate with that. In the Heian court, Kyoto basically is the whole cultural world. Even though there were other cities that could rival Kyoto, the emperor was there, so it was essentially the cultural center of the country. The nobles who lived there got money from owning land in far-flung provinces, but actually having to live in those provinces? What a drag! Having to live away from Kyoto for work, even if it wasn’t an official banishment, often felt like a punishment to the nobles and their families who were used to the social scene at court. And, like affluent courts around the world throughout history, understanding all the intricacies of style and “Heian Rumors” was key to having social clout, and popularity was power. And yeah, nobles would be vicious to each other. While clan dynamics and history are complex and not something I’m getting into here (I don’t consider myself well-versed in it enough), the Fujiwara clan is a BIG DEAL.  Basically, in Heian times, children were typically raised in their mother’s home, thereby heavily influenced by their mother’s clan, so besides a young man’s parents, his in-laws also would had been hugely influential in his life, as they will have a long-felt influence on his progeny. The Emperors typically married Fujiwara daughters. This, in addition to other positions of influence of the Fujiwara clan members usually held with influence over the Emperor, means that politically, there was no messing with them. Now, just because I say Muzan might had been a Fujiwara clan member, I don’t necessarily mean a member of the main branch of the family. Often, due to inheritance management, different branches of various noble clans might be given different surnames. The Fujiwara clan does have different branches, some of which did go one to have close ties with the imperial family even after the fall of their power at the end of the Heian period and all the way through the Taisho, and some branches carry some impressive family legacies but otherwise live like normal or high-class common folk in modern-day. (I know one such Ojousama from a renamed Fujiwara branch; she’s a sweetheart and never brings it up herself but every time I hear other people say things about her family, I’m like, dang.) We can venture from Muzan’s likely expensive medical treatment, multiple marriages (meaning other clans sought to be connected with his family even by marrying their daughters to a sick man), and even preparation for cremation as a baby that he was of a very, very high status. 

Being the sick son of a prominent family may have warped his personality in multiple ways: first, he was probably already used to a culture of popularity equated political power. We see in Muzan’s dealings with humans in the Taisho period that he can be exceedingly charming to get what he wants (a psychopath trait, haha), so he was probably pretty aware of the complex ways of socialites in the court. But, even being aware of that, it probably frustrated him to no end that he was too sick to take part in the social pastimes where he’d gain clout. It’s also possible that he was a bit of a bargain husband for his wives’ families who were seeking to a make ties with his family, as they must not had been politically useful enough to be married off to other powerful matches. This may be some of why he was so ruthless to them, for he never saw them as useful to him in the first place. This probably got a bit worse once he became a demon. Now to be lewd, but he probably got more vigorous in his pursuit of more powerful lovers, and knew how to slay the women’s hearts as he liked (you know, popular Heian pastime, everybody had lots of lovers, it was the norm, though political marriages and legitimate children were still important). That new sense of power probably went to his head. But, ultimately, he must had been limited in clout since he couldn’t take part in any daytime activities, thereby limiting his access to more powerful spheres of influence. His reputation from having grown up sickly must had followed him too. It’s anyone’s guess how much affection his parents had for him and how happy they were about his health at first, and if and when they might had noticed his changes. He was a full-fledged adult by the time he turned into a demon, so who knows how closely they even associated with him. They likely had healthier children who they devoted more care and attention to, and invested more family resources in while assuming Muzan would probably die young.

Who knows what the final straw was in Muzan leaving court? Was it frustration at not being able to walk in daylight that made him flee to the Kanto area in pursuit of the blue spider lily (from near where the doctor lived) long before Kanto became politically affluent? Or was it the rumors at court about how he didn’t age, and that he was eating people?

Of note, a lot of the early legends of demons in Japanese culture take place in the Heian period.

In his book “Japanese History of Demon Slayers,” retired Shizuoka University professor Tetsuo Owada capitalized on the success of Kimetsu no Yaiba to dive into a lot of ties between the series and what it may pay homage to throughout Japanese history and culture. While this was published last September and a handful of his theories have been disproven by the second fanbook published last February, and while I think a lot of his theories are stretching a little too far to make strong connections, it’s still deeply, deeply interesting stuff. He goes into some specific comparisons of demons, like Minamoto-no-Raiko and his posse of four big bad warriors taking on the Tsuchigumo (giant spider demon) terrorizing the mountains north of Kyoto harkening to the case of Rui’s family (and, ding ding ding, this was the primary focus of the official Kabuki/Kimetsu crossover last November), as well as takes little questions left in canon and dives into them a bit deeper. One such question is, why were wisteria lethal to demons? According to Prof. Owada’s research, there is no historical basis for this. Some of the talk online is that: 1. Wisteria are in fact poisonous, and consuming too much of them would cause vomiting and diarrhea (though I’ve also seen people make jam out of them because of the fragrance, so, like???) 2. Beans are thrown around at Setsubun to ward off demons (like so, Feat. Muzan and Kimetsu Beans), and wisteria are of the bean family 3. Wisteria like sunlight, so perhaps like Nichirin, they soak up some of the sun’s properties that are lethal to demons 4. In the language of flowers (Hanakotoba), wisteria symbolize kindness, welcomeness, refusing to leave someone’s side, being drunk with love, being straightforward and truthful, not losing the humanity in one’s heart, thereby containing a lot of meaning contrary to the conduct of demons Interesting, but some of its kind of a stretch. While still finding it a stretch to apply it to wisteria being poisonous to demons, Prof. Owada goes on to say that since ancient times, while the wisteria has some negative connotations of how it was sometimes written with characters meaning “doesn’t heal” (不治) and growing downward with smaller and smaller flowers like symbolize the slow downfall of a family line, it conversely also carries positive connotations of longevity and flourishing family due to the fact that its vines grow upward.

Now, you might picked up at some point that the Japanese word for wisteria is “fuji.” Not to be confused with Mt. Fuji (that’s written differently), it IS the same fuji as in “Fujiwara”: 藤.

Prof. Owada goes on to explore the association with the use of Wisteria crests in Kimetsu no Yaiba, especially on the houses of supporters of the Demon Slayer Corp. His recurring thesis is that the pandemic is partly responsible for Kimetsu no Yaiba’s popularity since demon legends have long since had origins in epidemics, and he supposes the Wisteria crest has a protective effect on the houses, similar to a talisman used in a lot of real life rituals for warding off illness and then often displays in or on the entries of houses to protect the family every year (I have one such item gifted to me, it stays by my doorway, along with a couple sticks of charcoal (but the culture of charcoal is a post for some other day)). The talisman is in reference to a god of Hindu/Chinese origins being treated with hospitality by the So clan, so although other families perished in disaster/disease, he promised to always protect the So clan descendants, so the talisman says “Descendants of the So Clan” so that any household may try to claim that divine protection. The gratitude-exchange of hospitality and protection and sure sounds familiar! Prof. Owada isn’t done yet. While the crest design used in Kimetsu no Yaiba isn’t an actual family crest in in real life, there are lots and lots and lots of family crests that use a wisteria design and have the character for “wisteria” in the name. Any time you hear “—tou”, like Satou, Saitou, or even Gotou, you can typically assume it’s 藤. It’s very common nowadays, but the first family to be granted the use of this name was the Fujiwara clan, when one of the pre-Heian and very powerful emperors granted their clan head this surname, which was a major honor, and it marked the start of the Fujiwara clan’s political dominance (there was already influence leading up to this, but meh, we like clear-cut stuff to simply centuries of history, don’t we?). Furthermore, although we often think of the Fujiwara clan for their influence at court, and we might think of the Minamoto clan for warrior heroes who fought demons, Prof. Owada concludes his argument of wisteria’s protective influence by pointed out a long list of Heian period Fujiwara warriors who also were the heroes of demon slaying legends, stating that their name has also long been tied with demon slayer culture. SO!!! Let me go on with my theory here. Muzan is from the same family line as Ubuyashiki. At some point (I assume after Muzan is long gone from Kyoto), the family is told while their children keep dying, and they accept their mission to bring an end to Kibutsuji Muzan and clear this curse on their family line. My thought is that their ancestor was a full blood sibling of Muzan, one whom was more invested in than sickly Muzan. While perhaps already an off-shoot of the Fujiwara Clan and thereby not entitled to the same sorts of inheritance, they probably maintained close ties with them. But, as it was already not direct by that time, the other Fujiwara clan branches were not affected by this curse. To further spare the clan the effects of this curse, this was probably when that sickly branch took the name Ubuyashiki. (And yes, I have things to say about this name and its possible mythological origins which I find a highly, highly interesting connection. Prof. Owada supposes it is tied with Izumo Taisha Grand Shrine and that is why there are nine pillars, but as much as I love Izumo Taisha and its giant pillars I base my argument in separate Shinto (but also Izumo!) mythology and accept that there are not always supposed to be nine Pillars specifically and Gotouge simply chose that number based on the number of strokes in the kanji for ‘Hashira’ (柱) BUT I DIGRESS). So, the Ubuyashiki Clan is it’s own thing, but is sort of like a cousin to the other Fujiwara branches and thereby continues to enjoy Fujiwara support throughout the Heian period, like some of the Fujiwara warriors going out there and slaying some of Muzan’s early demon experiments, and using their influence to bring in other warriors to the demon slaying cause (pet

theory: Genpei War warrior Kumagai Naozane was a member of the proto-Corp and using Kasugai-garasu was in practice since at least late Heian period). While the Ubuyashiki Clan probably already their own inherited land (and funds that came from it), throughout their history, their cousin clans might also have provided financial support to the Ubuyashiki Clan. But, they probably distanced themselves from the clan due to the curse and not wanting to be tainted. When you bring back in the wisteria associations this puts the contrary associations with a flourishing and dying family line in a new light. Furthermore, the “not healing” way of writing “fuji” also means a lot more in the context of Muzan’s, and later the Ubuyashiki clan’s illness.

#KnY nerdery #Kny fandom theories and meta #kibutsuji muzan #ubuyashiki kagaya #Kimetsu no Yaiba #Demon Slayer

[evakuality]

Mia, episode five

1.  One thing Druck is super good at is these aesthetic shots.  This whole opening bit reminds me of the scene with Amira when she’s praying in her room.  Lots of beautiful shots of the room, curtains and stuff, which are just super pretty with a few hints of colour.  I dunno, this is just an aesthetic I like and I appreciate that Druck caters to me.  Mia is so cute, too!  Like both the way she looks and also how kind she is.  She still doesn’t really like Alex a lot (though you could see in that montage from the previous night that she’s warming up to him) but she still feels like she should leave things looking nice.  These little post-it notes are sort of cute too, and you can see that she thinks they’re sweet.  I don’t like this Bjorn though.

2.  Interesting that we get a clip specifically one week later.  I have no idea how that must have felt while this was live, and I’m really glad that I didn’t have to live through these long gaps in any of the things I did watch in real time.  This one was reasonably low key though, so maybe the wait wasn’t as agonising.  If you didn’t know who Bjorn is (I’m assuming the Niko character) then nothing in the last couple of clips would have felt all that alarming.  But Mia’s so flirty here - that one conversation at his house must have really charmed her.  Pity we didn’t really get to hear a lot of it because he still hasn’t charmed me!!  And actually that ‘show a montage of how things are going while a song and/or other conversation plays overtop’ is a huge thing Druck does, I think.  I feel like in some cases (Matteo and David after their first pool kiss moment, for example, or Hanna and Jonas breaking up) work quite well.  But here, I think we needed to hear more of Alex to actually believe that Mia would be this flirty with him.  For me, this is too big a turnaround from her very cold manner with him at the piano and an actual proper look at that conversation might have helped.  But also, I am super biased because William and so maybe a more reasonable person might like it okay.  This bit with Linn is weird.  Genuinely creepy, and I’m not sure why they’re setting her up to feel like this.  Maybe some sort of hint of the creepiness to come with Bjorn (I’m assuming it’s coming, anyway).

3.  I don’t get this bit with all the pictures at the school.  I assume it will become obvious later but I’m not sure what exactly they were trying to do with this.  You’d think they run the risk of having the whole Abi chaker clan thing shut down - if this happened in my school there’d be so much trouble.  A groups of kids once put post-its all over one teacher’s room and they got in SO much trouble for it, and that wasn’t obscene like this is.  This thing here seems so targeted at the Abi thing, using their plan specifically, that it feels like someone outside the group wants them not to be allowed to run their theme.  Or someone in the group who wants a different motto maybe.  I don’t know, but it feels very mean and very specifically directed at this group of people.

4.  Hmmm, I’m with Leonie on this one.  I’d be giving Carlos the super evil stare too.  It may be ‘funny’ to some of these people, but given that there are younger kids at this school (I assume, right?  They still have classes running for the smaller ones at the end of Matteo’s season, allowing their prank to go ahead) this is sure to go down really badly with the school itself.  I’m rolling my eyes at the ones who are outraged that the school is considering reporting it - what did they expect?  Also, surely they can figure out who was doing it - people were literally throwing handfuls of the pictures over the stairs.  Surely they could work out who it is.  It’s pretty clear that Alex still thinks this is funny and I’m losing patience with him.  Every time it seems like maybe he’s getting less gross he goes and acts like this again.  Bleh.  I’m not often rooting for Leonie and feeling for her, but wow today I really am.  This is shitty and she has a right to be angry.

5.  Ew, Alex, why are you stalking Mia again?  She’s made it pretty clear she’s not happy with you.  Turning up out of the blue like a creep isn’t a good way to go about winning her over again.  His ‘we were drunk, what can you do?’ is so... stupid???  They’ve lost money from this, the school is really angry, they could easily have some pretty bad consequences and he’s all ‘meh, it was a drunken prank’?  I know money isn’t an issue for him, but there are issues here beyond the money.  I’m also kind of annoyed that everyone keeps suggesting she’s upset because she’s jealous.  I’ll be really annoyed if the show carries on this way - this isn’t just a silly little prank, and people have every right to be angry and annoyed.  Diminishing it to jealousy isn’t cool.  Is Leonie also jealous?  The people who are angry and upset they’re being blamed and their money has been taken?

6.  I do love scenes where the whole girl squad is together.  They make me happy and I miss seeing them together so much.  But OMG, Alex is blackmailing Mia again????  I mean I guess it worked the first time so why wouldn’t he?  But this is seriously shitty behaviour.  Honestly, in clip one I was mildly starting to warm to him with the post-its and all, but he’s managed to speed run right back into ‘asshole’ category.  This was the problem in the og as well - William was such an asshole, that in order to make him likeable, we had to see a much more genuinely villainous character.  Alex is still super dislikeable and so we need someone ‘worse’ to make him look palatable, which I assume is coming.  We’re halfway through - we should like him by now.  I dunno.  Maybe some people do?  But he still has done nothing to make me think he’s nice or someone who Mia might be attracted to.

7.  Oh a long Friday clip?  Almost half the episode?  I guess it’s going to be a rough one for Mia then.  More reflections again - her whole face in the mirror now, but it’s surrounded by graffiti.  I’m always fascinated by the way mirrors and reflections work, and it’s fun to see Mia slightly obscured in her mirrors even now.  It’s not as disjointed as it was at the start but it’s not a fully clear reflection either.  I may not like the way Noora/Mia’s story goes but I do like some of these things which show the progress.

8.  I feel kind of sorry for Jonas, because that break up wasn’t his choice.  But seriously, he seems to be blaming this on Hanna a bit and like ????? He chose to make her feel small and unworthy through her whole season.  She’s allowed to try to figure herself out outside of him and his wants and needs.  Eh, I know he’s hurting and all, but that’s actually his issue and he shouldn’t be pushing it on her.

9.  This scene with Mia and Alex bothers me.  He still seems to have no idea why she might find his actions (selfish and self-serving and filled with blackmail) offputting.  ‘I fixed it, so we should totally be together now’ is such an immature and childish take on this.  These types of guys need to grow up and learn that they can’t just buy and/or coerce their way into whatever they want.  I like the way they decide to have Kiki walk past just as Mia has to choose whether to say she doesn’t want Alex or not.  It adds a poignancy to it and Mia obviously chooses to stick by her friends.  I do wish it felt more conflicting, like if Alex genuinely had changed or had shown he has depth or something it would be a bigger ‘wow she’s rejecting him for her friend’ but instead he’s still such an unpleasant character that I don’t care.

10.  I’m not sure why Mia does the brushing off of the makeup - I feel like it made more sense when Noora did it (I mean I watched it once a very long time ago so who knows, but my memory is that it was her way of trying to reject being ‘pretty’ and having guys liking her because it was messing her up).  With Mia, I don’t understand.  Someone help me out?

11.  I still don’t get what Mia sees in Alex.  Again, I know I have a really big bias against him because of William and I know it was always going to be tough for him to be someone I care about.  But even so, this feels like a huge whiplash when she says of course she likes him.  I’d get it if we’d seen any of his development, but every time he took a mini step forward he shoved himself right back into dislikeable territory.  Once again, I mourn the actual conversation between Mia and Alex.  This all feels far too fast, and the fact that this is suggesting his blackmail is all good is very worrying.  All the post-it notes in the world can’t make me think he’s nice enough to want to kiss.

Overall, I didn’t really like this one.  I feel like the pacing is still off; I don’t believe the speed at which Mia has fallen for him and honestly it hasn’t been very long since Kiki was with Alex and had her heart broken.  The fact that Mia even saw her and told him she doesn’t like him only to turn around immediately and change her mind is strange to me.  Mia has always come across as a caring person who tries to do the right thing and help out her friends.  That she has apparently no qualms at this point is difficult for me.  They’re acting the hell out of this, but I can’t buy it.  Unfortunately.  Sadly, because this is based on a very flawed original, I don’t think it’s going to make me enjoy these two.  There are things that I’m interested in seeing as we go forward but most of those have zero to do with Alex.

#druck #mia - episode 5 #didn't like this one #update on feelings about Alex - still don't like him #honestly I don't see why Mia goes after him #none of this makes sense to me

[crow-in-a-teapot]

tower of nero spoilers

i have just finished the tower of nero. and before i go searching for other people’s thoughts and art and more of the characters i love so much, i want to write down some of my own thoughts because i know as soon as i delve into that ‘ton spoilers’ hashtag there are going to be complaints and criticisms and so much that i don’t want to hear, or essays that’ll make me upset, or things that’ll change my perception on the book (because on this website people really love to hate the trials of apollo).

i want to start with: i loved it. it didn’t feel earth-shattering or huge and momentous like some of my favourite riordanverse books (house of hades, the blood of olympus, the last olympian and maybe some of the magnus chase books take those pedestals for me) but it was satisfying. and i think it was satisfying because it in no way felt like an ending. whether because eventually rick will write that will-and-nico-go-through-tartarus-and-save-bob novella, or because we (or at least i) will continue writing and imagining and creating for this world i don’t know. he didn’t wrap up the story in a perfect little bow like ‘nineteen years later’, he simply put it on pause. gave us a glimpse of where every character was at at the end.

the only thing that makes me so angry and upset is that i did manage to get some spoilers for moments that i know would have been so good to experience for the first time if i hadn’t been spoiled for them. the moment where rachel mentions penguins in a mansion near her house, nico getting mental health advice from mr d, the fact that will and nico were going to be in the book for so much of the story, but the big thing was literally spoiled for me two days ago, it was the reason i sat down to read it as fast as possible because i was terrified of getting more spoiled and not being able to experience the moments for myself, was that piper had a girlfriend. i know that reading that for the first time would have been so cool and surprising, and the fact that when it came up for a moment in the last couple pages all i felt was disappointment because it was spoiled for me and because it was now tinged with whatever that person was saying about her having a girlfriend.

but i still had some warm fuzzy moments, the two parts where apollo thinks he’s going to die but nico comes up behind him - so good. impeccable. 

Leader Guy spat. ‘Now, I kill you.’

He raised his sword... and froze. His face turned pale. His skin began to shrivel. His beard fell out whisker by whisker like dead pine needles. Finally, his skin crumbled away, along with his clothes and flesh, until Leader Guy was nothing but a bleached-white skeleton, holding a sword in his bony hands. 

Standing behind him, his hand on the skeleton’s shoulder, was Nico di Angelo.

and

Nero raised his hand, ready to give the kill command, when behind me a mighty BOOM! shook the chamber. Half our enemies were thrown off their feet. Cracks sprouted in the windowsand the marble columns. Ceiling tiles broke, raining dust like split bags of flour. 

I turned to see the impenetrable blast doors lying twisted and broken, a strangely emaciated red bull standing in the breach. Behind it stood Nico di Angelo.

gods. poetic brilliance. i can’t believe i’m still a nico di angelo stannie in the year 2021. in five years i have not changed (ever since the tv show announcement last summer i have managed to morph into myself from 2017)

from here i’m not sure where to go next i kind of want to go through everything, except it’ll be more difficult than my tyrant’s tomb reaction because i wasn’t reading on a kindle and thus can’t just do funny little reactions to screenshots of quotes, so i’ll just skim through the book page by page and see what i can comment on (i’m not planning on doing analysis today, no thank you, just enjoying the end of my childhood and trying to squeeze as much out of it as possible)

i have an emotional attachment to mr. snake from the very first chapter, and am very upset that he’ll never get off on his baltimore stop and get to see his wife, lu had no reason to shoot and kill him like that.

that brings me to lu, i liked her, it was interesting to see how rick kind of brought in not only the overarching theme of abuse, but also people who let the abuse happen, i have more i could say on this i’m too lazy to right now, and i promised no analysis - or the fact that Lu had conspired to make the show non-lethal to spare Meg’s feelings rather than - oh, I don’t know - refusing to do Nero’s dirty work in the first place and getting Meg out of that house of horrors. 

And are you any better? taunted a small voice in my brain. How many times have you stood up to Zeus?

Okay, small voice. Fair point. Tyrants are not easy to opppose or walk away from, especially when you depend on them for everything.

the parallels to meg and lester heading to percy’s apartment, and then to camp half blood to the hidden oracle was so cool to read, every callback to the hidden oracle just there to remind us readers exactly how far apollo has come and how he’s changed; the entire chapter with sally, paul and estelle just felt sickly sweet, it just didn’t seem real how wholesome and good that family is, like i get why apollo broke down and just sobbed in that shower.

also rick really saying acab again in toa, i thought he was done after that elf cop chapter in magnus chase (the magnus chase series is a masterpiece) but apparently not, with A ‘good cop’ is still a cop... still a part of the mind game.

the grey sisters, i forgot about them completely but this threw me back into was it the sea of monsters when annabeth summoned them? i’m not sure, it could have been the lightning thief either, they really remind me of the disney hercules movie. the whole ganymede paragraph was gold, i love gods being canonically confirmed lgbt in the riordanverse. i also love the whole eye-tossing part - 

‘He will crush our eye,’ Anger cried, ‘if we don’t recite our verses!’

‘I will not!’

‘We will all die!’ Wasp said. ‘He is crazy!’

‘I AM NOT!’

‘Fine, you win!’ Tempest howled.

also, the explanation for why dionysus chooses to look the way he does was perfect, because it was something i often wondered about and wasn’t expecting to get an explanation for, and i imagine the whole mythological dionysus to look like.. well like a more feminine apollo i guess, beautiful in a gender non-comforming way.

Other Olympians could never comprehend why Dionysus chose this form when he could look like anything he wanted. In ancient times, he’d been famous for his youthful beauty that defied gender.

... 

In retaliation, Dionysus had decided to look and act as ungodly as possible. He was like a child refusing to tuck in his shirt, comb his hair or brush his teeth, just to show his parents how little he cared.

every scene with nico at camp just BREAKS ME, i would throw in screenshots of every damn quote but unfortunately, as said above, cannot and would rather not type every one; we’ll start with, obviously apollo confirming to him that jason is dead. 

He didn’t look angry exactly. He looked as if he’d been hit in the gut not just once but so many times over the course of so many years that he was beginning to lose perspective on what it meant to be in pain. He swayed on his feet. He blinked. Then he flinched, jerking his hands away from Meg’s as if he’d just remembered his own touch was poison.

ugh then will talking about how nico’s doing, confirming that he’s suffering with ptsd, mr d giving him advice, helping him sort though what voices in his head are real and which ones aren’t, then the paragraph that just recounts every horrific thing poor nico has been through, how will has to reassure him that he’s okay and ‘with friends’ when he wakes up after shadow travel

will’s kindness to apollo, buying him clothes, and apollo finding seymour the leopard’s head in his bed, put there by mr d aaaa AAAA A A A A A THE ORDINARY, EVERYDAY CAMP HALF BLOOD THINGS..

i could go on for years and years about how much i appreciate rachel having a big role in this book, and the visit to her apartment, everything, her art, the fact that she got what she wanted, she’s going to PARIS to study ART, she isn’t forced to be someone she’s not by her dad, and gets to be a big part of a demigod mission and not stand on the sidelines for once.

i love that her landscapes are still visions, that she still paints the quests demigods go on - the burning maze, jason’s funeral pyre, caligula’s ships; and how nico ~appreciates art~

‘And, hey, di Angelo -’ she pushed him playfully away from the canvas he’d been ogling - ‘don’t brush against the art! I don’t care about the paintings, but if you get any colour on you, you’ll ruin that whole black-and-white aesthetic you’ve got going.’

i. love. rachel.

WILL GLOWS!! THE HEADCANONS FROM LIKE FIVE YEARS AGO THAT YOU’D SEE FLOATING AROUND ABOUT HIM MANIPULATING LIGHT!! CONFIRMED!! CANON!! AMAZING

I AM  OBSESSED WITH THE TROGS, I LOVE THEM, THEY ARE GREAT, not gonna lie, i was expecting something more dramatic and spooky with how worried will was and how dionysus was going.. visiting the cavern-runners isn’t ♫ good for your mental health  ♫ but the little hat frog gremlins were a good addition. i like them very much and their funky little soup shenanigans. quoting the ghost king himself: trogs good. nice hats. (IM SORRY I KEEP MENTIONING HIM BUT I JUST) also how apollo starts wishing for breadsticks a s ajoke and theY STRAIGHT UP HAVE BREADSTICKS? HUH? WHERE DID THEY GET THE BREADSTICKS FROM??

yeah, i’m also still very much upset by every mention of jason grace, it’s funny how ever since his death in the burning maze i have grown to love him more and more and that’s not fun for me, for that boy to become one of my main comfort character’s and have his death and sacrifice and nobility mentioned every few chapters. i’m pretty sure i cried when he appeared to talk in apollo’s dreams, and this time the tears weren’t from the effort of keeping my eyes open and working for hours straight reading this book (i remember staying up until 2am to finish the sequel to beautiful, broken things, it was very much worth it)

‘All right, Jason. We miss you, though.’

ALSO. THE FACT THAT THIS KID. THIS CHILD. HAD TO THINK ‘BUT IF A HERO ISN’T READY TO LOSE EVERYTHING FOR A GREATER CAUSE, IS THAT PERSON REALLY A HERO?’ A KID ISN’T SUPPOSED TO THINK ABOUT THAT AND BE READY TO SACRIFICE THEMSELVES FOR THE GREATER GOOD,, i,, ugh,, he’s supposed to be finishing school and designing temples not being the perfect hero and soldier,, spain without the s,,

as @couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name said: ‘thinking about how ghost! Jason didn’t seem to understand why Apollo was so upset about his death because he’s been raised to believe a hero’s sacrifice is noble and his life doesn’t matter in the grand scheme and also if he doesn’t understand why the person who watched him get horrifically killed is so torn up over his death he probably doesn’t even realize his other friends are grieving him..’

IM SO UPSET THE ARROW OF DODONA IS DEAD D: IT WAS ONE OF MY FAVOURITE CHARACTERS ALL THE FUNNIEST MOMENTS WERE BECAUSE OF THAT ARROW AND IT'S DEATH WAS SO SAD WTH LIKE WE FIND OUT HOW USELESS THE ARROW FELT AND HOW THE GROVE OF DODONA ALL THOUGHT IT WOULD BE CRAP AND WOULD FAIL APOLLO AND THEN ONCE WE FEEL BAD FOR IT, IT DIES??

the entire python battle was pretty grim, there is a part of me that's like because this is the last book series i would have loved say the magnus chase and kane chronicles gang in a giant battle with everyone like the battle of manhattan but even more dramatic, but even so, i did appreciate that python battle and the whole almost-falling-into-the-depths-of-tartarus thing.

him talking to artemis was cool, but JESUS: 'I turned and strode out of my room, trying to recall how the god Apollo walked.' like that HURTS. it was such a huge culture shock for apollo to go throught this huge character arc and be so human and understand the pain of others, to be around gods again who are so.. apathetic. also, zeus. 'Interesting how he put that: I had done him proud. I had been useful in making him look good. My heart did not melt. I did not feel that this was a warm-and-fuzzy reconciliation with my father. Let's be honest: some fathers don't deserve that. Some aren't capable of it.'

OKAY OKAY SO THE END?? CHIRON TALKING TO A CAT (BAST) AND A SEVERED HEAD (MIMIR) ABOUT SHARED PROBLEMS WITHIN THE PANTHEONS!! WILL AND NICO RECEIVING A PROPHECY FROM RACHEL TO GO TO TARTARUS AND SAVE BOB!! THE HUNTERS OF ARTEMIS, INCLUDING THALIA AND REYNA BEING BEST FRIENDS (qpr.. qpr..) HUNTING THE TEUMESSIAN FOX!! PERCY, ANNABETH AND GROVER, THE ORIGINAL TRIO, GOING ON A CHAOTIC ROAD TRIP TOGETHER!! - SO MANY STAND-ALONE SET -UPS PFSJSJSJ

okay quick word on the reunions at the end: funny little elephant visitation program with livia and hannibal. love that for them. calypso and leo's relationship seems rocky and complicated, but that's to be expected, i think even if they do get properly back together again it might not last long, because it does pretty much feel like a teenage relationship where the two aren't very compatible, but we'll see. hazel and frank are so funny with their gold plated necklaces. lavinia - tap-dance icon. almost cried at the mention of jason's temple-extension plan again. percy not being sure about what he wants to do in college is accurate and i like that that's left to be up-for-interpretation (rick does THE MOST for the fanfic writers pfsjsj). i am OBSESSED with aeithales, like i hate deserts so the burning maze setting is not my favourite but GOD that HOUSE, the vibes are off-the-charts. i'd love a house made of living trees that's also a greenhouse filled with dryads. meg gets a unicorn. that is so great.

i kind of wish the book hadn't ended with 'Call on me. I will be there for you.' because every time I imagine the friends theme song and i don't think that's the vibe he was going for, BUT i do love him talking to meg, that was genuinely emotional - 'You'll come back?' she asked. 'Always,' I promised. 'The sun always comes back.' ; i really wish it had ended with that, but i guess apollo does tend to break fourth walls and talk to the readers, like a lot of the protagonists of riordanverse books.

#the tower of nero #tower of nero #tower of nero spoilers #the tower of nero spoilers #nico di angelo #rachel elizabeth dare #will solace #jason grace #apollo #trials of apollo #the hidden oracle #the dark prophecy #the burning maze #the tyrants tomb #percy jackson #annabeth chase #grover underwood #lester papadopoulos #meg mccaffrey #dionysus #piper mclean #hazel levesque #frank zhang #reyna arellano #thalia grace #leo valdez #calypso #brooklyn house #original content

[sanstropfremir]

the hotly anticipated kingdom episode 7 review is here!!

this episode was a lot less spectacle-y than the last one (the last episode with stages, i mean), and i think that was a good choice for all the groups on the whole to tone it down on the run up to the finale, because at the rate everyone was headed there would be no room to go any higher. i'm very glad that there was actually a collab stage and not just a song swap, especially because it gives a chance for the boys to work together and make friends when they otherwise arent going to be able to interact much. love love love to see them making friends and having fun doing these stages!

i'm not really sure why mnet didnt put the vocal stage this episode, because what on earth else are they going to put in the next episode with it??? i know it's a content stretch but still, it seems like a weird choice to me. anyways, there’s four stages for me to talk about this time and i'm going to try to not ramble out of control, but we’ll see. i did enjoy watching all of these, but we’ve all got favourites and i'm going to rank by which group i liked better out of the two for each stage, and then i put a few conclusions at the end. strap in folks this is another long one.

rap stages

skz + btob + atz

i was actually really surprised at how much i liked this stage. i would not classify myself as a rap fan and believe it or not i actually do not place a lot of importance on lyrics when enjoying music. although i have very high lyric retention and comprehension, i focus more on the sound than the literal words, so a fair amount of rap is swing-and-a-miss in my personal listening. plus when you add a language barrier on top of that, a lot of the nuance and technical skill of it just flies over my head. so i really dont have much to say about the sonic elements this time around, sorry. also.....i know i joked that nobody from the kingdom staff is reading my reviews.....but is someone from the kingdom staff reading my reviews????? i specifically mentioned that i think skz should do an art themed stage and then we got one????? i know i manifested the punk ateez stage but did i manifest this also??? am i just that powerful???

costume

obviously these are pretty basic rap/hiphop stage looks, but the white was a really good choice for visibility’s sake, and also thematically: it reflects the colours in the lighting really well.

i am DYING to know who the designer of minhyuks jacket is. if somebody knows please tell me i love it so much. it looks like some of the recent belted jackets that dior was putting out, but the drawing on the front armscythe piece reminds me of the superm/kim junggi collab for tiger inside. say whatever you want about superm, but you cannot deny that that is not some of the coolest merch on the kpop scene.

loved the traditional korean elements that came through in addition to the western references: the screens, hongjoong’s fan, minhyuk’s big fuckoff brush, the masks, and the sleeves on the dancers at minhyuk’s bit. those are a costume feature from a style of korean traditional masked dance called bongsan talchum. the masks themselves are versions of hahoetal masks, which are used in a very specific archetypal ritual dance in andong. i think these are imae masks, who is the servant/fool archetype that mocks the nobleman and the scholar. i suspect that was a deliberate choice, but i can only speculate.

another point about the masks which is not relevant but maybe a fun fact for people who don’t know. i actually thought at first that they were western theatre half masks, which are a very old style of mask that, like with hahoetal masks, represent a number of archetypes/stock characters. maskwork is a very common training practice in theatre schools, because it teaches body language and control, because half your face is covered and you cannot speak in your own voice (sometimes you cannot speak at all, this is one of the rules of full mask). the tradition of usings masks to portray emotion goes all the way back to the ancient greek chorus, but more commonly people in the west sometimes know it from the italian commedia dell’arte, of which you will have definitely seen some of the character archetypes before. i just find it neat that the same types of art pop up in different places seemingly independently of each other. humans are cool.

set

not much to say here, it's pretty bare with just some propwork. thought the screen use was fun and they used it smartly in a couple of transitions. 

thought changbin’s bit of ‘interrupting’ the artists was cute and fun. there’s obviously a picasso reference there, and the four technicolour paintings are a reference to andy warhol’s pop art silkscreen portraits, most famously of marilyn monroe, but he also did many other celebrities in the 70s and 80s.

lighting

i LOVED this lighting. super bright and fun, lots of use of colour, obviously. the projections were there to enhance the visuals and weren’t distracting in any way. i thought the transition to black and white/ink with minhyuk was smart and had good contrast, it gave a strong rhythm to build back up to for the climax.

sound

bang chan’s ‘spelling colour with a u’ bit had me SCREAMING with laughter. we spell colour with a u normally bang chan, the americans are the ones that are wrong. 

staging

i don’t really have a whole lot to say here, it was pretty straightforward and fun. like i’ve said in previous reviews, i wish they were more conscious of the steadicam direction and would stop showing extended bits of the production crew. at least everyone was wearing full blacks this time.

fun use of the upward angle combined with the groundwork/leg choreo during hongjoong’s verse, that was a highlight for me.

sf9 + tbz + ikon

nothing against this stage, the other one just hit harder for me. bobby is the best rapper on the show and he really carried this stage with his charisma. he’s a fun performer to watch and he knows how to command a space. i'm sure there’s technical notes that people have about the raps themselves, but i'm here looking at visuals as a priority, which i'm sure you’ve all grasped at this point.

costume

these were clearly extensions of these idol’s personal styles, with is a perfectly fine choice, especially for a rap stage where the emphasis is more on authorship. LOVED bobby’s 11yro girl at recess look.

amusing that both rap stages involved paint in some way? loved the backup dancers shooting supersoakers filled with paint at them, but i wish i knew the reason for it? i'm glad i saw this stage first because i would have been underwhelmed by the paint throwing if i had seen this after rainbow bonanza.

set

almost no set at all here, just a few props. i'm not judging as harshly on lack of set this round because these stages are meant to be more about skill than anything else. 

lighting

i loved the projections, i thought they were unobtrusive and i admit, i LOVE outer space themed anything.

i liked that they did more concert lighting and had no projections in the first half to put more focus on the performers, it really highlighted the fact that this stage was about them, and not about anything extraneous.

sound

it was indeed a song.

staging

i do wish there had been a bit more control of the space, because it did look very empty at some parts and they could have staved that off by keeping tighter camera shots. this stage is so fucking big, holy shit.

they really brought their onstage chemistry and they looked like they were having a blast, which FINALLY!! 

i actually really liked hwiyoung’s opening, i think there was a lot of potential there for some sharp contrast work that i wish had been played through a little more, especially with the cool white light overtop the black costumes. it actually reminded me a bit of the intro in the music video from a rapper i do actually listen to, bewhy’s gottasadae.

glad to see some more use of camera effects with the black and white, but why did they do it over the paint throwing? it just made the trajectory of the paint invisible because there was no colour contrast.

performance stages

sf9 + tbz + ikon

ok obviously im gonna have a lot more to say about the performance stages, nobody is surprised there. this one was the better constructed of the two and my personal pick for better stage, but i actually liked watching the both of them equally.

costume

king shit, literally. we love contemporary hanbok in this house. there was good colour and style distinction between the three of them without clashing. 

costume change was fun and neatly blocked, it's pretty common to see backup dancers and chorus hiding quickchanges but i liked how this was a more unusual formation.

taeyang rocking the organza skirt and the big purple eyeshadow, thank you for keeping it cunty as always.

i really liked juyeon’s underlayer look. finally we get a good tbz costume look thats thematically relevant!

set

like all the stages this round, pretty minimal. the setting was almost entirely established through the costumes and the projections, which is some really good designwork. it's pretty much just the litters (the lifted chairs they entered on), and some smaller props. they managed to not make the stage feel empty because there was a lot of projection visuals to compensate, which is difficult to do without being overbearing, but i think they mostly pulled it off.

i originally thought it was gonna be weird to try and mesh the traditional korean architectural aesthetic with the weird mnet deco, but i ended up not noticing it as much as i thought i would.

lighting

like i just said, projections very well done and do a fantastic job of conveying setting without being overly distracting. like with the atz/skz/btob rap stage there’s a really broad range of colour use here that they offset by brightening and properly fill lighting the faces so you can actually see what’s happening.

the use of the strobing lasers and more concert style lighting fit really well with the change in the music from traditional instrument sounds to electronica and the more hiphop/isolated movements.

sound

i liked it well enough! i think it had a good arc that we can see echoed through the rest of the piece, like previously stated in the lighting and movement style. 

staging

like i mentioned with the quickchange, there was some really interesting formations using the backup dancers here, especially as a lead toward/away from the camera

having the three of them enter on litters; again, literal king shit, love to see it.

this has a pretty clear narrative that doesnt really need an external explanation, which is good. i have to assume that the burning of the paper with 妃 (concubine) is intended to be a gesture of ‘burning’ the love out of their hearts, but that was the only thing i'm still confused on. this may very well turn out to be a reference to a specific story that i just have no idea what it is, but we’ll see once the subs are out!

i loved juyeons solo bit with the alcohol drinking and the table flip, that was the choreographic highlight for me. i just really wish he would use the other muscles in his face more often. we know youre pretty, you dont have to blue steel your way through all your performances!! take a page out of donghyuk’s book and make some ugly faces, it's good for you!!

i though taeyang’s swordwork was fine, but since i do actually have a decade of sword training i'm very judgemental. it's not bad, he obviously has practiced with the weapon and he knows how to control it, but he doesn’t have the same understanding as someone who has trained with a sword as a weapon and not just as a prop. if we hadn’t seen another stage with swordwork in it i probably wouldn’t have brought this up (that's a lie, i still would have brought it up, i have a third dan), but you can really see the difference between how minhyuk moves with his sword and how taeyang moves. a lot of this has to do with the proper weighting of the blade, which i mention briefly in my second episode review in btob’s section (and also this ask here, where i talk about properly weighted weapons in relation to the gun choreo in sf9’s and ateez’s previous stages); minhyuk is likely using a ‘real’ sword (it’s blunted but still made using proper methods and materials), and taeyang is using a cheaper-made replica (unless you’re doing full contact striking a LOT there’s no way a properly made blade breaks like that. also you would never tape it together hello??? respect the blade). if you know what you’re looking for, you can tell from the movements themselves when someone has training. minhyuk did a load of real training for a film where he was a swordsman, and you can tell; the sword is an extension of his arm, all the movements lead with the tip of the blade first, because that’s your first, your fastest, and your most dangerous point. you do 90% of your cutting with the first eight inches of blade, but it takes a lot of specific training to get your hands and arms to a place where that kind of movement is possible. taeyang’s movements are driven from his hands, which is unsurprising, because that’s where he’s used to his extensions stopping. the tip follows rather than leads. wow this got insanely sidetracked i hope you liked this crash course on swordwork.

this is pretty much what i expected to see from this unit. these three groups all have standout soloists, so i wasn’t surprised to see these three boys as the picks. juyeon and taeyang especially, theyre both from groups that are more likely to do experimental stages and choreography that highlights them as soloists and skilled dancers.

skz + btob + atz

this was a letdown from ateez’s last two stages, because they knocked those out of the park, but it's only fair that they have a bit of a fall. that being said, i did really enjoy watching this for its sheer ridiculousness; i’m forgiving the wolf concept this time because well, it’s wolf. you can't cover wolf and not do a wolf concept, that’s against the law. also, like i’ve said before, i'm all for dark concepts IF you give them thematic weight. is it on the nose? yes. is it thematically relevant? also yes. is it dumb? also also yes, but that’s never stopped a single kpop group in the history of ever.

costume

friendship restored with ateez stylists, rivalry started with skz stylists. the fur shoulder fluffs??? stupid and i love them. perfect in every way. however i keep seeing the same fucking costumes on the skz boys and i will come directly for the stylists at jype if they dont get their shit together. be! more! creative!!!

i really really wish they had gone more 2013 kpop with it, we need more of that ugly ridiculous styling. peniel was actually pretty close, with the overly long tunic and those yellow lenses. very vixx on and on (yes i know they were vampires from outer space, let me live)

i actually thought the wolf gloves were fun? the small bits of uv paint actually worked instead of looking out of place, and i'm glad they put them on wooyoung because the uglier an outfit, the better he pulls it off. 

set

same dice, just the long table and the camo net at the beginning, which i thought was unnecessary. the table was useful for levels though, so happy to see they utilized that.

lighting

there is so much happening all the time. lots of lasers. it's definitely aiming for camp territory, and i dont actually hate it as much as i did on my first watch. it actually wasn’t as dark as i thought either, because its mostly lit with blue and amber. but it doesn’t really have that great of an arc and its not really that good on the whole.

the projections are a bit much for me, but that’s only when i'm actually looking at them. true to form, i didn’t even notice the excess of red slashes until like my fourth rewatch because i was too busy watching the performers.

sound

rookie exo my beloved. the original wolf goes so hard for absolutely no reason, so i’m not knocking this stage for being ridiculous. in fact it should have been more ridiculous. i think they did a fine job updating the song for a.....less 2013 sound. 

i like that they didn’t bother to live sing the stage even though they recorded vocals for it, it gave them all a chance to actually focus on just the dance.

that being said, i am kind of missing all the adlibs from the original. but even though there’s some strong vocalists in this unit, they aren’t made of the same stuff as baekhyun, luhan, chen, AND d.o.

i literally just realized that peniel had already debuted when this song came out AND is technically exo’s senior because btob debuted like two weeks before exo officially did.....oh no

staging

choreographically this feels a lot more like the skz stages that we’ve seen rather than the ateez ones, so i'm curious as to who the choreographer was. 

the tricking was definitely more ridiculous in this one, but i can't really say any of it was there for no reason because it all had elements of fighting in it. the scale of the tricks was quite large though and not very well blended with the rest of the choreo, which ending up making them look awkward. i thought it was a nice detail that they shone a green toplight on the dancers that made up the cliff wooyoung climbed up so that it looked like there was grass on it. cute.

the blocking is lacking a lot of fluidity, and i think that’s partially the scale of the tricking and also the editing, because this editing is TERRIBLE. there’s so much cutting, why is there so much cutting!! haven’t we already learned that longtakes are the best for this???

there’s a lot of stuff here that had good potential but could have been pushed a little farther. i feel like i say this for every mediocre stage, but what can i say, i'm good at constructive criticism. 

they should have given more showcase to the tree and the scratching arms; it's the most iconic move!! i also wish they had kept some kind of iteration of the different unit ‘leaping’ in over the exiting one, i always thought that part of the original choreo was really fun and did a lot for establishing them as wolves. 

i LOVED peniel entering with all those backup dancers in chains, thats some fucking iconic shit. very ‘im the alpha wolf,’ which is valid because he’s like at LEAST five years older than everyone else on the stage. i wish that instead of being the backup dancers it was the actual members, because THAT would have been an image. theyre all wearing harnesses and collars anyways, just clip em in! he’d be like one of those dogwalkers!

me last week: specifically talking about how krump is an uncommon style in kpop and it's very hard to get right kingdom, throwing the manifesting dodgeball at me for the third time: here would you like a KRUMP SOLO?

if you didnt believe me before that krump is hard to get right, i sure hope you do now. peniel did fine, but you can see how easily you can veer off into looking ridiculous.

some conclusions

i mentioned this really briefly in an ask i got earlier today, but i do think it's important to establish that the two performance units are doing two different types of performances. i can understand why people are underwhelmed by the atz/skz/btob stage and wanted it to be less of a traditional kpop dance stage and more like the experimental stages we’ve been seeing for the last few weeks. and i agree! i think they could have done more with it. but i also think that this kind of stage was a good choice for this particular subunit. unlike with the sf9/tbz/ikon unit, there are not really any standout technical soloists in ateez or skz. ateez has, in my opinion, the highest ratio of dancers with actual stage presence of any of the 4th gen groups ive seen. they’re at a solid 75% for any given performance, and occasionally they can bump that higher depending on the stage. that high of a stat is rare. it's extremely rare for a group to have all its members have good stage presence (i can think of like, maybe two or three?), and to get over 50% is pretty damn impressive. but ateez’s strength isn’t in how good they individually are as dancers, but it's in how well they work together. there’s a reason why they put FIVE of them in the performance unit. one of the first things i said about ateez to hanya is ‘i love wooyoung but he doesn’t stand out when he's not centre.’ which is for good reason!! he’s not supposed to! they all willingly give up centre and take it back when they need to, because they have that charisma. there’s a very cohesive push and pull to watching ateez that speaks to their strengths as performers. dancing in a group where you are all meant to be equal is a very different skill than just being a talented soloist. you have to understand what to prioritize in a different way. taemin dances differently with shinee that he does in his solo career, especially since they’ve been back. he understands when to step back; more often than not i find key to be the standout dancer in shinee choreo.

this is a very long winded way of saying that wolf was a good choice for them even though the stage didn’t turn out as well as it could have. also the fact that they made a cohesive performance at all, with a week of rehearsal and while working with essentially strangers is a feat and speaks to all of their skill at their job. performing in a group is a huge part of kpop, and they did call this the performance stage, and not the dance stage.

i'm not entirely sure on what the breakdown is on why each of the subunits were formed. i know the team sizes are extremely uneven, with sf9/tbz/ikon clocking in at 26 people and atz/skz/btob clocking in at 17 (i'm not counting changsub because he's not there and probably has a scheduling conflict), which is like, a whole extra group of difference. but atz/skz/btob utilizing their whole groups for each of the units (5/3/1 for performance, 1/3/1 for rap, and 1/1/1 for vocal, for 7/7/3 total), verses sf9/tbz/ikon only bringing out six people for these two stages and then six for the vocal stage is......weird? that's over half of their group number that’s not performing. i do think the groups brought out their standout performers and made smart choices with the stages but the balance still strikes me as odd. i do wish tbz had actually done some group choreo because they are very strong group performers and it would have been fun to watch.

ateez really played the long game here, good job boys. teaming up with the group who gets the highest fan votes AND the group with the strongest technical skills? i see you.

i think this is probably too wild of an assumption and is only based on circumstantial evidence but.....i think hongjoong might actually have a lot more creative sway than i previously thought. all the stages he’s been a part of have been very well designed, and i know he provided suggestions for the two ateez stages prior to this... i’m probably thinking too much. 

ok you know what i know there were some other points in my brain somewhere but this is already 4000 words so i’m going to stop. if i remember anything else its probably gonna end up in the answer to some of the asks i’m inevitably going to get because i think my opinions on these ones are a little bit more controversial, whoops!

not entirely sure if ill do an extensive review for next week’s stage, because i'm not really a ballad fan and i dont really do vocal reviews, but i could do a quick one. i guess it also depends on what else they put in the episode. we’ll see!!

#kingdom #kingdom review #ateez #btob #stray kids #the boyz #sf9 #kpop analysis #if you read this i hope you like fun facts about theatre and swords! #despite having never seen me hanya managed to clock that hongjoong and i are extremely similar #so that might be why ive jumped to this nonsensical conclusion #also tbh i do have an opinion on why the unit breakdowns are like that but its mean so i will keep it to myself #ok im done now #i patiently await my asks #text #lol forgot to tag #ikon

[nekoabiwrites]

Oh my god, they were roommates...

IT’S @not-so-innocent-bi-sander‘s BIRTHDAY! At least in my time zone~ And I tried my best to make a fic that covers all that Jordan loves :D

AU: Human/College AU Pairing: Prinxiety Words: 3408 Warnings: Panic attack, nudity. Anything else, please let me know!

Summary: Virgil didn’t think he’d ever see him again and yet, here he was... and he was hot!

--

“Across the hall from your room is our final roommate, Virgil Evans. He pr-”

“Virgil Evans?!”

The loud exclamation of his name had something clicking in the young adult’s mind. The voice was eerily familiar, though Virgil would have sworn up and down that it was just a hallucination and that no one was even out on the landing. The now muffled voices and the thumping of heavy things hitting the ground told him that someone was definitely out there, or at least was before they moved into the empty room opposite his own. There was no way it could be… could it? He went to shake the thought from his head and get back to work, but a sudden excited knocking at his door interrupted him. With a slight shake of his hand, Virgil walked up to the door and grasped the handle to see who was on the opposite side.

Everything stood still immediately once the door was opened. Virgil was, metaphorically, flung back in time by the mere sight of the man before him.

They had both been akin to outcasts in middle school; one a fledgling emo who was too scary and quiet, the other a small pudgy child who was too loud and excitable. Somehow, they were complete opposites yet fit so well together, almost like puzzle pieces. They liked to play make-believe, watch Disney movies, draw and paint. Though, on a deeper level, there was far more in common.

Virgil had been in denial in middle school. He realised that he found his friend absolutely adorable and really cute, and he realised one day during a pretend scene of true love’s kiss saving the day that he actually did like kissing his friend. But Virgil couldn’t say that, it could ruin his best friendship and – most definitely – the rest of his entire life. So, it stayed hidden and Virgil pretended like all of his emotions weren’t there. Up until the day he left.

One day, Virgil was waiting in the usual spot when his friend approached him, looking sad. He told Virgil that his family were moving away, and he was going to have to change schools. It felt as though Virgil’s entire world was crashing around him. A week passed and he was gone. Virgil was back to being alone. He thought he’d never see his friend again. Apparently, he was dead wrong.

“I can’t believe it! It’s actually you! I’d recognise your emo ass anywhere, though I didn’t expect you to get better at it!” His old friend laughed heartily, giving Virgil a once over.

Virgil rolled his eyes and leant against the doorframe, arms crossed, “Didn’t expect you to become a meathead like your brothers, but I guess we were both wrong, Roman Prince.” Virgil put extra emphasis on his last name, which caused a grin spread across his face as the man before him almost inflated with indignation.

“How dare you!” Roman pressed a hand to his chest dramatically, “I will have you know I surpassed them greatly with my grades, thank you very much!”

“Like that was hard.”

“Are you undermining my achievements?!”

“A little.”

They continued to argue back and forth for a few more minutes before a quiet voice interrupted them and both of their heads turned to the new participant in the conversation. “Um, are you two fighting? Please don’t fight, at least not on the first day…”

Virgil ducked his head in embarrassment, “Sorry, Pat… Didn’t mean to freak you out…”

“Yes, many apologies. We weren’t arguing. Just old friends teasing each other as you do!”

Patton’s eyes lit up, “Wait! Are you the friend from middle school that V-”

Immediately, the emo was out of the doorway and in front of Patton, his hand clamped over his mouth. “Patton, shut up!” Virgil hissed, his face already beginning to burn in embarrassment.

A chuckle had Virgil’s stomach churning, “So, Virgil has mentioned me, hm? I guess I am unforgettable.”

“Whatever. I’ll be in my room.” Virgil muttered, slinking back into the dark bedroom. He shut the door in Roman’s face, who tried to get one last comment in. He listened carefully to the sounds in the hallway; the short conversation between Roman and Patton, the footsteps descending the stairs as the door across the hall shut and vague noises of Roman unpacking started. Only then did Virgil allow himself to whisper scream as he collapsed onto his sheets. He asked a question in his mind, ‘How the fuck did he get hot?!’

--

Virgil hoped that, over time and with exposure, his sudden surge of attraction to his old friend would dissipate. Perhaps Roman would have weird habits that would turn Virgil off or maybe his personality – having changed over the years – would grind on Virgil’s last nerve until every ounce of attraction fizzled away. Of course, things were not that simple.

Roman was just as energetic and friendly as he had been years prior, easily making friends with not only the other roommates living with them but also many other students, and even the grumpy old lady who lived in the house next door who always complained about the weird phantom noises they were apparently making at 3am when they were all asleep (or at least, lying in bed). He always had time for Virgil though.

By the end of the first week he’d been living in the house, Roman had somehow gained an all-access pass to Virgil’s room at most reasonable times of the day. To the point that the two would just sit and do work before eventually falling into long discussions – or arguments – about nothing in particular. Some days, they’d simply fill each other in on their lives since they parted ways. Roman was extremely invested in Virgil’s life and what became of the other kids from their school, and Virgil could say the same about Roman.

It was during one of these conversations that Roman asked a particularly interesting question. He was laying on his front, head held up by his hands. There was an open notebook to the side of him, though it was all but forgotten at this point.

“I haven’t heard you mention anything about the topic but I’m very interested, so I’ll ask anyway. How many of the girls did you have throwing themselves at you when you got older? I bet that dark and mysterious vibe got them all, didn’t it?” Roman wiggled his eyebrows playfully, grinning slyly as Virgil choked on the drink in his hand.

The emo put the cup down and smacked his chest a couple of times before rasping out a short “What?! No. The fuck?!”

“Oh… Sorry, I just thought with your good looks and the whole… aesthetic you have going on, you’d have the pick of them all.” Roman said sincerely. Virgil’s cheeks darkened at the compliment and Roman’s eyes quickly lit up. He swung around, throwing his legs off the side so he could assess Virgil closer, “Virgil… I don’t mean to pry, and you don’t have to answer me but… were there any… guys?”

The immediate spinning of Virgil’s desk chair told Roman everything. The sly grin creeped back up onto his face as he stood, approaching the chair that now faced away from him. Roman faked a gasp before resting his crossed arms on the back of the chair, “Did I get it right?”

Virgil huffed in annoyance and rolled his eyes. In a single swift movement, he grabbed the rainbow stress toy from his desk (a gift from Patton) and threw it over his shoulder, attempting to hit Roman’s shoulder with it. However, the tug on the back of the chair and the undignified high-pitched yelp followed by stumbling steps had Virgil thinking he’d missed his mark. It didn’t stop him from laughing after he turned in his chair and found Roman pouting at him indignantly.

“Oh, yes. Laugh it up. It’s just so funny that you tried to assault me!” Roman tossed his head with a sniff, a haughty look upon his face.

Virgil managed to control himself a little in order to respond, “You look like such a jock, but you are way too gay for that. And I hope that this answered your dumb question, Princey.” He picked the stress toy off the ground and held it up for Roman to truly get a look at before putting it back on his desk.

Roman perked back up once he saw the toy properly, “Well, thank goodness for that! I don’t think I could have lived knowing someone as pretty as you was straight.” He situated himself back on Virgil’s bed and went back to looking over his notes, while Virgil stewed over what he’d just heard.

The weeks passed and nothing was getting better for Virgil. It had gotten to the point where he couldn’t just bottle it up within himself anymore, he just had to talk to someone. That’s how he found himself laying on his back on Logan’s bed, staring up at the precise constellations that dotted his ceiling.

“If you truly want my opinion, Virgil, it seems there is enough evidence to show that your affecti-”

“Ahhh, don’t call it that!” Virgil threw an arm over his eyes, as if that would help him get away from the truth of his smart friend’s words, “Is there anything else you can say instead?”

“Virgil.”

Logan placed his tablet pen back into its holder, twisted the lid of his laptop back to its regular position and turned to face his bed. His left leg crossed over his right and his arms tightly crossed over his chest, looking at Virgil with his stern steely gaze. The emo lying there almost squirmed away, as he could feel the piercing gaze even without seeing it.

“Ughhhh, I knew you’d be no help!” Virgil slid himself off of the sheets and onto his feet, heading towards the door, “I’m gonna go see if Patton’s in. Maybe he’ll help me more!”

Logan said nothing, simply shrugging – which Virgil caught sight of in the mirror next to the door – before turning back to his work, “If you think he’ll help, then go ahead. Unlike you, I am actually trying to complete my studies, so you’ll know where I will be.”

A light twitch of a smile came to Virgil’s lip as he muttered a thanks under his breath before fake-storming out of Logan’s room, shutting the door behind him. He pulled his phone from his pocket and went to text Patton. His attention was so focused on his phone that he didn’t notice the sound of a new door opening near to him. It was only when he collided with something warm and solid that Virgil realised someone else was in the hallway with him. He quickly lifted his head to apologise, but found his words catching in his throat at the sight.

Roman stood just in front of him, still damp from his shower that he’d clearly just finished. His hair was slicked back with the water, though a few strands had fallen across his forehead from the slight jolt of someone walking into him. Virgil’s eyes couldn’t help but follow the trail of a droplet that had already run its course down Roman’s torso, drinking in every detail of his clearly well-looked after body. He was just muscular enough to have definition, as well as being incredibly broad chested – which really made Virgil realise how much taller Roman had grown as Virgil had clearly made contact with his pecs when they’d bumped into each other. His eyes travelled even further before Virgil could even consider tearing his eyes away from the sight before him. Roman’s body was almost that unbelievable triangle shape that he’d only seen on magazine covers, advertisements and movies. It even had that V-shape that guided Virgil’s gaze to the towel that was hanging low on Roman’s waist, being held up by only one of Roman’s hands.

All of a sudden, Virgil came back to himself. Thankfully, it had only been a few seconds since the impact, and both had been a little startled. Virgil, however, took several steps away, blushing a deep red. He stuttered, attempting to find something to say as he backed up to Logan’s door again. As he fumbled behind him for the door handle, Roman approached slowly, looking concerned. Virgil hadn’t even noticed he’d started to panic.

“Virgil. It’s okay. We’re both okay. Try to breathe…” Roman spoke calmly, holding his hands before him. However, he’d seemingly forgotten that his hand was the one thing keeping the towel from falling to the ground. As he went to reassure Virgil with both hands, Roman could feel the fabric fall from around his waist.

Virgil outright screeched pterodactyl-style and dove into Logan’s room, his face burning. He didn’t see Roman also turn a fantastical shade of red as he saved at least some of his modesty as the door had been slammed shut just as quick. The larger of the two listened at the door for a few seconds. He waited until he heard Logan speaking to Virgil, coaching him through breathing techniques to quell his panic, before heading back to his room to get dressed.

In Logan’s room, Virgil was slowly uncurling from the tight ball he’d managed to get into in his panic as his breathing was starting to return to a somewhat normal level. His eyes were swimming and his head was pounding, but he was able to make out the shape of Logan kneeling beside him.

“Are you feeling better, Virgil? Would you like me to fetch you some water?” Logan asked, analysing Virgil’s body language.

“That… um, please… yes.” Virgil wheezed, stretching out on the ground. He carefully stretched each muscle from the tips of his fingers to his toes as Logan cautiously stepped around him and out of his room. Virgil allowed the sense of embarrassment to wash over him again and his face continued to burn, though his panic was manageable. He could not believe that he’d almost lost it over Roman, of all people. He went to audibly groan whilst slapping his hands across his face, but the sound of Roman’s voice had him stopping mid-movement to listen to every single syllable.

He heard Roman address Logan, clearly both in the hallway nearer the kitchen.

“How is everything?” Roman asked, concerned.

“He is doing relatively well, compared to the state he came to me in, if that’s what you are asking.” Logan’s voice was getting closer. Virgil sat himself up, so he wasn’t caught by Roman lying on the ground.

“That’s good. Um, could you tell him that I’m sorry for whatever happened. I don’t know if it was my fault or what, but I just want to cover my bases, just in case.”

“I’ll be sure to let him know. I think it’s best if you don’t come too close. Seeing you again may cause a slight relapse.” Logan stated as his voice came right up to the door. Virgil was now sat with his back pressed against the bed, trying his hardest to look natural.

“O-oh. Right. Of course. Um, well… I hope everything is okay…” Roman sounded disappointed, but a set of footsteps started to retreat away from the room and up the stairs.

Logan then opened the door and entered, his face as stoic as ever. He handed the glass of water to Virgil before sitting himself back into his desk chair and continuing to work. Eventually, there was a rustle of bedsheets that told Logan that Virgil had gotten off of the floor and sat himself back on Logan’s bed. Virgil was muttering something under his breath.

The chair spun back around before stopping on a dime as Logan sighed, “Virgil, if you are going to say something, please let me hear it. I would like to help you, but I can’t if I don’t know what’s going on.”

Virgil gave his friend a withering look that had no malice behind it as this was just the way they worked, “I said ‘I’m going to fucking die’” Virgil made air-quotes around his words.

Logan smiled wryly, “If you’re going to do that here, could you at least make it quiet? I do have a project to finish.” He waited to see Virgil smirk and stick his tongue out playfully before turning back to his laptop, giving Virgil some space to think.

It was after dinner when Virgil started to make his ascent back up to his room finally. There had been a long conversation with Logan once the emo had his thoughts in a semi-coherent order which had ultimately ended with the conclusion that both sides had a mutual interest and that Virgil should really just go for whatever he wanted. It was just as that final point was made that Patton knocked on Logan’s door in order to call him out for food.

“Oh! Virgil! I was about to call you and Roman down, but since you’re here, come on out!” Patton cheerfully said, grinning from ear to ear. The peppy student practically skipped away to call out to Roman, leaving Logan’s door wide open. Both of the other students emerged, slipping into the kitchen quietly. As food was being served up and they were all eating, Virgil avoided eye contact with Roman, even as his roommate was trying his hardest to catch Virgil’s eye. He was working out the script in his head, as Virgil knew he would never do it if not today.

It was only once he was halfway up the stairs and Roman called his name that Virgil even contemplated looking at his roommate again. When he did, his face flushed pink once again at the memory of what he’d seen. Virgil pushed that all away however, as Roman took the stairs two at a time to catch up to him.

“Are you alright? I wanted to check on you after what happened earlier, but Logan said I probably shouldn’t. Just in case. But I wanna make sure you’re okay.” Roman rattled off as they both headed up to their rooms.

Virgil stopped outside his room, leaning against the closed door. “Yeah, I’m good. Just was a little… surprised, I guess?” He mumbled, looking at a very interesting piece of the carpeted floor.

“Good. Good. I didn’t want to uh… traumatise you or something.” Roman laughed nervously, which got Virgil’s attention. He’d never heard Roman nervous before.

Slowly, Virgil raised his gaze, “Well, um, thanks? I guess? Logan helped me. We talked about a lot…” he trailed off, unsure of himself.

“What did you talk about?”

“Just… what happened and things.”

“Things?”

Virgil was shifting his weight from foot to foot, his nervousness getting the better of him. He was trying to remember the script he came up with in his head, but nothing was coming to him. This wasn’t how this was all supposed to go. He ran his hands through his hair in frustration. The emo growled under his breath before practically shouting, “I fucking like you, okay?!” Immediately, Virgil clapped his hand over his mouth and his eyes widened in shock at his own outburst.

The silence rang out between the two students. Virgil was unwilling to move and Roman was almost moving in slow motion. He tentatively reached out, loosely grasping Virgil’s wrist in order to pry his hand away from his mouth. It only took a step to close the distance between them, “I like you too, Virgil. Took you long enough to notice.”

Virgil was shocked this was working out the way it was. He was barely aware of what happened before Roman’s lips were brushing against his own, silently asking a question that required an answer. Instead of words, Virgil simply threw himself onto Roman, crushing their mouths together.

Immediately, his back was pushed up against his closed door once more as Roman took charge of the situation. The larger let go of Virgil’s waist in order to grab the door handle and push it open, leading Virgil inside. As the emo let his bedroom door swing shut, he watched Roman tug his shirt over his head and tossed it aside before taking one large step to close the distance between them once again. The lock on the door hit home immediately.

--

My other stuff: http://nekoabi.tumblr.com/myworks Mobile Accessible Masterlist: http://nekoabi.tumblr.com/post/181954641376/fic-masterlist

General Tag List: @not-so-innocent-bi-sander​​ @didsomeonesayprince​​ @llamaly​​ @justanotherpurplebutterfly​​  @iaminmultiplefandoms​​ @ultimate-queen-of-fandoms2​​ @lowkeyvirgilobsessed​​ @louisthewarlock​​ @fangsandrainbows​​ @xxladystarlightxx​​ @sleepyssnail​​ @ao-koshka​​ @notalwaysthevillian​​ @pumpkinminette​​ @doces-e--tuga​​ @coloursintheblur​​ @safesandersides​​ @hogwarts-my-love​

#Sanders Sides #Fanfiction #Prinxiety #Virgil Sanders #Roman Sanders #Patton Sanders #Logan Sanders #Anxiety Sanders #Creativity Sanders #Morality Sanders #Logic Sanders #Oh my god they were roommates #Human AU #College AU

[allthefallendemons]

It’s Harder Than It Looks

Part 1

Content Warning: Cussing, Mean words(Dan is an asshole), Angst, Violence. FLUFF!!

a/n: this is my first kinda soft ending!! I hope you enjoy :)))

Word Count: 1.9k

To say that yesterday was a shit show was playing it simple. After storming off the crime scene in tears, you happened to receive a call from your captain hours later. Managing to convince the captain to keep you away from suspension, he decided that you were going to be assigned a case with Dan Espinoza. It wasn't going to be unbearable, considering you didn't have to be near Lucifer any longer. He was most likely going to try and get along with Chloe, they didn't talk much since Lucifer switched to be your partner after his and Chloe's first case. After finishing up your makeup, you let out a soft sigh, running your hands through your messy hair. "This will be fine," you murmured softly, grabbing the rest of your things and walking out the door.

"Dan! My new partner!" you cheered, hopping happily down the stairs of the precinct, more than grateful to be away from Lucifer, even if it is just for a moment. "Hey, Y/N." Dan glanced up from his paperwork, swivelling his chair to face you. He looked you up and down, nodding to himself "sticking with the new aesthetic?" Dan murmured, leaning back into his chair. You let out a quiet laugh, taking a seat on top of his desk. "Well, it's not like it's some sort of revenge look, I've changed, for good," you explain to your new partner as he shifts closer to you. He places a hand on top of your thigh, waiting a couple to see your next movements. A feeling of surprise slipped through you before you decided to welcome it, it's never too early to get back into the dating game. 'How many girls have lucifer been with since you broke up?' your internal conscience purred as you placed a gentle hand on top of Dan's squeezing it softly. "It's good that you changed, Lucifer made you weak. He was a distraction, you're a great detective without him." Dan murmured, looking you in the eyes as a soft blush crossed your features. Maybe this was good?

Lucifer entered the precinct, holding a bouquet of His Detective's favourite rose shaped chocolates, deeply invested in the thought of getting his girl back. Sauntering down the stairs, a brilliant speech prepared, Lucifer locked eyes with Detective Douche. Dan smirked, reaching up and cupping your face, gently guiding his thumb across your features. Lucifer could feel anger begin to boil within him as he handed the chocolates off to a nearby cop. "Say, Y/N, how about I treat you to a date later on tonight?" Daniel looked into your eyes, as you let out a quiet giggle "I'd love to, Daniel," you smiled at him as Lucifer listened nearby, expecting you to turn him down. "Come by my place at around 8 with some take out, we could watch some Netflix and hang out!" you cheered, a temporarily happy feeling flooding your chest, not realizing this plan of Daniel's wasn't to make you happy. It was to get back at Lucifer, to teach him that the Devil isn't the only one with tricks up his sleeve.

"Netflix was our thing..." Lucifer murmured to himself, watching as you continued to flirt and get touchy with Daniel. This was all a show, there was no bloody way you could become lovers with his archnemesis! Especially after the number of cruel things Daniel has done to you himself! Stealing cases, talking bad about you to other coworkers, Daniel was the one that spread the rumour that you "Have two cats because you could never maintain a stable enough relationship" which was very untrue. He watched the two of you walking away, jumping in surprise as a hand was placed on his shoulder. "I'm losing her, Decker" Lucifer murmured, looking over at his previous partner. "You have to try and get her back, Lucifer. She's obviously the one you love," Chloe shook her head, taking a sip from her coffee as Lucifer nodded to himself. "I know exactly how I'm going to do that," he smirked to himself as Chloe began to shake her head. "No, no, no. Whatever you have planned right now, Lucifer, that's a bad idea. Especially if you're thinking on crashing their date." Chloe inhaled the scent of coffee, showing Lucifer a side look which he clearly didn't pick up on. "You're a genius, Decker! I didn't even consider that! I'm going to crash their date!" He cried, hopping down to the bottom of the stairs. He began to sprint off to who knows where as Chloe rolled her eyes. "Dan is about to get his ass kicked," she grinned to herself, letting out a quiet laugh as she knowingly pushed Lucifer in the right direction.

You decided to get yourself comfortable in something you used to wear before your breakup with Lucifer. Figuring that Dan wouldn't mind if you made yourself comfortable, you slipped on one of your old sweaters alongside a pair of black jeans. 'UCLA' was sprawled across the custom acid-washed sweater, you prepped a small bowl of popcorn. After knowing Dan for years, you always figured there was a soft side to him. A loud knock on the door echoed through the house as you called out "I'm coming!" to your new guest. You looked yourself the mirror, a natural face looked back. You were once back in your own, comfortable state, deciding to trust Dan with this new and fragile place. Opening the door, you tilted your head and smiled at the detective. His eyes went wide as he looked at you, not expecting to see.. well... you. "Heyyy... Y/N! What- What is this?" Dan cocked an eyebrow, letting himself into your house. "Well, I figured we could kinda sit back and relax? I mean, we were working our asses off all day with that case," you explained, your shoulders slouching as he looked back at you. "Oh."

Silence filled the room as he looked at you, his mouth twinging a bit "Y'know if you're going to date me, wearing makeup is pretty much a must." He spoke up, putting the take-out on the counter. Your eyes widened in surprise as he said that, especially since it came from someone like Dan. "What?" you breathed out in confusion, as he began to take his food out. "Yeah, well, it's not like you're jaw-droppingly gorgeous without your makeup on. Hell, that's why most of our coworkers thought you were stuck up, y'know, the lack of makeup and all." at this point, you could feel the anger building up in your chest. Lucifer would never treat you this way, he wouldn't even comment on the idea of you wearing makeup. "Oh, and don't even get me started on the clothes. If that leather jacket is the only sexy thing that you've got, then it's time to go shopping." at this point, you were ready to knock Daniel the fuck out. You approached him, walking around him to grab your own food. "You could do with some changes too, Daniel," you grabbed your food, feeling your knuckles turning white from rage. Opening the lid, you turned and smashed him across the face with the steaming hot food he bought you.

A quiet whistle was silenced by the crash of the plastic container hitting Dan's face, Lucifer stayed hidden in the background, watching the exchange happen between you and Dan. "What the fuck!" Dan shouted, pushing you back and into the counter. Unfortunately for you, you tripped over your footing, crashing into a nearby countertop and hitting your temple. You supported yourself, getting ready to defend your weakened state as Dan raised his fist in the air. Watching as he began to swing at you, you closed your eyes, protecting your already wounded head. Until the impact never came, squinting an eye open, Lucifer stood in front of you, clenching Dan's fist in his hand. He began to squeeze, his eyes slowly fading into their killer red. You raised your hand, gently taking his free hand into your own, "Luce, let him go..." you murmured softly and he did just as you asked. Dan immediately fleeing as he let go, Lucifer turned his attention completely towards you.

"Is everything okay, darling? Does your head hurt? I swear to Dad, I will punish him." Lucifer's eyes flickered red as he cupped your face, looking at the blood that was dribbling down the side of your head. "I kept on telling you to get table corner guards, you're clumsy enough as it is." He wiped away the blood, his concern taking over any other emotion he had before. He opened a nearby cabinet, having memorized where you keep your first aid kit. There had been far too many injuries surrounding you for him to not know. He began to tend to your wound, a quiet hiss escaping your lips as he cleaned it out "I'm sorry, Lucifer." your voice broke the silence as you looked him in the eyes. He shared a confused look with you, tilting his head as he looked at you. "What do you possibly have to be sorry for? I'm the reason you went out with detective douche in the first place," he placed a small bandaid on the side of your head. He cupped your face, planting a gentle kiss on your forehead, "You have nothing to be sorry for, Y/N" He looked you in the eyes, taking a deep breath.

"I... I love you, Y/N," he confessed, shaking his head as he let out a quiet laugh. Your eyes widened in shock, this was the first time he confessed to something like this. He was even the one to say it first! "I love you too, Lucifer." You couldn't resist the urge anymore as you smashed your lips on top of Lucifer's.

He quickly reciprocated, his hands shifting to your waist as he lifted you into the air, holding you as close as possible to him. He sat you down on the counter as you ran your hands through his hair, your eyes fluttering shut as he kissed you. The longing, the need for one another gifted a passionate drive between yourselves. Your movements were synchronized, your connection growing stronger as he showed you his love. His hands roamed freely across your body as you gently played with his hair, making him aware that you weren't ready to do it. So he enjoyed the moment as it lasted, taking in every second as if it was his last. A small feeling voice inside him told him to enjoy it, that you would no longer want to be with him. But that wasn't true as you curled the small section behind his head around your finger, something you always did to make him feel safe in your presence.

He knew it was time to pull away since he memorized that this was when you needed to start breathing. "I missed you," you murmured, collapsing your head onto his shoulder as he held you close to him. "I'm sorry for hurting you, Y/N, please don't feel like you have to change for me," he gently kissed the side of your head, picking you up and into his arms. "Changing is a lot harder than it looks," you chuckle out quietly as he brought you over to the couch. He sat down, keeping you close in his arms as you guided him to lay down. "Let's stay here for a while, Luci." You murmured quietly, resting your head onto his chest. "Trust me, I am not going anywhere." He murmured, looking down at you with a small smile on his features. He got His girl back.

#lucifer netflix #lucifer fox #lucifer morningstar #lucifer morningstar x reader #lucifer fanfiction #dan espinoza #daniel espinoza #chloe decker #lucifer one shot #lucifer imagine

[thorne93]

History Repeats (Part 11)

Prompt: Life’s hard, right? Well throw in a not so great job, a broken heart, and chasing a pipe dream in LA. But could someone come along to make all the bad shit disappear? Or is he just another heartbreak waiting around the bend?

Warnings: language, drug addiction, alcohol addiction, angst/heartbreak, adult themes (??)

Word Count: 1818

Note: Aesthetic made by @mrs-dragneel-stark-solo because she’s absolutely amazing Beta’d by @like-a-bag-of-potatoes and @mrs-dragneel-stark-solo . Brainstorming from @carryonmyswansong​

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Hayden,” you said jovially as he covered your eyes, “where are we going?” you demanded playfully.

“Just a few more steps, please,” he requested, just behind you. 

A week had passed since Hayden had asked you out, trying to find a day that your schedules lined up. Now he’d had you blindfolded since you left the house, and when you got out of the car, he had you walking, covering your eyes with his hands now.

You thought you could hear water, you could hear people chatting, you could hear birds, you could hear...something hitting something, like wood on wood. 

You had no idea where you were. Your best guess was a pier. Maybe he was taking you fishing. 

“Okay, open,” Hayden quietly said and you slowly opened your eyes, the sunlight stinging at first as you looked around. You were at some sort of dock, with several gondolas.

“What is this?” you asked, looking at your surroundings with question. 

“Come on,” he said with a shy smile as he gestured for you to follow him, holding out his hand. “It’s a gondola ride,” he informed. “I thought instead of the typical dinner date, since we eat dinner all the time together, this might be a little more...fun.”

“I’ve never been on a boat before,” you softly murmured.

“Don’t worry, it’ll be fine,” he noted. “I’ll be there, not that that’s much comfort,” he teased. 

You scrunched your nose at him as he pulled you along to the rental booth, stating he had a reservation. After confirming all the details, they got your boat setup, a gondolier joining you. 

“After this, I thought we could grab lunch at a really small out of the way place I have in mind, if that’s okay with you?” he asked, seeming a little nervous.

Grinning at him, you nodded. “Of course, whatever you want.”

The two of you drifted for a little bit before the inevitable conversation started. You had started with talking about a couple of things you’d seen in the news, giving your opinion on it. Hayden agreed mostly with your views, offering questions or comments here and there. After a while, the conversation had steered from new to embarrassing moments that you’d had. You had recounted a time of being hotel manager that you’d walked in on a couple in a rather...explicit scene. 

“Oh my God,” Hayden said while laughing heartily. “You didn’t. Didn’t you knock?”

“I did! I thought I heard them say ‘Come in’ but I was mistaken. They had said, ‘Come on’...” you said, your cheeks blazing as you covered your face with your hands, laughing from the tale. 

“Not sure if that’s as bad as me walking in on Natalie during dress change for Star Wars,” he commented.

Your face went into shock as your mouth formed an O. “Oh no. Oh god. How did that happen?! You’re not serious. You’re messing with me,” you accused. 

He shook his head as he bit his bottom lip, chuckling. “Nope, not joking. It was, uh, it was...we were getting changed for one of the scenes. I thought I’d stop by to ask her her opinion on one of our next scenes. Her door was cracked open so I thought it was okay -- because she typically cracked the door when she was reading lines. I walked in and she was only halfway dressed.”

“Oh no!” you said, laughing. “Was she mad?”

Hayden shook his head. “No. She actually thought it was funny. I didn’t see anything but her back, but it still made it awkward for me for a while. She said that she thought she’d shut her door. The two of us eventually had a good laugh about it, but I thought I was a deadman when i opened that door.”

“Oh, aw,” you cooed sympathetically with a laugh. 

The two of you continued your sweet, blissful ride, swapping humiliating stories, reminiscing about hilarious childhood memories. The ride was so fun and light, the two of you laughing as you continued talking, learning about one another, and for you, falling more in love with him. Hayden truly was so sweet, level headed, down to earth, and yet, he had so many reasons that he could be totally full of himself. 

A few times, he asked you to elaborate or explain more about yourself, seemingly enthralled in your boring, mediocre life. The ride came to an end after a while, the two of you thanking your gondolier as you climbed out. He drove you over to a quaint cafe that was actually situated back in an alley. You had to go between two buildings, past a gorgeous courtyard, and then into the actual cafe. The two of you ordered and went back out to the courtyard and sat in the shade, continuing your conversation, learning all about each other.

The two of you touched a little on your personal lives. He told you about his parents, his sisters, diving into their relationship, and you loved and admired how highly he spoke of them. He was proud and impressed by all their accomplishments and it was wonderful to see that in a man. A huge turn off for you was someone who didn’t like their family. You offered up some about yourself as well, going into your childhood, your home life. 

At first, you weren’t sure that dating would be different from being friends, but quickly, you realized it was. Questions went from “What do you want for dinner?” to “What was your favorite meal growing up?” It felt backwards, to live together, to get used to each other domestically, and then start dating and learning about each other. But in one way, it got the worst part of the relationship out of the way. You weren’t learning about him in his everyday life, the two of you were trying to learn about each other, treading the waters to see if you had chemistry, anything to bond you two. 

Sure, as friends, as roommates, it was a pretty good time, but you’d seen before where friendships work, but the romance didn’t. In this case, you were praying that wasn’t true. And thus far, it proved not to be a problem. The two of you not finding anything you would consider a red flag or a deal breaker.

All too soon, the date was over and the two of you went back home to go back to living life as you had. You had some errands to run, as did Hayden, in different areas all over the city so you went your separate ways, the entire time mulling over the date, feeling giddy, excited and hopeful for the whole thing.

----------------------------------

A few days after your date, you were working your normal shift. Getting lost in paperwork, you were standing at the check in counter, the lobby completely empty, and you began to sing without thinking. Seeing as it was rather late, and you didn’t expect anyone to come around, you were humming a few bars of your own song when a man approached the counter, but you didn’t hear him. 

Not paying much attention, you continued singing when the man finally cleared his throat.

“Excuse me,” he softly said, making you jump.

You looked up and apologized, seeing a heavy set, middle-aged man leaning with one arm on the counter. 

“Oh, sir, I’m so sorry,” you apologized quickly, getting red-faced. 

“Not a problem. You have a good set of pipes on you,” he said, and you thanked him. “Typically, I don’t do this, but your voice...I’d like to work with you.” He pulled out his wallet and handed you a business card. “I’m Trey Corzon.”

“Trey Corzon?” you asked, fangirling and starstruck. Trey was one of the biggest names in music right now. The hottest names were popping up, and his name was all over them as the producer. 

“I’m a music producer. I was wondering if you’d like to give me a call sometime? Maybe we can work out some time in a booth. If you’d like,” he offered.

“I would love to,” you nearly shrieked.

“Do you have any demos?”

“Uh, yes, actually! I’ve got one with four tracks. Give me just a second and I’ll go get them,” you said just before you ran off to your office, grabbed the demo you kept on hand and raced back to him. “They’re a little rough, but I really think in the right hands, it could be something pretty special.” 

He took it from you and smiled. “Thanks. I’ll give it a listen. What’s your name?”

“I’m Y/F/N,” you said slowly, to make sure he heard all of it and remembered it as he shook your hand. “It’s an honor to meet you.” 

“Likewise, I’m sure,” he kindly said. “Well, hey, I gotta get running. Need to meet one of my artists at a release party. I’m gonna give this a listen in the next few days. Give me a ring, and we’ll set up something.”

“I will,” you promised, about to burst. 

“Thanks, have a good night.” 

The two of you waved as you waited until he was fully gone to do a small happy dance. You pulled out your phone and texted Hayden, telling him you had some great news.

--------------

Your shift finally ended and you nearly raced out of the hotel, throwing yourself into your car to speed home. As soon as you got in, Hayden’s face lit up.

“So what’s this great news?” he asked as he got up from the couch.

“I got discovered!” you nearly shouted, excitement in your face, voice, and body as you nearly jumped with glee. 

“You did? That’s fantastic!” he said as he ran over to you, sweeping you into his arms and spinning you around. When he sat you down, he cupped your face, as if it were the most natural thing in the world, and brought his lips to yours, fervently. A congratulatory kiss. 

The kiss was swift, sweet, and punctuated with heat. When he let you go, you were breathless.

“Wow. I should get discovered more often,” you noted with bliss, your eyes still closed as he still cupped your face. He kissed your forehead and offered you to sit on the couch while he reheated leftovers for you. You told him all about it, how big of a deal it was, how excited you were. 

He seemed genuinely thrilled for you, unlike Jason, who constantly told you it was a pipe dream. The two of you talked for a little while longer, you getting entirely giddy about the idea of being a singer. Eventually, the two of you needed to go to bed though, so you bid each other a goodnight and parted ways, but for the first time in a while, you felt good about the future.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Forever Tag:

@essie1876​

@magpiegirl80​

@letsgetfuckingsuperwholocked​

@marvel-imagines-yes-please​

@missinstantgratification​

@thejemersoninferno​

@rda1989​

@munlis​

@thefridgeismybestie​

@bubblyanarocks3​

@igiveupicantthinkofausername​

@kaliforniacoastalteens​

@feelmyroarrrr​

@kaeling​

@friendlyneighbourhoodweirdo​

@damalseer​

@heyitscam99​

@yknott81​

@sorryimacrapwriter​

@glitterquadricorn​

@bittersweetunicorm​

@alyssaj23​

@sea040561​

@princess76179​

@thisismysecrethappyplace​

@sarahp879​

@malfoysqueen14​

@ellallheart​

@breezy1415​

@marvelmayo​

@lyniboy​

@paintballkid711​

@pandacookieowo​

@beiroviski​

Hayden Christensen:

@coldlilheart​

@haydens-moles​

History Repeats:

@multifandomblog315​

#history repeats #hayden christensen x reader #hayden christensen fic #hayden christensen

[pink-imagines]

spice it up

request: Ok this is something that’s been on my mind for a couple of days now, and it’s SUPER CHEESY but plz bear with me haha. I’ve been watching a lot of ANTM and it inspired me to think about an au where Bakugo is a pro-hero and Y/N is a upcoming top model visiting Japan to walk and display a new line of lingerie based off of Pro-Hero’s costumes (kinda like for a Victoria’s Secret fashion show) She’s chosen to wear the Ground Zero lingerie and she gets permission to shadow Bakugo for a day or two to get a read on his personality so she can base her walk off of him. Thing is, off the catwalk, Y/N’s personality is free-spirited, laidback and even a little shy, so when Bakugo meets her he’s like “why the fuck would they choose an extra like her to be me?” but little does he know on the catwalk her personality does a complete 180 and is outrageously fierce and confident. Pro-hero’s got a free invitation to the fashion show so with some convincing from his friends (and maybe because he was curious to see how the hell she was going to pull this off) he goes to the show and his reaction to when she steps on the catwalk… Lol I want to leave it up to you. Wow that was wayyy longer then I expected it to be. I’m sorry to spam you like that 😂 I feel like ppl are either going to love or hate this idea so if you don’t want to write it I honestly don’t blame you haha. Either way I love your posts! You’re writing style is very fun to read!

a/n: hellooo! hope you’re doing well! sorry for the late update, but i hope that this is an alright imagine!

warnings: description of lingerie(??)

masterlist

You were exhausted. The airport had always been a stressful place, but now you were jetlagged aswell. Flying to Japan wasn’t an easy task, but it was worth it. You carefully pushed the sunglasses you were wearing up the bridge of your nose. It was a weak disguise, but you really couldn’t care less.

“The car’s waiting outside. Let’s hurry up.”, your manager spoke fast. You grabbed your bag and followed after her. The paparazzi were flooding the exit, luckily they had put up fences. This was one of the reasons you had to look atleast a little bit dressed up on airports. Which was the most uncomfortable thing ever, but you just had to live with it. By “dressed up” they usually just meant “don’t wear sweatpants”. So you could still wear your comfy pair of jeans and a nice sweater or something of the sort.

“How do you feel after travelling so much? From New York, to London, to Paris and now here in Tokyo. How do you cope?” The same questions were popping up everywhere, but you didn’t stop for any of them. The only time you did stop was when you saw a few fans getting strangled against the fence. You hurried towards them, got their things signed and made sure they got back to safety.

“Let’s go, Y/N.”, your manager warned.

“Coming!”, you sighed and kept walking.

The next day you were driven to the place where you’d be messured for the lingerie.

“Y/N? Over here, honey!”, the designer said. He got you into a chair as soon as you arrived.

“What do you have for me today, Ray?”, you smiled kindly.

“So, heroes are a big thing. So we’ve made a line of hero-inspired lingerie, we think it’ll be a hit.”, he said with a big grin and showed you the sketches, “We’ll get them ready as soon as possible, but we need to match the right hero to the right model.”

“Alright, I trust your judgement.”, you looked through the sketches, “Give it to me, Ray.”

“Okay, okay. Since you’re the most charesmatic of the girls, we want you take care of the hothead.”, he pointed at one of the sketches, “Ground Zero.” You looked at the sketch. The top was some sort of dulled down orange color, in a lacy material. That wasn’t that bad, it was the usual, but there was a leather harness on top of it... a leather harness that connected to a leather choker. The bottoms were high-waisted and in the same lace material but black. But that wasn’t it. There was a pair of leather, knee-high, boots along with it.

“It’s... extreme.”, you sighed, “But, sure... I’ll do it.”

“Oh, thank you, Y/N. You’re a life saver, no model in Japan wanted to take the roll.”, he chuckled, “Here I’ll show you what we thought we should do for the face.” He showed you a face with cat-eye eyeliner, a simple nude lip and some sort of explosion looking thing behind the ears. You guessed that was a part of Ground Zero’s hero costume.

“Looks great, Ray.”, you smiled.

“Go get yourself meassured, your manager is booking you a meeting with Ground Zero so that you can study his personality.”, he said calmly and started to walk away.

How had you gotten yourself in this mess? To be honest, you didn’t know anymore. Everything happened so fast and now suddenly you were in the lobby of a hero agency, waiting for Ground Zero to go on his lunch break.

“Y/N Y/L/N?”, a rough voice asked behind you. You turned around to see a pair of crimson eyes staring into your soul. His hair was messy and he was just wearing jeans, a hoodie and a leather jacket. You didn’t know why you thought he’d show up in his hero costume.

“I’m guessing you’re Ground Zero?”, you stretched out your hand.

“You can say Bakugo.”, he scoffed and ignored your stretched out hand. He instead put his hands in his pockets.

“Are you ready to go?”, you asked.

“Why else would I be here?”, he sighed and walked to the exit. This was gonna be an exhausting week.

Bakugo walked as if he had just proven a point, or like he had just won an argument. To say the least, there was only pure confidence flooding in his veins. You hated it, but you simply had to see this as a job. You weren’t in your body, you were only watching from the audience.

“Are you just gonna sit there looking at me? You’re not gonna talk?”, he quirked an eyebrow at you.

“Fine then... um... what kind of music do you listen to?”, you asked innocently.

“Music?”, he bursted out into laughter, “That’s it? You really are just another extra!”

“Listen, man, you’re the one who wanted to talk. So talk.”, you kept your calm, you didn’t want to make a scene out in public.

“Eh- this place sucks, let’s go to my apartment. We can talk there.”, he shrugged and walked faster.

“Your apartment?”, you squeaked.

You were just supposed to follow him around for a while every day, but now you were in his apartment. This was only the first day! His apartment was nice though... it kind of had an oldschool aesthetic to it. Like he came straight out of a private school in England during the 1980′s.

“You asked what kind of music I’m into or something?”, he sighed and walked over to a record player after taking off his shoes and hanging up his jacket. You stopped for a second. Didn’t he just make fun of you for asking that? You watched as he flipped through a few records.

“Yeah, I did.”, you answered cautiosly and hung up your coat next to his jacket.

He effortlessly handled one of the vinyls and quickly put it on the record player... it started playing and-... was that The Beatles? Bakugo sat down on his couch as if it wasn’t extremely shocking for him to listen to this.

“You listen to The Beatles?”, you asked as Paul McCartney started signing the first verse of Yesterday.

“Who doesn’t?”, he sighed, “C’mon, sit down.” You sat down in one of the armchair’s and finished listening to the song.

“You don’t seem like you listen to this kind of music.”, you commented as the next song started playing.

“I don’t only listen to this, idiot.”, he snarked, “This was the first thing I found.”

“Whatever you say.”

A few days went by and you’d go through the same schedule. Wait for Bakugo to go out for his lunchbreak, walk around for a bit, go to his apartment and go home when he had to start his next shift. He started making you lunch, and he was a surprisingly good cook. 

For the last day he stopped you before you parted ways.

“Wait-... can I meet you at your hotel later tonight?”, he actually looked a little bit nervous for once.

“I mean, yeah... but why?”, you gave him an unsure smile.

“I’ll take you out for food, something spicy... unless you can’t handle that.”, he grinned, his confidence was suddenly back.

“You wanna bet?”, your laughed.

“Alright then, it’s a bet.”, he chuckled, “I’ll meet you around 7 in the lobby.”

“For sure. I’ll see you!”, you waved goodbye and so did he.

Just when you were about to sneak out to the lobby your manager walked past.

“Where are you going?”, she asked.

“I was just uh...”

“And why’s Ground Zero in the lobby? He’s starting a commotion! We don’t need that, we need you to rest for the show tomorrow!”, she sighed.

“Please, I just wanted to-”

“No, Y/N. You can’t go out tonight, you have a damn show tomorrow.”

“Well, please just tell Bak- I mean... Ground Zero that I can’t come... and that I’m sorry.”, you pleaded, “Please.”

“Fine...”, she agreed.

The next day you woke up early to go to the fitting, so that you could later that day go to the show. Since they had your measurments, it fit perfectly.

“Hey, Laura!”, you stopped your manager as she passed by your make up station.

“Yeah, what’s up? Need anything?”, she asked.

“No-... I was just wondering if you know if Ground Zero would be here tonight.”, you asked.

“I don’t know, honey.”, she sighed, “He hasn’t said anything about it.”

“Alright, thank you.”

You got a moment alone in your changing room before you were going backstage. There was a harch knock on the door, which prompted you to go over to it and open the door. 

“Is it time to come out n-”, you stopped dead in your tracks when you saw Bakugo in front of you.

“Hey.”, he said quietly.

“Hi.”, you responded, “How did you get back here?”

“It’s not that hard for a hero of my status.”, he grinned and puffed up his chest a bit.

“Okay, okay...”, you chuckled and wrapped the silk robe you had on tighter around you, “Well, I’m happy you made it.”

“Y/N! Showtime!”, you heard your manager shout.

“Coming!”, you answered.

“Good luck... on the show...”, he muttered.

“Thank you! I expect to see you in the crowd.”, you grinned and ran up to the backstage area.

-

Maybe he should’ve tried to see what she was wearing. He really hadn’t thought about it at all...

The show was in alphabetic order, so he’d have to sit there for a bit before she’d come out. He really didn’t care much for the other models and he might’ve fell asleep for a few minutes here and there... but that was the chair’s fault! It was too comfortable, it even had armrests! How could he not fall asleep? Just for a bit... 

“Ground Zero!”, they shouted, making him almost jump out of his seat. Eijiro, who sat beside him, let out a quiet chuckle.

“Shut up, man...”, he whispered before glueing his eyes to the runway. He didn’t even recognize her at first. Y/N was... different... and it wasn’t just the clothing... or more like the lack there of.

Her whole aura was different when she walked she was like a whole new person. She was fierce, confident, simply the embodiment of a goddess of war and destruction.  Katsuki’s eyes were glued to her, every curve and edge, and his mouth was slightly agape in shock. He didn’t even realize that people were taking pictures of him.

After the show Katsuki made his way backstage, where he met up with Y/N who was now wrapped up in her silk robe again.

“What did you think? Did you like it?”, she grinned.

“I-...”, he looked around at the people around him who were all watching, “It was alright.”

“Alright?”, you laughed, “Okay then, you diva, I’m gonna go get changed!” His gaze followed her form as she walked away from him to her changing room... until he noticed that people were staring at him.

“Oi! What are you looking at!?”

-

The next day you were already at the airport early in the morning, which was way to early since the plane didn’t leave for another hour. So you decided to look at the articles about last night.

You scrolled quickly through most of them until you saw a picture of a familiar face. It was Bakugo! Looking absolutely star struck as your figure strutted down the runway. A smile spread across your lips and you took a screenshot of the photo.

“Hey, do we have Ground Zero’s buisness email or something like that?”, you asked your manager.

“I can get it for you. Why do you need it?”, she quirked an eyebrow at you.

“Oh, I just wanted to thank him.”, you smiled sweetly, “Also, do you know the next time I’ll be working in Japan?”

“In a few months or so.”

“Perfect.” You couldn’t wait.

-

permanent taglist: @theoceanphoenixhasrisen | @raven-r0ses | @darkbeautyswife | @sondering-thoughts | @gowoneandonlyone | @bnhabadass | @queenblackcat | @jayetheanimefreek101 | @witchy-anna 

tagged for this fic: @bnha-violetnote​ | @succulent-momma​

#katsuki #bakugou katsuki #Katsuki Bakugō #katsuki x reader #bakugo #bnha bakugou #bakugo x reader #Ground Zero #bnha #bnha fanfiction #bnha x reader #mha #mha imagines #mha x reader #boku no hero fanfic #boku no hero imagines #boku no hero headcanons #boku no hero x reader #my hero academia #my hero academy fanfiction

[goldencuffs]

fake dating au part two

Whenever Laurent was overwhelmed, or feeling the kind of loneliness even a good cock couldn’t cure, he would sneak off into the library in the north wing of the Palace, where most of his mother’s official portraits were displayed.

Laurent loved all of them; Hennike was smiling in every single one, blonde hair curled perfectly, and teeth a stunning white. The colouring of her gowns and crowns were so bright, even painted, they seemed to shine in the dullest light. Laurent didn’t really know her; she had died three days after giving birth to him, but he had watched so many interviews and home videos of her, he felt like he had. She had been beautiful, well spoken, and everyone had been shocked when she had fallen for Al, because she had been betrothed to someone else.

Laurent liked coming down here to talk to her. It helped to have her listen to his dramatic tirades. He had started doing it when he was thirteen, when Auguste had enlisted in military training and left him alone, but had stopped a few months later, when Al caught him, his face ashen as he’d watched his youngest son babble to his dead wife.

After that, Laurent made sure to only come down in the dead of night, when he was absolutely desperate.

Which was clearly now; Laurent’s head had been spinning since the dinner at Heston’s. Even dessert hadn’t cheered him up — Heston, the absolute cretin, had served only four options of dessert and not a single one had chocolate in them. Not even one! It was like people intentionally went out of their way to put Laurent in a foul mood. Laurent had already drafted a wordy letter about Heston’s appalling lack of class and hosting abilities on the way home, and he was going to send it to the local tabloid first thing in the morning.

Laurent paced around the library, addressing his favourite portrait of his mother. It was her wedding portrait, and he loved all the detailing in it. The blush pink flowers in her bouquet matched her lipstick and her blush, and the tiara she was wearing had 588 diamonds in it. It was called The Laurent Tiara, and when Laurent had found out it had been Hennike’s favourite crown, he’d cried into his pillowcase for an embarrassingly long time.

“If I tell Al the truth now, he’ll kill me,” Laurent wailed at an appropriately low volume; he was very considerate of the sleeping guards when he threw his tantrums. “Or worse — get me married! Oh god, he’ll set me up with that idiot Torveld and I’ll have to spend the rest of my life hearing about his coin collection. Who even uses cash anymore? And what exactly is the point of having money if you can’t use it? And has Al even considered the aesthetics of our coupling? How are we supposed to wear matching outfits if Torveld looks rubbish in Egyptian blue and azure? Hello! Those are my signature colours!” Laurent sunk down on the lumpy sofa and buried his head in his hands. “Maybe death really is the better option.” He looked up at Hennike’s green eyes. “Is heaven overrated? Where would you personally place it on a scale of one to ten?”

She didn’t answer him, obviously. It was no use, anyway; Laurent was definitely not getting into heaven.

*

Laurent woke up irritated and unrested, and not for his usual, fun reasons. He hadn’t come up with any sort of solution to his dilemma and he had had a very strange dream where Damianos punched him while Al watched on. Then the scene had changed, and Laurent was on stage accepting his tenth Oscar for Best Actor, even though he had yet to star in any films.

“I’m thinking of becoming an actor,” Laurent told Al later that night during dinner.

Al’s eyes narrowed and his mouth became a sharp line. “What?”

“I mean, I have the looks, obviously. And really, how hard is acting anyway? Clearly you don’t even need to be very good at it to star in a movie — look at Channing Tatum. I’m sorry, but it’s very obvious his height was the only thing that got him into Hollywood, and even then it’s not that impressive.”

Al put down his knife and fork. “Can we —” He sounded very strained, “have a normal conversation for once.”

Laurent considered this. “I don’t think we’ve had enough conversations to statistically find out what constitutes a normal one,” he said. Al went red, so he continued, “So you don’t think acting is for me? Shall I try directing then? Or maybe —” He sat up excitedly in his chair. “I could write movies! I have so many ideas! Why, for instance, has no one considered a gay version of The Princess Bride? What would that even be called? The Prince Groom? Ugh, no, that’s terrible. Oh, who am I kidding — with my face and my body I have no choice but to be on camera. Otherwise, it’d be such a waste.”

The vein in Al’s forehead was throbbing. If he had been wearing his crown, it would have gone unnoticed, but like this, it was rather unflattering.

Al said, “Laurent,” in a sombre tone. “I really hope you’re joking.”

“About The Prince Groom? Kind of. But the acting thing — would it really be that bad?”

“You are a prince,” Al said, teeth clenched. “If it is the glam and glitz you want, you have more than enough here.”

Laurent, uncomfortably, thought of his room, the only place in the Palace that was truly his, devoid completely of personal artefacts. He swallowed. “Yes, well.” He tried a smile. “Maybe I should borrow another crown from the royal archives. I don’t think I’ve worn one with emeralds yet.”

Al resumed eating. “Speaking of crowns,” he said, completely glossing over Laurent’s last statement. “I’d like you to wear the Crown of Naos when King Damianos arrives.”

Laurent’s mouth dropped open. “As if! Al, the gold colouring on that completely washes me out! Not to mention the fact that that thing weighs like, five kilograms!”

Al’s nostrils flared at the word Al. He said, “The crown is a gift from Damianos’ great great grandfather to yours. It will be an appropriate and symbolic gesture if you wear it.”

“But why can’t you wear it? Or Auguste?”

“I am not the one having an affair with the King of Akielos,” said Al.

Oh, right. Laurent had forgotten about that. But what was the point? It wasn’t as though Damianos would recognise the gesture. If anything, he might think of it as inappropriate.

Instead he said, “Well, gee, Al, I didn’t peg you as a romantic.” Laurent fluttered his lashes a little.

Al pushed away his plate. “I’m done, thank you.” A servant immediately came to clear away his food.

Al left the dining hall, his shoulders tight. Laurent wished Auguste would hurry back home already.

*

In the morning, on the way back from the stables, Jord said, “Looks like your wish came true.”

Laurent stopped dead. “Oh my god — is Pierre-Alexis Dumas here? Is he finally going to collab with me?”

“Who’s Pierre-Alexis Dumas?” said Jord.

Laurent whirled on him. “Watch your fucking mouth.”

“Sorry.” Jord said, not sounding the slightest bit sorry. The audacity! “But look.” He pointed past Laurent, to the front of the Palace.

Laurent looked. There was a nondescript black limousine parked on the long, gravel pathway. Laurent would have dismissed it, if he didn’t spot sight of Jeurre, Auguste’s chauffeur, leant up against one of the doors, smoking.

Laurent gasped. He passed on his bridle to Jord, who fumbled to catch it, and ran inside.

Auguste and Al were in the plate room. Al was sitting on the large, velvet throne, a glass of whiskey in his hand. It wasn’t even noon! And he was baring his teeth in that weird way — smiling, as he called it.

Auguste was standing in front of him, hands behind his back. He had gotten very tan, and his hair was much darker, a strange golden colour that made the blue-green of his eyes more appealing.

They both turned when Laurent entered. Al’s mouth was already drooping at the sight of him, but Laurent only had eyes for his brother, whom he hadn’t seen in eight whole months.

Laurent wanted to hug him, which surprised even himself. Laurent was not a hugger. He wasn’t much of a toucher, either, unless it involved getting laid.

Auguste gave him a nod. He sometimes acted so much like Al, it disgusted Laurent; the only difference was that Auguste’s eyes were always kind.

Laurent peered at him closely, shocked. “What have you done to yourself? Are you having a mid-life crisis? Should we call Paschal for a yearly psych evaluation?”

Auguste laughed. “It’s a moustache, Laurent. It’s very fashionable in Kempt, you know.”

“It’s horrendous!” Laurent cried. He stared at the thick hair above Auguste’s top lip in horror. “Right. I’m officially ruling Kempt out as a holiday destination this summer if all the men are growing that.”

Al’s eyebrows furrowed. “I like it. It’s very refined.”

“Oh god, now we have to get rid of it,” said Laurent, which made Al frown and Auguste laugh. Auguste squeezed Laurent’s shoulder. He was always mindful of Laurent’s boundaries. “I think you’ve grown taller.”

“I haven’t,” Laurent said. He showed off his riding boots. “See? It’s three inches of heel.”

“Very impractical,” Al said under his breath, which was not a very Kingly thing to do.

Auguste was still smiling. “I like it. It matches the piping of your coat.”

“Yes, exactly!” Laurent was so happy in that moment, he leant forward and hugged Auguste. It was very short, but Auguste looked so pleased afterwards, Laurent wished he had prolonged it.

“Did you get me anything?” he asked, to cover the embarrassment following his sudden burst of affection.

Auguste raised an eyebrow. “I’m hurt, Laurent. You’re not going to ask me about my classes or my rather excellent Anthropology professor?”

Laurent scrunched up his face. “Are you stalling because you didn’t get me anything?”

Auguste smiled. “There’s about fifty boxes of Grand Cru chocolate in your bedroom.”

Laurent’s sound of ecstasy was too loud; Al spilled some of his whiskey onto his pants. Auguste clapped him on the back in commiseration.

As the servants laid out a small meal —  roses of smoked salmon on cucumber slices, macaroons, thin slices of cured meat and cheese, crunchy shrimp salad on crusty rolls, grapes and strawberries and mango and pineapple, individual strawberry shortcakes, that kind of thing — Auguste said, “Father tells me you’re having an affair with the King of Akielos.” He said it casually enough, but Laurent could see he wasn’t thrilled about the idea.

Laurent swallowed his last bite of sandwich and placed a hand on his heart. “Al! You should know better than to gossip, shame on you!”

Al just sighed, a long, suffering sound, and Auguste glared openly at him. “I thought you promised to stop disrespecting Father like that.”

Laurent’s stomach pooled with an uncomfortable tightness. Being told off by Auguste somehow was always worse than being told off by Al.

“Fine,” Laurent said shortly. He said to Al: “Oh dearest Father, Papa, Your Majesty, light of my life, the man who impregnated Queen Hennike, so I, your glorious creation, could be born to bring some joy to this bleak, bleak world: stop gossiping immediately.”

There was a very long pause. Then Auguste laughed. “You are such a shit.”

Al sighed again. “He’s becoming more and more insolent by the day.”

“Thank you so much,” Laurent said, wiping away an imaginary tear.

Auguste barked another laugh. Al sipped more whiskey; a very good sign. Laurent was going to take advantage of this; he wanted a new watch.

Auguste continued his questioning a few minutes later. “So. You and the King — it’s true?”

Laurent flapped a hand. “Oh, you know how it is. He saw those pictures of me from Aimeric’s birthday party where I wore those silk shorts that were just long enough to be tasteful and the poor darling had absolutely no choice but to slide into my DMs and woo me.”

“What’s a DM?” asked Al, and if the question had come from anyone else, Laurent would have found it adorable. He probably would have tweeted it as well.

“Texting,” Auguste said. He seemed contemplative. “Aimeric’s birthday — from last September? It’s been a bit more than a year.”

“Yes,” said Laurent. He tried to say it as wistfully as possible. “He bought me a Ferrarri.”

“Really?” Auguste sounded impressed. “The 1954?”

Laurent grinned. “Do you want to drive it?”

“Fuck yeah,” Auguste said, then quickly cleared his throat and looked at their father. “I mean, yes. Perhaps later in the afternoon.”

Al shook his head, but he didn’t say anything for the rest of the meal. Well, he didn’t say anything to Laurent. He really was in a good mood.

*

Having Auguste back had Laurent so distracted it wasn’t until a few days later that he realised how frantically the staff were cleaning the floors and walls and painting frames.

In fact, he became so relaxed doing less than nothing all day, since Al was too busy doing this and that, or fawning over Auguste, he didn’t comprehend why the chefs needed fifty boars delivered fresh on Friday morning, until Al told him before their weekly Council, “I want you to wear your red high neck blouse tomorrow.”

“Why?” Laurent asked, checking for any fine lines in the shine of the armour of one of the propped knights in the hallway.

“It is the colour of the Akielos banner. I am trying to seem as diplomatic as possible.”

Laurent went very, very still. With dawning horror, he said, “The — Damianos is coming tomorrow?”

Al’s expression turned thunderous. “Do not waste my time asking stupid questions, Laurent. You know how much I despise it.”

Laurent’s eyes widened. “Oh no,” he said quietly, real fear settling into his bones. Damianos was going to murder him tomorrow. He would need to get a facial tonight, to ensure he was the most beautiful corpse the human eye had seen. And then something much more horrific occurred to him. “Wait! I can’t wear the red high neck with the Crown of Naos! Those colours completely clash!”

Al seemed to age a few centuries in a blink of an eye. With a shake of his head, he walked into the Chambers, leaving Laurent alone in the hallway.

Laurent frowned. One of these days, he was going to be the one storming out. It was only fair.

*

Things only got worse.

Laurent’s last minute facial broke him out, so he threatened to sue and smashed one of their stupid reclining chairs.

Laurent had honestly thought that was going to be the worst of it; the pimple along his jawline was easy to cover up once he got the local dermatologist to inject something in it.

But on the morning of Damianos’ arrival, Laurent was in a terrible mood. He hadn’t slept at all, worried about his pimple, his horrible outfit, and the fact that a man who was the size of a small house — Google said Damianos was 6’6”, but he was definitely way more, no arguments — was going to viciously kill him.

“Hurry up,” Laurent snapped at the servant dressing him, who had been pulling too sharply at his laces for the last six minutes.

“Yes, Your Highness,” he answered meekly, and continued fumbling about.

When a few more minutes passed, Laurent looked down at him. “Okay, seriously, this is ridiculous. You usually get me dressed in ten minutes or less. What is the problem?”

“I —” The servant looked like he was on the verge of tears. “Your Highness, the laces — I can’t do them up. It’s uh — it’s too tight.”

“What do you mean?” Laurent asked, narrowing his eyes. “This fit perfectly a month ago.”

“Yes, well —” And his eyes slid over to the bed, where an empty, open box of chocolates was stacked against many other empty boxes of chocolate.

Laurent saw red.

It took three guards and then Jord and Lazar to keep Laurent restrained enough to not kill him. In the end, he yelled until his throat was hoarse and the servant broke down, running out the room with his face covered in tears.

Afterwards, Laurent attempted to do up the laces himself, because he was not fat, and he definitely had not gained weight; he was svelte and sexy and desirable.

In the end, he could only do his trousers up, and only just. If he let out a particularly deep exhale… well, breathing was overrated anyway, Laurent had always thought so.

“Oh, forget it!” Laurent howled, miserable and on the verge of tears himself. “I look ridiculous.”

“No, you don’t, Your Highness,” Jord assured quickly. Too quickly.

Laurent glanced at himself in the mirror. His ass was practically suffocated in these trousers — and that was his best feature! He ran a hand down it forlornly. “It’s too tight.”

Jord’s eyes followed his hand with avid interest. He was drooling.

“Could be tighter,” said Lazar, leaning against the bedpost.

Laurent flung himself on the bed. “No it couldn’t. I need to lose about three kilograms in the next —” He checked the clock, “half an hour. Oh god. Just tell Al I died. It’ll make his day, go on.”

“Orgasms help with weight loss,” said Lazar. “I could fuck your face.”

Laurent sniffed “Don’t be so stupid.” He looked at the clock again. “Obviously, riding you will help me lose more calories. Both of you get on the bed, quick.”

*

Laurent did not lose three kilograms in half an hour. As enjoyable as the sex had been, it had only made him tired and anxious.

Jord suggested that Laurent should just let the laces at the back trail, and cover it up with a coat, even though it was far too hot in the year to wear one. Laurent obliged anyway, knowing how difficult Al would be if he showed up wearing undiplomatic colours. He changed his trousers into a different pair, making sure it had an elastic waistband to stretch accommodatingly.

When the crown was placed on his head, he staggered a little. It really was unnecessarily heavy. His great great grandfather must have had a head the size of a watermelon.

Laurent walked unsteadily down the hall, towards the Palace steps where Auguste and Al were already waiting. His insides became so twisted with the thought of seeing Damianos, he had to make a detour and hide behind a tapestry to have a panic, but only a little one.

Outside, the sun was blazing. Auguste clapped him on the back in greeting, and Laurent winced, the material of his blouse sticking to his armpits. Al’s lips curled at his outfit, but Laurent couldn’t care. He hoped he looked beautiful enough — just enough — so Damianos would reconsider his murder. At the very least, Laurent hoped nothing happened to his face.

“Alright?” said Auguste. “You’re sweating.”

“Shut up,” said Laurent, mortified. He was a prince; he did not sweat.

Auguste’s response was cut off by the sound of the gates opening and rolling tires on gravel. Laurent’s heart was in his ears; he swallowed, but it made him feel more sick.

The sleek, black car was parked in the driveway. Several seconds later, Damianos stepped out, tall and handsome.

Laurent whimpered. It was one thing to see photos of Damianos on the internet, walking briskly down the street or shaking hands with Al, and it was another thing entirely to see him in the flesh as he walked down their driveway.

He was so tall. And he was built like a tree; all thick arms and chest and thighs. Laurent had such a weakness for thighs, they were really the best part of a man’s body, how they framed the groin and the cock and —

Laurent realised, suddenly, that he had not prepared at all for how he was going to greet Damianos.

Lovers kissed each other, yes? Laurent didn’t think he could do that without being punched but god, would Al think it was weird if he didn’t at least attempt to kiss Damianos? Maybe he could pretend to suddenly be shy, too coy to look into Damianos’ eyes in front of everyone — yes, yes that sounded perfect.

Damianos came up the stairs, smile wide and straight. His teeth were amazing. Were they fake? Laurent didn’t think so; he ran his tongue over his own, nervous, heart still thumping in his ears.

He greeted Al first. Laurent’s head was spinning. What if Al said something? What if Auguste did? What if Damianos said something that alluded to the fact that this was technically, the first time he and Laurent would be speaking to another?

And then Laurent couldn’t think of anything else, because Damianos was standing right in front of him.

He reached out, one large, dark hand to shake Laurent’s. Laurent staggered forward, into his chest, and closed his eyes.

*

When he opened his eyes again, Laurent saw the most beautiful angel.

“Wow, you’re hot.” Laurent poked a very hard, very strong bicep. “Heaven’s pretty cool.” He was dead, obviously,  because people this good looking didn’t exist in the mortal world.

“You’re not dead, Laurent. Can you sit up?”

Laurent thought about it. He wasn’t dead? That was good news. But he felt like he was dead because he couldn’t move his body at all.

“Here, can you follow my finger?”

“Hmm.” Laurent said and stared unblinkingly at what he assumed was a finger. It was quite blurry.

“I think he’s concussed.”

Laurent giggled. The stranger’s accent made it sound like he had said cock-cussed. It made Laurent want to suck cock.

He said, “If I’m not dead, I’d like to be. Jord, get me my blue Prada scarf. I want to be buried in it. Lazar, get your gun out.”

“He doesn’t seem concussed.” That was Al. The compulsion to die was suddenly much stronger.

“We should take him to the hospital,” the hot angel said. Laurent was in love.

He said as much: “I really love you,” he told the blurry figure. Then he rolled over onto his side and threw up.

#captive prince #im going to see if its worth posting on tumblr and ao3 dont mind me #fake dating au #damen x laurent #my writing #my fic #queue

[bibbykins]

Heliophilic Rain and His Pluviophile (M)

Yikes, it’s been a hot minute. That’s my bad. I have been having it a little rough with my job and so I’m in the process of finding another one and that among a billion other things is slowing me down. Which makes me wonder if I were to open commissions if anyone would be interested? I also would like to add there is a scene that could be triggering so proceed with caution, please. Either way, thank you for your patience as always, and I hope you enjoy!

Pairing: (Soft) Yandere! Yoongi x Reader Genre: Smut/Fluff

Word Count: 8.5k

Warnings: possessiveness, yandere tendencies, anxiety, unspoken threat of sexual assault, slight violence, oral, penetrative sex, cock warming, toxic relationship (he's yandere ya kno)

Summary: He was the rain just as you were the sun, both too transfixed with watching each other to get any closer. Few things feel more refreshing than drops of fresh rain on heated skin or the warmth of the sun on a gloomy day. It would be a shame to not indulge in the natural wonders of the world before you.

“Her voice was like the wind. I could listen until it was all that filled me. I could listen until she swept me away into the vast ocean of her presence. I would drown if it meant I would drift back to her. Her voice was like the wind. No matter how much I tried to catch it, I would get carried away. Suddenly, I wasn’t in Kansas anymore. Suddenly, home was wherever she said it was, so long as she did so with that voice of hers.”

“His voice was like the tap of rain against a window. He was asking me to go out to see him, but there was something beautiful about the way I knew he wasn’t referring to me specifically. I was a mere onlooker to his presence. Even so, I would catch a cold if it meant I could reach him, even for a moment. I thought this, knowing I would never have the guts to go outside. I made peace with this until the taps on my window turned into knocks on my door.”

——-

The office had an industrial-chic style about it, filled with neutral tones and the clanging of chains for no other purpose except fashion donned upon its employees. The color palette was gloomy and soothing, just how Yoongi liked it, an aesthetic that his employees gleefully shared with him as well. Each morning, Yoongi would look out his office and admire his growing business, eyes never lingering on one place too long, he loved all of the office equally. This much rang true until he couldn’t tear his eyes away from your form.

“She’s like a breath of fresh air, isn’t she?” Hoseok placed his hand on Yoongi’s soldier as he watched you through the glass doors of the conference room you were currently introducing yourself in, “Don’t be too hard on her, she’s competent and hardworking, okay?” 

Yoongi could barely hear his friend as he lost himself in the way your eyes crinkled from a genuine smile adorning your face. You were his new host to one of the podcasts his company picked up. From the merger with Hoseok’s company full of his college friends, Yoongi went from popular podcast host and semi-popular producer to a CEO of Min Productions, famous music artists in production and performance,  who oversaw the production of music and several podcasts on several topics, and you were what he had initially dreaded.

From the merger, came money, but what also came with it was Namjoon, the PR head of the company Hoseok was a part of, being able to choose one of every five talents for Yoongi to build up, hopefully into fame. Yoongi had just reached his fifth host, the podcasts he chose mostly consisting of music commentary or general life talks from people with aesthetics aligned with his own. However, from the sea of neutral colors and low voices partaking in casual conversation came you.

You were a perky college senior with some light in your eyes still. You were a rare find and had no set style ranging anywhere from pastels to the grunge he was used to seeing, but what never changed was your smile. Your teeth made an appearance at least 10 times a day, judging by the third smile you had just flashed the crew in a two-minute time frame.

Your podcast, however, oddly betrayed your attitude. You ran a sex and lifestyle podcast where you asked questions most people were too shy to throw out into the world pertaining to the unspoken social rules of casual dating and sex. It was interesting, yes, but it didn’t align with the brand Yoongi had been building judging by the synopsis. 

The fuss he made to Namjoon ended as soon as he sat down and listened to a podcast of yours. 

—–

“I have a formal complaint I would like to file!” You proclaimed as Yoongi found himself listening to your most recent podcast, “Why the fuck can’t I get a sugar daddy my age? It’s almost like… like my age demographic consists mostly of broke-ass college kids living with their parents, in a dorm, or like ya girl, an overpriced apartment and not rich as fuck for no reason. Fucking whack, I’ll say it.” He unwittingly cracked a smile at your charm and sarcasm, “I spent one day on sugarbaby.com and had to watch vanilla straight porn at the number of wrinkly dicks I saw instead of profile pictures. That’s like the most boring porn. So here comes a Patreon plug for the brainwashing I will conduct on myself in case I saw anyone’s grandfather’s penis.” You had an unabashed charm about you that urged him to listen more, maybe just one more episode.

Yoongi found himself listening to your entire discography, even the less promoted music you released once every blue moon, which wasn’t half-bad. However, he couldn’t find a picture of you, most likely because you posted under the alias Sugar Sun. The only pictures of yourself being from behind.

“On this episode of men are trash: men are fucking trash. Hello all, Sugar Sun here, and let’s talk about my day,” Yoongi could feel his intrigue grow, as you kept releasing, your delivery became less forced and more natural, “I don’t talk much in class, believe it or not. I’m a stuttering mess and like two people know my name at my big ass university, so when I do talk and my shit hole of a lab partner yells at me in the middle of a presentation to speak up, I cry, in front of the class. But do I stop the presentation? No, I’m fucking frozen with fear, so I just continue with my tears and the presentation. Bitch, what the fuck I looked like a middle school drama kid doing a monologue in front of her math class for no fucking reason.” You took a deep breath, “In conclusion, I’m sensitive and men are trash. Now, to the podcast.”

You had gained more traction with your commentary on romantic life and general comedy, catching Namjoon’s attention, “Hello again, double S here, with a special announcement. I got like, an actual company to sign me! Wild, I know! I’ll get paid and have meet-ups and stuff, which means you lovely listeners will get to soak in my face and talk to me in person and really experience why the only orgasms I’ve had are self-made!”

—–

“Yoongi!” Hoseok tapped his shoulder, snapping him out of his trance you put him in.

“Sorry, she’s just-”

“Be nice,” Hoseok warned.

“Like sunshine.” Yoongi could feel the air enter his lungs as you sat down with a smile, “Like, what the fuck, Hobi?” 

His friend blinked, “Woah, shit, what?” He stifled a laugh, “You know, there isn’t a no-dating policy, right?”

“I’m well aware.” Yoongi rolled his eyes, “But there will be if anyone tries anything.” He spoke nonchalantly and Hoseok choked on air at his friend’s obliviousness while the glass doors of the conference rooms were opened, you pouring out from it, waltzing to Yoongi and Hoseok.

“Hello, Mr. Min and Ho-Mr. Jung, I’m Y/n, or Sugar Sun, thank you for this amazing opportunity.” You bowed as Hoseok shook off his bewilderment for just a moment to give you a small bow with Yoongi.

“I look forward to spending more time with you.” Yoongi spoke in his regular gruff voice, the same one that proclaimed to have your hand in marriage just moments before, “I find you’ll be a breath of fresh air to the company.”

“I also look forward to seeing how your podcasts go, you have a photoshoot in a couple weeks, right?” Hoseok smiled warmly at you as you beamed back to him. Yoongi swore the whole exchange was blinding.

“I do! I’m a little nervous, since it’ll be my big face reveal, and I don’t know how well I model.” You giggled and Yoongi found his new favorite song the moment you did.

Yoongi had a tendency to do this, whether or not he wanted to. He was a passionate man. He craved love and could see it coming from a mile away. Despite being one of the seven main heartthrobs of his college campus, he almost exclusively stuck to serious relationships, and he meant it when he said serious. Yoongi was a little, to put it lightly, obsessive. He was a jealous boyfriend, but he did his best to try not to be too overbearing. He was also excessively protective, and the women he dated were grungy free spirits who enjoyed the chase when all Yoongi wanted was to catch them then hold them for the rest of his life. Despite being blinded by his own passion, he could still see when it wasn’t going to last, having accepted to never find a girl to accommodate and sedate him when needed. However, when you looked his way, or he heard your voice, it was something more than a need being filled.

You felt your heart leap out of his chest, trying not to fall into Yoongi’s hands when you first saw him, and here he was, nonchalantly giving you an inkling of a smile. Maybe it was the lack of a solid fuck or a relationship, but you were definitely breaking some HR rules in your mind.

Suddenly, you became aware of the content you dished out. You talked about your sex life often, and he knows you’re inexperienced and terribly horny. You internally punched yourself in the face. He probably thinks you’re so weird. Yet, here you were, a huge fan of Agust D and now Min Yoongi was staring at you.

Yoongi smiled, “Don’t worry, I’ve had my experience with a face reveal or two.”

You returned his smile, remembering the day Agust D revealed his face. The whole world stopped, and you only fell deeper when you looked at his eyes, “I-I remember, I’m a fan.” You looked down shyly before facing him again.

“Funny, I am a fan of yours.” He spoke lowly as Hoseok had long walked away unnoticed.

You giggled stupidly, “A fan?” Your sunny smile beamed at him. He had always preferred rainy days, but if this was what the sun looked like, he could get used to being a little warm here and there, “I can hardly believe it.”

“I’m gone a lot and yet, your voice has a certain factor to it that draws people in. ” He mused as his eyes trapped you, “I wonder where you’ve been all my life.”

Just like that, the bubble popped. The chimes came to a screeching halt. The rose-tinted glasses were abruptly ripped off of your face. The magic cleared, and you were left with the realization that while you had damn near counted every interaction, no matter how minuscule, and he hadn’t cared to remember you until now.

“Here’s my personal cell,” He hands you a pristine card with silver numbers, “Call me if you need anything, and I mean it.” You take the card with a quaint smile that deflates

He’s never noticed you until now, of course. The answer to his thoughts was that you’ve been right here.

Before Yoongi could register the chill in the air without your smile, Hoseok came back, “Hey Yoongs, let’s go, we got a flight in a few hours.“ 

“Right.” Yoongi breaks eye contact with you.

“Have a good flight!” You smile, not as wide as before, and Yoongi sees it.

“See you Tuesday, y/n!” Hoseok waves.

“Don’t be late!” You giggle and as soon as they both are out of earshot, Yoongi grills him.

“You know her?!” Yoongi snaps as he enters the town car.

Hoseok blinks at him, confused, “Duh? I thought that was a given.” Upon seeing his friend’s puzzled face remain, Hoseok’s eyes went wide, “Holy shit, you don’t remember her?!”

The older male blinked in confusion, “I’ve never met her before?”

The younger businessman threw his head back as he placed his hands over his face in frustration, “She was in our forensics class and our history class last year’s fall semester and the year before!” He was exasperated, “Remember the super genius sophomore?”

Yoongi racked his brain. Last year? He had been dating some angsty theology major. How could he have let himself be blinded by a temporary fling when the love of his life was right there? He could kick himself at this moment. No wonder your smile faltered, you had remembered him, “Liar, you can’t be serious.”

“Dude, she tutors me to this day in history.” Hoseok deadpanned, “All she requires is I buy her meals that day.”

“How often do you guys have study dates?” Yoongi grits out as his friend snorts at the notion of it being a date.

“Your possessive is showing,” He snickered, “My girl is all I can see these days, no matter how cute y/n is.”

“I will end you if you touch her,” Yoongi doesn’t hesitate, “Especially with the way you treat girls,” His face scrunches in disgust before he grumbled, “But how often?”

“Every other Tuesday.” Hoseok smirked, “And you mean used to treat girls.” 

Yoongi huffed in agreeance.

—-

“Hello, party people.” Your voice entered Yoongi’s headphones as he leaned back on his hotel bed, “Sugar Sun here, in my bedroom. We’re calm, we’re casual, it is a Friday night and this one goes out to my fellow homebodies.” You switched off to play a song. Part of the contract you signed was that you are allowed to go live whenever you liked to encourage and tend to fans. You explained it was almost a tradition for you to set aside a Friday night in once a month for your fans and Yoongi found in comforting as he lay alone. 

Your taste in music was so unbelievably cute, he couldn’t help but smile at the lo-fi song, “And we’re back, hello all here and all who are joining as I speak. Today I took a tour of the studio my actual podcasts will be recorded in and holy shit, they seem to actually take me seriously as a personality and even artist, so expect some tunes soon.” Yoongi smiled at this, you don’t even know your potential, “I’m looking at the chat now to see if there are any questions, and- oh, yes, I did meet my boss. Yes, the iconic Min Yoongi. He is as dreamy as they say, but I have actually met him before.” Yoongi sunk a little further in shame, “Did he remember me?” You read from the chat, “No, of course not. I’m a voice, but no one will know me if I don’t use it.” You sighed out and he felt his heart clench. He was such a fucking idiot. “Which I don’t much beyond this mic. Am I scared to say this now that he’s my boss?” He held his breath a bit, “No, I doubt he’s listening. He said he was my fan, but he could just have said that to be a nice guy.” You laughed, a hint of sadness evident, “What a fucking disaster I must seem like if he were to, huh?” The sadness in your voice more prominent, “If he is, hi Mr. Min, please erase this from your memory, as well as my sophomore haircut.” 

The live went on as normal and Yoongi drifted to sleep to the melodious sound of your voice for the remainder of the flight. However, even in his dreams, you were just out of reach, and he couldn’t begin to put into words how much it killed him.

—-

You don’t know how you got here. You looked around at the shabby setup. This "photography studio” looked a lot, and you mean a lot, like it was a half-assed school set not long ago. You scoffed, throwing your hands up incredulously when you caught sight of a black couch. You really hated your manager.

The jackass was assigned to you and you were too scared to say how uncomfortable he made you. He treated you like a child, but the way he looked at you was too adult for your taste. He was constantly texting you and asking for photos of your face, which you were constantly rejecting. To top it all off, he wants you to call him Big Brother, not Oppa, Big Brother. You opted for Big Bro instead, since he won’t give you his name. No, to top it all off, he booked your photo shoot with a “friend” of his to “save the company money”. He asked you to show up in a dress no longer than your knees and you felt dumber and dumber as time went on for doing so. 

You stood in the middle of this studio-warehouse apartment waiting for this great photographer to show up. As you stood here, your initial thought was “how fucking ridiculous is that” but the longer you were there and the more you studied the ropes that were no longer as well hid, something in your stomach began to turn.

You were in actual fucking danger. This situation could not be a funny story if you didn’t live to tell it. Your eyes darted from different red flags in the room. A spot of dried blood scratches on the cheap wallpaper, bare plaster marks against the beige wall, a poorly-concealed camera you hadn’t noticed until now. Your chest squeezed when your phone vibrated. 

You could get out of here! All you had to do was send an SOS.

Hoseok: Good luck in the photoshoot from my other half and I! 

You smiled lovingly at the snapchat from the male, the more permanent girl in his life with a smile on her face and an encouraging thumbs-up. They were evidently on a date, finally, so there was no way you could call them to come get you. You would hate to bother them.

Mr. Min: Let me know how the shoot goes. 

You faltered over the message. He was professional as ever. Would he think less of you if you abandoned a shoot like this?

Yoongi agonized over the three dots that stared him down. He had to remind himself to blink as he watched the minutes tick by that felt like hours. What the hell were you typing?

It had been about a couple of weeks since you’ve been under Yoongi’s company and all had been normal. Your routine was the same, and so was his. Except for this time, you two would exchange polite texts on what the other would do.

Sugar Sun: Great song as always!

You would always send exclamation points or some sparkle emojis, even a sun here and there. Yoongi found himself unable to shield his cheesy grin at the texts you sent him. You were always the first person to praise his new work. He found himself craving your praise more and more, but he forced himself to remain professional.

Mr. Min: Loved your live.

He always used punctuation despite using fragments which somehow added an aura of professionalism that he effortlessly radiated in person. Nevertheless, you would always send back a sparkly thank you which made Yoongi melt. He prided himself on not overstepping boundaries by attempting to control your professional life. His self-restraint proved quite strong as he held himself back from taking you out to lunch or giving you special treatment. This restraint was put to the ultimate test when he found out you were assigned Hyungin as your manager. He was an unfortunate employee with constant reports that would ultimately be rescinded by the female employees.

He was a disgusting piece of shit, Yoongi deduced. Hyungin was the brother of the management agency contracted by his company, per Namjoon’s damn insistence,  and he was itching for that contract to end, and soon. Yoongi had to physically hold himself back when he found this information out, trying to respect you by not meddling or keeping tabs on you.

His resolve was a very thin string that was tugged and tugged as the days went on with Hyungin having total control over your schedule and an excuse to contact you 24/7. You were a strong girl and had not made a report. He had to respect that. 

Your lip began to twitch, a movement you quickly halted as you shook the fear off. Maybe you were overreacting. Maybe you were being stuck up. You weren’t like Yoongi, maybe you had to photoshoot in shabby places.

You: I’m kind of scared…

You shook your head, erasing the message and locking your phone. You huffed, it was 30 minutes past the scheduled time. Surely you had the right to leave? You heard the back door open and could feel the bile lurch in your throat.

Something was very wrong. You were not overreacting. There were several heavy footsteps and as they thudded through the warehouse, nearing your reaching form, you could not deny the quaking fear that traveled through your veins like electricity.

One? Two? No, four sets of steps. The uneven rhythm proved as much, too many for a measly photoshoot. Too many for you to take on all at once. The correct amount to hold you down. The correct amount to-

“Little sis, are you here?” A sickening voice called out and you realized the steps stopped with only his continuing. 

He was trying to surprise you. 

“Come on, dear, let’s get to know each other.” You could hear the predatory smirk on his face and you choked on a horrified breath as the fear pricked your skin and pierced your lungs.

You were choking on your own horror.

“Come out, come out,” He called and you were frozen, absolutely fucking frozen. 

Run.

You stood up, breaking into a sprint that was a hair too slow. You felt a calloused, obscenely rough handgrip your forearm with a vigorous force and you screamed. He was squeezing, and at this rate, your bones would surely snap, “Not so fast, little girl.” He stood next to you, breath pungent with halitosis. From peripheral vision, you could see his five o'clock shadow and you realized the size difference and the lack of camera. You couldn’t stop screaming, mimicking every cell in your body that seemed to yell,

RUN.

Just like lightning, you struck him with your head, harder than you knew you could stand. His nose gave you an all too satisfying crack and his grip loosened enough for you sprint again, this time more than quick enough to keep going. You heard the clamoring of footsteps and eventually, all you could hear was the sound of the wind as you turned corners you had no familiarity with, running until your legs could no longer carry you. 

Your legs finally shook you down to your knees in a part of town you barely recognized. You had passed through here once before as a freshman in college sight-seeing. It was a tourist spot and you exhaled on the sidewall as people stepped around you.

You heaved a breath that you swore you had been holding for hours with a small victorious smile. Your eyes scanned the area of regular people and your hands shaking brought attention to the purse you thankfully still had.

Without thought, you ripped it open, using your phone to call the first person you could.

“Y/n?” His voice was gruff, as if he was whispering whilst trying to talk normally, “Is everything okay?” He seemed confused, you had never called him before.

“Can you… uh…” You faltered after realizing the strangled sound you made, voice raw from the screams you let out, “…please come get me.” You nearly whispered.

“Send me your location, I’m on my way.” Yoongi didn’t miss a beat before adding, “Stay where you are, don’t go near anyone.” He ended the phone call and you followed his directions, dropping your pin. You sighed in relief as you took refuge on the sidewalk, draping the cardigan in your bag over your shoulder, securing it around yourself.

Yoongi shot up from his office chair, looking at his employees mid-powerpoint. His marketing team turned into ice at his gaze. His eyes were much darker than a moment ago, and his jaw was like stone, “I have an emergency to attend to, we will proceed at a later date.” The room nodded stiffly as their boss walked out, all of them unaware why, having been too scared to even try to listen to his phone call.

Never in Yoongi’s life had he sped so recklessly. You were 10 minutes away and something was wrong. Your voice had never sounded so vulnerable. He had never heard it that quiet before. You were in a plaza of popular building, and if you had a photo shoot today, this would not be near any studio at all. His blood boiled at the thought of anyone taking away your light.

He slammed on the brakes when he caught sight of your shrunken form on the sidewalk, your head jerked up at the sound as your entire body jumped. Why were you so scared? Your face had a small streak of makeup on the side of your face and his skin only flared as you scurried into the car and Yoongi began driving to a more familiar side of town.

“Please don’t take me home.” You pleaded, unable to face him due to the shame.

Yoongi chose not to prod, for the time being, only nodding in response as he drove. He could see you stare out the window at the passing building and he watched your shaking for curl into the car seat. He settled on this resolve of leaving you alone all the way up to the inside of his apartment until your lip quivered as you plopped down on the couch, eyes unwavering from its spot at your feet. Then, you began to cry. No, not cry, sob, sob your hardest and just like that, a single tear snapped the ever-thinning string of restraint he had left.

You were pulled into Yoongi’s chest as sobs racked through your body, you clutched his shirt as you soaked it with tears of fear, relief, joy, and you couldn’t stop. Hell, you could barely breathe. Even so, Yoongi held you as his expensive dress shirt crumbled under your grip and stained with your mascara and eyeliner proving not to be as water-resistant as you hoped. His grip was unwavering and when a hand went to stroke your hair, you could feel oxygen reach your lungs again. 

“It’s okay.” He breathed, “You’re safe now.” He fought the urge to clench his jaw again as you gripped his shirt harder.

Your breathing began to even as he whispered soft words into your ear until your eyes couldn’t cry anymore. The both of you stood there for what felt like an eternity, clinging onto one another as he felt the softness of your cardigan against his hands. You eventually broke the silence with a meek, “I’m so sorry." 

"Why is that?” He spoke softly, his last intent was to scare you.

“I ran away from the shoot, and I know it’s not professional but…” You shivered, “ He didn’t have a camera.” Yoongi could kill somebody, “He had three other guys with him.” Someone, no, all of them are going to have to pay, he concluded. Nobody involved would leave the ordeal with their lives intact. They would lose everything for trying to take his sunshine away, for making your light falter, for even a moment.

He ripped himself from you, to sternly meet your eyes, “Do not apologize for the swine you encountered.” Your eyes only reflected sorrow, “You’re alive, and that is what matters most, okay?” You nodded.

“You’re not mad at me?” Your voice cracked against your will as you looked up at Yoongi, eyes glassy and begging for reassurance.

He visibly softened, “No, Sunshine, I could never be mad at you.” You nodded in understanding, “But will you let me fix this for you?”

Maybe you should have known from the beginning. You looked at Yoongi, so eager to be your saving grace, eyes intense with intent, and yet his touch was so soft. A man in love was a dangerous man, you once read in a book. Yet, never in your life have you craved such a man before, and if Yoongi’s rage mixed with infatuation could measure close to love, you would take it. He was powerful, he was kind, and he was pleasing to the eye. He was offering you the world in that one question.

“Please.” You cast your pride aside, “They don’t deserve mercy.” An angry tear went down your cheek, “I’m so tired of trying to brave it, doubting myself, denying myself any chance of help.” You could feel the tear trickle with hot fury, “I’m so fucking sick of relying on myself.”

Yoongi was quick to catch the tear with the softest hand you’ve ever felt, “I’m here now.” He spoke with the utmost confidence.

Your relationship with Yoongi from that point for the next couple of months was interesting, to say the least. You had somehow moved in upon his request, him rationalizing it by saying they knew where you lived. Granted, he wasn’t wrong. Hyungin knew where you lived, but within two weeks he and the monsters you encountered were promptly locked in a very dangerous maximum-security prison. You decided not to dwell on how they took such a shitty deal with a well-deserved long sentence. 

Some things were above your pay grade, and you made peace with it.

Even so, he didn’t stop there. He could no longer stand on the sidelines anymore. That line blurred beyond recognition the moment he held you in his arms. He was essentially your new manager, stating he owed you at least that much after letting you fall into the hands of such a monster. Thankfully, the releasing of official statements and press conferences were received well. The victim-blaming for the nature of your podcast kept to an obsolete minimum. Your face still had not been released upon your request and you were able to move on, the media no longer covering the story as the sentencing was sealed.

The months passed in a flurry of Yoongi being awfully vague each time you asked about his personal life. He was constantly home outside of work, which you didn’t mind, but you didn’t want him to put his social life on your accord. You also had much less confidence in his infatuation for you then you did a couple months ago. Every time you tried to make a move, which meant a small brush of physical contact, he was not responding. The last time he gave you affection was the hug during your breakdown. The most you got out of him were a couple of head pats.

Like that did anything for you.

For crying out loud, you ran a sex and lifestyle podcast with no sex from the hot man you lived in the same home as.

Hell, the most emotion you see from him is the purest politeness you have ever encountered.

“Hello my listeners, welcome to the obligatory virginity talk.” Your voice was crisp in the mic as Yoongi laid in his bed, headphones in, listening to the newly released podcast. He was still a loyal listener, despite you living in his guest bedroom. He still could not get enough of your voice. If anything, he craved you more and desperately held himself back. He loved having you with him, but never did he think he would have to turn to rubbing one out during your more racy episodes or when he heard you pleasuring yourself in the dead of night. 

Not even his thoughts could satiate him with you right there, and yet, out of reach.

“It has come to my attention that many of you think I’m a virgin, not that it’s an insult..” He could hear the smile in your voice, “Alas, I am not, but that doesn’t change my hand being the most impressive thing my pussy has seen, I’ll tell you what.” You giggled at this, “No, I take that back, my magic wand is my BFF.” Yoongi shifted, wondering if you had your toys in your room. He had sent for all of your things after all. God, he could already feel his dick hardening. How pathetic you make him at the very thought of you fucking yourself silly, eyes rolled back, vibrator against your clit. He huffed, shaking away the thoughts, “ Anyhow, let’s talk trends I am late to, rare, I know, but what’s this whole spelling coconut with your hips riding someone business?” You pondered, “I haven’t ridden someone in a good while, and my dildo can’t tell me if it feels good, so I’m at a loss here.” You sighed almost longingly, “God, I miss getting fucked, but also romanced,” You groaned, “It’s been a rough as fuck dry couple of months, which didn’t bother me for a while considering… you know, but the world keeps turning and I stay alone but moving on…” You droned and Yoongi went into overdrive.

Did you seriously want to fuck someone? Like someone else? You were living with him now, why would you feel the need to have relations with anyone else? His fists clenched at the very concept. You couldn’t be talking for show, you were say too genuine. Before he could even stop himself, he marched over to his bedroom door, ripping it open.

Only when he did had did he realize that you were in front of him, hand raised to knock on the door, “Oh, hey.” You gave him a smile as you slowly retreated your raised arm, “I was just gonna see if you wanted to watch a movie with me?” Every so often you both would have a movie night in which you would try to understand his feelings with small touches and ultimately fail. Nevertheless, you enjoyed his company. Today, you were buying into an article’s advice and watching a scary one. Not that you were terrified, but you were a jumpy person. 

At this rate, you couldn’t tell if you were horny or just wanted affection.

Both, probably.

Your crush on Yoongi had only worsened throughout this whole experience to top it off. He was hot and kind who could blame you? And yet, he never made a single move as if he had no interest. God, what if he didn’t have any interest?

Your heart sank for a moment, “If not, I think I was gonna try to go out-”

“No!” Your eyes widened at Yoongi’s panicked tone when he cleared his throat, “I mean, I want to watch a movie, so you don’t have to go out.” He muttered and you nodded slowly. He could not have you going out, not after what he heard. You were craving other people. He couldn’t bear the thought.

“O…kay…” You smiled a bit, “Well, I picked a scary one if you think you can hang.” You gave him a sly smile before going to make popcorn. 

He smiled as he watched you prance to the kitchen. You were so beautiful and fun and everything he’s ever needed. All that was left was for you to be his, but he didn’t want to scare you away. He had to be a gentleman. He had to wait for the right time. That’s what Jin, Jimin, Jungkook, and Taehyung said. The only issue was that he had no idea what the hell that meant.

“You know, Mr. Min-”

“Yoongi.” He was quick as ever to correct you, “Please.” He sounded more desperate than usual and you nodded.

“Right, well I was just going to say that you have absurd taste in snacks.” You said with a chuckle, “All I ever see in you cupboards are coffee.” You wistfully sigh, “I need to go grocery shopping.”

The sound of you being so domestic-made Yoongi break into an ill-concealed smile as he settled onto the sofa, setting the oddly scary movie you chose up, “I can take you on Saturday.” You nodded when you finally found a bag of chips and sat next to the man of your affection with a cushion between the two of you.

You really couldn’t say what the movie was about, you had only seen it between the gaps in your fingers all while Yoongi watched it with a straight face. When it ended he said a short goodnight as always, except something in you, lurched out. 

“Actually, I think I may go out after all.” You swore you followed your mouth’s lead as opposed to the opposite. You just said shit and had to go along with it. Fuck, you didn’t want to go out. You wanted to stay home and be scared that there was a ghost in the closet, but now you had to get ready and shit.

“Why?” Yoongi stopped, hand gripping his door handle much harder than usual. 

You were taken aback by the question. It was valid, you supposed. But was it? How do you even answer that question? “Well, it’s been a while since I've… ya know…” You clicked your tongue, suddenly too shy to say,

“Had sex?” It was so blunt, and his eyes pierced through you and yet, you could feel your core tingle.

You were nothing but a sputtering mess, “W-W, I-I, Mr. Min-”

“Yoongi, y/n.” He spoke through gritted teeth as he stalked over to you. Despite the unconscious steps back you were taking, the couch brought you to an abrupt stop.

“R-Right, anyways, I-” You shut your mouth when Yoongi hovered over you with his presence alone.

“Say it,” He glared daggers into your form, “Say my name.” Before you could even open your mouth Yoongi groaned, slamming his hands on the couch on either side of you in frustration, “God, why do you want other people when I’m right fucking here?” Your mouth was agape at this, “I’m so sick of holding myself back.” He cursed, body pressing against yours.

“What do you mean? Other people?” You mustered and Yoongi let out a chuckle void of humor.

“I listened to your podcast about wanting to be with someone and getting romance and…” Yoongi seriously thought you had been referring to anyone but him? Him? Seriously? The hot man in the place you live? You couldn’t stifle your laugh which caused his rant to falter, “How is this a laughing matter I am-”

“So fucking dense.” You giggled, “I’ve wanted you to at least look my way for the past three years, and you seriously think I want to be with other people?!” You sighed, “I live with you for fuck’s sake, and you won’t touch me!” Now, you were letting your frustrations out, “I brush your hand, I touch thighs with you, I-I  scare the shit out of myself hoping you’ll at least hold me!” You heaved a breath, “And all you do is stay still!” You let out a frustrated yell, “The most attention I got from you was when I was almost attacked, is that what I need to do to draw sap from a fucking rock?!”

Yoongi flared at this, “Don’t ever think about putting yourself in danger.” He pointed at you, “I couldn’t take it, and I can’t take you not being honest with me, I thought you never noticed-” He was being a hypocrite, but he didn’t care.

“How could you say I don’t notice you when you straight up forgot I existed until this year?!” Yoongi was the one dumbfounded this time, and you took your chance to push past him, “I will go out tonight because I deserve-”

You couldn’t even breathe the next syllable before your back hit Yoongi’s bedroom door, his hands pinning your wrists above your own, the man breathing heavy. The air was thick with frustration as he gave you a stern look, “You deserve the world, I know,” The anger in you began to dissipate at his sincerity in his words, “And I am so in love with you, that I don’t think I’m worthy of giving it to you,” Your breath hitched at this, “But I don’t care anymore, because I would sooner kill someone before they put their hands on you, I’m sure you know I mean business, Sunshine?” You nodded, every cell in your body springing to life as Yoongi drew his lips closer to you, “So?”

You blew out a shaky breath with an equally shaky smile, “L-Love me? I-" 

"Say you love me, and I’ll do it.” He was more rushed this time, urgent almost, “I’ll stop holding back, and I will give you all that you deserve and so, so much more.” He was almost pleading.

What the fuck do you know about love? What does it look like? Sound like? Is it the way Yoongi smiles at your dumb jokes in the morning? Is it the way his voice sounds through the walls as he practices newly-written lyrics? He was a good man to you. He was an attractive man. He could give you the world, and all he wanted in return was your love. Could all of this be love? Could it be the way he’s made you feel the past couple of years, especially the last couple of months? 

Well, why the hell wouldn’t it be?

“I love you, Yoongi.” You breathed against his lips and he didn’t miss a beat in closing the gap so not even air could come between the two of you.

Electrifying all over again, but so, so different. This wasn’t fear. This was lust lighting a fire within you that Yoongi only stoked further as his silky tongue tangled with yours in a flurry of repressed emotions and endless unspoken confessions. His mouth attached to your neck and you let out a moan, quickly going to cover your mouth. 

He ripped your hand away almost instantly, “You’re rarely this shy when you’re in your room, why deny me your sounds now?” He growled against your ear and the pure sex in his voice only made you moan louder. He was the rain you had admired from afar, but now he was pressed against you, and holy shit, were you getting wet.

“Yoongi, I don’t know if I can wait, I want to cum so fucking ba-ah!” You yelped when his hand went to cup your sex under the long shirt you always wore. You were on your tippy-toes, too sensitive to press your full weight onto him.

“Such an innocent-looking girl with such a nasty mouth.” He squeezed you in his hand and watched in glory as your eyes rolled back, “Since you’re a fan, I’ll be nice.” He teased as he got onto his knees, dragging your panties down with him to the floor.

“Oh shit.” You let out a breath that was quickly stolen when his tongue pressed against your entry. He lifted your leg, placing it over his shoulder as his mouth lapped at your clit and you lost yourself in the feeling, moaning mindlessly.

“You taste like deliverance.” He mumbled against your pussy and this only made your eyes roll back at the eroticism in his words. You couldn’t even keep track of what he was doing anymore.

All you could do was feel. His tongue fucked you into oblivion as he held your hips still, determined to make you come with his mouth, and his mouth alone. He let out a lewd suck and you quivered at the sensation and action. He knew how to play you and please you that you did. His tongue entered you again and he let out a delicious moan which vibrated against your folds, “Fuck, you sound and feel so fucking good!” You cried out as his tongue made thick strokes against you that only sped up expertly as he moaned into you, “Can I cum, Yoongi?” You asked, a smart girl, he concluded. He smirked against you, full intention to deny your request until, “Please, my love, I want to cum in your mouth like a good girl.” You begged pathetically and he couldn’t refuse you. You had him wrapped around your finger and hardly knew it. He got to work quickly, tongue entering you again only to flick upwards and you groaned at this. Groans were quickly replaced by increased screaming as he stiffened his tongue and licked all around your sex. You began to scream his name like a mantra as you tighten around the muscle and came the hardest you ever had.

You slumped against the door, chest heaving, “You okay, baby?” The nickname from him elicited a tired smile. You looked down at the man, lips glossy as he licked them. He sat back on his calves and you wasted no time in diving at him on the floor.

Before he could react, you gripped him through his sweatpants and smiled when you realized he was rock hard, “Can I please ride you?” You looked up at him through your eyelashes and he knew he couldn’t possibly say no.

“Your wish is my command, sunshine.” He growled when you straddle him as he sat, legs spread and back against the back of the couch now. You gave a less than innocent smile as you reached for his member, delicate hands wrapping around him, only to pull it free and closer to your entrance, “Condom?” He questioned.

“Pill, I need to feel you, fuck.” You panted, against logical judgment, but it was lost when you pressed the head against your own entrance, “Shit.” You ground against Yoongi as his head lolled back.

He could hardly handle it as your hips twirled, the tip just outside your entrance. Finally, he had enough, and with strong hands pulled your hips to fill you to the hilt. Your mouth popped open in shock and pure masochistic delight as the pain only added to the high of lust Yoongi gave you, “Sorry, baby girl, I knew you would feel so fucking good.” He emphasized this with a thrust up, “Plus, I could hardly resist being deep inside you immediately.” He growled in sadistic pride as your face twisted in pain and pleasure.

“Hurts so good.” Your hips moved spastically, chasing another high with Yoongi deep inside you. Not once did you lift your hips. You wanted to stay full, and Yoongi was more than happy to oblige, “So good, I wanna stay like this.” You moaned out as he sucked on your neck, hands going under your shirt to grip your breasts with a fevor you craved.

“You feel like heaven.” He grunted against your neck as he littered it with hickey after hickey. You were his and the way you squeezed around him and clawed at his shoulder only spurred him further. 

Yoongi could feel himself twitching inside you and this only made you gasp as you gleefully squeezed around him, “Yes, yes,” You sounded like a prayer to him, “Cum inside me, I need it.” You were nearly screaming as he began to thrust into you at a rapid pace.

“Yeah? You want me to paint those pretty walls white, hm?” He teased you despite the strain in his voice, “Fuck it right into that pretty pussy of yours, no mine.” He grabbed your hips, working your body for his own high, “This is my pussy, isn’t it?" 

"Yes, it’s all yours, Yoongi!” You yelled and with that, he groaned as he came, ropes of cum that you could feel as his hips made good of his promise to fuck it into you. You milked him as you squeezed tighter before coming undone as you came with a scream that sounded like the next symphonic masterpiece to the fucked out man inside you.

You huffed a small chuckle against his neck as your curled your form around his, “So needy.” He teased as he went to remove himself inside of you only to be met with a squeeze from you that made him curse, “You’re gonna kill me, I swear.”

You giggled, “I like how you feel inside of me.” You shrugged before shivering at the empty feeling only to gasp when three fingers were shoved into you. You wiggled in glee, “Fuck.” Your breath hot against his neck.

 "You just like to be full, huh baby?“ You nodded shyly, "You’re perfect.” He chuckled as he used his other hand to stroke your back.

—-

“Announcement time, my dear listeners” You spoke in the studio, trying not to sound like it was through gritted teeth. You counted your blessings that you were alone, “As you know, your dear old Sugar Sun has promised a face reveal and I-Min Yoongi!” Well, mostly alone. You heaved a breath as you came against his mouth for the third time.

The man between your legs looked up at you, eyes way too innocent, “What? I’m waiting for my part.” He spoke nonchalantly despite the wetness on his lips.

“I’ll never get there if you keep making me cum and start over.” You glared and the man shrugged, “I got far enough, right, babe?” You pouted and watched his resolve crack, “Honeypie?” You pleaded and he faltered, “Love of my life?” He grumbled as he sat up next to you in front of the mic.

“Fine, go ahead.” He licked his lips.

“…and I decided to go a step further.” You smiled as the man next to you held your hand, “I will be doing a photoshoot to reveal my face and my collab partner to an upcoming song and my boyfriend…”

You looked to him, eyes twinkling, “That would be my cue.” He placed a quiet kiss on your head, “My name is Min Yoongi or Agust D as some of you may know, and I look forward to my career and life with this little piece of sunshine.” You giggled at this.

“So cheesy.” You gave him a bright smile nonetheless, “Crazy news, I know, but I secured the fucking bag, my dear listeners, he’s never getting rid of me." 

You were joking for the most part, but you didn’t know how right you were. You would not be away from him any longer. You were his sunshine, his little songbird, and his world all at the same time. He needed you like he needed to breathe. Now, you were his. You were his sunshine despite the rain he embodied. The rainbow between the two of you was too intoxicating to even bear the idea of giving it up. Even for a fraction of second. You were his. Every moment, minute, second, everything would be together. He was yours now and forever just as you were his. Blissfully and eternally in love.

"I’m too crazy to let go now.” You laughed as he kissed your temple affectionately.

So was he.

Buy me a ko-fi (it would make my day) 

Masterlist

#yandere bts #yandere yoongi #bts fanfic #bts smut #yoongi smut #bts oneshot #bts yandere au #yandere bts smut #bts #bts fluff #yoongi fluff #min yoongi

[handlewithkara]

Why we ship

I have always believed, when people ship something, in a really in depth way, there is usually a reason. And that reason usually is some sort of personal association. Of seeing ourselves in the characters or in the situations, of relating it somehow to personal biography.

A surprising amount of time, I think that's actually a really bad thing. Because it often means that fans lose perspective. That they go to bat for their favorites to a completely unreasonable extent, because deep down, they are defending themselves, their own hopes and dreams, their identity, their life experiences.

I do think that it is possible to enjoy a ship on mere aesthetic reasons. "Oh, this was really clever" or "you know, that's some really fine acting".

And in the middle somewhere maybe "I really like this character and I want him or her to be happy."

But I have often thought, those cases where the fans go really rabid, or where people sit down and write hundreds of thousands of words in dedication and fanfiction, a lot of the time, there is a reason

"I really relate to that character with a shitty homelife..."

"I really relate to that character who always gets belittled..."

"I really relate to that character who is always the wallflower..."

"I really relate to that character who always has to be strong and never gets a moment to rest..."

“I really relate to that character who is young and idealistic and walking into a new situation...”

"I really relate to that girl who seems aloof and unreachable, but who really yearns for a connection..."

"I really relate to that nerdy girl who loves the big hot guy who never seems to notice her or take her seriously..."

"I really relate to that girl who is snarky and abrasive but it's really just covering up insecurity..."

Because I KNOW what that feels like. Because I have BEEN THERE.

I like to think that I'm not too rabid about Karamel, at least not in the sense of trying to arguing that it is the best written relationship or romance ever. But it would be a lie to say there isn't some element of that going on there. For me, when I think of Karamel, when I think of what made me want to go and write copious amounts of fanfic on a basically dead ship, what makes the more to me than just a cute looking couple with chemistry and story or fanfic potential, what I keep going back to are these two scenes.

Those aren't even my favorite scenes. Or even necessarily their best shippy scenes. Or the scenes that made me notice them as a ship. It's not even a scene I've ever written any fanfic on, I think.

But when I think of Karamel, of what makes them more to me than just a normal tv couple, those are the two scenes that my mind goes to.

There is just something in those scenes, a certain rawness that makes them feel very real to me. It's in the performences, the lighting, the staging, in the music and lack thereof.

It's funny because I remember having a (friendly, polite) conversation once with an anti-fan, and it's seemed pretty clear to me that she was looking at that scene from the point of view of a gay girl and how awkward it is to have a guy have a crush on it.

And I look at that scene and to me, it's just the opposite. It feels incredibly real, incredibly true to me. I feel like I have been that girl. Because I have been that girl. I have been the straight girl who has had a straight guy confess to them. And it feels like that. Raw. Fragile. Intimate. Like you have this power because he put his heart in your hand. Feels like you are tip-toeing on a precipice.And your heart is just so confused. 

Same with the other scene. I feel like I've had that breakup. Where you meet up with the guy in a room and it's not really a loud breakup, no big histronics, just this quiet, tight conversation.

And that's why I'll always like Karamel. Because beyond superpowers and aliens and evil queens and corny dialogue there was something there that felt really stripped down, very raw. Like real people dealing with real situations.

Most of the time, I think we love characters, we love actors for all the ways they can portray things, can portray emotions that are larger than life. Those two scenes? I love because they feel as small as life.

So everytime I want to get really mad at canon. Or wake up in the morning and write before going to work. Or I look at my AO3 and wonder whether I should feel like I wasted my time (I mean aside from all the "it's good to creative" and "all the fun conversations I have had and all the fun people I have met"), the answer is always... not really.

Because beyond something being cute or entertaining or really unusual or clever for tv standards or well acted or pretty ... I think of those scenes and think "Sorry, those were just really, really good."

And no matter what happens to the characters, the show, the actors ... doesn't really change that I think back on those scenes and think, again, they were just really, really good.

#supergirl #karamel #melissa benoist #Chris Wood #kara danvers #mon-el

[lady-plantagenet]

What hasn’t already been said: The Spanish Princess 2

Episode 3: GOOD Grief! (we finally have a good episode on our hands)

To all those of you keen enough to have come back for another segment of ‘what hasn’t already been said: TSP’, as opposed to have just been scrolling when you see this - welcome back! (Scrollers you too <3)

Drawing of Thomas More’s Son AKA who Margaret Pole at this point wants to be the step baby momma of ;).

To anyone who’s seeing this for the first time: what this is a list of observations, jokes, reactions and criticism which occur to me upon a rewatch. I wait every week until Saturday to do this so that I have had my fill of scrolling through the tag and aggregating what has already been said. I tried doing a whole spoof (here where I gave up 10% in) but tbh a) I don’t know the history well enough b) it’s more time consuming than I thought and c) this series is just not as funny or as crazy as TWQ, so it’s untenable. Having said that: This is not a hatepost. I’m not hatewatching this series and nitpicking on purpose but expressing my honest views and trying to find the good in it as well as the bad.

Without further ado...

First Scenes: 

LMAO the way Wolsey suggests they break their alliance with Spain is freaking hilarious because the actor delivers the lines as if he were a high school girl making a personal attack by suggesting the prom change its theme to 70s disco to the chagrin of the peppy up-and-coming rival.

Also @ Henry VIII looking like the peppy up-and-comer’s bff and shy stan with that pencil bite and small smirk when Catherine loses her cool against Wolsey.

I’m sorry... who is Henry married to again?

Also what is Margaret Pole doing at the council meeting?? I’m not saying I don’t like it.

Margaret Pole warning against certain repetitive thinking creating madness :(((

Attempted Naked Twister:

Oh Catherine, what is with you and all the other STARZ protagonists and that weird politcky bedroom talk? Who actually finds this sexy?

‘Catherine you are unnatural’ ooof that line delivery was somehow haunting.

Was the whole ‘I can’t be rushed you are off-putting with your overpowering’ a callback to Arthur and Catherine? Apparently there’s another writer for this episode so I won’t put all subtly past them. 

Scotland:

‘Shitey men’ asdkjashd

Look I’m tired of all this ‘my children won’t be safe’ line getting repeated. Look mate, murder of royal infants and children was not exactly a common occurence, even in cases of deposition. The Princes in the Tower are an exception to this but a very infamous case for that reason. Child murder was extremely taboo. In situations like this with an infant kid, no one is going to bother murdering the babies and taking their thrones, the lords will just vie for power and make themselves de facto rulers and oust the queen. It’s not a question of safety but a question of holding power. Stop giving all women characters perma mummy brains.

Maggie being all caring:

‘Barnaby’ *scoffs* ‘Such an English name’ - OH MAN 0_0 is Catherine mocking them for trying to adapt ? Like I know it’s meant to show her envy for Lina, but it’s coming out all messed up.

Our girl Maggie’s smile screams I’m beating your ass in chess.

Anyhow this is the least histrionic we’ve seen Catherine so far.

Chaplain vs Catherine:

I’m interested how Catherine will feel at Stafford’s execution given that I have noticed this show build up to a friendship between them.

Why is everyone laughing at the whole ‘will you delight us with new schemes’ line was not that funny?

LMAO at Thomas Boleyn’s attempted brown-nosing. 

You know what? Ruairi is a decent actor. When he says ‘so you admit it? you lost the child because you tried to be a man?” the actor conveys Henry’s troubled mind, lowkey scare towards Catherine and bewilderment all in one. The way his eyes do not move but just widen emotionlessly also gives this sense that he is being manipulated (which I guess they are going for with Wolsey). Then the whole choir music in the background.. I don’t know.. I’m liking this, it’s creating a vibe of a king of haunted and increasingly paranoid Henry. I’m sure they are going for that, so good.

Ursula Pole and Mama:

Maggie Pole say ‘riches don’t keep you safe’ with tears in her eyes :’(. Please tell me how this is not her thinking on her parents and granddad Warwick and what befell them ;’(.

I find Ursula refreshing actually, don’t get those types of heroines often. But they are making her similar to a gold-digger, an exhalted marriage was first and foremost considered a thing of honour. Noblepeople wouldn’t speak in such mercenary terms regarding their marriages. 

Post Mary Defiance:

I love the ‘horse’ nickname from Brandon n’awwww

Also just realised what made TWQ so atmospheric - that wierd ‘oooo’ sound effect in the background when a character was being paranoid or worrying. They are using it during Henry’s ‘How is it that I have no sons?’ and it is just... so effective.

Catherine calling them ordinary children... she just keeps striking me as more and more classist. Like ok, I know every royal was... but still, I thought she was meant to see Lina as a friend and equal despite her race and status. To add the race element, this kind of rubs me the wrong way.

Also it is so clear by the end when Catherine states how the king is upset with her, she expects Maggie to ask her about it.. but she doesn’t lmao.

Back to Scotland until Sexy boy fencing:

I love me this soft boi. Angus <3 <3

I like how they address that some men don’t really like killing and that violence isn’t inherent in a man’s nature.

Oh man, are we supposed to look at Lina’s house and deplore the impoverished conditions? It would go for at least 3,000,000 pounds in today’s property market?

Is Catherine being particularly classist again with ‘Why u not becoming a butcher Wolsey, ey?’. 

Though I will admit the ‘but giving meat to the poor is also good’ was one of her only smart comebacks.

Just realised, Catherine’s pink dress pretty as it is, looks straight out of the 1570s... why?

Montage and After:

You guys are right, there is this weird longing between Henry and Wolsey lmao. It is actually insane.

So basically Catherine is officially depressed

OOOFF we have Stafford as regent instead of Catherine. (edit: I suppose it’s cause they go to France which they didn’t historically? Also if Stafford is at home then what is his son later doing in France, why would he be there without his father. This show didn’t think this through)

Meg Singing:

An impassionate speech is not too anachronistic. But despite the title of this post (what hasn’t been said) I will reiterate that 16th century and Medieval people’s problem wasn’t that they were ashamed of their grief and didn’t cry. In fact, crying was somewhat more socially acceptable then than it even is now! Even manly men like Arthur were written as crying in literature such as Malory’s Morte d’Arthur. Obviously you couldn’t go overboard, but in truth crying was indeed often too performative rather than hidden too much behind doors.

Pole and More UWUWU in France and after:

I LIKE THIS INTELLECTUAL FLIRTING

It’s nice to see a depiction of romantic feelings between mature and level-headed subjects.

God Mary Tudor is so beautiful in this scene jesus. and the music when she was being presented was also very beautiful.

Maggie Pole getting given ‘a modest income’ yeah... she was one of the wealthiest peers of her day.

Also Maggie’s lady cousin not lady aunt Frost!

‘shaking of the sheets’ lmaoooo

William Compton cracks the hell out of me. I love this guy. He is just so creepy and twisted yet super keen and friendly. ahaha He looks like a riot, I hope we see him more. lmao tiles.

Also this palace feels very anachronistic almost 18th century-ish.

I like the Louis and Mary sequence, it’s nice seeing him trying to make her feel less scared, but OMFG when he lay on that chair.. for one second I thought they were trying to kill him off already.

Scotland: ‘Love is an open doooooorrrrr’ + Last Scene:

I ship Meg and Douglas ahhhh this soft boi x strong woman match is everything Henry and Catherine could have been.

I wonder... why is Lina speaking in Spanish more than Catherine. hmmm Are they trying to foreshadow Lina’s eventual return home and how Catherine become a true englishwoman?

Conclusion:

7.5/10

I cannot in all fairness believe it. This was actually decent. I’ve given up on historical accuracy long ago so by this point I’m focusing more on how it stands as as drama. I mean, TWQ was also a flop when it came to grasping the complex issues of that era but why do I feel compelled to rewatch it every year? Because it had atmosphere when it came to acting, music, certain aesthetics (though the costumes let me down often). It felt adequately gothic and dark, yet bright and jewel-lish when it had to be, sometimes both at the same time. Some one-liners were also memorable etc...

So far TSP 2 did not have any of this. Everything felt way too off and anachronistic. But not even consistently anachronistic. The music was also often very meh (though I just noted the absence of the spanish stringy theme that kept playing in season 1 - I guess I understand why), the dialogue very clichéd (‘alright lads let’s throw in the words: king, crown, power, fight, battle + other buzzwords and we have ourselves Shakespeare’) and so on... but I saw a change in this episode and I couldn’t initially point out what it was.

Upon rewatch, I identified some of the improvements (noted above) but above all: The producer was different! Boy does it show. Unfortunately, I think she is only for this one episode which really sucks. Come back! There is more chemistry between the couples, less predictable interactions, pervy Compton, cinnamonroll Douglas, better music, more scenic shots (e.g Douglas and Margaret in church) e.t.c. I hope it will match the rest of the STARZ productions in getting better towards the end.

Look it’s no masterpiece. But I’ll give credit where it’s due because at least this time it didn’t leave me feeling wanting and unsatisfied (if that makes sense).

#the spanish princess #the spanish princess 2 #lady plantagenet's series reviews #catherine of aragon #henry viii #mary tudor queen of france #margaret tudor #charles brandon #margaret pole