#sorry i have nothing more interesting to show than my neighbors houses haha | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

selfcareparker · 3 years

Note

(lovely anon) i'm so happy to finally be answering this oh my goodness hi gorgeous human being i feel that it has been too long 🥲 SO MUCH HAS HAPPENED SINCE THE LAST TIME I'VE WRITTEN ONE OF THESE HOW HAVE YOU BEEN

to answer the things you have said most recently- i'm so mad that spring break is over bc now i have to go back to life??? like dancing and school and shit that feels so unnessacry 😭 and like i can't just do nothing anymore? i was so used to it and now...... ugh. i STILL haven't played sims (i think it's because ✨depression✨ be hitting sometimes) lol but MWAHAH IM SO HAPPY FOR YOUR NEIGHBOR!AU AND THAT THEY HAD LITTLE BABY LEO!! i feel the name thing.. i just come up with something that sounds nice? i think leo is a nice name, it makes me think about lea michele and the fact that her son's name is Ever Leo but anyway. i don't name my sims after what i want to name my children irl either... idk why though. (i don't know why i'm telling you this but for boy names i love Liam🥰 and if i had twin boys i think i would do Liam and Peter though i am not married to the name Peter.... anywho)

LMAOOO the therpaist coming made me laugh thank you :)) i hope it's helpful? this may be tmi but i've only really had negative thoughts recently and not many healthy outlets so i'm hoping crossing one thing off this sad list will make me feel better :') i think during spring break my anxiety and my depression really spiked? idk, it comes in episodes but yeah THIS GOT REALLY SAD

i think a lot of things when i read your posts but i never say them hahaha so imma say it now: i googled what bon appetit meant ( i also just had to google how to spell it ) but ur right, i feel like bone apple tea makes more sense than bone apple teeth.. the "th" is throwing me off bc how i say it bone appa (like app-a) teet (like you're saying tit but teet lol) so bone apple tea makes more sense to me lol

i never know really know the time difference for anything lmao but est to germany (that's not gmt is it?) is like 6 hours wOAH so it's like 9pm while it’s 3pm here? wowee

i feel mega weird after watching this show called hollywood (darren criss is in it, so is laura harrier and a bunch of other people) but i don't like it💀 i feel really icky rn and idk why but reading your last response to my ask (?) always makes me feel better :')

i am doing what you said btw, i'm typing this on my computer first then gonna transfer it to my phone's tumblr lol but when you said a digital detox, it's interesting cuz i feel like i've been having one since tom's new project was announced? gOD i don't wanna get into it bc i get so triggered but i've been off of instagram since then bc instagram stans literally stand by tom through whatever even when something ain't right- i’m just gonna leave it there bc i’ll continue the rant, but yeah so i took a break lol

also heard abt your driving lesson thing (?) was it that bad? i can't find the old post but someone asked if you hooked up with your lesson person and i was sOOO CONFUSED LMAOO LIKE OK ARIA GET SOME BUT UHH HUH?

now to address the actual response HAHA the way you touch my heart :') by :') bringing :') up :') halle :') being ariel :') (i honest to God don't remember if i brought this up first, forgive me if i did, it's been a minute lmao) i'm always talking about it and i'm pretty sure my family is so tired of me talking about it lmao, but YEAH when i found out they weren't twins i was so surprised but idk why i always thought they were twins? but YOU ARE SPEAKING MY LANGUAGE WITH THE DISNEY TALK- everyone is always like "tiana is my favorite princess" and yea she's strong and stuff but...... she was a frog. for almost the whole time. it's about time we got another one!! i do agree with some people on the fact that disney should just make another black princess but halle is adorable and i was ariel on stage so it's already really special to me :')

yeah lol there are good times with my brothers but they make me mad for a good portion of the time (there's the 12yo vincent and the 7yo daniel but vincent??? psshhh he is a piece of work and i'm not sure how much longer i can put up with him HAJAH AND YES VINCENT IS THE ONE WHO WAS 👁👄👁WHEN I CRIED AND THE ONE WHO DOESN'T LISTEN TO MUSIC- writing this now makes it sound like vincent is awful. which he isn't... we're working on him ig. not to add to the awfulness but no, he listens to obnoxious loud VIDEO GAME MUSIC and won't stop when we ask him to stop... he gets beat up a lot) anyway i imagine being an only child is really calming.. like you have time to yourself and its just you and your parents 😌

yeah let me know if you end up watching it (wandavision)! i think it's great but if you like it lmk!! tfatws is sooo good like PHEW i am honestly loving it. sidenote: j*hn w*lker makes me wanna jump through the screen and choke him to the ground. i was thinking right, and the falcon and the winter soldier (THATS SO MUCH EASIER FAJHKDAH) would techinally be like a 10 hour movie right? because every episode is an hour long and there'll be 10 episodes? like wow. i get what you mean though, abt the racism in the show etc, like looking forward to it but not like..... no i get what you mean i will not try and give another example lol but you make me wanna learn more languages like really badly (bc of what you said about the german to american translation) & if you end up watching hamilton PLEASE LMK ABT THAT TOO HAHAHA i love it so much, same thing with lion king lmaoo

speaking of germany, i was at lunch on saturday with my mom and her friend and we were talking about my schooling and like-- she planted this idea in my head lol like what if i just got my GED and went around the world (to england probably) to get a theatre experience??? and i think it sounds so cool but no where near practical lol, it's just..... the dream haha and i would then try and learn a language 😉

uh yes we absolutely should order basically a resturant meal at a cinema, how about burgers, chips (fries), and a large drink? any time next week works for me, should i pick you up?

also about cherry (which i still haven't watched yet lol) i got the timestamps from tumblr😌 i couldn't find them anywhere else, but i agree, i probably wouldn't even look twice at cherry if tom wasn't in it? like i liked tdatt a lot, but it's not a movie i would be itching to see ya know?

HAHAHAHA THE 24 HOUR NOTIFICATION- i think i have around 1030 hours on sims? but i've had it since 2019 lmao (reading the screenshots, yes u are 100% a genuis, i take screenshots too but on anon you can't upload them so i just read them and retype what i wrote lmao) i think the university experience in the game is fun, but time consuming and it's all work imo. idk why i do it so often tho 😭😭😭

and agreed!! when you're making good money in the game you have to find other ways to make it interesting. my cousins who play it just continously do "motherlode" and i'm like.... then what do you do in your game?? it just sounds boring to me... my current sims household, i had a famous comedian sim, her name was dylan, aND SORRY IM LAUGHING SO HARD WHILE WRITING THIS BC ITS A GREAT EXAMPLE OF THE UNI THING UNLESS IM JUST DUMB, she went to college for communications when i wanted her to be a comedian and when she graduated i realized that degree did nothing for the career 🥲 so yeah, i think i'm just dumb. but she had a kid in college, guy didn't stick around and she was pretty broke HA but then she got married to this (great) guy named steve, made good bank, had 5 more kids (two sets of twins and one more lol) but then she passed. uhm... yeah that's still an open wound . lol i'm kidding, but when you get rich like that, you have to find a way to make the game interesting and i chose a million kids.

(this was one giant paragraph until i broke it up uhh yeah) i seriously don't pay attention to the sims prices and just end up spending way too much money and not being able to finish the rest of the house😭 but then again, i'm so used to having sims live in apartments... if i end up building a house FIRST OF ALL it'll look like what you explained before lmao but i'll tell you if i actually end up building a house HAHA & planning out your sims game is so fun to me lol, did enisa and michael take in his daughter yet? i may be thinking too far ahead lol and i love that they fucked woohooed (i say woo woo lol) in celebration HAHA but when i was playing with this one couple i had them woo woo every night hoping the dude would have horrible pull out game and they would concieve, but one night they were too tired and i was like why? get back in there man. if i was in college and lived with my partner we would be fucking every night homie. be grateful. i have been talking a lot about sims, and like you said: enough 💀 i just love this game a lot 😭😭

SORRY LAST THING i think the sims romantic and sexual stuff is so nice bc its what i want?? LMAO IDK like the whole hot tub thing you're talking about- puh lease ITS JUST NICE TO SEE OKAY

i'm reading the german section over again and i said aloud "my german friend is so cool" lol (i was saying that to my brothers & i know they don't care LMAO) (& i'm glad the uni zoom call went well!!) so on a form, in german, it could possibily say Einführungsveranstaltungsteilnehmer because you would be a participant to an introductory event? i swear german sounds so cool 😌 but i love reading your german lessons!! it's really interesting, most of the time my brain can't comprehend it tho?? like that word makes sense to you, but i need a translation. like to be able to look at that and know what it says.... its just appealing and seems so cool lol i kinda wanna write something out in german but i feel that google translate will fail me. während googeln "google übersetzen" mein Computer war so verdammt langsam und es fühlte sich einfach wie etwas Gutes auf Deutsch zu sagen. ich bin nicht sicher, welches Wort ist "fucking", aber ich mag es lmao (did it fail me like i thought it would??)

LMAOOO THANK YOU FOR BRINGING UP JUSTIN BC WHILE AT THE RESTURANT THEY PLAYED A JUSTIN SONG AND I IMMEDIATELY THOUGHT OF YOU AND THIS STORY😭 lol i was thinking it's depending on your age but not even that either... i really don't know.... but tom's fans are hollanders💀 i would consider myself one? he's the only person i'm really into like that (like a lot lol) so idk lmao (directioners 💔💔the pain is real)

LMAOOO (both of these paragraphs started off with “lmaooo” smh) "i like my men when they look like they are on the brink of death" PLEASE, i don't like pete's blonde hair... i just don't. i'm not sure if i wasn't watching the most recent snls but yea. my mom thinks he looks like trash, but i think he's okay? like he said staten island people just look like trash LMAO and I STILL HAVEN'T SEEN KING OF STATEN ISLAND GIRL I ALMOST FORGOT ABOUT THAT!! now i'm gonna make plans to watch it lmao, & yes agreed i find pete hot, don't ask why i really couldn't explain it to someone he's just .

my favorite songs from rex are from pony oh my goodness 🥺 anywho i'm gonna go eat cereal (i ended up eating bun and cheese instead) and listen to the Stormzy songs you recommended... aria. aria aria aria. i would like to thank you for introducing me to stormzy i- i don't have any words or any emojis to express HOW GOOD STORMZY IS. i hope he's popular in germany/the uk because i haven't heard of him but GURLLLL

one second - delicious i love it. it's really good. it’s not my favorite from the album, but its great.

superheroes - at first i played the non-explicit one (on accident) and wondered why the words weren't playing but i was reading them in the lyrics??? THIS ONE THOUGH??? IS THE BEST SONG I THINK I'VE EVER HEARD. i am so SO SO into black people empowering songs (like brown skin girl by beyonce) and this song???? PHEW I CRYYYYY ITS SO GOOD.... i was gonna quote some lyrics BUT THERS TOO MANY I LOVE, "i am young, black, beautiful, and brave" "black queen, you're immaculate, it's coming at the world, they ain't ready for your magic yet, and that was never your fault" THAT WAS NEVER YOUR FAULT- I ALMOST CRIED THIS SONG IS SO BEAUTIFUL (i played it twice lol)

lessons is another beautiful one, like its slow and it feels intimate and nurturing and just OO chefs kiss, beautiful . like you can feel the apology and the regret... it’s so good

own it - OWN IT OWN IT OWN IT IS AMAZING!! swear you would catch me dancing to this song, this song is so fucking good i cannot comprehend like this one might be my favorite for real... "it's the way you wind up your waist, i'm so in awe, you never have to worry abt nothing, you know its yours, you know you own it" 🥲 i played it two or three times honestly

rachael's little brother - YES I DID LISTEN TO IT LMAO AND YES I LIKE IT, its a very complex song and it's very layered in terms of emotions i think and i really like that about it. i probably won't listen to it that often, but its really good. i would recommend this song to my "older brother" bc he would just absolutely love this

shut up - i was taking this song seriously (also very good) until i heard him say shu-T up LMAO, this one is good, i probably wouldn't listen to it 24/7 like rachael's little brother but honestly its still fire

before listening to blinded by your grace and vossi bop, i know you brought up the religion bit, i definitely don't mind that, especially because i'm Christian lol and i actually liked that he brought up God in some of his songs like idk i just like it🥰🥰

(i then went to bed after that lol but first thing in the morning i listened to superheroes and... that song is probably my favorite tbh, i was gonna write MORE quotes that i loved from it but, yeah no there's too many. if you want i'll tell you lmao but this is already so long i would just be quoting the whole friggin song)

VOSSI BOP IS A BOP (lol) I CANT EVEN LIE, i love a song that hypes up a dude's girl so the line- i love that my phone decided to fail to load the lyrics, lemme google it, okay the lyric "looking at my girl like what a goddess" i was like AYEEE its honestly just really good. and no one in america says "sauce" like "i've got the sauce" but now i do (thanks to love island and Nas from last season) and now stormzy so (also im gonna watch the music video for superheroes bc it looks great so 😛)

(because this is already so long i feel like i shouldn't finish the rest but . no i'm gonna do it)

now for blinded by your grace pt2 idk why i’m nervous lmaoo PAUSE I'M NOT EVEN DONE WITH THE SONG GIRL THIS SONG IS *chefs kiss* no words, speechless PHEW y'all gon make me start jumping around. why did i not know about stormzy before, he is amazing i- ok yeah i finished the song, all i have to say is that Stormzy is immaclucate. period. i am literally sending his music to all my friends he is..... amazing

you want my song recommendations 🥺🥺 hmm uh okay lol i listen to a lot of old music, whitney houston, marvin gaye, queen, celine dion, i love "more than words" by extreme uhmm okay, but for actual music i listen to on the daily? (this is a lot of different music like.... they do not go together lmao so be prepared) a song about being sad by rex orange county, betty by taylor swift and lover by taylor swift and... most of that album lol, treasure by bruno mars lmao, OOOO and versace on the floor by bruno as well, lazybaby by dove cameron, creep by tlc has been on repeat lol, deja vu by olivia rodrigo (i saw what you said about drivers license and AGREED LMAO but i like deja vu a lot more haha) and two albums that i listen to in general, rare by selena gomez and ungodly hour by chloe x halle 🥰 you don't have to listen to all of them or any of them lol but that's a sense of what i'm into :) so basically everything haha, i'm into literally every single kind of music really so i wasn't too surprised that i enjoyed stormzy :’)

HAHASBSJHAHA your h20 story cracked me up,, like "wow these actors are so dedicated, learning german just for us" 😭 the beauty of overdubbing

once again, math and maths, in my mind maths makes sense because its mathmatics, but saying maths doesn't feel right to me lol, like if i said maths i feel like everyone would look at me like ??? and yea i was taught it as math so its just more natural for me. but yes math/maths is disgusting, easily one of my least favorite subjects so .

mkay. i- the first time i read this i could not contain my laughter when you said the only pollen you know is sex pollen LMAOKOOSHBABJFAJF STOPPP I'M EVEN LAUGHING WRITING THIS,, anyway. wow! that's interesting, my dad (<<< mostly anything else) gets migraines from the sun and the heat and stuff, yesterday (sunday, i was outside for like hours watching my brothers play football, the american kind lol) i was in the sun for like ever and i got a headache😔

summer clothes🥲 i need to go shopping fr fr. for my birthday my mom and dad got me a giftcard like dedicated to a shopping spree and we've yet to go so..... i should bring it up to my mom lol, but!! i went bra shopping (ended up returning literally all of them cuz they honestly didn't work for day to day work? its a long story) and if i could i would walk around in this new "summer bra" i got, i would. it's so fricking cute and its really light fabric (which isn't perfect for my nipples but still) so i don't get hot in it, but that bra and some shorts would be perfect. its the closest thing to being naked so

IS THE BIRD STILL BOTHERING U ARIA, TELL ME NOW ISTG, i laughed really hard that the bird isn't stupid and is really trying to torture you LMAOO like i was rolling, it wants you to suffer, badly

when you said "mensus" it was still close to mens!!! latin speaking queen 😌😌

okay STORYTIME i was reading back your response and started (fake) crying bc i love you lol and my youngest brother (daniel) gon say "oh man, catherine's crying about something we don't care about, again" I--- i swear when i tell you about them they sound awful, but they aren't that bad, just the stuff i say about them is sounds really mean LMAO

but the thing you said about being kind, same, what i always say is: don't be the person that makes people say "i hate people" ya know? like there's no reason to be a jerk or anything.... but its true 🥺🥺🥺🥺 you are really kind and every time i talk to you i would like to personally fly to germany and give you a hug 💖💕💞💗💓💝💖💘

& i'm gonna show my stretch marks some love bc of you 🥺😭 i really hate how men have basically everyone conditioned that you can't love your own body </3 fuck them, y'all beautiful :')

also thanks for what you said :')) you literally are the kindest, sweetest person i think i've ever spoken to and i love you 🥰🥺🥲💓💗

READING YOUR TAGS HAHAHHAHA the spelling errors makes everything so much funnier. once again, i like your german lessons & yea!! i'm gonna play sims after writing this hahah

#catherine's tags are back #i don't think i've told you my name before?? #anyway it's catherine🥰🥰🥰 #i'm typing this on my computer (without emojis) and if i didn't edit this you would be reading shit shite like #heartface and pout and cry LMAO #yeah abt the tattoos #some stuff with my parents i'm like deal with it??? lol #my mom tells me "if there's something you enjoy or you like but i don't have the same opinion on it... why would my (my mom's) opinion matter? #and i love that #like i'm not gonna go and do whatever i want #but if my mom doesn't like that i swear (which isn't true just an example) #its like okay.... #but whatever #and your tattoo ideas sound really cute!! #and yeah @ your parents, i mean you aren't getting something wild #and the tattoo album>>> #i'm gonna look up ariana's butterfly tattoos just so i know what you mean lol #but i'm guessing you don't want something so incredibily simple, but not super like over the top? #correct me if i'm wrong lol #LMAO the tags were in order don't worry ! #and yeah lol ily2 <33 #and once again, again, sorry for this post JSHJS ITS A MESS AND LONG AS HELL #and you don't need to go in order of my post its literally longer than your german compound words #u're fine #also !!! while writing this the birds were chirping outside and i was like 😳 #and one of your fics (i’ve read all of them, i don’t remember lol) that valentine’s day one where y/n had lingerie on (the pancake one lol) #inspired me to buy lingerie #like when i look back on me “growing up” #that fic & basically you lol really helped with that #that made no sense and i don’t know how to make it make sense... but... yeah. like ily

hiiiiiiiiiii <3333

Dear catherine, 😌

(you have said your name before, but it wasn‘t like an introduction or anything i think you were talking about .... was it possibly the incident at the cinema??? And you said something like ‘calm down catherine‘ like you were telling yourself to calm down idkd dkdkkdkd anyway i didn‘t mention it cause i wasn‘t sure if it was an accident or not dkdjd but now i know 😌❤️ Catherine is such a cute and lovely name btw omg and so are your brothers‘s names 🥰

Sorry that I‘m answering this so late, it‘s been an emotional rollercoaster for me since last week but i‘ll get to that in a second lol

Sksklssk girl i haven‘t played sims in like 2 weeks now ekejdkdlldld ok that‘s not that long at all actually but i keep wanting to play but then i end up not playing for whatever reason, so no news about my sims game 😔 but i love the names Liam and Peter and for twins!!! That sounds really nice actually

okay i‘m trying to answer your ask in chronological answer even though i wanted to wait for the depressing stuff and write it at the end or something OKAY so. i thought that i‘d feel so good when i start uni and that i‘ll like... have a purpose in life again and just be happy (cause in the last year i didn‘t do much and i was depressed like half of the time lol).... anyway i kind of feel even worse now? 😭 i think it‘s because in my brain it‘s like: university!!! that means your life will change and it‘ll all be so exciting. and don‘t get me wrong it is exciting butttt..... idk the online thing is so weird cause you‘re not meeting any new people (i‘m introverted anyway but still lol) and it doesn‘t feel like you‘re listening to/talking to actual people cause it feels the same as just watching a video?

also i thought i‘d be busy again but i only have one lecture (90mins) a day and theres one day where i dont have any lectures at all and just one day where i have 3 hours but.... idk i mean i shouldn‘t complain about having so much free time but i just don‘t know what to do all day and in a pandemic there really is nothing to do but i also can‘t relax bc it‘s like during the week and i know i have uni the next day and .... yeah.

There‘s also this one assignment i had to do that took me AT LEAST SIX HOURS AND IM NOT EVEN EXAGGERATING????? so that was the only thing i‘ve been doing besides “going to“ lectures. for this one course we have to read two (really really long) texts (like it literally took me 3 hours to read them) and we‘re supposed to post it on this website that all the professors in our uni use. So after 5 days of anxiety (✌🏼) i posted mine this morning bc last night i realised that i didn‘t even know why i was having anxiety so i just posted mine today. The deadline is tomorrow at 12 and no one except me has posted theirs yet........ so i have anxiety again 🥰 cause idk if i‘m the only one who did it or if i even did it correctly

Edit while i‘m rereading this: my anxiety about uni is a lot better and i‘m not as d*pressed anymore maybe it was just hormones? idk but i‘m better so that‘s good

(I started writing this like 5 hours ago and then i randomly completely forgot lol)

I‘m in a better mood now though so let‘s move on from that (oh wait also, i think i‘m gonna see if i can find a psychiatrist bc with my anxiety symptoms (long story) i need to go to a psychiatrist, and so far i‘ve only gone to like psycholgists and it didn‘t help but i think that‘s just bc i was meant to go to a psychiatrist and not a psychologist so dldjdjsj

n e ways but yes you‘re not alone, ily, things will get better and yes i love you (i‘m not good at this type of thing🥲 but i‘d hug you right now if i could <3)

Yess i think the time difference between est and me is 6hours but gmt is uk time i believe? i think mine is called.... cet? For central european time? I could be completely wrong though lmao

Oof i completely forgot about hollywood, i remember when laura kept posting about it on instagram but i never actually watched it and i definitely won‘t now lmaodkdksjsn

Okay my driving lesson LEBDJDKDK I DID NOT HOOK UP WITH ANYONE AKSJSKSMMLM especially not my 40 or 50 year old driving instructor lol i like her but NOT LIKE THAT, the lesson was really really really good actually and i think i‘ll have my driving test soon, but i don‘t even remember why the anon would have thought that??? Oh wait now i remember okay KEKSKDLDL so during the lesson my instructor was like do you mind if i turn on some music? AND THIS WOMAN TURNED ON ONE DIRECTION I LOVE HER so i made a post about it and i said something about the song up all night and i guess i phrased it in a .... idk in a dumb way 💀 so the anon made a joke that i stayed up with my driving instructor all night and NO. No.

Wait did i read that right? YOU WERE ARIEL ON STAGE? SIALDBDJDKSLMSBDKDMDMDKDJSLSMDJFJJEDMBFEKLEFBJDLDVSIDLESKSKWKDKDJDOWNYUEKWNDUWLNSUFLWVSUDLEHDOENSIDBEISBEHENJELBSIEMWUDNRIW KB WOBE JO ON SBEUU HIII S HWS LV W ICH US KB okay this keyboard smash is getting out of hand but uh please do elaborate on that 💘😌???? Like you can‘t just drop that information and not say more??? I forgot if you‘re in like your school‘s drama group (is that a thing? lol idk anything about acting) or in an independent group? Either way - ARIEL that is so fucking cool

Your brothers loooooool, no i get it though obviously you love them and stuff but esp at their age children are so annoying so good luck with them 😭😭😭lmao

Yeah “anyway i imagine being an only child is really calming.. like you have time to yourself and its just you and your parents 😌“ yeah just me and my parents who constantly fight 🥰 lmao no i like being an only child, like i cannot imagine having siblings but i feel like if i had siblings i would be saying that i can‘t imagine being an only child so? but i do think it‘s quite different like i‘m trying to imagine having siblings and WHAT that‘s just so different omg i‘ve never really thought about it like properly ???

I saw a tik tok the other day that was like “sometimes i forget that my siblings have a life of their own. like i see them as side characters in my life“ and even though i can‘t relate obviously i felt that. lol, like i can really imagine how it feels idk what i‘m talking about like shut the fuck up, daria

(also my actual name is daria not aria but i dont like it, and also i wanted to be more anonymous on tumblr so now i‘m aria lmao. pls don‘t mention it though cause no one knows except for you and mel (peterbenjiparker) dkdkdkdnkdnd. but i‘m starting to identify with the name cause everyone keeps calling me that looool😭😭😭 (but i like the name, more than daria anyway? well it also depends on the accent, cause the way germans say daria is okay. the was Americans say it is also okay, but some of my family in England are from the north of england and i don‘t like how they say my name 💀 no offence to them(?) but yeah pls don‘t mention the name in your ask cause the chance of people seeing it is higher then (or if you want to say something about it just send a separate ask and i just won‘t post it (IDK what you‘d want to say about my name but yeah just in case slsldlldmsndnsns)

I‘m loving falcon and winter soldier so much but when i was watching an episode the week before last week (?) my laptop broke😭😭😭😭 during the scene where the dora milaje came at the end my laptop just shut down? And it had these lines all over the screen and i had to bring it to the shop where i bought it and they said it‘ll take 6-8 weeks to repair 💔💔💔 but at least it‘ll be for free, cause if i brought it back to apple it would cost like 400€ (i think that‘s nearly 500$) so yeah. but it sucks cause now i‘m “going to uni“ on a really old rusty laptop and on my phone which kinda sucks. oh yeah and also i can‘t watch anything on there 😭 i definitely want to watch wandavision but it‘ll have to wait🤧

Yessss you should def get your GED! I googled and I‘m still not entirely sure what it is dldks but from how you described it- YES!!!!!!

Idk if you know this? Like no idea if I‘ve told you this already (hmmm wait i feel like we talked about it actually?) anyway i was originally gonna go study in England, but for loads of reasons I ended up staying in Germany and I‘m def happy with my decision, but I definitely want to go to England sometime even if it‘s just for six months or maybe for my masters or something? And (obviously everyone is different) but i think everyone should go abroad and live in a different country once in their life, no matter if it‘s for school or what, and even if it‘s just for a few weeks. But i think that‘s something that you‘d never ever forget! And combining that with your acting/theatre??? You really would be living the dream 💘💘😌

how about burgers, chips (fries), and a large drink? any time next week works for me, should i pick you up?— sounds good see you soon 🥰🥰🥰

i used to be one of the people who‘d just do motherlode motherlode motherlode and just... what did i do? Why did i do that??? But not anymore lol. Like I said i haven‘t played sims in a few weeks but i‘ve been watching a few legacy challenge let‘s plays and usually i play with the aging off. So my sims just don‘t age 💀 but i could (should) turn aging on so that it stays exciting and i have limited time and everything. and once i get bored with my current sims i can just make them have kids and continue playing as their children when they get older- like recently i remembered that i haven‘t played the acting career in ages? and i haven‘t had a shop in ages? and i think you can even become a vet right??? like those are definitely some things i want to do in the next weeks!!! Also yes sksksjs i have a few hundred hours on sims as well (if not thousands 😭) it was just that one household that i‘d been playing with for 24hrs

AND GIRL SSKSKJD THE UNIVERSITY THING HAPPENED TO ME TOO, it was a while ago so i don‘t remember what degree and what job it was about but i made my sim study something for aaaaaages so she‘d get a better job from the beginning (you know what i mean like get in at a higher level)...... and i apparently studied the wrong thing cause i didn‘t get any benefits from studying and still had to start at level 1 and shit 🥴🥲

Oh also (this was like 2 weeks ago) Enisa and Michael did take in Michael‘s daughter and i think Enisa currently even has a higher/better relationship with the daughter than Michael but um💀💀💀 also i was hoping (since michael and enisa married (in their back yard i think lol) that the daughter (i forget what her name is😭) would have enisa as her step mom? Like you know how you can see the relationship and it says daughter or son or sister.. and i was hoping that it would say step mom but it doesn‘t say anything 🥲 but in my mind (and if the sims had proper family relations) she is her step mom😌 also Leo is a teenager now???? I mean I aged him up lol dkdk he was being too annoying as a toddler but i don‘t like children so i aged him up twice in one day and now he‘s a teen, but that means he can look after his half sister when she becomes a toddler which is good (the game recognises them as siblings tho even if they‘re just half siblings? why can‘t they have step family members in the sims🥲) okay i‘ve annoyed you enough with sims ✋🏼

I‘ve been a bit sick these past few days and now i‘m getting a headache so i have to finish this response tomorrow 😭😭😭 </3

It‘s not tomorrow, it‘s 3 hours later but i‘m better lol

oooff when sims are ungrateful and won‘t woo woo (lol i like that) cause they‘re too tired like?? Be grateful that you‘re not living with your parents anymore 🙄 no okay dkdkdkdl idk if you play with mods (i don‘t) but i know there is a mod (or it‘s part of a mod idk maybe wicked whims?) where you can adjust the percentage of how risky a normal woo woo is, like you still click woo woo (3dksksks okay i‘ll say woohoo again— wait is that what’s it called? 😭) but there‘s like a 25% chance that your sim can still get pregnant just like in real life there‘s always a chance of getting pregnant even if you‘re using protection (just not 25% lmao) but yeah i personally don‘t play with mods sksk and you can always just click try for baby but it would be cool if you could add stuff like risky woohoo to the game without mods (i have no idea how to download mods and i play sims on a really really old laptop and sims is literally tje only thing that works on it anyway so—) i repeat my words from earlier: okay i‘ve annoyed you enough with sims ✋🏼

okay i‘m so sorry i‘m gonna watch fast & furious 1 now cause i need to watch f&f 1-5 until the 30th of april cause they‘re only on netflix til then (i mean i could watch them somewhere else but the quality is never as good) so i will finish this tomorrow after all😭

it is now 1 am, i finished the film, can feel a new obsession coming up again (i always have these f&f obsessions for six months before and after a new film comes out)

THE GOOGLE TRANSLATE wkekdjdj tbh it sounds like someone is speaking with some kind of foreign accent i guess that‘s probably because it just is a direct translation and so anyway slsjsj i don‘t know if you asked me what the word fucking is in german? like idk cause the translation is a bit weird but in case you asked lol sidjsjs theres not really a good translation like we just say fuck for fuck lmao, i don‘t know if you typed in fucking in google translate and it came out as verdammt? cause that means damn (or damned sksjjs) ummm yeah idek if/what you asked so imma move on🤧

I‘m not gonna comment on what you said about every stormzy song cause you already said all the important things but SKSKSJSJSKNSNDBDUDOENWBSLSKKHSULSLSKSBSJSKSK I WAS SMILING SO HARD WHEN I READ YOUR RESPONSE FOR THE FIRST TIME BECAUSE AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH finally i know someone who loves him as much as i do 💘💘💘 also since you brought it up, i‘m pretty sure he‘s considered the most successful UK rapper or if not then at least top 3 so he‘s defffffffffinitely big in the uk, in germany more and more people are listening to uk rap too but not as much stormzy cause theyre dumb apparently 🙄 but anywY i‘m sooooo sooo happy that you like him. i think hith came out end of 2019 (i could be wrong but i think it came out on the 13th of december so (in a european way) you‘d write the date: 13.12 and obviously i don‘t KNOW this but i can definitely imagine that he chose that date because ACAB and yes, Michael. Yes. But he hasn‘t made too much music since then so i hope he‘s working on some new stuff 🤞🏼

Also i ordered the stormzy poster😌 also a nicki minaj one bc i decided i‘m gonna have one wall with red-ish posters (i already have two kinda red ones) and one with blue/green-ish posters (already have two) and i can add stormzy to the blue one and nicki to the red one, but i think that‘s it cause if my walls are tooo full it could look cluttered? I‘m not sure how that type of thing works lmao but my room is generally untidy so i don‘t want the walls to look unorganised too so i think that‘s it for now

I really want to finish this now but my brain is getting kinda slow and i need to sleep soon so this will have to wait till later after all 🥺🥴 (not that it makes and difference to you bc you‘ll see this whenever i post it buttttt i wanted you to know that i want to talk to you again but with my slow brain i‘m just taking too long to do it in one day😭😭😭 and i‘m so busy tomorrow hmm but i‘m sure i‘ll have 30 minutes to finish this then <3)

Okay wait I‘m so dumb I didn‘t realise I‘d nearly answered everything i could have posted this yesterday 😭😭

Oooohh that summer bra sounds so nice like if i was confident enough i literally would just wear a top that resembles a bra (or really is a bra lol) cause my tiddies always be looking amazing i‘m just insecure about my stomach sometimes 🙄🙄🙄 but recently i‘ve been loving myself more and more tbh 😌

also i hope you can go shopping for some nice clothes soon ✨😌

I‘ll be honest I haven‘t listened to your song recs YET but only because i wanna take my time with them and i‘ve been so busy and slso AJ tracey‘s album came out last week and I haven‘t listened to that one yet either so ekdkdj (he‘s also a uk rapper like quite popular and successful as well, but i feel like i‘m not gonna like his album cause whenever i‘m looking forward to an album it ends up being really bad and the albums where you weren‘t expecting it turn out to be bangers.... so yeah but i‘ll let you know when i listen to your songs!!!! :)

Omg i keep having to scroll up all the way to see the next thing you said so sorry if I completely miss some of the things you said😭😭

So when you sent this the bird was still bothering me oh my FUCK DKDLDMMDMDMD but now i‘ve been going to bed at like 1-2am so the bird is probably still asleep lool

Okay and for the rest of your ask my response is: 💘💖❣️💚❣️💛❣️💛💕💞❤️💓💟💞💕💕💖💘💝💟💟🧡❤️🧡💞💛💚💓💚💚💚❣️🧡💖💘🧡💝🧡💕💘🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥺🥺🥺🥰🥺🥺💘💘💘💘💘 (okay that looked cuter in my head i don‘t really like the green hearts dldkkdksndnd)

#lovely anon #<3333333333333 #‚‘it‘s literally longer than your german compound words‘ LMAODKDMSLDKSLKS #ignore the comma at the beginning of the last tag????#aww wait i just read what you said at the end of your tags🥺🥺💘💘💘#love youuuu #ooooof i‘m reading my response and do i not know what a period is? like period as in. full stop.#my sentences are literally paragraphs and i use keyboard smashes to separate sentences from each other like what‘s wrong with me???#or ‚lol‘ snd ‚lmao‘#imma need me to do better (did you listen to heavy is the head as a whole? like the whole album? the song do better is stuck in my head toda #today so)#i‘ll try to write normal length sentenced in the future💀#sentencessss*

6 notes · View notes

painandpleasure86 · 4 years

Text

My new neighbor it's my crush (Deazzello week 2020)

Author's note: Hi people! I'm participating of this ship week hosted by @roger-taylors-car ❤️ I took the prompt "Neighbors" and kinda the one "First time" from day 2. First fic of this ship that I post! (I have a drabble from Christmas that I never posted lol)

Summary: the Mazzellos are now neighbors of the Deacon. The life of some of them it's about to change.

Warning: none. Just Joey and John being cute.

Word count: +1.6k

Permanent taglist: @warriorteam1924 @toomuchlove-willkillyou (sorry if you aren't comfortable with this ship! You can ignore this fic without problems). If anyone wants to be in my permanent taglist, send me an ask or msg! Warning: I haven't a fic posting schedule :/ lol

--------------------------------------------

Next to John's house, will have some new neighbors soon. They're a family from USA. The man and his wife were planning to open a dance studio in UK, after the success of their ones in USA. They thought that Europe would be a great new horizon to explore. With the couple came one of their offspring, the young Joseph. He was just 21 years old and he helped to their parents in the studio, also he was trying to have an acting career. He had straight red hair, green eyes and a wide smile in his face. He wasn't so tall, but he was thin. He could be the funniest one but also the most serious man when it's necessary.

------------

Was a strangely sunny Saturday in the south of London when the move truck came near to his house. Just for mere curiosity, was to see through his porch. Meanwhile he was smoking a cigarette, with the another hand in his pocket and watching all, came mister Joseph to greet him.

"Oh hello sir. I'm Joseph and we came with our family to live for a while in London" he greeted him, extending his left hand through the railings.

"I'm John. Nice to meet you sir" replied him shaking hands.

After a couple of minutes where the men were talking, the young Joseph came there and he exclaimed so happy "HI MISTER IM JOE!"

His happiness was contagious for John, he smiled, even laughed a little. Joseph was upset.

"Hi Joe, I'm John", he responded with a wide smile.

After that, recognized who were him. That eye crackling was special. That soothing voice too.

"DAD YOU KNOW WHO IS HE?!?! HE'S A ROCK STAR!"

John laughed, half being nice and half uncomfortable.

His father saw to his son pretty upset.

"Joseph, I know who is him! Now, go and help to the movers. Surely will have opportunity to you to chat with him… of course if he wants" ended watching to the bassist.

"Of course, one day you and your family can come for tea time!" he said kindly.

Ronnie was watching the scene and decided to approach to it.

She exclaimed "oh, you're the new neighbors. I'm Veronica, but you can call me Ronnie".

Joseph shaked hand with the mistress just smiling politely. When was Joe's turn, he said "nice to meet you Ronnie. I'm Joe! Oh, lemme tell ya, you're pretty!"

Ronnie blushed a little for the unexpected compliment.

Ending the hand shake, she added "you're so sweet Joe!" Watching to John, she said "we should invite to this men and the rest of their family one day!". Her husband nodded and she, watching to the another men, told "tomorrow at 5 o'clock suits fine to you?"

The American men nodded, Joe pretty excitedly. He loved to meet new people, and more if it's one of his music idols.

When the Mazzello men came back to the move, Joe exclaimed "Dad why you didn't told me that we would be deaky's neighbors?!"

Joseph watched to his son very serious.

"Joe, really you ask that? You acted like a fan! That man it's also a person, he deserves more respect!"

Joe stayed in silence.

His father continued talking.

"Tomorrow, behave please. Act like an adult."

"If act like an adult it's always being boring, I prefer to be a teen forever!" said Joe pissed.

-------

After a long day, Joe could rest in his room. He puts his old Queen posters and one of John closer to his bed. He wanted to be in that tea thing, but more for the man that will be the host. That 40-ish old man, with white-ish hair and simple clothes still make things to him. Perhaps more than when he discovered that pics with the white jumpsuit. That pics with the I want to break free video and song were his sexual awake. He recognized that he wasn't a straight boy.

"I really want to hug him at least… feel that arms around me would make me happy" he thought , watching to the roof. A deep sigh escaped of him. A wide smile in his face.

Imagining romantic scenarios with that man made him sleep deeply, despite the remaining jet lag.

John was trying to sleep and that redhead boy came to his mind. "Deaks, not that again… you love your family. Indeed you have a son that's near to the age of that guy. Don't be impulsive. What would happen if that guy it's straight or he just was nice? Try to sleep please" he was thinking. He was having an internal debate and that was noticeable to the outside. Ronnie noticed that.

"John, are you okay?"

He couldn't be fully sincere, so he lied partially.

"I think that was pretty impulsive to let to that people come to our house… Isn't my style"

She watched to him "relax John, was so nice from you. Plus they look like a kind people".

John, trying to be funny, said "oh that's why the guy told a compliment to you, when you looks like a living disaster…" and smiled.

Ronnie didn't liked that joke and when she was about to respond, Cameron started to cry in the next room.

"Cam saved you this time John".

And he was alone with his own thoughts.

"Better of that way…" he thought meanwhile his wife was to lull to their baby.

-----------------

Sunday Afternoon came and no one was lazing. Ronnie and John, meanwhile preparing the things for the tea time and care of their youngest children. Elder ones, were pissed for the visit. Except Laura. "A boy in the house that aren't my brothers, I hope that he looks cute" thought smiling the girl, meanwhile she was doing her outfit.

Her mom saw her and told to the girl "Laura, the guy haves like 20 years and you're only 14…"

"Don't care mum. Perhaps in some years we can be together…"

"Laura, you didn't saw him and you're already planning that kind of things… real life isn't like the movies"

"I SAID DON'T CARE MUM! LET ME BE HAPPY. YOU BETTER GO AND TAKE CARE OF LUKE AND CAM!" screamed the girl, really pissed.

"Behave Laura. You can't talk to me like that! One more of that and you will not have your new walkman to your next birthday!" and the woman was downstairs.

The little girl didn't suspected that also her father was interested in that guy. That chance never passed for her mind. Like her mom said, real life isn't like the movies shows. And was about to witness that, without knowing.

The Mazzellos were preparing their outfits. Joe one was a beautiful black shirt, denim jeans, white sneakers and wearing his favorite parfum. His mother saw him and told "Joey, why that parfum? That one it's for special occasions"

"Mom, we will have tea time with him, that isn't enough reason?"

His mom smiled.

"Haha, I forgot how much you love that band and that man… as a musician of course. I hope you don't misunderstood me!" and leave to her son alone.

Meanwhile, he was putting in practice his acting lessons to rehearsal how to say his feelings to that man. His mirror was the witness. And he forgot the door slightly open...

His dad caught him saying "I really love you since a lot of time…" to the mirror and he hawked to make notorious his presence.

"Joe, practice your script for the audition in the night, now it's time for the tea with the neighbors".

"Yeah, script… was the script of my own life that I was practicing" thought the boy.

--------------------------

The moment came. The tea time was there.

Both families around the table of the living room, starting to have a nice time. Robert, Michael and Joshua were pretty upset. Laura was happy. "That guy looks so beautiful. It's so cute!" she thought meanwhile she greeted him. Same thing was thinking her dad…

In some moment of the tea time, Joe asked for the bathroom. Ronnie pointed the guest bathroom. Moments later, John get up of the couch with the excuse to bring more muffins.

Meanwhile Joe was going to the living, saw John in the kitchen. "It's now or never Joey" thought.

The redhead was in John's direction.

"Mister… can I ask you something?"

Leaving the tray with muffins, John said "go ahead man" and smiled. That sweet smile that Joe always loved.

Joe blushed a little.

"Can I hug you?"

John was surprised for that question. But also kinda happy.

"Of course" and he extended his arms.

Both hugged. Joe embraced to the old man tight.

And remembering his acting classes to cover his fear, he whispered something to the ear of the man. "I like you. But not like a musician. Thank you for I want to break free, because I knew what really I want… a man like you".

John had his answer. And responded, kinda nervous, in Joe's ear "you're a cute boy. I wanna know you more".

They left the embrace and watched to the another one smiling. When Joey was about to give a kiss in the cheek of John, Laura came to the kitchen.

"What the fuck?!"

"I was about to hug your dad! He's my idol, y'know" Joe replied, winking an eye to the girl.

"Oh sorry!" she exclaimed, blushing a little. And watching now to her dad, she continued "Mum sent to me because you were delaying a lot, dad!".

The men had another hug, but this one was less tighter.

The three were going to the living. Laura in front of them. John watched mischievously to Joe for a moment and made that smirk.

The three already in the living again. The men pretending like nothing unusual happened. But both of them knew that their lives changed since that moment. And they were prepared to live something that they really wanted…

---------

Guys, I hope that you like this!!! Reblogs are highly appreciated!!!

-Lily

#painandpleasure86 posts #painandpleasure86 fics #deazzelloweek2020 #deazzello #deazzello fic #joe mazzello #john deacon #veronica tetzlaff #deaklings #laura deacon #queen fic #queen fics #deaky fluff #queen fanfiction #queen fanfic #queen fluff #borhap #borhap boys

26 notes · View notes

datingintampafails · 4 years

Text

Chapter 8: Peter*

Ironically, it was very easy to pick out a fake name for this guy because of the journey I am about to bring you on, in which this was a name that was relevant during this date. This is a long entry despite this date being the only one, and only maybe two hours, simply because it has thus far been the worst date I have ever been on in my life, and I remember every damn detail.

Sometimes when I’m on Bumble, I get in really weird moods where if it looks like the guy isn’t going to respond to my message (they have 24 hours to respond or they disappear), then I will put in a snarky comment as the clock ticks just to make myself feel vindicated. When I picked my opening message to Peter*, I chose to do a pick-up line, which is something I never do.

Peter* looked a lot like Dr. Chase from House, that is, Australian, blonde, blue eyes, good looking. Therefore my message went like this: “I have a really bad pick-up line if you’d like to hear it.” After it became hour 23, I was like ok it’s snarky time. Simply put, I said, “whatever you’re missing out.” LO and behold the dude finally responds and says “Lol ok go ahead.”

Now it is my time to shine. I say “Wow ok now the pressure is on. Here goes,” “Part One: Are you Australian? Part Two: because I’d go down under for you.” He laughs or whatever and goes into just talking. He asks if I want to come over to watch a movie that night and I’m feeling spontaneous so I say sure, but preface that despite my dirty pick-up line that I’m not interested in a hookup situation.

He seems still interested so I discuss with him that I am going to cook dinner for myself and because it is a meal kit, that he would be doing me a favor by sharing the meal with me and eating it. So I cook the meal and bring the pot of pasta over to his place, which is in St. Petersburg, which is about 30 minutes and across a bridge.

He gave me instructions to pull up in front of his apartment complex and that he would meet me out there to help me find parking. He definitely over complicated things as there was street parking that was easy to find on the other side of the building to where I pulled up. He comes to my car and gets in and immediately I can smell smoke. I’m like great, that’s not super attractive but I’m here, let’s just see how this goes. We park and he holds the food and we go to his place.

He warns me that his place is messy; however, I’m thinking like everyone says that, it’s just a thing people say when they don’t have a pristine home that is perfectly maintained, which can only be achieved if you have a daily maid service or you legitimately have severe OCD. When I walk in the door, a wave of smell hits me. The predominant smell was definitely that of weed. The kitchen sink was a mountain of dishes and I honestly didn’t want to make direct eye contact with it as it would give me anxiety. He asks me if the place smells and I say that it smells like weed. He asks if I smoke and I say not my thing, but I don’t care what other people do. This is true, but I still expect people to be on their A-game for a date…. More on that later.

It was a studio apartment, and so everything was there. I had to use the bathroom but was afraid to see how bad the bathroom may be based on everything else. I would later hold my pee literally until I got home hours later. I asked if he could find some clean silverware and plates.

His buddy from out of town had slept over, I guess, the night before, so the futon was still flat. So on this date, I am put to work to help him fold it back into a couch. It was a struggle and took like 3 minutes, so afterward I sat on the couch while he searched for clean utensils. I was charged with picking out a movie. This in itself was a difficult mission. I went to his Hulu account, none of the profiles said his real name. I had to ask, “Peter*, which account is yours?” He is clueless. He finally says oh it’s the one that says Peter (not his real name, actually Peter), thus why I chose Peter for his name for the purposes of this memoir. He says it’s his ex’s account and I’m like “oh… ok, does she know you still use the account?” and he says she doesn’t. Nothing is good on Hulu so I swap to Netflix. Keep in mind the guy is still searching for something clean for us to eat with. Now on Netflix, none of the names are his; again, I ask which profile is his. This time it’s “Mark.” I’m done asking questions. I don’t even want to know at this time. So I choose the movie Get Him to The Greek. It’s funny and not that long so I picked it.

Five minutes after beginning his search, he is still looking for anything clean. Bro couldn’t even find plastic silverware. He emerges finally with a serving spoon and those measuring cup keychain packs and two paper plates. He hands me the serving spoon. I am thinking, “what the fuck is this.” So I use my serving spoon to put the food on each plate and start the movie. I struggle to eat this butternut squash ravioli with a giant ass spoon, and he’s wolfing down his food with literally a measuring cup. At least he doesn’t smack his mouth when he eats, I think.

Already I’d say this is going pretty terrible. Fifteen minutes into the movie, he gets up and gets something from a desk. Peter* cracks open his window and he starts smoking weed like right in front of me. I don’t say shit. All I know is that I cannot wait for this movie to be over so I can leave. He returns to the couch and decides now he’s gonna be cuddly. I just kinda let him put his arm around me but I don’t really do much else.

I try to get a conversation going but the dude is straight-up stoned. We were talking about something or another and he started a follow-up question. “What are you…” then he trails off. I give him a solid minute then say “What are you… what?” He’s like “huh?” I say, “Well you started to ask me a question and then stopped after those three words…” He says “Oh…. I have no idea. Hah.” I think my soul left my body at this point.

More of the movie goes over. He goes to smoke again. He returns to the couch. He sits far away from me. Suddenly, and I mean suddenly, he leans super far over and tries to kiss me. I swiftly lean the other direction and let out a sort of “ehhhhhhh” noise. He still manages somehow to kiss my cheek, which is better than my mouth because I am not into it. I have no idea why he thought that was a good idea. I think we were in different dimensions. Shortly after that, I mentioned, “I think after this movie ends I’m going to go home. I’m tired and my dog needs me.” Not necessarily a lie. I was tired and my dog does need me.

The movie finally ends, he asks if I’m going to eat the rest of the food or if he could have some. I say I think I will eat the leftovers for lunch, but at this point, he’s already dipped his measuring cup into the pot and grabbed a couple of ravioli. He says, “oh ok I won’t take more then.” Especially with people I am not comfortable with, I am weird about people using used utensils on food. So immediately I knew that I was actually going to throw the remainder out since he just touched them with his used whatever.

He then puts on his shoes and goes to show me the way out of his apartment complex. He runs into one of his neighbors and they make small talk. I am mortified and just cannot wait to get out of this place. We come out of the elevator, and he walks me towards where I had pulled my car up to meet him, AKA the wrong side. As we’re walking to the door I passively mention this is the wrong side, “Oh this is the front of the building.” We walk out of the doors and he says drive safe bye and gives me an awkward side hug. I stand there like, what an ending to this rollercoaster ride. At this point, I don’t even give a fuck. I know where I am and I walk to my car, get in, and drive as fast as I can to get home.

I arrive home and my phone dings; a text from Peter*. It says “Shit I’m so sorry.” At this point, the apology could be for any number of things so I simply reply “? I just got back home” He says “OK just walked you out the wrong side not a huge deal just thought you were parked on that side lol nevermind.” I say, “hahahahahahahahaha you just realized?” All the haha’s because I am just in such disbelief that this man was so stoned that he walked me out the wrong side.

He says, out of order “Glad you got home goodnight :)” and “I did lol.” I decide to passively tell him he is a dumbass, “I kinda said something I was like oh this is the front ok.” He comes back with a non sequitur, “I am a tad weird I understand that lol”

I never speak to or hear back from him again, thankfully. I hope he was embarrassed. I hope he knows how terrible that date was. I’m glad I didn’t even HAVE to ghost him or tell him he needed to fuck off. I will never forget this whole chapter.

#bumble #tinder #dating #tampa #hinge #stpete #tampabay #clearwater

4 notes · View notes

szopenhauer · 4 years

Text

What would you call your body type? hourglass? vase? chubby yet underweight? worse version of Juno Temple’s body? petite?

When is the next time you’ll be at work? when I’ll have a job lol

Are you good at wrapping gifts for others? am not, thx for gift bags!

Do you have a dirty clothes hamper in your room? besides pajama I put all my dirty clothes into laundry bin

Do you enjoy big holiday dinners? no

Is your vision good? yes

Is there any piece of jewelry you’re constantly wearing? recently - necklace from my gf

Is your present hair color, natural? it is

What makes you the most angry when it comes to people? where should I start...

Have you ever felt as though you were drifting apart from a best friend? yeah, and I did, more than once/one person

Have you ever worn color contacts? I haven’t worn any contacts

What’s the best thing about a hug? dunno

Do you buy your friends gifts? sure

What color headphones do you own? light blue

Have you ever shopped on Urban Outfitters? I wish but home stuff, not clothes

Would you rather wear necklaces or earrings? my ears ain’t pierced

Do you enjoy watching fights? in action movies?

Have you ever been in a physical fight? I’ve been hit/punched/slapped

Do you tend to talk badly about people? I complain about people often

Where are your parents as of now? my dad’s working and my mom is calling him from their room, I turned music on to not listen to their conversation even tho my head hurts a bit

Does your computer cooperate most of the time? pfft

Does your family have any cheesy traditions? hmm...

Are you wearing make up at the moment? obviously not

Favorite television channel? I don’t watch TV

Describe the worst day of your life: ugh...

Name something that’s your favorite color: lime, sun, darkness

Do you judge by appearances? kinda

Do you follow a certain religion? Christianity

What are you most self conscious about? I’m insecure in general

Do you have any family members who live out of town? yup

Do you consider yourself short? I am short

Hoodies or jackets? why not both? there ain’t a big difference between those

Are you outside a lot? nope

Have you ever been dumped via text message? I dumped someone via text message

Do you like dreamcatchers? not anymore

What is your favorite letter of the alphabet? T?

Do you believe in any particular curses? I’m afraid

What movie scares you the most? that I watched or don’t wanna see?

Do you work with any close friends? I don’t work

Do you listen to any country music? few songs of Dolly Parton and Johnny Cash

Do you still sleep with any stuffed animals? bunch

Are you normally an independent person? I don’t believe you can be totally independent, you can be more or less but never 100% and I wish I wasn’t so dependent

Ever been judged because of your weight? I’ve been told I must have anorexia or bulimia which is a lie

Do you regret meeting any of your exes? obvi

What’s the meanest thing someone’s called you? I’ve heard so many names that it’s hard to choose

Do you own any brown clothing? I might but I can’t remember atm

What is the first digit of your phone number? personal

Do you tend to sleep a lot? wouldn’t say so, especially recently

Silver or gold jewelry? dunno, depends

What’s the best gift you’ve ever received? I’ve received lots of goodies

When was the last time you showered? last night

Would you consider yourself attractive? me? r u kidding?...

Has anyone made you mad today? mom - slightly

Favorite smell: sigh...

Are you afraid of insects? dead ones and maggots

Do you have any children? noooo

If so, what are their names? -

Have you ever lived on a farm? been visiting my aunt, I enjoyed it

Ever played any sports? we all had to in PE

Are you afraid people won’t accept you? I know they won’t

Are you, for the most part, an honest person? I try to be?

Did you make prank phone calls as a child? no way

Do you like to make donations? if I had money... but I donate old stuff at times

Meet anyone from your past lately? yep

Have you ever called a suicide line? nope and no comment

Have you ever caught something on fire? my fingers

Have you ever climbed a mountain before? I think it was a hill actually

At what age do you plan to get married? about 30 if at all

Have you kissed anyone on the lips within the past 12 hours? I have not What’s something you need to go shopping for? food tomorrow? How many hours did you sleep last night? fallen asleep before 2 am then woke up twice until 5 am as I felt bad and then finally about 10 am In the past week have you watched cartoons? She-ra Do/did you do good in school? very then I got worse gradually Who are you most like in your family? look more like mom but have personality and interests more like my dad

Last thing you had to drink? I’m drinkin’ water now Is there any part of your body that hurts? there is Where is your biological mother right now? balcony

If you say “haha”, do you sometimes put space between them? [Ex. Ha ha] then it has a different (sarcastic) meaning

Do you have fruit flies in your house? only sometimes when there are fruits in the kitchen

Have you ever seen a spelling error in a book that you read? yeah and that annoys me

Do you type “mhm” a lot? mhm hehe

Have you ever tried eating peanut butter to get rid of your hiccups? it helps? :o

Do you have a garage? we don’t as we don’t own a car

Do you think it would be cool if one of your family members was your neighbor? but I live with my parents

Do you remember the first time you experienced the Internet? not exactly the very first time

Are you still in your pajamas? am not

Is Jiminy the Cricket your favorite Disney character? sorry but no

If you were Noah, would you procrastinate building the ark? it made me laugh

Do you know anyone that snores really loud? my mother

What kind of purse do you have? I own many

If you were only allowed to make one more phone call to a loved one, who would you speak to? my dad

“Age is nothing but a number.” Is that true? said a pedo

What’s the most interesting thing about you? depends on a perspective?

Have you ever lost someone to suicide? If so, how did you cope? I haven’t

What’s your most prized possession? Why? personal

What’s your favorite part of speech? mic drop, jk

Would you rather have it all or know it all? does have it all means also have all illnesses? then thx but no

Do you actually read privacy policies when signing up for new things? only part about paying, I check if it’s free or else I’m paranoid about it later What’s the most dangerous thing you would like to do now? eat what I can’t Did you invite classmates to your birthday parties? only my best friends Do you like when things are color coordinated? nah

Have you ever participated in one of those “guess how many jelly beans, mints, etc. are in this jar!” contest? if so, have you ever won? I didn’t win Can you juggle? can’t

Have you ever mistaken a ringing phone on TV or in a movie for your own? not only, sometimes there is a sound in a song and I think it was my phone or smth How often do you use bobby pins? very rarely Are you in a good mood right now? I’m in one of the worst moods actually Who was the last person in your bedroom? my mother Are you listening to music, if so, what song? I’m not in the mood Have you ever taken a picture with Santa when you were little? I wish I had What color is the sky outside? light blue with white clouds Have you ever rolled down a steep, grassy hill for fun? I haven’t

Do any of your neighbors have dogs? some, one of the dogs is barking 24/7 and I hate it

Have you ever bought a fragrance by a celeb because you liked who it was? that’s stupid Do you normally wash your hands in warm or cold water? warm Do you watch The Big Bang Theory? used to Do you think about the way things used to be often? overthink, feel nostalgic, miss stuff Do you know someone who has purple in their hair? Or do you? not anymore Are you a competitive person? competitions are too stressful How often do you get an upset stomach? all the damn time Do you have any ceramic animals in your house or outside? we do :D What’s worse : A clingy person or someone who doesn’t care enough? I prefer someone balanced, in between How many dresses do you own? just a few Do you read instructions? partially Have you ever seen the show Wife Swap? I heard of it

What was the last thing you took a picture of? flowers for my parents

What’s the worse type of weather in your opinion? very cold and snowy Would you rather read or write? depends Growing up, did you see your cousins often? no Where was your first job at? dunno what I can count as my first job Is life a party to you? as a person who doesn’t like parties... Who are you tired of seeing in the news a lot? I’m tired of news in general When was the last time you flew a kite? as a kid :( How long have you had Facebook? I don’t remember how old I had my first account but this one is new, had it just couple of months have you ever wanted to be a dentist?: no way in hell

does your cell phone have a charm hanging from it?: new cellphones don’t have the spot for that like the older models did and that’s really sad, I had charms on my blackberry

what color was the last thing you drank?: transparent

what was the last game you played online?: I’m playing Raid shadow legends

do you have something with your school’s name on it? not anymore

which one of your friends would make the best roommate?: my dad as I already live with him

how old were you when you first learned how to read?: I learned very soon

do you have a favorite cup or mug? if so, describe it: I don’t use my fav ones as I worry I will ruin them

who was on top the last time you had sex?: personal

what color was the last blanket you used?: it’s blue with sun and moon

if you don’t have a car, what is your dream car?: DeLorean or jeep

have you ever wanted a pet chinchilla?: yep

has gum ever gotten stuck in your hair?: będąc w lokalnym sklepiku z tatą zauważyłam, że żując miałam włosy w buzi i się wlepiły i powiedziałam ojcu o tym, a ten mnie pociągnął za czuprynę i guma wyskoczyła mi z paszczy i zawisła na tych nieszczęsnych kosmykach i ekspedientka to widziała, chciałam się zapaść pod ziemię, nie pamiętam jednak co się stało potem czyli jak odlepiliśmy to świństwo oraz kiedy właściwie

1 note · View note

raiswriting · 6 years

Text

it sucks part two

a/n : please read part one before this

warnings: one instance of profanity

genre: angsty fluff

pairing: jaehyun x reader

summary: after a drunken confession the reader and jaehyun must face one another the next morning (im sorry I suck at summaries)

word count: exactly 2.3k (once again I got really carried away djskdh)

“i love you too jaehyun…”

i stood up and left his room. the door quietly shutting behind me.

“…more than you’ll ever know.”

as i found my way through my apartment and into my bathroom, my mind was oddly quiet. no racing thoughts. no overwhelming feelings. just an odd calmness. i peeled the remainder of my clothes off before stepping into the shower. this calmness wasn’t founded in assurance, instead in confusion. i didn’t know what he meant, he could have simply been showing appreciation as a best friend or confessing his feelings for me. either way, there would be no way of finding out tonight so why worry about it. my mind was too tired to think and this can be a conversation for the morning over breakfast. after getting out of my shower, i managed to throw on a fresh set of pajamas and sink into a blissfully warm bed.

i had woken up alone in my own bed again. strangely cold despite the layers i was covered in. and lonely even in these groggy moments the silence echoing in the room was deafening. my clock read 10:37. i should probably go check on jaehyun. after dragging myself through the process of looking decent, i made two cups of coffee. luckily we took it the same way, drowning in creamer and sugar. enough to be sickeningly sweet to anyone else but perfect for us. while allowing the drinks to cool slightly i decided to text him and let him know im on my way.

y/n 10.58 – hey loser unlock your door im on my way over with coffee

jaejae 10.59 – you are a godsend, consider it done

i grabbed the mugs and headed over. i clearly didn’t think ahead because i was greeted with the task of trying to open door handles while simultaneously trying to not spill coffee all over myself. once i had managed to get out of my apartment and into his, a new fear quickly settled in. confrontation. i would have to talk to him about what was said last night. jaehyun clearly said he loved me. if he remembered what happened last night then we’d obviously have to talk about it, which could end 2 ways. but if he didn’t remember then i’d have to wonder what he meant forever. Both options seem fucking terrifying but there was no turning back now, i am already at his bedroom door.

“knock knock,” i said softly as i pushed open his door. there he lay, only half awake and on his phone. he looked absolutely unreal. wrapped in a hoodie and blankets up to his chin. hair tousled, wavy and sticking up in all directions. his glasses sat low on his nose as his gaze glanced over them and up at me. a small smile graced his lips despite his eyes looking tired.

as i close his door i finally hear his voice, “good morning y/n.” you have to be kidding me. i have heard his raspy, sleep coated voice almost every day yet it still has an effect on me. my throat goes dry and i stumble over my words.

“morning, umm, here is your coffee.” i hand him the mug and take a seat at the end of his bed furthest away from him as i sip my own. i let the warmth from the coffee spread throughout me before looking back up at him. in that moment he closes his eyes and lets out a sigh.

“how are you feeling jaehyun?”

his eyes sluggishly looked over at me. “much better than i would’ve been thanks to you. thanks for getting me here and taking care of me.”

i nervously sipped my coffee and nodded. “of course. what was i gonna do leave you on the lawn of some frat house.”

he warmly chuckled. “is that really where you picked me up?”

oh no. he doesn’t remember last night. no. i didn’t know i’d hate this so much.

“haha yeah. do you not remember?” please. remember something. please remember what we talked about.

“bits and pieces not much to be honest. i remember you promising me breakfast, which you don’t really have to do by the way-“

“no no no. i promised so i’ll take you if you’re feeling up for it.” but it’d be kinda awkward if you didn’t remember what you said.

“okay, okay. umm what else?” he tapped his mug in concentration. “oh yeah! i didn’t remember it at first but then i saw your sweater in the trash. so i am really really sorry for throwing up on you. you can have one of mine or i can buy you a new one because i really do feel really bad.”

i could see the sorrow in his eyes. he looked like a puppy who got in trouble for destroying a slipper.

“oh jaehyun don’t even worry about it. i was just worried about you. you haven’t gotten that drunk in a long time and i just wanted you to be safe.” i took another sip of my coffee. my hands were shaking slightly. he still hasn’t mentioned it. he really did forget.

even though my eyes stayed glued to my mug, i could feel his on me. after a few seconds, i glanced up at him. i couldn’t tell the emotion in his eyes. his mask had gone back up. he moved over slightly and patted the bed next to him. when i gave him a confused look, jae only patted it more aggressively. so i moved from my comfy little spot on the far corner of his bed to the top, next to him. like directly next to him. as in i could feel the warmth radiating off of his body type of closeness. i could feel the heat rising up my neck, painting my skin a nice deep red. my coffee was getting dangerously low and soon i would no longer be able to use it as an excuse to not talk.

“y/n.” he finally broke the silence and i only hummed in response. i could feel his intense gaze looking directly at me. my own was focused on my mug, suddenly the marble pattern on the side was very interesting. before i was able to commit each swirl to memory, it was taken from my hands and both mugs were placed on the nightstand. jaehyun turned back to me and i had no other choice than to face him.

“y/n. we need to talk.” nope. i can’t do this. you know what, i’m still young. i could always leave right now, move away, maybe change my name. i heard new mexico is nice this time of year.

“i meant what i said last night” the second those words left his mouth, my eyes widened and met his.

“i really am sorry.” oh. that’s what he remembered.

i cleared my throat kind of awkwardly, “i know you are, jaehyun. and i hope you remember when i told you that you have nothing to be sorry for.”

he sighed deeply while pushing his glasses higher on his nose. “but that’s the thing. yes i do so please just let me get this off my chest.” silently i nodded and let him continue.

“look i know this friendship isn’t always easy and it has been especially rough these past few weeks. you don’t deserve that. i keep putting myself before you, y/n and it isn’t fair,” he turned, even more, to completely face me, so i did the same. “you have your own life to live and you shouldn’t have to worry about me 24/7. and i know you’re gonna say ‘jae i really don’t mind’ and that’s exactly it y/n. you always put others before yourself, you always put me before yourself.” his eyes left mine only for a moment to glance at my hands and take them in his. they were warm, which wasn’t surprising. they matched the rest of him.

“i’m sorry because i never return the favor. i’m sorry because i’m never there for you the way you’re there for me, y/n. you’re my best friend and i don’t know where i’d be without you.” his eyes were so intense. suddenly he just pulled my into a hug, burying my head into his shoulder, as his words echoed throughout my mind.

you’re my best friend

he really doesn’t remember. maybe he didn’t even mean it. maybe it was just a slip of the tongue. just a drunken moment.

a shakey sigh leaves my lips as i tilt my head towards his ear.

“jae.” y/n can do this. “you are one of the most important people in my life. i care about you so much and i just want you to be healthy and happy.” even if it isn’t with me. “so of course i accept your apology, even if you don’t have much to apologize for.” this hurts. so much more than i thought it would. my head hurts. my throat hurts. my heart hurts. but he can’t know. unfortunately, my body betrays me as a few tears fall and i begin to sniffle.

jaehyun presses a kiss to the top of my head before pulling away and wiping my tears.

“hey, hey. everything is gonna be okay. go ahead and let it out, i’ll be here for you. forever and always.”

i let out a pathetic laugh that sounded more like a sob. “so now you’re quoting me huh?” wait. how could he quote something i said last night if he could barely remember throwing up on me. “i guess you’re memory from last night isn’t too far gone.” i sniffled a little, trying to reign it all in, i can cry over sad rom coms tonight but not right now.

his eyes went slightly wide before chuckling lightly. “uh yeah i guess it has been coming back in pieces.”

as much as i wanted him to say it again, sober, and mean it. i also didn’t want it to be when he wasn’t ready. if he remembers what i said then he knows I feel the same and he’ll tell me when he’s ready.

even though i know that, it doesn’t make it hurt any less. and it still doesn’t eliminate to the possiblity of him not meaning it.

quickly i try to change the subject. “so do you wanna get dressed, we can go out for breakfast,” i glance down at my watch, 11:49. “well it’s more like lunch but it’s the same sentiment.” i chuckle softy trying desperately to lighten the mood.

“yeah let’s do it. if you want you can grab a sweater out of my closet.”

i smiled at him before getting off of his bed and heading to his closet. i already knew what sweater I was getting. it was plain grey but it was the softest material I had ever felt in my life. I remember the first time he had let me borrow it.

...

we had only been neighbors for a few months but we had a few classes together. it was the coldest week of the year and my heater just had to break. he was coming over for a quick study session when he was confronted with my 50-degree apartment.

“goodness y/n. why do you have the air on in here?” he quickly pulled his own sweater tighter around himself.

my teeth chattered slightly. “i don’t. my heater is broken and won’t be fixed until next week.”

“you’re kidding me.” his eyes were opened wide in disbelief when i shook my head.

“well grab your stuff you can come over to my place and I’ll give you a much warmer sweater to wear.”

i couldn’t find it in me to argue so I gathered my things and followed him to his place. the warmth was inviting. he quickly disappeared around the hall as i set my stuff on the living room table. he came back holding a large grey sweater that looked enticing.

“here you go. i hope it’s warm enough. you can keep it with you until your heater gets fixed.” he handed it to me, his eyes fixed to the floor.

“thanks.” quickly i discarded my flimsy, too thin sweater and replaced it with his. immediately i was entranced with the smell of the hoodie. it was probably his cologne. i was intoxicated with it. vanilla. raspberry. and a burning fireplace. for some reason, the scent matched who his personality perfectly. it was inviting and warm. it felt safe. like home.

when I finally looked up at him there was a small smile on his face.

“you look cute.”

my cheeks flushed red. “so do you want to start with english?” i plopped myself down on the couch ignoring his slight chuckle at my attempt to change the topic of conversation.

“sure let’s do it.” he sat beside me. too close yet not close enough. i craved his presence to be nearer while simultaneously wanting him to sit on the other chair in the room.

...

when he saw what i had brought out he shook his head incredulously.

“of course. i knew you’d take that one.”

“you know it’s my favorite,” i quickly pulled it over my head, “but for some reason it feels softer when I steal it from you.”

we chuckled together while i put my shoes back on.

“wait where are you going?” he called out to me as i passed his bed.

“well we need to go get some lunch. I need to grab my keys and wallet. i’ll be right back. you can start getting dressed while i’m gone.”

i reached for his bedroom door. but his voice stopped me in my tracks. my hand gripping the knob. knuckles turning white.

“oh okay. i love you, see you in a bit.”

part three

165 notes · View notes

bkanvas-fairy · 5 years

Note

Could you tell us a little about your characters?

Y E S !

but due to me having at least over a thousand characters I’ll just give a quick summary of the 25 I manage to dig up over 3 sketchbooks.

Y’all can pick and choose which of them interest yall or who you wanna hear more about!

Also because I’m extra, I made sketch icons for the 25 characters, info under the cut

I’ll talk a bit more about my actual Original Characters first, starting with

Aiko! Otherwise known as Echo

- A marked individual in a steampunk world that gets mixed with magic, because I like both of those things

- Echo runs an underground lab that does helps the underground world with replacing body parts, illegal surgeries etc etc

- Even though she marked, which puts a bounty on her head already, she is well respected by the community for not cheating for your money, stealing your cash, or shanking/killing you mid-surgery

- however, Echo does long for adventure and sometimes do get bored in the lab

oh yeah,, Echo like stealing eyeballs, so if you’re low on cash and wouldn’t mind losing an eye, you know who to call!!

Bonus:

Here’s Echo’s boring, undeveloped sidekick!! I don’t like her and I don’t know how to make her better. Yes, she doesn’t have a name.

here’s my god playboy that left “heaven” due to having an early mid-life crisis, I call him God boi cause;

- He goes by many names!

tbh, he’s probably the closest character I have to being genderfluid/-neutral? I’m not sure,,

- The god has many powers, from lightning to shapeshifting

- The shapeshifting part allows him to change every part of himself, allowing him to change depending on his situation.

- God boyo, or originally Aristide, is obsessed with the idea of perfection. A god should be perfect, if a god is out of line, he is no god.

- Same goes for him, which means whenever something is wrong with him, it affects him, extremely

However, leaving the land of gods to live among humans aren’t all perks

- Aris isn’t immune to diseases or injuries. In fact, he actually fell down and died on impact when he came to earth, being reborn into another child immediately.

- He doesn’t gain his memories back automatically tho!! He has to have a major shock to the brain in order for him to remember his previous lives

- Sometimes the shock isn’t enough either, when you have a thousand over lives, you won’t remember every single one of them. So forgotten lovers coming back to haunt because your brain hates you? That’s everyday for him!

i just,, i like playing with the concepts of god,,

Up next we got Ayeka Himura! A japanese student going to a neighborhood, but still a pretty good, school living close to poverty due to her father’s constant spending habits and obsession with art supplies. With the household lacking a mother due to wacky shenanigans, Ayeka takes care of her two younger siblings and the house, all while maintaining a very well-paid job and slowly loosing interest in actually studying for a good, honest job.

also she likes birds!!

Yes her design is heavily “based” off Toga but I love her current design too much to change it, h e l p

So like,, I suck at chinese and I made ocs that exclusively spoke in chinese to help with that but I’m still stuck at 40~marks

I forgot his scar but remembered his earring i hate myself

my og chinese kiddo! he was was first to come and I love his design ever since

he radiates fuck you energy except the girl below. He’s neighbors with her and they acknowledge each other existence ever since. he has a dumb cliche crush on her and is a bit protective of her because nothing says having issues than latching onto someone that makes you happy

Only this girl got named!! even tho she was the second character.

Li Shen, yes she doesnt have a surname, is apparently main ho now, according to my old oc chart of my “main” ocs

She’s the group’s resident sweetheart and really does not want you to do stupid shit, stop doing stupid shit. She tutors my son up there ^^ even though he’s actually smart and just refuses to do his work properly. But she still deeply cares for him.

As well as the girl below shdifhd

the last girl of the ching chong trio and the reason I had to switch up my son’s design is this girly over here! Her design was too business-y and formal so I enrolled all of them into college. A rich girl who doesn’t know how to deal with her g a y thoughts. Tried sending Li Shen some flowers once. She didn’t realize attaching her name would be a good idea and son got a good laugh.

i like paranormal stuff so they apparently look into that shit in their spare time. They’re all actually really fun characters to do prompts with I swear!! send some in and I’ll write them

I had a previous concept for son and Li Shen before last girl came and if yall want me to talk about it,,, i found my sketchbook with the old ideas,,

NEXT UP IS MY OLD GIRL ELORA!!

Elora herself used to be a fan character but I pulled her out and wow\

cant fucking believe she used to be straight for Vylad

shes the outgoing, fun adventure type! bit of mommy issues here and there tho,, I don’t want to say too much since I have an entire for her +

her now upgraded bro, Vincent

i really like the name vincent,,

also now he has mommy issues

Ead, the knight who used to have armor

I hate drawing armor

he also have issues

AND IRIS MY SWEET GIRL IM SO SORRY

she doesnt have that much issues tho

basically I made elora and her bro have mommy issues, I’m sorry in advance if that spoils anything

I, sometimes, post about these 4 over on @eloradiesismydocsname and its a gay ol’ time

not that gay tho because uhh,, medieval times,, but I need prompts for a modern au of them and I am happy to talk about their personalities and even go semi in-depth for any of them!!

here we have ghoster.png,, which is her file name cause I didn’t name her,,

A horror enthusiast + film student that goes to a supposedly haunted shack to film her upcoming project with the boys. wacky shenanigans occur and the boys left leaving ghoster here to starve and eventually fall to her death. But because it’s my oc i get to bring her back from the dead, now hungry as ever and will fucking eat you, its not a kink thing, shes just that hungry and angry

tax fraud.png

a robo girl that i created during social studies cause they were talking about taxes and i just went, “what if,, a robo runs on taxes,,, and like,, she haunts you down for not paying your taxes,,” thus she was born! I don’t know what to name her but she is set in the future so-

Time to go future-apocalypse style because I love that setting too and was upset that I didn’t have any ocs in that style. So I created Alex A. ! A cybrog filled with memories of the previous generations as a sad attempt to preserve human life.

He’s accompanied by his sister/cousin idr i didn’t draw an icon for her, didnt like her design. they go on a hunt for food and to return with nothing. She gets to meet this other dude who has a plant arm im pretty sure i based him off someone’s elses oc but i cant remember. The 3 are forgotten. Kinda want to bring them back tho.

Neon! A character set in the future utopia of lazy people, where gamers rise up. its the best I can describe her story without getting too deep. She the new hacker on the block, joining the underground gang of elite hackers. She’s another one of those wacky characters that just has fun. I mean, when you know your way around codes and the world you live in is full of it, would you not take advantage of that?

as for fan characters,, uhh,, i have em

STARTING WITH MY WIFE!

Alexzandra Zara oh my god i forgot to draw her necklace and shirt

anyways,, Alexzandra is one of the more older ocs I have that didnt get a big revamp. Only an au I develop to the point I forgot the actual shows and the original cast are a little different from the source haha what? She’s the emotionally unstable german war veteran, yes the wife thing isn’t mutual, and haha shes only 27~. I cling onto her so much?? She’s hits a lot of “edgy” points but I still love her cause idk,, the story I made for her is something I hold dear cause Alexzandra was one of my first ACTUALLY DEVELOPED CHARACTER. Is it wrong to say I hold her really close to my heart? Is that weird? probably a little cringy sorry haha. I probably project a little into her which might have strengthened my love for her ack. Her story delves more into the depression very unstable needs to talk to someone side and i get scared talking about my wife’s story online so uhh, idk ask me specific questions about her, I’ll be more inclined to talk.

Dr Watts! The spoiled ass dick that stole dst Wilson’s house and yes this is a dst oc, yes im slightly sorry.

He’s just fun?? almost ran a blog with him and a friend’s oc. He’s your typical uptight old science gramps that took advantage of the fact that no one knows his real name that he calls himself a doc. He’s not. I put everything about him up to a 9-10? He’s one of those wacky characters and I love him for it! His story is really wonky tho so might need help solidifying that part

and from the angry old man to my sweet man that will adopt you even if you’re noisy or call him ginger. Pilot here is a TF2 OC I made to interact with other tf2 OCs cause some of them are fun and i wanna join in :((

He’s the Canadian stereotype, and yes, he adopted scout, that was one of my character notes.

Like the actual cast of tf2, there’s barely any real story to him. I only gave him a vague I don’t know my past but hey, i fly really really well. He participated in war unlike certain men but he’s still really nice and will only kill you if you hurt his family. Which he doesn’t know so he just considers the cast his family. He keeps mentioning a wife though, pretty sure he doesn’t have one but you do what makes you happy son.

Ai! an oc I HEAVILY revamped oh my god i hate her old vers. So if yall remember my random shouting of missing my og son, Aru. Here’s his bff. cause he barely has any actual friends that give a shit. And I just cant have that. but here’s your yandere revamped into a last minute addition. I actually feel like I did Ai a lot of justice. I don’t want to delve too deep cause I will start making charts. I’ll do that in a separate post if yall are keen

Isamu Aena! a mp100 oc I made by accident cause idk,, I was thinking about lolita fashion and all of a sudden, the actual oc I was going to make turned into a mob psycho oc. She’s one of my few ocs where her sexuality matters (she’s gay yeah) cause it plays a role in her storyline. She went from being “manipulated”/used to Mob’s wingwomen. She spots out things that can help him in the romantic department cause she’s into romance. A student of the school Mob infiltrated and a fantastic tailor, not to mention a pretty decent pyschic. wait where do models get their lolita stuff from,,

im gonna ignore that and move onto Lillian Yi! Who, i swear i did not meant for it, is very close to lloyd. I mean,, none of the ninjas were with him after s3, who you think he’d meet. Lillian is a survivor from the Great Devourour and yes I’m still pissed LEGO stole my backstory for Lillian to use for Harumi. FUCK YOU LEGO, i still love both of em tho,, The event did leave a big scar and it made Lillian job jumping for a bit, ending at Chen’s Noodles in S6~, where ya know,, stuff got better. She was a medalist for gymnastics and continue the activity, even after her parents’ death, to please others. She was already lost at the time so staying in the sport would help, right? Needless to say, after being rejected at a cop academy for youths, or something similar, she gave up for a while but got back into the idea of saving people by using her skills she already had. It helped with the weight and feelings and meeting the green ninja was a very big bonus. Also Lloyd dubbed her the “mysterious stranger” when she refused to speak in fear of her identity, slight shame, and maybe a bit of being star struck. It helped Lloyd too in a sense where he had something to distract him from Zane’s passing.

Their relationship was eventually formed, strong and almost unbreakable, except for harumi but uhh thats a different story. Throughout the seasons, they stayed close and lloyd was always comforted by Lillian went times get ruff.

Also Lillian is my most light-hearted characters and I think that says a lot

Then there’s Nite “I don’t want to be your dad”. A character that is supposed to be in the ninjago world but barely interacts with the main story and only stays in his self contained plot. He was supposed to get a bf but uhhh idk. He’s the master of shifting and streams that online, taking out small crimes, and is actually really shy and doesn’t like interacting with people.

also haha fortnite

Nora Akino, the sin of despair! its an ad thing, I think. She speaks only in a foreign language that only Odin understands and is either big gay for Ava or Maggi, she can’t pick. And yes she did drink the vial, when TITAN attacks your planet and you accidentally die, how else can you meet your family again? also my grandpa walked in and said she looks like royalty. cool-

she wouldn’t leave my hand for like,, 3 days or something

Petri, a fellow troublemaker at camp campbell’s music camp. She managed to pick the camp because apparently a parent who doesn’t acknowledge your hard work don’t read the fine print! Please let David adopt her,,

LASTLY! Yukimaru Atsuko, hero name; Gummie. She goes by Yuki and is a big dick. She’s a studious student but gets more thrills on the actual battlefield. Living with her uptight grandma and her big bottom energy bro, she has the dom energy thing going. and apparently folks on G+, or the people who comment about her, thinks she’s really pretty, which was oddly a thing back before UA. She’s the dick you can like, not like Bakugou but she will definitely want to fight Bakugou.

A gum-related quirk is not full of perks when its only your hands. I’d dive more into her like her insecurities and stuff but I’ve been here for probably 3hrs. Sorry anon.

Also I’m so sorry to anyone who reads this all the way through.

#not an ask #bkanvas' ocs #ocs

1 note · View note

aboysbestfriendishismum · 6 years

Text

Chapter 50 - Xanadu, Donna Summer and Dave Gahan in leather pants (Part Three)

In the previous chapter: Eddie is fascinated by Angie at the club, he dances with her and almost kisses her, but he's interrupted by Mike Starr, who wants to dance with the girl. Jerry gets mad at the bassist for taking liberties with Angie, their bandmates try to calm him down and Starr tells him he's not into her and only does it to tease him a little. Jerry then has a clarifying talk with Eddie, who admits his interest towards Angie, and the two of them agree to go for a sort of truce and avoid talking about her at all. The guys who lost the bet perform as the Village People and the crowd loves it. The morning after, Angie and Eddie are together on the beach, talking and joking, Eddie finds out Angie's friend will arrive in the afternoon and he's a little sad about it because he'd want some more time alone with her. They meet Mitch, alias Michelle, Eddie's old friend and Beth's neighbor, and Angie's almost intimidated by her beauty. Mitch asks him if he wants to surf some more with her but Vedder prefers to stay with Angie.

“Ok, I'm going then”

“Yes, Eddie... for the third time, you can go, don't worry. I promise you we won't burn your house down” Angie's sitting beside me on the sofa and rolls her eyes before turning to look at the guy who's standing on the doorway.

“Haha no, it's not for that. It's just... well, I'm sorry I have to leave you two alone...” it's nice of him to include me too, although at least two thirds of this room know exactly who he's more sorry for.

“No problem, Angie and I haven't seen each other since Christmas, we've got a lot of things to tell each other. It's gonna take me a minute but as you know our friend here needs a little encouragement, so we'll probably go pretty late until the evening” I already know I'll have to torture this bitch to have her tell me something. After I saw her at Christmas, and considering our phone calls since then, I was expecting to see the usual grieving and inconsolable Angie I'd have to cheer up. Yet I see she cheered herself up with no one's help this time. Well, no one...

“Right, you probably want to have some alone time too. Well, gotta go now” yes Eddie, thank you really, you're sweet, but I need to be alone with my best friend to talk and gossip about everyone and everything. And about you as well.

“Just go do your soundcheck, Eddie, we'll be alright” Angie repeats as she's covering the chocolate cake she baked with a napkin, well, what's left of it after our attack. Is she already putting it away?

“I already called Craig anyway”

“You trust us so much!”

“He'll come by at eight to pick you up. Or to lead you to Winter's, it depends if you wanna take Dina's car or not”

“Yes, please, let's take my car, so I can go back to L.A. right after”

“But only if you feel like driving, if you don't I told you, you can crash here at my place, it's ok”

“Thank you, Eddie, I'll see how the night goes. If I'm tired I'll gladly accept your invitation” I hope I won't have to accept it, I love Eddie's hospitality, but I've got the feeling I'd be a bit in the way”

“My friends are throwing some kind of party on the beach after the show, I think you'll take my offer”

“You didn't tell me” Angie remarks clearly surprised.

“Oh. Well, surprise!” Eddie briefly sets foot back in the living room, holding out his arms and showing a wide smile.

“It's not as surprise anymore” she scowls.

“When Craig and the guys are involved, everything's a surprise. Alright, gotta go now”

“Eddie, go away” Angie jokes throwing a pillow at him.

“See you later at the club”

“See ya. And thank you for the tour. And for cotton candy!” fuck it was good.

“You're welcome. It's a must after rollercoaster rides. See you tonight girls”

As soon as Eddie leaves and closes the door behind himself, Angie stands up and unfortunately takes away the dish with the cake.

“I'm exhausted, I guess I'll take a nap until tonight” my friend stretches her arms as she walks back to the couch and then just plops down yawning. I don't think so.

“You didn't tell me you've got a new puppy”

“A puppy?” she looks at me suspiciously.

“Yeah”

“What do you mean, I don't have dogs in Seattle” she really doesn't have a clue what I'm talking about, it's almost like I can see the wheels spinning in her head trying to figure out where I'm getting at.

“I don't mean dogs, it's another animal species...”

“Huh?”

“This one wags its tail too, and fawns on you of course, but it's a different kind of beast...”

“The fuck are you talking about?”

“Come on, the one waking on two legs... who obey his princess' commands, all doe-eyed, and holds your hand on the scary rides at the carnival”

“You're not normal” she shakes her head not looking at me.

“I'm talking about the pup who's just left through that door”

“Yeah, at this point I got it, thank you”

“How come you didn't tell me?”

“Sure I told you! I also invited you over here to see his show”

“You told me it was a friend, not a... friend”

“I don't get it”

“You didn't tell me it was your friend” this time I add some eyebrows wiggle.

“I still don't get it”

“A friend” I repeat blatantly winking.

“Sure he's a friend, so what? I don't understand”

“Fuck you Angie, you understand me so well: FRIEND!” I insist air quoting myself.

“He's a friend, without those... things!” she mimics my air quoting.

“Why? Don't you like him? He's not a bad specimen at all”

“Would you stop talking about Eddie as if he was a piece of cattle?” she scolds me, surely I cut her to the quick.

“Sorry. A nice young colt?”

“Dina!”

“Ok, whatever. Why don't you him?”

“I didn't say that”

“You do like him then!”

“I didn't say that either”

“Yeah, sure, like I needed you to say anything at all. I already know”

“Great, you know everything already, so let's talk about something else” Angie crosses her legs on the couch and frowns, a clear signal for me to let go.

“Right. Let's talk about Sean: did the Merman send pictures to you too?”

“You mean the ones with the seaweed jacket or those where he imitates the faces of mantas before throwing them back into the water?” the frown turns into her usual grin.

“Don't tell me he didn't send you the ones with him wearing a bikini?!”

“Sure he did, I only decided to remove them permanently from my memory. Thank you for reminding me”

“That jerk is having the time of his life. In spite of us”

“He has to balance and compensate for the other jerk, who's now become a serious person” Angie laughs as she mentions the astounding transformation of Richard the misfit.

“He didn't even get drunk at Christmas, almost scary”

“He didn't even go around throwing stones at people's decorations”

“He didn't even go to the shopping center to tell children queuing up to meet Santa that he was an imposter”

“Eeeeeh love changed him” she puts her hand on her heart and blinks dreamily, thinking she's funny. As if she hadn't batted those Maybelline lashes at Eddie the exact same way until five minutes ago.

“Why are you still the same then?”

“You're still the same pain in the ass too, still single?”

“Yeah but it's a choice. I mean, I've just started college, I want to look around first. Especially now that I have more options” I had one girlfriend in eighteen years, well, one and a half, I've got to make up for wasted time, ok?

“The analogy with cattle market goes on”

“Hey, it's true! You can't compare Boise's with Los Angeles' population, it's the law of large numbers. And then, you know, girls, but also guys... I mean, students are all far away from home, in a larger more open minded context, they're more open to cultural stimulus and less inhibited by provincialism and its prejudices” in Boise it's easier to find a hit man rather than a lesbian, not because there are no lesbians, but because they're well hidden.

“Do you mean gay people come out more easily?”

“And bisexual. And also just curious people. And who am I to deny help in satisfying someone's curiosity?”

“No special girl though”

“I'm not in a hurry, my dear. But you seem to be on the right track”

“Ok, let's see what's on tv”

“We're up in fifteen minutes, where the fuck were you?” a guy with long brown hair partially tied up in a small pony tail on top of his head walks up to us with a threatening attitude as soon as we get backstage.

“Thank you for your warm welcome, Stone. This is my friend Dina. Dee, this is Stone Gossard, he plays guitar and, yes, that's his real name” Angie literally jumps between me and the guy with the guitar.

“Nice to meet you. Anyway it's not our fault, those guys didn't want to let us in” I point at the security guys.

“Weren't you with them? I'm gonna tell them off. I warned them!” the knight in a shiny armor called Eddie addresses his friend who led us here, then storms away to tell something to the security people.

“Oh well, we're here now, who cares!” I try to defuse tension, which seems to be palpable given the faces of the other musicians and I don't know if it's actually because we're late, because of the emotions for the imminent show or because the apparent leader of the band is angry.

“I stopped at the to talk to Diego for a minute and told the girls to go, I didn't think they'd be rebuffed” Craig justifies himself with no one really, not with Eddie who disappeared somewhere.

“Come on, nothing bad happened. And sorry for the rough welcome, I'm Jeff” a big guy with gentle eyes and a weird hat holds out his hand for me to shake it and remembering the conversations with Angie I recognize him as Eddie's roommate in Seattle. One by one the other band members and roadies and the singer of Alice in Chains introduce themselves, I immediately recognize Layne 'cause I saw him in a couple of videos.

“Anyway Angie and her beautiful friend are to blame too, they held me hostage at Eddie's place giving me cake. I couldn't say no to these sweet ladies” Craig goes on and puts a suspicious arm around my shoulders.

“And where's this cake? You didn't even bring us one slice?” Mike, the guitarist, whines “I bet it was a chocolate cake”

“Actually, it was” I admit basically breaking his heart.

“I guess everybody ate my cake, huh?” Eddie appears behind our back, exactly behind Angie's ear, with a beer in his hand.

“There's still half of it, don't worry” she reassures him patting his back and he offers her a second bottle of beer from out of nowhere.

“Are you sure they won't throw us out of the club if they catch us drinking?” I don't wanna be the party pooper, I just wanna be sure about the situation to stay away from trouble.

“Nah, they don't really card you here, anyway it's safer not to drink in the club, here in the backstage it's ok.” Craig reassures me and he still hasn't loosen his grip, actually he's holding tighter “And you're with me, you're safe”

“I'm gay” I learned it's better to nip things like this squarely in the bud. Also, when I say it our little group gets casually silent, even music stops in those two seconds. Well, that's better, I won't have to repeat.

“Ok. Can you be gay and drink with me at the same time?” Craig plays dumb but it's evident he's a little disappointed, even though he's being zen about it.

“Haha sure, no gay laws against that”

“Great, let's go, darling!” Craig pushes me into a hallway and everybody tags along. I spot a small group of three, four people chatting in front of a door. One of them is a very tall girl with glasses and long blonde dreadlocks. For a moment I feel like Angie feels 90% of the time. She's with three guys, a blonde and two dark haired ones.

“Hey Jerry, Stone'd kill for that vest, where did you get it?” Angie makes a joke about blondie's outfit. Apart from the multicolor vest, he's wearing red long johns and white shorts with skull print. And I thought I was daring too much matching a plaid skirt and a Little Mermaid's t-shirt. Anyway, clothes are not the things that catch my attention the most. It's the guy's name that sets off an alarm in my head: Jerry?

“I'm right here anyway” Stone complains giving Angie an apparently angry, but actually amused look. He is that Jerry.

“Sean knitted it for me! What? Don't you believe me? Now you look at him and see this bad, ugly, extremely gross drummer, but he's a champ at crochet” the asshole answers as he points at one of his friends.

“Hey! That's not true! I'm not bad!” the guy wipes invisible tears off his eyes.

“Great, you made him cry, are you happy now?” Angie jokingly scolds Jerry and I'm more and more dumbfounded. His friend is crying as a joke, but Jerry hurt you for real, how can you be so nonchalant?

After a small show of Angie and the blond amazon giving paper napkins to Sean, another round of meeting and introducing starts and I can't help clenching my teeth when it's Jerry's turn. He hands me a beer then opens the bottle with an opener attached to his key ring. I coldly thank him. He must have imagined I know everything.

“Why do you even talk to him?” I ask Angie when we're alone, trying to get the best front row places. She's not very happy, she'd rather be not so close to the stage, but I convinced her with the pretext of taking better pictures.

“Who?”

“Jerry! How can you talk to him? How can everybody? After he was a jerk to you” we're right in front of the stage, that's basically as tall as Angie.

“Well, it's very easy for everybody else: they don't know” she shrugs. That's so Angie, both shoulders shrugging and secrets.

“What do you mean they don't know?”

“We kept it low profile”

“Nodoby knows you broke up? Or nobody knows you were together at all?”

“Both. Except for Eddie and Mike” she reveals turning her back to the stage as soon as the music in the background gets louder, so that we can face each other and communicate more easily.

“And why didn't Eddie punch him in the face? Or did he?” he can't be on tour with him without a nice fistfight.

“No, he didn't”

“Surely because you told him not to, that'd be the only reason”

“I didn't... oh well, now that I think about it, technically yes” Angie stops in the middle of her thoughts and I was right as usual.

“I knew that”

“Anyway it's easy for me too, it's in the past now. I mean, don't get me wrong, it's not like I'm not mad at him anymore, but...”

“But you've got the new stallion now, so who gives a fuck, right?” if this is the reason I can only agree, good for you, sis! Even though I can't stand Jerry getting away with this.

“You're such a dork” she states without looking at me, observing the people slowly piling up under the stage around us.

“You are the dork and I don't need to explain why, do I?” I'm serious now and not because I got mad or something. I've known this dork since we were children and I can't just let go without trying everything to have her open her eyes, every fucking time.

“I don't... I don't want to delude myself” she admits not so easily as she seems extremely concentrated on the club's floor.

“Since I've arrived I've seen no trace of illusions, only very tangible signals. Whale-sized signals, Angie”

“Sometimes illusions are so strong they seem real”

“But it's worth running the risk sometimes, I can assure you”

“He's got an ex girlfriend” she says after a while, right when I think I had the last word.

“So what? Is she stalking him? Did she threaten to kill you?”

“No no. It's just... I think he's getting closer to me because he misses her. I don't know her, she could as well be here now” she looks around as if she was actually looking for this mysterious ex, the perfect bugbear for Angie not to admit and deal with her true insecurities.

“Sure, he misses her so much he didn't even mention her today”

“It doesn't mean anything, he's very private, he doesn't talk about his shit all the time”

“Listen, I don't know anything about this girl or how did they break up and why. And I don't even know shit about him, apart from the couple of things you've told me these last months. But there's one thing I know and it's that the guy who's on stage right now, trying to untangle that guitar cable can't take his eyes off you” Angie suddenly turns around to look at the stage and little Eddie, who's been lovingly staring at her the whole time, feels caught red-handed and looks down first, then back up at her with a guilty smile.

“Eddie's too-” she shakes her head almost imperceptibly as she waves at him.

“Angie, shut up”

“But-”

“If you don't want to get me angry, don't finish the sentence”

“How do you know how it ends?” she asks with a sad smile.

“I know, I know you”

“If you know me, you'll understand me”

“I understand you but since I know you, I know that if you came here to California it's not just to meet me or see your friends play as you can easily do in Seattle too. I know and you know”

“You're right” she folds her arms against her chest and takes a deep breath before speaking.

“And if you came this fare, if you took this step you'd never take, it means you secretely believe it's worth it”

“I missed him” she whispers. Actually she must have spoken at a normal volume but it was barely audible with the loud music in the club.

“What? I can't hear you?” of course I play dumb.

“I missed Eddie, I wanted to see him, to be with him... for a while”

“You're in too deep, darling!” I snicker victoriously.

“Do you think I don't know? I'm so stupid” Angie steals another glance of Eddie, busy with some roadies around an amp, then just walks away.

“Hey, where are you going now?” I huff and follow her. Why does she always have to make things difficult?

“We can't stay here, there'll be hell here, I can't take pictures if people kicks my camera crowd surfing”

The concert is great. I mean, the concerts, Alice in Chains are so good and it's hard to admit it, but Jerry's a fucking guitar god. Pearl Jam, that's their name now, are a surprise. I'm not saying I was expecting them to suck, after all if they've been called to open for a band who got signed by a major they had to be good, but I didn't think they were that good. Angie told me they'd been playing together for a short time and Eddie had recently replaced the old singer and was still shy. Shy my ass. Maybe it's because he was playing in a familiar place in front of a crowd that was half his friends, but I saw a cool aggressive singer, who also joked with the audience and confidently owned the micro-stage. After the end of the show we spend half an hour more at the club, then we go out and we all start splitting and going on different cars and exchanging info about where the party's taking place. I thought about something round here but if I didn't get it wrong I heard them mentioning Dana Point, that's basically half way between here and Los Angeles. That's great because Eddie volunteers for driving my car taking me and Angie and this means one hour driving less for me. And it also means one hour more for the love birds to be together in a small space and for Angie I'm willing to sacrifice myself and be their third wheel. Anyway, since my friend is a dumbass she's got the smart idea to ask Michelle to come with us. I'm sorry for Eddie but the face he makes when Angie gets into the backseat with me is priceless. I try and save the situation telling I feel I can drive but Eddie's too kind and too polite to let me. Angie vs. Logic: 1-0. My friend basically ghosts out on us during the ride, despite Eddie's attempts at including her in the conversation. She just makes some remarks here and there and remains silent for the rest of the drive, while Mitch and the guy talk about surfing, about an alleged crisis of vert as opposed to street skateboarding and the width of a certain model of bass guitar.

Eddie parks the car, like anybody else, next to the railway and as soon as we get out of the car he's already arm in arm with Angie, just not to waste any more time.

“So? Do you like it?” he asks pointing at the landscape as we walk along the bridge over the railway that leads to the beach.

“Yes, it looks so peaceful” my friend replies and it means she maybe got her voice back.

“It's quiet during the day too, Doheny is never too busy,” Michelle adds “but it's one of the best beaches to me”

“This is where I surfed for the first time” Eddie reveals and Angie finally looks at him in the eyes.

“Really?”

“Yeah, I was eleven, I used to came here to spend the weekend with my friend Christopher, who's Jamie's cousin actually” he explains, referring to one of the many friends of his I met tonight.

“Who set up the party” the girl points out.

“I rode my first waves with a twelve dollar board. It was a fucking coffin, full of craters. It was like surfing on a fuckin' log!”

“I assume surf technology took giant steps forward since then” Angie jokes as we get to the end of the bridge and enter some kind of small park with palm trees and picnic tables on one side, under the light of a long line of torches. Here are the others, who already started the party and were waiting for us.

“Hehe yeah, and I can afford something more decent to surf on. Anyway, I don't care, I'll never forget riding those first four waves on the log” Eddie's in a nostalgic mood and I, and I bet Angie too, can see waves rolling in his eyes.

“One of those waves in particular left a mark on you!” Michelle exclaimes, walking up to Eddie and jokingly lifting up his sweatshirt, pointing at something on his chest or belly, I can't really see anything in the dark. Angie lets go of the singer with the pretext of questioning the girl.

“Why? What did he do?” she asks with a little too much emphasis.

“Do you remember not so long ago, when I told you about surfboard leashes?” Eddie chimes in as he wants to explain himself, as we get to Stone's table.

“Yes”

“Well, those in 1975 were so stretchy that the board would fly back at you at supersonic speed”

“Breaking your face” Mitch adds showing a small red dot under her chin.

“Or planting against your sternum, like in my case” Eddie takes off his hoodie, shirt and t-shirt in a single move and stands right under one of the torches, pointing at a small scar we finally can see. Luckily Angie's already sitting because given the expression briefly appearing on her face, I think she'd have fallen face first into the sand without support.

“What are you talking about?” Jerry asks and honestly he could as well mind his own business.

“Battle scars” the blond surfer girl explains, as she helps herself with chips and beer.

“If we start listing all the bones Eddie and I broke, we'll end by dawn maybe” Craig makes room for me to sit beside him. He's clearly trying to be gentler than before not to give the impression he was kind only when he thought he could hit on me. There's nothing wrong with that, at least it's nice to find some sensitivity and empathy in people for once, it's just I've been observing this kind of behaviour all my life and I can't help but smile to myself when I notice.

“What about you Angie? Were you a daredevil child too?” Michell wakes her up from her daydreaming.

“Me? Uhm actually no, not at all”

“No?”

“The first and last time I set my foot on a skateboard I broke my coccyx, so my career in that sense was really short”

“Ouch! That must hurt!” Jeff grits his teeth and insinctively puts a hand agains his butt.

“This is new, you never told us. Why?” Stone is the most surprised of them all.

“Anyway show us the scar or it didn't happen, right?” Craig turns to look at Eddie, who turns to his friend like he wanted to jump at his throat any minute now.

“I was there and I can say it's true” I save both Angie from embarrassment and Craig from death.

“You were there because you were the one who put me on that fucking skateboard”

“We could be Toni Hawk and Rodney Mullen in a dress!” I complain as I help myself a big serving of popcorn and throw a couple at my friend.

“I've never worn a dress in my whole life”

“I don't think so” it's Angie's categorical answer when someone has the crazy idea to suggest jumping in the ocean in the middle of the night. I'd have been surprised if she accepted.

“Ok. Who stays on the beach cleans everything up!” Jamie yells as he takes off his pants and throws himself towards the water, followed by the whole gang, me included. Someone else is missing though, not just my friend. After I froze my butt in the icy water, I swim back to the shore and walk up to the beach, where Michell hands me a towel. I wrap myself up with it like a burrito, she slowly dabs herself with another towel.

“Have you seen Eddie?” I ask her because I left him my clothes and bag and I can't see them where I left them.

“He went on the rocks with his girlfriend, down there.” she says with a wink, then points at a series of rocks not far from here “I'd wait a minute before disturbing them”

With his girlfriend? Is she here? Who the hell is she? Was she among us all this time? Or has she just arrived? And how did Angie take it? And where is she now? The answer to my questions comes after I take a few jumps towards the spot indicated by Mitch. There he is, Eddie, sitting on a rock and watching the stars with his girlfriend: Angie. Who else? If Michelle considers her as Eddie's girlfriend, it counts for their friends too. After all it's quite obvious, it took me ten minutes to figure it out.

They're very cute together but I'm fuckin' freezing and I want my stuff back, I need to put some clothes on asap if I don't want to die. I walk up to them cautiously, from behind, and I end up eavesdropping what they say. But I swear I didn't want to! Anyway, their conversation speaks for itself.

“You could go too anyway”

“Nah, I don't really feel like...”

“Bullshit, you just don't want to leave me alone”

��No, I just don't want to get sick in the middle of a tour”

“Your tour mates aren't giving a fuck”

“One more reason to stay safe, there must be at least one healthy person”

“You don't have to babysit me tonight too, Eddie, you've already been doing it for two days”

“But I love it... can I babysit you a little longer?”

“Hahaha sure”

“Listen, I'm gonna keep seeing these assholes for a while, but you're leaving tomorrow. Do you mind if I'd rather spend this time with you?”

“No, I don't. But I never figured you for a masochist”

“I guess you'll just have to get used to that”

******************************************************************************************************************************************

“Angie? It's time to wake up!” this is my fourth attempt and if I keep on knocking on the bedroom's door it's only because I know she has to go back to Seattle. If it was up to me, I'd let her sleep to keep her here with me a little longer.

“Yeah, just a minute...” I hear her mumble through the door, exactly like the other three times.

Maybe we should have stayed awake without sleeping at all, considering she leaves so early in the morning, but she didn't resist, she was dead tired. So I stayed awake alone, sitting on my rooftop smoking, looking at the stars and pondering about my stupidity. Two days, I've had her here with me for two whole days and when I saw her for the first time on the beach and heard the news two days seemed such a long time to me. Now what? They're gone and what did I do? Nothing. I mean, it was great, we spent a lot of time together and had fun and I believe I won't forget a single second I spent with Angie. But she'll be gone in a little more than one hour and I didn't tell her anything or kiss her. Why is it so difficult? I keep trying to push the conversation in a certain direction all the time but there's always some kind of diversion taking us somewhere else, somewhere not necessarily unpleasant but generally very far from being in he arms. I was pretty close a couple of times, the first one I got interrupted by Mike Starr who was in the mood for dancing, the second one it was Dina. Actually she isn't to blame, she just wanted to get dressed and avoid hypothermia. And I could have got a move on anyway, I mean, if I can't even kiss a girl in a secluded corner of a small romantic beach under the starlight with the sweet low surge of the ocean waves as a soundtrack... well, I don't know then, I'm just hopeless I guess. Anyway, that was it and I can't go back, I can only look and think ahead and try to make the right choices in the future. I walk back into the kitchen and I reach in my pocket to check if the tape I made for Angie's still there. And where else would that be anyway? Normal guys simply hit on girls, I give out love-themed mix tapes that'll be heard by the receiver when she's like miles away. I didn't get anywhere acting as an adult, right? Now I'm gonna try boyish techniques...

I check out the time once again when the coffee is ready and go scouting in the bathroom area. I put an ear to the door to hear any possible sound but I can't hear anything. I cautiosly enter and like I thought, I find it empty. Thank god you were an early bird, Angie! I knock once again at Angie's door, that is at my bedroom's door, and no one answers. I slowly open it and she's still in bed, as it turns out.

“Angie” I call her from the doorway a couple of times but she doesn't move an inch. I walk up to the bed almost intimidated, maybe by her beauty or by her low snoring or by the word LOSER written on the t-shirt she borrowed. I get right beside her and keeping my eyes on her all the time I sit down on the bed next to her, trying not to make a sound. And I don't know why since I'm supposed to wake her up and should be loud instead.

“Angie, wake up... Angie!” I shake he shoulders softly but I get nothing more than a groan of complaint as a response.

“Mmmhh”

“Come on, Angie, it's late” I go on and she licks her lips and tilts her head to the left towards me, as if she looked right at me but keeping her eyes shut all the time. For a moment I think she's about to wake up but then she parts her lips slightly and starts breathing deeply, while her head falls back into the pillow in slow motion.

I feel more and more like the writing on the t-shirt Angie's wearing because I'd sit here just looking at her sleeping for hours, examining the smallest gestures and movements, and it's like I'm walking on the thin line between being in love and being a creep.

“Angie, I know you wanna sleep but I also know that once you wake up, you'll kill me if I make you miss the bus to Seattle. Get up, come on” I shake her again and this time she babbles something more comprehensible that I've already heard.

“Yeah, just a m...” she can't even say the whole sentence and she's already back to sleep.

“Angie” I lean down on her until I can feel her breath against my cheeks and find out it's a very nice feeling. And weird ideas intrude my mind.

“Don't even think about it” I tell myself as I try to look away from Angie's lips but it's easier said than done.

“She's not the Sleeping Beauty and you're not Prince Charming, you dumbass” I repeat to myself as my mouth follows a track of its own.

I'm an inch away from a kiss and I feel lightheaded, I don't know if it's for the umcomfortable position, for sleep-deprivation or excitement or because I'm basically breathing in only the carbon dioxide the girl I love is breathing out. I barely brush the tip of my lips against hers then immediately back up, once I realize what I'm actually doing. Is this the first kiss I wanna give to her? While she's asleep? While she can't react and tell me to fuck off? I lay down beside her, resting my head on the same pillow, and I look at her face trying to fix every single detail in my mind, to commit this moment to memory and never forget it. Then I get up from the bed.

“Sorry, Angie, there's no other way” Daydream Nation's cd is in my stereo, I select track number 5 and crank up the volume before pressing PLAY.

“FUCK!” Angie exclaims as she abruptly sits up on the bed.

“GOOD MORNING!” I yell over the music without turning it off.

“WHAT... WHAT TIME IS IT?”

“IT'S TIME... hehe it's time to get up” I giggle and turn down the volume to more human levels.

“Ok, I'm gonna get up now” Angie holds her head between her hands then look around still confused.

“Forgive me, princess, but you wouldn't wake up, I tried everything”

“Everything?” she asks and accurately avoids looking at me. She must be angry.

“Well, yeah, calling and shaking you didn't work...”

“I'm sorry, I'm... I'm gonna get dressed and ready now” Angie lifts the covers and gets out of bed immediately, going straight for her backpack and looking for something inside, still without looking at me. For a moment there I think I see her blushing.

“Sure, I'll leave you alone now. And... well, I made coffee if you want it” I add as I leave.

“Great, thanks”

“Anyway you could have taken a slice of cake” I scold her as we get out of the car.

“No, it's yours. And I had plenty of it yesterday” says Angie and now she's vaguely more alive and talkative than earlier, although I can see she's tired.

“One more bite wouldn't have killed you”

“No! And I got cookies anyway. And also the sandwiches you made me. By the way, you shouldn't have, I could buy something once in L.A.”

“Look, I know you're saying this because you think they're not edible and don't wanna offend me. I can assure you they're good”

“Hahaha I trust you, don't worry, it's not that. I meant you already did a lot for me”

“Uhm maybe I like doing things for you, is it bad?”

“No, it's not. Thank you anyway”

“You're welcome”

We keep walking until we get to the fucking bus station where we'll have to say bye in a while. And I know I'll meet her again in a few days but I also know it's gonna be different in Seattle. I mean, it is different now, here in San Diego, and it could have been even more different. In Seattle it's all the same and knowing me and knowing Angie's insight, it'll be the same for a while.

“That's mine, the third from bottom” Angie points towards a white bus with blue, red and yellow stripes on the side parked at the other end and that's where we head to, as I zip my jacket and pull up the hood over my head because of the cold morning wind.

“Uh I almost forgot” of course I didn't forget it, not even for a minute, I've been turning it in my hand inside my pocket for an hour.

“What?”

“Something for you, for the bus ride” I show her the cassette and I knew she's have smiled but I wasn't ready for that kind of wonder, I'm never ready for that.

“Is it your home?” she asks referring to our old conversation. She showed me her home, the songs she takes shelter in, and it'd be my turn now.

“Yeah, for some months now...”

“Your new home in Seattle, huh? I'm curious...” Angie looks at it although nothing's written on it, as if she could unlock its secrets from its blank cover. She doesn't understand all it takes is looking into my eyes: she believes I put my new life in Seattle on tape, whereas I was talking about the last few months I spent slowly and hopelessly falling in love with her.

“I didn't write titles of course”

“So that I can live the moment listening to it?” will I survive one week without her adorably making fun of me?

“Also” I reply and I must look not very amused because her voice changes, although I can't see why.

“Hey, I was just kidding... I like the idea of being surprised, I did it too”

“Hehe sure, I know, you're talking like I got upset or something”

“Aren't you upset?”

“No, why would I?”

“I don't know, you're strange”

“Strange? You mean, more than usual?”

“Hehe yes, you... you look sad”

“Well it must be because I am sad”

“Why? What happened?” her porcelain face becomes worried.

“What happened... what's happening here, now... you leaving...”

“Are you sad because I'm going back home?” Angie looks at me as if I spoke another language.

“Yeah... I mean, my little house on the beach will be empty again. And I'll miss you, you know” it takes me a lot to make this half admission and Angie doesn't react as I'm expecting.

“Hahaha shut up!” she basically blurts out laughing at my face as we make our way across the bus station.

“It's true”

“Oh Eddie, do you know what you need?” she sighs and asks what really looks like a rhetorical question.

“What?” you to stay?

“A girlfriend, Eddie. You really should find yourself one”

“Ah. D'you think so?” the conversation takes an unexpected turn.

“Yes”

“Well, ehm, yeah, maybe. It's not easy though”

“It'd be very easy for you, if only you didn't make your life so difficult”

“You're absolutely right about that”

“If you just stopped building castles in the air, maybe you'd realize it's easier than you think”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean you should shake off this idea of yours of the perfect girl and look around”

“Perfect girl?”

“Yeah, the girl who appears from out of nowher and turns your life upside down, who makes you lose your mind with a gesture or, how did you call it, a detail that drives you crazy. You said your problem was that you fall in love too easily. Well, it looks like the exact opposite to me. I'm not saying you should get with the first girl you meet but maybe you could stop staring at the pedestal waiting for someone to climb on it and give an opportunity to normal girls”

“Pedestal, but... what the fuck are you talking about?”

“All I'm saying is that if you stopped waiting for the mythical ideal girl, maybe you'd notice that the right girl for you is already there and she's right before your eyes but you don't even notice” she states as we get right in front of her bus, which is already surrounded by a small group of travellers and sleepy accompanying persons like me.

“Really?” I was almost getting mad at her but I like this part of her speech. I like it a lot.

“Yes, it could be someone pretty close to you, a friend you don't even consider” you think I don't consider you, you're so silly.

“Please forgive me, Angie, it's kinda early and I can't get all the shades and subtleties of the spoken language. Are we still talking hypothetically or do you mean someone specific?”

“I don't know, what do you think?”

“I don't know, I wouldn't ask you if I did”

“A specific person”

“Ok...” I take a step towards her.

“There's a girl who could, I mean, who is perfect for you, but you don't give a fuck about her”

“That's what you say” another small step.

“I say it 'cause I know”

“Maybe you're wrong” third step, at the third one I'll be all over her.

“I hope so, because she's such a gorgeous girl and you must be blind not to notice her. Apart from the fact she's beautiful and a force of nature, you basically love the same things and you should see the both of you when you talk. There's so much chemistry!” she talks very fast, too fast for six o'clock in the morning.

“Angie, who the hell are you talking about?” I'd love to think about a sudden boost of self esteem and confidence but I'm smellin' a rat.

“I already know what you're gonna say, you know? She's only a friend, I can't, blah blah...But that's your mistake, separating love from friendship, because before being lovers you have to be partners and friends, and you and Michelle have this deep connection that-”

“Michelle” it's not a rat, it's pure shit.

“You'd be perfect together”

“MICHELLE?!” I must have crazy eyes or maybe I'm screaming a little too loud because Angie flinches and backs up.

“Yeah! See? I told you, I bet you didn't even think about her!”

“Actually I didn't”

“Well you should!”

“Tell me you're kidding”

“Hehe no!” she laughs. She laughs. And I'm about to lose my patience.

“Angie, being with Mitch would be some kind of incest, I've known her for twenty years or something, she's like a sis-”

“She's like a sister, we're just friends, blah blah... just like I told you before! I knew that”

“So... you're saying the solution to all my problems would be getting together with my best friend who lives one thousand miles away from me?” I take a deep breath and try to keep calm.

“Long-distance relationships can work, if there's trust and love”

“Between Mitch and I there's no trust or love, nothing's there, Angie. Our friendship is too deep and apart from that she doesn't like me that way and I don't like her that way”

“You don't like her?”

“NOT IN THAT WAY!” I raise my voice again and as I look around I notice I caught the attention of the other passengers.

“You're an idiot, Eddie, let me tell ya” Angie shakes her head and pulls back up her backpack that was slipping off her shoulder.

“If that's what you think...”

“You're too fuckin' picky! I see you can do that but... I don't know, I can't work you out” why is she getting all worked up? I'm getting all worked up too.

“You're the one to talk” I can't hold back this time but my allusion goes unnoticed.

“I could understand you didn't want Violet, to a certain extent, because she was very distant from your world and you didn't have anything in common. But Michelle?! She's a musician, a surfer, a skater, likes sports, she's an environmentalist and socially commited! She told me about what she does, what you do, for homeless people. And the fact she knows you so well is a plus to me, because she knows how to approach you and take care of you, she knows your flaws and weaknesses and can understand you better than anyone else. But you... you don't wanna hear about it! I... Fuck, I don't know?! I'd be curious to know what a girl must look like for you to like her, since I know you I've never seen a girl you like, not even one by mistake. Who knows what did your exes look like? They must have been some kind of living goddesses to b-” Angie keeps talking and talking and at some point I stop listening to her because the more I listen the more I get mad so I just put an end to this bullshit in the only possible way: I reach for her nape, pull her head toward me and kiss her.

*************************************************************************************************************************************************

I'm swimming. Weird right? Even weirder is the fact I can perfectly breathe under water. And I don't even have gills! I know because as I look for Eddie in the dark depths of this, I don't know, sea? Lake? While I hear him calling me and try to reach him, I touch the side of my face and neck, expecting to find some kind of openings but nothing's there.

“Angie!” there is Eddie's voice again so I stop asking myself silly questions about my underwater respiration.

“I'm coming!” I answer as I move towards a bright spot in the distance. 'Cause actually I'm not really swimming, but I'm not walking either, it's something in between. The light turns out to be closer than expected and in a minute find myself in front of a small rusty spotlight pointing down towards the seabed. Following the light trail I finally find what I've been looking for.

“Angie...” I hear him calling again but more weakly. I dive-bomb towards Eddie's silhouette, slumped over between two rocks. Besides the amphibious skills, I'm clearly very strong too because I throw away one of the big rocks with one hand and I use the other to grab Eddie by his arm and drag him up with me as I swim towards the surface. The rise is very long, I'm fast but it seems to me I've been swimming for hours before I finally get out of the water. I hold on to the floating bed base and manage to climb on it, pulling Eddie up with me and saving him. But is he safe for real? I look at him and he's so pale, I try and shake him and slap him but he doesn't move.

“Eddie...” I lean on him to try and check his breath but nothing comes out of those sweet lips. The first aid classes I took finally turn out to be useful, although I wish I would never need those. I lift his chin tilting his head back as much as possible, I open his mouth delicately but quickly and check inside with my fingers to verify that the airway is clear and there's nothing that could be dangerous, I pinch his nostrils closed with my fingers and, always putting pressure on the jaw, I take a deep breath in and place my lips tightly over his to blow big and quick breaths. I back up and release his nose for five seconds then start it all over again, two, three, four times. I place two fingers on his strong neck checking for a pulse I can't feel, I lay my hand at the center of Eddie's chest and push for thirty times, as they taught me, using my whole upper body weight to provide all the force I have. I wanna cry but I can't, this is not the right moment. I go back to Eddie's lips, desperately trying to blow life inside him, when at some point I feel something weird: his mouth is not frozen anymore, it moves, his lips tenderly curve upwards. I pull away abruptly and I see him staring at me with his ocean blue eyes and a dimpled smile.

“You love me then?” he asked amused.

“YOU'RE AN IDIOT!” I yell at his face punching his pale chest, right where I pushed with my whole self a minute ago.

“Angie...” Eddie doesn't lose his cool, he keeps smiling at me and starts tracing the tips of his fingers across my back, first through my soaked t-shirt and then right under it.

“That's a pretty cruel prank to pull!” I scold him again, but he just rest his other hand on my shoulder first, then takes the lock of wet hair stuck against my cheek and pushes it away from my face “You scared me to death”

“I know you want to slap my face now, but I also know you'd be mad if I didn't kiss you again”

“I...”

“Angie...” with a delicate but quick gesture, Eddie pushes me sideways and turns me on my back, basically inverting our positions, and starts kissing me like a madman.

It's all strange and normal at the same time, everythings warm and bright and enveloping and I can hear music in the distance. But I can only hear the bass and percussions, as if it came from underwater or from another room, and I can't understand what song it is. It just makes me wanna dance. I pull away from Eddie and lean over towards the water's edge, trying to recognize the melody, but he doesn't like the parting. I can barely see the frown on his face before one last kiss, that's almost a bite, and before he throws me back into the water.

I can't see anything at all, all I see is me

That's clear enough

And that's what's important, to see me

My eyes can focus

My brain is talking

It looks pretty good to me

“FUCK!” I wake up startled, the taste of a kiss still on my lips and Sonic Youth raping my ears and brain.

“GOOD MORNING!” the kisser, actually the real life version of him, greets me snickering and I feel so fucking embarrassed for the adventures of my subconscious.

“WHAT... WHAT TIME IS IT?” I ask him the first thing that comes to mind just to avoid silence.

“IT’S TIME… hehe it’s time to get up” Eddie finally decides to end the torture but his dimpled smile only reminds me how close I was to those dimples in my dream.

“Ok, I’m gonna get up now” I hesitate a little more while Eddie explains how he tried to wake me up, then I actually get out of bed and reach for my backpack, I take my clean underwear and pretend to look for something else to avoid looking at him and see those lips that... Why am I like this?!

“I didn't write titles of course”

“So that I can live the moment listening to it?” I joke as I try to penetrate the cassette box with my eye to get to know the content in advance. I'm very curious about Eddie's home, I want to know him better. I know something about his music taste, I know The Who are his favorite band and he likes Butthole Surfers and Minor Threat. Either that or he's particularly attracted to their t-shirts aesthetic! I think he put some Fugazi too, together with Springsteen, Dylan and Tom Petty. Well, I can say I already have the whole Side A in my mind. But there's a whole Side B to discover and I can't wait to get on the bus, put the tape in my walkman and put earbuds on. Because, yes, I'm about to say bye to Eddie and I won't see him for a week at least but with this mix tape it'll be like having him with him all the time.

“Also” he replies with a strange voice. I look up at him and notice a frowned expression.

“Hey, I was just kidding… I like the idea of being surprised, I did it too” I thought he was used to my unpleasant sense of humor by now.

“Hehe sure, I know, you’re talking like I got upset or something”

“Aren’t you upset?”

“No, why would I?” maybe because you're being defensive.

“I don’t know, you’re strange”

“Strange? You mean, more than usual?” yes, because you're not crazy-strange, you're unhappy-strange.

“Hehe yes, you… you look sad”

“Well it must be because I am sad”

“Why? What happened?” I'm immediately alarmed. What if he saw Beth last night? Or maybe it's exactly the opposite, maybe he hoped to see her but she didn't show up...

“What happened… what’s happening here, now… you leaving…” me? What have I got to do with this?

“Are you sad because I’m going back home?”

“Yeah… I mean, my little house on the beach will be empty again. And I’ll miss you, you know” you'll miss me, sure. You'll miss somebody, having someone to talk to, but it's not like I'm the only person on the plante.

“Hahaha shut up!”

“It’s true” I know it's true for you. The problem is it's true for me too. And we've got all the premises for a disaster. We'd better change our way.

“Oh Eddie, do you know what you need?”

“What?”

“A girlfriend, Eddie. You really should find yourself one” that's when I start giving him some kind of lecture, although that wasn't my first intention. It's all his fault though! He's fuckin' asking for it, I mean, how can he not sense the connection between Michell and him? How can he say she's not his type? Why is nobody his type? How can it be? And why have a type anyway? I like tall movie nerds with a big nose but that doesn't mean I wouldn't give a chance to, I don't know, short music and surf lovers with a cute button nose. Is it possible he doesn't like anyone? Eddie's very handsome, no doubt about it, no one knows it more than me how hot this guy is. And he's also a good and mysterious soul, a passionate artist... I mean, he has it all. But if not even a knockout like Mitch is his type... I don't know what to think.

“You don’t like her?”

“NOT IN THAT WAY!” Eddie raises his voice all upset, drawing the attention of the other waiting passengers even more, after they've been following our discussion from the beginning.

“You’re an idiot, Eddie, let me tell ya” why do you have to make it all so difficult?

“If that’s what you think…”

“You’re too fuckin’ picky! I see you can do that but… I don’t know, I can’t work you out” if Violet's not his type, Michelle's not his type... I can only imagine what I look like to his eyes.

“You’re the one to talk” he mumbles and I see where he's getting at. He's the picky one whereas I'm the opposite, I'm the one who's always been chosen and never chose. I'm not saying my attitude is the right one, I think somewhere in the middle would be the ideal solution.

“I could understand you didn’t want Violet, to a certain extent, because she was very distant from your world and you didn’t have anything in common. But Michelle?! She’s a musician, a surfer, a skater, likes sports, she’s an environmentalist and socially commited! She told me about what she does, what you do, for homeless people. And the fact she knows you so well is a plus to me, because she knows how to approach you and take care of you, she knows your flaws and weaknesses and can understand you better than anyone else. But you… you don’t wanna hear about it! I… Fuck, I don’t know?! I’d be curious to know what a girl must look like for you to like her, since I know you I’ve never seen a girl you like, not even one by mistake. Who knows what did your exes look like? They must have been some kind of living goddesses to b-” Eddie gives me a skeptical look the whole time without blinking an eye, then disbelief turns into an actual frown and I suddenly have this déjà vu moment. But I don't have the time to remember where I already saw that frown, 'cause I get knocked down by a sort of hurricane, that lifts me off my feet and then throws me back down with a bang, leaving me with trembling knees and hands. I know Eddie's kissing me, I'm aware of that, I can clearly feel his lips slowly moving against mine, his hand caressing my hair, his fingers so dangerously close to my weak spot on the nape than the mere thought he touch it almost makes me lose my mind. I'm present to the moment I'm living right now and I wouldn't want to be anytime and anywhere else, but that doesn't mean I'm actually understanding what's happening to me. Actually, I can't find any trace of logic in all this, I start believing I never really woke up, that I'm still in Eddie's bed, wearing his Loser t-shirt, nomen omen the Latin would say... And maybe I'm right there because all of a sudden it seems like I can hear the rumbling sound of music in the distance, coming from a closed space: it can be the stereo of a car that's getting close, an after hours club, the powerful clock radio of a hard sleeper. I don't know where it comes from, I only know it sounds a lot like the one I heard during the dream and if I wasn't an atheist and a rationalist I'd start considering omens and oracles. But Eddie backs up slightly and when I open my eyes and meet his I definitely lose every sense of time and space.

“Too many words for six o'clock in the morning, Angie” it's barely more than a whisper against my lips.

“I... Oh my god, I'm sorry, it's... it's sleep deprivation, basically it's like I'm drunk. And you know that when I'm drunk I talk too much and use a lot of big words. Well, actually I haven't used any big words now, that must be an exclusive feature of alcohol consumption, but the chatty aspect is still there. That and snooping around into other people's business 'cause I generally not. Not because I'm a thoughtless uncaring person, of course, but-” Eddie's eyes are quizzical during my whole rant, until he decides to put an end to this as well, the same way as he did before. Eddie pulls me against him once again applying a soft pressure against my neck, then kisses me, burying his fingers in my hair completely and now I'm the one who forgets how to breathe. I'm the gasping one on the floating bed, while Eddie tries to revive me and ignores the fact he's the cause of my blackout. The 4/4 rhythm is still in the background, still the same, it doesn't get close or move away. My arms are limp, dangling at my sides, and I must look quite ridiculous but I don't really know where to put my hands and honestly I don't even know I have limbs right now and I'm not really sure about their real purpose. This drunk-like state continues until Eddie decides to take my lower lip in his mouth and start nibbling on it, before moving his tongue over it ever so lightly. That's when reality hits me like a cold shower. Only it's not reality but lucid insanity, so typical of me. Because as soon as Eddie slips his tongue between my lips and inside my mouth, I've got the feeling someone suddenly threw the door of the music room wide open or just threw me in there and everything's suddenly clear. And it's not Sonic Youth. And it's not Tom Jones either. It's Depeche Mode, performing on the roof of the bus.

When I'm with you baby

I go out of my head

And I just can't get enough

“Still too many words, huh?” I ask when Dave Gahan, fully dressed in leather, stops singing and just dances around Vince Clark, who plays keyboards like crazy.

“I think so” Eddie replies as he brushes his nose against mine shaking his head.

“Sor-” I can't even say one word and he's once again attacking my lips, pressing his body so hard against mine that my backpack falls from my shoulder and leaving very little space between us.

By now I remember I have arms, maybe because Gahan has just pulled them up over my head while we're dancing together and I wonder why isn't he sweating with those fuckin' leather pants because it's so fucking hot in here. I don't really know where I put my hands but when Eddie backs away from me and I open my eyes again, I see his hood's not over his head anymore and he's now circling and gently caressing my wrists with the tip of his fingers. I see it and feel it. Feel it too much.

“Interrupting a woman who's speaking is not really feminist, you know?”

“Isn't it?” he asks pretending to be surprised and alarmed. I answer shaking my head “Not even with a kiss?”

“Nuh-uh”

“Well, you have my apologies then, my princess”

“I accept your apologies”

“I'll wait for you to finish talking before doing it again”

“Great, that'll be better”

“Fine”

“Fine.” I repeat, then I stare at him in silence for a few seconds, still too many for my taste “I finished”

“Fine” he echoes before his passion washes over me once more with another kiss.

“Angie, it's time to go” Eddie says when I still have my eyes closed and am sitting at a bar, drinking smoothies with Depeche Mode, and for a moment, for the umpteenth time, but more convincingly, I really think I'm still in Eddie's bed, while he's calling me to get up because it's late. And I'll probably curse profusely because I'm about to miss the bus. Anyway, when I open my eyes I find myself at the bus station, right in front of the white bus that's gonna take me back to Seattle, a long series of faces smiling and winking at me as the passengers put their largest suitcases in the trunk of the bus.

“Huh?” I ask still woozy.

“The bus is about to leave”

“Uh! Ok, let's go” I try and come to my senses putting one foot in front of the other but something, or someone, blocks me.

“Angie?”

“Yes?”

“The bus”

“Yes”

“It's this way”

“Oh yeah, sure! Sorry, hehe, I'm still sleeping basically” I apologize and walk the right direction.

“Angie?”

“Yeah?”

“Your backpack” I turn around and see it on the ground next to Eddie's feet. He giggles as he takes it and walks up to me.

“Thank you” I gesture for him to give it to me but he keeps the bag and takes my hand, pulling me towards the bus.

Eddie literally has to take the ticket from my backpack and show it to the driver because I just can't, then gets on the bus with me and makes me sit down.

“Do you wanna put the backpack up here? I'll help you” he asks pointing at the overhead compartment.

“No, thank you, I'm gonna keep it here for the moment, then I'll think about it”

“I can help her too” a good looking woman around thirty with nice curly hair and red-framed glasses looks up from her book and smiles alternatively at me and Eddie.

“Thank you...”

“Ok, gotta go now or I end up going back to Seattle in advance instead of playing in Oakland”

“And Stone would kill the both of us”

“Exactly... Bye Angie, call me when you get home, ok?” Eddie bends down on his knees to give me another kiss who's barely there but it's not less effective than the others.

“Ok”

“Maybe even before that if you can, I guess you'll have other stops after L.A., right?”

“I think so... but maybe you won't be home and-”

“I don't care, leave me a message, I just wanna hear you, ok? Have a safe trip”

“Thank you, have... a nice... show” I answer in between kisses.

“See you in Seattle” after one last caress on my cheek and a kiss on my forehead, Eddie says bye to me and my travel companion and gets off the bus.

“I don't wanna be nosy, dear, but let me tell you: you're crazy”

“Excuse me?” I stop staring at the aisle where Eddie's just passed and turned towards the female voice who's just spoken beside me.

“You're crazy, leaving a guy like that alone on Valentine's Day” the woman goes on and nods at the window.

I look out and see Eddie pulling his hood back over his head and waving at me, before putting both hands in his pockets. I reply with the same gesture right when the bus starts to move. Valentine's Day? Who on earth ever thought of this?

#pearl jam fanfiction #grunge fanfiction #eddie vedder fanfiction #pearl jam #eddie vedder #stone gossard #jeff ament #mike mccready #alice in chains #jerry cantrell #sean kinney #chapters

39 notes · View notes

story-monster · 6 years

Text

Mawwage

I’M BACK

Dun dun duuuuuuun

I took a few weeks’ break to enjoy the married life, that dweam wifin a dweam.

Being married is AWESOME. I totally recommend it. Definitely worth taking a break for. But it does mean I’ve got a lot of catching up to do! There’s all these great stories about married life, the honeymoon (a Caribbean cruise…it was fabulous), moving houses, everything…things have been crazy. In fact, I shouldn’t be blogging at all. I should be cleaning or writing thank-you notes. (Er…what is the etiquette for those, anyway? I hope it’s not like within a month after the wedding or I am in big trouble. They are coming, I swear!)

This post today is about THE WEDDING.

There is SO MUCH to say about the wedding. This is going to be a BIG blog post. Brace yourselves.

We didn’t have much time to plan the wedding. It was a 2-month engagement. We are old and don’t mess around. Thankfully, I had The World’s Most Beautiful Wedding Dress™ already hanging in my closet, so I didn’t need to worry about that!*

*pictures below

I also put together style guides for all the vendors and bridesmaids and everyone involved. A style guide is basically a library of pictures and direction for what the project will look like. (Being an animation director teaches you things).

(The decorators looked at me like I was crazy when I handed this to them haha.)

The colors were white, ivory, and rose gold. I wanted to channel a very classy, vintage feel (with a touch of Mary Poppins.) I ended up loving these colors even more than I expected. They are just glamorous.

My cousin Melisa, a pastry chef, worked the cake, and Jen’s Bowdacious Bows worked on the floral and Waffle Love got reserved for catering and gosh everything just came together like a dream!

There were a few hiccups.

Like, I had no idea how much food to order. Mormon weddings are more of an open house, so you’re not quite sure how many people will show up. I stressed a bit over that.

300 less than what I ordered, it turns out.

The decorators were really frustrating to work with. (They were pretty unorganized.) I tried hard to not be a bridezilla…

But I was.

I ended up making the centerpieces.

Actually my friend Susan Arnita put the centerpieces together.

Look at how beautiful they turned out!

WOW

But I’m getting ahead of myself here.

FIRST: PICTURES!!

We got bridals/groomals done a couple of weeks before the wedding, on March 9th. This turned out to be a really good idea, because the weather was beautiful. Here are a few of my favorites:

(That DRESS, AMIRIGHT??)

^^Check out that leap. The Handsome used to be a BYU folk dancer and he has some grasshopper in his blood, I think.

Love the movement in that one

It was cloudy, but the sun came out at just the right time.

^^The picture is my favorite of them all.

GUH he’s SO dreamy <3 <3 <3

^^LOVE that bouquet. I wanted something that was glittery and pearly but soft and loose, not tight and ball-y like a lot of brooch bouquets and by golly, Jen delivered. She even made black leaves for it, it turned out sooo pretty. I have it in a vase on my kitchen table now.

I also let some of my goofy side show.

#constancehatchaway

The Handsome thought it was HILARIOUS. Our photographer, Patti Deru, was like: “I don’t understand it, but I like it!”

…but my poor mom was horrified. She didn’t want me to share these on social media.

Sorry mom.

The Handsome let some of his goofy side show, too.

Lol ^_^

Those were the bridals. (BTW, is bridals/groomals just a Utah thing? I had a couple of people asking if that was normal here. I’m actually not sure…I thought everyone did bridals, but I kind of live under a rock. Maybe someone can tell me in the comments.)

The wedding day came fast and not fast enough. A week before, the forecast looked like this:

Which was comforting.

I woke up around 5:30 AM and went to my hair person, Cindy Peterson, and she did my hair gorgeous.

I don’t have a close up pic of that but it was beautiful.

Then I headless chickened while getting ready, making sure I had my temple recommend, clothes, makeup, shoes, everything, before we headed to Salt Lake to get married here:

WOW

Didn’t take pictures inside (of course), but it was a really nice ceremony. I loved going into the sealing room and seeing the smiling faces of all my family. It made me all teary-eyed.

I nearly said “Yes” at the wrong time, and I was blushing crimson for the rest of the ceremony.

But it was still amazing.

We were released into the wild :)

The kids were so excited to see us. They welcomed Uncle Brent into the family.

Haha I have like a million nieces and nephews.

I inherited a new niece and nephew, too!

Ava, who’s 5, gave me a big hug.

I met Ava over Christmas, and she is so sweet. When she found out that I lived all alone in my townhouse, she was heartbroken.

And I was like:

And Ava was like

Hey, yeah! I could marry a homeless guy! Hahaha!

(Brent didn’t like that idea.)

Lololol. Kids are the best.

Magically, the weather held up. No rain or snow, but a storm blew up and made the pictures more interesting.

Me with my bridesmaids (and maid & matron of honor.) They were my sisters :) :)

I’m pretty sure Katie was there, too.

I had Jr. Bridesmaids too (my nieces.) They were fantastic!

It was so great to have all the family there.

After lunch at the Old Spaghetti Factory, it was RECEPTION TIME.

The church was really dolled up.

The cake, & waffles

I loved seeing all our friends and neighbors come through <3

Hahaha a big group of “Entwined” fans even came!

Awesome ^_^

My sis Emily played the piano.

She played all the best songs, everything from Mary Poppins and Chitty Chitty Bang Bang and Slipper and the Rose, it was a Sherman Brothers Spectacle. She knows just what I love #^_^#

The sign on the piano, it says: “All the Single Ladies – Please Take a Rose in Lieu of a Bouquet Throw.”

I didn’t want a bouquet throw at my wedding. I’ve never liked them–it’s just so sad that only one person gets the bouquet. I wanted everyone to have one. So, all the single ladies got roses.

They loved it :)

The cake cutting

Mmmm lemon raspberry.

(No face-smashing. My hands were shaking so bad it’s lucky I even got it into his mouth, lol.)

The Handsome surprised me with “Some Enchanted Evening.”

It was lovely and romantic. What a voice! (I’ll upload this recording to my youtube channel.)

And then, it was time for The Dance.

A few weeks before the wedding, I told The Handsome how much I wanted to dance the Cinderella Waltz at my wedding.

He was ON IT. (Seriously, what a dream boy!)

We spent a lot of hours getting it down.

I was sooo nervous…but it turned out great :)

youtube

A big thanks to all the people who sent me their recordings so I could cut it together.

End of the night. We made an exit.

That was magical too :)

AAAAH and the bridesmaids had decorated the car like a BOSS.

It was exactly the way a car ought to be decorated. It was gorgeous.

It had been a magical day.

Here’s to a lifetime of many more <3 <3 <3

(I really hope they’re less expensive, though.)

Thank you so much to everyone who came! I really loved seeing you all. There’s nothing better than to have the best people celebrate with you on the best day.

(Side note: some of the gifts didn’t have cards or we lost them. I’d love to send a thank you! Can you contact me if any of the gifts below are from you? (They really are lovely!))

And now…time to write those thank you notes.

Mawwage was originally published on Story Monster

20 notes · View notes

jigensass · 6 years

Text

Haha...so...therapist

I wasn’t going to need I said I will be okay I said.

So I came in, cool dude, old gay liberal, just a really chill dude we get to talking about stuff and we start poking around, briefly mentions about my drinking habits and we move into the meat and potatoes of this hour long adventure into madness: my anxiety and depression.

As most of you know I am on ADHD medicine and have been for the past week. My work life has been LOADS better (lab work goes my with no problems, my mind is at ease, and I'm not running around until 3 o'clock worrying whether my results came out okay. Walking into the lab without the meds was paranoia that I was not good enough for this job that I was a fluke and I belonged somewhere else at the bottom. That is apparently not the case with my bounds of knowledge (whatever it may be) makes me calm and collective when working and I get good results.

Now, let's pull the phrase "I'm not good enough" it's a common phrase I loved to sit on in wellllll let's refer to it as my past life we'll say that life is somewhere early college days all the way through high school.

I'm not good enough. But that's the thing, as a human being we always want to be good enough for someone or something whatever that may be. Maybe we are, we have the talents, we are gifted, and we understand how to gain what we need.

But then there are those jackasses in our lives who think that being sadistic motherfuckers by putting people down is 'okay' and 'a thrill.' I remember it was my junior year of high school that I wanted to try out for IMEA (it's an Illinois choir thing) It was my first year, so I wanted to give it a shot. This girl, who has been a prissy little-spoiled bitch turns to me and says 'you're not going to make it.' I told her 'fuck you' (well not LITERALLY) and I did. Now that I think about it a lot of people when I was in that small town high school thought they were so entitled to anything and everything. Yeah, people say that 'we change' from then and now we're adults and such. NO. You're not. I'm still listening to David Garrett and watching Yuyu Hakusho, two things I did when I was a teenager, you do not change because we find things we love and hold on to them, whether they be thoughts, ideals, or just basic things that we find OKAY to do. Like make people feel like the fifth wheel and not 'welcome' only when it's necessary to be part of the majority. There were a lot of people in my past who were Christians (and still are) who never reached out to me. EVER. For help or guidance. They stuck to their shitty basic white bitch clique and never invited anyone else. Now that I think MORE I never got invited to anything so I did the same. Maybe that is why I feel like in new places the world is out to get me and set me up to fail. (It took me a LONG time and a breakdown in my boss's office at my current job to realize that this was not the case.)

Also everyone single one of you have come to me for help or I have helped you. We are friends. It comes to me now when I first went away for college when people I met in two days knocked on my door and wanted me to go to the dining hall with them. My actual thoughts 'what you want ME to come eat with me? I have FRIENDS?' It truly did baffle me after high school about what a friend was and what good friends actually set up to do. I also remember liking someone and wanting to hang out with them all the time it got taken as a romantic interest. Maybe that was how lonely I was when I was a kid. Sure I played with the neighbor kid when I was little, but other than that....nothing outside of school. Except that one time I took someone with me to the movies. But people forget things and move on I guess. Maybe I was the person to be forgotten. Which it seemed like I was. I was deemed as the fool and nothing else by everyone. I sat and followed people around to be of no interest trying to find my own interest and just be the fly on the wall. Existing is easy, living is the hard part.

Another thing that I did bring up with the therapist is that my family did break apart quickly after I left for college (like a month cause my sister is really dumb). I specifically brought up this Thanksgiving where dinner was 20 minutes over a turkey pot pie and just a repeat of what I'm doing now except in the guest bedroom of my parents' house. It got his mind turning about that. It is possible all the emotional abuse just comes out subconsciously because it's just my default way of thinking.

Slowly over time I do remember I have people to turn to and some things 'aren't a big deal' but when I said I was emotionally abused, I probably was. Because I've seen that post of the person breaking the thing and they're going on that it's the end of the world and the other person comes by and in actuality, it's okay. Every time before now, I look at it and say 'that's me'.

I also may have emotionally abused my first boyfriend as well now to be honest. Because I thought it was OKAY to do those things because my dad emotionally abused me as well from time to time ( not as bad as high school but I remember it being there) and he did it to my mother as well.. Looking back, I feel bad for him.

Also, my favorite phrase as of late has been 'I'm sorry' my bosses will vouch it is. Sorry for what? I don't know, just the default response. Now I know why. Because every time I messed up in the past, people made it feel like it was MY FAULT. I always got stuck doing things, thus it was MY FAULT. If I failed, it was a failure and was MY FAULT. everything? MY FAULT? Cancer? MY FAULT.

I discussed this with someone recently that I could never show my true self because I would be a monster. Well, surprise that monster is overcoming my emotional abuse with rage and fire.

And if I seem to be a monster or the worst person ever. TELL ME. I'm not a mind reader.

Maybe that's another reason I have anxiety. Nobody tells me anything that I'm doing wrong or could be doing better. They would sit and snicker and not help me improve. Or chastise me for being terrible.

I digress: I'm going to take another session with his recommendations (meditation, off-hand wriiting ((research apparently shows if you need to vent or something, write with your non-dominant to get it out. I tried it when I got home and it does work well for me at least) and if any thing else arises, I'll stick with a few more rounds until these past issues get resolved.

#out of the sanctum

5 notes · View notes

selfcareparker · 3 years

Note

yesss the letter format 💝💓💘💖💞💕💖💞💓 (lovely anon)

my dearest aria (a hamilton reference lmao),

i’m home alone (bc i wanted the house alone to get my head together after my brothers were mean to me 🙃) and i’m so hype LMAO but i’m watching chloe x halle’s tiny desk concert and honestly just vibing. (this is so random) besides zendaya like they are my badass black women role models. my one accomplishment would be to learn to body roll like them LMAO

oh nevermind i can’t have anything nice, my dad just came home 🙃 WHAT A WAY TO START OFF THIS ASK WTFFF

i’m liking tfatws, the second episode was veryyy intense imo but WANDAVISION IS SO GOOD😭 i knew it was going to be my favorite from the really old trailer but it’s really good and i promise it’s not just sitcoms, girl especially cuz you’ll have all the episodes already out- we were having to wait every week😭 BUT ITS SO GOOD I PROMISE HDJSHDJSH lmao reading this i was like “i- the episodes aren’t an hour long” but i feel that, it’s hard for me to watch tfatws bc they are an hour long and i’m like 😐 but wandavision episodes are less than 30mins bc I KID YOU NOT they have the damn 10 MINUTE CREDITS DHDJSJ no i don’t think we’ve talked about this b4 lol but it all depends on the series for me. i binged love island uk in less than a week bc i was so invested and LITERALLY LOVE IT but uh those episodes are like an hour and a half, but say i was binging tfatws (it’s so hard to type that ohmigosh) i honestly would not be able to do it bc of the intensity (you may be like what intensity but if you’ve seen episode 2 by the time you’re reading this.......... isaiah and the scene afterwards is all i have to say, esp me being black it was so tough :/)

girl you’re fine, as long as you’ve experienced it once hahaha i think the reason why it’s so important to my family (this letter feels so personal and extreme HSJSJA IM SORRY) is bc my grandmother loved it and in my family i guess it’s just important to us lol like my mom and dad love it too and we have the literal VHS tapes LMAO, but it only came up recently cuz my youngest brother was watching lion guard HAHA and he wanted to see the originals :) and fun fact (unless you already know) but there’s a lion king part 2 and 1 1/2 and i have all three ON VHS HAHAHA but i love lion king 1 duh (the og) but part two’s music and love story..... is so good. anyway. 🦁

I WAS THINKING THE SAME THING DURING THE WHOLE MOVIE THEATER ENCOUNTER THING HAHAHA AND WHEN SHE WAS SAYING AWKWARD I WAS LIKE WTF THE NOISE LMAOOOO i don’t think there’s a better way to describe that whole situation than ZKDHDJSHAJAJSHDJSNAHA. yeah. yeaaaa at the cinemas (i like the word cinema more than movies 🥰) here they have chips (fries), some have ice cream, nachos, drinks, hot dogs, the cinema we were at had pretzels and like BURGERS I WAS LIKE HUH OKAY and ya know obviously popcorn but i don’t know why the theaters (or cinemas) here do that, it started a long time ago though like yearsssss

PLEASE i have the longest movie watchlist and uhh haven’t seen any of them JDJSKA (istg i use HSJSSKSH as a period - like . ) i’m still hype for cherry but very hesitant (idk if i can handle it) but i’m thinking about watching it in the next couple of weeks? i know it’ll take me forever bc i’m gonna have to keep pausing and shit but idk. i’ve asked around for very specific trigger warnings and time stamps so i REALLY know what’s coming (even if it spoiled the film a bit for me) but i do really wanna see it (i think? writing this now i’m not so sure lol) so whooooooo really knows lol, but chaos walking YES i was really excited about it :))) and about my friend uhh dude you don’t sound mean at all i was literally thinking the same thing but worse HAAKL idk what she was there for???? she bought my ticket tho so 💁🏾‍♀️ whatever

“SIMS ahh, BUNK BEDS ahh” had me cracking up lmao and you know my sims status JAJAHHAJ but i’m gonna become like you, saving every 5 minutes 😭 but that’s exactly what happened to me, i really didn’t know whether to shut it off or not but after 2 hours i was heartbroken lol i’m literally making a list of things i need to redo that wasn’t saved lmao

CAN I JUST SAY UR A MASTERMIND THOUGH??? UR SIMS GAME SOUNDS SO *chefs kiss* IM CRINE university is PAINFULLY long and LITERALLY I FEEEL THAT like you can’t do anything else without failing, i had my sim go to a party once for like a few hours and i felt so dumb afterwards like urgh he should’ve been studying LMAOO just cracking down on work honestly. UR NEIGHBOR!AU IN THE SIMS PLEASEEE i am very much in love with it, yes. (pouring rain has just suddenly begun where i am rn wow ok) i love that you put them on the same lot, that was really really smart and i love that ur living out your sexuality in the sims😭 i was abt to say “now you can say you’ve got experience bc of the sims” but ANYWAY IGNORE ME fhdhs THE ALIEN BABY DHSJSK i hope it’s not a dealbreaker for enisa. that’d be tragic. IM BACK IN UPPERCASE THO BC YES MAKING OUT IN THE SIMS IS SO HOT TO ME??? I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY ONE STFU OH MY GOSH- all the stuff, whispering sweet nothings, and the making out, and JUST ALL OF IT!!! AM I TOUCH STARVED????? there was this time i made my sim just continue to woohoo bc it was turning me on big time. ANYWAY

half way through that i had to go to my grandmothers house (not the one that likes lion king, but uh hmm idk if you remember but i was talking abt my shit family so yeah that grandmother lol) so now i’m finishing this 🥴 and instead of chloe x halle i’m watching a tom interview lmao & if this takes me longer than 30 minutes.... imma cry

I REALLY WANNA ASK- IS IT BC UR GERMAN LIKE YOU CAN JUST WRITE OUT THAT LONG ASS WORD???? i mean i can’t write out supercalafrag- anyway, but that word is a bit nonsense, UR WORD IS A REAL WORD DUDE HDJSHS i love how ur like “maybe i mixed up these words” YEA OK.

lol i had to google what are waveformers lol (lol makes a comeback) and they look like curlers that you would sleep in (here we would call them curlers or uhm i forgot uhhhhhhh rollers i think) but ur fine when am i ever making sense?? i think the best part about these is the chaos yet we understand what the other means 😌

H20 H20 H20 OH MY GOODNESS SHE BROUGHT UP H20 OK MY LIFE WAS H20🥲 I HAVE THEIR LOCKET NECKLACE AND (short storytime) when i was younger i thought they were american despite their accents (idk i was dumb) but then i figured they weren’t when lewis went to go study in america HAHAH ALSO FAVORITE COUPLE CLEO AND LEWIS UGH WATCH ME REWATCH THE SHOW NOW THANKS (also i hated elizabeth so much) but anyway back on topic, when lewis went to go study in the US i looked up where the show took place and all that good stuff and i found out they were australian HAHAH and that started my obsession with accents LMAO the uk :’)) (i’m proofreading AND AUSTRALIA IS NOT A PART OF THE UK LMAOO IM SOO DHSJSSHS) also it is now one of my many goals (besides the body roll HAHAH) to go to mako island (that’s what it’s called right??)

about music, i googled stormzy and i might listen to a song of his.. LOL I WANNA GIVE IT A TRY IMMA DO IT FOR YOU NFDVSFSG lmaoo the german rapper had me cackling (autocorrect once again being helpful and said raper and i’m like nOO) i mean we all have that one person. can’t lie, won’t lie. my one (IM SORRY BUT AUTOCORRECT HAD “MY ONE TRUE ACCOMPLISHMENT” SITTING AND READY HDJSJA I DONT EVEN TYPE THAT wHAT) person out of my white soft boy with brown hair and brown eyes type would beeeee pete davidson. love me some petey. i was gonna say rex orange county as well lmao but i don’t really loveeee him i’m just in love with his music... and wanna be friends with him..... so 👉🏾👈🏾 (i never do that fdshsh)

oh my goodness, i love tattoos too- GASP what are you thinking of getting 🥺 i want tattoos too but i’m too indecisive to figure out what to have & where. especially in my family... idk they aren’t frowned upon but my mom’s not applauding the thought lol, if i got one it would have to be meaningful but i am absolutely in love with (for example) ariana grande’s finger tattoos !! they’re so cute and simple :’) i don’t even know if i can get tattoos? my skin is... interesting. not in a bad way!! just like.... idk how to explain it??? keyloids run in the family & i got a piercing once and it got infected soo :/ the doctor also confirmed that if i wanted tattoos they couldn’t be in color so LMAO

ONCE AGAIN THIS WHOLE THING FEELS SO TMI DHSHSSJ IM LIKE OHMIGOSH SHUT UP SHE DOESNT CARE JESJSKS

in regards to you not sleeping, i wanted to mention that dumb bird, what was the reason it was up so early aT 4AM???? SIR WHO YOU CALLING TO??? also it’s 11:30pm and idk why i’m tired???

yeah i was never SUPER into justin so i don’t know exactly what albums you’re talking about lol, i do know yummy though.. but everyone did hahaha also i listen to so much pop 🙈 i mean maybe... idk what would count as pop and what wouldn’t. that new person feeling though.. i get that. it’s like who is this new person..? i kinda feel like that with taylor swift (i was never THAT into her either though so it’s like oh wait i didn’t know you from the beginning instead of hello old friend but you’re different lol)

about the concerts, thanks 🥰🥰 that’s so sweet what you did for your mom too, it’s nice seeing them so happy like 🥲 awh AND GLEE IS AND WAS MY LIFE FOR A V V LONG TIME, i’ve been meaning to rewatch it for the longest time lmaooo but i’m just so lazy and it’s such a commitment... i’ll have to get emotionally involved again and idk if i want that rn. but i have a friend on instagram and she runs a glee fan account and it’s such a big part of her life i really don’t think i could ever be THAT obsessed with something. like another one of my friends loves tom holland so much that she changed her mom’s name in her phone to what tom’s mom’s name is in his phone (that was confusing lol) and obviously i’m not judging them AT ALL, it just couldn’t be me lol

CONCERTS LOOK LIKE SO MUCH FUN 😩😩 LIKE THE EXPERIENCE AND THE FEELINGGG URGHSJS i wanna see a few people live like ari and chloe x halle and- hmm.... idk who else FJDSJ rex orange county i guess huh anyway, the experience just sounds so amazing and the atmosphere is just ✨✨✨ yeah

aria do it do it do it do it do it- watch hamilton!! but with subtitles bc you won’t catch half of the things they’re saying without them LMAO (me and my family watched it and they all didn’t like it bc they didn’t know what was happening lol) BUT DONT WATCH IT AT 4AM LMAO ITS LITERALLY 3 HOURS LONG

yes!! superior peter fics 🥺🥺🥺🥺 and it just shows how much of an incredible writer AND PERSON you are through your fics that you can turn a blurb into 2k....... like what.

LMAO the annoying thing, sometimes i feel like i’m bothering people (like right now HAHAH) but i think it’s my antisocial side being like yeaa no one wants to talk to you like you wanna talk to them :’) idk it’s strange!! sometimes i get really ✨insecure✨ and overthink everything LOL like is this too long, im talking too much, i’m swearing too much, oh lord i’m a pain, all that good shit lmao so that’s fun:))

ALSO YOUR BLOG IS SO FUN TO ME HAHAK LIKE ITS JUST YOUR OWN AND I LOVE THAT!!! like you talk about everything and anything on here lol,, and i say that bc what you said lmao how if i was someone else i would want to fuck me so bad😭 i honestly don’t understand how i don’t have people lining up though..... but if no one’s gonna tell you... then you tell yourself, period (and sometimes telling yourself is fucking yourself HSHAJKS OK NEXT)

ohmigosh the realization you had that you graduated last year and are going to uni this year🤧 but the fact that you had a teacher who LEFT THE GROUP CHAT bc she was mad at y’all i- 😭 but yeah about your maths (i always wondered why you guys call it maths and the US calls it math. like i know so many people out of the states, not just in the uk that say maths) teacher- i saw this post that said online school is looking a lot like dora the explorer😭😭 “you have any questions?” 🦗 “okay bye then” lmao and please i love when tests have nothing to do with what you studied like ??? thanks? sometimes i get scared that my teacher will somehow find out that i googled everything? or like my answer is too close to the answer sheet or something. i get sooo nervous lol but i’m already past that point of not being able to do anything myself DHJS i mean i’m still learning like i said!! read the question, read the answer. boom. now i know the answer to the question and i learned!

THANKS 🙈🥰🤧 idk how else to explain my feelings LMAO i feel it’s cool that you find my dance lessons and voice lessons cool so thanks :’)

oh god not headache season 😭😭 allergies are the worst like it’s not even funny. is headache season just when the seasons are changing or is it like... all throughout the summer? cuz i love the summer lmaoo i love the winter too but i just love wearing as little clothes as possible LMAO

GIRL IF THAT BIRD DONT STOP CHIRPING- i am 100% convinced that it is the same bird trying to give you headaches and no sleep and it needs to stfu 😤 and pLEASE ur theme is adorable and pretty and cute but also it just feels like you? idk if i’m explaining this right or if it’s bc i’ve been talking to you for a bit but it’s cute but not innocent in a way that i’m surprised that you write smut and- yeah, that didn’t make sense!! but ur new theme is gonna look pretty too and as long as you like it, it’ll be amazing🥰

yessssss the fact that megan is gonna be ur pfp YES JUST YES

edit: ok i just need to 🥺😭 sometimes u make me wanna cry cuz i feel like you’re just a kind person. i truly mean this, the fact that you celebrate yours & others stretch marks makes me so 🥺🥺🥺 i honestly don’t know anyone who has said they want need more stretch marks and it’s just all very lovely to me :’)) OKAY IMMA STOP BEING SAPPY

#yes my fake tags are back #by popular demand #aka me #and look i have actual tags this time! #i’m seriously craving water ice rn....... huh #but it’s past midnight and i fr fr want a snack #aw man #i wrote that last paragraph while doing my tags yes #and i hope you become responsible for that anon’s orgasm #assuming they had one #and i saw your response to the tom thing and yeaa when they only look like that for something and it’s like aw bae be yourself #i’m gonna shut up now and find a snack but goodnight!! morning?? IDK #IF THESE TAGS END UP AS ACTUAL TAGS I AM SO SORRY HAHAHA #alright proofreading done and i’m gonna go eat cereal

okay i‘m on my way to a driving lesson rn and afterwards i have a zoom uni thing, and then another uni thing lmao. but hopefully i can reply to this in between because i‘ve been dying to talk to you since i got this ask dldjds💘💘💘 (i really like this heart. i had a 💖 phase for a while and now it‘s 💘 (seems like a very romantic heart but.... it is what it is idk dkddj)

^okay that was literally all i wrote before my lesson lmfao. just had the worst driving lesson ever dbdvsnylkxsksj i think i‘ve gotten too used to being good at driving and now i‘ve gotten too cocky with it 🥴 anyway i‘ve had such a stressful day and overall week but tbh i‘m already feeling better bc i can (indirectly) talk to you <333

omg i went to chloe or halle (i don‘t remember who out of the two)‘s instagram the other day and found out that they are not twins alejeleksjsksj but yes oh my god their voices are literally angelic and i can‘t wait to see Halle as Ariel (Arielle??)🥰 and omg it‘s literally 2021 and we‘ve only had......... one(?) black Disney Princess like it‘s about fucking time (I might be forgetting someone, I‘m not too familiar with the new Disney films, but as far as I remember there‘s only Tiana right? (who is literally a frog for 3/4 of the film 😭😭) so yes i‘m here for it too😌😌😌 (obviously she‘s not a cartoon like tiana ekdlek but she‘s a disney princess you know what i mean ddkjdh)

pfkejdj i‘m already overwhelmed with my parents i can‘t imagine having siblings too 😭😭 (sometimes i wish i had siblings but then other times (like after reading what you wrote dksjj) i‘m glad that i‘m an only child lmao like your brothers being mean to you and i remember when you cried and he was just like 👁👄👁 ok. like i’m totally okay being an only child sksjsj———and he doesn‘t listen to music 🤧🤧🤧 (although i guess that‘s good for you because at least he can‘t annoy you by listening to loud music that you hate dmdn)

okay okay i might watch wandavision then??? I‘ll definitely let you know!!! and yes omg i‘m loving tfatws (that really is so fucking hard to type omg) but same i totally get what you mean, i‘m not used to watching action series at all and every episode so far has been like a little movie so i‘m glad that i didn‘t wait until it was all out cause there’s no way i could binge watch that lol) and yes last episode was really intense. i‘m glad that marvel are talking about racism because (from what i‘ve seen) they haven‘t been the best in that department, and i‘m really curious to see what they‘ll do in the next episodes (curious isn‘t the right word but excited isn‘t the right wort either, like i‘m excited but in a neutral way ? i‘ll shut up dslsksj i hate that german has so many words that you cant translate because theres a really good german word that describes how i’m feeling but i cant think of a good translation ugh)

okay i absolutely need to watch lion king (and part 2 and 1/ 1/2 dksksj) AND hamilton, i might even do it soon 👀

BURGERS AT THE CINEMA? EBEEISNDBEKSK i‘ll come to the US just to go and watch a movie lmaooo, i think all the popcorn sizes and drinks are bigger as well, i‘ll come and watch chaos walking with you 😌😌 does next week work?

and yeah i‘ve seen posts with specific time stamps and trigger warning for cherry too so if you haven’t looked on tumblr yet i’ve def seen some! (but ive also seen some on twitter and yeah- i mean idk youve probably looked on tumblr but yeah- then there’s also imdb which doesn’t have time stamps i believe but quite specific warnings, mostly without spoilers!)

Tbh i don‘t think i would have even considered watching cherry if tom wasn‘t in it... (i’m personally fine with most of the triggering topics/things like for some reason i’m just stoic when i’m watching the most tragic films ever dldldldlbut the plot just... idk if it‘s for me you know? just entertainment wise?).... and even with tom in it i‘m unsure skeldls, i‘d totally get if you decide not to watch it but let me know if you do i‘d want to hear your thoughts! <3

SKSLSJJ my sims both finally graduated!! i think i played sometime last week, and i literally got the achievement/notification that i‘d been playing with this household for 24hours.... and that was BEFORE they graduated dldjdldkdksjjs

oh no my tumblr broke and three paragraphs of me talking about sims were deleted 😭😭😭

WAIT NO I TOOK SCREENSHOTSSKSK because i couldn’t press save so i knew they might be gone okay okay okay i‘m a genius

*move out

oh no idk if the quality is too bad to read... idk how good your eyes are dkdkdjjd (also sometimes it will be really bad quality for some but not for others so i hope that the you can see the pics in a normal/good quality)

Okay let me continue

OMG THE ROMANTIC AND SEXUAL STUFF IS THE BEST PART ABOUT THE SIMS DIDLDKJIkdkj i kind of miss how in the sims 3 they would be making out basically lying on top of each other if they were on a bed— but in sims 4 when they‘re sitting next to each other and everything that‘s definitely hot too 😌😭 or with hot tubs dkdkdk how one sim climbs on the other sim‘s lap before they woohoo (i used to make them skinny dip in the hot tub and then make out and woohoo so they’re like naked on top of each other even if you can‘t see anything- en e waysss)

Dkdkdkdj so @ Rindfleischet.. blah bla. so it‘s basically just loads of individual words put together/connected and that‘s a really big part of german. so yesterday i had an online Einführungsveranstaltung for uni (like it was a zoom meeting where they just talked about general stuff about the uni and i was really anxious before, idk why, but it turned out absolutely fine so) and that words consists of the two words Einführung (introduction) and Veranstaltung (event) which are also two individual words but you can make a new word (Einführungsveranstaltung, so in english that‘s basically “introduction event“ lmao) by combining those two words. there are obviously some rules like you can‘t just combine random words in a random order but you can basically make infinite words (technically). for example (i feel like i‘m teaching a class just skip this if you don’t care 🙃🙃🙃djdjdkdlns)

for example i could say Einführungsveranstaltungsteilnehmer (which is not underlined with red by tumblr because it is a grammatically correct compound word (i think that‘s what they‘re called?)) which is the words introduction + event + participant, so that word just means “participant of an introductory event“ but instead it‘s one word? i hope that makes sense? dkdkkdksks i mean it makes sense in german but idk if it makes sense to you cause idk if i‘m explaining it very well lmao,

(I just deleted a really really long paragraph that i wrote about gender in the german language and grammar, you‘re welcome slsksksj)

my capacity to think has now been used up for the week 🥴🥴🥴 i absolutely do not blame you if you just skipped over that part or can‘t be bothered to (re)read my awful explanation edkflsksjdjdj (again, i had double the amount of words but i just deleted it dkdkdlslsl but what‘s left lf my german lesson is probably confusing enough already😭i‘m sorry🥴)

so to answer your question LEJDKSKJ: it‘s really common to have long words in german, words that are just word+ word+ word + word made into one long word. obv rindfleischetikettierung..... is a very extreme example and it‘s normally just 2-4 words made into one! So yup i think that comes mostly from german and talking german and growing up here and going to school here and everything dmdfnsksx

i think the best part about these is the chaos yet we understand what the other means 😌— YES. YES. Yes. I love that about us 😌😌🥰🥰/ I love us. Yes.

okay but your friend changing her mom‘s name into tom‘s mum‘s name (was that right? Dkdkdjh)—— so Justin Bieber once posted something where you could see that his Dad‘s number was saved as „Daddy Cakes“ (which, thinking back, sounds very weird ekejjej) and till this day I have my Dad’s contact name as Tata (which is serbian for Dad lmao), “Tata🍰“ in my phone because of it 😭😭😭😭🙃🙃🙃 it‘s not because of justin anymore like i‘ve just gotten used to it by now but at first i did it because of justin lol........ but nowadays i don‘t think i‘m THAT type of fan of anyone- like you know how people have fandom names (Justin‘s fans are the Beliebers, One Direction fans are Directioners (writing that hurt my soul💔💔💔)) and I wouldn‘t consider myself a fan of anyone like that. like even with tom i wouldn‘t call myself........ does tom even have a name for his fans??? Well if he does, I wouldn‘t call myself that. Like i used to be such a hardcore stan for any celebrity that i liked and now it‘s just... okay, i like em. (She says on her blog where she writes fan fiction about Tom Holland — WJDJEJDKELSKSKKSNSNDXB🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃)

Omg rex orange county!!!!!! I don‘t know that many songs like I‘ve only listened to the album pony, but i love it 💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘

thanks again for what you said about my fics/writing I‘m🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

Pete Davidson Pete Davidson Pete Davidson I‘m-🥰🥰🥰🥰 and I can‘t explain why. But as blissfulparker said the other day (i don‘t want to tag her and make her read through all of this lolll) “I like my men when they look like they are on the brink of death 😍“ (or something along the lines of that) eskkejs okay pete isn‘t that bad, he looks quite good on some days but other days you‘re like... is this man alive? Like i don‘t want to be mean I love Pete so much The King of Staten Island is literally my favourite film ever (although it‘s not my #1 because of how he looks, but i mean he does look good) VUT ALSO

(Okay i was gonna look for a terrible picture of him but he really doesn‘t look as bad as people say??? like. i think he‘s hot. can‘t necessarily explain why. so that‘s that on that.)

i‘m not going chronologically right now (i just keep scrolling up to your ask and replying to whatever i see first sksksksh) so i might miss a thing or two that you said

Okay Stormzy, you really really don‘t have to dkdkdjd like i think you said you don‘t really listen to rap, and uk rap is a whole nother thing from us rap because of the accent i feel like??? (That sentence did not make sense) BUT if you‘re looking for a few songs that aren‘t like RAP rap, then I‘d recommend One Second (feat HER), Superheroes, Own it (which you might know?), ummm maybe the song Lessons?, he has a ton of Lion King references by the way dkdjdj for example in Rachael‘s Little Brother but that‘s like more RAP again if you know what I mean?😭 and it‘s also like 5 Minutes long and tbh i only started liking that song a year after that album came out lmao but Rachael‘s Little Brother is possibly my fav Stormzy song, then there is Shut Up which you absolutely need to listen to just for fun dldjdjd like it‘s just pure fun and also a little funny lmao, especially if you‘re not British (i imagine so at least) cause he‘s like shuTTTT up idk dldkdjdldkjdhdhfjfbfldlsksksks

Vossi Bop is one of his classics, and then maybeee - ok so there‘s Blinded By Your Grace Pt. 2 lmaoobdjsj it‘s very (Christian/) religious but i like it a lot even though i‘m not really Christian (at least not practicing or anything) so idk about your views on religion but i do like the song a lot just by like the sound lmao

Okay so again you absolutely DO NOT have to listen to any, especially not for me dlskdj but I really do recommend the songs Superheroes, One Second and Rachael‘s Little Brother (and all the other ones i mentioned but if you don‘t listen to a lot of his songs you should at least give these three a try <3333) also let me know some of your songs? 🥺 like i dont care who they‘re by but i‘d love to listen to some that you like and Recommend 🥰🥰🥰

Okay so skdjdjdjddhhddhdhjsk... I used to watch all of my series in German (like H2O) bc obviously they were on german tv so they were german- and i knew that most of these actors i saw on tv were american and i was always SO fascinated that they all learned german for this show??? Like I actually thought they were the people‘s real voices and that these English and American actors were learning german so they could re-record the whole ass show and do everything in german dkdkdldjdjjd... i swear I thought that until I was like 14 omg. And then the first time that I watched H2O in the original version i was sooo confused about their accents because to me all actors who spoke english were American?? I mean MOST of those shows are American so I wasn‘t completely off but yeah i was definitely caught off guard when I heard all of their Australian accents for the first time 💀💀😭😭😭

@ math vs maths, math actually makes more sense in my opinion. like you have the word mathematics, then the abbreviation would obviously be math... why would English people randomly add the s from the end??? Or maybe it makes more sense after all because it‘s like plural??? Now I‘m unsure dkdkdkdj but i do say maths because that‘s how i was taught to say it and i hear the word maths more than math but yeah dldkdjs i think math might even make more sense (okay i just tried saying math and maths is easier to pronounce but again tjat might just be me, oh god i‘ll stop talking about that disgusting thing (mathematics).)

not the crickets and dora LMAOOOSNSNSMDNBS yeah that teacher was... a lot. a lot a lot a lot didjjd but she kinda liked me so she always gave me good grades/marks but the people she didn‘t like..... ooft. OOF.

Fksksjsj idek about headache season like i just know that i get headaches from the sun and i‘m allergic to only one.. type of...pollen??? (I don’t understand the science of that whole pollen thing and idek if it’s called pollen in english i just know sex pollen from fan fics😔)and yeah we have this weird wind that makes a lot of people get headaches yeahd dkdkdj. i loved the i just love wearing as little clothes as possible LMAO lllioool i love that i really do. i always struggle so much in the summer cause i never have anything to wear. i feel like i buy so many new summer clothes every year but when i end up looking for an outfit i don‘t ever find anything 😭 (so i just go naked— lmao jk jk) but i‘m generally not the biggest fan of summer so-

OMG THIS FUCKING BIRD ISTG, okay the first time i heard it i went to sleep at like 5 am, so the next day i was like let me go to bed earlier so the bird doesn‘t keep me up, so i went to bed at 4 am (🥲) and THE BIRD JUST STARTED FUCKING CHIRPING SO LOUDLY, so the next day i went to bed at 3 am AND IT FUCKING STARTED AT 3 AM and it‘s still there 😁 every. night.

and since you said you‘ve gotten used to my theme and everything (idk where this transition came from😭) so tomorrow (2nd april) we have our... wait what‘s an anniversary but for a month.? I think month is like mensus in latin OK NO THATS DEF WRONG DKDKDJ wait

So Tomorrow is our... mensiversary💘💘💘💘💘💘 or at least from the first time you sent an ask. i couldn‘t find it on my tumblr anymore because tumblr is a bit of a bitch but i remember the first thing you ever sent (in an ask) was something lovely about my writing and i always take screenshots of stuff like that, and i found it in my gallery. and i took that screenshot of your ask on the 2nd of march so i‘m assuming that‘s when you sent it 🥰🥰 i feel like i‘ve known you for a week not a month like how is it a month already????? (i mean this in a good way lmao but i really can’t believe that its been a month wtf)

omg no you make me want to cry because i just love you so much 😭😭🥺 but about the stretch mark thing it‘s just.. it‘s not even me trying to empower other women (or anyone else who has stretch marks) to shake off these dumb insecurities that the patriarchy and capitalism have instilled in us— ok no it‘s definitely that too lmao. But i mean I‘ve always loved stretch marks, i‘ve just always loved loved loved them so much so it makes me genuinely sad that people don‘t like them. so yeah. i dont really know how to explain it lol, like i‘m not (only) hoping that people realise that hating your stretch marks is giving the men and the patriarchy what they want per se- (that made no sense) it‘s just because i love stretch marks and think they‘re beautiful and also sexy. idk dldkdjls and omg the fact that you called me kind 🥺🥺🥺 like i don‘t really have a goal in life or anything, but if i had to choose a ‘goal‘ in life it would just be to be kind. (i‘ll end this here otherwise i‘m gonna talk about being kind for 30 more lines—)

And please. Do not ever feel like you‘re annoying me or sending too much. never ever ever. I get so happy when i see that you‘ve sent me an ask. No matter if it‘s a long one like this or just a short one where you‘re saying something about a post that i reblogged or something. I love hearing from/about you and talking to you 💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘

P.S: i‘m so sorry for the tags you‘re about to read they make even less sense than this post, also i reached the tag limit dkdkdj but i said some butterfly tattoos look tacky... and the next thing i said was since we‘re already speaking about Ariana- I DID NOT MEAN THAT SHE WAS TACKY dldkdjsj, i meant since you already mentioned some of her tattoos lmao

#lovely anon #<3 #ALSO I LOVE YOUR TAGS SM DKDJDKDL #i definitely (accidentally) didn‘t say something about every single thing you said #but this is so long already and i don‘t want to force you to read even more of my shite dldkdjsj #(i dont day shite i say shit but sometimes shite sound funnier)#*say #omg its too mate to speak english what i meant was i‘m sire i forgot to adress some of the things you said but i tried my best iwjwskb #omg adress (address? lmao) sounds so negative i mean i‘m sure i forgot to reply to some things- also *late not mate loool #omg ignore my whole german lesson i cant believe i actually wrote all of that wtf #but it took me like 20 minutes so i don‘t want to delete it 😭#and omg i hope you got to re do everything that your sims game didnt save and that it all worked out the same #😭#I NEARLY DELETED THIS ASK WITJ MY ANSWER OH MYFUCKING GOD MY FUCKING HEART #also i realised i didnt say anything at all about uni but i dont have any news like that Einführungsveranstaltung (😭) I went to was literall #just about schedules and credits and boring stuff mostly lmao #oh and tattoos!!!! it sucks that you might not be able to get the ones that you want/get any :((((( but hopefully you can at least get some #that arent in colour? 🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼#so my parents aren‘t that supportive either like they most definitely wouldnt pay for it (even though they pay for a lot of my stuff lmao)#but i think in the end they know that i‘m old enough and they can‘t stop me and they‘d accept it one day so they‘re definitely not THAT bad #maybe your parents will change their mind over time? :(#or maybe youll just get one one day and ig theyll have to get used to it lol #so i want a butterfly (thats the only thing that i‘m sure about) and there are a lot of butterfly tattoos that look really tacky #but speaking of her i actually really like ariana‘s butterfly! but idk if i want that much shading- i have a whole album with like 35 photos #of just butterfly tattoos lol- i‘ll stop here tho. ldkdkd #omg im rereading this all and it‘s so messy good luck dkdkkddl #my tags got messed up and idk how to fix it #wait did i reach the tag limit and you cant even see half of these? 😭😭😭#i‘m so confused about these tags why are they not in the correct order? 😭😭😭 ily snd i‘m so sorry for dropping this post on you none of it #none of it makes sense.

7 notes · View notes