#sorry im whining i just idk

[moonlume]

tumblr said draw something bad so I did but I'm mad I still didn't feel anything

#man i started tagging this and i cant even bring myself to do it. hashtag art hashtag illustration hashtag capitalism. #sorry to be sadposting... tumblr is the only place i can admit ive actually been really really struggling with my love for art... #i should be grateful. i should be thankful for the fact that i can do art as my job. i shouldnt be whining about it like this. #but theres a hole in my soul where my joy for creating used to be and i dont know how to fix it. i want to love to draw again. #its been like this for probably over a year now and i dont know what to do. i cant abandon everything ive been working on for 7 years. #im also unemployable. so its not like i would dare to quit moonlume...but i just want to find joy in it again... #but capitalism has dug its wretched claws into my skull so badly that everything has been feeling incredibly soulless. i hate it. #anyway. might delete this later. its unprofessional but this is the one website where i can let go of professionalism for 5min and be human. #i dont hate what i do and i really am thankful..i just i wish i wasnt so stressed about making everything look good and perfect and sellable #but at this point its subconsciously connected to my survival that every time i think about drawing i stress myself out before i even start #ugh idk. neither here nor there. cant quit but dont feel connected to my work but cant change what i do or i will alienate my audience 👍

[nuppu-nuppu]

Ignore if you don’t want to read about me being stupid once again

#pls dont read if you cant handle venting and whining #once again i am here to say that i am the loneliest person alive and i feel like i can’t grasp the basic consept of friendship and do it lol #like idk how to be friends #i feel like i will forever be sad and lonely #and i know everyone will say you can talk to me and i know that but i’ve just been by myself for so long that i don’t remember how to have #actual conversations with people i feel like i am disconnected from reality #i feel like i am an extremely unlikeable person and that’s why i was all alone in highschool and idk i am oversharing on the internet again #because it’s the only place i kind of feel safe doing it #pls take care of yourselves first before comfoting me or anything im sorry i sound very pathetic #how do i start living again #how does one live anyway #im just in my head all the time #this was supposed to be hot girl summer but it’s once again summertime sadness #im so stupid!!! #im so anxious and depressed that i dont know what to do with myself #im so sorry for oversharing i have a therapist dont worry im kind of taking care of myself #but the eternal loneliness just wont let me go #idk how to be a person anymore #i’m just sad #thinking of going to a church and pretend to be a believer so i could have a community again lol

[torsamors]

it’s just sooooo fucking annoying that im stuck with these ppl who make me feel like crap, mentally drain the hell out of me, and who dont do the work that they should and drag the whole program down. its. god

#god i cant even call my mom to complain bc im rooming with them both this next week😔😔😔😔 #idk lmao they just make me feel awul lol. sorry for whining on here already its been like 2 weeks and well.

[soldier-poet-king]

I may be the meanest pettiest person on the whole entire planet (I am) but the concept of Catholic speed dating is the absolute worst thing I can think of and the whole "date while staying true to your values" vibe like. How do YOU know what my values are? I can't stand 99% of Catholics (and Christians broadly tbh. *Mr incredible voice: I'm not affiliated with you) and i would fistfight them in a heartbeat. The type of person drawn to the "marriage discernment" event is the exact type of person I want to AVOID at all costs.

Like yeah romance sounds nice and all, and I'm very good at just sitting here vaguely wishing for things, but I can barely form long term friendships with a significant intimate foundation. Even if I WERE to be in a relationship, the other party would almost certainly be non Catholic or be a bad Catholic like me and have to get cool with a lot of stuff real quick

#franposting #im rlly just whining and being mean sorry #this came up TWICE today. once with a coworker and once with a friend #and im like????? YOUR EXPERIENCES ARE NOT UNIVERSAL we are clearly leading v different lives #and also if ur relationship isnt built on friendship before becoming romantic im largely uninterested tbh #all of this is a moot point bc me??? marriage??? HAVING CHILDREN??? #absolutely the fuck not the most horrifying thing i cant think of is being pregnant tbh #spare uterus anyone. i do not need or want this one #anyway where my angry socialist catholics at. not even just for romance i want more friends ;-; #its like. how can u be queer and religious and socialist. and its like. idk how to explain to you that these things are all interconnected #and my commitment to goodness and praxis and justice is largely BECAUSE of my religious convictions #just bc my co-religionists give us a bad name. like #mr incrediblevoice. IM NOT AFFILIATED WITH YOU #anyway yeah any tgirls want a uterus i absolutely will not be using mine /is only half joking

[crybaby-bkg]

for the past couple of months I’ve found myself to be so like anxious and depressed whenever I log on here and I couldn’t figure out why??? like when I was getting a lot of interaction and attention it stressed me out and now that I don’t get as much it fucks w my mental but then I realized. I’m simply just pmsing. and what SUCKS is that I pms for a full like two weeks so half of the month I’m like “why do I even bother on here. what’s the point. I’m talking to the void constantly. I need attention but I can’t ASK????” and it’s simply. the PMDD. the Prozac hasn’t kicked in yet, I fear.

#this is torture #and omg my co star today was like #you’re creating distance betwee yourself and others and they don’t wanna keep crossing it to talk to you #OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT #and it makes so much sense omg I get so scared of reaching out to people #cause I think that THEY think I’m annoying or don’t wanna be bothered #and sometimes I genuinely just don’t know what to say #and I feel so isolated but I’m doing it to myself 😔 #anyway what I’m saying is. I want attention ALSJDKDJFJ #idk I just feel weird every time I come on here #I think I should take a break but it’s such routine for me to log on morning and night #that I would feel empty not doing it #bc I like reading and seeing you guys but I also think im not stable enough to not see my own stuff getting interaction #I’m just whining I’m sorry agskddhd #tw: vent #—in store chit chat! 🍫

[girlvinland]

My life would be so much less annoying if I didn’t get hungry and need to eat a meal or a snack every few hours.

#by bug #I don’t mean this in an ED way or anything #there are just some days I really want to keep working on stuff but then I get hungry and tired and have to fix it and it’s like why #im busy I do not have time for this #but then I have to do it so I can stop being tired and hungry 🙄 #even more annoying when I want to gain muscle and everything and have to force it even more #speaking of that. I got this protein powder that’s nice bc it has greens in it too #but it tastes like if you went outside when it’s raining and scooped up some watery mud lol #I mean. idk what I expected #but #I want to whine about it I’m sorry

[daenystheedreamer]

oversharing era was funny tho, go gurl obliterate that twink

unfortunately it was extremely funny 😭 im back to thinking hey it would be REALLY funny to date him. also so i have access to his white suburban mother so i have someone to talk about pride and prejudice with. i just have to keep reminding myself that it's 'fucked up' and 'kinda autistic' to view your life as a series of episodes you script and make your friends have character arcs cos you feel like they need character development. he IS a twink too and bisexual but i think hes just going through a phase ngl :/ i think he just wants to get pegged

#you guys would understand if u knew this guy irl. hes an art student at uni hes a redhead #he was the homewrecker in our friends' relationship and he was like 'no idk :( i thought it would turn out ok :(' #hes lefty and thats good but in a cringe irony leftist twitter way. hes kind of a sex pest& hes british #omg and the yellow fever thing.... ok so for ages i made fun of him for mostly dating asian girls #IN JEST its mostly cos our school had a large asian population. anyway he was like 'stop its not true it makes me feel bad 😭' #and i was like ok whatever nerd. and then it turns out hes liked me forever and suspiciously #he liked/dated all these girls during this time. okay! #anyway. i love him hes a good guy i just dont. i dont rlly respect him. hes like a pet to me hes so normal #jesus. im insane. and oversharing. i must sound insane. sorry. #yinnie oversharing #yinnie whining #yinnie insane moments #mean yinnie #ask #anonymous

[radioactiveshitstorm]

got told another Delightful Bit of Hidden Trauma Context today once again, gonna have to file it away under "probably never getting closure bc it doesn't matter, it's in the past - mum, even tho i think back to that event regularly and it permanently altered how i view certain family members and my own self-worth"

so that's nice

#whiny whiny whine #just once i'd like an apology #just a single fucking shred of 'yeah i/we fucked up and made things harder for you #and i'm/we're sorry' #but no. it's always OH IT'S IN THE PAST NOW #WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO ABOUT IT?? #idk maybe ACKNOWLEDGE THAT YOU SCREWED UP #JUST ONCE JUST ONE FUCKING TIME PLEASE IM FUCKING BEGGING YOU #i'm tired man i'm just tired

[mollypaints]

honestly i don't know what to do because i keep pushing and trying to make the kinda art that changes things and is actually good and i just feel....so small.

#art #artists on tumblr #sad #sorry for whining but im just so worried that i have all the drive and my body/mental illness just cant make it happen for me #i was so enthralled and inspired on a recent museum trip but idk how to bottle that feeling #also i used a wheelchair at the museum for the first time and i got to see everything i wanted it was so exciting!!! #gosh i wish i had an accessible living place and access to a chair on some days #and also no weird ableism shame ugh i hate how i cant shake the deep-down doubts #pots

[padfootastic]

i’m sorry but if you cannot express disagreement/discontent without resorting to death threats and vicious name calling, then you don’t deserve to interact with others on the internet. anonymity has made people so violent without thinking of the consequences and i hate it so much.

#why have i been seeing a spate of suibaiting & literal violence directed towards people on my feed #idc what that person has done but doing something like that says more about than u than them #(ok idc is wrong. but i can’t focus on their alleged faults when i see someone wishing for their literal death im sorry) #that’s unhinged behaviour and u need to take a hard look inside atp #this isn’t me saying anger/hurt isn’t valid but if u don’t learn to express it without resorting to such tactics - literally wtf #so much of this is also just. disproportionate reactions that could’ve been solved by scrolling past the thing that bothered u #instead of engaging in such a bad faith/hateful manner #ugh idk i’m just pissed because i *hate* this sort of thing and it’s been cropping up often on my feeds #pen’s whining

[wildwren]

boss drained the antifreeze from the solar panels into a bucket in the bathroom at work today. 1 dead 1 injured (both me)

#i hate it here i hate it here i hate it hereeeeee (having chemical sensitivity) #like i promise i promiseeeee im not trying to be high maintenance i don't enjoy controlling other peoples behavior!!!! #i dont WAnT to feel like someone clubbed me in the head and also be nauseous for 12 hours after an exposure like this #idk i just feel like theres this conception that people are just being high maintenance and annoying if they have a chemical sensitivity #i promise it just sucks actually!!!!!! #were not having fun!!!!!!!!!! #sorry im done whining #wait one more #i told my coworker i wouldnt mine leaving early because i was heavily affected by the glycol #and she was like #what glycol??? #😭😭😭😭

[the-kipsabian]

.

#why is it that every time i come off from a voice chat with ppl who genuinely want to spend that time with me i feel like everyone hates me #like. idk. my brain is very broken #i just feel like i dont really have friends. like i know i do. but also.. do i? #its. complicated. i feel like whining. sorry #im gonna make dinner and try to get back to writing i really wanted to finish this fic tonight mmmm #i just.. feel bad. its hard to explain #and no nobody did anything its me. its all me. it has and always will be me. yay #night is an absolute mess on main

[mexashepot]

When everyone around me vent about something, it is always about other people.

My relationships with others are either ok or don't cause me suffering, I rarely ever complain about other people on an individual level. (I do complain 24/7 about people on a collective level - their rudeness, their stupidity etc. but not about my own relationships with them as I keep these in check myself)

All of my problems are, well, about things - my inability to hold a normal regime, my inability to do something in moderation - it's always all or nothing for me and that is unhealthy for me etc.

And I feel so fucking stupid when I need to vent as other people's problems are other people and their own feelings, whereas my problems are my own shortcomings. It's so fucking stupid, suffering because of things that are supposedly under my own control.

#whining #idk if this makes sense sorry im very sleep deprived and very sad and angry at myself #I just needed to get this out of my system #(im ok dw ill be fine. i just need to whine first) #personal