#sorry im being such a burden

[hopelessly-hopeful-romantic]

I'm so fucking unnecessary, I hate it.

#unnoticed #unloveable #unnecessary #no one wants me #a burden #sorry for being a bother #depression anxiety #im mentally unstable #tw vent #i hate my existence #no one needs me #if i dissapear would anyone notice? #mental illness #mental health #give me attention #no one likes me

[martyrbat]

detective comics #509

[ID: Bruce Wayne sleeping in his penthouse, his eyes squeezed shut as the narration reads, ‘Gordon's strained laugh sounds hollow, but it echos in the Batman's mind... and haunts his dreams...” Bruce awakens to a hand on his shoulder and before he can think, he's twisting it and holding it down. The panel expands, revealing the hand belongs to Alfred as he's almost toppling over! He cries out, “M-master Bruce—my arm!” as Bruce groggily realizes who it is. He lets go at once as Alfred moves to the end of the bed and holds his arm while stammering an apology, “S-sorry, s-sir... Sorry if I startled you.” Bruce looks at him with aghast as he cries out, “My god, Alfred—I almost broke your arm!” Alfred reasons, “You must have been having a nightmare, sir.” as Bruce sits up and puts his face in his hands. He weepily dismisses, “A nightmare—what kind of an excuse is that? Old friend... forgive me...” Alfred reassures, “Nothing to forgive, sir. Just bad nerves, sir.” END ID]

#THIS ONE !!!! #bruce and his neverending guilt complex #just immediately regretful and so apologetic as alfred is quick to reassure and dismiss it #holding his arm because of fucking course it still hurts but when bruce lifts his head he stops .... #always thinking of how he was a caretaker for bruce since he was a small child/infant and how many little things bruce does now will remind #alfred of those days #he likes his grilled cheese q certain way. he cries if he thinks he hurt someone. he blames himself for a lot. he gets bad nightmares #like so much has stayed the same as so much continues to change but the love and care thry have for each other is always there #(<- guy who is always number one in bruce is disabled and needs a caretaker but also in how the people around him know bruce loves and cares #about them. its not about not being loved its about how heavy his love is and how bruce will subconsciously use his love to harm himself #(from blaming himself to his parents murders and jason's future death to something as simple as this and how he'll beat himself up #for hurting alfred and not able to protect him as well from himself) #(like his mental illness is forever using his stupid bleeding heart against himself as a reason for why hes awful) #this is all fully sidetracked im just fucking wired today sorry lol #but while im talking and something more related to the panel itself:: #after this line bruce looks up and says ‘the batman suffering from bad nerves? lets hope not. gordon can worry about the election but i #cannot afford to. still its not just the campaign. lately so many other things are pressuring me—mostly as bruce wayne’ #and like !!!! #it wasn't about batman! it wasnt about his burdens and responsibilities!! alfred was telling HIM. BRUCE. that its okay #and bruce automatically ‘its not because batman cant behave like this’ like !!!! #batman is the priority in the sense of he thinks he needs it to protect people. even his family even alfred and every single stranger #he won't ever allow himself any grace even while sleeping because batman cannot afford those ‘slips’ #just GOD 70s/80s batman makes me insane for forever and ever amen #c: detective comics | i: 509 #crypt's panels #bruce wayne #alfred pennyworth #alfred & bruce #‘awake or asleep—it scarcely matters anymore. the nightmare never seems to end.’ #<- nightmare bruce tag <333

[obihoe]

madara rlly seems like a bit of a personal curse on ohnoki i think sgsgsgsds like he's so. well not scared maybe but intimidated? by him? or maybe he IS scared, like he still remembers meeting him even as an old man. madara didnt even do anything back then, he just showed off a bit of his power and dropped a few mean-sounding lines. but it seems as if ohnoki was traumatized by this for life sfsgdgds like he's literally shown as the embodiment of an unconquerable wall from his perspective. like in connection w what his sensei taught him and now he's like 80 or 90 and he has to fight him again, this time for real. and madara BEATS his ass AND calls him an ugly old fuck who cant fight for shit and is cringe. LOL its like fate itself was like well youre not getting rid of this fucker. he'll die but he'll come back to life just to haunt u specifically

#ohnoki #madara #posts #poor ohnoki man im so sorry #adgsgdgsfds #i rlly like this scene tho where he thinks of the thing with the wall that his sensei taught him #and its put in connection w mdr and mdr seems so all-powerful #and scary #like his sensei was like 'smtimes there are obstacles/walls in ur way and u have to overcome them #u should never give up and stay strong. and conquer that wall' but he CANT #bc mdr is so strong ... without even using his full power #hehe #i rlly like that image ESPECIALLY in connection w the way mdr. i mean he's not happy abt this confrontation #and the way that it goes. he's unhappy w everything at this point #like ... something abt maybe u can read into this too how he's uncomfortable being so strong #or like his power. its a burden on him #having to use it is burdensome #being part of a society where u constantly have to measure ur power w others is burdensome #he wishes it would not be part of his life anymore. now that the village was founded. but it still is he can never escape it #he cannot ever escape constant conflict and having to rely on his strength all the time instead of diplomacy #... i mean. it is most likely the case that the point of this (mdr's) mission here WAS actually diplomacy #but mdr feels like there's no point in talking #he has given up already on talking #(not fully i guess. since he just intimidates and doesnt attack #but he still feels like this is the only way and it will stay that was always) #*that way

[futuristichedge]

Writers are so talented. Your words are doing things to my mind, showing me ideas and connecting dots... inspiring my brain to connect MORE dots

Pure wizardry. It's scary

#rambles #text #<- burdened by thoughts #im so. ive been obsessed with dadow fics. i stg its so fun to read about #that or characters learning/coming to terms with identity and self. #learning to trust others #i live for that intrapersonal/interpersonal variance and interaction #how do they see themself? what changes that? what doesnt change? #how will they tackle an issue out of their control. or their comfort zone #DISABILITY. How do they manage disability or navigate their world. How does their worldview differ because of it #what does daily life look like for them. what are their dreams/goals/ #their aspirations. their worries. can you see their past or mindset in how they love someone. in how they act or protect or cook or care #sorry. im tired and love creativity and seeing the stories we tell and feel need to be told #this is about storytelling in general but spurred on by me being tired and finding comfort in other people sharing experiences thru writing #maybe if i wrote stories instead of mini essays in tags id have a small fic out by now... #anyway dm me or hit me with fic recs i NEED to read

[irl]

yea

#txt #i gotta bitch rq cos im pissed sorry guys #i hate tht u dont remember none of the shit u did. i hate tht u make jokes about it even. i hate tht it feels like im always the one #to wear the burden of iron wrought weights so tht u can learn how to mellow out and not do the same to my sister #‘you opened up a lot of doors for your sister’ #yea cool im glad u chilled out and didnt also kick my sister out of the house while she was 1200 miles away with nothing but the clothes on #her back. yea cool im glad u didnt threaten disowning when she got a piercing. yea im glad she didnt have to sit thru the ordeal of u when #i first came out to u. im glad she didnt have to have our dead dad used as a damn weapon against her when she told you shes a lesbian #im glad you never sat her down and berated her for being queer for three hours and then sent her to her hole only to send her a long winded #email about how awful she is to you for being queer and how no one will be able to recognize or love her #i still have that email btw #im glad you came to me to ask for help when she was suicidal depressive instead of blaming her and insulting her and making awful #assumptions and insinuations about her #im glad you asked for help for her #but why couldnt you have been a mom to me too #why did i have to teach you all the wrong ways to handle situations so that you could handle them rigjt with her #why did i have to be the one to lockpick all of the doors in order to open them for her #whyd you have to put the locks on there in the first place #why werent you ever a mom to me #why wasnt i allowed to have parents growing up #whyd you have to hurt me since the time before i could make cohesive thought #why werent you a mom for either of us until you realized how heavily you screwed up with me #why did it take you losing me completely for you to start being a mom to my sister? #why did it take you losing me completely for you to finally listen to me instead of talk about why im wrong #im glad to have a mom now #but i couldve used a mom when i was a kid #why do you have to turn it into jokes #and why am i not allowed to be upset

[nabaath-areng]

Fuck Sweden as a nation for turning the woobification of our history and culture into one of our greatest exports, pretending to be wholesome and peaceful while profiting from conflicts elsewhere. For never having the fucking spine to take any stance ever and acting high and mighty for being "neutral", all while frothing at the mouth to get a piece of that colonial cake from the cool kids table where the superpowers are seated. For recognizing Palestine's sovereignty only to then consider a withdrawal of said recognition in response to the current genocide. For allowing islamophobia to get to the point it is now and then pointing fingers at jews as a whole. For giving less of a flying fuck about swedish jews during WW2 and until now, yet patting ourselves on the back and taking credit for heroic deeds done primarily by individuals.

I wish nothing but absolute hell and misery for Ulf Kristersson, who is even more spineless about his inaction than I thought possible. Who had nothing to say about the burnings of the torah and quran, only to claim that he stands for fighting antisemitism. Who puffed up his chest and was acting so tough about the things he would do once he became prime minister, only to hold up on none of his lofty promises in true conservative fashion. Both he and his lackeys (as well as their fanclubs of raging screaming bigots) deserve nothing but hurt and hell for continuing to destroy the lives of all marginalized groups in Sweden, all while shamelessly increasing their own salaries blatantly in the open, to then have the sheer and utter gut to declare that actively supporting genocide is within our best interests.

This country's audacity is one that only became possible because we sacrificed our neighbours safety for the sake of maintaining our own, because when your most recent war was in 1809 it's apparently not possible to even try and comprehend the horrors of modern warfare. That is, besides producing the tools for it to happen elsewhere.

#the complete disdain for compassion and humanity is abhorrent #not to mention incomprehensable #im sorry im all over the place bedridden cause bad pain day which makes me even more angry #because i want to strangle everyone in riksdagen with my bare hands #and like im sorry not to be a state hater or anything (sike) but how #and i mean HOW. can one claim that we know democracy #when the people who supposedly represent the rest of us #can just go ahead and do these types of things willy nilly as they please #how can we claim to have free will when the burdens of having to earn the right to life #by working to death and being left to die if we cant adapt to the system #and being actively drained too dry to dare take risks standing up #how can that ever be freedom? #seeing everything coming out of gaza in video audio images all of it #and feeling hopeless? powerless to do anything? #how is that NOT suppression? to break people down to the point they cant find the spirit to fight? #to cast other regular people as villains so that all energy is spent falling into bigotry? #social media is hell but its also one of our greatest tools now #its like being able to zoom out and see the greater overview of the stranglehold capitalism and colonialism has on the world #im not coherent at all and my thumbs are dying now i just #but sooner or later somethings gotta give re: the way our society is built as a whole globally

[stupid-dyke]

I can tell i am now experienceing actual real sleep deprivation and not just the omnipresent idiopathic hypersomnia fake sleepiness that my stupid lying body never shuts up about. I can tell because I am fallijng asleep in class regardless if I take my medication and I feel like everything is so, incredibly stupid and horrible, and everyone giving me homework or telling me to do anything is attacking me. And I can;t hold a conversation. And people are noticing my strange manner and pointing out that I seem wrong. And yet here we are AGAIN I have AGAIN stayed up late AND not gotten any work done. And on top of that I broke my fucking glasses tonight because I left them sitting on my fucking bed. And I'm freaking my parents out by crying over the phone and also I think I actually injured my shoulder last week its been hurting for four days now. and I'm so sad and mad at myself for not sleeping and not working but I can't work because I havent slept and I cant sleep because I havent worked. And every single time I get in a bad time like this my dad worries im going to die because i was suicidal for like a week in 2019 and then he gets mad at me for worrying him and I feel so so so guilty. Im so so sad.

#and I dont want to fuckign sleep even though i really need to and I spend every fucking seconf of every fucking day being sleepy #because even when I get enough sleep im still FUCKING sleepy so what is the FUCKING point. Why not just NOT FUCKING SLEEP. #Im so fucking sick of myself and my body and my pain and my stupidity. #AND ITS SO STUPID BECAUSE HERE I AM MISSING ALL MY ASSIGNMENTS SCARING MY FAMILY WEIRDING OUT OTHER STUDENTS AND MAKING MY PROFS HATE ME #BECAUSE IM FUCKING SLEEPY. stupidest fucking sounding reason on earth to have a fucking crisis. #no one ever hears me say im sleepy and thinks oh thats really serious i really want to help you now its literally just annoying to ppl #haha wait til you have kids or get older or a full time job ha ha #cool I am fuckign terrified of the future because I know how mad everyone gets at me when im too disabled to do what im supposed to #and I know its going to get to a point where I can't and there will probably be no one left to help me. I'm almost certainly going to outli #outlive my parents and my sister and even if i ever get married ill probably also get divorced so I'll be all alone #friendships aren't safe becuase you can love someone so much for 5 years and she just tells you one day she doesn't want to be burdened #by you anymore and you never hear from her again #its a dark scary fucking world and you want me to be passionate about a field of study or something?? jesus christ can you all just fuck of #I dont want to go to grad school i dont want to work i dont want to live alone i dont want to live with my parents forever #my head hurts so much goodnight guys sorry for ranting its literally fine im literally just really sleepy sorry for being melodramatic

[slutcore-starships]

.

#im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry #im failing and im sorry im not good enough and im sorry im not trying hard enough and im sorry #everything i try fails and everything i do fails and everything i am is a failure #im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry #im so tired of ruining everything i touch and being a burden on everyone and casting everything in shadow #im sorry im so painful to look at #im sorry my bad luck rubs off on everyone i pass #im sorry i could never be the person you wanted me to be #and im sorry i kept trying #im sorry i could never listen to you and made everything worse #im sorry every step broke something #im sorry that i shot you full of glass when i shattered #im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry #im sorry i could never compare to you #im sorry i could never be you #and im sorry that hurt you

[ginkasei]

yeah hi im recovering from living like i was going to kill myself for the ages 12-22 and some days the crippling depression sets me back to that mentality even though i have a lot to live for, do you still think im hot

#alternatively/more real second part is 'do you still care about me' #other alternative: 'i know im a Lot to handle do you still like me' #personal #november is Bad Month and i know im being a burden on the people i love and support me #and im like. hi. sorry to bug you. can you mayhaps give me a bit of reassurance that im not The Worst for #existing/having needs/being more broken than usual FJJDDJJDKFG #chaos rants #anyway #cw sui ideation #cw suicide

[guentzel]

i feel really odd

#i need someone #i need to feel… wanted? needed? like im not a burden/bother? #that someone likes me #you know? #not that im like. taking up space that someone better should have #I don’t know. #24 and never found my ‘people’ and probably never will #everyone else finds it so easily but im just. damaged. i guess. #not good enough at writing not funny enough not talented enough #im really just. nothing. #nothing good about me #im sorry for taking up space #im sorry for being annoying #im sorry for everything ive ever said. #im sorry

[kidfoundonstreets]

i have so much hangouts its a little exhausting its fun dwdw just ahfh one finally screwed over another event (two times) in a clash and now i feel awful

#i hate untied ends. i hate how ppl can do favors or wait for you or do smth for you but youre on a limited like favor meter #and it can take damage every second. i lost a bit of those meters tonight even if they were relating to me. i could sense it maybe. #im a burden in general so i need to make up for it as much as possible. i need to stop being so selfish all the time. #im sorry im such a bad daughter. im sorry i screwed both of these two events over in one night and you have to reschedule them #you said it was okay and the other said they had fun but i still feel so uneasy. i hate this #i hate it #i hate myself #i just need toforget tyhsi i justneed to forgethtis i just need to rmemebr this is who i am and thisis who il lalwyas willbe #vent #i didnt mean to make it a vent sorries #i was too much and too inconsiderate with people who'll probably leave me in the end. #god #imjust #everythings my fuckign fault and i cant do anything but if i take responsibility in processing every single thing ill drown ill cut myself. #self harm #and if i do then ill finally be going off the deep end permanently.

[xuanelle]

every day someone reduces majima to the mad dog act and a crazy guy that he is only ever like in the first game an angel loses its wings

#i see ppl say hes like joker he isnt he isnt it makes me soooooo angy sorry for caring so much about this #very sad very fucked up GUY but like most of majimas apperances post 1 has sooooemuch more naunce to him #like 3 with him genuinely being depressed for most of it and so tired of the burden and then 4 #with him getting his sworn brother back and expdcting to be killed.... 5 where he worries so much about #falling out of the yakuza life and being too old for it and again very sad and then 0 #LIKE THE MAD DOG IS AN ACT... #sorry for getting mad abt a harmless post #sorry btw im fine im nornal

[poorgay]

childe is minako but not in the same way carmen is minako and not in the same way angela is minako

its like this

#sorry dont read all of these im going insane slowly #i feel insane #consequences of rewriting canon is that no one understands u #its a burden to heavy to bear #i see oomfs childe rambles and im like yes correct hes just like minako and then i realize #acc angela and childe are kinda twinning #being minako coded means a) Good Luck Charlie b) you are morally dubious c) you have control issues #d) u have issues being genuine e) you have... a Relationship with ur family f) u are compared to a non existent ideal standard of self #bonus points if fucky eyes #bonus bonus points if messiah complex #bonus bonus bonus points if u kill for fun #being minako coded also means im going to kill and eat you so 🤷‍♀️ #it's mostly out of love but also frustration #♡ p3 ♡ #♡ genshin ♡ #♡ lobcorp ♡ #♡ ruina ♡