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#sorry it’s ​bully mammon hours
mochatsin · 7 months
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WHEN MC COMES HOME INJURED
There are a lot of issues that you can come across as a human in Devildom and sometimes, the brothers aren’t really prepared for the worst case scenarios. One day they find you at home injured from other demons, how will they respond to this?
TW: Implied Bullying, Violence, Torture, Injury
sometimes I wonder if MC is a bit desensitized to violence (but not to a level where they’re no longer bothered by it). Think about it, the brothers have war-level fights all the time in the house. Plus MC lives in a realm full of devils.
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Lucifer  
His patience has never been so tested, all he can think about right now is going straight home. He heard that there was a  commotion that happened in one of your classes, so everyone was excused to leave early.
He never heard any of the details, and he would’ve asked the teachers or anyone in your class but it was better to hear from you instead. The wellbeing of the exchange student is his responsibility after all.
Lucifer was about to knock on your door but he heard a sniffle coming from your room which made him start panicking. “MC? Pardon me, but I’m coming over.” 
He found you by the bed, clutching your arm that’s poorly bandaged. Seeing the tears in your eyes broke his heart as he ran to your side. 
You told him that things got bad during your potions class. You don’t know how it went wrong when you followed the instructions correctly, but the cauldron exploded and gave you a bad burn. The teacher even scolded you in front of the class despite being in pain, making you an example of a foolish student before dismissing everyone.
Lucifer knows you’re not one to make clumsy mistakes like this, yet he keeps quiet to himself about that. His focus for now is to treat your wounds properly. But boy, he could feel his blood boil through his veins. How dare they make a fool out of you?! 
He promised to find something human-friendly for your skin as he applied a spell to numb the pain before going back to RAD. 
On his way, he overheard two students snickering to each other. Lucifer recognized them from your class. 
“Who knew adding fire newt tongues would’ve made it that explosive?” “You should’ve seen the look on their face when the teacher got mad. I knew the teacher hated them but it was hilarious when they looked like they were gonna cry!”
Lucifer had this sinister smile on his face as he walked up to the students. “Meet me in my office. We need to have a little talk.” 
It takes him an hour before he can come back to you with a healing salve. Gently applying it to your skin, you were astonished at how it was instantly restored!
Before you can comment about your amazement, Lucifer brings you in for a tight hug. “I’m so sorry… I’ll make sure you won’t get hurt like this again. I promise.” He tries to act calm but with how his hands held you so firmly, you can feel that he really was worried.
You could say that Lucifer keeps to his word when you find the demons, even your teacher, hung up by their legs in the potions classroom. They were beaten beyond recognition, you can’t even tell if they were still alive because the brothers lured you away from the scene before you could inspect them further. 
The whole school got the message, to never mess with the Morningstar’s human. The punishments are beyond what they could imagine, it’s not worth the few moments of satisfaction from making you cry.
Those people were dragged away by Barbatos to the castle’s dungeon, never to be seen again. Diavolo had to make arrangements for a replacement, and Lucifer ensured that you have at least one brother for every class to watch over you. 
He was strict and a bit more overprotective to you than usual, so it took a lot of time for you to reassure him that you’ll be fine.
Mammon 
To lesser demons, it’s a wonder how his denial with his problematic gambling and theft still made him think that he’s amazing and great. 
The stacks of reports about Mammon in the student council room can break records. He would ask Grimm that he would refuse to pay back, steal things he considers valuable, and his money-making schemes have caused lots of problems for other students. 
Despite the punishments from Lucifer, some demons think that it’s not enough. They want to hit him where it hurts. 
Mammon has been waiting for you, spamming your D.D.D. with several messages. You both planned to spend the night watching a movie together once you get home, but you’ve been running late and he’s getting impatient. 
When he hears the main door open, he rushes with the intention of complaining about what took you so long, until he finds you limping your way inside. 
“HEY MC I– huh… MC? What’s up with you? HEY!” As soon as he realizes that there’s more injuries on you, he instantly carries you to the bathroom and treats your wounds as best as he can.
He doesn’t speak, but he can’t hide the trembling of his fingers when he applies gauze pads and disinfectants on your wounds. 
You tried to explain what happened to him to the best of your abilities. You were cornered by some demons you didn’t even know on your way back home and they picked a fight. When you described what they looked like, Mammon instantly knew who they were.
“How about you rest first in the room while I go handle something yeah? Maybe report this to Lucifer” He lied of course. As if he’s going to waste a single second not hunting down these bastards. He lets one of his brothers tend to your wounds, he has other matters to attend to.
Mammon would send those demons a message, saying that he’s ready to repay them if they meet up. He was ready to give them back 10 times the pain they gave you. Break their legs for making you limp, even. 
You wake up in your bed to find him asleep next to you, holding your body close. The small tear stains on his cheeks made you pout and… well, you don’t tell him about the red stains left on his hands.
He walks you back to your classroom only for you to find it trashed. Broken chairs and desks, holes in the black board and the walls, and the demons from yesterday looking so bruised and wounded that they could barely shrink back in fear when they saw you and Mammon together. 
Lucifer would’ve punished Mammon for wrecking school property until you explained to him what happened. Given the nature of these circumstances, he didn’t tie up his brother from the roof like usual, but made him clean up the classroom he trashed.
Even with his goofiness around you, that incident was a reminder for the school that he’s still the second most powerful brother and the wisest thing is to never touch Greed’s treasure. 
Levi
Levi noticed that you haven’t been yourself lately when you come home. You’re always too tired to watch his shows and when you do, he finds one thing odd. 
When the anime he was watching showed a scene about bullying, you would flinch or turn away. You were never like this before and now Levi is suspicious. What has been happening in RAD when he’s not there?
Lucifer called him in to catch up on his classes since he’s been slacking off due to his games. He stayed a bit behind and when he finally finished, all he could think of was finally getting his hands back to his controller but then he stopped when he saw you in one of the empty classrooms. 
You were being cornered by a large demon, probably the size of Beel, who taunted you. About how you’re nothing but a weakling without the brothers, and calling them here would just prove his point. 
He was raising his fists to land another blow so you used your arms to protect yourself, but it never came. Instead, you find Levi kneeling down next to you with a sad look on his face.
He was in his full demon form, his tail holding onto the demon’s fist and won’t let go. “MC… why didn’t you tell me? Or at least any of us?” He seemed hurt because he didn’t know you’ve been in so much pain, especially when he saw the bruises on your skin as he tugged your sleeves down. 
He wrapped his jacket around you and wiped away your tears, trying to calm you down. Though it’s hard when Levi’s tail now has a death grip on the wrist of the demon who’s now screaming in pain and begging to be let go. 
“Shut up!” He hissed, his fangs bared out when he turned to the larger demon. 
Levi snaps his fingers and the demon disappears. The demon finds himself in the depths of the deep sea, struggling to breathe and swim up. He was spared from the agonizing suffocation by the sharp teeth of Lotan who swallowed him. 
He shifts back to his regular form and waits until you’re okay to be held. He tries to be gentle with you given the amount of bruises you’ve gotten. Since he’s not good at magic, maybe one of the angels can do something about this.
He doesn’t leave your side while Simeon tends to your bruises, all while he calls Lucifer to inform him of what happened.
“You’re my player two, we’re supposed to help each other out you know? That’s how the game works. S-so rely on me more MC!” 
He didn’t want to let you watch some anime that has bullying in the story, out of fear that it might remind you of what happened. The last thing he wants is to accidentally make you upset. 
Levi started attending school more, waiting for you outside your classroom every dismissal. You’d spot him gaming on his phone and if you’d ask why won’t he go straight back to the house, he’d just stutter way beyond comprehension. 
His cute flustered look as he struggles with the slightest physical contact, no one would guess that he’s the reason for the disappearance of the biggest bully in your class. It’s all game over when you mess with the Grand Admiral after all.
Satan 
Despite being just a new exchange student in a realm with little to no knowledge, you still somehow make it through the academic year and even get better marks than half of the demon brothers who lived for centuries. 
Some demons in class find it infuriating to see a lowly human do better. ‘Maybe they’ve just cheated.’ ‘Perhaps they use spells to see the answers’ ‘the wizard knows some sorcery, maybe this one does too’ ‘how wicked.’
Those were rumors you hear when you enter a classroom before a lecture. You try to not let it bother you because they’re not true. It’s from the combined effort of your hard work and the brother’s teaching you from scratch. 
Satan has been waiting for you in the house since you told him that your lesson from today was a bit difficult to understand, so you both set up a small study session for when you get home. But it’s been about an hour ever since your last message. 
No amount of reading has calmed his nerves since you’re not one to be late for no reason. It’s been raining really hard so he thought that maybe you’re stuck in this weather, but the lack of messages is still concerning. 
When he heard the door open, he closed his book with the intent of questioning why you were late, but he saw how soaked you were from head to toe. 
He grabs your arm to help clean you up, but you hissed and yanked it away. He looked at you confusingly before he noticed the puddle of rain water was mixed with something… red. 
Without haste, he sits you down in the living room and rushes to get the first aid kit. He’s thankful for learning about first aid, but never did he think that he would have to use it on you like this. 
He focused first on calming you down, placing soft kisses on your head every time you’d whimper. It worried him a lot, but he didn’t want to ask you about your tears until he’s sure you’re okay. 
It took half an hour, and a whole lot of pain relievers until you’re okay. Satan went to grab your things left at the door, only to see a lot of your books and homework torn to bits. Connecting two and two together, he knew what happened. 
When you slept, there was only one thing racing in his thoughts. To hunt. He’s heard of the rumors about you, and he’s had enough of staying passive about it. 
He practically interrogates every student he comes across until he gets his answers. When he finally has a name, he would turn each stone in the realm until he finds them. 
The moment he does, the demons are facing the most agonizing cat and mouse chase of their lives. Satan would follow suit behind their tails, and each time they ran across him they would shed more blood and tears. 
He would’ve killed them on the spot with one snap of a finger, but that’s too easy. He wanted them to feel the fear, let it consume their soul until they go insane and give up. Only then did he grant them the release from this torture by burning them in green fire that not even the storm can put out, until there’s only ash. 
He comes home, covered in blood and ash. He smiles as he places a kiss on your head when he finds you still asleep. After that, Satan offered to help you get some spare books and do something about your ruined homework. 
He became much more aggressive afterwards, no longer tolerating any ill intent directed towards you. Mutter something under your breath, he’ll make sure it’s your last. That’s how they’ll pay the price. 
Asmo
Asmo has so many admirers that are not limited to adoring fans online, but even famous celebrities that had the luck of working with him in magazine gigs and product commercials.
To him it doesn’t matter what kind of attention he gets, whether it's healthy or parasocial, he’ll bask in all of it as long as he’s the object of their affections. 
He wouldn’t normally care when his brothers would get crowded with his fans who wanted them to deliver their love letters and gifts, despite all of his brother’s complaints or protests. However, you’re the exception. 
Asmo doesn’t really hide how he feels about you. He would post your pictures with him on Devilgram or brag about you online. It did harbor some jealousy, but there are some that dealt with this worse than others. 
‘It’s unbearable to see him with such a lowly human!’ a demoness thought as she found a new post from asmo’s page with you in the background. Her nails could crack through her phone at the sheer rage and she plans to do something about these feelings.
Asmo has been calling you nonstop since you two were supposed to meet up at the house to go to a salon together, after your shift ends of course. However, you’re running late and the salon would close in half an hour. 
He was by his room when he heard your door open and closed. Asmo had the full intent to be extra whiny about your tardiness when he went to your room and opened the door. 
He was in the middle of complaining but trailed off when he saw you clenching your cheek and turned away quickly from his gaze. You were trying to make him leave, saying that you’ll change first, but he’s not buying it. “Let me see, please?” 
He moved your hands away from your face and gasped at the claw marks that ran across your cheeks. It hurts him to see that you try to hide the face he finds so adoring, so pretty. And he wants to find out who dared to ruin it.
He sits you on his lap while he applies any sort of healing skin that can restore it. He’s not going to allow a single scar caused by some low blood demon to rest on your face. He looks at you with a pout on his lips as he asks “... who was it?” 
You can’t help it, so you explain that the demoness that was also in the magazine cover with him the other week, stopped by your work and slapped you across the cheek. About how a human should not have her place next to the Avatar of Lust. 
For a quick second, he was wrath and you felt it. But he gave you a smile and held you close “you know that’s not true right darling?” and whispered sweet words to you.
Asmo spent the next few hours asking Levi and Solomon for help. The demoness instantly lost thousands of followers online, each and every scandal anonymously  exposed for the whole realm to see. He was hell bent on ruining her life with all the power he has as an influencer and a demon.
You never see the demoness again, you just know that she lost every connection and supporters she had overnight. If you ask Asmo about it, he’ll just shrug and smile “It’s just how it works honey. But don’t worry about that thing, why don’t we go to the spa like we should’ve done a few days ago? I booked a new appointment for us” 
Only Asmo, and maybe Solomon, knows the truth. So if you see a pink toad at the side of the road, pay no attention to it. 
Beel
Beel has been regarded as the star athlete when it comes to Fangol. Other than his towering height and unbelievable strength, it’s a product of all his hard work and training. He’s been doing more every time you promised to watch his games. 
He treats you like your lucky charm, and every time you’re there he would always do so well in his games. The other team doesn’t like that, they’re tired of the constant loss. Maybe if they do something about Beel’s lucky charm, he would be demotivated to play.
They’re demons after all, so cheating is not exempted in their nature. They’re willing to do what it takes to get Beel down to his knees, even if it means they’ll get their hands dirty.
There’s two days before the big game and Beel wanted to get a family-sized snack as usual from the fridge to calm his nerves. That’s when he found you rummaging through the freezer. 
Maybe you were trying to get some hellfire ice cream, so he thought. Until he saw that you pressed an ice pack against your head. “MC? Are you okay?” He walks in to check on you. 
He gasped when he saw that you looked a bit roughed up. There’s a bruise slowly forming on the corner of your lip, and some dried blood from the side of your temple. 
He knows that this was no accident when he found more bruises by your arm. Since he got a bunch of those during Fangol, he knows how to treat them. You’re no player though. After putting two and two together? He’s starting to get an idea what might’ve happened.
You did eventually open up about why you were hurt. You were going home and felt someone throw a Fangol ball to your head. You recognized that they were from the opposing team of the upcoming match and they continued to use you as target practice as you ran all the way back to the house. 
Beel was holding onto a bowl of cold water with a damp towel to treat you and as soon as you finished your story, the bowl was nothing but shards on his palm. 
His deathly aura must’ve alerted the whole house, especially Belphie who suddenly woke up from a nap as he came running towards the kitchen only to find his twin already in demon form. 
You’ve never seen him this angry that was outside food (or Belphie) and you tried to calm Beel down, but he left you in Belphie’s care while he walked out of the house. There was no way he was going to let this pass, not when you’ve already gotten hurt.
It doesn’t take Beel a long while to find the opposing team, especially when they always wear those ridiculous jersey jackets. Despite their large sizes that almost compare to him, they’re nothing but flies to Beelzebub himself. 
“Heard you had a bit of target practice earlier… I wanted to go easy on you, so if you drop out of the game and never show yourself again I'll spare you.” 
One of them scoffed and tried to throw a punch at his face. Let’s just say… never aim so close to his jaw. That player was no longer capable of holding a Fangol ball anymore, and the whole team got the message. 
You received a notification online that the upcoming Fangol game has been canceled, as the team captain is suddenly incapable of playing anymore. 
Beel comes home with a smile on his face while he has takeout of your favorite food. Mammon would comment about how it’s a miracle that he didn’t eat it on the way home, and all Beel said “It’s okay, I already grabbed a bite somewhere else.”
Belphie 
If demons would cower under the sights of Lucifer, the exact opposite can be said about the youngest. Not everyone can find the demon who does nothing but sleep to be intimidating, despite his status and power. 
Belphie doesn’t really care about trivial things about that. As if the demon who was willing to go against the royal prince himself was actually going to get bothered by mere rumors, even though it was all true.
He wouldn’t mind being called ‘a heavy weight’ when it comes to doing work, since he’d rather exert the least amount of effort if that’s what it takes for him to sleep faster. Sometimes he would forget important meetings because of his 8-hour naps. 
Today was one of those days where Belphie overslept while you were waiting for him in the library to do work together. He woke up and realized that he was almost an hour late so he was rushing towards the door but surprisingly bumped into you. 
“MC! I’m really sorry I didn’t mean to make you wait so long…” He was a bit panicked because you looked upset, though you told him that you’re fine and tried to walk back to your room. 
He grabs your arm and you wince, pulling it away from him. He looks at you confusingly, before he notices a slight cut on your cheek and how your clothes look a bit dirtier than usual. So he gets worried and asks what happened to you. 
You explained that while waiting in the library, you overheard some demons talking so badly about Belphie and calling him names. You confronted them, trying to defend his name, and the demons gave you a certain lesson for trying to sermon them. 
Belphie whines and pulls you in for a hug, trying to provide any sort of comfort he can give. “You didn’t have to do that for me MC… but thank you. Go get some rest, you deserve it more than I do.” 
His touch with you is so gentle when he makes little circles on your back as he hugs you. He lets you rest on his chest, feeling calm and safe in his arms. But Belphie was far from that. 
He could feel himself close to popping a vein, the only thing stopping him from shifting into his demon form was because he was holding you. When he puts you down on your bed as you sleep, he stares at you for a while before whispering “... I’ll repay you for your kindness, MC” 
The demons were laughing as they left the library, talking about the human they just picked on earlier. Too busy in their own merry to notice the pair of eyes that’s been following them.
Such carelessness would be their demise when they ended up getting thrown down the alley by the very demon they’ve been speaking ill of. Belphie stares down at them with no mercy in his eyes, despite the blood and screams. Unlike his twin, he was not as merciful. 
“I can tolerate the nasty things about me… but if you hurt my MC, then you deserve eternal sleep.” 
He comes home and immediately after dealing with the trash and starts walking back to your room. He’s glad to see that one of the brothers must’ve healed your wounds since your skin has been restored. 
‘... if they really see the best in me, maybe I should put in more effort.’ he thought to himself, hugging you close as he drifts off to sleep. You wake up only to find that, surprisingly, Belphie has done all the work for the both of you.
871 notes · View notes
l3viat8an · 10 months
Note
HEY RO!!!!! 🌹
I don't remember which game or lesson it came from but I remember a scene where MC and Beel were looking through the fridge for a snack and there was a pudding(?) With Mammon's name on it and Beel said "Oh, this one has Mammon's name on it. That means it's up for grabs!" (Or something along those lines, I can't remember exactly) And It got me thinking...
Mammon putting a collar on MC with his name on it to "claim them as his own" but the other brothers just completely disregard it. In all honesty it only makes them more attracted to you. And they always make you leave it on while they fuck you! Mc is just passed around the brothers "Mom said it's my turn on the Xbox" style. The brothers also "use" you to get back at Mammon for various things he's done to them.
Lucifer: (this bitch is just on a power trip honestly)
He calls you in the middle of movie night with Mammon and tells you to come to his office right away. After you've been gone for some time Mammon comes after you to find you. He busts into Lucifer's office to see you absolutely covered in Luci's cum and Lucifer has you in a mating press on his desk, just ruthlessly ramming into you. He looks Mammon straight in the eye and chuckles sadistically as you cum on his cock again. And he just keeps on bullying your hole as he scoffs at Mammon
"Look at how pathetic you are~ Not even being able to protect your most valuable possession from me~"
Leviathan: (This bitch wants his money/stuff back, but for now he'll use you as retribution)
Mammon had gone out shopping and you were just chillin in his room, sitting on his bed and playing on your phone. Then Levi bursts into the room panting, fuming and yelling about his limited edition Ruri-chan figure. His gaze immediately locks on you and he grabs you. He drags you back to his room, mumbling about paying Mammon back for what he's done. He ties you up and edges you for hours until eventually, Mammon comes looking for you. Mammon is obviously enraged by the whole situation and Levi is just grinning sadistically, still torturing you, while Mammon throws a tantrum
"You took my prized possession, so it's only fair that I take yours"
Beelzebub: (Mammon ate his food)
You and Mammon are chillin on the couch, watchin some tv, but mostly talking. Beel wanders into the kitchen for a snack. Soon you hear a loud growl from the kitchen and Beel storms into the living room absolutely livid. He doesn't say a word to Mammon and justs plucks you off the couch and tosses you over his shoulder. He marches to the dining room with Mammon in tow protesting loudly. Once he gets there, he plops you down on the table and pulls up a chair. He rips off your bottoms and just goes to town eating you. He holds you in place (because Mammon is probably tryna pull you away) and just eats you for as long as he feels like even through your pleas for him to slow down.
"You ate my food, so now I'm going to eat them instead"
(Obviously everything is consensual w safewords and such in place. They do love you after all)
~🍒
Levi’s?????? Hsksheuwban-
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Lemme just add Satan cuz this idea is lovely~ 🍒~
Satan’s been roped into tutoring you and Mammon again, but Mammon skipped. Coming up with some lame excuse like he had a photo shoot or something-
And while Satan’s always happy to get some time alone with you, this means he’ll have to tutor Mammon separately……and ofc you’re still walking around with that damned collar with Mammon’s name on it!! unless you end up distracted-
And that’s how Mammon finds you a few hours later, he walked into the library already sayin’ how he’s sorry he late and how his shoot ran long, only to look over and see you bent over the table while Satan pounds you from behind.
Satan doesn’t even falter as he makes eye contact with Mammon, “You’re late.”
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blues824 · 1 year
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You think you can make a hurt/comfort where the Obey Be brothers comfort cambion MC who’s lonely and torn apart between their demon and human heritage and after mc gets bullied for being a “halfbreed” the brothers find them crying in their room and saying “I want to be a pure-blood”
I’m sorry, but I lost motivation for this a little while ago and needed to get this out as quick as I could. I made it all the way to Asmo.
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Lucifer
He has been looking for you all over. He heard from your teachers that you haven’t been present in class after lunch today, so he needed to make sure that you weren’t in any trouble or harm. He looked all over RAD and Diavolo told him that you hadn’t shown up at the castle.
He went back to the HoL and went to check your room. As he went to put his hand on the handle, he heard sniffling coming from inside. He softly asked if he could come in and his heart shattered when he heard you whimper a soft yes. When he entered, he saw you curled up on your bed with tears falling from your beautiful eyes.
He took a seat on your bed beside you and asked you what had upset you. Everything came spilling out. A few succubi were bullying you and telling you to choose between being a human and being a demon. Because you had suffered this treatment for a while, today was the straw that broke the camel’s back.
As your sobs filled the room, Lucifer felt himself getting angrier and angrier. How dare they disrespect his lover in such a despicable manner. He was plotting their demise right then and there, but remembered that you needed to be comforted before anything else. Then he heard it. Why couldn’t I be a pure-blood?
He pulled you into his lap as he whispered sweet words to you. There weren’t a lot of cambions or nephilims around, so that meant you always felt like you were on your own. You couldn’t help but lean into him as he told you how special you were not just because of your parentage but because of your mind and heart. He told you how much he loved you until you eventually fell asleep in his arms.
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Mammon
You had a date planned and you both agreed to meet up outside of RAD after school. However, he was concerned when you texted him and said that you wouldn’t be able to go. Just yesterday, you were so excited that you basically had bright stars in your eyes. There had to be something wrong.
He walked to the House of Lamentation in search of you. No one was home yet, so it was disturbingly silent… except for a sudden thud coming from your room. Mammon had never run so fast like how he was running to your room to check on you. Y/N, are you okay? He yelled through the door.
He wasn’t paying attention to what you said rather than how you said it. You sounded distressed, angry, sad. He opened the door and saw that your room looked like a hurricane swept through. Pillows and blankets were on the floor, chairs tipped over, etc. You were about to chuck your phone at the wall when Mammon grabbed it from you.
He asked you what was wrong and when you told him, he was angry. Those a-holes dare talk to his human like that?! You have to hold him back from marching out and murdering the demons. He turned to pull you into his arms when he heard you whimper. I want to be a pure blood.
He squeezed you tighter as he apologized for not being there to protect you. His heart broke when you started sobbing and burying yourself in his chest. He felt like a total failure because he was supposed to be your protector, and even though you weren’t harmed physically, you were emotionally distraught. From then on, he promises to be by your side as much as possible to prevent further attacks.
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Leviathan
You both had planned a hangout in his room, but you were running late by an hour and a half. By this point in your relationship, he knew that you would have communicated if you would be late, so he knew you were in trouble. He ran out of his room and went searching.
He checked your room and found that you weren’t in there. He knew that you were home because you texted him that you got back after being somewhere. He walked past one of the bathrooms and heard sniffling coming from inside. He pressed his ear to the door and heard it was you who was crying.
He opened the door and let himself inside, where he saw you curled up in the corner. He rushed over and plopped himself on the floor next to you. Your eyes were bloodshot and puffy, so he could tell that you had been crying for a while. He asked you what had happened and it brought a fresh wave of tears.
You, through sniffles and sobs, told him that a bunch of demons were bullying you for being half demon and half human while you were out and about. He was livid that someone had the audacity to treat his Henry like that. However, the most prevalent emotion he feels is sadness, especially at your next statement. I wish I was a pure blood.
Levi wasn’t one for physical contact, but he picked you up in his arms and walked over to the bathtub. He sat down in it and placed you on top of himself to recreate the feeling of his in his own room. He’s not great with encouraging words, so he just holds you to let you know that you're not| alone. You have him, and he will always open his arms to you.
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Satan
You had agreed to go to a bookstore that recently opened up, and the best part was that there was an adjacent room where you could hang out with some cats. Obviously he invited you because you were one of the only ones in the house that he tolerated. He even enjoyed your company. So he was a bit hurt when you ended up being late.
You didn’t look that great. He doesn’t mean your outfit or anything like that. He meant it looked like you had survived a few World Wars. Puffy eyes, eye bags, shaky hands, and a dead-but-alive look overall. You were one touch away from crumbling, and anyone could clearly see that.
A few times, he took his hand in yours and asked what was wrong but you just changed the subject. Eventually, he called it a day and started walking with you back to the House of Lamentation. You tried to apologize and continue the date but he downright refused. He was worried about you, Y/N. You weren’t okay and you wouldn’t tell him anything.
Once you got inside, he pulled you into his room and trapped you between him and his bookshelf. He asked you for a final time about what happened to you and that’s when you broke down. You started crying and hid your face in the crook of his neck. He responded by wrapping his arms around you and rubbing your back. You told him (through sobs) that a bunch of demons were constantly harassing you because of your parentage. Then you asked the rhetorical question: Why couldn’t I be a pure-blood?
As the Avatar of Wrath, he is angry. Beyond angry, even. How dare they insult the love of his life in such a manner. However, he’s brought back to the present when he sees that you both are sinking to the floor, you are leaning into him. In other circumstances, he would be honored that you could feel you could trust him enough to be vulnerable around him. However, he always imagined this moment with a smile on your face. He held you closer while pressing a kiss on the top of your head, planning the demise of those who have hurt you.
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Asmodeus
You both had shopping plans over the weekend. You wanted to go to a lot of different stores, so you split up to cover more ground. You each had a list and each other’s numbers, so it wasn’t a problem… Until when it was time for you both to meet at the food court and you had yet to arrive.
A group of demons nearby were giggling and laughing as they arrived, and he overheard some of their discussion. It had something to do with them making fun of a cambion and leaving them crying in the bathroom, and he realized that they were talking about you. He ran as fast as he could to the said bathroom and found it locked from the inside.
He pressed his ear to the door and heard sniffling coming from the inside. He used his magic to open the door and ran inside to see you sitting against the wall with your knees against your chest. He rushed over and pulled you into his arms, telling you that it would be okay and those demons would be dealt with.
He allowed you to cry it out because it’s much healthier to let it out rather than to keep it in (let’s not take that out of context). Then he heard you whimper out a sentence that completely shattered his heart: I wish I was a pure-blood.
He couldn’t believe what he had just heard come from your mouth. Didn’t you know that you are beautiful just the way you are? Has he not told you enough? Do you trust complete strangers rather than your lover? He whispers to you, telling you how much he loves you and how you shouldn’t listen to those idiots.
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0albino-roach0 · 3 years
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uhm anyways
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fickleminder · 2 years
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cum laude
Season 1 AU. Snapshots from a year in which the human exchange student actually acts like one instead of playing demon family therapist.
Sorry in advance to Belphie stans Dedicated to all the goody two shoes MCs out there 🎓
For a human who’d just been kidnapped to hell and forced to spend a year reliving academia, you’re taking your newfound circumstances awfully well.
“Excuse me?” Lucifer’s eyebrows threaten to disappear into his hairline.
“Dorm rules,” you say again. “You know, curfews, silent hours, anywhere I’m not allowed to go, etcetera. I would have asked Mammon when he brought me over yesterday, but he doesn’t exactly seem like the type to behave.”
“A keen observation. Very well, you are to be back in the house no later than 11PM everyday. We don’t have silent hours per se, but common courtesy towards your housemates is expected at all times. Do not enter our personal rooms without explicit permission, and any guests you want to invite over have to be vetted by me first. The underground tomb is off-limits, as is the attic. Finally, you are not to leave the house without an escort. Do I make myself clear?”
“Crystal.” You give a mock salute and wink. “On that note, I’d also like to know more about Mammon…”
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“Help…”
Falling asleep in a new place in a new bed always takes you a while. The desperate pleas drifting through the walls certainly aren’t doing you any favors, but they don’t sound like any of your housemates so you’re not too concerned. In a residence full of demons located in hell, surely disembodied voices in the dark are the norm?
“Someone help me…”
After tossing and turning for the umpteenth time, you finally decide to do something about your restless night and investigate. Following the trail of whispers amidst the dimly lit hallways, you find yourself at the base of the stairway leading to the expressly forbidden attic —
“Over here!”
— and promptly do a one-eighty, going back the way you came. Because hell nah, Lucifer is not someone you want to cross even on a good day. More importantly, he’s been generous enough to open his home to you during your stay, so it’s only polite that you follow his rules. Back to bed it is then.
Said demon rounds the corner not two seconds later, his bullshit detector going off, honed from centuries of dealing with his brothers’ shenanigans. Although the area is empty and silent, he maintains his vigil for an hour before resuming his patrol.
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Back in college, you always stockpiled a few TV series to tide you through the semesters. When in Devildom, do as the local otakus do, so why not start with the TSL one which Levi had been raving about on your first day?
Beel invites himself for the food even though you tell him you’re only watching a few episodes to get a feel for the series. Mammon grumbles about wasting his time on stupid fantasies but you manage to convince him to stay for the pilot. You still feel bad about tricking him into what is essentially servitude, but not returning people’s money isn’t cool either, so you resolve to at least be civil to the poor demon and try to get along with him.
The three of you end up marathoning the whole thing all night.
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“Let’s compete to see who the bigger TSL fan is!”
“Uhh, that won’t be necessary? I mean — mmph!”
“What’s in it for us if we win?”
“Shut up Mammon, I’m talking to the human! You think you can just waltz around and discuss the series like you’re an expert? As much as I wish I could watch a marathon of every TSL DVD, I don’t have the time. So, why do you get to have so much free time? It’s so not fair!”
Mammon’s hand remains firmly clamped over your mouth despite you whacking his arm repeatedly. Levi is obviously the bigger fan and you have no qualms admitting it, but Mammon seems determined to accept the wager on your behalf to squeeze whatever prize he can get out of his brother.
A part of you suspects it’s also payback for letting Levi bully you into using Goldie against him, but by the time you’re able to wrench his arm away, the deal is sealed.
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You could throw the quiz, no problem. Mammon technically can’t do anything to you. You’d be humiliated to heaven and back but it’s a small price to pay to stay alive. Piece of cake, right?
Wrong. Stupid model student pride.
“How long are we going to keep this charade up? This is getting boring,” Levi complains, eyeing the twin numbers on the scoreboard with utter disdain.
“Yep, I’d say it has. All right, it’s time to pull out the big guns! Let’s see how Levi here likes our trump card!”
Your head whips towards Mammon. What trump card, you mouth in horror. The plan had been to keep up the tie and hope Levi gives up on his pointless vendetta, but now you’re starting to regret not waving the white flag when you had the chance.
Mammon gestures for you to reach into your uniform pocket. Your fingers brush against something smooth tied to a cord — when the hell did he plant this — and you withdraw them to discover a pendant in the shape of a single wing. It looks vaguely familiar, but Levi recognizes it in a heartbeat.
“It’s the Lord of Corruption’s lost wing pendant — the platinum version!” The crazed glint in his eyes makes you swallow in trepidation, and even Mammon seems taken aback. “That’s incredibly, incredibly rare… It’s legendary!”
A nonplussed Asmo declares you the winner, and Levi’s hateful gaze immediately turns to you.
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He zeroes in on the bandaged wrist held out to him. “What?! Did you say friends? You and me…?! A-A-Are you… are you out of your mind?!”
“Look,” you sigh, “we’re going to be housemates for a year and honestly I don’t have the time or energy to keep up a grudge. It’s okay if you don’t want to be friends, but can we at least move past this?”
“That little trump card you pulled out was a real dirty trick…”
“I had no part in that. Mammon went behind my back —”
“But a promise is a promise, after all. I’ll do it. I’ll make a pact with you.”
Strike two against your conscience, and you wince. “Levi, seriously, you don’t owe me shit. If it makes you feel any better, you can just loan me a copy of the TSL soundtrack or something. I’ll even make sure Mammon doesn’t get anything out of this —”
Levi’s bravado finally runs out, and his entire demeanor crumbles inwards. “I knew it, why would you even want a pact with a worthless otaku like me…”
You sigh again.
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“I see you’re up late today. I take it you didn’t get much sleep either.” Ruby eyes narrow at you. “Did something happen last night to keep you up?”
“Yeah, a shit ton of reading.” You yawn into your second cup of coffee. “Forgotten how much I hate those.”
“Is that so? Are you telling me it was a coincidence I caught you sneaking around with a vinyl copy of the TSL soundtrack, the copy that would successfully tempt me into staying in my room all night?”
“Listen, this ain’t my first rodeo. I went to college in a foreign country. Right now, it’s like doing my Masters all over again, except I didn’t have that extra time to pick up the language before classes started,” you explain tiredly. “I wasn’t sneaking around, I was trying to find a record player. I enjoyed the soundtrack and thought it would be great background music for some late night studying. You didn’t have to confiscate it like that.”
“You do know that vinyl record is cursed, right?”
“...Oh.”
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You nearly drop the cup of custard when you see the note written on it.
“Have you no sense of basic dorm etiquette?” You hiss, shoving the dessert into Mammon’s hands and quickly backing away. “Don’t touch other people’s food! Accomplice, my foot. You want a scapegoat!”
“Whatever, just shut up and eat it! You’ll be fine!” Mammon darts in front of the door, cutting off your escape. “If you won’t do it voluntarily, then I’ll have to make you —”
“Stay!”
Your muggle ass still isn’t accustomed to using magic, but apparently the intent to keep Mammon where he is is enough to invoke the power of the pact. He struggles against your command, fighting valiantly to shove the custard into your mouth, and ends up crushing the cup in his fist altogether.
Beel’s sudden, imposing presence is something you feel rather than see.
“...My custard.” He bemoans, staring at the dripping yellow cream all over Mammon’s hand. From the way the second-born frantically tries to wipe off the mess on his pants, it occurs to you that Beel may not be above chomping on the entire arm just to salvage his ruined treat.
“N-Now wait a second, Beel! Lemme explain! There’s a good reason for —”
BANG
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Getting lectured for three hours is never a pleasant experience. All the more so when you’re the innocent party.
You don’t like holding grudges, but Mammon is definitely getting the cold shoulder for a few days.
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Seven sins, seven brothers. You can’t believe it took losing your bedroom wall to realize one was missing from the roster.
“His name is Belphegor. He’s in the human world right now as an exchange student.”
“Oh nice. I hope he’s having fun up there.”
“Belphie didn’t want to go, but he was forced. So don’t mention his name in front of Lucifer.”
You suck in a breath and grimace. Awkward.
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\\ Would it be okay if Luke stays over for a few days? Beel is cool with sharing his room and we promise to keep things low-key. The others won’t even know he’s here! \\
// Fine, but do not under any circumstances leave him unsupervised. If he’s not gone by the end of the week, I’m calling Simeon. //
\\ Thank you :) \\
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“...Hey. What’s the deal? Is that all you’re gonna eat?” Mammon nudges your shoulder, frowning at your leftovers. “If ya don’t have yourself a proper breakfast, you’ll run out of gas before lunchtime.”
“I’m fine. Just not hungry.”
“Are you feelin’ sick to your stomach? Is that it?” He picks up your plate before you can protest and swaps it with his untouched one. “Here, take mine. It’s still warm, so you better eat up, you hear?”
You return to Beel’s room later with a fuller heart and slightly less food for Luke than intended.
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“Who let that dog into the house?!”
“Lucifer gave us permission!” You struggle to keep pace with Mammon as he leads you towards the underground tomb. “Beel was supposed to watch him today! What happened?”
“How should I know? He probably got distracted by food and Fido stuck his nose where he shouldn’t!”
The gravity of the situation only really sinks in when Beel finally explains what exactly is in Luke’s possession. You plant your feet in front of a fully-transformed Lucifer and turn your head back. “Luke! Put that book down NOW!”
It turns out that crossed extensor reflexes applied to angels too, who knew? Poor Luke is literally frozen in fear, his hands physically unable to release their death grip despite Beel’s frantic coaxing. From the way Lucifer is advancing towards them, you know not even Beel will be spared his fury.
“Out of the way, human! Or do you want to die here?!”
“Calm down! I’m pretty sure this is all just a big misunderstanding!” Your legs tremble as you instinctively lean away, but your arms refuse to budge. Lucifer is exuding an aura so powerful that you can practically taste it in the static-filled air. His magic seeps into your bones, dark and heavy, and the smell of ozone fills your lungs as his wings grow impossibly larger, taking up your entire field of vision.
A distant part of you registers Mammon trying to talk his brother down, and you hear him scream as Lucifer steps forward and pushes —
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Beel’s kicked puppy look pulls at your heartstrings. “I want to do something to make it up to you — to thank you for saving me. So, is there anything I can do?”
“I’ll tell you what you can not do.” You push yourself up to lean against Belphie’s headboard with a grunt. “Don’t make a pact with me.”
Something hot brands itself into your skin. You’ve experienced this sensation twice now, but it never fails to make you jump. You would have leapt right off the bed if your whole body wasn’t aching.
“What did I just say?!”
“You’re just a regular human, but you stepped in to shield a demon from harm. I’ve never even heard of anything like that before,” Beel explains, the weight of his earnest gaze preventing you from looking away. “Now that you have my pact, I can return the favor. I’ll protect you, I promise.”
This cinnamon roll… You can’t find it in yourself to be mad at him.
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“Just so we’re clear, I’m not paying for either of you guys.”
You raise your glass to Beel amidst his brothers’ complaints. “Thanks Beel. You really didn’t have to, but I’ll never say no to free food!”
“Humans get excited over the weirdest things,” Levi grumbles, fiddling with his headphones as he studies the menu.
“Listen, when you’re a college student, your favorite words are ‘canceled’ and ‘free’.”
“Free food is canceled,” Mammon mutters under his breath. “How about that, huh?”
“...”
“...”
“...”
“Shit, is Beel actually crying?!”
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“What I did to you was inexcusable. I apologize.”
“Apology accepted.” You slump against your chair in relief. “I understand how important that grimoire is to you. Your family was at risk, and we should have kept a better eye on Luke. I’m sorry too.”
Lucifer dips his head in acknowledgement. “Still, the fact remains that I put you through a very scary experience. Sometime in the near future, I’d like to treat you to a meal out somewhere to make it up to you.”
“I appreciate that, but may I propose an alternative?” At Lucifer’s nod, you continue. “Instead of a meal, I’d like a day off from classes. A mental health day, if you will. Things have been kinda overwhelming lately and I could really use some time to recover.”
“...It just so happens that Lord Diavolo has something planned for us this weekend. I believe it might be just the thing you need.”
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Note to future self: stay away from talking portraits.
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“You may have made pacts with demons —”
“Not entirely by choice, mind you.”
“— but you still lack the power to command them.”
“I don’t want to command anybody,” you admit as Solomon twirls you around the ballroom. “I feel bad enough that they’ve given me the ability. I don’t want to accidentally abuse their trust and hurt them.”
“Seeing how your natural magic doesn’t even manifest itself in you to begin with, you don’t have to worry about committing war crimes or anything. That said, would you like me to lend you my power?”
“Does nobody here pay attention to what I’m saying?”
“Think of it like self-defense.” The bold grin on Solomon’s face refuses to falter. “It’ll be good for you to experience what it’s like to control a demon and use his powers, but hopefully you won’t ever have to resort to that.”
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// We’re gonna try and get another candid shot of Lucifer asleep. You know, to get revenge for the fact that we failed the first time. //
// Are you coming? //
// Oi, get up! //
Read 1:09 AM
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“Killjoy.”
“Think of it like self-defense,” you parrot back with a smirk. “You have to train safely in a controlled environment first. Now let’s get this over with, you’re wasting precious sleep time. What’s the incantation again?”
You manage to summon Asmo from three rooms away, and he surprises both you and Solomon by showing up in his demon form, brimming with energy and practically drunk on power. The resultant dumbfounded look on the sorcerer’s face is immensely satisfying.
Asmo demanding you make a pact with him? Not so much.
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Barbatos places a solemn hand on your shoulder. “There’s nothing you could have done.”
“It’s Asmo’s pact, isn’t it,” you whimper in despair, unmoved by the royal butler’s attempt at comfort. “I didn’t ask for it. I never asked for any of them, and now everyone is going to suffer for my mistakes!”
“Give yourself more credit. Solomon is a lost cause; not even centuries under my tutelage could save him,” Barbatos explains grimly as the two of you watch the sorcerer cook like a man possessed.
“There’s two of us and only one of him,” you begin, only to remember that Solomon has a pact with Barbatos too. Fuck.
The demon’s eyes harden in determination. He rolls up his sleeves and takes your hand — oh, hello — leading you to an unused countertop. “You’re absolutely right. We can still salvage this yet. Tell me, how good are you with a knife?”
Chancing another look at Solomon’s progress (or lack thereof), you resolve to put all your home ec lessons to good use and cook the best damned homemade meal your housemates have ever tasted.
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Well, it’s past time you got added to the house chore rotation anyway.
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“Hey Beel,” you say one day, “why don’t you send Belphie a care package or something? It’ll let him know that you miss him, and I’m sure he’ll be happy, wherever he is.”
For once, thinking about his absent twin makes Beel light up. He splurges on soft blankets and compressed pillows and stuffs them all into a little box to be delivered to the human world.
Lucifer spends a good minute quietly staring at the gift in his brother’s hands, and promises to personally ensure Belphegor receives it.
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“You’re doing pretty well in the Devildom for a human.” Satan’s voice seems to boom in the silence of the library, but he doesn’t give you a chance to reply. “So what’s your deal? Why are you making pacts with us?”
“You’ll have to ask your brothers,” you sigh, closing your textbook. Something tells you Satan won’t be dropping the subject so easily. “I’m just going with the flow here.”
“Really.”
“Hey, I like being in school,” you point out. “I can take classes and learn new stuff, and the material here is actually quite interesting. I can make mistakes without potentially screwing my career, plus I don’t have to deal with capitalist bullshit where I have to work to the bone just to make a living. Of course student loans and tuition fees are no fun, but I’m practically on a scholarship here so…”
“And the threat of getting eaten anytime?”
“That’s why I have you guys! Having to be escorted around constantly isn’t that bad. We’re a little closer now so it’s like hanging out with friends, don’t you think?” You flash him an innocent grin.
“Tch, how boring. I can admire your thirst for knowledge, but you’re just too damned obedient. Anyway, that isn’t what I’m here for. I want you to make a pact with me.”
You barely refrain from slamming your head onto the table. “Why.”
“It’ll make life hard for a certain someone.” Satan’s closed eye smile is filled with pure spite. Based on observations of your housemates’ family dynamics, you have a pretty good idea whom the demon is referring to. “He seems awfully concerned about the pacts you’ve been making.”
“He told me he had no problems so long as you and your brothers consented to it,” you counter. “Either way, I don’t know what your problem with Lucifer is, but please don’t drag me into it.”
Something in the air seems to snap, and it dawns on you that the one time you choose to stand your ground on this pact nonsense may very well be your last.
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Good news: you’re alive and in one piece.
Bad news: your room is now neutral territory for two body-swapped demons.
You haven’t lost this much sleep since the voice in the attic started cussing you out in the middle of the night.
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“The way I see it, we all have a common goal here,” you say decisively. “Levi, you want me to play the heroine in your new game —”
“It’s Dogi☆Maji☆Memorium! Or just Doji Maji for short —”
“— Mammon, you want Lucifer and Satan out of my room —”
“Damn straight! It ain’t fair they get to watch you change and sleep, even first thing in the mornin’ — uh, I mean —”
“— and I want my space back. So, here’s what we’re going to do…”
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“Listen up! I’m gonna tell you I love you, and you’re gonna choose ME! Okay? It’s totally gonna happen!”
“I’m not going to make you fall for me. No… you’re going to fall for me naturally, as a matter of course.”
“You are MY princess!”
“We all know you’re going to choose me. Isn’t that right?”
Welp, perhaps you should have thought this through a little more first.
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Satan leads you outside the virtual classroom and away from prying ears. “I feel bad, and I’m sorry. Lucifer and I are the reason you got caught up in all of this weird business. And before we go back to the real world, I just wanted to apologize for that.”
“Thanks, I appreciate it,” you say, pleasantly surprised by his maturity. Maybe it won’t hurt to share some life advice with him. “What happened between you and Lucifer is none of my business, but you know, you don’t have to force yourself to like someone you don’t. Sometimes things are what they are, and what matters is how you handle it. It’s your life, so choose the way you want to live it.”
Satan stares at you as though he’s seeing you for the first time. “That’s a refreshing point of view. You’re the first person who’s ever said anything like that to me. And here you are, just a human.”
“You guys really like rubbing the human part in, don’t you.”
“Heh, I guess that’s what makes you so special.” He gives you a genuine smile, and you have to remind yourself to breathe. “...Thanks.”
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Fortunately, before you can swallow your innate hatred of public speaking and offer to give the speech on Lucifer’s behalf, he and Satan switch back one day before the ceremony.
You fully expect things to return to the way they were, but Satan seems to have given up on his anti-Lucifer campaign while Lucifer extends an olive branch by entrusting him with the speech.
Satan killed it of course, and Lucifer never looked prouder. Miracles do happen, even in the Devildom.
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“Seriously, what is up with you demons and your lack of value for personal autonomy?”
“You really like rubbing the demon part in, don’t you. Besides, it’s my pact, so I get to decide who to give it to. You taught me that, remember?”
“…Touché.”
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Sometimes there are good days when all is well, and sometimes there are not-so-good days when you just need an outlet to vent your frustrations.
“When I get out of here, you’re going to regret ever setting foot in this house!”
“It’s not my fault they dragged me into this stupid program! Do you know how much bullshit I have to deal with on a daily basis? And don’t get me started on the group projects! Luke was right, you can’t trust those lazy bastards to pull their weight!”
“You humans are such foolish, idiotic, weak creatures! I’ll destroy every last one of you!”
“Well fuck you too asshole!”
Thankfully, no one’s home to judge you for yelling up an empty stairway. Free therapy for the win.
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After several bar outings with Mammon and Asmo over the course of the year, you realize that Demonus has no effect on you, which means you can’t get drunk, let alone mildly buzzed.
Pity, you were hoping to take the edge off the hollow feeling burrowing into your chest for a while now. While it’s plausible that your immune system is finally giving in after exam season, the telltale signs point towards something medicine can’t quite remedy.
\\ Hey guys, I’m not feeling too well. Gonna pass on dinner and just head to bed. See you all in the morning :) \\
You wake up slightly past noon the next day with four extra pillows on your bed and six jackets piled above your blanketed body. A cup of tea and a plate of pancakes sit on your desk, charmed to stay warm and fill your room with calm, comforting scents.
Homesickness is a bitch, but with six demons in your corner, you think you’ll be okay.
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As with all good things, the exchange program eventually reaches an end. Before you know it, you’ve submitted your final paper and are getting ready to return to the human realm.
“By the way, do you have any feedback about your stay here?” Lord Diavolo asks with a friendly grin. “Don’t be shy, I’d love to hear it! Anything about your curriculum, the food, accommodations…”
You take a moment to reflect, feeling much more relaxed standing in the middle of the student council room than when you had first arrived in the Devildom. “Well, since time passes way slower down here, I won’t be missing much when I go back, which is super helpful. So uh, thanks for that.”
Barbatos bows towards you with a pleasant smile.
“The food took some getting used to, but I appreciate you making sure I had access to meals that were safe for me to eat. Solomon’s cooking notwithstanding. As for accommodations, sometimes it felt more like living in a frat house than a dorm, but I’m definitely gonna miss you guys.”
The last part is directed at your soon-to-be ex-housemates, several of whom are sporting suspiciously damp eyes.
“Oh, the Little D’s! Cheeky little buggers, but I wouldn’t have been able to stay on top of my laundry and other housekeeping without them.”
“Excellent, I’m very glad to hear that!” Lord Diavolo’s booming laughter echoes off the walls, but stops when he notices the uncertain look on your face. “What’s wrong?”
“There’s just one last thing, and I don’t mean to sound ungrateful but…” You turn to Lucifer. “You might want to look into the ghost in the attic.”
“G-G-Ghost?!” Mammon splutters as his older brother goes deathly pale.
You hold up your hands in surrender. “I didn’t climb up there, I promise, but there’s this voice that’s been talking to me since my first week here, calling for help. I figured it was a lost spirit or something so I just ignored it, but if you’re planning to host more students in the future, you should probably do something about it first.”
With a subtle nod from his liege, Barbatos closes the portal that would have led you home. This timeline’s about to get very interesting, and he can’t wait to see how it plays out.
1K notes · View notes
moemammon · 3 years
Note
Could I request HC of MC falling asleep on the brothers and someone asks them to do something but they don’t want to move bc of MC🥺 kinda like how it’s illegal to move if an animal is asleep on you🥺💕 thank you!
I'm soft for stuff like this tbh
The Demon Brothers react to GN!MC falling asleep on them
Lucifer
Lucifer has found that he works best when you're near him. Something about your presence calms his old soul. So it's become a habit that he has you near while he's going through paperwork, always touching you in some fashion.
Today, you were resting your head against his shoulder in the late afternoon, the warmth of his body and the sound of his pen scribbling on paper lulling you into a sense of peace and sleepiness.
He looked over after noticing the added weight against his side, and found you'd drifted off to sleep. And man.... this man realizes just how soft he is for you. Like, can you BE any cuter??? You're gonna kill him.
He feels a warmth swell up in his chest, not only from his affection for you, he the way you seem so peaceful sleeping against him like that. The fact that you feel secure with him, while others only seem to fear him, makes his heart fill to the brim.
But now he can't move, or you'll wake up. And to make matters worse, he just heard a loud ass crash in the hall right outside, and the sound of Mammon cursing under his breath. MAMMOOONNNNN-
As much as it pains him, he doesn't have the strength to get up while you look so content and secure sleeping against him like this. Besides, he can always kill punish Mammon later. He’d just text Beel to string him up from the ceiling until then.
Mammon
It's not unusual for the two of you to chill on the couch together, and he doesn't even care that you're all over him. Actually, he's probably the one that pulled you into such a position.
You're laying on his chest, and he's got his arms around you while he plays around on his phone. And that's when he notices the tiniest of snores coming from you. He looks down and sees that you've fallen asleep.
FUCK does that make him wanna scream. His heart is so full of love that he's literally trembling. You were so.. sO CUTE. IT SHOULD BE ILLEGAL. HE LOVES YOU, DAMN IT.
But then he gets a text from Lucifer, asking him to go back to RAD to fetch some documents. Why'd he have to be his errand boy all the time? Why not Satan??
Mammon is no stranger to Lucifer's wrath though, so now he has a strong need to get you off of him, yet an equally strong need to hold you close.
Especially when you mumble something that sounded vaguely like his name in your sleep. Maybe... it’d be fine to let you rest a little longer? It's not like those lousy papers were going anywhere, right?
Levi
You????? Felt comfortable enough to sleep on him?????? In the middle of a movie he put on????
There's practically steam coming out of his ears. He's short circuiting. He's going to die and it's all your fault. WHY ARE YOU SO CUTE YOURE JUST SLEEPING ON HIS ARM AND YET THE MOE IS TOO STRONG-
Seriously though, he's so red up to his ears that you'd think he might die. The only thing that keeps him from death is that you aren't awake to look at him. He was safe!
But then a notification pops up on his D.D.D, and he suddenly remembers he’s got a tournament to compete in with a couple of online friends! He promised them!!!
Maybe... he'll wake you up? No no no, he'd really die if that happened! You can't wake up yet!! But the game-! The dungeon run-!! The loot!!! What can he do?! There's no way he can ruin this 'straight-out-of-an-anime' moment!!!
Levi's never been one to miss a chance to game, so why was he so conflicted?! Now he was thinking that maybe he could just reschedule the match? Besides, when was the next time he might get to see your sleeping face so close to his own? He wonders if he could sneak in a picture or two...
Satan
Satan's entire room, albeit cluttered, has a cozy vibe. Just the way he likes, as a man who prefers to keep calm and indulge in the wonders of books. And he's invited you over to indulge with him, per usual
Though he'll admit it IS a little late, so he understands that you're sleepy. It doesn't even surprise him when you slump against his arm from your position next to him, the book on your lap sliding to the ground.
As much as it pains him to see the book fall like that, he quickly realizes he can't bend down to grab it, or you'll wake up.
And he hasn't had a chance to really look closely at your sleeping expression, so he has to get his priorities in order. He could get that boom later, anyway.
He laughs at you, and how easily you've fallen asleep. Why didn't you just tell him you were tired? He’d walk you back to your room so you could sleep. Yet you wanted to spend time with him so badly that you pushed through?
He closes his book and leans his head against yours with a soft sigh. Peaceful days like this were all he could ever ask for. He wished he had a spell to preserve this moment forever.
Asmo
Helloooo? Are you even listening anymore?? He was in the middle of telling you about the time Beel ate his entire collection of bath bombs, and you fell asleep right on his lap!
Probably because he was making you lay there while he dabbed products onto your face. "This one is a great toner. Doesn't it smell good? And this moisturizer here is sooo creamy!"
He can't help but notice how peaceful you look laying there, fast asleep. He could just eat you up! Catch him leaning in to kiss you a million times, wondering if you'll wake up.
He's gotta put that kissing on hold when he realizes he has a photo shoot to get to in an hour! He'd need every single minute to get himself ready of course, so he needed to start now. The only problem was... you. On his lap.
He can't get up or he’d be cruelly abandoning his precious MC! And there was no way he’d be that heartless. But that photo shoot was pretty important... How else would he give the devildom its dose of his gorgeous face???
Cue Satan coming in and finding Asmo doing his skin care on his bed, straining to see his reflection in the far away vanity mirror... all so he wouldn't disturb a hair on your adorable little head.
Beel
Beel had asked if you'd lay on his back for extra weight while he did his planks, but he never expected you to fall asleep there. Belphie does the same thing sometimes, so he's no stranger to having to stay still for someone else's sake.
The warmth of your form draped over his back makes him smile, and he wonders if you're cozy laying like that. Wasn't his back kind of hard?
He was fine with waiting until you woke up, since being stuck in a plank for an unknown amount of time would be a great workout, what wasn't so great was the gnawing of hunger slowly starting to creep up on him.
Beel was hungry. Starving, even. And he was stuck because you fell asleep on him. He tried muttering a soft "MC, wake up" as a means to gently wake you, but when you didn't budge, he wondered if he might die like this.
The longer he waited, the more his hunger built. It was five minutes. Ten minutes. Twenty, and then- he lost it.
You wake up to being suddenly dumped onto the cold floor, and you only catch a glimpse of the avatar of gluttony rushing off to empty the fridge of its contents.
He'll apologize when he's full, okay? He promises he loves you, but his hunger is no joke. Promises to treat you to Madam Scream's later as an apology.
Belphie
Not unexpected that you'd fall asleep while in Belphie's care. He had a knack for that sort of thing, bringing the air around him to a sleepy halt and making your eyes heavy with that smooth voice of his.
You were listening to him talk about the old days, when he and Beel would sneak away from their brothers to have their own adventures. Then the next thing you knew, you were drifting off to sleep.
Belphie immediately noticed when your head leaned against his hand; he’d been toying around with your hair and occasionally stroking your cheeks. This was one of those moments he didn't feel like bullying you, after all.
But now he kind of does. You were so innocent, and so vulnerable right now! He could tickle you awake at any moment and you wouldn't be able to stop him at all... Though he doesn't.
He instead looks up when the door opens and Beel pops into the bedroom to ask if Belphie can help him find his jacket. There's no way he’d deny his brother, sooo sorry mc. He hesitates for two seconds, but he's leaving you.
Belphie is a sleep expert, and that includes his mastery of the art of not waking people up, so somehow he's managed to carefully maneuver around you so you're still fast asleep.
Leaves you with a little kiss and tucks you into his bed. He'll come tickle you to death later 💕
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giaourtopita · 2 years
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oh no i was summoned by a religiously traumatised 17 year old and now i gotta babysit them
this took so long i'm so sorry- things were really bad for me these past few months and i couldn't write anything.
warnings; verbally abusive parents, bullying, isolation, mammon being an icon, diavolo making an appearance and being shady
< previous part
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*after levi left, mc frantically started cleaning up any messes they and levi had made while watching anime. mc's mother had just arrived to the house from work and seemed angry that they only just started cleaning up the house.*
*she started yelling at them just like their father did a few hours ago. telling them how useless they are for not doing such obvious things earlier. not wanting to listen to their mother screaming about them, they locked themselves in their room.*
*they stayed in their room for hours, until it was late enough that both their parents were finally asleep. that's when they usually had fun.*
*they watched some more of that anime they and levi had started watching, and they made sure to let him know what they thought of it after finishing it.*
*after watching one or two more episodes, mc fell asleep since it was really late at night. the next morning, though they were exhausted, mc put on their favorite outfit and went to school.*
*the school day seemed normal until the moment they noticed a familiar figure. though not as familiar as others, they were able to tell that the figure they were seeing was a demon's.*
*mc was sitting alone at a spot no one usually went to. they noticed the figure was trying to get away from something so they signaled him to come closer to where they were to hide.*
*the demon came closer and that's when it hit them, he was so familiar because their other demon friends showed them pictures of him. it was mammon, the demon in question, they remembered that demons have to pose as humans in the human world they took their jacket off to wrap it around his waist to hide his tail once he was close enough.*
mc: why are you using your demon form so out in the open? aren't demons supposed to act human while here?
mammon: yes, how do you know that though?
mc: your brothers told me!
mammon: anyways, thanks for the help. if you need help with anything maybe i could help since i'm feeling like doing something nice, ya know?
mc: hm maybe you could scare my classmates? i don't like them so it would be funny, plus everyone saw you in your demon form but no one would believe them if they said they saw a real demon.
*mc put up the cutest face they could physically make and waited for him to respond.*
mammon: consider it done then, the great mammon will scare your classmates to death then!
*mammon made a smug expression ready to go all out but mc stopped him and made him promise that he wouldn't actually hurt anyone. though disappointed, mammon made sure to put up the best performance to his ability. after a few minutes the students started gathering near the classroom, this was mammon's chance.*
*he turned back into his demon form, started speaking in the demon language and started mimicking satan's and lucifer's facial expressions when they get angry. needless to say the classmates were scared shitless, mc was trying to keep themselves from laughing. thankfully they went to hide at the bathroom before they started laughing loudly, a few moments later mammon came in.*
mammon: so, how did i do? not bad right?
*mc smiled at him, showing him that they were grateful.*
mc: i think i will skip the rest of the school day, do you want to hang out with me? i can't go home right now, my parents will notice i skipped my classes.
mammon: i get ya, i skip classes too a lot of the time. do you want to go shopping? the great mammon's treat!
mc: yeah, sure!
*after a few hours of walking around and helping mammon make more responsible choices with his money, they told him that they needed to go home. so he walked them there but before they could go inside he gave them a friendship bracelet, matching to the one he was wearing. he winked at them and pushed them towards the door while teleporting away.*
*they entered the house as quietly as possible not knowing if their parents were home. they looked at the bracelet mammon gave them, smiled at it and ran to their room.*
*after a while they got an eery feeling, like they were being watched. they got up and looked around and as it turns out their gut feeling was correct they were in fact being watched. a tall man with straight red hair and tan skin appeared in their room out of nowhere.*
*they knew this wasn't normal, the door was locked when they came home and all their windows were closed shut. this had to do with devildom.*
*the man approached them slowly not to scare them. and just as they were about to ask him who he was, he spoke.*
man: i am diavolo. i'm sure your demon friends have meantioned me.
*mc was confused, why is the prince of devildom in their room? all they did was summon demons that seemed not to have any relations with him. did they do something wrong?*
mc: is this about me summoning the brothers?
diavolo: i'm afraid that it is. the brothers have important things to do in the devildom and you summoning them distracts them. i'm afraid i must make this stop as you're disturbing the order things are done in the devildom. i wish there was another way but for now this will be it.
mc: will i ever get to see them again?
diavolo: i will make your summoning spells not work, but if you manage to make pacts with all of them, including belphegor, you will be able to summon again. given that you'll practice this type of magic safely instead of just copying what the book says, magic is unstable and being ignorant is dangerous. stay safe!
*the man started speaking in a demon language, probably using a spell on mc. what he neglected to say to them was that they would forget everything related to the devildom.*
*it had been about 5 years since the day they met diavolo, mc had just graduated from university and were excited to start their first day of work in the field they studied for.*
*that is until they started feeling dizzy and almost as if they will pass out. they felt as if the ground was pulling them towards it. not being able to stay conscious they fell to the ground.*
*they woke up in an unknown place and were surrounded by strangers.*
???: welcome to the devildom, mc.
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beels-burger-babe · 3 years
Text
With You Always
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***So I really really really love this idea, but I'm going to tweak it just a little bit so rather than only seeing them in mirrors, MC can just always see them when the brothers aren't around. This one is going to take place after they return to the human realm. I'm also going to be using he/him pronouns for the crush that'll be mentioned. I figured since all the dateables in the game identify as male, it'd be a safe bet. Thank you so so much for this creative request @gender-less-lemon (also I freaking love your profile picture. Monster Camp/Prom is hilarious)***
Summary: An average day of high school with MC...and the seven pact manifestations that haunt their vision.
TW: Bullying You were awoken not by an alarm, or your guardian, or even some random noise from outside, but rather a phantom gnawing on your arm. With a groan, you blinked open your eyes and saw just your regular old room, with one minor difference; a spectral red bear was happily teething on your elbow. You chuckled and pet the manifestation, noting the brightly glowing symbol of gluttony resting in its stomach. "Okay, Beel," you mumbled to yourself as you dragged yourself out of bed, pushing the purple translucent calf sleeping on your stomach, in the process. "I hear you." Ever since you had returned to the human realm, you had been followed around by spectral manifestations of the seven pacts that you owned. By the looks of things, no one else could see them, and they only appeared when the connected sin was active or needed, but it helped you feel less alone. You missed the brothers more than you had anticipated. It was more than a little bit of a culture shock to go from being loved and spoiled every day to being the misfit in your high school. Speaking of which, you needed to get going if you weren't going to be late. As you rushed around our room frantically grabbing the things you needed to get ready, the calf-like manifestation of sloth sat on your bed mooing in complaint. You sent a glare over to it as you finished collecting your belongings. "Trust me, I rather stay home and sleep too, buddy. But I have to go." Grabbing some fruit on your way out the door, you just managed to make it to school on time. Now it was simply a matter of surviving the day.
In all honesty, you preferred RAD to high school. In RAD, the subjects were interesting and grasped your attention without any problems at all. You had friends, even outside of the brothers. Sure there were always demons that would talk down about the kid human that clung to the demon lords, but you had the brothers to protect you. It was nice.
Now that you were back in the human world, you had none of that. In fact, you were even more of a misfit than when you were before. The teenager that vanished for a year and came back weirder than before; that was you. At first, you couldn't get people to leave you alone, but once they realized you weren't going to give them answers they backed off. You would occasionally laugh or whisper to the manifestations, which would earn you some more than weird looks, but you didn't care. These weird little ghost-like creatures were one of the only things you had connecting you to the Devildom. They meant more to you than anything else. As you entered your classroom, you had to bite back a laugh at the sight of one of your classmates looking around in confusion as, unknown to them, a golden yellow crow flapped around their head and pecked at the shiny earrings they were wearing. You took your seat in the back of the classroom and watch in amusement as the crow continued pecking at the various belongings of students, causing subtle chaos and confusion. Leave it to Mammon to make your day even when he wasn't actually there. Your teacher walked in and sat down in his chair. "Alright, class. Today we're going to continue with our history presentations. Remember these were subjects of your choice, so I do hope that you can at least pretend to be interested," he sighed and pulled out a clipboard. "Looks like the next person presenting is...MC." You winced and looked down at your notes. The topic was definitely one you were confident in, but to present it in front of your class. What if no one liked it? What if people laughed? What if- You felt a nudge on your arm. You glanced over to see a dazzling blue peacock, straightening its long neck out high as it puffed out its chest. The pride manifestation gestured forward with its head and almost seemed to smile at you. You smiled gently as you felt warmth grow from his pact mark on your inner wrist and stood up beside the peacock. It cawed and began to strut forward, leading the way to the front of the class. The mental image of Lucifer doing the same almost caused you to burst out laughing. You finally turned to the class and held your head up proudly as you began to speak. "My presentation today will be on biblical demonology and the way it has evolved throughout the eons of its existence." It was the best presentation you had ever given in your life. Riding off of the high from history class, the day seemed to fly by. Before you knew it was time for lunch. The bear was back, this time just softly moaning it continued butting your back with its head in an attempt to get you to go to the cafeteria faster. With one particularly heard shove, you were sent stumbling forward, directly into the chest of someone. "I'm so sorry! I'm a total clutz. I just tripped, I hadn't meant to-" you cut yourself off as you looked up and noticed you were looking at your crush. Your jaw snapped shut as you felt your face suddenly become uncomfortably hot. He smiled and waved off the apology. "It's alright. Just an accident right?" Your face became even hotter as you noticed a bright pink rabbit jumping up and down happily behind him. "I- Uh...Ehm...Y-Yeah! Yeah, t-totally an accident. I'm seat so I should go find my hungry. I-I mean!" He chuckled and nodded. "No worries, I get what you're trying to say. Enjoy your seat, MC," he gave you a wink, causing you to squeak as he walked off. You glared down at the rabbit running happy circles around your feet and the red bear that was sulking guiltily in a corner. "I blame you two for this." With an embarrassed huff, you entered the cafeteria and found yourself instantly wanting to walk back out. Everyone was laughing and talking with one another in their friend groups at their tables. Some gossiped eagerly over a magazine. Others sat silently with one another while they gamed or read books. There was even a table where a group of theatre kids were drumming out a soundtrack beat on the table while singing their favourite
songs. You ducked your head down and grabbed a tray of food before moving to the lonely table in the back, doing your best to ignore the giant orange snake that slithered between the tables, occasionally hissing and tripping students. You tried not to think of how you could be just like those groups of laughing friends, if only you were still at RAD. Your heart ached as you thought about the brothers. Maybe you could call them tonight. You let out a heavy sigh as you stood up and went to leave. You had almost made it to the door when a familiar face stopped you. Standing just a couple inches taller than you, surrounded by their groupies, was your tormentor, Taylor. You weren't entirely sure why they hated you so much. You just knew that they did, and that it got even worse when you came back from the Devildom. Taylor smirked with their arms crossed over their chest. "Where do you think your going? You haven't come to say hello yet." You scoffed and tried to walk past them. "Leave me alone, Taylor. I'm not in the mood for this today," before you could get very far, you were harshly onto the floor, stealing the breath from your lungs. You gasped and glared up at them. "What the fuck?!" The bully just sneered down at you. "You may not be in the mood for this, but I am. You know I heard about your weirdo presentation. Demons? Really? What are you, a satanist?" Their word choice was really ironic, for at that moment you noticed the large, white unicorn with flaming green hair and eyes appear behind them. The beast stomped its hooves and whinnied dangerously. You gulped nervously and looked up at Taylor. "Even if I was, it's not your business. I just find the topic interesting is all." You went to stand up, and therefore force the angry horse with a horn away from Taylor, but were stopped as they placed their foot on top of your chest. "I bet that's why you have all those weird tattoos, huh? What did you run away and join a cult for a year? Freak!" You could feel Satan's pact mark on the back of your neck grow hotter and hotter to the point that you were concerned the manifestation may be trying to summon him. Your eyes widen as you noticed it back up a few steps and point its horn at Taylor. You knew that the creatures normally could do small interactions with others, such as tripping or pushing, but you had never seen them attempt anything so violent. You couldn't just let it kill someone. "STOP!" The cafeteria fell quiet, but you weren't looking at them or even Taylor, you were looking at the unicorn. The manifestation neighed in frustration and jumped around, but obeyed your command. You slumped in relief. Looking back over to Taylor, you found them glaring down at you like you were nothing but a bug. They opened their mouth to degrade you even further when a teacher finally stepped forward. "What is happening here?" You walked over to the unicorn while Taylor fed the teacher a handful of lies. You leaned over to the manifestation and whispered under your breath. "Thank you for trying to protect me, but you can't hurt people. Just leave it be." The creature snorted and nuzzled your shoulder. In comparison to the hectic lunch hour, the rest of the day passed by with ease. In no time at all, you were back home in your room. You had just plopped onto your bed, when you heard a familiar ringtone. You smiled brightly and quickly grabbed your D.D.D. before immediately answering the phone. "Hello?" "Oh, you answered that quite quickly," you grinned at the surprise in Satan's tone. "I was just calling to-" "IS THAT MC?! GIMME!!!" You laughed as the sounds of Satan yelling and running from Mammon came through the other end. There was a yelp, a bang, and a victorious whoop before you could hear the device get picked up by someone. "'Hey MC! How was your day? I hope you didn't miss the great Mammon too badly. N-Not that I've missed you or anything just wanted to know how you're doin' is all." Belphie's purple calf climbed its way into your lap once more as you gently patted its head.
"I miss you too, Mammon. And today wasn't bad. I'd say it was pretty average overall." You could hear Satan growl in the background before there was a loud thud followed by a scream from Mammon. Satan took the phone back. "Just average you say? Nothing special?" You frowned and narrowed your eyebrows in confusion. "No, why?" To your right, the unicorn neighed softly and plopped down beside your bed. "Well, I could've sworn I felt our pact become triggered at some point today and...Well in all honesty I was concerned. We worry about you getting hurt without us there with you, MC." You couldn't help but smile softly as one by one each of the manifestations of your pacts made their way to your bed and laid down. "I know," you replied affectionately. "Though I'm never completely alone. So long as I have my pacts, you guys will always be with me." ***This was such an interesting concept to toy around with. I hope this wasn't too confusing and actually makes sense 😅😅 Thanks again for the amazing request @gender-less-lemon!***
Taglist @thegrimgrinningghost
@henry-and-the-seven-lords
@satans-beloved-riv
@cosmixbun
@sufzku
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annasmc · 3 years
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Hi, I hope your having a good day/night! I wanted to request obey me headcannons with an MC who is really good with kids and Luke reminds them of a younger sibling or cousin and how the brothers and previously undatables (or however many characters you want to do) and how they react to MC defending and dotting on Luke
Brothers + (now datable) Undatables React to MC Doting on Luke
Part 1 ~ Mammon, Beel, Diavolo, Barbs, Simeon and Solomon
Okay I am so sorry this took an embarrassingly long time to do. Like dude I think this is requested in like later December 2020 or early January so that’s how late we are taking. ANYWAYS here is part one 😬 (couldn’t even do them all but I’ll finish it I promise)
PLEASE THIS IS SO EMBARRASSING
Warnings: some swearing??
Mammon
He thought he was baby
Poor mams doesn’t understand why you would pay so much attention to a chihuahua >:(
He was shocked when you glared at him after his daily teasing Luke session.
You scolded him for a couple hours after that.
He always sees the both of you and can’t help but get jealous.
He gets sad sometimes and will try to cuddle up to you for attention
But Luke deserves the world so sorry Mams
Anyways Mammon is not happy obviously so he takes it upon him self to start “Operation Get MC’s Attention” which in other words is “Hide Luke From MC”
It goes well for a while
Mammon will run up to you and put an arm around you and lead you away from Luke
He will also actively PUSH Luke away from you without your knowledge.
Luke was just walking down the hall completely oblivious to the fact you were around the corner when suddenly Mammon comes and SHOVES him into an empty classroom.
Ok so Luke started crying (he’s only 10 omg Mammon)
Simeon had to take him home
Um Lucifer hung Mammon for a week
Beel
He doesn’t quite understand why you’re babying him, but he has no problem
You’re both parents now 🥺
Awwww
He gets free food from Luke
You kinda both adopt him.
It’s Beels job to protect Luke from everyone else and your job for offer emotional support.
You two work in a duo.
Ofc everyone else doesnt fully understand.
Belphie was the first (and only ) one to experience first hand the wrath of teasing Luke
Beel was on him like that. *angry Beel noises*, and you were there in an instant coddling Luke and hyping him back up.
“Don’t listen to those mean demons, oh poor Luke are you okay. Here let’s go inside” cue you and Luke leaving together, you hand on his back and looking back at the opposer with a glare.
Diavolo
Well it’s no doubt he was happy.
After all this was the point of the student exchange thing
He did find it quite nice to see you act to loving and be almost a parental figure for Luke.
Even Diavolo had to acknowledge that Luke is very much a child
He’s really proud of you actually.
I mean you don’t have to go out of your way to defend a little angel.
It’s refreshing to see such positive behaviour even if you do beat up everyone else is they dare insult Luke
He’s always hanging around and has his signature grin on his face whoever he witnesses the two of you together.
Will definitely back you guys up
Barbatos
We all know Barbs has a soft spot for Luke
He’s like Simeon and is so grateful that you are taking care of Luke
Luke seems to be much happier now that nobody is teasing him as often as before
Thank to you and your never ending threats to those brave enough to insult Luke
He once walked in on you teaching Luke how to draw and paint.
His non-existent heart swelled.
He very curious to see how you interact with Luke and how Luke acts since Barbatos was never a child
He is impressed by your caregiver skills
As a butler to a man-child (demon-child), he thinks it’s rather amusing to see you tend to someone else for a change.
I said that you and Beel were parents but really I mean you and Barbatos are the the real parents of Luke
Get ready to co-parent with Barbs ❤️
Simeon
He’s overjoyed like he’s happy 
“Thank you for taking care of Luke, he really needs it”
I mean this poor little angel is being bullied left to right,
He thinks you’re an angel, seriously he does
He’s not oblivious, he knows that Luke is hurt by the comments the demons make about him (although he can’t help but add on to the teasing sometimes)
He’s happy to see Luke make such good friends, you and Barbatos, and even Beel.
He’s also quite pleased with your ability to interact with children, not that Luke is immature but he definitely is young for an angel/immortal being,
He knows it’s been tough for Luke to go from literal HEAVEN to HELL but now that you’re here, it’s not as bad.
Solomon
Okay this shithead is definitely not going to take it easy on any of you,
He’s going to tease you left and right, why? No one knows
It’s because he’s a lil shit but let’s ignore that
Anyways, because you baby Luke so much, he imprints on you. He won’t let ANYONE insult MC
So when Solomon starts his daily rounds, he’s actually met by a furious Luke.
It’s kinda cute ngl
You are protecting Luke, in return Solomon teases you for protecting Luke, then Luke gets mad at Solomon for teasing you whole unbeknownst to you all, Solomon won’t STAND for MC and Luke slander
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nyxs-sins · 3 years
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Hi :3 if you're still doing requests, may I request all Obey Me! characters reacting to MC who has problems with self-expression (overthinks much, scared that they'll accidentally insult someone if they'll speak their mind or feel like they're a bother) but still wants to be honest with brothers + side characters so they send them songs as a way of expressing their current feelings? :') Thank you for your time :3
Nyx: The way I struggled with this one… 😅 Still, I hope it’s satisfactory. I only did the brothers ‘cause I just could not come up with anything for the dateables, at least not now…I’m sorry. 👉👈
MC has Trouble with Self-Expression
Lucifer:
Didn’t notice it until Mammon pointed it out.
Honestly he’s kinda peeved about that.
All he saw was the smiling MC that pieced his family back together.
He never noticed what was beneath the facade.
Once he was made aware of it though, he did everything he could to help them.
He tried various activities that might help them express themselves better.
Art, writing, sports.
But he kept coming up empty.
Until he overheard some of their music playing.
He peeked in on MC, who was sitting at their desk doing their homework.
And they were smiling.
But it wasn’t the smile he was sued to seeing.
This one look… genuine.
Then he had an idea.
Every night before MC would go to sleep, and every motioning after they woke up, he’d ask them if they were listening to any music.
If so, what was the song?
If not, what song would they suggest he listen to?
He’d use that as a guide to how they were feeling and act accordingly.
Mammon:
He was the first one to notice.
How couldn’t he? He spends every millisecond with you.
And he knows a fake smile when he sees one.
He’s always smiling himself, he knows what it feels like, what the signs are.
So he sits you down to talk about it.
No, he’s not worried, he just doesn’t want to get in trouble if the Student Exchange Program falls through.
That’s what he says anyways.
But liars know liars.
But this isn’t about him, it’s about you.
He asks you what some of your interests are so he doesn’t seem like the stalker he is to get the conversation flowing while he tries to devise a plan.
And then remembers you like music.
So he suggests you express yourself through that by sending them songs that match your current mood.
He told his brothers about it and they all seemed to think it was a good idea.
After teasing him for a few hours.
You agreed to try it for a week to see if it would work and-
-lo and behold-
-it did.
Leviathan:
Another one that had to be told.
Levi is so invested in 2D that he has lost all touch with human body language.
Even just straight up telling him won’t be enough.
He’ll just blank.
But after a minute he’d take you by the wrist and drag you to Satan.
You already said 2D wouldn’t fix it and he’s out of ideas.
Though it does stock his sin a little having to ask his brother to figure you out.
But once Satan had come up with a solution you’re back in Levi’s room, trying it out.
Sometimes Levi will send you some songs back, and it’s like you have your own secret language.
Satan:
He realized you had trouble expressing yourself once he got to know you, but he didn’t understand it.
So he researched it.
And he found that some humans find it easier to express themselves in other ways.
He never actually talked to you about it, but you figured him out by the forth failed attempt at finding something to help.
But you thought it was kinda cute, so you went with it.
And even hinted at music.
So when you and Satan discovered you could better express yourself through the use of music, he was excited.
Like Lucifer he will regularly ask you for songs, but unlike Lucifer he doesn’t have a set schedule about it.
Asmodeus:
He actually found out pretty quickly.
He wasn’t the first once to figure it out, but once he saw the signs he recognized it immediately.
So he sat you down on his silky sheets and decided to try to have a heart-to-heart with you.
Originally he wanted to see if make-up art would help, but ultimately decided against it.
His second guess was singing.
But when you didn’t feel like singing in front of him, he suggested sending songs.
A song for your mood, as he called it.
And it worked.
He’s constantly pestering you for songs and asking how you feel.
He’s glad that he managed to help out a bit, but he can be a littler overbearing at times.
Beelzebub:
He asked you why you were constantly sending him songs.
Not that he doesn’t appreciate it, he was just curious about the occasion.
Then you told him it’s how you express yourself.
“Ah.”
He’d keep eating for a minute before it registers.
“What do you mean?”
You have to explain to him that you have trouble expressing yourself outwardly, but have found that music helps you say the things you want.
He’s pretty supportive of it, but not overbearing.
He’ll ask you to send him the music whenever you need him and before you go to bed, but if you don’t he’s okay with that too.
Belphegor:
He found out when he walked in on you listening to a sad song and stressing over homework.
He just wanted a nap.
He asked you what was wrong, but when you said nothing, he didn’t believe you.
“Come on, I know something is up. Now spill it.”
It takes some bullying convincing before you finally mumble out what’s wrong, apologizing right after.
He honestly doesn’t think much of it at first, he just convinced you to take a nap with him.
But as time goes on, he starts to see you bottling your emotions up.
And every once in a while, when he passes your door, he hears you sniffling, trying to hold back tears.
Keeping everything bottled up… it isn’t healthy.
So he decides to try and help you.
At first he just visits your subconscious, digging up as much information as he can while making sure you’re sleeping well.
Then he’d move into the next step of his plan, introducing you to some music.
He watches you carefully, how you react to what music and when, the expressions you make, your tone after hearing the different songs.
He convinces you to share your music too, and it becomes a sort of stress reliever, and like a secret language between the two of you.
And it helps. It really, really helps.
But he’ll never admit he did it to help you, of course.
And you know better than to ask.
268 notes · View notes
weebswrites · 3 years
Note
Heyy! I recently came across your blog and a absolutely love your writing! 🥰
Would it be possible to request an angst hc with the Obey me brothers? So maybe the bros were having a bad day and they lash out at the MC. The MC leaves them alone and the brothers don’t hear from them for hours and think MC just doesn’t want to talk to them but in reality MC got attacked and is barely alive. And maybe MC summons the brother with what little strength they have left so the brother is met with an MC laying in front of them almost dead.
Ah I’m sorry I know this is a lot so feel free to ignore this if it’s too much! Have a good day :D
A/N: YES YES YES I LOVE THIS THANK YOU ANON
The Demon Bros Saving Your Life (this will have swear words and light descriptions of violence so if that makes you uncomfortable read at your own discretion pls I love u guys)
Lucifer
“MC, please just leave me alone” he spat, trying to stay calm but losing his patience quickly
“Lucifer, I’m not letting you shove me away. You can do that to your brothers, but not to me” you insist, remembering your conversation where he said to ignore him when he tried to push you away
“I’ll do what I want to you, human, don’t forget your place” he boomed, so loud your eyes reactively filled with tears
“Fine, do what you want” you mutter at him before storming out, slamming the door behind you
He knew he fucked up, but wasn’t in the headspace to chase after you, so he stayed in his office and worked. He’d apologize later
You ran out of the HoL, just wanting to be out of Lucifer’s reach for a bit. You decide to go to Purgatory Hall to visit Simeon, your best friend outside of the HoL, but take the scenic route there to clear your head a bit and calm down. Before you know it the sun is setting, and figure you should get to Simeon’s sooner rather than later.
“Hey, aren’t you Lucifer’s bitch” you hear from an alleyway, and suddenly you’re just as annoyed as before. But you know better than to engage with any demons that are egging you on like that, so you keep walking
Then you’re grabbed from behind and slammed against a brick wall, hitting your head roughly against the surface
“Fuck” you exhale, vision already blurring
“Think you can ignore me, human? You’re weak here, nothing” the demon drove a fist into your stomach, causing you to cough
“I’ll show you not to come back to the Devildom ever again, filthy human”
By the time he was done you were a bloody mess crumpled on the ground, in the fetal position to protect your vital organs as much as you could, but you felt yourself losing consciousness
The demon spat on you before leaving, laughing as he walked away. Your body was in so much pain, and you felt yourself losing your grip on reality
You could felt your lips moving as your vision turned to black, and your last coherent thought before blacking out was realizing you were summoning Lucifer
“I...summon the Avatar of Pride...” you inhaled as much as you could, but his name came out a whisper, “Lucifer”
You saw his legs appear before you lost consciousness, thankful you were actually able to summon him
“What the fuck” was his first comment, as he didn’t see you at his feet, but as soon as he did he felt his heart shatter
“MC! Fuck, MC. MC?” he shook you very lightly, and when you didn’t respond he went into overdrive. He picked you up gently in his arms after examining where you were most badly injured, as to not make anything worse
He was in demon form from the moment he saw you, wanting as much of his strength at his disposal as he could have. He flew you to the nearest hospital (idk if there’s a hospital in the devildom but there is now) and demanded you be placed in the best care possible, and also made it very clear that he wasn’t going to leave your side
He watched as doctors sewed your wounds closed and put an IV in your arm, unable to take his eyes off their every move. After a few hours, the doctor turned to Lucifer
“They should wake up within a few hours,” the doctor said before leaving
“Thank you. Please mail the bill to Lord Diavolo and I’ll take care of it” he said, figuring that was easier than having to fill out the HoL on paperwork
He was then alone with you, and he scooted his chair next to your bed and took your hand in his, holding it gently
“I’m so sorry, MC” he whispered and pressed his lips to the top of your hand as he tried not to cry
He sat there for what felt like hours, but just twenty minutes passed before he felt you move slightly
Your eyes fluttered open, and you took a moment to adjust to the lights
You felt warmth around your hand, and recognized it instantly, looking to your side and locking eyes with Lucifer
“Luci” you whisper, voice hoarse from not having used it for hours
“MC, I’m so sorry” his voice was soft and you could tell how distraught he was, “I never should have snapped at you, it was out of place and rude and I’m sorry” he rambled on like this for a minute, and you just appreciated his genuine care for you as you listened to him speak
“Lucifer” you cut him off, “Thank you for taking care of me. I forgive you”
Mammon
“Just get a job! Then your brothers won’t shit on you all the time” you suggested. Mammon had come to you venting about how some of his brothers had ganged up on him again and demanded that they pay him back. You were more understanding than you probably should have been with him, but wanted him to be proactive and get himself out of this on his own
“It isn’t that easy! Damnit MC, I thought you understood me!” he snapped, and you decided you should just let him cool down
“Look, Mammon. I’m always here for you with this, but you can’t keep complaining about this and not doing anything about it when there’s an easy solution. I have to go study with Satan for a test we have, so I’m going to go meet him. Text me when you’ve calmed down”
You meant it to be caring, but his mind was clouded, and he took it as you pitying him and running away - his greatest fear
“Fine!” he huffed, turning his back to you
You were saddened by this, but genuinely had to go, so you turned and left, thankful for the bit of time that you knew Mammon needed alone to clear his head
You were walking to the library, in the middle of a text to Satan when you accidentally bumped into another demon
“Shit, my bad” you apologize, but the demon had no intention of letting you get away with that
“A human, eh?” he grabbed your shirt collar and instantly drove a fist to your jaw
“What the fuck” you tried to say, but couldn’t really speak
The demon punched you a few more times, and you thought that they had the strength of Beel with how much it hurt
Your body was tossed to the ground and kicked before being abandoned, and you wished you didn’t take the back way to the library
“I summon the Avatar of Greed, Mammon” you whispered, hoping your words were enunciated enough for the summoning to work
“MC!” he noticed you instantly, crouching down and putting a hand on your arm, “MC what happened. Wait don’t talk, can you stand?”
You began to sit up, which he took as a yes, and he wrapped his arm around you to help you stand
He studied your injured face as you stood, and wished he had the power to heal you instantly
“Come on MC, the hospital is close”
“T-Text Satan I’m not coming” you handed him your phone, not wanting Satan to think that you ditched him
Mammon exhaled a laugh through his nose, “You’re always thinking of others, MC” he commented, “We really don’t deserve you”
You just shook your head, feeling like you didn’t deserve the joy the demons brought you
Mammon stayed by your side until you were completely healed, which took a few weeks. He even signed up for a job with Akuzon DC. It was the most selfless you’d ever seen him, and you thanked him for his kindness once you were healed with a gift card to his favorite store
Leviathan
“Just stop! I get it, you have other friends, I don’t care. Go have fun with them” he snapped. Levi hadn’t slept in about 48 hours and you could tell
“Levi, please sleep. I’ll be back in a few hours” you try to comfort him, but he isn’t hearing it
“Whatever, MC”
You’re hurt by his attitude, but know he’s just exhausted. You turn to leave and plan to head back to him a bit sooner to spend extra time with him (quality time love language lookin demon) (also the avatar of envy but that’s not as funny of a joke so)
You were planning to meet with some classmates to study, but you ran into a demon on your way that had been bullying you for being human for the whole semester
You hadn’t told any of the brothers because you didn’t want to make a big deal about it, but you were worried suddenly what the demon would do to you outside of the school grounds
“Hey, it’s the human” she snarled, stepping in front of you to stop your path
“Sorry, I’m busy” you tried to walk around her, but she had no intention of letting you go unscathed
“Not so fast” she stomped her foot over yours to stop you and shoved you back against a light pole nearby
You felt the cold metal slam against your spine and grunted in discomfort
“Can’t take a little pain? That’s too bad” she said, taking you by your shirt and  throwing your body on the road
She kicked your body for what felt like minutes while spitting insults at you, before leaving your weakened body on the ground
You tried to get up once she was gone but screamed in pain, not able to move a muscle
“I summon the Avatar of Envy, Leviathan,” you said, tears starting to run down your face at his name
“Levi, Levi please, help me” you whispered as he appeared
“MC, I’m here” he kneeled down beside you and inspected your body, “I’m here, don’t worry”
“Levi” your hand tightened around his jacket, “Help”
He picked you up, maintaining your position in his arms, and took you to the hospital as fast as he could while keeping you comfortable
He stayed by your side as much as he was legally allowed to while the doctors cared for your torso and x-rayed your foot. After a day or so you were allowed home, and he insisted that he stayed by your side until you were completely healed
Satan
“MC, I’ve asked you eight times to leave me alone, I’m clearly trying to read, can’t you take the hint?” he sighed exasperatedly and waited for you to leave, not intending his words to be so harsh but he figured you’d be fine
You were not fine! What the fuck Satan.
“Fine, screw you then” you retorted and left, slamming the door behind you
He realized that you weren’t fine, but wanted to finish his book. Then he’d apologize. But when we went to your room later that night to talk, you didn’t answer.
“MC, come on, open up. I’m sorry for earlier, can we just talk?”
Beelzebub was walking by, “I haven’t seen them since this morning, they left the house crying” he said awfully casually, “I never saw them come back”
Satan felt the blood drain from his face and he ran out of the HoL, ignoring Beel’s “I’m sure they’re fine now!” from behind him
He barely made it out of the doors before he was summoned, and he was confused before he realized the only way he could be summoned was by you
As soon as he was there he saw you, thrown against a dumpster, barely able to hold yourself up
“Satan” you called, voice weak, and he was at your side in less than a second
He stood in front of you and you got on his back, wrapping your arms over his neck
“Tell me what happened. Who did this” his voice was firm and you could almost feel the anger radiating off him
You muttered a name under your breath before resting your head on his shoulder, trying everything you could to not pass out
“Satan, talk to me. I can’t stay awake”
That scared him, so he walked to the hospital a bit faster, but gently still as to not cause you any extra pain
He started telling you about his book since that was all he did that day, but it ended up turning into a long apology for pushing you away and raising his voice earlier. You would have cut him off but you didn’t have the strength to, so you just listened to his words, noticing the thought he had clearly put into them throughout the day
“Satan-” you started, and he instantly stopped to listen, “I forgive you”
He was silent, a sense of relief and appreciation for you washing over him and he thanked you for your understanding of his anger as you arrived at the hospital
Similar to Lucifer, he demanded you to be seen by the best doctor there was on staff, price be damned. He watched intensely as the doctor checked you out, eyeing them up and down to make sure they were good enough and treating you with the same care he would
Once you were released he had Diavolo send a car to drive the two of you back to the HoL, where Satan had had your room prepared with new pillows (the kind you mentioned liking from his room, as well as new ones of the ones you had), freshly washed sheets and duvet, and a cup of your favorite drink waiting for you (he definitely didn’t bribe his brothers to get your room ready, not that it took much bribing)
In addition, each of the brothers had pitched in to get you flowers and a stuffed animal that you’d mentioned wanting, a few weeks ago. The sight of it all made you tear up, and you wrapped Satan in the tightest hug he’d ever gotten
Asmodeus
“I appreciate you trying to cheer me up, MC, but I just need some time by myself,” he said, and you could tell he was losing his patience
“Are you sure?” you offer one last time before leaving, wanting to make sure he really wanted to be alone
“Yes! I am!” he snapped, and you felt bad for pushing
“Sorry, Asmo. Feel better” you leave and take care to close the door as quietly as you can on your way out
You were having a bit of a bad day yourself, so you decide to go walk around the devildom and let the fresh air clear your head
Which ended up being a bad idea, as you ran into one of the demons that always hit on you in one of your classes.
“Hey, MC, you finally aren’t with any of those idiot brothers” he approached you and tried to touch your arm, but you pushed it away
“Oh, they’re fiesty. I’ll have to teach you a lesson” he spat on the ground next to you and before you knew it he pushed you against a wall and was punching you senseless
It felt like he’d never stop, but eventually it did, and he left you to bleed on the road. You tried to stand up, not thinking your injuries would be that servere, but you couldn’t move. You sighed and closed your eyes, exhaustion suddenly washing over you
You knew you probably had a concussion and some broken ribs, and that you shouldn’t lose consciousness, so you did the only thing you could think to do. You summoned Asmo.
“I summon the Avatar of Lust, Asmodeus” you spoke, and there he was
“MC! Babes, what happened? Where are you hurt” he knelt in front of you and looked over your body
“Ribs...and my head...” you whined, leaning forward for him to take you in his arm
Asmodeus was stronger than you realized, and he picked you up easily and started walking you back to the HoL. “Let’s get you laying down and I’ll call a doctor” he said gently, “Then Satan and I will take care of the idiot who did this”
Until you were healed he was by your side, bringing you anything you even thought of wanting and getting the classwork you missed from your classes
Beelzebub
“Hey Beel, what’s up!” you walked into the kitchen and greeted your favorite demon cheerily
He grunted, usually a sign that he should be left alone, but you wanted some Beel time and figured you’d just be cautious and give him his space
“How was your day” you asked innocently
“Not now, MC. I’m not in the mood” his voice was firm, and you took the message
“Got it, I’ll leave” you said apologetically, and left the kitchen. You were a bit upset by him pushing you away, but knew he just needed space. You decided to walk to get takeout for dinner, and made your way to the restaurant on your own.
That was a mistake. You weren’t even halfway there when you figured later you were just in the wrong place at the wrong time
“Is that a human? Here?” you heard from across the road, and sighed, hoping to get off easy
“Hey, human!” the demons walked over to you and you stopped, deciding to at least acknowledge them so they’d think they could insult you and move along
“Wow, I’ve never met a human in real life before” one of them smirked, “I wonder just how weak they really are”
“I wouldn’t test it, just because I’m a human doesn’t mean I don’t know some demons who would make your lives miserable if you hurt me”
The other demon scoffed, “You’re lying. What demon would befriend a human”
You were getting irritated at the attitude being thrown at you, so you decided to fight back with a little sass of your own, “Lucifer, Satan, Beelzebub, and Lord Diavolo, to name a few” you smirked and crossed your arms
“Bullshit” one of the two demons got in your face, “there’s no way a demon like that would look twice at you”, and before you could begin to think of a comeback you felt a sharp pain in your side
You looked down to see a gash in your side, thankfully seeming to not have hit an organ, but it was still bleeding pretty badly. You didn’t know what to do, but didn’t really have the chance to do much because a few strong punches were delivered to your core immediately after
“Fuck” you mumbled as you crumpled to the ground, and heard the demons laughing as they walked away. You felt yourself bleeding pretty heavily, and knew you wouldn’t be able to make it back to the HoL
“I summon the Avatar of Gluttony. Beelzebub” you said, hoping you remembered how to use your pact correctly
He appeared before you and you let out a sigh of relief, then wincing in pain at your own action
“MC!” he instantly took off his grey hoodie and pressed it to your wound, “There’s an underground hospital close, is it safe for me to lift you or can you walk”
“I think I can walk, but can you keep an arm around me” you ask, and he obviously does
You get to the hospital and are instantly checked in and brought to a care room. Beel holds your hand and lets you squeeze it as tightly as you need as your wound is sewn up, and then the nurses give you pain medication for the next few weeks
You didn’t know the names of the demons who hurt you, but Lucifer found out easily with his many connections, and he and the rest of his siblings, along with Lord Diavolo, made sure that the two demons never so much as thought about you ever again
Belphegor
“Belphie, please let me in” you knocked on his door again, not knowing what had caused him to storm off in the first place
The door opened, but before you could say anything Belphie was talking
“MC, I’m fucking pissed right now, and the last person I want to be around is you” his voice was sharp, and you almost teared up at how genuine his words seemed
“Fine, okay, I’m sorry for trying to help” you responded before turning and running down the stairs from his room in the attic, wanting to give him space but also run away from him
You were going to try not to cry, but as soon as you stepped outside the HoL you couldn’t hold back anymore. Sniffling, you walked to the park nearby to sit at a bench and think. You pulled out your D.D.D. to text Beelzebub and ask him to check up on Belphie, but didn’t even unlock it before someone sat down next to you
You didn’t recognize who it was, and you wiped under your eyes as the demon began to speak
But they didn’t say anything near what you expected. Well, you didn’t know what you were expecting, but it wasn’t to be called a filthy human by a stranger
The demon proceeded to call you names, but you were too mentally exhausted to fight back, so you just sat and listened as they tried to get a reaction from you
“What, aren’t you listening to me? Stupid human” and the demon started punching you. Hard.
You tried to fight back at first, but compared to the strength of a demon you couldn’t really do much. Once you started losing consciousness the other demon left you to sit, laughing at your wounds
You didn’t know what to do, you didn’t want to bother Belphie if he was still in a bad mood, but you needed help. You pulled out your D.D.D. and saw a text from him, reading: ‘MC, I’m sorry. Please come back, give me a chance to explain’
As you couldn’t move, you realized your only option was to summon him, so that’s exactly what you did
“I summon the Avatar of Sloth, Belphegor” you suddenly got nervous, unsure why since you and Belphie were so close, but you knew he’d help you no matter what
“MC? MC holy shit” he sat next to you on the bench and you instantly leaned into him and started sobbing
“MC I’m so sorry, this never should have happen” he had an arm around you
You sniffled, “It isn’t your fault, I was just clearing my head” you reassured him, still hurt by his previous words but not at all blaming him for the other demon’s attack
He brought you back to the HoL and gave you ice packs for the bruises that were starting to surface, making sure you had everything you needed for the next many days until you were healed
--------------------
A/N: This took me longer than I thought it would to write but I also kept taking breaks and had three classes today lol. But here it is !!! I love writing angst hehe so this was really fun
668 notes · View notes
animeomegas · 3 years
Note
#19 (Pregnancy) or #40 (Bento Box) for Mammon? (Wanted to give options in case one didn’t work for you! (^-^’)
(Hmm, I think I’m going to go with bento box, because I was really hoping someone would pick that one! Thanks!)
40 Bento Box + Mammon
Mammon is extremely weak to gifts and nice gestures from his alpha.
Gifting him anything makes him feel so warm and fuzzy.
People mock him and bully him a lot, so nice gestures like this really mean a lot to him.
So, if you were to make your cute omega Mammon a bento box?
He might just spontaneously shift into his demon form because he gets so excited and embarrassed.
“Beel!” you whined, mourning the loss of about a quarter of your ingredients. “I need those to make this bento for Mammon!”
Beel gave you a guilty look.
“Sorry… It just looks so good.”
“You can have all the leftovers, okay? But you need to wait until I’m done,” you gently reprimanded him, before reaching under the cabinet to pull out a big bag of crisps.
“You can have these to pass the time.”
Beel excitedly took the bag and disappeared upstairs content with your promise to call him back down to finish off the leftovers.
Cooking with all these unfamiliar ingredients was pretty tough, so you’d decided to go with an easy and simple design. Hearts were an easy shape to make.
An hour later, just as you were adding the final touches (heart shaped carrots), your DDD started to ring.
It was Mammon.
“Oi, human! Where are you? You said you would watch that new film with me today, but Solomon was saying that you were going to go see him, what’s the big idea!?”
“Mammon,” you laughed. “Solomon is just winding you up. I’m in the kitchen, but I’m going up to my room in a sec. Meet me there?”
There was a small beat of silence before he answered.
“I’m already in your room…” he admitted.
You held back a squeal at how cute he was. You could imagine him laying on your bed, holding your pillow to his face (something you’ve caught him doing multiple times before), and waiting impatiently for you to come and give him attention.
“Can you pick out some comfy clothes for me then, and I’ll be up in a minute. Also, I have a surprise for you~”
“Wha- A surprise?! What-“
You hung up the phone to keep the suspense, ignoring the multiple times that it rang while you made your way up to your room.
Swinging open the door, bento box shielded behind your back, you were greeted with the sight of Mammon sprawled out over your bed, just as you had pictured it. Draped over the end of the bed was a pair of your pyjamas that he must have picked out for you. They were the softest, fluffiest pyjamas you owned, and Mammon loved to nuzzle them and always stole them first when he was making a nest. You should have known he would pick them.
“What’s the deal with hanging up on me?” Mammon whined. “I’m THE Mammon, you can’t just hang up on me!”
“Aww, sorry, baby,” you cooed at him. “But I needed to sort out your surprise!”
Mammon sat up straight immediately. He was so eager for your surprise that you could almost see the imaginary tail wagging behind him.
“Ta da!” you shouted, pulling the bento box out from behind your back. “It’s a bento, I made it for you!”
Mammon tentatively reached out and took the box from you, before gently pulling off the lid.
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Mammon made a strange choking whining noise as he gazed at the bento box cradled in his hands. A red-hot blush slowly began to creep up onto his face and ears. His hands were starting to shake a little.
“Mammon, you okay? I know I used mostly human-esque food, but I wasn’t really sure how to make anything else. For next time you should teach me how to make fried scorpions, those are your favourite right?”
“Next… time?” Mammon squeaked out. “Why are there so many hearts?”
“Because I love you, of course, why else!”
This seemed to be too much for Mammon, and with one final overwhelmed whine, he shifted into his demon form. You jumped slightly as his wings knocked something off of your side table. With the utmost care, Mammon placed the bento to the side and threw himself into your arms.
“Oof,” you caught him in an embrace. “You really like it?”
“Yeah,” he murmured, pressing his face into your shoulder as best as he could without hurting you with his horns. “I love it, and… I love you, too.”
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revirushifaa · 3 years
Text
Brothers' children go to school for the first time
This has humor fluff and little angst(or I believe so in Levi's part lol)
Lucifer:
*He knows his daughter has to go to school, can't keep her homeschooled, as much as he's against the idea of separating himself from his child, but after some convinving from Diavolo about enrolling Lucille and the other children in the new RAD Kindergarten that he has built as an addition, he finally relents.
*He's still bitter about it, Lucille has spent her first five years with him. Let's not mention that Lucifer is very possessive father and the idea of sharing his daughter with another teacher that he doesn't know, doesn't work well with him.
*He crouches down in one knee to see Lucille eye to eye, when they finally arrive the kindergarten, sighing.
"Lucille, today you will be going to school. It will be only for a short time and we will see each other again during the middle day... so if you want to cry-"
"Goodbye, Papa. I'm ready to go to my class."
*The small demoness cuts off her father and gives him a quick hug before she carries her lunch box and her backpack all proudly to her class.
*There she goes. His pride and joy walking inside the door... why does he feel his eyes wet? Is he crying?! No way! No. Prideful demon regains his composture and stands up proud.
"Be a good girl. I love you."
*The other brothers have to see Lucifer all restless and jittery back at the House of Lamentation, thinking that Lucille might finally be crying for him and that needs to be there for her. No parent likes to be away from their child for so much.
*When Lucille gets back, bombards her with questions about how her day was, if other children made her cry, he'll go personally tomorrow there and will teach them a lesson. He's not lying there. So Lucille has to deal with a very helicopter dad the rest of the day.
Mammon:
*What? Why should his little son go to school so young?! He's so against it will fight whoever tries to separate him from HIS son. But Lucifer buds in and explains him that it's not a choice he should make, his son needs education outside home. So he has no other choice but to accept the fact that he has to be away from Junior.
"Junior, I didn't want this to happen. But son, you must go there for a few hours... we must separate for a bit. But don't worry, daddy will get you the biggest ice cream after school!"
"D-Daddy, I must go from you?"
*Dear gosh, when Junior's eyes start to well up with tears at being away from his father, Mammon loses it and holds his boy tightly possessively.
"No. No. NO. No, son. You and I will go to the casino and get ice cream together-"
"Mammon?"
*Of course Lucifer won't allow that, he understand the feeling of emptiness without a child, but he has to make sure Mammon doesn't actually make Junior skip school.
*Junior is taken away by the nannies of the kindergarten, as he sees his daddy for the last time(at least for the next few hours) with tears in his eyes.
"Bye-bye, Daddy...."
"JUNIOR!!!!!"
*Lucifer now has to hold a wailing Mammon who struggles to get to his little boy as he sees him being led inside the classroom. It surely will be a long day because Mammon is crying so hard and trying to get Junior back. In the end he hangs Mammon up from the ceiling to prevent him from going to the kindergarten until the calsses are done. Then he's let down and when Junior comes running to him, he picks him up and holds him back protectively, sobbing.
"O-oh, Junior, o-oh, my son!"
Leviathan:
*If you think this dad will accept by choice to let his daughter go away from him, then you're so wrong. Oh ho, in his demon form he threatens to summon Lotan forward while he holds Leviosa in arms.
"Don't think I will leave my daughter to strangers. She IS MY daughter!"
*Of course after a threat from Lucifer to throw his mangas and games, along with consoles in the fireplace to watch them burn, he quickly wises up and ighs in defeat, his little daughter has to go from him.
"I'm so sorry, 'Osa... you have to go to school."
"N-o-o-o-ooo! I don't wanna, I don't wanna, Daddy!"
*Oh sweet Rurichan, he's not prepared to see his little one cling from him and crying loudly. He sniffles and cries with Leviosa as he hugs them to his chest.
"I a-also don't wanna leave you, 'Osa!"
*The both of them throw a scene and everyone's watching at them cry and lament their departure. Lucifer has to forcefully detach Leviosa from Levi, handing her over to a nanny and apologizing for the scandal. He has to hug Levi tightly and try to reassure him that he'll see his child again in a few hours.
*When school's over, Levi practically zooms over and snatches away Leviosa from the nanny and hugs her protectively, checking her all around and threatening to summon Lotan forward to destroy this school if harm was placed upon his daughter. After the first day, Lucifer has to take Leviosa himself to school and keep Levi locked in his room because dear Diavolo, he always threathens to pull Lotan to it.
Satan:
*Sending Sandy to school when he, himself can teach her all what he knows. Stupid. Utter stupidity, he's more wrathful and dangerous.
"I'm not sending Sandy away, Lucifer. You cannot make me."
*After a confrontation between Satan and Lucifer, in the end Lucifer wins and Satan reluctantly accepts to take his daughter to school. Still thinking this idea is stupid, he doesn't want strangers to teach his child when he knows everything to pepper her little smart brain instead of another demon.
"Listen to me, Sandy, today you have to go to school and stay away from me for a little while... be good and don't let other brats bully you. You can beat them up-"
"Satan."
*Of course that wasn't a good advice to give a child. So Satan just let Sandy walk calmly to her class. She was like Lucille who didn't start crying when being led to the classroom, the two of them are really mature for their ages.
*Satan reads the whole morning, but can't help but wonder what his daughter is doing at this time and if he should go check. Absolutely goes to check on her, when Lucifer is busy with holding crying Levi tightly.
"Dad? What are you doing here?"
"I wanted to see you and how you were doing, is it enjoyable or boring?"
"I like it. I can read more here!"
*Pleased with her answer, Satan nods at her with a gentle smile and pats her head, letting her back to class. Stays for the reminder of the school day and gets Sandy with him to the library to get a new book.
Asmodeus:
*Well school is handy when he wants to go to party and can't take his son with him. So with no problem he accepts this and enrolls Cosmo in school with his brothers and their kids.
*Dresses Cosmo in the most elegant and fashionable clothes, so he can be the star of the classroom.
"You look fabulous, my son! Surely you will be the star, don't stop saying that you're the most beautiful! No other child can measure up to your own beauty."
*Cosmo's as narcissistic as his dad so he smiles brightly when he's praised and told this stuff.
"Of course, Daddy dear, I am beautiful just like you and nobody else will match to me. I am the king of beauty!"
*Asmo is really sure about it and hugs his son goodbye. At least Lucifer didn't have to intervene and make Asmo let Cosmo go inside. Asmo goes to party and finds out that this is a party where parents and kids can go but Cosmo was left behind in school, so he sulks the whole party, realizing that he misses his son quite a lot.
*First party that he isn't enjoying at all, checks his D.D.D every second and wonders how his boy is doing. When it is time to get Cosmo back he runs to the kindergarten and sees him covered in golden star stickers.
"See, Daddy dear? I told you I'm beautiful and the teacher gave me all these stickers!"
"Good job, son! I'm so proud of you!"
Beelzebub:
*Sad face. He has to be apart from his little Berith. He doesn't objects and goes with a grim look on his face, holding his boy's hand to the entrance of the school.
"My son, I have to leave you here. Go learn and make new friends."
"Are you ok, Daddy?"
*Berith isn't the one who cries at being away, Beel is crying and wiping at his eyes for he doesn't really wants to say goodbye to his boy and leave him here.
"Yes... I will be. I just don't want to go away from you...."
"Oh, Daddy, it'll be only for a bit."
*Berith hugs his father for abit, but Beel keeps hugging him for more minutes than he's expected too. Until Lucifer gently tells him that he should let Berith go and he obliges, much to his oldest brother's relief. Berith takes his huge lunch box full with lots of food with him going inside his class.
*Beel is left with sadness as he returns home and isn't even hungry, doesn't feel the same when his boy isn't with him, so he sighs. Belphie, comforts him with reassurances that he'll see Berith soon enough.
*When seeing his boy again, he's happy again and takes Berith to McDevil's to get a huge burger and many other food.
Belphegor:
*Well, is he's honest with himself, he loves his twins but he also likes to sleep all morning, so school really is useful in this case. He agrees with not much reluctance.
*It's pretty early in the morning, he's trying his best to not doze off as he walks his twins to the school entrance. He's too sleepy that his words tangle alltogether and he ends up saying something different from what he actually meant to say.
"*yawn* Alright boys... remember this: Drink your school... stay in sleep, don't do milk.... and get eight hours of drugs..."
*Beliel and Beleth grin and nod yes at their father, walking inside the classroom. Lucifer frowns deeply, that's not what Belphie meant to say, so he has to go after those little rascals as quickly as possible and explain to them that their father was just too sleepy to speak coherently.
*Belphie just sleeps throughout the time the twins are in school, not really waking or getting sad because they're away. And before he knows, his twins are napping next to him as Beel has brought them to him, knowing Belphie would still be sleeing to get them himself.
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All Demons are Entitled to Vacation Time (Because The Devildom Isn’t a Dystopia)
Part One (you are here!) Part Two Masterlist
Genuine friends in the Devildom were hard to come by, and the human exchange student had noticed that the brothers had been working her new friend to death, so she decided that the poor bastard needed some time off. The brothers agreed, but come to notice that they may have become a tad dependent on their makeshift assistant’s help.
(Just a heads up, this fic features an OC and my personal MC, so the MC will be using she/her pronouns, if you’re uncomfortable with that, no harm no foul, see you next fic. Anyway, enjoy Paimon’s mental breakdown and the boys being jerks!)
“Do you need anything else, Lord Lucifer?”
“Yes Paimon, get me a coffee.”
“The usual?”
“Yes, and do hurry up, I have work to do.”
Paimon quickly nodded and scampered out of Lucifer’s office at RAD. Sure it was after school, and sure Paimon had other things to do, and sure, he needed to sleep, but when the seven rulers of hell declare you their assistant, you be their fucking assistant.
“Oi!” Paimon felt the back of his uniform get balled up and he braced himself to be thrown into the nearest locker. “Pipsqueak, I need help with my homework.”
“H-hi Lord Mammon, s-sure, when do you want-”
“Nah nah nah,” Mammon spun Paimon around to face him. “I need, ‘help’ with my homework.”
The purple haired demon winced as he rummaged around his backpack and pulled out the assignment that Mammon had neglected to do. “R-remember to change up some words so-”
“I know how to copy homework! I’m not some dunce!” Mammon not so nicely set Paimon free from his 80s movie bully shirt grab and walked off. He whistled some made up tune and sporadically grumbled about finding his missing human.
Cheating on assignments was punishable by hanging from one’s thumbs in the glorified torture chamber known as the detention hall. Paimon had never been down there due to the fact that the place was reserved for the worst troublemakers, but he was pretty sure Mammon was familiar with it. Why didn’t he learn..?
While entranced with his thoughts of torture and mayhem, (see, Paimon could be a demon sometimes) Paimon didn’t notice the Avatar of Envy peeking around the nearest corner and nearly ran right into him.
“S-sorry Lord Leviathan!” Paimon sputtered. Levi’s head swivelled to Paimon as he began to stutter out a reply.
“G-good! You’re here! Get rid of them!”
“Get rid of who..?” Paimon looked around the corner and noticed a group of students just milling about and chatting. “Oh, right away sir.”
This wasn’t the first time Paimon had to do traffic control for Leviathan, and it wouldn’t be his last. He made up some bullshit lie about the hall needing to be cleaned and the students grumbled and slowly filed out. Once the hall was clear, Levi brushed past Paimon without even so much as a thank-you. He mumbled something about sending normies to deal with normies and disappeared down the hall.
Next up on his trip to get Lucifer a coffee, he ran into Satan, thankfully, he didn’t literally run into him.
“Ah, Paimon, give these to Barbatos, last time I saw him he was in the colosseum with Lord Diavolo.” Satan, barely even looking at the poor demon, slapped a huge stack of papers into his arms and strode down the hallway like he didn’t have a care in the world. Shit, and Paimon still had to get Lucifer coffee…
“Ah, there you are Paimon dear,” Paimon needed to muster up all his willpower to not openly roll his eyes as he met the gaze of the cheery Avatar of Lust.
“Lord Asmodeus,” Paimon said blankly. “How may I help you?”
“Take these to Majolish after you’re done… whatever you’re doing. On the double, sil vou plait!” Asmo shoved a massive stack of fabric on top of the paperwork Paimon was holding, causing him to stumble back a bit. “And if any of those touch this disgusting floor, I will personally claw each of your little freckles off your face.”
“Yes sir…” Paimon barely suppressed a growl as Asmo sashayed away from what one could barely call a conversation. As much as Paimon wanted to throw both the fabric and the paperwork into the nearest trash can, Paimon knew that both things could be recycled, and he also valued his life and his freckles.
Maybe he could run to the colosseum on the way to getting Lucifer’s coffee, torture two traitors with one tool, or however the saying goes! Paimon picked up his pace, his vision almost completely obscured by the massive pile of fabric. Despite nearly tripping twice, he made it to the kitchen, started up the coffee maker, then ran to the colosseum to drop off the paperwork.
“Mr. Barbatos?” Paimon’s call for the butler’s attention was cut off by a growl that sent shivers down his spine. Right in the centre of the colosseum the Fangol team was getting into “oh fuck” formation. That could only mean one thing and one thing only… oh no… Lord Beelzebub was hungry… really hungry… who didn’t order snacks?!
“Dammit dammit dammit…” Paimon squeaked as he shifted the paperwork and fabric and rummaged through his bag for his lunch. If Beel didn’t get some sustenance quickly he’d wreck the entire school! “L-Lord Beelzebub?! D-D-Do you want my luh-lunch? Sir?”
Beel’s head swung around to the sound of Paimon’s voice and before he could blink, the Avatar of Gluttony was towering over him. Paimon gulped and held out his lunch bag, and Beel snatched it up and ate the entire thing whole. Well… Paimon needed to replace the lunch bag anyway… and he could always eat later. His stomach growled pitifully. He had made the mistake of skipping lunch…
“Mmm… more.” Beel said, Paimon was still shaking in his designer knockoff school shoes.
“S-sorry, I don’t have anything e-else but the cafeteria has leftovers I think…” Paimon squeaked, Beel nodded and lumbered off towards the cafeteria, his hunger tantrum momentarily halted. Paimon breathed a quick sigh of relief before he heard the sound of someone stirring from a nap next to him.
“Mmph…” Belphegor shot Paimon a glare that only those who just woke up from an hour long nap could. “What took you so long?”
“M-my apologies, Lord Belphegor.” Paimon adjusted his glasses and frowned. “Pardon, but do you know where Mr. Barbatos is?”
“The kitchen, he was making something for Beel.”
Paimon had… he just left the kitchen… damn it. Paimon nodded in thanks and rushed towards the kitchen. The coffee was done, the paperwork was delivered, the fabric hadn’t touched the ground, and Paimon was on his way to give Lucifer his stupid- I mean needed beverage.
He limply pushed open the door to Lucifer’s office with his shoulder and placed the coffee on his desk. Lucifer didn’t look up from his paperwork and raised an eyebrow. “I did say quickly, didn’t I?”
Paimon bit down on his lip, a tic developed under his left eye and he clenched his fists until he felt blood trickle from his palms. “S-sorry, Lord Lucifer. I’ll do better next time, sir.”
“You’re dismissed, Paimon.”
The moment those words left Lucifer’s lips, Paimon turned on his heel and walked right out of the office. He was done, so tired and… and so angry! He just wanted to relax, he just wanted to relax. Paimon’s feet led him to the concert hall. Ah, he was supposed to be the president of the school’s band, not the student council’s resident doormat. He could just call on his undead parade and play some music… that always kept him calm.
His thoughts of relaxation were brought to an abrupt halt the moment Paimon felt the sting of recent magic in the air around the hallway that led to the concert hall. Oh no, please tell him there wasn’t a fight near the concert hall, please tell him-
Two of his band members were in their true forms and hurling insults at each other. Phenex and Eurynome were standing in the midst of a completely destroyed concert hall, the instruments were scattered around the room, dented and completely broken… the two brawling demons paused when they noticed Paimon at the door.
“Prez! You won’t believe this shit! Someone vandalized our stuff, and Phenex’s accusing me!”
“Paimon! You hafta believe me! I walked in and Eury was-”
Their voices had become unintelligible background noise, Paimon’s eyes were glued to the destroyed instruments, his instruments… he felt his shoulders shake and his chest begin to tighten. Why… why!? Why him?! Why today?! Paimon dropped the fabric and his backpack onto the ground and slowly dug his partially bloodied palms into his hair. To his absolute horror, he felt tears threaten to spill from his eyes. Don’t cry- Don’t cry! He can’t cry!
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGHGHGGHHHHH!” Paimon let out a screech like a wounded animal, he felt his true form beg to be released so he could wreak absolute havoc on everyone and everything in a mile radius, but he yanked down on his hair and brought himself back to reality.
“Paimon?” The demon in question slowly turned, the human exchange student herself awkwardly stood a few feet behind him, seeming to not be sure exactly what to do. “Are… are you okay..?”
“Y-yes…” Paimon mumbled, his fists began to shake. “Th-thank you Ms. Himiko but I’m fi-”
Paimon’s voice broke and Himiko fixed the other two demons behind him with a glare that could probably kill a man. “YOU TWO. Clean this up right now!”
Before he could react, Himiko pulled Paimon into an empty classroom and slammed the door behind her. “Pai, what happened? Do you need to sit down?”
“Nuh-ne-no! I-I-if i suh-sit down I’ll fu-fall aslee-eep…” Paimon awkwardly hiccuped. Trying to talk through the lump in his throat was proving to be very difficult.
“Paimon… do you want to tell me what’s wrong?” Himiko’s voice was oddly gentle, almost sisterly in a way as she sat Paimon down in one of the desks in the room. “I’m here to listen.”
“Thanks Ms. Himiko… sorry…” and with that, Paimon began to explain.
———————
“BOYS!”
The scream of rage was punctuated by the slamming of the front door of the House of Lamentation and the angry clicking of heels going towards the living room. Six of the seven rulers of hell sat dead straight in their chairs, geez this little human had really whipped them good.
“Stupid human! Let go of my ear-yeeeeeeOW! Sorry! Sorry! Have mercy, tiny overlord-” Mammon was dragged into the living room by the ear and shoved onto one of the couches. She let her glare rest on each and every one of the demons before she spoke again.
“So, Asmo,” Himiko turned to Asmo with a calm smile, but the Avatar of Lust was anything but calm. “You think you’re too good to deliver your own fabric to the place where you work?”
“Uh… what are you talking about Himi?”
“Paimon! You told him to deliver your fabric to Majolish!” Himiko then turned to Mammon, who was already looking for an opportune time to bolt to the exit. “Mammon! You took his homework to copy, didn’t you!?”
“I-uh-”
“Satan!” Himiko stamped her foot and swivelled to glare at the relatively calm Avatar of Wrath. “You can’t just dump your paperwork on him like that!”
“Himiko-”
“CRAM IT!” Satan’s mouth clamped shut and he levelled an absolutely murderous glare at the human, but remained seated. “Levi! What the hell’s the matter with you!? Did anyone ever teach you that it’s polite to say THANK YOU?!”
Levi awkwardly shifted in his seat and sputtered out a barely intelligible reply, but Himiko was already turning to Beel and Belphie.
“Belphie! Beel! What the fuck were you two on during Fangol practice?!” Belphie grumpily lifted his head from his pillow and Beel mumbled out an apology. “Beel! You cannot just throw your hunger tantrums whenever you don’t have food handy, I thought you had enough common sense to realize that the kitchen wasn’t that far from the colosseum! And Belphie! Why didn’t you pack snacks for Beel like you were supposed to!?”
“Himiko why the fuck are you so upset about-”
“Shut UP.” Belphie was in the same boat as Satan in a matter of nanoseconds, the Avatar of Sloth rolled his eyes and went back to resting his head on his pillow.
“And you, Lucifer, the eldest and best of the bunch.” Himiko’s words were laced with enough poison to take down a fully grown grizzly bear as she stared down Lucifer with a glare cold enough to snuff out a fire. “I have one question: would it kill you to show some appreciation to the people who help you? A thank you? An appreciative nod? Or is your head rammed so far up your own ass you’ve forgotten basic courtesy?”
In a blink of an eye Lucifer was standing in front of Himiko. He was a good foot taller than her even in his human form, but she looked right back up at him with zero fear.
“Care to repeat that, Himiko?” Lucifer’s words were as sharp as a razor, he narrowed his eyes when Himiko didn’t even flinch. “If I were you, I’d choose your next words very carefully.”
“Or what?” Himiko asked, tilting her head slightly. “You’re going to try and kill me again?”
The room went completely still. It was so silent that they could hear Cerberus rustling around in the Underground Tomb. No one said a word as Himiko casually smoothed down her skirt. “You know what they say, third times the charm. Are you going to listen to me or are you going to explain to Diavolo why I’m a bloody smear on the wall?”
Lucifer held her gaze for a few more seconds, until he sighed and sat back down, still not breaking eye contact with the human. “What do you want, Himiko?”
“I want you all to give Paimon a week off, or, you pay him to be your actual assistant. Putting up with you boys’ crap should be a full paying job.” Himiko raised an eyebrow and crossed her arms. “Give him a week off, live without him for a bit, and treat him nicer when he comes back. Unless of course, the seven rulers of hell can’t survive without their assistant?”
Lucifer bristled and crossed his arms. “…fine.”
———————
Sleep went by too quickly… way too quickly. Paimon rubbed his eyes and trudged through the hallway. Stupid mondays… stupid school… stupid Mammon… wait did Paimon say that out loud, because the Avatar of Greed and Lucifer himself were standing right in front of him.
“Sup pipsqueak.”
“Hello Paimon.”
Oh, Paimon must have fucked up bad somehow for the Avatar of Pride and the Avatar of Greed to have stopped him in the hallway. Great. Wonderful. Fantastic. The sweet release of death was coming. But what exactly had Paimon done? Was talking to the human exchange student a punishable offence?!
“Lord Lucifer! Lord Mammon! Uh… how can I help you?” Paimon smiled nervously, at this point, nervous was his default state, so this was his normal smile.
“Ya can help us by handin’ over your lunch mon-”
“Oh for fuck’s sake Mammon,” the signature clicking of Himiko’s heels on the stone floor alerted the three demons to her arrival before her voice did. “Stop being a douche.”
“We’re here to offer you a week off.” Lucifer ignored both Himiko and Mammon and kept his eyes fixed on Paimon. “Himiko noticed you were five seconds away from a stress induced heart attack so she campaigned for you to get some time off.”
“I-I-I’m fine, that’s very nice of you to offer but I’m coping well with my extra duties.”
Extra duties, also known as ‘nice things Paimon was doing for a group of demons he respected, which those demons then began to expect him to do all the damn time.’
“Paimon,” Himiko raised an unimpressed eyebrow. “You’re left arm is shaking.”
Paimon silently cursed his stupid arm. “Those are normal shakes!”
“Fuck dude… I don’t even like ya and I want you to take a vacation.”
“Consider it less of an offer and more of an order.” Lucifer said sternly. “Take the week off and come back refreshed. Your school responsibilities will be waived during your time off, now shoo.”
Lucifer waved his hand and strode past him down the hallway. Geez, what a charmer.
“Have fun, Paimon!” Himiko gave him a wave before gesturing Mammon to follow her, class was starting soon after all.
“Th-thank you Ms. Himiko.” Paimon mumbled and began to turn to leave, but Mammon caught the back of his school coat. Huh, a goodbye locker shove perhaps?
“Before ya leave,” Mammon cooed. “What’re ya doin’ with my human?”
“I’m not doing… anything?” Paimon said truthfully.
“Plannin’ on doing anything?”
“N-no?”
“Are ya sure?” Mammon tilted his head, his eyes began to glow dangerously. “Not planning on trying anything?”
“No sir!” Paimon began to wave his hands in an attempt to communicate some extra ‘NO’. “N-not at all! Ms. Himiko’s just a friend!”
Mammon raised an eyebrow and Paimon felt his stomach drop right to the floor. Apparently talking to the human exchange student was a death sentence. Wasn’t the point of this exchange program for demons and humans to get to know each other???
“Really now? How’d you two get to talkin’?”
“I-I uh, she um…” Paimon stuttered. “She swore me to secrecy…”
After blinking a few times in surprise, Mammon dropped Paimon right to the floor. “Alrighty then, I’ll just ask ‘er myself.”
Mammon then sauntered away like nothing happened. Geez… Paimon silently made a wish that Himiko could swallow her pride and actually admit the reason the two became friends so Paimon wouldn’t end up getting his ass handed to him by the Avatar of Greed himself. What a shit way to go…
————
Himiko gave Mammon a glare that could wither roses the moment he began to pepper her with questions about her friendship with Paimon. Geez, couldn’t a lady have some friends who didn’t want to date her? Was that too much to ask?
She let out a sigh and looked around to make sure that she and Mammon were alone in her room and that there was no one walking around in the hallway outside. Good, nobody. “Mammon, Paimon and I exchange gardening tips.”
Mammon blinked a few times and debated pinching himself to see if he was dreaming. His mean little human liked something like gardening..? That was… that was… so fuckin’ adorable! “You… you like gardening..? Really Himi?”
Himiko’s cheeks reddened with embarrassment, which really hindered the effect of her scowl. “Yes. In case you didn’t know, the plants here are very different from the plants in the human world, and I miss having a garden, so,” she gestured to the window out into the HOL’s garden where Mammon noticed quite a few new flower bushes. He had to admit, they were really pretty.
“Oh, so you two aren’t smoochin’ or anything?”
“Mammon,” Himiko smirked and fluttered her eyelashes. “Just because you’re hopelessly in love with me doesn’t mean everyone else is~.”
————
The moment Paimon stepped foot into his apartment he collapsed onto the couch like a… like a… tired person. The man hadn’t had a proper staycation in almost a thousand years, give him a break.
When he was done being a lump on the couch, he looked up at his plants. He hadn’t properly been able to look at them for a while- shit almost all of them were dead. Perhaps Paimon should have invested in a nice garden of cacti instead of fussy water-needing plants. Oh well, he had things to worry about other than his failing garden. His apartment was also a complete mess. After defeating his chronic anxiety by going on a massive cleaning spree, Paimon decided that he had a hankering for some sweets. He ordered in from Madame Scream’s and collapsed back onto the couch.
His pastries arrived and he was fully prepared to dig in until- A knock on the door startled Paimon from his stress free thoughts and the demon rushed to answer the door. The familiar faces of Mephistopheles and Satan awaited him.
“Hey buddy!” Mephisto gave Paimon a friendly (and a little too hard) thwack on the shoulder and walked into the apartment. “I smell foooooooood!”
“Paimon,” Satan flashed a grin and a friendly nod.
“L-lord Satan,” Paimon nodded dumbly, after registering what he was seeing, he stepped aside and let Satan into the apartment, thank fuck he had cleaned it. “What are… what are you doing here? Do you need me to do anything?”
“No, no,” Satan waved Paimon off. “I heard you and Mephisto were trying to solve a mystery and I thought I’d offer my help.”
“Oh! Thank you!” Paimon sputtered, he then turned to his pie, that Mephisto was busily shovelling into his mouth. Mephistopheles gave Paimon and Satan a thumbs up.
“S’great Pai!” Mephisto laughed at his own pun.
The mystery Satan was referring to was the mystery of the vandalized instruments. Paimon had asked Mephisto to help look into it, he was the former president of the newspaper club and had a penchant for getting into trouble and finding people responsible for trouble. It was a last resort kind of thing, really, Mephisto and Paimon never really spoke outside of their few shared classes.
“O-okay, did you guys find anything out..? Do you need me to answer any questions?” Paimon asked, sitting down at his tiny dining table across from Mephisto and Satan.
“We didn’t find much out today, suspect, but we do have some things we’d like to know.” Mephisto pointed a pie-filling covered finger at Paimon. “How do we know it wasn’t you who vandalized the instruments?! I can see the headline now! ‘Band president vandalizes instruments, Mephistopheles hailed as hero and reinstated as newspaper club president!’ I love it!”
“E-eh?!” Paimon jumped backwards in his seat, nearly knocking himself right onto the floor. “Wh-what?! Why would I do that?”
“That’s what I wanna know!” Mephisto slammed his sticky hands down on the table and leaned across to look Paimon right in the face. “Why’d you do it?!”
Satan grabbed the back of Mephisto’s shirt and yanked him back into his seat and gave Paimon an apologetic look. Ah, good cop bad cop, that was the game they were playing.
“Paimon, do you have an alibi?” Satan asked, his tone measured. Paimon meekly nodded.
“Y-yes, technically my alibi is you and your brothers, sir… I was busy all day, and that morning was the last time I saw the instruments before they were wrecked.”
“Mmm, just as I thought,” Satan nodded. “Paimon, does the band have any enemies you know of?”
“N-no,” Paimon said on reflex. “Wait! Yeah… um… a few demons… I have a list…”
He quickly began to write out a list of names. For someone who seemed so meek and pathetic, he had made a lot of enemies… well, less a list of enemies and more of a list of people who found it fun to bother him.
Satan raised an eyebrow as he looked over the list. “Paimon, how?”
“Wh-what do you mean?”
“How does a high ranking demon like yourself have this many petty enemies that you haven’t dealt with yet?”
A shrug was all Paimon could give. He preferred not to hurt people due to petty grudges, which was not a very good trait for a demon to have. No wonder no one respected him…
Satan huffed and nodded to Mephisto. “Well, we’ll look into these leads. Try and have a nice week off, Paimon.”
—————
Day One:
Lucifer needed his coffee, he sat up in his chair and leaned over to look at the clock, 3:30 pm. Paimon should be- ah, right, Lucifer gave him the week off. No matter, he rose from his seat and prepared to get his own coffee. He was a strong independent demon who didn’t need an assistant thank you very much.
When he walked into the kitchen, he nearly choked on air when he saw the technological monstrosity that was the new coffee machine. It had to be new, he had gone into the kitchen all the time to make his own coffee, hadn’t he? No, Paimon had taken care of that for the past how many years..? Geez, when was the last time Lucifer actually had to walk into RAD’s kitchen?
It’s just a coffee machine, Lucifer reasoned, he’d be able to figure it out in no time.
Riddle him this, why did this infernal thing have so many buttons?! The machine let out an unhappy groan and Lucifer was tempted to repeat the sound himself. Stupid coffee machine… back in his day coffee was made with magic, sure it exhausted the person more but… that’s what the coffee’s for!
After about twenty minutes of nearly fruitless labour, Lucifer finally figured out how to get the machine to make coffee to his tastes. He’d throw the machine at the wall if it made him decaf…
Lucifer (eventually) returned to his office and his massive stack of paperwork with his hot mug of caffeinated salvation and sat back down at his desk. His mind began to wander back to the conversation he had with Himiko the day prior.
Had he forgotten basic courtesy? He had known Paimon longer than Himiko could probably comprehend, was Paimon always this willing to get walked over? Lucifer wracked his brain trying to find the answer. He grimaced when he thought back to his time as an angel, but even then, Paimon was the same. A constantly frazzled Dominion who fell from heaven only to end up a frazzled and even more anxious demon.
It was so odd, when they all first became demons, Paimon was one of the large amount who decided that the best way to figure out their new demonic identities was to cause complete and utter chaos. It was an embarrassment, really, but Diavolo knew that no one could get that number of newly turned demons under control without ripping apart the Devildom, so he sent them up to the human world. It was devastating for the humans, but Diavolo knew it was necessary to save his kingdom. While up in the human world, everyone’s powers were tested and the pecking order if you will, was established. Paimon was right near the top.
One of the most powerful demons in the Devildom, one that watched kingdoms burn for his amusement just mere days after falling from grace, had become nothing more than an assistant. When and why? That was what Lucifer was wondering.
Tsk, he didn’t have time to wonder about the motivations of his little fake assistant, he had way too much work to do. He downed his coffee and stared down his paperwork. He was going to do this himself, or collapse from exhaustion trying.
——————
Day 2:
Mammon mindlessly gnawed on his pencil as he stared down at his homework. He was stuck in the library at RAD and couldn’t go home until his stupid work was done. His human had gone off with Asmo to go shopping… dummy… not that he cared or anything…
He needed help, but the great Mammon didn’t grovel! Wait, yes he did. But he usually didn’t have to when it came to his homework. That little nerd Paimon was always down to let Mammon copy his homework. Sure, if Lucifer even dared to ask if Paimon had let Mammon copy his homework, the purple haired demon would sing like a canary. Stupid little snitch….
…Mammon could have really used that little snitch right then…
He searched his mind for anything to daydream about to distract himself from the lame homework. Ah! His human! He liked to think about his human. Her cute little smile… her deep dark eyes… her soft hair that tumbled over her shoulders… her dumb but still somehow cute little headband…
Not that he liked her or anything! Uggggghhhh… this was going to be a long ass study session…
——————
How did things get this way..?
Paimon was once again lying face down on his couch, apparently cleaning only temporarily staved off his mental illness. At least he was spiralling in a clean house…
His concert hall got completely wrecked and his status wasn’t a deterrent to the stupid vandals… Paimon could and had crushed kingdoms beneath his heel! He’d sown discord across entire countries! Humans and demons alike begged to have the privilege of his favour, and now, nothing. Paimon hugged his knees to his chest and tried to ignore the feeling of his glasses digging into the side of his face. The tightness in his chest and gut was indicative of one thing:
Guilt.
Paimon was guilty. After being called back to the Devildom and seeing what he had done to the human world, he felt the worst most roiling and disgusting sense of guilt. He was completely alone, if any other demon that went up there and did the things he did felt guilty about any of it, they were amazing at hiding it. He had been an angel just a few days before he went completely ballistic…
Was his behaviour for the past thousand years some sort of bullshit atonement for him? Tsk, he didn’t have time to give himself a therapy session. He needed to go to sleep. He earned it, after all.
——————
Day 3:
Levi absentmindedly tapped his phone screen, the colourful gacha game was completely failing to fully entrap his attention. Ugh… just get the daily rewards and log out…
A crowd of chattering students walked into the formerly empty classroom to sit and eat lunch. Stupid normies… whenever he had to show up to school he at least had the ability to eat lunch by himself.
It was Paimon’s doing, obviously. After hearing that Levi was having a tough time being at RAD, the demon took it upon himself to make Levi more comfortable. After the first few times, Levi enlisted him as his personal crowd disperser.
He often wandered the halls during lunch making sure everything was alright like the world’s most anxious hall monitor. Whenever Levi happened to notice the sound of Paimon’s feet pattering against the stone floor, it was usually followed by Paimon’s meek little voice telling some wandering students that the classroom was occupied.
Tsk, dumb normie on his dumb vacation. Levi huffed and slid his headphones on to drown out the sound of the other students talking.
Paimon needed to hurry up and get baaaaaaaaaaack…
—————
Day Four:
“Alright, the scene of the crime…” Satan placed his hands on his hips and looked around the concert hall. The Avatar of Wrath had let Mephisto loose on Phenex and Eurynome for questioning. Satan now had the crime scene all to himself for investigating.
Most of the instruments were dented and ruined, hm… maybe he should have viewed the crime scene earlier when it was fresher. Man… all the fictional detectives Satan knew of would be so disappointed in him. Not perturbed, Satan began to peruse the room and take it all in. Well, until Asmo broke down the door shouting his name.
“Saaaaaaaataaaaaaaan!”
“I’m right here, Asmo, you don’t need to yell.” Satan turned and gave him an annoyed look. Asmo only beamed and clapped his hands together.
“No need to be so snide, Satan dear, I’m gracing you with my presence!” Asmo cartoonishly pouted as he almost skipped towards Satan. He looped his arm around Satan’s and began to try and pull him out of the room. “Come on! We’re going to have a self care day!”
“No, no we’re not.” Satan gently removed Asmo’s arm from his and shook his head. “I’m trying to solve a mystery, here.”
“Really?” Asmo raised an eyebrow and absentmindedly twirled a lock of hair with his finger. “Why? Isn’t this Paimon’s business?”
“Yeah, but Paimon asked Mephisto for help and Mephisto asked me, so here I am.” Seeing that Asmo wasn’t convinced, Satan dragged a hand down his face and prayed to the Demon King that his gossip of a brother could keep a secret. “There are no exams to study for, my favourite detective book series just ended, and Lucifer just rehomed a cat I took in. I have nothing else to do and I’m bored as hell.”
Asmo wrinkled his nose, then shrugged and nodded. “Eh, legit enough for me. I’ll help too!”
The two somewhat carefully rummaged around the room, searching for literally any kind of evidence that wasn’t destroyed in the fight between Phenex and Eury.
“Tada~ evidence!” So quickly? Satan had to stop himself from sighing as he turned to face his brother. Asmo proudly presented what looked like a neon orange fake nail, Satan crossed his arms and gave his brother a deadpan stare.
“Groundbreaking.”
“Satan, for a detective you can be really dense sometimes, I swear.” Asmo huffed and fixed his hair. “People who play musical instruments keep their nails short. Fake nails like these are expensive and are stuck onto the actual nail and sealed with magic. This obviously came off by accident, and it doesn’t belong to some band kid.”
“It belongs to the culprit then…” Satan murmured, digging through his pockets for his list of suspects. “Asmo, tell me, does anyone on this list have these kinds of nails?”
Asmo scanned the list of suspects and hummed to himself before snapping his fingers and grinning. “Only Amii would wear something as garish as that.”
Ah, one of RAD’s resident assholes. Amii and their partner in crime, Murmur, were frequent visitors to the detention hall due to their rampant idiocy. Their combined ability to learn absolutely nothing from their past punishments rivalled Mammon’s, and that was saying something because Mammon had gotten strung up at least once a month for the past two thousand years.
So, the little bastards had taken to bothering Paimon recently… perfect! Mystery solved!
Satan scratched his chin, then grinned. “I think we’ve found our culprits. Thanks Asmo, you were a real help.”
“It’s no problem Satan, really, you can repay me by keeping me company while we both have a nice spa day.”
————
Spending time rethinking one’s entire life and trying to cultivate a garden really sapped up Paimon’s energy. He wasn’t lying down on the couch this time though, his new breakdown spot was his kitchen table.
As he expressed to himself multiple times, he was sick and tired of being walked over, he may have hated being a demon, but he still was one. A damn high ranking one at that! He wasn’t some midranking Dominion anymore! He should be treated with basic respect!
The sudden ringing of his phone jolted him from his mini identity/respect crisis and he fumbled to pick it up.
“H-hello?”
“Paimon, you’ll be pleased to know that I have found the culprits.” Satan’s voice rang out from the phone and Paimon let out a sigh of relief. “Though, Amii and Murmur aren’t on school property at the moment.”
“Y-yeah…” Paimon was too emotionally drained to act surprised. “I think they’re on an overnight trip or something… they’ll be back on Monday.”
“And how do you know that?”
“I uh… I checked the budget documents you sent out at the start of the year to make sure no one was skimming funds again…” Paimon pursed his lips and sighed. “Remember what happened last year? I wanted to make sure Mammon didn’t cause you any extra trouble.”
“Ah, right.” Satan said. “Thanks for that.”
A genuine thank you! Paimon’s eyes practically sparkled as he nodded enthusiastically before realizing Satan couldn’t technically see him. “Y-you’re welcome!”
“So, I know it’s your club but this is also RAD property and I assume you know how much musical instruments are to replace…”
“Yeah… rest assured, I’ll deal with those two.” Paimon mumbled.
“Hm, I’d like to be there, if you don’t mind.”
You see, that was code for ‘I’m going to watch you to make sure you’re not just going to give them a lecture on not hurting other people’s feelings.’
“It’s no problem, Lord Satan.” Paimon said. “Come by if you have the time after school. I’ll put on a show.”
——————
Day Five:
Asmo was practically skipping through RAD’s hallways like he was following the yellow brick road or something. What had him so chipper? Some of his friends in the sewing club had agreed to help him sew some of his clothing designs and make them legitimately wearable! EEEEEEEE! He was so excited! He threw open the doors to the club and everyone… did not shower him with affection and praise. Pardon but what was this bullshit?
“Sorry Lord Asmodeus… but we’re in a bit of a crisis. Some of the sewing machines broke and we don’t have any way to replace them right now.” One of the club members said.
“How’d this even happen?!” Asmo huffed. “The sewing club never shuts down! There was a miniature hurricane going through RAD about a century ago and literally none of you skipped your club meeting!”
“W-well, normally we’d call Paimon to order some new machines or call a repairman because the student council usually gets really busy around this time of day…”
“UGH.” Asmo threw his head back and dramatically groaned. “Are there any machines in here that actually work?”
“Y-yes, about three of them…”
The demon pointed to three in the back and Asmo stomped over to begin sewing the one outfit he could do. He had bought nice fabrics and everything…
Asmo pulled out his sketch of the design, he smiled and set it down next to the sewing machine. He remembered how to use these… right?
‘Paimon usually fixes this’ ‘Paimon deserves a break’ ‘Paimon Paimon Paimon’ Asmo had to stop himself from openly rolling his eyes whenever that little pipsqueak’s name was mentioned. The Avatar of Lust had the stinking suspicion that the bespectacled demon wasn’t particularly fond of him. Everyone loved Asmo, that was a known fact, but Paimon had a funny way of showing it.
He never went exactly out of his way to help Asmo with anything. If Asmo requested help, it was always met with a cold ‘yes lord Asmodeus’. Hmph, Asmo had to hold back a bit of a smirk as a thought crept into his mind.
Paimon’s behaviour was truly a testament to how hard the Avatar of Lust is to get over~.
—————
Ready? Okay! The first step to becoming a respected demon was fixing the way he was perceived by others, and people mainly made their judgements on outward appearances.
Paimon was going to fix his self image! No more dorky glasses! Wait… he couldn’t see… damn. Okay, get contact lenses instead! Aaaaaaand he was out of those. New plan, the dorky glasses were staying on for the time being!
Hmmm… maybe he should flatten down his weird little crescent moon shaped Ahoge… Yeah, not going to happen. His hair kept flying right back up no matter how much hairspray he used.
Looking into his bathroom mirror, Paimon wondered how long it had been since he actually fussed over his appearance. 400… 500 years? Geez, that lined up awfully well with the last time he had been on a date… and that ‘relationship’ did not end well.
Oh well, he looked… well he looked like himself. That was fine. He just needed to fix his posture really quick-
The audible crack of Paimon’s spine may have scared his neighbour’s cat and caused the neighbour on his other side to wonder why their hellhound started barking, but at least he was standing up straight again. It was nice not to be slouched forward like the world’s most nervous Igor. Paimon stretched and shook out his shoulders. Huh, he forgot he was supposed to be 5’7 and not 5’5. He should have done this a while ago.
——————
The Weekend:
School was out for the next two days but the student council was still in the stupid building. Lord Diavolo had decided that the school year needed yet another festival week and it was up to the student council to budget, manage, and plan this entire thing, and to top off the sundae of stress, two of their members were missing.
Beel and Belphie were on the complete opposite side of the school, and their dear little human was having a hell of a time dragging them to the meeting. This was Himiko’s reward for not being an asshole.
“Beel, for the love of all things good in the world, I’m sure there will be snacks provided at the meeting, now get your face out of the fridge.” The long suffering Himiko practically begged. The attic nap club were stuck in the cafeteria despite the borderline desperate efforts of the human.
“You can’t know that for sure…” Beel sighed mournfully before he took another bite of whatever eldritch horror those demons called food. “Paimon or Barbatos would usually bring the snacks and neither of them are here…”
Foolishly hoping that the younger of the two twins would be able to do something, Himiko turned to Belphie, who was passed out with his head down on a cafeteria table.
“Belphie, wake up and help me get Beel out of the cafeteria.”
“No. I am asleep.”
“Belphie I swear-”
“Sh. Sleep.”
Beel usually carried Belphie’s unconscious ass to those stupid meetings because Beel knew for a fact there’d be snacks there, and now neither twin would move from the cafeteria. Great. Time to use the pacts Himiko worked so hard to obtain.
This. This was what it was like to be the one master to rule them all. It was glorified babysitting.
“BOTH OF YOU HAUL ASS TO THE ASSEMBLY HALL RIGHT NOW. BRING THE FOOD IN THE FRIDGE WITH YOU.”
Monday couldn’t come soon enough…
——————
To be concluded!
Author’s Note: Not too satisfied with this one, but honestly when am I ever satisfied with my own writing? Pai will go politely apeshit next part I promise
TFW you’re royalty and the local brown-noser goes on vacation and you now have no one to boss around :/ totally relatable right guys?
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aureostuff · 3 years
Text
Anger Issues
Brothers with an MC who has anger issues, cusses like a sailor and is also very strong, but is very supportive and caring.
Gender Neutral Reader
Lucifer
He can get quite annoyed with you at times since your outbursts tend to lead you to breaking anything within a five kilometer radius, and that includes his brothers.
He’ll have to lock you up in your room to prevent anything else from breaking. 
Sometimes when you get REALLY angry at him, you’ll end up swearing at him so fucking hard that Satan would literally be cheering you on.
“Lucifer you motherfucking son of a bitch where the FUCK is my Limited-Edition Vinyl Box Set?!” “MC, what did you just call me?”
This man will not accept being called a ‘motherfucking son of a bitch’, remember he’s the avatar of pride. He will not take your insult well. It also turns out that he accidentally broke it.
Though you insulted him that badly over your broken Vinyl box set, you still care for him as usual. Scolding him for having a shitty work and sleep schedule. Insisting that he could get more work done rested well. (though you’d prefer if he worked less and spent more time with you)
Mammon
Is fucking scared of you, but also fucking in love with you. He’d even sacrifice the things he’s bought that were so fucking expensive, for you to use it as a stress reliever. 
Story time, when Mammon tried to escape Levi and use you as a sacrifice. You’d literally grab his jackets collar, and said to him. “Where the fuck do you think you’re going? Are you that scared of some scrawny-ass bitch?”
Sadly, he managed to get away. 
There are cute moments between you two at times. Like how you are literally helping him get over his immense fear of Lucifer and telling him to ‘man up’ and you also encourage him to stand up to the people who bully him, like a real man.
“Listen here Mammon, you gotta stop letting your lil’ brothers bullying you. You are literally the second strongest, act like it! You’ve gotta stop acting like a pussy!”
All I can say is you’re making progress, just very slowly.
Leviathan 
Remember how I said that you called Levi a ‘scrawny-ass bitch’? He was very offended by that, but couldn’t help but accept it as the truth since he is what you’d call a ‘Slim-Jim’
He’ll yell at you, saying that was offensive. And he couldn’t help it since he was a disgusting shut-in Otaku.
“Who the fuck told you you could degrade yourself huh? I see nothing wrong with how you are you fucking dumbass!”
He’ll be crying tears of gratitude, but he’ll quickly wipe them away and get down to business to defeat, the Huns.
He’ll invite you to play video games with him (specifically games like Super Smash Demons) just to see your angered reaction when he wins. He’ll find it amusing and scary at the same time. It was funny to watch the loser rage when you won. And it was scary because unlike the times when he watched the losers rage, the loser, was RIGHT beside him, and could literally put him in the hospital. 
Whenever he calls himself a gross disgusting otaku, etc. you will literally smack him and swear at him very heavily, yelling at him to stop calling himself that. 
Satan
You think the avatar of wrath, ANGER INCARNATE, would get along with you, A LITERAL TICKING TIME BOMB THAT’S ABOUT TO EXPLODE. Well you are sorely mistaken. 
You guys would literally be the best the best of buddies. No doubt about that. You both would go to libraries (and proceed to get kicked out because of how loud you are), go to art museums to admire art. (and proceed to get kicked out because you’re being too loud and disturbing the other people who are trying to admire the art).
He’ll vent to you about his daddy issues problems with Lucifer. And you’ll gladly help him vent out all his pent up anger. “Listen here Satan. The best way to vent your anger is through violence, so if you don’t want to beat somebody to a bloody pulp, now’s your chance to do so.” when you told him that he was like: dude wtf is wrong with you. Then you told him that he could just use a punching bag. 
So yay! He can let out all his anger AND get ripped! Nice. He can use his (soon to arrive) muscles to crack Lucifer’s head open, yipee!!!
Though sometimes you get angry at Satan and vice versa. You two’ll get into fights and the room you two were fighting will be absolutely DEMOLISHED. Satan would be in demon form- no joke, he will be in his fucking demon form. 
You will both be incredibly bloody and beat up, that the brothers wont be able to recognize you. Apart from those ‘small’ fights, you both are very good friends and always look out for each other.
Asmodeus 
He’ll be telling you that being that angry will make you look like an old person, ew! 
Honestly in my opinion, he’ll be the person you’ll complain about your (small) problems to the most. He’ll be painting your nails and you’ll be like: “Dude, Beel ate the fucking food I ordered from Akudonalds! I was fucking starving and Beel just had to come along and eat it.”  “I get what you mean darling, one time Beel ate the limited edition perfume I had bought and was going to use on my date with this hot succubus.” 
Whenever he’ll take a pic with you, you’ll always look angry or be mid-shout in said pic. 
The replies on that photo would fall into one of three categories: a. They’re mainly focusing on Asmo, b. They would be laughing at your face or c. They’d be asking on who the fuck you were.
Asmo would reply to one of the comments in category c telling them: “He’s my significant other ofc~~”
You could always sense whenever he was feeling insecure, so being the good friend you are, you pull up a chair, and have a talk with Asmo.
Beelzebub
Your strong? Well now you’re Beelzebub’s gym buddy yayyyyyy.
Ninety percent of gym equipment is broken since you get a bit too angry, and Lucifer is going to give you one heck of a scolding. 
Beel will eat your food (he’s the avatar of gluttony, what’d you expect), then you’d literally be throwing hands with this giant.
“BEELZEBUUUUUUUUUUUB, HOW DARE YOU EAT THE FOOD I’VE BEEN WAITING TO ARRIVE FOR A LITERAL FUCKING HOUR.”
He’ll feel sorry and try to make it up to you, he’ll give you food, more food, even more food. Till there’s a mountain of his stash of food (plus the food from the fridge) right outside your door, he would literally wait outside your door, starving, as he’s waiting for you to go outside.
When you do go outside, you’ll spot Beel, hugging his knees, most likely asleep. You’ll sigh and grab some of the food on the pile and made your way towards the man. You grabbed him by his hair, lifting his head up. Beel would yawn and blink twice, then he’ll see your face. “MC... I’m sorry about your food...” you sighed. “Don’t worry about it Beel, now eat this shit. I know you’re hungry.”
Belphegor 
When he tried to kill you, your first thoughts were: Aight, time to kick this guy in the family jewels
And that you did. 
Though you still died, so your efforts were all in vain, and then you came back to life. You literally charged at him and pinned him to the ground, shouting profanities as the brothers tried to get you off of him. 
Honestly, you guys really wouldn’t get along that well. If he’s going to try to sleep, one way or another you’re going to stroll in arguing with one of his brothers. You were yelling loudly and swearing a bit too much that it caused Belphie to wake up, which in itself is an impossible achievement since Belphegor could literally sleep through an entire building construction even if it was all happening right beside him.
He’d be pissed that you woke him up, and then you’d forget your previous argument and focus on the one you currently having with the Avatar of Sloth.
He’ll be very happy when he sees you have fights with Lucifer, because nobody in their right mind would dare shout curse words and punch him in the gut, apart from him and Satan of course. When Lucifer locks you up in your room, he’ll make an attempt to help you escape your prison if he’s feeling generous. 
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Note
Can I ask for your thoughts on how a future IK would react to the kid event going on right now?
sorry it took me a while to get to this! i had to actually play through the event first and i didn't get to finish it until yesterday ^^ i've tried to make this a little longer to make up for it!
by the way, if any of y'all want to send in more asks like this about post-season one events or pop quizzes, please do! it might take a bit to answer, but i love writing them! ^^
notes on a jtta version of the 'i kid you not' event are under the cut!
so we'll separate this entire situation into two phases, phase one being Absolute Hell, and phase two being generally softer and cuter
we will spend more time on phase two because obviously that's the part we all care about
so! phase one:
ik has never been more stressed in her entire life
she's not good with regular human kids, how is she expected to deal with THESE guys??
and remember this - everyone looks the same as they usually do. same faces, same bodies, same... heights.
so you've got twelve four-year-olds bumbling about the house of lamentation, and ELEVEN out of these twelve four-year-olds are like six heads taller than her. the one exception is luke and he's roughly the same height as her, give or take an inch or two
nearly every single time she attempts to tell one of others to calm down or stop pouring juice all over the carpet, the response is something along the lines of "i don't have to listen to you, you're SMALL"
they aren't deliberately attempting to be mean because they still have that subconscious voice going 'no that is the Good Kid and she is for protecting and not for bullying'
but gosh darn, if ik isn't about to lose her mind
beel is following her around constantly asking for food, and he keeps batting at her when she's too occupied with something else to respond
he means it innocently but he's so BIG and unable to control his strength in this state, so he's basically sucker punching her into the next week every single time
and mammon does not understand that he's not small enough to run into her without bulldozing her directly into the floor
OH and you know that brutal honesty kids will have? both diavolo and asmo have it in droves and they does not let up on it
i will spare you the details of what they say but all i will say is that they individually verbally rip ik to shreds with oblivious sunny smiles on their faces the entire time
there are so many guys to try to take care of as well so ik is just constantly wandering around attempting to keep everyone happy
she's not in any one room for longer than fifteen minutes at a time, but doing about twenty different things in that space of time - breaking up squabbles, cleaning up messes, straightening out furniture, etc, etc
the boys do kind of calm down after the first few hours though
thank the lord because ik was probably about to pass out
actually she does pass out but at least it's voluntary, and she does it somewhere comfy
and so we enter phase two!
having spent basically the entirety of phase one on the verge of tears, ik is out cold for a good while
she's chosen to hide in lucifer's study, so it takes a hot second for the four year olds to find her
it's belphie who wanders in and finds her curled up in one of the chairs, but instead of telling anyone or waking her up he just plonks himself on the floor next to the chair and goes to sleep as well
by the time ik wakes up, the house is suspiciously quiet...
her first thought is 'oh god they've escaped'
then solomon, who's kind of got more adult awareness than everyone else, comes in and explains things
turns out he attempted to give everyone a lecture about the whole situation. most of it flew over everyone's heads (including his own, because to be honest he wasn't entirely sure what he was saying), but they did at least understand that they should tone it down a bit before ik went stir-crazy
in any case most of them have run out of that manic toddler energy anyway, so everyone's more mellow
they're still restless though (as kids often are), so ik takes a deep breath, scribbles out a plan, stuffs her pockets with random sweets she finds in the kitchen, and sets off
all the kids need to be placated/kept busy so that she can start cleaning up their mess without more being made
twelve four-year-olds, one barely-even-qualified-as-a-teenager. mission begin!
lucifer's still into music even in this state of mind, so ik gets him busy by teaching him how to plonk out 'the incy wincy spider' on the piano in the music room and giving him a sweet for each phrase he plays correctly
he doesn't say out loud that he likes the sweets but he smiles every time he gets one and stuffs it into his own pocket, presumably for later
then ik leaves him to it and he just sits there playing the tune over and over - he doesn't even need the sweets as incentive anymore
one child down, eleven to go
ik figured out ages ago that if you take off your shoes, you can slide around in the living room in your socks like you're on an ice-skating rink, so she enlists levi, beel, diavolo and mammon in this game
it's a lot easier for her because smaller = less weight and less weight = less friction, and less friction = more slip n slide
the demons do seem to get the hang of it, but they also keep sliding directly into her, and ik's not sure if they're doing it on purpose or not
on the one hand, as four-year-olds, are they even capable of acting like it was an accident that well?
on the other, the way they keep giggling furiously every time they nearly bowl her over is a little suspicious...
they start a game of tag that quickly devolves into basically a game of bumper cars, but without the cars
diavolo trips over and faceplants multiple times and every time he just lies there waiting for ik to come help him up since he apparently has no motor function of his own
mammon and beel basically take it in turns winning because mammon's the fastest and beel was already capable of knocking everyone present over easily (with the exception of diavolo, but he's already falling on his own)
levi's wailing half the time because he can barely stand up before mammon's barging into him again, but then ik comforts him by giving him some of the sweets in her pocket so he goes from :(( to :DDDD real quick
except that was a bad idea, because the other three immediately zero in on the candy and charge directly for her
she manages to free herself from the horde for long enough to divvy up a fair amount for each boy
now placated, they settle quickly back into their game, and ik quickly sidles out to move onto the next batch of kids
five down, seven to go
belphie was still sleeping on lucifer's study floor last time she checked, so that's where she heads next
you have to go through the library to get to the study, though, and it's in the library that ik finds solomon and satan attempting to make a human tower to get at one of the books on the top-most shelf
(there's a stepladder in the library for this exact purpose since even beel can't reach that particular shelf without jumping, but neither solomon nor satan have remembered it exists)
solomon's attempting to make himself a stool but every time satan tries to climb onto him he just collapses
satan's getting so irritated by this that he just starts fuckin stamping on solomon's back
luckily ik butts in before he starts using any real force and suggests using magic... or just, you know, using that stepladder
then when they finally get the book they wanted down, they decide they don't want to read it anymore
ik just sighs, smiles a bit, then offers to find a different book
satan and solomon are arguing over a fantasy novel and a historical adventure, so ik just grabs both
she sits on the big sofa with satan and solomon sat cross-legged in front of her and reads the first chapter of each book to them while they listen intently
at this point belphie emerges from the study and immediately throws himself onto the sofa, curls up next to her, and goes back to sleep
in the end ik just gives satan and solomon their individual books and leaves them to read through the rest on their own
(she also leaves behind a little heap of sweets for sharing but everyone's too occupied by their own thing to pay attention to them)
eight down, four to go!
next up are simeon and luke, who are playing some kind of cowboy game in the common room!
(no i don't know how they know what cowboys are, just go with it)
ik walks in and has the game explained to her through a series of excited babbling and hand gestures, and dubs herself 'gunman mcgun', which luke and simeon seem to think is the funniest thing ever
luke pretends to shoot her and she pretends to die and both angels immediately start panicking
luke genuinely begins crying because he thinks he just killed his best friend
ik quickly performs an elaborate 'resurrection' of herself and reassures both that she is, in fact, not dead
then simeon pretends to shoot her and she pretends to die again and it all happens again except this time simeon's the one crying
she comforts both angels with a hug and some sweets and suggests that maybe they shouldn't play a game about cowboys killing each other if they get this upset about her 'dying'
then she suggests a game using the sweets she's given them, like one where they're in a world made entirely out of candy, and they can eat a sweet e.g. for each candy monster they defeat
this is a very exciting concept to the angels, so they get started with that game immediately. ik leaves a few more sweets so that they don't run out too quick and takes her leave
ten kids down! two to go!
she tracks barbatos down to the kitchen pretty quickly, and discovers him sat sulkily in the corner, covered in flour
apparently he'd wanted to bake something, but his hand-to-eye coordination isn't what it usually is, so he'd tipped the flour all over himself and the floor
ik (trying very hard not to laugh because he looks like casper the friendly ghost) gets him to his feet and helps him pat himself down with a tea towel
he's still lightly floured, but he is mostly clean, so ik quickly shoos him into the dining room so that she can sort out the flour mess
barbatos isn't happy about that but ik cheers him up with the promise of a tea party
so she puts the kettle on while she sweeps up the flour (and gets herself generously dusted in the process), and barbatos waits in anticipation in the dining room, kicking his legs about restlessly
asmo flies into the kitchen while ik's trying to find the tea set and just starts sobbing on her because he tried to make himself pretty but now his comb's stuck in his hair and none of his clothes fit right and nothing is going how it's supposed to and everything sucks and— and— and—
it takes a good five minutes to calm him down and barbatos is getting antsy, but occupies himself with hitting things with a fork to see what nosiest they make
once ik's helped asmo get the comb out of his hair and brush out his tangles, wipe off the lipstick smeared on his cheek, put his jacket back on the right way around and wash the glitter from his hands, the kettle's long since boiled
asmo follows her into the dining room when she goes through with the teapot, sugar jar, milk jug and cups and saucers, so she invites him to join barbatos's tea party in her place (she still has other stuff to clean up, after all, and she wants to quickly check in on everyone else too)
barbatos doesn't seem too happy about it but he does begrudgingly agree, and he seems content when ik has to re-teach him how to handle a teapot
and asmo's having a great time... sprinkling sugar all over the tabletop....
just another thing to clean up...... better add it to that list of like a hundred items................
ik is just so tired by now but she gets started anyway
first there's the mess of glitter and make-up in asmo's room, then the juice soaked into the entrance hall carpet, then the paint smears on henry 2.0's tank, then the sheets that have been yanked off of all the beds..............
by the time she's done she's about ready to die on the spot, but she manages to drag herself up into the attic for some peace and quiet (since simeon and luke have decided to make her room a part of their game)
honestly at this point she probably wouldn't notice if the boys started killing each other
luckily the spell's beginning to wear off so they're all well-behaved while she buries herself in the attic bed and goes to sleep
congratulations, ik! you've survived the 'i kid you not' event!
now get ready for about an hour of sheer panic when everyone is back to normal and the house is spick and span, but completely void of any human children, and they all go ballistic trying to figure out where ik went
this will be followed by five hours of ik being fussed over because she looks like death and seems to have gotten herself sick through sheer emotional (and physical) exhaustion
but that's a whole other set of notes!
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