#sorry if anyone's made these jokes ive only seen like two posts of this type and i made sure to not use the text posts they did

[storiesofsvu]

A Dangerous Game Ch 6

Emily Prentiss x reader warnings: language, alcohol, usual BAU case type violence/talk, smut, daddy kink, breeding kink/cum kink..... sorry for the delay on this ch, i just kept getting stuck uninspired to write this week despite desperately wanting to! i hope this week is better but im wokring more shifts and managing this weekend so i doubt it lol send me good vibesis anyone else having trouble with desktop? Like it LAGS so bad when i try to type. Ive swapped browsers, cleared out my computer & i swear its just worse….

You’d reached your six month mark with the BAU, which meant you’d been called into Emily’s office in the middle of a paperwork day, your heart nearly skyrocketing in your chest until you realized what it was about. She praised your work, both in the field and at the home office, commending how good of a fit you were for the team, and that she couldn’t be happier with your placement, and that you were putting down roots here, that you felt comfortable enough to do so. While you had been on edge at first, the meeting relaxed almost instantly, while she was still your superior, there was a sense of comfortability as you talked, laughter and jokes passed back and fourth. Right as you stood from your chair when she’d dismissed you she spoke once again,

“Hey, Pen and I are grabbing drinks after work, you wanna join?”

“You… sure that’s a good idea?” You raised a brow and she chuckled at the meaning behind your words.

“We’re allowed to be friends, aren’t we?”

“Guess we are.” You smiled back, “yeah, that sounds great.”

It may have been your six month mark since starting with the BAU, but today was the start of allowing yourself to be friends with and be seen with Emily while in your home territory. You just reminded yourself that this didn’t mean anything was changing, you’d picked up on it before Emily had even brought it up. Penelope had jokingly asked over coffee if you were scared of Emily, and that there was no reason to be, because under that dark exterior she truly was a softie. You’d laughed it off, saying that at your last posting your superior was strictly that, he’d been the type to not separate work from anything else, keeping the boundaries between employees strict and never hanging out with the team. Thankfully that was enough of an answer for Penelope and she didn’t ask anymore questions.

*

Medford, Oregon was the next city that the team was called to.

This time the unsub was targeting couples, and after some examination, the team was quick to figure out his hunting ground was spilt between three separate bars, and on a scheduled rotation, it was almost like he wanted to get caught. The profile was made and JJ was the one to announce it on the local news for what to look out for, withholding just the right amount of information to make sure he’d strike again.

“I don’t like this whole sit around and wait tactic.” The local captain grumbled.

“We’re not going to sit around and wait.” Emily pointed out, “we know where he’s going to be tonight.”

“So what? We just stake out the location and pull over anyone suspicious? That’ll be great for business.”

“We’re going to send in some undercovers.” She retorted and it was his turn to laugh.

“I don’t know how the FBI works agent, but that kind of thing takes time out here.”

“Good thing I came with reinforcements.” She practically smirked, glancing through the team, “JJ’s already made herself known… Wilson? How’d’you feel about stepping up?”

“You ask that like I have a choice in the matter.” You laughed, shifting up onto the desk behind you, “yeah I can handle it.”

“Good.” Her eyes danced over everyone for a moment, “you and Morgan will handle this.”

“You two up to that?” The local asked, “this guy, he only takes vics who are guaranteed to leave together, ones who are clearly couples.”

“Oh I think baby girl and I can handle it.” Derek chuckled, wrapping an arm around your waist and you groaned, playfully shoving him away from you.

“Morgan keep your hands to yourself until we’re on the job.” You teased and he laughed again, ducking down to kiss your cheek leading you to shove him away from you again.

“We’ll get you two ready and wired up and as much as I want you immersed in your roles please remember that we don’t know what this guy looks like yet, you need to be aware of your surroundings.” Rossi commented and the two of you nodded, assuring him that you were up for the task. Someone had to get this unsub taken down, no matter what kind of pretending you had to do in the meantime.

*

Voodoo Martini was the location for your little set up that evening, JJ and Spencer set up already inside, separately at opposite ends of the bar. Emily and Dave were monitoring with the sheriff in an unmarked van out front with back up around the block. They’d gone in before the bar opened, outfitting it with cameras to monitor the situation and Emily was currently kicking herself for having to send you in on a case like this one. A last minute shopping trip to accurately fit the part left you in a scoop necked halter top, tits pushed up and practically bouncing with each step you took and a pair of jean shorts that Derek already had his hand in the back pocket of while the two of you approached the entrance to the bar.

His arm wound securely around your waist as you entered the place, glancing around as if you were checking to see if anyone you knew was there tonight. The place was pretty full already, dark with coloured lights highlighting the room, soft strobes over on the dance floor. One wall was lined with booths, high top tables scattered throughout the space and two bars, one in the corner of the dance floor beside the DJ booth that was three steps down from the level you entered on where the other larger bar was. Approaching that, Derek squeezed at your side,

“Grab me a beer sweetheart? I’m gonna run to the bathroom.” He pressed a kiss to your temple and slipped off into the crowd leaving you to greet the bartender.  

You ordered the beer for him along with a vodka soda for yourself, turning so your body language was open to the room, eyes surveying the crowd for a moment while you took the first couple of sips of your drink. It wasn’t long after that a guy came up, introducing himself as Brandon and asked if he could buy you a shot, you accepted and turned the flirt on just the right amount. You knew Derek was back before you felt his hand on your waist simply at the way Brandon tensed,

“Miss me?” Derek greeted, his free hand brushing your hair off to the side so he could kiss your neck, pulling you snug to him as you slid the beer in his direction.

“Could you have taken any longer? Fuck.” You nipped at his jaw, “meet Brandon.” You gestured to the other man, who practically squeaked out an excuse about needing to meet his friends before scurrying off and Derek chuckled into your ear, his breath hot on your skin.

“Not our guy.” He murmured.

“He did approach thinking I was alone.” You replied, turning to face him and he kept you close, his free hand moving under your chin, tilting it up to him.

“Yeah?” He raised a brow, “well the guy at ten o’clock has had his eye on you since you walked in and hasn’t stopped staring since I came back.”

“I’m not stupid enough to look, I’ll trust your instinct.”

“You trust my instinct to turn up the heat now then?” He asked, quirking an eyebrow and you held back the urge to roll your eyes.

*

“These guys are good.” Emily commented from inside the van, “better than I expected.”

“Almost too good.” Rossi replied, gesturing towards the tv, it gave them video access but no audio. Emily’s eyes drifted back toward the screen and widened at the sight of Derek pulling you closer to him as the two of you kissed, “you sure these two aren’t sleeping together?” Dave asked and Emily did her best not to choke on her coffee, letting out a laugh.

“Doubt it.”

“Dunno,” the sheriff cut in, “if two members of my squad looked like that, I’d think they were.”

“Now that I think of it, when we were in Miami I was going to the ice machine and I saw Wilson sneaking back into her room, looked like she was coming from the direction of Morgan’s.”

“You know who would know the answer to this?” Emily was doing her best to shush the topic as quick as she could, Dave glanced toward her with a raised brow, “Garcia.”

“Good call.” He nodded with a small chuckle, turning back to the surveillance in front of them.

*

Back inside the club, Derek and you mingled, wandering between the bar, a high top table and very reluctantly, you let him drag you out onto the dance floor. You were careful to alternate your drinks with glasses of soda water that looked like they still had booze in them, but still played up the illusion of being drunk. The two of you chatted with more than a few club goers, first to make sure you looked and were approachable, and second to try and find your target. A few hours later and you found yourself back up at the bar, talking with Drew, the guy who Derek had clocked right as you’d gotten there. He certainly seemed interested, buying the both of you another round as the three of you got to know each other a little bit better, pulling lies out of thin air as you went. You’d just accepted a fresh drink from Drew, raising it to clink against his glass, your hand lingering on his arm a moment too long when your phone buzzed on the bar top. Your brow furrowed and you felt a surge of anxiety shoot through you at the notification being labelled ‘Prentiss’ so you quickly scooped it open and swiped open the message.

‘We’re at the wrong place, news bulletin must’ve spooked the unsub. Just found a body two blocks from Whiskey River.’

‘Copy that.’

You nudged at Derek, showing him the screen as you spoke, “babe, our ride’s here.”

“Better get goin’. Thanks for the drinks man.” He clapped Drew on the shoulder as you hopped off the bar stool, swiping a pen from the bar top.

“Sorry we’ve gotta leave like this.” You feigned a pout, grabbing his hand and writing down seven random numbers, “call me.” You shot him a wink before the two of you slipped out of the bar, not dropping the act until you climbed into the SUV.

*

The rest of the night felt like a whirlwind as you left the bar, the team and local pd splitting up to canvas and examine the crime scene to try and figure things out. While you were glad to be out of the club and finally away from Derek’s lingering touches you could still practically feel the heat from his body on you and that was making you absolutely crave the touch of Emily. Part of you was starting to wish you could have gone undercover with her instead, though you knew you never would have been able to keep focussed and you doubt she could’ve either.

Emily did her best not to stare at you, wishing she could have just five minutes alone with you to pin you to a wall and have her way with you. She felt her stomach twisting at the memory of Derek’s hands all over you, the way he’d slowly kissed up your neck to show off to Brandon, just how well the two of you had done at posing as a couple. She was proud of the UC skills but it also lowkey made her want to throw up in her mouth. Having you still dressed in the same clothes, with just an FBI hoodie over top while you moved through the crime scene certainly wasn’t helping anything either.

*

Despite not catching the unsub you and Derek still stopped for a shot at the hotel bar when you finally got home before going your separate ways, a way to say ‘good job’ to the other without having to actually discuss things that had happened. You got back to your hotel room, your head tilting when the door opened and you found Emily perched on the end of your bed, a satin robe loosely tied over her naked body, the bulge between her legs evident.

“You here to debrief me?” You asked with a grin, pulling the hoodie off and tossing it to the spare bed as Emily stood, stepping toward you before her hand gently grabbed your jaw, tilting your face up to her.

“No.” She smirked, “I’m here to remind you who you belong to.”

“Oh?” Your eyes widened and she chuckled, dropping your face from her hand.

“I know it was all an act, but what can I say? I don’t like when other people touch my things.” She shrugged, her hand trailing down your body, slipping between your legs, “and who does this pussy belong to?” She grabbed at your cunt and you gasped, your breath catching in your throat.

“You daddy…”  You breathed out, your eyes fluttering shut and she chuckled.

“That’s what I thought.” Her hand tickled up your body again, tugging at the hem of your shirt as it went and you pulled it off, “I think it’s about time daddy marks you, hmm angel… would you like daddy to stuff you with cum?”

“God yes.” You practically moaned, fingers swiftly getting rid of the robe she had on, gulping over the size of the strap she had on.

“Good.” She smirked, her hands undoing your bra, letting it fall to the floor before they slipped into the waistband of your shorts, urging you to shove them down your legs along with your panties.

Before she could even get another word out you’d sunk to your knees in front of her, looking up at her with doe eyes, a pout on your lips before your tongue darted out, swiping a long lick on the underside of her cock.

“Please?”

“Christ.” She muttered, feeling herself flutter around nothing at the idea of it alone as she nodded and you let out a small giggle.

A moment later and your lips had wrapped around the toy, sinking down to the base, letting it hit the back of your throat in the same moment the base of the toy hit Emily’s clit and she groaned softly. Her hand tangled into your hair, watching the way you began to bob on her length, wet, sinful sounds leaving your lips as you did so. You were eager and she was never going to deny something like the sight of you on your knees for her, you were so fucking hot.

One of your hands glided up her thigh and your fingers slipped under the strap, beginning to toy with her pussy and she gasped. The moment two of your fingers slipped into her wetness she moaned, her free hand clutching at the dresser, never in her life had she had someone get her off while she fucked their mouth and it was an entirely new sensation she would never forget. The sight of you in front of her, burying her cock into your throat, the way your skin bulged as she did so, the eager way you sucked more and more into your lips with each thrust was already enough for her. But now there you were, fingers fucking into her with ease, curling and twisting with expertise, easily finding the sensitive spot within her walls. She was moaning before she knew it, tugging at your hair, holding you down on her cock, living for the sounds you made groaning around it as your fingers fucked her faster, the wet sounds from her cunt getting louder and dirtier with each move of your hand.

“Oh fuck… fuck princess!” She cried and her cock slipped from your mouth with a lewd pop, your fingers not letting up.

“You gonna come for me daddy?” You asked, your voice like silk, the tip of her dick resting against your cheek while your fingers curled within her once again and her thighs shuddered. “I know you want to.” You teased, lips wrapping around her cock once again for a couple of pulses, “come in my mouth. Please?”

“Fuck…” Emily swore softly, watching the way you wrapped around her cock once more as your fingers picked up the pace and within a matter of seconds she was shaking above you, orgasm rocking through her as you continued to bob on her cock.

Her hand shifted from the dresser to the base of the toy and you let her pull it from your lips, opening your mouth as your tongue extended out, waiting for her cum. She shivered in the cool air of the room as she squeezed at the base of the toy and the lube spurted out into your mouth.

“Ah!” Her hand shot out to your jaw right before you went to close it and you grinned as she did so. Emily ducked over you, her tongue surging into your mouth, scooping up as much of the lube as she could, deeply kissing you before pulling away ever so slightly. She then opened her lips, letting it drip down back into your mouth until it was painting your tongue once again, “good girl.”

She watched as you closed your mouth, swallowing the lube before presenting her with a clean empty mouth.

“Get on the bed so daddy can fill that needy pussy with cum.” She nudged at your shoulder and you were quick to scramble onto the bed, watching as she refilled the dildo. “On your hands and knees angel.”

You quickly flipped, letting out a low moan as Emily’s hand sunk between your legs, her fingers teasing your folds, smearing your wetness around, “you really this wet from just getting daddy off? You naughty girl.” She cooed.

“Please…. Please daddy…” your eyes scrunched shut, “need your cock.. now..”

“Now?” She chuckled, the tip of it sliding through your lower lips, resulting in a low moan from you as your hips pushed back toward her, “I guess you really are needy.” She sunk the tip into you before pulling it out, a whine escaping your lips, “well, you were good today princess, I guess I’ll give you what you want.” She sunk fully into you with ease and you groaned, “words baby….”

“Hard and fast.” You murmured, doing your best to bury yourself into the pillows as she gripped your hips with a dark chuckle.

The first thrust Emily gave you was harder than you expected, a loud gasp leaving your lungs before you bit down onto the pillow, the next one just as hard, as you’d asked for. Her hands gripped at your skin so tightly you knew you’d likely have some kind of marking the next morning. Each pump of her hips met yours with vigor, moans leaving both your lips. She couldn’t help but admire just how well you took it, how much of a good girl you really were.

“Christ baby..” She swore, “doing so fucking good for daddy. Already creaming all over my cock… you gonna come already?” She let out a groan at the sight of the toy smeared with your juices, knowing just how good she was making you feel.

“More… please!” You begged, feeling the pleasure surge through you, your pussy clenching down around her cock, wishing it would never end.

“Want me to touch you?” She asked, her hand wrapping around your hips in search of your clit.

“Choke me…” you managed to utter out between soft moans and Emily felt herself flutter once again. She let out a quiet swear before pulling you flush up to her by the hair, smirking as you moaned at the sensation. Her hand ghosted up your body before wrapping around your throat, squeezing as she continued to fuck you.

“That’s my dirty girl.” She purred into your ear, “so fucking naughty for daddy, you just love it don’t you?”

“Uh.. ye… yes..” Your entire body was on fire, you felt like you were about to burst yet there was something missing. Something that Emily only took a second to realize what it was, her free hand shifting from your hip to your clit, pinching and rubbing furiously at it until you were shaking in her arms, doing your best to not be too loud as your orgasm rocked through you.

The hand around your throat vanished, letting you drop to the bed while the other one returned to your hip, Emily feeling herself pulse as she watched you come. She pumped her hips a few more times before she squeezed at the base of the toy, shooting her cum deep into your greedy cunt. You let out a very satisfied moan at the sensation, shuddering as she softly fucked it deeper into you.

“Fuck…” you muttered.

“You like that?” She chuckled, raising a brow.

“Want you to come in me every time.” You mumbled the reply and she laughed, leaning forward to press a gentle kiss between your shoulder blades as she slipped out of you.

“I think that can definitely be arranged.”

_______

@ssa-sapphic @mickey-gomez @clarawatson @cabotfan42 @momlifebehard @alexusonfiree @melindawarnersgf @itisdoctortoyousir @emilyprentiss4life @softgamerking @httpjupiterbby @somethingimaginative17 @temilyrights @alexxavicry  @mysticfalls01 @anya-casablanca @daddy-heather-dunbar @evilregal2002 @aliensaurusrex @alcabots @7thavenger @ladysc @rustyzebra @ilovemycrayons @mandy-asimp @thegrantwaterr @leftoverenvy @kades95 @disneyfan624 @dextur @m00nkn1ghts @augustvandyne @supercriminalbe @daffodil-heart @msvenablesbitch @its-soph-xx  @going-gray @just-a-torn-up-masterpiece @hopelesslyfallenninlove @peanutbutterprincess  @kdaghay @emilyprentisssluvr @lex13cm @bluetodie @awolfcsworld @zizzlekwum @emobabeyy @riveramorylunar @s1ut4natt @midnight-sapphic

#emily prentiss #emily prentiss x reader #criminal minds #a dangerous game #emily prentiss series #criminal minds fanfic

[charleslovemustdie]

wwdits + text posts p1 [2] [3] [4] [+]

#but mostly guillermo #WE ALL KNEW IT WAS GONNA HAPPEN BAYBEYYY HELL YEA TEXT POSTS TEXT POSTS #sorry if anyone's made these jokes ive only seen like two posts of this type and i made sure to not use the text posts they did #wwdits #nandermo #nandor #nandor the relentless #guillermo #guillermo de la cruz #laszlo cravensworth #laszlo #laszlo x nandor #text post #text posts #text post meme #wwdits + text posts #charles did this #1k #5k #10k

[taehyungsgrowl]

could you write something angsty with michael or duncan (or both 👀) using “was this all just a game for you?”

y’all know i love making duncan sad so i’m going w my baby dunc for this one just look at him... baby. 

like always... italics indicate a memory/time jump i hope that makes sense

warnings: angst, oral (female receiving)

word count: 1,532 

--

Duncan couldn’t look at her. Where he once saw love in her eyes all he could see was a betrayal. Lies. Empty promises. 

“What don’t I understand, Y/N? Hm?” he pushed his hair back as he paced back and forth. He was so angry, he thought he was vibrating from it. 

“Duncan,” she pleaded. 

“Don’t!” he snapped, “Just don’t even fucking bother.”

“How did you find out?” her eyes dropped to her hand - still adorned with the hefty diamond that promised a life full of love with Duncan. 

--

Duncan’s weight shifted on the bed as he rolled on top of her. His bare chest pressed against her. Everything was so quiet. The back of his hand ran down her cheek, caressing it softly, ending the soft touch by grabbing her chin and tilting it up to kiss her. 

“You haven’t taken it back yet have you?” he chuckled, searching for her hand. His thumb ran over the ring - still making sure it was secured on her hand. 

Y/N rolled her eyes, “Of course not,” she pecked his lips, “I love you,” 

“I....” Duncan drew out the word, moving his lips down to her jaw, followed by her back, “love....” he kissed along her collarbones, “you...” 

He continued to trail kisses down her bare torso, slowly inching lower and lower. Duncan’s hand found its way between her thighs, feeling her arousal coat his fingers. He smiled into her tummy as he continued his wet trail of kisses. 

“Mrs...” he chuckled, his breath tickling her skin. He kissed her pussy, looking up at her through his dark lashes. 

“Mmm, not yet,” she laughed easily. The sound that could make even Duncan’s heaviest days feel a million times lighter. 

“Not yet,” he repeated, as he moved his lips to her inner thighs, smirking when he noticed her squirming from the anticipation. His words held a double meaning. “But I can’t wait until the day you become my wife.” 

And with those words he dipped her head between her thighs and licked down her slit, not letting her get another word in. Whatever thought she had turned to mush as she gave in to the sensation of his tongue on her pussy. 

Her fingers found themselves tugging on to Duncan’s locks - her bright diamond a sharp contrast to his dark hair. 

--

“How did I find out?” he barked out a humorless laugh. Beyond the point of heartbreak - Duncan was furious. 

“That’s what you decide to go with.. I can’t fucking believe you.” he pinched the bridge of his nose. 

Y/N knew it was his telltale for how upset he was. She felt so small. It wasn’t supposed to be like this, she thought. She fucked up and knew nothing she said could make it right. 

“But you want to know how I knew,” the word tasted bitter in his mouth, “You were reckless, Y/N” his voice echoed through the kitchen they stood in. “They saw you,” he shrugged, referencing the story his friends shared of seeing her with another man. “Couldn’t even have been a discreet enough whore and not been caught,” the venom spilled out of his mouth with that one. But he was too angry to care. Even when she winced at the word, he couldn’t bring himself to take it back. 

--

Duncan’s oldest friend and colleague stood at the door to his office. “Duncan, do you have a moment?”

“Yeah, come on in,” Duncan closed his laptop as his friend closed the door behind him and took a seat across from Duncan.

“So, what’s up?” Duncan tidied up the papers on his desk.

His friend sighed, “Listen,” he looked so nervous - but he knew it needed to be said, “I guess there's no easy way to say this so I’m just going to say it.”

“Woah,” Duncan laughed easily, not taking the gravity of his friends tone, “I’m happily taken,” he joked. 

His friend winced - did anyone really enjoy being the bearer of bad news? 

“Duncan, this is serious,” he sighed heavily. “I think Y/N is cheating on you.”

Duncan’s smirk dropped from his face. “You’re being ridiculous. Why would you say that?” Duncan frowned. 

“I wish I didn’t have to tell you, man. Eric and I were at lunch and I saw her! She kissed another man before they had lunch a few tables away. And,” he met Duncan’s eyes, “They walked into the hotel together. This was maybe 40 minutes ago - you can check if don’t believe me. Or talk to her, I don’t know! I just... couldn’t go on without telling you what I saw.”

Duncan felt like he was frozen. 

“Dunc?” 

His felt a lump in his throat. He didn’t know how to explain it, but - his instincts told him his friend was telling the truth. 

Duncan opened his laptop, pulling up the Find my iPhone feature. The loading circle seemed to be taunting him as it turned and turned, pin pointing Y/N’s location. 

Sure enough, she was at the hotel his friend said. 

In an angry fit, he pushed the papers off his desk. There had to be an explanation. 

“Duncan..”

“I just need a fucking minute!”

He nodded and left Duncan alone. 

Duncan started to call. And text. And call again.

Baby, pls call me Call me Y/N?

Not one response. 

He couldn’t be at the office anymore with his mind swirling with ideas. 

He went home and waited. 

--

Fuck, Y/N thought, seeing Duncan’s car. He was never home this early. She looked in the rearview mirror, making sure her makeup looked okay before she headed inside. 

“Hey, babe! You’re home early! I just saw your messages. I was thinking we could go to dinner out in Midtown tonight?” she chattered along, putting her things away, not once looking directly at Duncan.

It wasn’t until she felt the utter stillness of the room that she realized something was wrong. 

The look on his face said it all. 

He knows. 

Her heart dropped to her stomach. 

“Babe? Is everything okay?”

“I don’t know Y/N. Is it?” his deep stare made her feel such shame. “Where were you? And for the love of god, please don’t lie to me.”

Tears started to fall down her face. She knew he knew. 

“I’m sorry.” she cried. 

“For what?” his teeth were clenched now. 

“Don’t make me say it.” she pleaded. She reached out to touch him, but he flinched away. 

“For godsake, Y/N!” he hung his head low, “Why? Why did you? Was I not enough? I fucking trusted you! I love -” he couldn’t finish his words.

“You don’t understand!” she cried.

--

“Was this just a game to you?” She’d never seen Duncan look at her that way. Disgust colored his tone, “Find some rich sucker to marry you while you continued to screw around?” He shook his head.

“You know it’s not like that, Duncan. I love you.”

“No, Y/N. I don’t know what it’s like because instead of explaining shit you decide to ask how I found out?” Duncan sneered, “Fuck you.” 

“If you loved me you wouldn’t have done what you can’t even bring yourself to say,” he continued. “Get out. Two years of us - for nothing. I hope he was worth it, for your sake.” 

Duncan stormed off to the guest room not wanting to be near her or the room that held warm memories of them. He couldn’t bring himself to lie down or keep still. He waited. Impatiently, but he waited. 

Waited for her to knock on the door - to tell him it was just a joke gone wrong - or at the very least tell him why. 

But the knock on the door never came. 

He could hear her shuffling around. Every time he heard her sob, he fought himself from running out to hold her. He was too angry. Too hurt. 

He tired himself out from crying and eventually fell asleep on the unfamiliar bed. 

When he woke again, it was only a quarter past 1:00 AM. The house felt still. 

He walked out to see if she were sleeping. The light in the kitchen was still on, but everything else was dark. 

Sitting on the counter, he found her ring, the ring of promises he made to her, sitting neatly on top of a blush colored paper, scrawled with her handwriting. 

I owe you an explanation - one that’s not just written down. I never meant to hurt you. It was never supposed to be like this. I love you. 

Staying with my mom for a few days. Call me. xo

He took the ring in between two fingers recalling the dozens of shops, both vintage and new, he visited in search of the perfect one for her. Something delicate, but strong. Something beautiful that would last forever.

Something he thought represented them. 

He dropped the ring on the counter again and traced the words on the paper. Duncan was too tired to think. He was too tired to know if he would call. He found himself on his couch, falling asleep mourning what he’d lost. 

--

okay so i’ve had some writers block for a while and!!! ive been reading old request for some inspiration and this one had me typing away :) 

so i hope you guys like it AND i hope it makes sense? sometimes i worry that my time jumps / memories don't translate well when they're typed and that they only make sense in my head?fvjnsrkv

anyway... tagging a few people who are regularly on my taglist + a few that interacted w my post!

@xavierplympton @desertsunflower00 @royalblueviper @dailylangdon  @langdonswhoreprobably@rpwithjayn @xavierplymptonstan @spoo-per @wickedlangdon @leatherduncan @plsfuckmelangdon @bitchchatter @beautyiswithinchaos @blakewaterxx @littledemondani @little-grunge-flowerz @lovelylangdonx @sexwon131 @fckinsupreme @prophecy-is-inevitable @shenevertricks1831 @kissme-throughthephone @shyvirgoanon

#duncan shepherd #duncan shepherd x reader #duncan shepherd angst #duncan shepherd smut #cody fern #hoc #Anonymous

[hauntedzone]

man fatphobia in tma fandom... i hated how none of the other characters were ever drawn as fat. no one else just the soft uwu squishy bean (how fandom characterized martin actually made me hate him by the 3rd season lol) which is like... i made me So Uncomfortable as a fat person. and the way jon was portrayed as unhealthy skinny got like.. borderline fetishy at times especially in fic and like. its hard for me to blame this on other people and i wouldnt want anyone who wrote him like this to see this ask and feel bad but the constant waxing poetic abt like his thin wrists and exposed ribcage and whatnot was genuinely super upsetting to me and really effected my body image especially because the only fat character they ever thought to write was like... idk how to describe it really but like there was a very clear disparity in the way they were described and meant to be related to by the reader u know?

also straighttma my beloathed... they had this like disgustingly fatphobic post about flesh avatars (cw for extreme fatphobia but if u just search for "straighttma fatphobia" in the search bar it should be the first thing). i understand its a parody blog but some of the posts and that post in particular especially was just legitimately upsetting. especially since it was anon submitted and i have no way of knowing if thats coming from a thin person or not... and in general i dont really find an expicitly bigoted version of a show particularly funny. like ive definitely made and enjoyed jokes about like characters being cishet reddit bros or whatever which i think comes with an implication of bigotry but... idk i just didnt like it

my response gets long so readmore time. i posted under some tags for bl, if youre in one of these tags and see this id prefer no reblogs on this

i never really got into fanfiction in general aside from reading maybe one or two on sparse occasion, so i cant lie and say ive experienced similar to you, but based on the art ive seen during my time liking the podcast, those descs of martin & jon do check out. (aside from that one artist with tall & fat jon, that was cool.) im sorry youve experienced that, i know one of the reasons people participate in fandom is to find belonging and seeing someone portray people like you in an unempathetic way in that setting must have been incredibly hurtful. i think its important for any media creator to understand that when they write diverse body types, sexuality, race... etc, that their intention shouldnt be to score diversity points, but to communicate to readers that arent cishet white thin abled (etc) that your artwork is also for these people

also god i forgot about straighttma... i couldnt find the post you were looking for bc tumblrs search is busted as hell. i think straighttma was kind of funny as like a 1-post idea maybe but as an entire blog idk, especially since the whole show was ALREADY full of shit youd expect from a white british guy. its sort of like, oh heres a way to sort of imagine awful people in a joking context (and i feel like white people are often looking for a reason to make racist jokes anyway), and also simultaneously makes the indirect statement of "arent we so grateful that the show and creators ARENT like that? arent we glad to get good representation?" even though the show and representation sucks ass honestly. its like the opposite of media criticism

i know i keep going back to this point and i absolutely dont intend to direct attention away from what youre saying bc youre 100% correct, but it feels like the fandom would have done everything in their power to kiss jonny sims pasty ass and defend him to the death. and it was incredibly stupid.

#fatphobia #body image

[queenmylovely]

Wedding Party II

Summary: Ben hardy x fem!reader. A game night between friends will surely take off the tension from whatever’s going on with you and Ben. 

Word Count: 3.4k

Warnings: cussing, building tension, charades 

A/N: This is the third and final (multiple) part(s) of my 500 follower celebration!! Thank you so much again to everyone who follows me, including the people that have since I hit 500, cause it’s been a minute, whoops. I was planning three parts for this, but I got into the charades so we’re looking at four instead! (p.s. if you want to try to guess the charade movies before the characters do that’s how I tried to write it lol) Any feedback is super appreciated but especially replies, messages, and asks are super helpful for my writing ‘cause I get to hear what you think!

Part I, Part III, Part IV, Mini i, Mini ii, Masterlist

(yet again wonderful gif by @mrbenhardys) 

💖💖💖

Ben couldn’t believe how close he had come to kissing you the other night. He had diverted it last second by kissing your cheek, but even that teetered too far over the line of what was supposed to happen. If fucking someone at Rami’s wedding wasn’t allowed, then developing a full-on crush wasn’t either. But boy was he.

Even though you were the one that had mentioned hearing about him when the two of you first met, he was surprised to see that all of the references to you by his friends hadn’t failed to live up. In fact, he would probably say that what they said didn’t do you justice. Though he wouldn’t advertise it, he had also done a quick instagram stalk and thought you were even more beautiful in person.

Rami hadn’t slipped up like Lucy and mentioned your name specifically when telling him not to sleep with anyone at the wedding, but even so, Ben found all of his focus on you when it came to that rule. Whether it was because you had known of but never met each other for so long or simply because of who you were, you fascinated him.

Which he knew was dangerous in this particular situation. But he reminded himself that he would only have to see you at the rehearsal, rehearsal dinner, wedding, and reception. He thought that maybe after that something more could develop, but until then he would have to stay on track.

_

But when Ben got out of the car to head into Rami and Lucy’s building and held the door open for someone behind him, his whole plan was ruined when that person was you.

“Oh, hi!” you said cheerily and he said hi back; you were trying to mask the mixture of excitement and dread you were feeling. Excitement at seeing Ben and spending time with him and dread at seeing Ben and spending time with him.

The two of you walked across the lobby and to the elevator. Ben pushed the button and you waited together. He had the same internal dilemma going on but he just smiled and said, “I can assume you’re going to game night too then?”

“That’s a safe assumption. Haven’t seen you at one of these before,” you pointed out, trying to make casual conversation. The elevator dinged and you both got on, Ben again hitting the button for the correct floor.

“Yeah, my last film had a lot of night scenes and stuff so I was always busy. But that’s in post and my next one will be mainly day shoots so I’ll be able to come to more of these,” Ben explained as the elevator doors opened and the two of you walked into the hallway.

“We’ll be seeing a lot of each other then,” you commented during the short walk to their front door. You reached up and knocked twice.

“Yep.”

Then at the same time, the two of you sighed. Your heads whipped towards each other in confusion and you were both about to say something in response or question when the door opened.

“Ben! Y/N! You made it, and look at you arriving together, already practicing for the wedding, huh?” was Joe’s excited greeting when he opened the door.

“Hey mate, good to see you,” Ben told Joe, giving him a hug.

“Hey Joe,” you said with a smile as you hugged him. Then you teased, “Did Lucy and Rami hire you as their butler or do you just really enjoy opening doors?”

Ben laughed at what you said even though he didn’t have the full context and you felt your cheeks heat up.

As the three of you walked into the apartment Joe just barked out a laugh and told you, “You’re hilarious.”

You smiled at him, “I try.”

Once you reached the living room, you saw both Rami and Lucy there, setting up the snacks. Gwilym was there as well, but he was pouring a couple glasses of wine. They all put down what they were holding and came over to do the usual greetings and such. Apparently, it was only to be you six because some of the other regulars had other obligations.

After everyone had a little plate of snacks and a glass of red or white, Rami began his usual little spiel at the beginning of game nights, “Alright everyone, welcome to game night. We will be playing team games, so partner up now.”

“Dibs on Gwil,” Joe called out, looking directly at you with a smirk. If only he knew how good he had really gotten you.

You shot back, “That’s fine by me. I’m sure Ben will be a great teammate.”

All the same, Ben shot Joe a quick look that he didn’t understand and you shot Lucy a quick this-wasn’t-my-fault look that she accepted with a nod.

Rami continued, “Great, we have three games lined up, but we can play as many times as we like. Lastly, remember that this is strictly a friendly competition, so no sore losers when Lucy and I beat all of you,”

“Oh it’s on,” Joe replied. Then he and Rami got into a little trash-talk.

Ben laughed and turned to you, “Are you competitive?”

“Well… I suppose that’s something one could say about me,” you said with a sheepish smile.

“I hope I’m not too big of a disappointment then, I’m not the best at these types of things,” Ben said with a slightly awkward smile.

“I’m sure you’ll be great,” you said, placing your hand on his shoulder. “Anyway I’m not nearly as competitive as them.”

You nodded towards Rami and Joe who were jokingly getting in each other’s faces, unable to hold back their own laughter. Ben and you burst into laughter, joining Gwil and Lucy’s at the sight. It took you a second longer to realize that your hand was still on Ben’s shoulder. You only did because Ben had looked at it and you removed it before it became so awkward you had to leave.  

Luckily, Rami and Joe were done with their shenanigans and everyone was ready to start the first game. It turned out to be charades and little slips of paper were quickly divided between the three groups.

Rami and Lucy went first and both were ridiculously quick at guessing each other’s answers. You supposed it came with living together and such as well as being actors.

Then Gwil and Joe were up and they didn’t fare quite as well. For some reason, Joe was being far too elaborate with his acting and would mime putting on a swimsuit, putting on sunscreen, swimming, and then being chased by something just to get Jaws. Gwil was good at the charade as soon as he actually started, but he seemed to overthink every word before he started.

Finally, it was you and Ben. You went first, saying before you started, “Sorry I’m literally the only non-actor here.”

Ben waved you off with a laugh. Then Lucy flipped the timer over and you quickly opened the first slip. It said Jurassic Park and you breathed a quick sigh of relief. Then you pointed at Joe, put your hand to the height of a little kid and did T-Rex arms.

“Jurassic Park!” Ben exclaimed and though Joe said something about that not being fair, you moved on.

Next you mimed taking a ring off and holding it up to your eyes, staring at it intensely.

“Lord of the Rings, next!”

The next one was harder, but you got going. First, you pretended to be eating toast and coffee. Second, you did some characters: one with crossed arms and a frown, one flexing muscles, one reading a book and pushing up glasses, one flipping their hair and giggling, and one pulling their hair and shaking their head.

“Okay, okay, eating and drinking, a meal? Breakfast? Breakfast. And these are different people? I don’t know that first one. Then a jock? A nerd? A pretty girl? Oh, oh! The Breakfast Club!” Ben shouted, looking proud of himself for getting it and you couldn’t help but smile before moving onto the next one.

You ended up getting five before time ran out, just one less than Lucy had on her turn. Now it was Ben’s turn to do the charading and you were ready to be the one guessing.

As you switched spots, Ben whispered to you with a smile, “Good job.”

Trying not to show your happiness at his little praise, you just nodded and returned a whisper of, “Thanks.”

Ben got ready, doing a little jog in place warmup as a joke and you probably laughed harder than necessary. Then Lucy counted down from three and flipped over the timer.

As Ben picked up the first slip, you leaned forward to pay attention.

With a nod, Ben started his first charade. He mimed someone in the shower and for a quick second you pictured what he would look like in the shower. But once you said shower, he moved to the next part, getting out of the “shower” and then whipping back the curtain and pumping his from near his head to in front of him again and again. Then you realized that he was pretending to stab someone.

“Psycho!” you yelled and Ben grinned.

After picking up the next slip the first thing Ben did was scrunch up his face in a snarl, crouching down to all fours and making a hand into a claw, stalking closer to you. You felt a weird mixture of apprehensiveness and something else as he got closer and had to remind yourself this was a clue.

Ben was only about a foot away from your legs before you blurted out, “Cat, uh, lion, tiger!”

Tiger was the one so Ben stood up and then mimed rowing a boat. You thought for a second before quickly stating, “Life of Pi.”

Two more slips later, you were only two away from a tie with Lucy and Rami and you had about thirty seconds on the clock.

Ben snatched up another slip and read it, a frown taking over his face for a second. Then he recovered and started miming drumming. Next he did guitar and keyboards then singing.

“Drums. Ok, guitar, keyboards, oh a band!” you said and Ben nodded before moving on.

Next he started dancing, which you could hardly stop from laughing at, but just because it was cute. He was doing lots of 70’s moves like the hustle, YMCA, John Travolta’s move from Saturday Night Fever, and others you didn’t know the name for.

“The hustle. Um, YMCA? The Village People? Disco?” you said as you tried to stifle your giggles.

Ben nodded quickly and then motioned to keep going.

“Um… a disco… band?” you questioned and got another carry on gesture from Ben. “ABBA?”

After a thumbs up, Ben mimed the sign for movies and then singing and it came to you and you jumped up, “Mamma Mia!”

“Yes!” Ben exclaimed right as Lucy called out time. He came over to you by the couch and brought you into a tight hug that almost lifted you off the ground and you laughed out loud in surprise.

Lucy cleared her throat and you and Ben let each other go quickly, turning to look at her. She just raised an eyebrow and smirked, “You know you two didn’t actually get enough to tie me and Rami.”

“Good thing it was just a friendly competition,” you pointed out with an equally fraught with meaning smile.

“And we have two more games to try and beat you guys,” Ben pointed out, with a regular smile.

“Actually, I think you mean that you have two more games to lose to us,” Joe cut in, breaking all the tension and making everyone laugh good-naturedly.

_

The night went on and in the end Rami and Lucy did win because while they lost to you and Ben in trivia, they beat everyone during taboo. Poor Gwil and Joe didn’t win anything, though they claimed that was because they were out of practice.

Once the games were done, music was turned on and everyone got to chatting. You were talking with Joe and Rami about New York and the other three were talking about their upcoming projects more in depth.

Then you realized your drink was running low and excused yourself to go refill it. What you didn’t see as you were walking over to where the wine was was Ben jumping up and excusing himself to do the same.

Just as you were reaching to grab a bottle, you heard him say, “Allow me.”

You turned to realize he was standing just a step behind you and you slowly placed the bottle in his outstretched hand. Then he reached around you to set down his glass and grab yours and you sucked in a breath at the feeling of him just barely brushing against you.

Ben started pouring the wine and as he was doing so, looked up at you with a hint of a smirk on his face.

You realized you were probably just staring at him with your mouth open so you fixed your face and said, “So is this becoming a thing? Are you always going to make my drinks for me?”

Ben laughed lightly and handed your glass back to you. As he picked up his glass, his arm grazed your waist and you had to physically take a step back so you wouldn’t take one forward and kiss him.

Then you heard loud laughter coming from the couches and you both looked to see Rami sitting on Lucy’s lap, both of them laughing so hard they could barely breathe. You smiled at the joy and Ben looked at you with a smile.

“They’re so in love,” he commented and you nodded, a dreamy look in your eyes.

“I’m so excited for the wedding. It’ll be beautiful,” you replied. “I’ve been to a lot of weddings and not everyone’s meant for it but they are.”

“Really?” Ben asked.

“Yeah, some of them are more in it for the wedding than the actual marriage you know?” Ben nodded. “Luce and Rami want a special day, but it’s more important to them who’s there than what it looks like.”

“I had a mate from primary who must’ve had over 300 people at his wedding. I didn’t even get to talk to him and we had been best mates when we were young, so they’re definitely doing the right thing with quality over quantity too,” Ben told you.

“Wow, yeah. I guess along the same lines I can see what Lucy means. But it was a little much to tell me we couldn’t--” you stopped yourself right before revealing that you weren’t allowed to sleep with Ben to Ben. You hoped that Ben didn’t notice your abrupt stop, but he did, his brows furrowing.

“We couldn’t…?” he asked, his thoughts flashing to his conversation with Rami.

“I just-- we, like, the guests, couldn’t-- well shouldn’t-- or it’d be better to--”

“Hey Y/N, who was it from our class that got married recently with that wild theme wedding?” Lucy called over to you, and you quickly took it as a chance to get out of this conversation with Ben.

So you turned to Lucy and as you spoke, and slowly walked over to where they were, leaving Ben to either stay where he was alone or join everyone else in the conversation, “It was Amanda. And the theme was that elf… village? From Lord of the Rings, the one where Cate Blanchett lived.”

“Lothlórien,” Gwil informed everyone.

“Sure. Some of it went over my head, but it was pretty,” you commented. By that time, Ben had taken a seat next to you, his thigh touching yours. The conversation turned into a debate about theme weddings but it was hard to stay fully focused with Ben’s warmth interrupting your thoughts. Those damn thighs aren’t fair, you complained to yourself.

_

This time, you were the first to get up to leave since you had brunch with a friend the next morning.

“Are you good to drive?” Lucy asked since you had had three glasses of wine.

“Oh, I took an uber here, so I was just going to take another one back,” you answered.

“This late at night?” she asked, a worried look on her face.

“Well I always kinda take ubers this late…” you mumbled.

“You know what? I have something tomorrow too, I can take you home. I’ve only had a glass and a half,” Ben suggested, holding up his half full glass as proof.

“Oh, you don’t have--” you started but were interrupted.

“Per-fect!” Lucy said with a smile and you resigned yourself to accepting the ride.

You and Ben gathered your things and then said your goodbyes, getting hugs and kisses from all, especially Lucy who was four glasses in and a little tipsy.

Then you and Ben walked out of the apartment, following the same path you had taken together only a couple hours ago. You chatted about this and that but you were more focused on how your hands would brush against each other every fifth step or so than the conversation.

That is until Ben said, “So you’ve never used my number.”

You weren’t expecting that so you coughed in surprise before answering, “Well, I texted you saying it was me so you had mine too.”

“Well… okay,” Ben said a little sheepishly.

“Okay,” you responded before pulling out your phone. You went to your Instagram dms and found a meme that you thought he would like and sent it to him. “There you go, I used it.”

Ben took out his phone when he got the notification and opened it, laughing when he saw what it was, “Oh my gosh, this is so cute. You know I have a dog.”

“You do?” you asked, getting excited.

“Yeah her name’s Frankie. Here,” he replied, going to his home screen where you could see a picture of just about the cutest beagle you’ve ever seen.

“Oh my goodness, she’s adorable. Ugh I love her,” you said, going a little goo-goo at the sight of the dog. It helped that owning a dog was always an item on your pro list for guys.

“She’s the best. Oh, here we are,” Ben said, gesturing to his car.

The two of you got in, but before he turned on the engine Ben said, “Here, watch this video of her.”

Ben leaned over the console to show you and you met him halfway, both of you turning your eyes down to the phone to watch Frankie running around what you would assume is Ben’s apartment, fresh from a bath. You and Ben laughed at her antics and when she jumped up on the couch and wiggled around on her back, Ben’s groan in the video and groan in real life synched up and you lost it.

Ben couldn’t help but laugh too, but he said, “Hey, that left a stain, that’s a suede couch.”

That just made you laugh harder and soon both you and Ben were leaning on each other for support as you tried to catch your breath. As your laughter finally died down, you looked up at Ben, whose face was only a few inches from yours and as a couple more giggles passed your lips, you couldn’t help but steal a glance at Ben’s. You looked back at his eyes and caught him doing the same, biting your lip in anticipation. Both of you leaned a little closer, a little closer, until you were so close you could feel Ben’s breath on your lips.

Then your phone’s ringtone went off, louder than reasonable and you both jumped in surprise. You picked it up again and saw that it was Lucy calling.

“Yes, Lucy?” you answered with a bit of a sigh, your rational mind returning and reminding you that you weren’t supposed to kiss Ben.

“I forgot to tell you to text me when you get home!” she practically yelled and you held the phone away from your ear. You could hear Rami shushing her on the other end.

“Okay, I will, don’t worry, Luce,” you reassured her before saying a quick goodbye and hanging up.

Ben had turned on the engine and was starting to pull out of the parking space.

“She just wanted me to let her know when I get home,” you explained.

“Yeah I heard,” Ben said with a laugh. “Just, uh, tell me where to go.”

“Oh yeah,” you replied, remembering that he was taking you to your house and not back to his.

💖💖💖

Permanent taglist: @riseetothesun @caborhapch @drowseoftaylor @queenlover05 @johndeaconshands @supersonicfreddie

Series taglist: @killer-queen-87 @theprettyandthereckless @radiob-l-a-hblah @theonsasheart @hannafuckingsucks​

If you would like to be added to the taglist for this little series or my permanent one, just send me a message or ask!

#dont worry Lucy wouldn't keep them from riding together if it meant reader wasn't being safe. she's a g #but can she stop interrupting their moments?? #bohemian rhapsody #borhap #ben hardy #ben jones #wedding party #queenmylovely #fic #series #fluff #bohemian rapsody movie #bohemian rhapsody x reader #borhap boys #borhap cast #borhap x reader #ben hardy x reader #benhardy #bohemianrhapsody

[sailorbellewrites]

Fools Rush In... VIII

characters — yoongi x reader (ft. members of bts and other original characters)

summary — min yoongi, music executive and perpetual bachelor, marries a las vegas stripper he’s only known for six months. chaos ensues.

inspiration —  fools rush in (1997 rom-com starring salma hayek and matthew perry)

information — a drabble series loosely based on the 1997 movie fools rush in. drabbles not posted in any linear order and written as a creative writing outlet. 

warnings — mentions of sex work; age-difference; light sugar daddy themes; smut; light angst (specifically in parts V & VI).

I - II - III - IV - V - VI - VII - VIII - IX - X - XI

VIII — latte (ft. various original characters)

You fucked up.

Or at least, you had made a very big mistake in coming to Kim Hana’s Sunday brunch. It was your first time at her biweekly event and you already wanted to go home. All of the women there were older, faces tight with botox and fillers as they ooh-ed and ahh-ed at one woman’s jewelry and another’s purse. They made surface level comments about politics and fashion and so-and-so’s son who was seen walking around Apgujeong with you-know-who’s daughter. It was mind numbing, but Hana ate it up in a way you didn’t fully understand. Yet, you couldn’t let yourself text Yoongi, couldn’t bear to see the disappointment on his face at you wanting to ditch. He had been doing so much for you recently, so adamant that he had to be sure he didn’t make a mistake in convincing you to marry him. There was nothing you could say to make him believe that you would follow him into an active volcano if he wanted. So you had to at least try.

Still, it’s hard to keep up the facade of a dutiful wife when Kim Hana yells out, “Oh, you’re finally here! I was thinking you’d never arrive! Please, come over. I have someone I want you to meet,” into your ear. The woman who just walked into the private area, lithe and pale with long dark hair, freezes briefly, seemingly unaccustomed to being spoken to so directly. She recovers quickly though, throwing on a blinding white smile as she saunters over to where you and Hana sit at the head of the table.

“Hello, Kim Hana. It’s nice to see you again,” the woman offers, bowing deeply to Hana as though they were worlds apart in the hierarchy that was this brunch.

“A pleasure to see you too. Choi Mina, might I introduce you to our friend Min Yoongi’s new wife? She’s such a doll,” Hana says, tone light despite the suggestiveness of her words. She would have been a great stripper in another life, with her ability to placate people even as she was readying for attack. 

“Oh,” Mina responds quietly, eyes trained on your seated form in a way that you were more than used to. Every woman Hana introduced to you had looked at you in the same exact way. She was sizing you up. “It’s nice to meet you.”

“Likewise,” you say, bowing your head to her slightly.

“I know this can be a bit strange, seeing as you two have been with the same man. But I actually think you guys have a lot in common and would be great friends,” Hana explains, eyes bright with an excitement that you suspect is rooted in her innate desire to make everyone else feel inferior. You end up glaring at Hana due to her words—of course, she’d find a way to bring you around one of Yoongi’s exes. With this new information, the weight of Mina’s stare increases. You hate it. “Ah, you should sit near us. There is so much to discuss.”

As it turns out, there isn’t much to discuss. You didn’t have a lot in common with Yoongi’s ex outside of you both being “dancers”. In fact, it’s hard to see what he would have seen in a professional ballerina who spent half of the year performing in Europe. She speaks in a soft voice, laughter ringing out like windchimes at every joke that was not so secretly told at your expense and she moves so gracefully that even the act of her chewing makes you feel like a slob. She has the type of polish Yoongi often said made him uncomfortable. But, as the conversation progresses, you find it hard to see what Yoongi has seen in you. It is made all too clear that women like Choi Mina and Kim Hana were the expectation for men with money and influence. You weren’t even good enough to qualify as an exception to the rule.

Your resolve weakens. You text Yoongi. Right as you put your phone down, Mina asks, “Your marriage to our Yoongi must have been recent right? I wasn’t even aware that he was dating someone.” A few women murmur in agreement at her observation.

You roll your eyes when she refers to him as “our Yoongi” and shrug. Hana answers for you, “He wasn’t dating someone last year! They rushed right to the altar. It’s incredible. They didn’t even have a wedding here. They got married in America!”

“Oh?” Mina says, a perfect act of curiosity. “Well, how long did you two date?”

Your phone lets out a long vibration as Yoongi’s picture flashes across the screen. Hana again answers for you, excitedly saying, “Only six months! Can you believe it? Namjoon and I didn’t even know he was dating anyone. He must have felt like he had something to hide, though I don’t know why.”

You pick up the phone, only to be greeted by his exasperated tone asking, “Which ex is there exactly?” 

The women continue talking about your relationship as though you aren’t there, but Kim Hana’s continued glances towards you lets you know that she is listening. Instead of answering his question outright, you say, “Hi honey,” in a voice far too sweet to be subtle. 

Yoongi sighs on the end of the line.“Is it the politician's daughter?” 

“Oh no, I’m having a great time! You don’t have to worry,” you respond, hoping he picks up on what you’re trying to say. You can hear a womea say how happy she is that Yoongi is finally sharing you with the world the way he used to in his other relationships.

“Okay… or is the ballerina?”

“Yes, that’s alright,” you answer, patience wearing thin.

“I’ll be there in ten minutes,” he responds, sounding sad. You feel sad too. You fucked up again.

The ten minutes pass by slowly and in that time, you learn several things. Yoongi and Choi Mina had been considering marriage before they broke up. They dated on and off for three years. It had been a rough breakup. Jimin did not like her. Namjoon did. Mina is now engaged to a professor in Nice. She will always have love Yoongi and hopes that he is happy with you. That last part sounds like a lie. 

The ‘I’m outside’ text you receive feels like someone just handed you a tank of oxygen. You take a deep breath, keeping calm as you explain to the women that your husband had to pick you up early due to another appointment. The excuse seems to appease most of them, though Mina insists that she walk you outside so she can say hello to her “dear old Yoongi.”

Your husband sits behind the wheel of his car, paying no attention to his surroundings as he taps away on his cell phone. You feel tension melt from your shoulders as you open the passenger door, sliding inside even though he doesn’t acknowledge your presence. Mina helps you close your door, sticking her face in the open window to say, “Hello Min Yoongi!”

“Hi Choi Mina,” he murmurs, not looking up from his phone. 

She is undeterred. “It’s been quite a while since we have seen each other.”

“It has,” he answers, before cussing softly under his breath and angrily throwing the phone in the empty cup. Mina’s eyes widen at his actions, making you giggle. You knew Yoongi wasn’t really angry, just irritated—nothing that would cause the concern the ballerina was showing.

“I just wanted to tell you that your wife is lovely. Truly, we all couldn’t take our eyes off her. You really picked a winner,” she states diplomatically, playing her part well. 

Yoongi finally looks up at her, eyes bored as he moves to rest a hand on your thigh. “You really think so? I think she’s kind of awful,” he says darkly, though the pads of his fingers rub small circles onto the skin of your thigh. You try to scoff at his words, but it transforms into a quiet laugh. “She’s cute enough I guess, but I wouldn’t call her lovely. I mean she’s not a ballet dancer or anything. Just a stripper. And she spends all my money, too. I don’t even think we would be together if I was broke.” The ballerina’s mouth drops open in shock at his words and you press your lips together hard to stop from laughing. After three years of dating and so much supposed love between them, she should have been able to tell when Yoongi was joking; but it was clear she had no idea. 

“Min Yoongi, that’s no way to talk about the woman you married! If you are having a bad day, you do not take it out on others,” she chides, turning her head to you finally. “I’m so sorry he is being this way with you. I hope his actions don’t stop you from coming to the next brunch and that he cleans up this act!” Mina bows her head to you slightly before turning swiftly and heading back inside the restaurant.

You let out a deep sigh and Yoongi squeezes your thigh gently. “Thanks for playing along,” he tells you sincerely. You shrug, but he continues, “Not just with Mina, you know. I mean with this whole… thing.”

“It was just brunch. No need to thank me.”

“It was a brunch with my ex present. That’s just… not right.”

“Yoongi, it’s okay. You wanted me to go, so I went. I’m just sorry that I made you pick me up early.” 

He clicks his tongue at you in disbelief, removing his hand from your thigh to put the car in drive and pull away from the curb. He is silent for a few minutes, leading you to believe that he has accepted your lies until he says, “I didn’t want you to go. Namjoon suggested it. I knew you wouldn’t have a good time, but he insisted that you might make some friends.” 

You hum quietly at his words, wondering if that’s who he was texting when you first got in the car. “So you’re not mad that I left early?”

He shakes his head. “I’m surprised you didn’t ask to leave earlier. I was waiting for you to call for hours.”

Your heart swells at his admission. He knows you well. “Yoongi?”

“Yes?”

“I love you.” He nods in acknowledgement of your words, but says nothing. You try again. “You make me happy.” He reaches a hand over the center console to grab your own, a small smirk resting on his lips as he continues to stare ahead. “I’m happy I’m here with you.” 

“I love you, too,” he finally responds. You know he believes you. 

#yoongi scenarios #min yoongi scenarios #yoongi drabbles #min yoongi drabbles #suga scenarios #suga drabbles #bts scenarios #bts drabbles #au: fools rush in #suga fluff #yoongi fluff #min yoongi fluff #bts fluff #sailor belle writes

[btsandvmin]

u really think vm is real? iv been shipping vm(romantically) for more then 2 years now not only vm i have shipped every ship in maknae line and tbh there was not even a single day when i thought vm can be real(also bcoz i dont wanna get my hopes high)i mean i have seen ur list of things which makes u think vm is real but other ships have those too they have stronger evidence then us viminers i am also open minded but i really cant see anything btw vm i jst ship them bcoz of their special bond

Thank you for the ask, it’s not a simple ask, but I tried my best to answer it. Sorry if it got a bit long.

First of all I think the list you mention is my “10 Reasons to ship Vmin”, which is not a list of proof for Vmin being real, but rather of reasons to why you can ship them romantically. Something people can do no matter if they are real or not, and which I personally think Vmin have enough chemistry for. I just don’t personally understand why Vmin’s moments would be so much more “just friends” compared to moments between other ships, so I made that post to show that there are moments that make Vmin ship-worthy as well. That being said, if you don’t see any possible romantic or sexual spark between Jimin and Taehyung and just like their bond there is nothing wrong with that. I am not here to make people believe in Vmin.

So, do I really think Vmin is real?

A short answer to this question is no, I do not believe that Vmin is real, as in that I believe they are in a relationship. But I do think there is a possibility that they are. I know Vmin love each other, but I don’t claim to know how. As an outsider that is impossible for me or anyone else to know unless they state it clearly themselves. Something they would likely never do even if they are in a relationship because of their situation and homophobic culture.

The most likely thing is that no ship is real. Just imagine what a risk it would be to themselves and their brand. There might be attraction, but I think it would take a lot for that to be turned into action and even more for it to turn into a relationship in the sense how most of us perceive the word. Personally I think being in a relationship that you would have to hide like that, and just not being straight in the first place would come with a lot of hurt and stress. In that way it would maybe be better if no ship was real. I don’t know, so basically I just try to stay grounded because there are many possibilities and too many unknown factors for me to come to a firm conclusion.

The same goes for Ji/kook and Tae/kook or any other ship, within our outside of the group, straight or non-straight. They could be real, but I don’t know. However I think some ships have potential to be real, and they aren’t equally likely based on what I can observe and my own interpretations. But interpretations aren’t something you can trust to 100% either. Basically, completely believing a ship is real is in my own opinion not something you should do when there is no real “proof”.

I would use the same logic for their sexualities as well, I don’t know so I won’t say anything for certain until they tell us themselves (which is also a bit difficult since it will always be much harder to state not being straight). However I won’t assume they are straight either, I will of course collect info and base my own guesses on what I observe. For example, I think it’s very likely that not all members are straight, especially considering how BTS and Big Hit show a lot of lgbt+ support despite being from Korea (if any group might have their members come out as non-straight it might be BTS). Personally, I think Taehyung and JK has given me the most reason to think they are not straight, while I think Namjoon is at the very least attracted to women. But I could be wrong since it’s just based in my own views and guesses. What I try to do is to keep an open mind, and this goes for most topics. These are real human beings that I don’t know or interact with personally, and people are complex. There could be a million things I miss, either because they don’t want me to see it or because I simply fail to notice. There are just too many missing pieces to come to a definitive conclusion.

And that brings me to the “proof” or “evidence” that shippers tend to talk about. Frankly, I think the fact that you say that two other ships have more evidence than Vmin says a lot. Because if both Ji/kook and Tae/kook has “proof”, that means that unless both are real, that at least some of those things that people see as proof are simply misinterpretations. This goes for every single thing that shippers bring up. There can be a hundred of reasons behind the things they see and find strange that aren’t because two people are romantically or sexually involved. We also assume that if a ship is “real” that that means they are romantically involved, because that is our ideal scenario that we want to see. Even if two or more members are more than friends, they could be friends with benefits, aromantic, asexual etc. there are a lot of different types of relationships that could be the truth.

I’ve been in other fandoms, and there is for example a Japanese idol group that I love and have followed for a really long time. Members of this groups has admitted to kissing while drunk and basically shipping their own members. So even seeing two members kiss could be for other reasons than them being in a romantic relationship. Just think of how many groups there are and how many ships people analyze and believe is real, how high are the odds that all of them really are? Not that high. People see what they want to see, and that will always interfere with a person’s judgement.

That being said, I do think Vmin could be real, based on things I have seen and interpreted myself. That doesn’t automatically erase the possibility of another ship being real though, and I have said before that I personally think that if any ship would be real one of the maknae line pairs would be the most likely. It’s just me personally that weigh my own reasons based on what I have seen that makes me reach the conclusion that Vmin makes the most sense. This is also partially tainted by my own bias, as that is something no shipper can escape. Again, people see what they want to see, and it can be hard to accept things that goes against your own beliefs.

What I don’t agree with is that Tae/kook and Ji/kook has more “evidence”. I don’t like calling it that, but hints or clues isn’t really right either. People have analyzed these ships more, but just because something is popular and get talked about a lot that doesn’t mean it’s the most likely. Vmin has always been a step behind because of their platonic label and that means that people already since years back has gotten it ingrained that they are only platonic. But is there really that much of a difference between the ships? Most of the things that you see in shipping videos all the members of Bangtan do. Sleep together, slap butts, hold hands, hug, say they love each other etc. etc. the list goes on. Using these things as evidence by saying “it just feels different between them” is not evidence to me, this goes for Vmin as well.

These things are too difficult to interpret to use as any type of hard evidence, especially since you see the members do most of these things with others as well. But even if it is exclusive it doesn’t have to mean romantic love or sexual attraction. Heart eyes and jealousy are in my opinion the worst examples of these things because the looks could literally mean anything. Take for example Vmin holding hands, they do this a lot, and unprompted simply because they seem to want to. It makes me squeal to see it, and I love it and think it’s proof of their close bond and love for each other. But I would not say it proves that they are in a relationship together. It could be 100% platonic. It can be a point to make me think it’s more likely but in the end it’s just one thing that might make me lean more in that direction.

So, besides my preference and bias towards Vmin, why do I then think Vmin is more likely compared to other ships? Well, in the only way I can, which is based on my own observations. Which are in turn also dyed by my own preexisting beliefs in how relationships look like and work, which could be completely incorrect since I don’t know how the members of BTS would think about and look at these topics themselves. Especially since their situation is rather extreme and they come from a different culture.

From what I see Vmin still share hotel rooms at least sometimes, they have slipped up before in various ways “Jimin and friends” trying to correct themselves or play it off as a joke and in general seem to be rather careful themselves with how they speak about and too each other. This goes for how the other members talk about them as well. I’ve mentioned Namjoon talking about Vmin “being great friends” a lot, and for me I just think the context of how and when he says these things seems a bit odd at times. I think the fact that everyone keeps saying how Vmin are the closest, how they call each other soulmates and a lot of other examples that come from the members themselves make it less likely for other ships to be real. Because these are things that Vmin doesn’t have to do, but they do them because they want to. I’ve talked about their neediness and how it seems they can’t be apart for too long and other things that could be platonic, but still kind of makes other ships less likely in my own mind. For me the way Vmin behave with each other simply makes me more inclined to think they could potentially be real compared to other ships in the group. I have seen theories for all ships, and I think some are really interesting, but nothing I have seen for any ship has been enough to convince me that it’s real or to make me believe in them more than in Vmin. I have seen things about Vmin that are also weird and interesting to analyze, mostly on my own because as we know there aren’t that many Vmin analysis out there. But the things I have seen still makes me raise my eyebrows sometimes. But I know I could be wrong.

To summarize I think a lot of proof and evidence that people talk about are overrated and often very misleading because how it’s presented. I think that it’s dangerous to stay too focused on only one possibility and be completely certain that what you think is the only answer. I know that Vmin has been underrated and lack the same type of focused investigating that other ships have been subjugated to. In the end all I can really do is take in the things I see and weigh them against each other to come up to likely scenarios in my head and to me Vmin being in a relationship could make sense.

I write my own analysis and share them, but in the end these are just my views that I share with you. Every person could think and see different things and we don’t know the truth, so all I really do is give different possible explanations. I also think Vmin could use more analysis to balance against the other ships. Though the fact that there are so many weird things to find with multiple pairs in itself seems to indicate that they are all less likely to be real.

Thanks for the ask, and sorry for the long and complicated reply (I feel like I might come off as a bit pretentious). But I think this fandom could do well with being a little less black and white. Either way, I love Vmin’s bond no matter what kind of love they have for each other, and I will keep on writing analysis. For fun, and because sometimes there really are things that I think are worth looking into. Thank you again, this was an interesting question to try and answer.

#vmin #vmin analysis #bts shipping #vmin is real #ask #btsandvmin

[vegetalass]

Don’t Just Eat the Egg, Eat the Whole Damn Nest

LMFAOOO i wrote most of this WEEKS ago after I saw this post on @rockboci’s blog abt WHAT IF twig was a RO and i was like…. Dam they right

Found it again 2nite and finished it up

Tfw ur sidestep but u also have a crush on sidestep :(

i also really wanted to figure out how to make that scenario of ‘two sidesteps’ work bc.... Damn we all sidestep bros

I also saw another post on Malin’s blog about peoples sidesteps interacting… and i was like…. Yea…. me too…

Ive been SOO busy lately that i havent been keeping up with fallen hero but all the spoilers i do see look LIT

Hopefully i can catch up soon!

Warning: contains Fallen Hero: Retribution spoilers.

FH:R belongs to @fallenhero-rebirth and Twig belongs to @rockboci

gn!Sidestep/Twig - 1229 words

It’s uh... funny the way things work out. The way that fate sometimes decides to run its course right off the track and straight into the stratosphere.  

You’ve always heard people joke about things such as alternate universes, or parallel lives, yet it has always led to you wonder why it was you that actually happened to end up in one.

Metaphorically speaking, of course, because you like to pretend that you’re someone completely normal and that nothing bad has ever happened to you in your life. EVER.

Not that you’ve ever truly managed to convince yourself of that, as there are a lot of things that you’ve done and have had done to you that you’d rather not think about, but you try to live your life the way someone normal does. You eat the things you like, you smoke the things you want, and you do your best to believe that everything is easier now that you’re not living a life that someone else created for you.

And what can fate do about that?

Nothing, because you continue to watch Twig do exactly the same.

They don’t look like you, not even close, and still, it seems as though you’ve been following their tracks since before you can even remember. Back before you had seen the sky, when you still used to listen to other kids whisper about who had and who hadn’t managed to see the real world as if it wouldn’t get you all killed if anyone human heard.

You know they all did, and knowing that is even the reason you got to escape.

“You know,” Ortega said once, interrupting your thoughts while wiping coffee cake crumbs off his cheek as he spoke, “I did tell Chen you were nice.”

You try to be kind. You try to be strong. And you like to hope that you know Twig a little better than you have ever let on.

Granted, they know you, too, but... you seem to have some form of mutual understanding when it comes to keeping quiet about the things that only the both of you know.

Your shared abilities, for one. Your different-yet-shared heinous plans, another. Even Dr. Mortum, and a bunch more stuff like that.

Except that… Twig works for themselves, and you, um... work for the good of the people and all things that come with upturning the government on behalf of getting revenge and once and for all being free.

Vice versa, maybe?

Not that you could ever say that out loud, of course, as you’ve always been more of an “in your head” type of person anyway, which you find to be quite ironic in this case, when Twig just so happens to smile whenever you think anything mean.

Twig knows all this about you, though, as well as the in-your-head revenge game that you play, as you find that they actually happen to know a lot. You know they agree when you think about it, and you can always feel the way Twig’s thoughts shift from black to white as if they were saying “cheers” to the single-person party in their mind that was made up of only you.

You don’t catch them smirking. You never do. 

That being said, Twig is… not really a secret. Not to you, at least. And it’s a funny battle that you fight almost every single day, because you aren’t a secret to them, either.

Twig sees Ortega. You, in a way, look, at Ortega. Twig looks at Herald, and you, just as strangely, see Herald.

Or... something like that, at least. You don’t think too hard about what’s really happening anymore, spending more time focusing on both getting revenge and then running away for the rest of your sorry life. Twig raises their glass to that thought, as well.

Because it’s as if fate decided to slice the world in two when you died during the Heartbreak at the exact same time as Twig.

Different room and different window, but still. You would argue that it counts, even if some might say the split came around the same time you were extracted from a water tank into a world already succumbed in tears.

You always knew Twig was actually a crybaby. It was just too bad you didn’t really know them at all, and frankly still don’t.

You just don’t know if that’s a good thing. You don’t know if you want to.

Not that you were ever on the waiting list to become a Ranger the way that Twig was, but you had your moments.

You remember Ortega. His smile, his charm, and his big, warm hands. You remember Chen, who in retrospect didn’t like Twig much either, and how you felt whenever he turned his back towards you but his front towards them. And you definitely remember feeling as favored as a lonely and lost vigilante could ever could, even when Twig gave all the interviews and you simply made your way.

Things weren’t great as a vigilante, but you had your friends, and Twig had theirs. It was just a shame that they were the same people.

You almost wish you could go back. Back to when all the titles (and skintight clothing) still fit, although in some ways, you like to think that sometimes, they still do.

Even if they can and did get you killed.

You can’t blame the Rangers for picking sides, just as you can’t blame Twig for feeling equally as resentful when they failed to find their body, too, and then decided to give up.

Or something.

Whatever.

You have that in common.

Same home, same hospital, same death.

Cheers, Twig!

There’s a silent conversation you have with Twig, one that hangs on the balance beam between trust, empathy, and the fact that you, in a way, almost share blood.

Twig ignored the thought during the last time you saw them. Although, they happen to ignore you a lot, anyway, as you remember in detail how you could only sputter are the blank expression they passed your way during the last time you tried to converse, as if you were never meant to have a place on this split-in-half-earth.

Even if you’re partly why it split.

Oh well.

“I was thinking that, uh..” you start, feeling like one of those ugly gray birds with big red eyes, before you’re interrupted by a voice as cold as steel.  

“Well, maybe you shouldn’t.” Their reply is quick, yet miraculously timed and callous, even if you do your best to assume that it was a joke.

Ortega looks at you with raised eyebrows and shrugs, doing nothing to hide the broken-lipped smirk that opens his jaw.

You try again, voice hoarse “I was thinking that maybe next time you go to the diner, I could come too.”

You try to smile, pushing any annoyance you feel towards Twig full force.

They don’t seemed phased, however, and continue to smile slightly at Ortega’s laugh when he assures you that, yes, you’re always welcome to get dinner with them at “any time and always.”

Twig’s thoughts twist again, the way they always do when you think of them, especially now at your insistence that you don’t want to be left behind, and you can feel that fucking smirk again.

You wonder what it’s like to have a sibling.

#fallen hero rebirth #fallen hero: rebirth #fallen hero: retribution #fallen hero spoilers #CATCH me never interacting in this fandom again #tbh i didnt think id have the motivation to finish this but i reread it and i was like DAM THIS SHIT SLAPS! #but i wrote it pretty quickly so it might be weird #anyways sorry rockboci i stole twig for a bit #LOOOOL

[logan-are-you-okay]

Anti’s Backstory part 5

Nurse: “Sir, I need you to calm down so we can check what’s wrong.”

Jack: “No! I want my Dr!”

Nurse: “Then who’s your doctor then?”

Jack: “You just kicked him out of here when I asked! I don’t trust any of you fuckers!”

Jack then starts pulling on his brown hair. The pain was so intense that he keepings trying to hurt himself in other places so he can focus on something less mild.

Nurse: “Sir. You need to take a deep breath so we can put in your IV.”

Jack: “Fuck you!”

He doesn’t mean to be rude, that isn’t the kind of person that he is. But when he is basically feels like he’s getting his leg pulled off, that can cause a little manners to change.

Somehow the nurse... with ten other nurses are able to get Jack’s IV into his arm where the release a drug to help him with the pain so it doesn’t hurt as much anymore. Once he’s finally able to calm down he looks at the nurse how was talking to him.

Jack: “Sorry... I didn’t mean to swear.”

He the proceeds to rub the back of his neck in embarrassment.

Nurse: “It happens all the time. The Dr will come in soon to see what is the problem.

Jack: “Thank you.”

Even though his leg still hurt like hell, he did want to calm down. Acting like that wasn’t something That he liked to do. Even if it was just from the pain.

***

Schneeplstein keeps pacing around in the waiting room. Jacks only been back there for a couple hours, but it feels like an eternity. It was absolute torture to not know what was going on. Why would they just leave him to think of all the bad possibilities that could be happening? Randomly a nurse from the front desk walks over to Schneeplstein.

Nurse: “You’ve been here for quite awhile. Do you want anything to drink or eat?”

Dr. Schneeplstein: “Not really. I just want to know what’s going on so my heart can stop having heart palpitations.”

Nurse raises her eyebrow. She didn’t know if he was joking or not, but that was really weird to just randomly say.

Nurse: “Heart Palpitation?”

Dr. Schneeplstein: “Skipping heart beats. I basically said it because my hearts going time million miles an hour, so it feels like it’s skipping beats.”

Nurse: “Oh, Okay. Is there anyone you need me to check on to see if they’re in stable condition?”

Schneeplstein’s eyes light up. If she could do that, why the hell wouldn’t they just come out and say that he’s fine. God, this hospital needs better protocols.

Dr. Schneeplstein: “Sean McLoughlin.” (I DONT KNOW HOW TO SPELL JACKS LAST NAME)

The nurse goes back to the front desk and types in Jack’s name. Surprisingly, he’s been able to see visitors for the past hour.

Nurse: “He’s stable, you can go back and see him. Room 24-A.”

Without a second thought Schneeplstein runs through the automatic doors to the room the nurse said. He didn’t even say thank you, he was to worried about Jack.

***

Once he gets inside the room, he sees a nurse changing out the IV fluid while Jack was asleep. At least he was able to calm down. Schneeplstein then goes over and sits down in a chair next to Jack’s medical bed. The new nurse notices that he just came in and recognize him almost instantly.

Nurse: “You said you where in the middle of getting your License right?”

Dr. Schneeplstein: “Uh... yeah, Something on those lines, sure.”

Nurse: “Well his broken leg was worse than we thought. There’s a certain medical term that you wouldn’t have learned yet. When the leg broke it ruptured a vein and the blood started to clot and run up to his chest. That was the stinging pain that he felt that went to his spine. Also the bone wasn’t fix back into its original place when it was attempted to reset it. Which confused his brain and heart which sent blood to his lungs.”

Dr. Schneeplstein: “What the fuck!? How on earth does that happen. He was fine until he tried walking around!”

Nurse: “It takes a while for the syptomes to accrue.”

Dr. Schneeplstein: “Is that why he’s wearing a breathing Mask?”

The nurse nods and then leaves after finishing changing Jack’s IV fluid. Schneeplstein then looks over Jack who looks like he’s having a nightmare. To bad they can’t help with that part. He sighs to himself, and decides to grab his phone and take a picture of Jack. Knowing that he had blood in his lungs, means that he’s going to be stuck here for quite awhile. Schneeplstein then uploads the photo to Jack’s twitter and tells them briefly of what happen acting as if he was Jack, and that a friend took the picture while he slept.

Almost instantly people start freaking out and wishing that he’ll get better. That’s one thing Schneeplstein loved about Jack’s community that he created. All the love and support, them never thinking he was just doing it for popularity. Schneep then looks over at the clock hanging on the wall.

7:48 AM.

Wow, time passed a lot faster than he has expected. Since Jack’s asleep there’s no point in him being awake. So he props himself against the chairs and falls asleep.

***

Jack jumps awake from the nightmare he was having. It felt so real, and it didn’t help that the breathing mask felt like it was suffocating him. He makes an attempt to take it off, but Schneeplstein stops him from doing so.

Dr. Schneeplstein: “Don’t take it off Jack! You need it to help you breathe!”

Jack: “I can breathe just fine Schneep, I don’t need this to help me.”

Schneeplstein then makes a very stern look at Jack, which prompts him to keep the mask on.

Dr. Schneeplstein: “I know you made a video about your broken leg, but I posted a picture on twitter saying it. You scared the living daylights out of me you know.”

Jack: “I didn’t CHOOSE to break my leg you know.”

Dr. Schneeplstein: “Whatever, but lots of people are wishing you to get better.”

Jack starts smiling. He hasn’t ever been really Hurt while doing YouTube, so having people send ‘get well’ stuff was amazing. Even all of Twitter was filled with getting better fanwork. It was amazing.

Suddenly a Doctor walks in... they think? He wasn’t wearing the usual uniform that the other doctors were wearing. He had on a long polo shirt, with scruffy gray hair. He then walks over to Jack and takes of the air mask. Instantly earning him an angry Schneeplstein to stand up.

Dr. Schneeplstein: “Hey!”

The Doctor?: “He doesn’t need it anymore, he’s able to breathe fine now.”

Schneeplstein quickly looks over at Jack to make sure he can breathe alright, which thankfully he can. He then looks over at the so called doctor. Schneep May not be licensed, but he knows that, that would not be acceptable.

The possible doctor then sits on the bed next to Jack, which instantly raised some concerns. Doctors where NOT suppose to do that. Jack has a pretty good bullshit detector, and this man was setting it off like wild fire. But he still wanted to be nice.

Jack: “So... what brings you in Doctor?”

Defiantly a doctor that doesn’t look suspicious at ALL: “I just wanted to warn you, not to be as crazy next time you decided to make woopy.”

What the fuck!? Who the hell was this man to assume such a thing, he probably doesn’t know a thing about what happened so he just assumed!? This made Dr. Schneeplstein’s blood boil!

Dr. Schneeplstein: “Excuse me!? How dare you come in here and assume such a thing! We where not having sex Mr. He’s basically my brother and we’re not gay!”

Jack gets startled in surprise. He has never in his life seen Schneeplstein so mad at someone, he was the most down to earth person out of any of them.

Jack: “Woah, Schneep calm down a little bit.”

Not going to lie, Jack didn’t like how the so called doctor assumed. Maybe it’s because Schneep didn’t have a shirt on, or maybe because they where both guys. It doesn’t matter, but Jack still didn’t like the looks of this doctor.

The doctor: “It’s just common sense to me. But, we would like to give you something for the pain you might be experiencing.”

The doctor turns around to pull something out of his pocket.

Jack: “But.... I’m really not feeling any pain right now?”

The doctor then turns back around carrying a injecting kneedle filled with... a glowing green liquid!

Jack: “Oh hell no! Keep that away from me!”

Jack practically throws himself off of the bed away from the doctor. Pulling out his IV from his arm and the heart monitor which made it sound like he flatlined.

Thankfully Schneeplstein caught Jack in his fit of escape so he didn’t hurt his leg anymore. Even though he barley caught his arms. Even though it sent a sting down Jack’s entire body when hisbleg barely hit the floor.

The doctor: “What? It’s just going to help with the pain.”

Dr. Schneeplstein: “Jack what on earth are you doing!?”

Jack might have had very little sleep last night, but he was still able to put two-two together. Even though it was decades ago, this man looked very Similar to what Anti described in his journal. The gray shaggy hair and age range! Also the glowing green liquid isn’t something just to randomly had. Even jack matched the serial kidnappers victims al except the age range. Maybe it was his son who wanted to replicate his father’s legacy?

Jack: “I don’t want to be anywhere near this psycho!”

Even though Schneeplstein didn’t know what was going on, he didn’t want to be anywhere near this dude either.

The doctor rolls his eyes and leaves the room. However as he leaves, he drops a bar code out of his pocket and doesn’t even notice. But, Jack did. Schneeplstein sets Jack back into the medical bed and reattaches everything to where it’s suppose to be and grabs the bar code off the ground. He then inspects it, but he notices Jack becoming relatively antsy as he does.

Dr. Schneeplstein: “Why are you so excited?”

Jack: “Can I see that real quick?”

Schneeplstein shrugs his shoulders and hands it over to Jack who quickly takes a picture of the bar code and it takes him to some weird website. Schneeplstein looks over Jack’s shoulder and gasps at what the first thing that pops up.

Jack: “What the fuck?”

The first that that appears is a picture of Jack from when he dyed his hair back to its original brown color. The whole website was in a green and black, and there was descriptions of him all over. ‘Age, 27. Hair, Brown. Eye Color, Blue.’ There was very personal stuff on him that he didn’t expect to notice. However one thing stood out to him the most. ‘Resembles subject 748-YB. The one subject who was succefulky able to perform all tests on, yet to far of an extreme to which he died and couldn’t reconnect. Tests have yet to be conducted.’

Normally this would be weird on its own, but after reading Anti’s journal, it’s pretty obvious that subject 748-YB was Anti.

(Doesn’t really have much of Anti, but I’m setting up for something)

#antisepticeye #dr schneeplestein #jacksepticeye #septicart #it counts fanficton is still a form of art

[dreamerology]

anon its Late but.....heres pt 2 aka my kihyun love post

i meant to do this for his bday but never managed to get around to it :( anyways here i am now….back on my kihyun bullshit. i never left but…...I’m Back and more in L*ve than ever. again i dont even know where to start dfjshjfhs icb i didnt used to like him???????? past me was fuckgin dumb! not that i hated him he was just like……..one of my least fave members and now???? dont tell minhyuk but…..Yeah i have so much love in my heart for kihyun :( idek how it started one day i just woke up loving yoo kihyun…...like it wasnt even gradual just one day Bam heart eyes motherfucker nd the rest was history

ANYWAYS  UH i love love love love love love looooooooove how genuine he is in everythign he does???? like the two most recent example are his letter in the fancafe nd his little photography signature….did he have to actually handwrite the letter to post it????? NO. but did he??? YOU BET. idk just!!!! its rly sweet bc u could clearly see how much it meant to him that he would go out of his way to write us an actual letter rather than just typing it up nd making a post. and how he said he hand draws his initials on his photography so sorry if theyre a little different every time bicshjd???????/ thats so fuckign cute!!!!!!!!!! he rly loves mbbs so so much and its really clear bc he does little things that add his personal touch to it and idk it just makes me so warm like….hes rly thinking of us sjkhfsjhf we love a caring man :(( o also sorta unrelated but the amount of exclamation points he uses when posting is so cute, bich me too!!!!! like u can always tell its him if theres “!!!” at the end of the message it’s :(( such a cute habit idk it makes me rly happie to see dsjfhkajh

speaking of his initials  on his photography!!!! i love his photography!!!!!!!!!!!! gosh it makes me so happy to see him out there just having a good time enjoying his hobby??? like their lives are so busy im so glad hes found something that he enjoys and that he can spend time on while still keeping up w his busy schedule. also hes just rly fuckign good at it!!!!!!! im gonna make a whole museum dedicated to pictures ur all welcome to come visit once its done, people are gonna come from across the world to see it nd all the proceeds will b donated to The Monstas. ANYWAYS hes rly good!!!!!!!! like i only kno The Basics abt photography but he’s rly out there u kno! im in awe! and he just loves talking abt it and sharing it and i can see how much he likes it and how passionate he is!!! i could listen to him talk abt it forever he just sorta...Lights Up its so sweet

also ok one of the first things i started noticing that i found rly cute was like how whenever he gets rly embarrassed he’ll make that scrunched up face or he’ll just like…….Jump fkjsdhfjd its so cute????? like his face during this dsfhkdjhf or jumping at the end of this when he tries to act sexy dsfhjkdsh i love a whole dork hes so funny. he knows hes gonna get embarrassed but he does it anyways!!! i wish i was the care free dsjfhskjdh

AND HIS SMILE FUCK! its the most precious thing ive ever seen wtf!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! his smile is so bright and warm it makes me sososososoooooo happy!!!!! not 2 b sappy but i rly get the biggest butterflies whenevr i see his smile thats the number one source of my happiness right there folks! a the lil dimples he gets on his cheeks when he smiles rly big :( they’re so cute i’ve never rly noticed anyone else that had them before. i just! his smile is so precious idk what else to say!!! when he smiles rly big nd u can see his teeth….cute :( AND HIS LAUGH FUCK! its so cute when he laughs so hard he just drops out of the frame dksjfksjdh hes got one of the best whole body laughs he just collapses in on himself its so adorbale jhkdjssjfk the sound of his laugh? music to my ears!!! i hope hes always that happie :(((

o another point is his freckles :(( i hate how half the time theyre covered up by makeup but whenever i see them im like HELLO! I LOVE U!!!!!!! NICE TO SEE U!! the one on the corner of his mouth is my best friend but also the hes got one on his finger too dskfhkjhf also in this pic u can see them all rly closely, i look at this at least once daily & just cry. and the one near his temple too :(( cute!!! if u take anyway anythign from this post kno im the #1 kihyun freckle enthusiast

not 2 forget how hardworking and caring he is!!!!!!! and how his voice is one of the most calming things to listen to! i know i say that abt everyone but i looooove listening to him talk so much, his voice is so soft. thats not even including his vocals…...theres a reason hes the main vocal singer!!!! sometimes i remember that you and i exists nd he rapped in it and i instantly go bald….what a talented man is there anything he cant do?? and how his eyes are probably the prettiest ive ever seen i swear theyre made from pure honey…….and his hands!!!!! everyone always teases me for having tiny ass baby hands but jokes on them bc they were made 2 hold kihyuns hands :( everything he does is so endearing hes so cute!!!! oh and his confidence!!!! idk how much of it is for show but if i had even 2% of his confidence levels i feel like i’d be a better person dskjfhkjhf

unrelated to the love post but hes been looking So Good lately and he knows it and its dangerous for my health. every morning i wake up and yoo kihyun tells me to go choke and i say gladly! when is he gonna come to canada and finally end my life on thsi plane of existence please im Tired

#i cried three (3) times while writing this byefhdshfsjhdh #💘

[viking369]

Music and Politics Rant

This is a long one. If you're looking for the TL;DR version, sorry oh denizens of Short Attention Span Theatre, there isn't one. This is cross-posted from my other blog. My oldest (Thing 1) and I recently had a debate over the relative musical merits of Kate Bush: I think she has merit, Thing 1 thinks she does not. It was one of those debates and ultimate disagreements that reasonable, educated people have that, far from being destructive, add the sort of spice to life to keep it from being an unrelieved death march. I'm not a fanboy for anyone, including Kate Bush. I long ago started thinking of her as the Charles Ives of pop music: a pile of interesting ideas that often deliver something significant but at least as often get in each other's way. Like Ives, people tend to either love her or hate her and have legitimate reasons for both positions, but tend to simply entrench for "reasons." And this sort of "debating" got me thinking (a dangerous prospect). The whole discussion with Thing 1 started when I watched a 2014 BBC documentary on Kate Bush. I thought it was pretty well done. It showed a number of intelligent, talented people who find merit in Bush's work. It interviewed Lindsay Kemp, who still had four years left in the tank at that point, and showed his influence on art rock at the time (basically everybody from Bowie on) (It also showed a couple of other things, perhaps without meaning to. It showed through Kemp's gestures the extent of mime vocabulary's influence on what might be characterized as "gay mannerisms", Kemp being a dancer and choreographer with heavy mime influence, having studied with Marcel Marceau. It also shows the difference between European artists and intellectuals and US pseudos. In the interviews, several people casually remark on having seen Kemp's "Flowers", based on Jean Genet's "Notre Dame des Fleurs". You would be hard-pressed to find any in the US to this day, outside of core LGBTQ+ culture, who have heard of Kemp, "Flowers", or even Jean Genet other than by reference.). And then toward the end it shows why rock critics as a group are ignorant, vicious little parasites. More on that below the fold, wherever the Hell that might be. Once upon a time I was in newspapers, and one of the things I did was write music reviews. It was a paycheck, and as I’ve noted elsewhere, I’ve always been closely involved with music. I wrote by two rules: 1) Be consistent, and 2) make it about the music on its own terms. On the first point, it doesn’t matter if the readers agree with you; they just need to know what to expect from you. If they know you don’t like a particular artist or a particular type of music, they can read you through the appropriate filter. The second point breaks in two. First, it’s about the music, not the people. I did not savage Van Halen because they were pricks who brutalized the little people who had to service their every whim. I went after Eddie Van Halen (who let’s face it was the real core of the band) who went shredding up and down the fretboard at random with no regard for chordal or modal structures (In fairness to Mr. Van Halen, he no longer plays like that and is a far superior musician than when every blockhead with a K-Mart electric six-string thought Eddie was God and gave us a generation of speed monkeys with zero musicianship.) (The speed monkey syndrome unfortunately spread to other instruments. It was the overwhelming norm among the Celtic fiddlers who followed Bonnie Rideout to Ann Arbor and insisted on playing faster than their talents, compensating by dropping notes out at random, and then blaming all the rest of us for all the ensemble issues. To all of you, I give an eternal, “Fuck you and the banshee of an instrument you tuck under your hiply stubbled chins and rape with your bows.”). Second, you have to put it in the music’s own frame of reference. It makes no sense to pan a Metropolitan Opera performance of Cosi fan Tutte because it isn’t a Black Sabbath concert. I realized early on that almost no rock music critics could grasp either of my rules (From this point on, you may assume that “Robert Christgau is a wanker” is flashing subliminally in the background.). From the beginning of such things, Rolling Stone has been the center of rock criticism (I just damned near wrote “crock recidivism”. I’m not a nice person.). It has also been the center of what is wrong with rock criticism for just as long. These guys were groupies. They were wannabes who couldn’t cut it, so they hung out with the guys who could, basking in the limelight. The reviews weren’t reviews, they were hagiographies. “The music must be great because I party with these guys.” “They must be significant because I party with these guys.” Everything was on a chummy, first-name-only basis (“Mick and Keith were really rockin’ it Thursday night.”) that became the norm for roughly forever (Cam Crowe slipped a screamingly funny joke about The Rocket’s review style in his movie Singles.). As tastes changed and their substance-abuse buddies died, faded away, or became arena bands (and now nostalgia bands playing the Peppermill in Wendover), Rolling Stone found itself unsuccessfully playing catch-up, jumping on every bandwagon that rolled down the street in a desperate attempt to get in front of The Next Big Thing and failing miserably. If it weren’t for Matt Taibbi, that rag would have no reason to exist. In the 70s other rags stepped into the breach, but they took the Stone’s style sheet and were all clones of one another. They couldn’t comprehend my rules, either. I remember one of these rags (probably Circus, but who honestly gives a shit at this point, they were fungible) going after every Harry Chapin recording because it “wasn’t rock.” Well no shit, Sherlock. Chapin wasn’t a rocker, he was a folkie, self-proclaimed, and condemning him for not being what he wasn’t was…well…not even wrong. Congratulations, rock critics, you just earned Stephen Frys’s second-greatest insult, right after “I almost care.” There was one exception to the Clone Wars: Creem. But that didn’t make it good, just different. Admittedly, Creem was covering a lot of things no one else was, including the early days of punk and all that was happening over at CBGB. But my gods the pretension. Memo to Lester Bangs: Just because you covered something doesn’t mean you invented it. Just because you came up with the label “punk rock” doesn’t mean you created punk rock. Punk rock was created by garage bands (US) and pub bands (UK) (I always envied the UK guys because no matter how, frankly, BAD you were, there was someone willing to book you. Here in the US? Not so much. Although you could always get homecoming and prom gigs if you were just another shitty cover band.) (Punk was spawned by my half-generation, the Late Boomers. The reason was simple: We were fucking sick and tired of the hypocrisy of the Early Boomers, our big brothers and sisters. They were the 60s Children, the Flower People, and they were still peddling that bullshit even though the wheels had fallen off the wagon and there was a global recession. They accused us of being self-centered for not “working for change” like them while they busily leveraged the huge advantage of having sucked up everything before we ever got on the scene. They took their 60s, corporatized, commoditized, packaged, and slapped a smiley face on them, and expected us to swallow it all without question. The problem was that we just didn’t believe hard enough in the dream. Meanwhile we were saying, “The fuck? Our dreams hit the wall at 110 per in Fall ’73! The wreckage is everywhere, but you dicks and everybody else is just stepping over it like it isn’t there!” We wanted to wave our private parts at them, so we did. Which is a long way of telling you Millennials that, if you lump the Early and Late Boomers together, your ignorance is showing. Yeah, there are plenty of Late Boomers who sold out [You hear me, Barry Obama? You sold us all out, but history will always remember you fondly because you landed between the Texas Turd Tornado and Hitler 2.0.], but we were the first ones to face the New Normal you folks are now dealing with. You need old wise men and women for your villages? Trust me, we’re available in hordes.) As yet another aside, there were garage bands, and there were garage bands. None of us were very good, but most of us wanted to improve to something resembling competency. The early punkers simply didn’t care (Hell, a lot of them, such as the New York Dolls, were so bad they made The Kingsmen sound like conservatory virtuosos. And the Noo Yuck critics, apparently on permanent bad acid trips from frequent visits to Andy Whore-wall’s Fucktory, kept rubbing out one after another for them all. “Daringly campy!” “A raw, animal sound!” Shit-shoveling by rapidly deteriorating white guys desperate to continue being perceived as bleeding edge.). Fortunately, this only lasted a few years before a lot of the punkers decided it maybe would not be so inauthentic if they actually learned how to play their instruments. I don’t care what John Lydon continues to blow out his ass, Black Flag was never boring. But I really can’t leave the topic of pretension without a mention of The Village Voice, the self-proclaimed font of all things cool and hip for over six decades and running. In reality The Village has been overrun with gentrifying yuppie scum straight off the set of Thirtynothing since before Rudy Giuliani parked his malignancy in the Mayor’s Office, and The Voice has followed suit. And Robert Christgau was at the center of it all. It has never ceased to amaze me how someone so admittedly ignorant could be such an expert on everything. He admits he is “not at all well-schooled” (understatement) in 50s and 60s jazz, yet he has reviewed jazz artists such as Miles Davis, Ornette Coleman, and Sonny Rollins without any of that context and has declared Frank Sinatra the greatest singer of the 20th Century (A meaningless statement. How can you compare Sinatra and, say, Pavarotti? You can’t, and anyone with a lick of humility and two brain cells to rub together doesn’t even try.) while apparently ignorant of Nelson Riddle’s role in creating Sinatra’s best albums. He was an early promoter of punk, right through all the “authentic vs. poseur” wars, blissfully unaware that this was not a rebellion unique to punk but rather was a recurring fight in music, most recently before that in the “this is jazz/this is not jazz” that started with the rise of bebop after the Second World War, that caused a butt-ton of damage to the genre, and that Miles Davis was a pivotal player in until he finally got over it and put on that shiny red leather suit and released Bitches Brew, which Christgau unironically nominated to Jazz & Pop as jazz album of the year in 1970. He considers the New York Dolls one of the five greatest artists of all time. Please. The Dolls were influential, true, and for two reasons: 1) Their show was cheap and entertaining and so readily copiable and copied, and 2) their musicianship was so crude a half-trained baboon could cover it. Not exactly reasons to put them in GOAT contention. Finally, Christgau doesn’t like and is nearly completely ignorant of classical music. This tells me so many things, but two bubble immediately to the surface: 1) He has neither the music history nor the music theory to hold 90% (at least) of the opinions he’s been paid for over the last half-century, and 2) he’s a shallow little shit who needs to sit in a corner and STFU. And believe it or not, all that was just a warm-up to get around to John Harris. Toward the end of the Kate Bush documentary is a roundtable discussion of her latest album (Aerial) by several UK rock critics, including Harris. Harris makes the remark that the music sounds like something you’d hear in a department store and that it’s obvious Bush hadn’t been in a studio for 12 years. I’ll start with the statements themselves and then turn to their wider ramifications. Department store music? I’d like to know where Harris hangs out that this is the ambient Muzak. Let’s chalk this one up to hyperbole and move on to the “12 years” remark. He doesn’t really elaborate on this (not entirely his fault, given the roundtable format) so we can only speculate on his actual point. Do her pipes sound rusty? Not really. Does the technology sound dated? No (And trust me, I keep up. It’s not like I sit around listening to Sergeant Pepper’s going, “Oh wow, they played those tapes backwards!”), and even if it did, that would be one to lay on the producer and the engineer. Is the music dated? An ambiguous word, “dated”, but I’m afraid we’ve finally reached what Harris was driving at. By “dated” do we mean it doesn’t sound like other music being produced now? First, when has Kate Bush ever sounded like anyone else, and second when did sounding like everyone else become a standard of musical quality? It hasn’t and it shouldn’t, but I’m afraid this is the point Harris is trying to make. Perhaps, though, he meant this sounds like her old material. Saying that an artist is repeating themself is a helpful criticism, especially if you explain why you think so. Frankly that’s a point I can agree with; I find a certain sameness in her work since Hounds of Love. But that isn’t even remotely what Harris says. He says she sounds old-fashioned, which is never a useful comment, merely a pejorative one, and worse, a pejorative aimed not just at the artist but at the listener. You are listening to old-fashioned music. You are old-fashioned. You are outdated. Catch up! Under the best of circumstances, this is unmitigated bullshit. Coming from Harris, it is unmitigated bullshit that is part of a career full of it. Harris’s cred as a “serious person” essentially rests on his 2003 book The Last Party: Britpop, Blair and the Demise of English Rock (repackaged in 2004 as Britpop: Cool Britannia and the Spectacular Demise of English Rock) and the follow-up BBC Four 2005 documentary The Britpop Story. His thesis is that 90s Britpop was the last great shining moment for UK pop. No, really. At this point, let facts be placed before a candid world. The UK has been a popular music powerhouse for quite awhile, and by “powerhouse” I mean a global influence. Let’s start arbitrarily with Gilbert & Sullivan, pass the baton to Ivor Novello, and then to Noel Coward. The Second World War made hash of it all, and the post-war generation found that the US had stolen the baton, but rather than going gentle into that not-so-good night, both the rockers and the mods invaded the US and stole much of the thunder back. This continued into the 70s, whether you’re talking about arena bands, metal, prog rock, or punk, and on into the 80s, again whether you’re talking about power pop, synthpop, or New Wave. Big influences that can still be heard around the world. Compare Britpop. The whole point of Britpop was to be a calculated foil for Grunge and as safe and marketable as possible, the perfect theme music for the Tony Blair years. It has so little edge it couldn’t leave a mark on a piece of talc. Its influence has been negligible except as a template for profitable pap. In 1997 the whole sham came unraveled as Oasis released the bloated disappointment Be Here Now and Blur abandoned the field to join the US “lo-fi” movement. Their lasting influence is Coldplay, and let’s be honest, if Coldplay is your gold standard, I’m afraid you actually have a pyrite mine. But Harris thinks Britpop was the shining end of UK rock. There are a number of holes in this assertion; two are glaring. First, there are still plenty of new bands in the UK churning out good stuff (That Harris seems blissfully ignorant of these bands makes me wonder just who is out-dated and needs to catch up.). Look them up yourselves; I’m not falling into the trap of naming a few here. Suffice it to say they’re diverse, and you’re likely to hit on several you consider acceptable regardless of your musical tastes. They’ve even been having an influence in the EU, but we’ll see what Brexit brings (Influence in the US? Not so much since we have reached a level of insularity here that rules out anything beyond our borders having merit, in spite of having access to it all on The Interwebz.). And these bands have a Hell of a lot more to offer than the Britpop slag did. Which brings us to glaring hole two. As noted previously, Britpop didn’t really have an impact. None outside of the UK, and damned little in the UK on any time scale longer than the life of a mayfly. Britpop was a nothingburger with a side of flies and a So? Duh! Harris, though, raises this localized, ephemeral phenomenon and turns it into the last scion of the UK pop tradition. This should just be considered a bad case of the sillies, except that Harris’s new schtick is political commentary, especially for The Grauniad. In keeping with The Graun’s policies, his position is “Support Remain but maintain that ‘both sides have merit’.” Which raises his Britpop position from silly to ironic, because Harris’s thinking on Britpop (“It was important in the UK, ergo it was IMPORTANT!”) is just the sort of insular, UK=World mentality that made Brexit possible. Brexit happened, for the most part, because of a bunch of people who believed that, whatever the puzzle was, the UK was the only piece that mattered. Harris’s elevation of Britpop on so high a pedestal rests on the same belief, even though he’s a Remainer. So it’s unintentionally ironic. It’s symptomatic of a malignant mindset. And it’s still silly. And so I give you Christgau and Harris, Exhibits 1 and 2 in my case for the beyond-uselessness of rock critics. And the former is still being allowed to write revisionist histories of the music of the last half-century while the latter is still being allowed to…well…write. What a world.