#sorry it's just talking about them into the void makes my anxiety calm down a bit

[thatlovinfeelin]

Flightless Bird | seven | Bradley Rooster Bradshaw

Synopsis: Josephine Wilson Miller is alone for the first time in her life. She got married after her first year of college and became a housewife, but that life is gone now. So she runs to San Diego, to her childhood best friend Jake, where she meets the man who could very well be her salvation.

series warnings: unplanned pregnancy, just pregnancy in general, talks of infertility. past mental and emotional abuse. anxiety. talks of women's reproductive systems (idk)

“Michael told me I had to choose between him or the baby,” Jose’s voice was so flat, so void of emotion. 

Truth be told, it scared Bradley. She went from sobbing in his arms to being deadly calm as she stared straight ahead. He would be more than worried if he thought he had the right to be. He wouldn’t be surprised if she told him to get lost and never come back again. 

He felt horrible, he wasn’t even sure why he reacted so angrily. He swore he never reacted to anything like that in his life. He wanted to be angry after his mother’s diagnosis, all those years ago, but he remembered how he just felt empty. So empty. 

“When I told him I would choose the baby every time, he told me to leave. Well, he yelled at me actually.”

“Jose-”

“I thought you’d be better than him. I never thought you’d yell at me for being pregnant, for choosing a life I never thought I could have. I was wrong.”

Bradley felt his heart sink. He wished his parents were still alive so he could talk to them. Sure, he was in his mid thirties, but he never felt more like a child. He let Jose down, and he let himself down. 

“Jake is on his way to get you,” He said softly, sliding his phone back into his pocket. 

She wouldn’t look over at him, didn’t even want to acknowledge he was still there. He couldn’t blame her. If he had the choice, he wouldn’t want to see or talk to him either after the way he acted. But still, he got up and knelt on the ground in front of her, he had to at least try to say he was sorry. Even if it was too late for that. 

“I don’t know why I acted that way, I don’t-” He shook his head, no excuse would ever make up for it, nothing would ever seem to make this better. He fucked up in more ways than one, “Jose I can’t tell you how sorry I am. I’m not Michael, I promise you that. I’ll spend the next twenty or so weeks trying to prove that to you, if you’ll let me. I shouldn’t have yelled at you, I had no right to.”

She just continued looking over him. Jake’s truck pulled up a few minutes later. Bradley wasn’t even sure if Jake had time to put it in park before he launched out of the driver seat. By the time Bradley was on his feet, Jake was already to Jose with Phoenix just behind him.

“Hey, you okay Darlin?” The first thing Bradley noticed was the southern accent. 

He only ever heard Jake’s real accent when he was mad enough to let it slip, but never did he sound so tender. Jake talked about how she was like family to him, but Bradley never had the chance to see it until now. 

Jake carefully put an arm around Jose and helped her up, Phoenix was there in an instant to help the other woman to the truck while Jake turned to Bradley. His eyes were like fire, but Bradley wouldn’t put up a fight. If Jake wanted to beat him up, Bradley would let him. Because he knew he deserved it. He deserved anything Hangman wanted to do to him. 

“You are god damned lucky she’s in that car right now, Bradshaw,” Hangman warned, “You aren’t going to even look at her until she says it’s alright, do you hear me? And you sure as hell better stay out of my way on base.”

“Seresin-”

“No, you’ve done enough. Now Nat and I get to pick up the pieces.”

Jose was curled up in the backseat when Jake got back to the truck. Phoenix, without Jake even having to say anything, seemed to understand that she was driving the short distance back to the house while Jake sat in the back with Jose. He held onto her as they drove in silence. 

The last time he saw her shut down like this, they were in high school and it was after a massive fight with her mother. She stayed at his house for nearly a week, his mother doted on her along with his sisters. It was his turn to look after her now. 

“I’ve got you,” He whispered to her, kissing the top of her head. 

“He wasn’t different.”

Jake felt his heart break in a strange way. Because he knew Bradley “Rooster” Bradshaw was different. He wasn’t like Michael at all. Hell, some days Jake swore Bradshaw was a better man than him. Sure, Bradshaw had his demons and his fair share of family issues, but he was good. Bradshaw actually cared about people, Jake didn’t even have to really like the guy to know his heart was nearly as big as the state of Texas. 

Bradshaw loved kids too, Jake knew that because of all of the cookouts and events they had to attend since being permanently stationed in San Diego. There was never any shortage of kids at those, and he was always playing with them. Jake knew, in another life, or maybe even this one by some miracle, Bradley would love her baby. 

“I just want to go to bed,” Jose mumbled as they walked into the house. 

“Jo, you need to eat something first,” Jake said gently. 

Phoenix stood near the door, watching silently as Jose seemed to sink further and further. She felt helpless, she didn’t know Josephine well enough to know how to help her. But the female pilot almost had it in her to march over to Rooster’s house and give him a piece of her mind, but she wouldn’t leave Jake and Jose until she was asked. 

“Jose, please,” Jake’s voice seemed to break as he took a small step towards her. 

She wrapped her arms around her stomach, “It’s going to be a girl…I just know it is. The cycle won’t end with me. I’m going to be just like her.”

She shut and locked her door before Jake could even react. He felt like she just shoved a knife straight into his chest. For years Josephine fought to be nothing like her mother, she went to college, albeit she never finished her degree, but she got married. She made a life for herself and existed outside of the small Texas town she once called home. Josephine was nothing like her mother, and it broke his heart to even consider the fact that Jose felt like she was.

“I’ll start cleaning up,” Phoenix said softly, “I’ll put it all on the fridge, in case you can convince her to eat.” 

“Nat.”

She shook her head, turning towards the kitchen. She felt the sudden urge to cry. Natasha didn’t do well with overwhelming emotions, she was trained not to give into them. But seeing both Jose and Jake look so broken…she didn’t know how to feel. She just felt the need to protect. 

Jake sighed and made his way over to Natasha. She was collecting the pots and pans to drop into the sink when he wrapped his arms around her middle, resting his chin on her shoulder. She tensed for a moment before melting into his arms.

“I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.”

“She’ll be okay,” Jake said, although he wasn’t sure if he was convincing her or himself, “All we can do is wait for her to come to us.”

Less than five miles away, Bradley paced out on the street in front of Penny Benjamin’s house. Pete “Maverick” Mitchell spent more time here than he did his own house these days, after rekindling his relationship with Penny a few months prior. Bradley didn’t think twice about walking, or maybe even running, to the house, but now that he was here he wasn’t sure how he was going to explain himself. 

“You could just do that in the backyard with Mav,” A younger voice called from the front door. 

Bradley spun around to see Amelia, Penny’s daughter, leaning against the door frame with her brows raised. After the mission, Bradley started spending a lot more time with Mav, and Penny and Amelia by association. The young girl became like a little sister to Bradley. 

For a second he imagined that someone treated her the way he treated Jose and it made him feel even worse. He really would let Hangman kill him if he wanted to. 

“He’s in the back?” Bradley questioned, trying to keep his voice even. 

“Yep, he’s supposed to make dinner since mom is working tonight, but I have a feeling he’ll order takeout.”

He nodded and made his way to the back. Mav seemed to be fighting with the grill by the time Bradley closed the gate. The man could take apart and rebuild airplanes in his sleep if he wanted, but it seemed that cooking wasn’t something he ever learned. Which didn't surprise Bradley all that much. The only memories he had of Mav making any sort of meal for him usually involved cereal.

“Need any help?” Bradley asked the other man. 

Mav nearly jumped before turning around, “Didn’t expect to see you tonight. Not after your little fight with Hangman.”

Bradley sighed and ran a hand over his face, “I fucked up, and uh… I need help.”

Mav nodded and closed the grill, turning all of his attention towards Bradley. Maverick helped raise the man, he was there on his first day of school, watched as he scored his first home run, and even helped him learn how to ride a bike. He did his best to be the father figure Bradley deserved, even if it meant ruining his relationship with Bradley to do so. To have him coming for advice now made Mav’s chest tighten a bit, just like it did when a teenage Bradley would call him all of the time for help. 

“What happened?”

“I hurt someone I think I really care about. I mean, I really hurt her,” Even Bradley could hear the pain in his voice, “I don’t think she’ll ever forgive me.”

Mav nodded and opened a cooler by the grill to pull out two bottles of beer. He handed one to Bradley before sitting down in one of the patio chairs. Bradley didn’t sit though, instead he started pacing again. 

“I take it this is about that girl that’s staying with Seresin?”

Bradley nodded slowly, “She’s pregnant.”

Mav watched the young man carefully for a moment, “Okay….”

“I didn’t react well.”

“Bradley I-”

“It’s not mine, or Jake's,” Bradley clarified, “She’s married…separated, because he didn’t want a baby and tried to make her choose…but still technically married. She’s more than four months along, and I found out because Hangman dropped a damn ultrasound photo after training.”

Mav sat back and let out a deep breath, “So that’s why you blew up on him?”

Bradley winced, “I wish it was just him. I was awful to her. She doesn’t owe me a thing, I know that Mav I really do. But once I opened my fucking mouth I couldn’t stop. I just saw red and, fuck Mav, I made her cry. I fucking broke her.”

“So, you got angry at her for being pregnant?” Mav asked slowly, trying not to judge his godson too harshly.

“Fuck, no not at her,” Bradley pulled at his hair, trying to get his thoughts together, “I- he threw her out on the street in the middle of the night in Manhattan, who the fuck does that? All because she decided she wanted to have the life she gave up on a long time ago. The second that sunk in I wanted to fucking murder him. I’m not mad at her, I could never be mad at her. I’m mad for her, but I lost control. I haven’t done that in years.”

Bradley was pacing faster now, clutching the beer bottle hard enough to make his knuckles turn white. He was breathing heavily. Truly, Mav hadn’t seen Bradley like this before. For a moment he just saw Goose after his first really bad fight with Carole. The thought alone threatened to break the older pilot’s heart.

“Your dad had a temper,” Mav said softly, “You wouldn’t think it, but damn he had one. He just kept a very tight leash on it, and learned to be a little more lighthearted. But there was this one time he lost it during a fight with your mom. I remember him telling me he was like a runaway train, he couldn't do anything to stop it. And Carole, oh that woman, she just stood toe to toe with him, until eventually she slapped him so he would stop.”

Bradley stopped dead in his tracks. He couldn’t imagine his dad losing his temper on anyone. Every story he ever heard always seemed to paint his dad as such a docile loving, level headed man. He always thought his mom was the only one that had the fire. 

“Dad?”

Mav only nodded, “He gave me a black eye once in our early days, before your mom came into the picture and fixed him up.”

Bradley shook his head, “You don’t understand, Mav. She said I was like him. She thought I was better, but I’m not. I- she’s pregnant and…the way she was crying. I-”

“You really care about her,” Mav added, “But believe me, if you were still a kid, I’d have your ass. Hell, I’d call Seresin and bring him over here to beat the shit out of it. But I think you’re doing a damn good job of beating yourself up.”

“I don’t know what to do,” Bradley admitted, finally sitting down. 

He hadn’t so much as taken a sip of his beer. He slowly started to turn the bottle in his hands. He felt like he was at war with himself. Never in his life had Bradley treated a woman like that. He was raised to respect women, not do whatever the fuck he just did.

“I don’t know how to fix this.”

“You just try to be there,” Mav shrugged, “I don’t think there’s anything else you could do. Penny might be able to shed some light, but only after she rips into you.”

“I deserve it.”

Back at Jake’s, Jose was still in her room, curled up on her bed while clutching her stomach. She felt like she failed her little baby already. She caught herself wondering if her mother felt this way when she was pregnant. Did she ever worry that she was already ruining her unborn child’s life, or did Janice Wilson even care? 

There was a gentle knock at her door, it had to be Jake. She cried harder when she felt his hand gently rest on her shoulder. She knew this was bad for the baby. All of the stress was something she was supposed to avoid at all costs.

Jake didn’t think twice about crawling into the bed and wrapping his arms around her. She clutched onto his arms like she would drift away without him. He just held her tightly and let her cry, because at least she wasn’t alone now. 

He thought about Phoenix, who after two hours said she was going to get in bed, but he needed to go be with Jose. Somehow she understood the relationship Jake had with his childhood best friend. He never had to explain that he loved her, or how, because Natasha just seemed to already know. 

“I don’t want to be her,” Jose cried softly. 

“Darlin, that fact alone proves that you aren’t,” He whispered, giving her another little squeeze, “Even if it is a girl, you’re nothing like your mother, because you already care more about this baby than your mother ever could.”

“I let myself think I could fall in love with him.”

Jake kissed the top of her head, but didn’t say anything else. How could he tell her that he saw the truth that even Bradley wasn’t ready to admit. He saw the way Rooster seemed to break as she walked away from him. Watching that made Jake realize a very painful truth, Bradley let himself fall in love with Jose. Only, he didn’t know what to do with it. 

Bradshaw always made a point of keeping people at a distance. He swore it made the job easier, because had less to fear. He could remember the night, less than a week after they got back from the Uranium mission, where Bradley confided in him. He told Jake that he never had real plans to have a family or fall in love, because he would rather be alone than have someone go through what his mom did after Goose’s death. 

But Jake saw it in Bradley’s eyes as the realization finally sunk in. It was too late, Bradley was already in too deep. Jake wouldn’t say anything, because despite everything, it wasn’t his place. He would sit back and wait. He would watch Bradshaw and make sure he didn’t so much as dare to toe the line that was now drawn in the sand. 

Because tonight, Bradley was worse than Michael, even if he couldn’t see it for himself yet. Because Michael stopped really loving Jose a long time ago, he just loved the idea of her and what she stood for, what she could do for him. But Bradley….well, Bradley loved Jose in a way that seemed almost pure, which only made all of this even worse.

#bradley bradshaw imagine #bradley bradshaw #rooster bradshaw #bradley rooster bradshaw #bradley bradshaw fic #bradley bradshaw fanfiction #rooster fanfic #rooster top gun #rooster x oc #rooster bradshaw imagine #bradley bradshaw x oc #bradley rooster bradshaw x oc #hangman top gun #jake hangman seresin #jake hangman fic #jake seresin imagine #hangman x phoenix #hangman imagine #hangman fic #jake seresin #flightless bird! jake

[endogenichaven]

tw: anxiety, self-harm, and suicide mentions

Hey. I have a question about traumagenic and endogenic systems (and if I might be a system or *becoming* one), and i don't really know where to go for resources.

So, like, 10-ish years back, i first noticed that when i talked/argued with myself, it was no longer me exactly. Like it was, but she was somewhat to the left, if that makes sense? and then since then, i've found her to be ... separate? Like, she feels more split off and more "definitive" than at the start, and also she feels less feminine and more...idk. like instead of a person, she's just this void. but she still has a feminine voice, so i call her she even though it doesn't sound quite right.

Then, a few years ago, i noticed two other "voices". One of them was also female and she told me she was Killer Frost (yes, from The Flash), but has since decided to go by Kaitlyn and has calmed down a lot (she used to be very aggressive and dark-humored and basically like Killer Frost from the show before she calmed down). The other is an Asian guy named Justin. They were actually invaluable to me during 2020 because when my college went online, i started dealing with a lot of stress and even started having these anxiety attacks and there were several times i started wanting to cut or k*ll myself, and Justin and Kaitlyn always jumped in and helped talk me back.

the problem is, none of them have ever fronted. (I one time invited them too, but then immediately had a panic attack because the thought "what if they're demons and you just invited a demon to possess you" entered my head and Justin [the one i was currently talking to] said something along the lines of 'only when you're ready'.) They've all just been "voices" i hear in my head, though they do feel distinct from me, especially Kaitlyn and Justin.

also, i can't tell if it's like an alter, or me just talking to myself (seeing as that's how this whole thing started).

I do have childhood trauma and have been diagnosed with PTSD because of it, but i was 10 when the trauma took place, which from what i've seen in what i can find on DID, is too old for DID to form, which is why I'm unsure if i should look into traumagenic or endogenic systems for answers.

Sorry if this was too long or wordy or whatever. Any answers or resources you can provide are appreciated ^.^

It's fine! Apologies for the wait time, we didn't notice this in our ask box until recently.

Fronting isn't required to be plural or a system, so don't worry too much about whether they can do it or not. The only requirement is being more than one, and your experiences seem to fit!

Some forms of plurality do present in a more blended, merged, or faceted fashion similar to yours. OSDD-1a presents with alters that aren't as distinct as those in DID and OSDD-1b systems, and median systems can present as faceted sides or voices of one's own self.

DID and OSDD-1a do have age limits, but traumagenic systems can form at any age. They could have formed from the PTSD, especially if traumas after that initial trauma encouraged their formation. However, it's also not unheard of for some systems to form from self-talk, or as a coping mechanism. These systems may consider themselves traumagenic or endogenic depending on the specifics of how they came about, such as if they formed during the trauma or after, or whether they intended to make another or not. As origin is fuzzy for you, it may be better to focus on what you need support or help with for now, than how everyone came about.

General plural spaces might be a good area to start, since they tend to care less about origin and might be able to guide you towards more specific resources. Here are a couple of links that might help:

r/plural

Dissociative Initiative

Kinhost.org

From there you should be able to find more specific resources that may suit you better. Hope this helped, and good luck!

#endogenichaven #tw: suicide #tw: self harm #plurality #endogenic #actuallyendogenic #endogenic systems #positivelyplural #endogenic system #asks

[storiesfromhalcyontale]

Nightmares

I looked around aimlessly in the black void, I didn’t like this place. Dream’s are normally meant to be the brain’s form of escapism, a way to escape the shitty lives we find ourselves in and place us in our preferred realities. 

My dreams weren’t like that.

My dreams are nightmares.

My vision began to warp into that of a classroom setting, however it was empty except for one person. It was Eren Watanabe. The weird-ass uniform he wears always makes him stand out wherever he is, even in dreams. I stood there paralysed, Eren turned to me with a sickening grin and cackled.

“Still afraid, Shoto?” Eren asked.

“No.” I murmured, clearly shaking, “I’m not afraid of you.”

“Really?” Eren then laughed, “Then why don’t you stand up for yourself Shoto?”

“Because I don’t want to cause a scene in the classroom.” I answered back as Eren got closer.

“Shoto you're below a nobody. You're weak and pathetic and no loser would EVER be friends with you-” I heard them familiar words then snapped. I wanted to punch Eren for all the times he’s wronged me.

“SHUT UP EREN. I DON’T CARE WHAT YOU THINK! SHUT UP!”

“SHUT UP!” I jolted awake at my own words, I glanced around my room as my breathing got faster. I could barely think, my mind was racing and my panicked state wasn’t helping at all. I’d just curl up into a ball, letting my anxiety take over quickly. I heard my door open but I didn’t look over.

“Sho?” I heard Grillby’s voice ring through my ears as a warm orange glow filled the room, “Sho, are you alright?”

“I um…” I looked up at Grillby, who had a concerned look on his face, “Yeah. Yeah I’m fine.”

“Sho, I’m your foster dad.” Grillby said calmly, taking a seat on my bed as he looked at me, “You can talk to me you know.”

“No it’s fine…I…” I was stumbling on my words, I looked up at Grillby. My breathing was still heavy and overall pretty fast.

“Do you want me to get you a hot chocolate?” Grillby looked at me as I looked at him. “Hot Chocolate?” I said in a confused tone, “How…how will hot chocolate help with…with my panic attack?”

“Hot chocolate can calm your nerves.” Grillby answered as he patted my head, “And to be honest Sho I think you could do with one.” I nodded my head as Grillby got up from his seat and left the room. The warm orange glow left my room, leaving me in darkness once more. As the darkness surrounded me I remembered nightmare Eren’s words.

“Still afraid, Shoto?”

“Really? Then why don’t you stand up for yourself Shoto?”

“Shoto you're below a nobody…”

My thoughts were then drowned out by the sounds of Grillby making Hot chocolate, the sweet smell flew into my nostrils and I was able to begin to ground myself slightly from my panic attack. The orange glow soon returned to my room as I saw Grillby carry in a glass of warm hot chocolate.

“Thanks…thanks Grillby.” I answered as he handed me the hot chocolate, I drank a bit and immediately felt a fuzzy warmness fill my body.

“Your welcome Shoto.” He took a seat next to me, “So what happened that got you so panicky?”

“I um…” I looked away from Grillby, “I had a nightmare.”

“About what?”

“About…about Eren.” I mumbled, I was slightly embarrassed.

“Has he been tormenting you Sho?” Grillby asked me with a serious look in his eyes.

“Yeah…” I mumbled as I continued to drink my hot chocolate. “I’m sorry I’m just being stupid Grillby.”

“Sho…” Grillby looked at me with pity, “You aren’t being stupid at all. It’s understandable that you’re having nightmares about this kid.” There was a long silence for a moment. Then Grillby looked at me, “Sho, do you want me to call you in unwell today and you can come with me to work if you want.”

“What? To your bar?”

“Yes.” Grillby responded, “You don’t have to if you don’t want to but I think it’d be nice to get your mind off your horrible nightmare.”

“Yeah.” I sat up and put my now empty cup of hot chocolate down on the bedside table, “Yeah I’d like that..”

“Good.” Grillby would then hug me. I was calming down at this rate and honestly being embraced by someone I looked up to really helped. Once Grillby let go and left my room I turned my light on and began getting ready for my day, it was five am and even though Grillby. I would get changed into my usual clothing and put on my headphones that Grillby had bought for me a couple days ago. I put on the song ‘Oh no!’ by Marina, relating to a song a lot is really funny to me.

Maybe today won't be as horrible as it started, though we’ll have to see.

#sho sato #shoto sato #grillby #undertale #undertale au #Halcyontale #Feel-good #Writeblr

[wormstacheangel]

When Dean finally rescued Cas from the empty, he expected a happy reunion. He envisioned a strong hug like the first time he had escaped. He expected a long-awaited kiss and repeated confessions that weren’t said with sorrow or heartache. He expected to find the same Cas that was taken, but that would have been too easy.

Cas was left awake, alone, and in complete darkness for months on end.

So when Dean went into the empty, ready to wake up the love of his life, he found Cas curled in on himself—staring blankly out into the void of nothingness. He whispered something so softly and quickly that Dean couldn’t pick up on the actual words, but it sounded familiar. Almost like he was humming a song.

Dean tried to get him to stand up on his own, but he quickly realized that Cas wasn’t even looking at him. His gaze was distant, seeing something Dean can’t even imagine. He then noticed the white film over his eyes dimmed the once bright blue.

His fingertips gently traced over the skin he had only dreamt of touching for months before he took a deep, shaky breath to steady himself. With that slight pause, Dean used whatever desperate strength he had and dragged Cas back to the portal.

Back home.

As they got closer, the light of the portal seemed to startle Cas, and he started to shove Dean away. Dean had to put Cas down so he could take his green jacket off and place it over Cas’s head to calm him before he slowly continued to walk through the portal and into the bunker’s library where Jack, Rowena, Eileen, and Sam were waiting for them.

When they walked through, Dean quickly shushed them as he fell to his knees with Cas still in his arms, hidden under the jacket, and covering his ears at the sudden loud voices surrounding them.

Dean looked around at his family, all sharing the same worried glances knowing they were on the same page. Cas’s welcome home party would be pushed back until further notice.

Cas didn’t cry. His expression didn’t change much at all. All Cas did was sit or lay on Dean’s bed with the lights off. All but the desk light. It was an old lightbulb, so the light wasn’t a bright white like the rest of the place. Instead, it illuminated a soft golden glow against the wall.

Cas squinted at it at first, blinking so inhumanly at it, until all Cas did was stare at it. Whenever Dean made any move to turn it off or even just get near the lamp, Cas made a little whine at the back of his throat.

Little noises were the most Dean can get out of Cas. At least it brought him a little relief. It meant Cas could see him at that moment.

Cas still did that rapid talking or singing whenever it was a little bit too quiet. It made Dean wonder if Cas knew he was out of the Empty. Especially during those times when he would stare right past him, unblinking with cold eyes.

It was only the end of the second week when Dean broke down.

[continue under the cut or on AO3]

He didn’t mean to. He was trying so damn hard to keep it together, especially in front of Cas, but one night he just lost it. He can blame the lack of booze in his system, or as he wants, he can blame Sam, who came up to him about a stupid case. It pissed him off more than it should have. The fact that Sam even believed for a second that he would leave the bunker while Cas was like-well the way he was, just gave him enough of an excuse to raise his voice at someone.

Eileen had to step in and tell him to cool off.

Dean stormed off without a glance back and went to his room. He changed into his pajamas and climbed into bed beside Cas. He laid on his stomach as he wrapped one arm over the top of Cas’s waist, scooting close enough so that he could rest his head on Cas’s shoulder. He then opened his mouth to wish him goodnight just like every night, but something in Dean just broke.

He felt the pressure rise up his throat as he tried to hide his face into the familiar body beside him, but the sob still came.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry it took me so long to go get you. Fuck, Cas, please.” Dean took a shaky breath, sniffling as he reached to hold Cas’s hand closer to him. “We missed- I...I missed you. I missed you so much, Cas.” Dean brought Cas’s hand up to his lips and kissed the knuckles before letting the hand rest by his head. His eyes closed as he sighs, “I love you. So come back to me, okay?"

The only response Dean got was a squeeze of the hand, which was enough hope for the future, and more than Dean could have ever asked for at that moment.

As the days went on, Cas didn’t change. Literally and figuratively. He was still an angel, so there was no need for him to shower or brush his teeth, but Dean swore that Cas’s facial hair was growing, so he liked shaving him at least once a week. Cas seemed to like it by the humming noise he made.

They did learn a couple of things as the days went on.

One, peace and quiet are not what they strive for.

It only brought Cas anxiety, and his humming or singing became much louder and more desperate. They fixed that problem with a Bluetooth speaker constantly playing music in the background, a playlist Jack made mixed in with a playlist Jack helped Dean make. It made the humming stop, and Cas started to roll over in bed. He even sat back against the headboard with his eyes closed a few times.

A month after Cas got back, Dean's phone died in the middle of the night, and the silence must have gotten to him. He covered his ears while he started muttering to himself again. Dean woke up and pulled Cas to his chest while softly sing to him in his still half-asleep phase. He didn’t know why that was his first instinct, but he went along with it cause it started to calm Cas down. Then, Cas held him back for the first time—tucking his head right under Dean's jaw and relaxing.

Dean tried not to stiffen at the touch; if he were honest with himself, he would admit he was trying not to cry because he was busy singing. Busy, not wanting to disrupt this moment.

That night Dean sang all night long until Jack checked on them in the early hours and connected his phone.

Two, always have a light source on.

The lamp was the first one they had. Cas constantly wanted it on, but it bothered Dean all the time when he wanted to sleep. So they bought a cool starlight projector, Sam’s idea, that kept the light on the cement ceiling and not on Dean’s face. Cas seemed to enjoy it as he laid on his back, watching it all night, letting Dean curl up on his side as he slept through the night.

Three, never leave Cas alone.

Nobody wanted to leave Cas alone for more than a minute if they could help it. So they made plans to keep him company at all hours of the day. Of course, they weren’t crowding him. They all came in one by one, except for Dean, who would say, “This is my room. I get to come and go as I damn well please.”

Sam liked to sit by Cas's side and talk nerd like they usually would while cleaning his guns or doing research to help another hunter. He would even pause during the one-way conversation to give Cas some time to answer or try to imagine what Cas would say in that situation. Sam was always calm, wanting to keep it as normal as possible while Cas just stared at him, sometimes his eyebrows knitted together, and Dean had to excuse himself as he felt his chest tighten up.

Eileen sat by his side and watched shows she liked while she talked to Cas out loud and signed so he could hear her voice. Even then, she didn’t talk much. Instead, she let the laptop do the talking as she pets Cas’s hair while sitting on the chair by the bed.

Jack came in the most next to Dean. He liked reading to him or talking about how his skills as the new God have improved thanks to Amara.

"Dad, I hope you'll be proud of me." Jack once whispered to Cas, who was having a bad day, checking out more than usual as he stared off into the distance. Eyes wide and almost screaming.

It was almost the end of the second month when another big mile-stone happened.

Jack was lying in bed with Cas while Dean was at his desk, cleaning his guns obsessively again. Jack was reading him a book he bought during his recent trip to the bookstore with Eileen, it was a Star Wars story.

Jack was getting into the book as he read slower but louder during a big fight scene. He got so excited that he even jumped up and looked back at Cas, "Did you hear that, Dad? He won!"

Cas smiled back at him- a genuine smile- and Dean almost dropped the piece of metal in his hand while Jack froze, his shoulders tightening up while he scrunched up his lips as if trying to hold back his cry.

Instead, he quietly composed himself as he asked in a shaky voice, "You want me to read the rest?"

Cas only blinked at him, keeping the slight smile, and Jack took it as a yes. Jack sat beside him again with a big smile plastered on his face, wiping his eyes every other word, as he rested his head on Cas's shoulder to continue reading. Dean didn’t miss when Cas tilted his head down to rest his cheek on Jack’s hair.

He had to excuse himself again.

After that day, Cas slowly started to open up a little more.

Once Dean woke up with Cas out of bed. Dean was already in full panic mode, his shoes on the wrong feet and jacket inside out as he called out for Sam.

Then just as quick as the panic came, relief flooded him when he found Cas in the kitchen trying to make coffee. He turned towards Dean and gave him the smallest of smiles, but it filled Dean with such solace that he just dragged himself to Cas’s space. Dean held his arms open to press Cas into him, and without a second thought, Cas fell right into him as if it was an everyday normal occurrence.

That was the start of Cas now being up and around the bunker. It was like when a baby starts crawling, everyone keeping tabs on the baby’s first steps, except this baby was an eon old celestial being.

The library, Dean’s room, the Dean-cave, and the kitchen were Cas’s favorite places just to sit. He always had Dean’s headphones on, softly playing music, just in case it went quiet, and it took a while for him to be able to walk around without those.

It was the sixth month when Cas wished Dean a goodnight first and then added, “I love you, Dean.”

Dean fought the lump in his throat, but Cas instantly pulled him in, his arms wrapped securely around him. He had so much he wanted to say to Cas just to hear his voice again, anything to listen to his voice again, but instead, he kisses Cas’s chest before saying, “I love you, too.”

Days came and went. Sometimes it seemed like Cas was getting better as he talked a little more, but then those days would come when he would just stare off into the stars on their ceiling. Not moving an inch or bothering to fake breath like he liked. Those days the music was a little louder, and Cas held on to Dean a little tighter.

“I don’t want to go back. Please,” Cas pleaded as he stared wide-eyed at the darkness in the corner of their room. As if he was having a nightmare with his eyes wide open. “Please don’t make me…I-I don’t want to be in the dark again!”

Dean took Cas’s face in between his hands to hold his gaze. Only talking when he knew Cas was seeing him. “It’s okay, Cas. I got you. Nobody’s taking you away from me ever again.”

“Promise?” Dean felt Cas’s grip at his shoulder, holding him with desperation.

“Promise.”

That’s how Cas became human.

The nightmares have him waking up screaming some days, but at least Cas knew he was safe from the Empty’s clutches.

He was going to live his human life being loved and taken care of, and Dean was happy to say he felt Cas was doing the same for him.

#i am reposting this fic i wrote in October cause i didn't realize all my suptober fics are kinda gone #and i really liked this one so here you go #i edited just a little but not a lot so sorry about mistakes if beta's wanna beta with me that would be dope #destiel #wormstachewrites #my writing #fic #deancas #destiel fic #dean saves cas from the empty #selective mutism castiel #cas deal with the trauma of the empty #castiel is scared of the dark #dean #cas

[muffindaddystyles]

Keep holding my hand.

Harry was in an emotionally abusive relationship before y/n, something happens that makes his insecurities float back.

Impetuous reel of dithery thoughts rapidly bustles on the wall, Harry stares at it blankly – he stares and stares and stares ..... yet it does nothing for what he wishes.

His stomach fills with acid and his mouth burns with foulness with each painful beat his heart gives realizing maybe this's the end ---- he doesn’t spare a glance to the dinner wafting off he cooked with much happiness looking forward to tonight.

Where did I went wrong?

Did I hurt her in any way? What if she didn’t like me popping up at her studio that day to remind her of tonight

Well Keat didn’t like it ..... She used to hate it Infact,

No! She’s not like keat —--

But, then why isn’t she picking your phone? She knew, promised and she still didn’t came tonight?

What if she’s sick? Fuck, then I should go to her.

He shuts his screaming conscience down, shoving the heels of his palm against his pop-sockets wearily to make him feel something --- to escape the hurt that’s looming around him, crushing and squeezing him to death.

He blows off the candles, melted to their base from being sorrowfully lit from three hours atleast --- mocking him and his sincerity.

You deserve this.

Why did y’think ye' deserved anybody’s love?

She doesn’t love you anymore --- just like keat....

The corners of his glossy eyes prickles with pearly tears and it drops down his clavicles, with blurry vision he dials her one last time and it goes straight to her voicemail alike past three hours.

Hiya, Y/N here! Leave a message ‘cos I mighty be busy or maybe lazyin' round the farthest corner of my home .......

He tosses and turns, does it manifold times --- his sleep betrays him too and he’s angry soaring with venom, if he could scream from a cliff and throw stones down the pound furiously he'd instead his eyes runs droopy.

His shuddering breath sulks to tranquillity, all he could hear’s a screech of wind that’s hitting the window and his guts.

His body jerks at the chirp of voice he’s oh so familiar with —- other days he'd be submerging in the honeyness of it but at the moment he bites down his wrist to keep him wrenching his empty stomach out.

“Happy anniversary, bub!” His brows clinches down into a grumblish frown and he presses his hand between his thighs turning his back upon hearing the careful steps treading in.

The creaking stalls and she stands at his doorway with heavy heart, her throat —-- uff her throat feels like as if someone punched it several times.

Not letting her tongue to utter any word —- anything that’d assure him and her, everything’s alright --- it’s not a big deal.

Ofcourse, it is!

Little things matters most to him – told you —- he .. — he told you himself and you hurt him, you hurt him just because you couldn’t stand to your boss.

She wanted it to be perfect for him, for them — winded up the work her boss hoarded on her mercilessly last minute demanding her to wrap it up in an hour --- felt giddy and motivated to do it speedily looking forward to their celebration. Bought his favourite chocolate moose cake standing in the line of his favourite bakery, since he doesn’t like any other flavour.

She stands at the side bed looking down at him, heartbreaking in million pieces seeing him torn, all teary cheeks and this stoic for the first time they’ve been dating.

“’M sorry -- I –- my boss trapped me and – ‘n I really wanted to call you —-- then it took me forever at your favourite bakery, I’m so sorry baby.” She rambles nebbish-ly and catches onto his shoulder when he tries to face away from her.

He mutters, “Forget bout it. Go back home ‘s getting late.” Though, his heart lurches forward to embrace her and shower her in kisses telling her “it’s totally fine.” And that “how bout we celebrate now,” but being an emotionally sensitive person has it's very cons and one of it is requiring space and time to recover for better thinking.

His eyes slips into abyss and he holds back a sniffle when he feels the mattress dip behind him, she sighs, coos in the softest voice she only keeps it for her lover, “Oh baby .... you’re my home.” She's well aware of the anxiety he goes through. He feels like everything crumbling but she's there to catch him and she rubs his back.

The many many reassurances he needs from his lovie to keep going for them, the praises for him for treating her like the most precious daffodil —- because he never got praised before; even though how much of the world’s luxuries he'd lay at his ex's feet was never assured that how much she loves him (because she never did).

Y/N would never want his insecurities to float back and sting his scars, she'd never want him to ever go through from what he did in past —-- to be used like a toy and manipulated, might sound weird and whumpy of her but she’d kill many dragons to keep him protected at any cost.

He sleeps with her body cocooning him from behind and his erratic breath syncs to her calm ones.

..

His dreams full of suffering, void and darkness violently clashing and swirling against eachother as the ugly creature takes Y/N away from him, leaving him in prison of his own pathetic head.

Fear of loss —- he fears loosing her and does it make him toxic? He was snubbed so many times – being told his behaviour was toxic that he’d hesitate before doing anything precisely very fondly caring —- but then Y/N came in his life and she'd tell him how much she appreciates him, how he’s like the best sundae in hot summer and he felt like she’s the sunshine he was waiting for in the never-ending rainy days.

Y/N stirs from her light sleep on hearing the broken whimpers, the valley of her chest moist as he cries into her and she cups his cheeks gazing down at him concerned, “What happened sunny .... baby talk to me ...” Her voice groggy and on verge of tearing.

She sits back a little with him still between her legs and wipes his tears away gently, “I’m so sorry ...” He mumbles –-- eyes bloodshot and she shakes her head pulling him closer, if she’d be able to cradle him in his lap she'd but apparently he’s too big.

Queasy hiccups, “f – fo'--... d —- dou...” sad sniffles and hiccups that tightens his chest.

She tenders his wobbly lip kissing his temple, “shhh. shhh, puppy I should be the one apologising yeah?”

“no .. I didn’t gave another thought before doubting --- that –-- that you’re about to leave, no person in right mind does this – I —-,” His body trembles with blue sobs.

“Harry ...” she tries to gain his attention and when he still doesn’t listen, “I know I don’t deserve y'n – ‘n maybe you don’t want me anymore —--” she raises it a bit, “Harry!” he falls quiet --- nibbling the corner of his cheek to hold back hiccups.

“Look at me puppy, yeah? Shh hold my hand and take a breather.” She smiles. Takes his sweaty hand and aligns his palm to her mouth for a deep kiss – then squeezes it.

“Keep holding it baby, keep holding my hand, you’re going to be fine --- we – see us here,” she points between them with gleamy eyes and he nods timidly wiping his nose with his sweater paw, “we are fine baby –- we are okay..”

How could someone be this dreamy? This gentle and sweet? What did I do to deserve my lovie?

“Better?” She inquires. Little worried that he'll fall back into rabbit hole and tucks his head under her chin, keeping him warm against her chest and he clutches the hem of her shirt nuzzling into her.

“Did you really think, I’d leave you and that on our first year anniversary? Sorry to tell you .... ‘m stitched to your hip for life time, there’s no exchange policy puppy how much you grump.”

She grins. Happy to earn a feeble chuckle from him and scratches his head, looping his curls around her fingers.

“I love you.” She startles when he speaks hoarsely after the longest time and it’s not like he's saying it for the first –-- but it still doesn’t fail to engulf her in warmth, so much of it.

“I love you too, you’re my only puppy and very loved one.” His eyes crinkles prettily at that and she kisses the tip of his nose.

“You want to rest? We could eat the dinner you dearly made for me and oh we got moose cake in fridge too, what a coincidence!” She giggles. The room fills with wet treacly noises of smoochy kisses she’s patching on his cheeks and his jaw.

Without a word he holds her finger and leads her to kitchen, she creates proud noises of “ooh!” and “ahh!” trying to sneak a glimpse from over his shoulder but he'd shoo her away as he heats the food; she gets out gorgeous smiles from him she cherishes so much.

“You did all of this for me?” She gasps sweetly, hand over heart to accentuate the love she's feeling and walks towards him when he nods timidly rubbing his socks feetsies one over the other.

His cheeks blazes peach and she giggles pinching them, “You’re so cute aren’t you?”

“Okay then. Let’s eat!” she claps her hands together and pecks his lips before pulling her chair beside him rather than opposite to him and his heart flutters at that --- each pore oozing with deep love for her and every insecurity and anxious ideas completely drains out of him when she pats his seat and wiggles in her own --- anticipated to taste what he made.

“Hmm. This tastes so good, H! Your hands are really magical, huh?” She passes him a smirk pecking each of his knuckle to make him feel better about himself and his lips quirks up softly, “Thank you – d’ya w'na umm eat the moose here o'in bed?” Her face beams at that, him speaking more than two words and looking forward to spend the night with her.

“On bed, please –-- would you like tea? Think ‘m running out of if —- proper jello ....” She cleans the table and raises her brows when he gazes her adorningly as she’s the nymphs of stary oceans.

He shakes his head, nose twitchy as she nudges him teasingly and he takes her off-guard --- hugging her by waist and kisses her soft tummy.

“Nothing just love you bleedin’ much.”

..

#wohooo #okay this was very unexpected #i might and mightyy not got distracted from studying and wrote this angsty piece #if i suffered youve to too #harry angst #harry styles angsty imagines #harry styles imagine #harry styles #cute harry #harry styles blurb #harry styles smut #harry smut #harry styles fanfiction #fluff #hsh #dom harry #naughty harry #harry styles one shots #harry styles fanfic #harry styles fic rec #harry styles x reader au #harry styles x y/n imagines #harry styles x y/n #harry styles x oc #harry styles x you

[jaskierswolf]

The Love We Have

Part 1/5 - AO3 - Next

Summary: Kaer Morhen has an old tradition in order to keep the witchers safe after the siege. Only witchers and their partners are allowed in the keep but Geralt is tired of parting with Jaskier over the winter so decides to invite him to Kaer Morhen... only he forgets to mention one tiny little detail.

Ship: Geraskier

Rating: T

Warnings: None?? Maybe... I'll add them later if I remember any.

(Written as a prompt that got way out of hand for @dani-dandelino and beta'd by @professorjaskier)

____

The path up the mountain was steep, treacherous and fucking cold. Jaskier felt himself slipping on the loose rocks underfoot. He yelped, ready to meet his maker but Geralt’s strong arms wrapped around his waist before he could hit the floor. It was all very reminiscent of a lover’s embrace.

One could only dream.

Geralt had been particularly stoic on the trek up The Killer, barely responding to even direct questions and grunting orders when they set up camp for the night, but there was none of their usual banter. Unfortunately, Jaskier’s fingers had been too frozen to pluck at his lute, leaving a deafening silence between them. To top it off Geralt was now glaring at him from across the campfire.

Jaskier sighed, stuffing his hands under his armpits, pulling his hood closer around his ears. “Geralt?”

Geralt’s eyes widened as he seemed to finally register their surroundings, and he let out a low hum.

“Have- have I done something wrong?”

The crease between Geralt’s brows deepened, his jaws clenching. “No.”

Jaskier rolled his eyes, scoffing haughtily. “Oh sure. Sure. So that’s why you’re acting all…” Jaskier trailed off, gesturing at Geralt’s direction with a flick of his wrist.

“Hmm.”

“Oh no. No, no, no. We are not doing this!” Jaskier tried to put his hands on his hips but the motion let a biting cold breeze into the thick woollen travelling coat that Geralt had insisted he buy for the journey to Kaer Morhen. “You’ve been grumpier than usual and honestly, I wasn’t sure that was possible. What’s going on, Geralt?”

Geralt let out a long heavy sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose. He wore a weary expression that Jaskier thought was utterly adorable; not that he would ever tell Geralt that. He’d learnt the hard way how much a witcher’s punch to the gut could hurt. Instead, he rested his chin on his knees and pouted at his friend. “Come on, Geralt, you invited me here. No pretending that we aren’t friends anymore.”

Geralt smiled faintly at that and then sighed once more. “I haven’t been honest with you.”

“About us being friends?” Jaskier laughed “I stopped caring about that years ago. Your actions speak louder than words, my dear.”

“Jaskier!”

Jaskier’s mouth snapped shut. He was barely able to conceal his gleeful smirk. This felt like coming home after the stone-cold silences of the last few days. It almost warmed the chill in his bones; almost. It would take a veritable miracle at this stage to fend off the frost bite.

“Done?” Geralt growled and Jaskier nodded. Pressing his lips together. “We have an old tradition at Kaer Morhen, ever since…” Geralt trailed off with a growl. “It’s to protect us, our home.”

Jaskier raised his eyebrow, tongue flicking out to lick his lip, a habit he’d picked up to prevent himself from interrupting Geralt. His witcher often took longer to find the right words, and Jaskier had learnt it was better to be patient.

“Only significant others are allowed.”

Jaskier blinked and Geralt’s words hung heavy in the air.

“I’m. I’m sorry, what?” he gaped.

Significant other?

“You heard me, bard.”

Jaskier let out a nervous laugh, wringing his hands in his lap. “But. but we’re. we’re not?”

Oh, if only they were.

“I know that.”

“Then why?!” Jaskier wasn’t proud of the way his voice squeaked, jumping two octaves.

“I. I trust you.”

Jaskier scoffed. After nearly a decade of friendship he sincerely hoped that the witcher trusted him. He had been absolutely delighted when Geralt had extended the invitation to his elusive home in the mountains. He hated leaving Geralt over winter, the cold making his dorms at Oxenfurt seem even lonelier… but to pretend they were dating?

It was a little too close to the truth for comfort.

He was surprised Geralt had asked him at all. The witcher rarely admitted they were friends. Jaskier couldn’t imagine he’d be particularly thrilled about pretending to be lovers, and he had a brilliant imagination!

Unless, of course, Jaskier had gotten the wrong end of the stick. He could be jumping to conclusions. Geralt probably hadn’t meant for them to pretend to be lovers at all. It was just a pre-warning that Jaskier might not be entirely welcome until he earned the other witcher’s trust. They were breaking the rules. That was it.

“So…” he trailed off, not knowing how to voice his question. Geralt, helpfully grunted in response. Jaskier rolled his eyes and tried again. “Are you nervous about breaking the rules?”

Geralt frowned, that adorable little crease on his forehead deepening and Jaskier yearned to smooth it out with a press of his thumb, but alas the witcher remained grumpy and unobtainable. “They won’t know,” he huffed.

If Jaskier had been eating or drinking at that moment, then he certainly would have choked on it or spat it out all over the floor in his shock. As it was, he almost fell off the log he was perching on. “I’m sorry?”

“They’ll make assumptions. We won’t correct them.”

Jaskier was sure that his jaw would never leave the floor. “We. we won’t?”

“No.”

“Alrighty…”

An awkward silence fell over the camp. The crackling of the fire suddenly sounded louder than any tavern in Oxenfurt. Jaskier could hear every breath like a hurricane blowing through the camp, the howling of distant wolves clawing down his spine. What felt like hours was probably only seconds when the silence became too much to bear.

“Oh ho ho, no. No, no, no. No. I’m sorry. What the fuck, Geralt?”

Geralt sighed and pressed his fingers to his forehead. “I should have asked sooner.”

“Do you even know what you’re asking of me?” Jaskier peered suspiciously at the witcher, wringing his hands in his lap and flexing his fingers. He desperately wanted his lute, his notebook… something, anything.

“Just don’t correct them?”

Jaskier snorted. “Just don’t correct them?” he asked incredulously “Oh sure, it’s that simple. Geralt, my dear, you’re asking me to pretend I’m in love with you.”

Jaskier barely managed to conceal his flinch.

Pretend.

Hah!

If only it were that simple. He was a pretty decent actor, most graduates of Oxenfurt were, but to act like he was only pretending to be in love with Geralt? That would be perhaps his toughest role to date.

And it would fucking hurt. Especially since Geralt hadn’t seemed to have realised he would have to do the same.

“Fuck.”

Jaskier tilted his head at the witcher, brushing his fringe from his eyes, his hand shivering from the cold. The penny had apparently dropped; finally.

He smirked, “Well, I was thinking we’d only have to kiss but if you insist?”

Geralt growled and pushed him onto the floor.

____

That night had been a particularly awkward one. The biting cold meant that Jaskier had to curl up into Geralt’s side to prevent himself from freezing to death. Geralt would normally wrap his arms around Jaskier in his sleep, making it more comfortable for both of them. But when he woke Geralt was lying rigid next to him; only staying as close as absolutely necessary and nothing more.

They ate their breakfast in silence, with even Jaskier’s normal chatter and noise absent. Jaskier was starting to get really sick of silences but he knew that Geralt needed a chance to process. The witcher would only blow up in his face if he said something now. It was a struggle for both of them. Jaskier was always desperate to fill the silence. He never enjoyed being left alone with his own thoughts and chattering about everything and nothing helped to calm the anxiety inducing void, and yet he knew that Geralt sometimes needed time. He would normally be scribbling away in his notebook, or carving patterns into the dirt with his boots, anything to keep busy, keep moving. Instead, he tapped out silent lute fingerings on his leg beneath the cloak and chewed on his lip, only stopping when he tasted the sharp tang of blood.

It was only after they had packed up camp and been walking for a few minutes that Geralt finally spoke, seemingly calmed by Roach’s reins in his hand.

“We should plan.”

Jaskier, still shivering under his cloak, snorted; a cloud swirling in front of his face like he was some kind of draconid. “Plan?”

“Hmm.”

“Pray tell me, dear witcher, what are we planning?”

Geralt grunted, gesturing between them, a trace of a blush on his cheeks which utterly delighted Jaskier. The blush meant that Geralt could only mean one thing, and Jaskier was having a ball!

His grumpy, allergic to feelings, witcher wanted to plan how they were going to convince a keep full of witchers that they were not only dating but seriously involved. Geralt wanted to talk about it. That was a first. Perhaps the witcher was treating this like just another contract to prepare for. That thought made Jaskier’s heart clench in his chest.

Just another contract.

Fuck.

He plastered a bright smile on his face before Geralt could notice his inner turmoil and clapped his friend on the back. “What’s there to plan?” he asked cheerfully, voice full of fake camaraderie. “We’re pretending to be in love, should be easy! I’m a bard, a troubadour, a graduate of the famed Oxenfurt academy!”

“Jaskier, shut up.”

Jaskier gaped and shoved Geralt in the chest. “You wanted to talk, Geralt!”

“We need boundaries.”

Jaskier’s heart sank and his smile faltered. “Right, yes, of course. I was. I was joking, last night, when I said…”

“I know.”

“We probably will have to kiss though.” he mumbled, his cheeks were a blazing fire and he probably resembled a tomato. Hopefully Geralt would just think he was cold, which he really really was. Honestly, he was starting to think that he might never be warm again. What was heat anyway? He swallowed, digging his nails into his palm. “Maybe just on the cheek. Think your family will buy that?” Geralt shook his head. “Well… bollocks.”

Geralt chuckled and Jaskier looked up at him with a sheepish smile. Geralt actually had the decency to look apologetic for the mess he’d gotten them into. “It’ll be just enough to convince them, nothing more.”

Nothing more. Of course it was nothing more. These were the boundaries that Geralt was talking about. He didn’t want Jaskier to think it was anything more than an act. Well, message received loud and clear! He sighed and ran his hands through his hair. He should be ecstatic, finally a chance to kiss Geralt… but it wasn’t enough. It wasn’t what he wanted.

It wasn’t real.

Geralt grunted, his own hands were buried in Roach’s mane as they walked side by side up the perilous mountain. He paused suddenly and began fussing with Roach’s saddlebags. Jaskier wrapped his arms around himself, shuffling from one foot to another to keep moving. He had to keep moving or he might freeze to death. He could already feel his toes going numb and the perpetual stinging in his fingers. Oh he was definitely getting frostbite. He watched Geralt for a few moments. The witcher’s shoulders were tense and his jaw was clenched. Jaskier sighed and placed a hand on Geralt’s arm, enjoying the soft warmth that radiated from the witcher, letting it seep into his frozen bones.

“Do. Do you want to practice?”

“What?”

“Kissing,” Jaskier said with a flick of his wrist. “You want boundaries, so let’s practice. That way we’ll know what we’re comfortable with”

“You want to kiss me?” Geralt asked, brow furrowed and arms crossed in front of his chest.

Jaskier scoffed at Geralt’s emotionally constipated antics. He was nearly at his limit with stupid witchers and he hadn’t even reached Kaer Morhen yet. Maybe this whole thing was a bad idea.

Jaskier poked Geralt in the chest. “You suggested it!” he pointed out “and I’m never going to refuse the opportunity to kiss such a gorgeous person. You, dear witcher, are no exception!” He hoped that Geralt would be fooled by his nonchalant flirting. He did this all the time in taverns and courts all around the Continent and Geralt had witnessed it on many occasions. This was just what Jaskier did, nothing out of the ordinary… nothing to worry about.

He swallowed, a bubble of fear rising up in his chest and he couldn’t calm his racing heart. Oh gods, this was really far too close to the truth.

Geralt just gave a hum but let go of Roach’s reins. He gripped Jaskier’s shoulder and cocked his head, giving Jaskier the fondest of smiles. “Last chance to back out, bard.”

Jaskier grinned, raising his chin. He had a stubborn streak that would serve him well here. He never could say no to a challenge. “Just kiss me, you coward.”

A lie. Geralt was no coward. If anyone were it would be Jaskier. He couldn’t even tell Geralt the true depth of his feelings. They were concealed in songs for the whole Continent to hear but he couldn’t tell the one person that really ought to know. It was pathetic, pining over his best friend for years and years instead of moving on or just… admitting the truth?

Luckily Jaskier’s joke seemed to break the tension between them. Geralt hummed and cupped his cheek with more tenderness than he’d expected. Chapped lips pressed against his, warm and gentle as Geralt’s thumb stroked his cheek, calloused fingers brushing against the stubble that was beginning to prickle up through his skin. Jaskier wasn’t sure where to put his hands. He yearned to cup the nape of Geralt’s neck, to pull his lover closer and never let go. In a more passionate affair, his hands would land on his partner’s arse, squeezing cheekily as the kiss deepened.

Jaskier wanted to cry. It was all so sweet, so perfect, and none of it was real. This was his fate. Like a character in one of his ballads, a flower doomed to wither away without the heart of his beloved.

But this was Geralt.

This was his friend.

He settled for holding onto Geralt’s waist, his fingers digging into the wool of Geralt’s cloak. The kiss was over all too soon, leaving his head spinning. He felt breathless, like all his soul had been poured into the kiss. He pulled back from Geralt’s embrace in a hopeless attempt to calm his beating heart, but it was too late. The damage was done. With a single kiss Geralt had ruined Jaskier for all other love. Before it had been pitiful yearning but now…

Gods…

He was utterly done for.

His fingers itched for his quill. Oh, the poems and ballads he could pull from just a single kiss. A buttercup crushed under the paws of a great wolf as he roamed through the forests. Okay, that one might be a tad obvious. He preferred to at least try and hide in plain sight.

A dandelion perhaps?

Geralt would never need to know that Jaskier had almost chosen a different flower as his namesake.

“Jaskier?”

Jaskier blinked and looked up at Geralt. Normally Jaskier was able to pick up the most minute changes in Geralt’s expression and his eyes were usually an open book. The witcher’s face gave away nothing and it was bloody infuriating.

“That…. that went well?” he stammered, pulling at a loose thread in his cloak.

“Hmm. We’ll be fine,” Geralt turned from him, looking more and more like the Butcher of Blaviken of old, and less like Jaskier’s darling White Wolf. “It’s not long now. We should get going.”

And get going they did.

#the witcher #geraskier #fake dating #geralt x jaskier #geralt/jaskier #kaer morhen #wolfie's witcher writing

[sleepystarsiri]

Bad Sans Poly w/Error

I was given a prompt to ramble about and... Ended with a drabble instead of a small ramble...

A drabble of 2536 words... Written over the course of 11+ hours. Fun!!

————

Error was unsure of the BSP, happy for them, but unsure why he was jealous. Yes, he was single, but... He was happy being alone. He didn't have to risk another relationship ending by being glitched out if he was single...

He lost his first love that way. So why... Why when he was with the others did he feel like he was going to cry when he saw their soft, gentle affections toward each other? It hurt... It made his chest ache and his sockets sting with tears.

He ignored it, pushing the emotions down whenever they surfaced. He could sense the confused, wary looks from Nightmare, but he ignored them. He started to distance himself, holing himself away in the Anti-Void. He barely had the energy to keep up his job, but he managed to.

Instead of visiting the castle to check in, like he usually did, he just laid around in his section of the Anti-Void, bundled up in blankets and watching UnderNovela. That was how Nightmare and the gang found him when they got worried enough to break the unspoken rule of staying out of Error's 'home'.

It was... A chaotic mess, not the normal neat area Error preferred.

Error was asleep in his beanbag chair, curled into a small ball, wrapped in his blanket. He looked terrible. His sockets had bags under them and his scarf was messy, frayed and stained with chocolate.

Concerned, Cross reached out to touch Error's cheek before the others could stop him. Instead of crashing, like they expected, he nuzzled into the hand, purring sleepily. Cross stroked the bags beneath Error's sockets and Error yawned and slowly opened his sockets. His eyelights were hazy and unfocused until he blinked...

Then he gave a glitched screech and jumped backward, tumbling over the back of his beanbag chair.

Cue a freakout and panicked apologies from Cross... Followed by a pause as they saw what was in the beanbag chair. Error had been cuddling up to hand-made dolls of the BSP. He glitched, sputtering, and made his strings yank the dolls up to the tangle of strings and dolls that made up the 'ceiling'.

He hissed at the poly, glitching and blushing vibrantly. He tugged his scarf up to hide his face, emotions all over the place. Embarrassment, panic, affection, love, sadness, pain, anxiety.

Nightmare’s confused, shocked expression morphed into one of realization at Error’s emotions. He stared at Error with a wide socket and Error caught his gaze, tensing up. Shame flooded Error’s emotions as he looked away, his glitches increasing in number.

“Error...” Nightmare said gently, his voice cutting through the air of the Anti-Void, and the glitch tensed up.

“I d-don’t want t-to taaa-talk about it, N-Nightmare.” Error growled lightly, his voice glitching more than it had before.

“Error, we’re going to talk about it. One way or another. You look horrible. When was the last time you washed your scarf? When was the last time you left the Anti-Void?” Nightmare growled back, stalking toward him as his tendrils flicked angrily. Error winced slightly at his approach, feeling the weight of his anger, his concern.

“Yyyy-Yes-Yesterdayyy.” He grumbled, curling up and tucking himself into his coat. “I’m fff-fine. D-dd-don’t need ttt-to talk about iiii-it.”

“Error.” Nightmare’s tone went gentle as he knelt in front of the glitch. “Please. We need to talk about this.”

The glitch just twitched, shaking his head. He growled faintly, twitching violently, before he exhaled a soft mist of shimmering blue, red, yellow, and green. It dissipated moments after he exhaled it.

“I ddd-don’t want to ttt-ta-talk about it.” He muttered irritably, curling up tighter. He pressed his face into his knees, trying to remain calm.

“Error, please.” Nightmare repeated gently, reaching out and holding a hand toward him. Error glitched out, then muttered mutinously, but gently placed his hand into Nightmare’s. He fizzled at the touch, then calmed. It always happened when he was awake, if he didn’t outright crash. Nightmare’s lack of a traditional Soul meant his touch wasn’t as overwhelming or as painful as everyone else’s. “Thank you.”

“Sss-still don’t want-ant to talk a-abou-out it.” His voice glitched out a bit before he sighed and closed his sockets. “...But… F-fine. I’ll ttt-talk.”

“Thank you.” Nightmare repeated, clearly relieved. “Come on, Error. Let’s get you into clean clothing, fed something other than chocolate, and into a comfortable place.”

He gently pulled Error up, the glitch swaying slightly on his feet before he steadied himself. He winced and reached up to rub his skull, sleeve sliding down and revealing scratches and burns up and down his arm. He didn’t really care, since he usually was covered in scratches and scrapes. Ink’s paints were a bitch to deal with…

Nightmare gently grabbed his arm, pushing his sleeve up and Error blinked, eyelights hazy, before they focused and he looked at the scrapes.

“Oooh-ohhh… Ink caaa-caught me. Fresh-ssshhhh had to come ggg-get me.” Error said, reaching up to rub his face tiredly. Nightmare narrowed his socket, doubtful of his explanation, but not wanting to call him out. “Don’t give mmm-me that look, Nnnn-Nightmare. I’m not an iiii-idiot. I know whaaaa-at they look like, wh-when paired with my sss-state. You can asss-ask Fresh if you dddd-d-don’t believe me.”

He rubbed his arm, glitching as he tried to heal it. It healed a bit, then glitched back to how it was. He grumbled slightly, squinting at his arm in annoyance.

“...Alright, I believe you.” Nightmare sighed before he gently healed Error’s arms. The other glitched a bit at the influx of magic, then settled. He was trying to ignore the concerned (and suspicious) stares of the others. Killer’s stare was the most suspicious, but he was slowly starting to realize what was wrong.

“Glitchy.” Killer called lightly, firmly, and Error slowly looked over, staring toward where Killer was. His glasses were nowhere to be seen, so he was hard-pressed to see anything, especially not that far away. He made a glitched sound of acknowledgement. “You’re depressed, aren’t you?”

“Whaaa-aat Sans isn’t?” He quipped back, rolling his eyelights, but nodded slowly, making Killer’s sockets widen a bit.

“Are you depressed because of us?” Killer clarified and Error shrugged a bit, the reaction noncommittal. Killer rubbed his face, sighing loudly. “Are you depressed because we’re so affectionate in front of you?”

Error shrugged again, closing his sockets. He swayed in place, trying to stay on his feet. Nightmare moved and scooped Error up bridal-style, making him glitch out and nearly crash. He clung to his scarf, curling his fingers hard into the fabric. It took him a few moments to calm down, blinking away the error signs that popped up in his sockets.

“It’s not because of us, per se.” Nightmare told Killer and the others, adjusting his grip on Error and opening a portal to the castle. They walked through, the portal closing after the last of them was through. “Error, don’t fall asleep now, you need to clean yourself up and change… And eat.”

Nightmare gently tapped Error’s cheek with a tendril, but he growled and lightly nipped it, earning a startled moan from Nightmare. It took a moment to process and Error crashed while Nightmare flushed. The others started laughing at the two, while Nightmare huffed and continued to walk. He put Error down on a bed before backing off. Moments later, Error rebooted and his face flushed brilliantly.

“Sss-so-sorry-” He stammered to Nightmare, tugging his scarf over his face. Nightmare blinked, then started laughing.

“You really do have it bad for us, don’t you?” Nightmare sighed and Error hissed at him, glitching out wildly, then forced himself to calm. “Oh, hush, don’t get so defensive.”

Error just growled at him, carefully rolling to his feet. He staggered a bit, then caught himself. He blinked a few times, then squeezed his sockets closed, shaking his head wildly to clear it.

“Uuu-ugh. Ffff-fuck-fucking Voices...” He rubbed his head, then glared at Nightmare, crossing his arms and trying to ignore his embarrassed flush. “And ss-sh-shut up. I don’t waa-want to cause aaaa-any ripples.”

“Ripples?” Cross piped up and Error nodded, motioning vaguely between the members of the poly. Cross blinked, then deadpanned. “Wow, you’re more oblivious than I was.”

Error narrowed his sockets at him, growling lightly, and Cross rolled his eyelights.

“You’re an idiot if you think we don’t want you to join, stars, glitchy, we’ve been dropping hints for AGES!” Killer complained, throwing himself onto the bed, pouting at Error, who glitched in surprise.

“W-what?” He sputtered, confused, and Dust snorted, amused at him.

“Go get a shower and we’ll talk after, while you eat.” Dust ordered, Horror staring sternly at Error and nodding sharply, firmly. Error knew that stare, it meant he was to obey… Or Horror would bodily force him to do so.

Error sighed and nodded, then slowly made his way toward the bathroom to get a shower. He paused to take his scarf off, stroking the fabric nervously. Dust moved over and gently took it, knowing how it felt to be attached to a scarf.

“Go shower, I’ll wash this myself.” Dust told Error, who nodded, then headed into the bathroom. He was a bit unsteady on his feet, but he managed. He closed the bathroom door, then stripped and carefully headed into the glass-walled shower. He closed it and turned the water on, huffing softly. The walls were made of frosted glass, so he was only a vague dark blur behind the glass.

He stepped carefully under the stream of water and began to wash his body, careful of all of the injuries littering it. He was more injured from Ink than he’d let on, and didn’t want to let on. He heard the bathroom door open and paused to glance over, not that he could see. But… It was just one of them getting the clothes Error had left piled in the middle of the bathroom.

Error focused back on cleaning himself before he cut the water off and opened the door to the shower. He leaned out, grabbing a towel and pulling it back into the shower. He dried himself off, then wrapped the towel around his hips, walking toward the door. He caught sight of himself in the mirror and stopped, turning to stare at the long, irritated red gash across his torso. It went from his right shoulder to his left hip. He sighed, reaching up to touch it.

“Fff-fucking squid. Stupid f-fucking-ing Soulless abomination...” He growled lightly, pressing his fingers against the gash, scratching harshly at it. That was a mistake and he clapped his hand over his mouth, rushing to the sink. He doubled forward, spitting and gagging into it. The noise made the others rush in.

They were met by the sight of Error coughing and spitting blood into the sink, a long gash across his torso trailing vivid red down black bones. He groaned, bracing himself on the counter as he slowly recovered, chest heaving from his coughing and gagging fit.

“F-fuckkk-king abomination… N-need to figure out w-where the hell his c-coding core i-is-sss...” He huffed to himself, then pressed a hand to the gash, focusing. His torso began to glitch, dark pixels began to slot themselves into the gash, sealing it and hiding it from view. He sighed in relief, then wiped the blood from his mouth and chin, spitting the last of it into the sink. He washed it out, then turned to leave, only to pause at the sight of the others.

Oh. Fuck.

“...Error. What the fuck was that?” Nightmare tried to ask it gently, but his voice was shocked and confused.

“...Eh-hhhh. Geno isn’t m-mmm-my bro. I was Gee-Geno. I’m ffff-from an alternate tttt-timel-line, a darker o-one.” He tried to explain, scratching at the back of his skull. He was trying to ignore the lack of clothing on his part. “Iii-it’s hard to expla-aaaain.”

“...Sooo- You’re wary of being with us because you’re still in love with Reaper?” Killer asked blankly and Error glitched and shook his head.

“Oh, n-nooo. No. I haven’t l-lov-loved Reaper since I beee-became Error. I los-ssst my memories from-mmm before for a looo-long time… So the o-only-yyyy emotion I feel for h-hiii-him is fond remembrance fo-ooor a past love.” Error clarified, shrugging and lowering his hand so it dangled by his side. He shuffled slowly toward the door. “I neeee-eed clothes...”

“Huh? Oh, right! S-sorry!” Cross sounded confused before the group shuffled out. Dust left a pile of clothes, topped by Error’s scarf, on the counter. Error closed the bathroom door and dropped the towel, pulling the clothes on. Ah, the usual ‘Sans’ outfit… He hated it. At least he had his scarf. He put his scarf on, tucking his face into it, before he shuffled out.

He sat down on the edge of the bed, twisting his scarf around, in his fingers.

“So… Why are you wary of being with us, Error? If not because of holding feelings for someone else?” Dust asked, leaning against the wall and playing with a knife he’d stolen from Killer.

“...’s because ya lost… Yer first love… When ya turned ta Error?” Horror asked slowly, tilting his head as he looked at Error. He looked startled at being read that easily, but he nodded.

“Yyyy-yeah...” He sighed, closing his sockets as he rubbed his face. “Thaaaa-at’s one reason.”

He flopped backward onto the bed, throwing an arm over his sockets.

“What are the other reasons?” Dust was now interested, moving over to sit on the bed near him. He leaned down to stare at him, looking curious.

“...Ttt-tou-touch.” Error moved, staring blankly up at Dust. “T-touch-ch hurts. Nightmare ddd-doesn’t-n’t have a traditional Soul-lll so it doesn’t h-hurt as much… Nor i-issss it as overwhelming...”

“Cross could touch ya earlier.” Horror pointed out and Error shrugged.

“Ddd-don’t know why… Uuuu-usually I crash from tou-uuuuch.” Error stated, then froze as he felt a hand on his. His sockets filled with error signs, but he blinked them away. “Ow.”

He turned his head to see who was holding his hand. It was Dust. He stared, shocked, then turned his hand to gently hold Dust’s. He marveled at it, a static-y purr starting up in his chest. He couldn’t help it… Even with the pain, he was touching someone aside from Nightmare!

Sure, it was a bit painful, but nothing he couldn’t handle, nothing that he didn’t deal with daily. The glitching hurt sometimes… But… Stars, he missed touching people…

Nightmare smiled, looking away as his tendrils swayed happily. The happiness Error felt was clear on the glitch’s face and in his aura. He suddenly snapped his tendrils out, catching Error and keeping him from pouncing on Dust.

“Error, don’t jump the gun, you’ll crash. Small touches are the only thing we know are okay, we don’t know how you’d react to hugging, let alone cuddling.” Nightmare chided gently and Error slumped in his hold.

“I mmm-miss being able to-oooo hold, hug, ccc-cud-cuddle, etc others…” Error sighed, looking down.

“Baby steps, Error, baby steps.” Nightmare reassured, gently stroking Error’s skull with one hand. Error sighed and nodded slowly.

[twinklelilstarkey]

hiii can you do angst 3 with nolan please 🥰

"You shouldn't be here." - Nolan Patrick

It has been a rough week. You feel like all your movements consist of you crawling in and out of your bed. Your pillow is constantly wet with your tears and your chest is permanently tightening in the void of nothing but heartbreak.

You don’t exactly need to leave your apartment since all of your classes are still online, and your cabinets are still full enough for you to survive for a little bit longer. So, honestly, if you were to leave, it would be out of a spontaneous decision, something you’re sure won’t happen any soon.

The only bit of fresh air you’ve caught in the last few days was when you opened your bathroom window to get your shower’s steam out of the small room, yet other than that... just nothing.

Today marks 7 days since you have broken up with your boyfriend of a year and a half, Nolan.

The reason behind your break up is a complete result of the snowball effect. It all started with small fights which always ended with you apologizing and him sort of forgiving you, and with small fight after small fight, a whole shouting argument was bad enough to mark the end of your relationship.

Nolan said so much, that he now admits that not even 1% of it is true, but it was enough to break your heart and force you to walk away.

It was definitely a break up. It was no Hollywood movie argument with an open ending in which the main characters never actually say the words. You two said it, and you two agreed on ending everything and cutting all tights right there. Right in the middle of his apartment.

You feel miserable and you’ve caught yourself trying to call him at crazy hours of the night a few times already. You never ended up actually doing it, but there was a time that it was close enough for it to ring one time - not even enough for it to even reach his phone.

Your week consists in at least 3 full days of classes, which does sound awful, but you feel like everything just gets worse when you’re left to stay by yourself and with your reality. All because even though you’re not listening to what your teachers are saying, you’ve got at least some sort of noise to occupy your mind.

But, god, nights are the worst. Looking out of your window to stare at the city view is not the same anymore, having sweet or salty sneaky snacks is not the same anymore, watching your favorite show under all your blankets is not the same anymore. You’re suffering so much that you can’t find anything even slightly enjoyable.

Now, Nolan, on the other hand, has to leave his apartment. He has to work, go to the ice rink, and practice every morning. And, in reality, no matter how much his coaches are screaming in his face, he just can’t find a way to fix whatever he’s doing wrong.

For the first days, no friend of his knew about the breakup, so, they just thought he was just going a little crazy over a bad hangover or whatever. But that didn’t last long. It only took TK to ask him if the offer for the double date still stood for everyone to notice.

His silence and serious expression made his best friend frown and even stop what he was doing. He couldn’t believe he was seeing.

Travis honestly thought that Nolan hadn’t heard him for a good few seconds, but as soon as he went to make sure, Nolan just stood up and left.

He wasn’t reacting like you were. He wasn’t crying every time his brain brought him back to you, he was just staring into nothing and letting his mind work free through it. Battling his feelings away.

You still watched the Flyers’ games, even though he wasn’t spending much time on the ice, and you still wore his jersey like any other night.

Sleeping after those nights were even harder. Today is one of them.

You turn on your bed, eyeing the large window beside your bed and all the lights of the city you’re blessed to see from high above, and your mind soon travels to all the memories you own and protect.

All the times you cuddled with a sleeping or just sleepy Nolan after good or rough games while staring at the calming night. All the times you enjoyed late mornings in bed, talking about life and laughing at absolutely everything.

A soft grin plays over your lips at the light-hearted memories but at the same time, it breaks at the realization it is not your truth anymore.

You sniffle softly and blink your tears away, bringing your hands to your warm cheeks to wipe down the wetness you’ve grown so familiar to.

A soft knock on your front door fills your apartment and you quickly sit up in surprise. It’s 3 am.

It’s way too late for your landlord to come over now, right? Sinks don’t usually get fixed at this time of night... Right?

The knock repeats itself and you sigh. It won’t hurt to check.

You stand up from your bed, ignoring the mess you’re leaving behind, and you bring your hood over your head. On your way down the hallway, you wipe your face one more time to make sure that no tears are to be shown to anyone, and as soon as you’re done, you’re standing by the door.

You unlock it slowly and Nolan feels a sudden wave of cold hit the walls of his stomach as anxiety becomes evident to him, again.

The door opens slowly, creaking slightly in the silence of the night, and your eyes meet up at the same time.

You feel frozen in place while Nolan is just lost for words. He hasn’t seen you for more than he has ever before and that made his body almost go into shock.

“Wha-” You try to ask but your voice cracks a bit, “What are you doing here?”

He stands silent for a few seconds and he continuous to stare you down, analyzing your face. Eyes slightly swollen, as well as your lips, your soft sniffling. You’ve been crying.

“I wanted to talk.” He finally speaks, his deep voice breaking through the hallway harshly.

“You shouldn’t be here.” You tell him.

“I know.” He agrees, “But... Can I please come in?”

You bite the inside of your lip in thought and your hand slides over the side of the door, grabbing both of your attentions.

Hesitatingly, you take a step back and swing your door open further, giving Nolan enough space to walk in comfortingly.

He’s careful with his steps, and soon the door closes behind him again. Your apartment is still extremely comforting and warm to him. And for a second, it almost made him forget what he was doing there in the first place.

“Want to go sit?” You whisper.

He looks over his shoulder to look at you and gives you a small nod. You break your glance and decide to be the first one to walk towards the couch.

Nolan follows you and soon the two of you are seated beside one another.

Even though with straight serious looks on your faces, you two have racing hearts and sweaty hands. Everything that could make their bodies react to the situation in the middle of all this silence.

“Did I wake you up?” He firstly asks and you just shake your head.

You look down at your hands over your lap and unconsciously, you pull your sleeves over your hands, hiding them from your own eyes.

Nolan decides to start.

“I shouldn’t have said all those things.” Nolan says as he also looks down at your, now covered, hands. “I was mad and I made all of... that, up.”

The words slowly register in your mind and you force yourself to look at him in the face.

“I know it’s stupid.” He says before you can even try to talk, “I know I shouldn’t have even fought back. You were right and I was just being an idiot.”

He shakes his head, staring back into your confused eyes.

“Nol-”

“I don’t know why I even did it. It was like I didn’t want to be in the wrong when I was. It was so childish of me...” He continues, “And all the things that I called you were ju-just awful. And I want you to know what I didn’t mean any of it and that not even one of them is tru-”

He sighs in desperation, finding it ridiculous how he found himself lost in his own thoughts and just rambled all his worries in one breath. Your hands finally stop playing on your lap.

“I wish I could take everything back.” He says more slowly and calmly, “And just act like none of it happened.”

“Me too.” You agree.

He stays silent and his chest tightens at the idea of this not going as he wants to.

“I just... I’m sorry.” He whispers the last part. “You don’t have to forgive me...” He pauses, “Now or-or even ever, but I just want you to know that I am so, so, so sorry.”

You stare back at him as his words fill your ears and his soft expression of pure hurt is all that emphasizes your overthinking.

“And...” He starts again, almost as if saying sorry for talking with his eyes, “I’m also sorry for only talking to you a week later. It-it’s stupid of me. Again.”

The corners of your lips lift slightly at his last words and you swallow harshly, preparing yourself to talk. Yet you stop yourself as you don’t exactly know what to say.

You look down, biting your lip in thought, and quickly, your hands lays over Nolan’s. And even over your hoodie’s thick material, you can feel how cold they are from standing outside at the crack of dawn.

“I’m sorry too.” You whisper to him.

“You don’t need to-”

“I do.” You look back up, “I walked away during a fight and in some way, I feel like it was my fault that you exploded the way you did.”

Nolan shakes his head and you peek your fingers from your sleeves, interlacing them with Nolan’s cold ones. You bring your hand up around your conjoined hands and trace slightly over his fingers to warm them.

“Well, then I forgive you.” Nolan says to you, following your gaze down to your hands. “I really do, even if I think you didn’t do anything wrong.”

A soft grin grows over your lips and you look up at him.

“Than I forgive you too.” You say, “Just- Please, promise me that we’ll never go for that long without talking or trying to sort things out again.” You cringe slightly at your request as if there’s a possibility that he will reject.

“I promise.” He says right away.

“And that we’ll never walk away like that or break up like that.”

“That too. I promise.”

A smile finally breaks through your features and soon also did Nolan’s. You bring your hand up to his face and with a quick movement, you cup his cheek and lay your lips over his.

The kiss is simple, more of a peck if anything, but it’s longer than a normal peck.

You two pull away and Nolan is quick to kiss your cheek a couple of times before actually leaning back and look at you.

“I think we should go to bed.” You tell him with a soft smile, “It’s almost 4.”

“Yeah, let’s go.”

#nolan patrick #nolan patrick imagine #nolan patrick imagines #nolan patrick x reader #nolan patrick x you #nhl imagines #nhl imagine #hockey imagines #hockey imagine

[simplylupin]

Pope saves JJ

What if Pope was the one who saved JJ from drowning in e10??

For the first time in his life, Pope didn't hesitate once - didn't think twice - as he swung over the railing of the ship and jumped into the water below. Somewhere, in the very back of his mind, he knew that launching himself at highspeed into the ocean wasn't the smartest of moves, but as he let go off the metal bar and let himself fall, he found he didn't care much. He was only focussed on JJ and the way he'd looked when Pope had peered over the edge: face down, his body limp and lifeless. All he cared about was making sure JJ stayed alive.

He impacted with the water hard, momentarily shocked by the cold, his muscles seizing up at the sudden change in temperature. A waved slapped against his face and shook him out of his daze, and he gritted his teeth, searching desperately for a sign of JJ. Panic flooded through him when he couldn't spot the boy anywhere, but then another wave broke and there, a flash of blonde hair against the dark water. Pushing past the ache in his limbs, Pope swam over frantically, gasping for breath by the time he'd reached JJ. He grabbed his arm, careful not to weigh him down but enough to keep him up, and slung it over his own shoulder, holding JJ up. He didn't give the slightest of movements at Pope's touch, nothing but shallow breaths and the scarily small rise and fall of his chest. Pope felt his panic rise again as he shook JJ as best as he could, trying to get a get a reaction, any reaction, out of him.

"JJ," he managed to gasp out, "J, stay with me."

Pressure in his chest began building up, and it didn't take him long to realise that it wasn't a result of lack of oxygen, but rather his anxiety slowly stirring inside of him. Not now, he pleaded silently, JJ. I need to help JJ. He gripped his hands tighter around the fabric of JJ's tank top, his fingers digging into his arms.

"Please," he said, not sure if he was talking to himself or JJ.

He closed his eyes and tried to take a deep breath to calm himself but received a mouthful of seawater instead. Now he was panicking, and he couldn't breathe properly, his breaths coming in short gasps and splutters. JJ's going to die and it's going to be your fault, a voice taunted from deep in his head. He's going to die because you were too useless and weak to do anything about it. Somehow, that small voice gave him enough motivation to kick his throbbing legs, lifting both of them above the surface a good few inches.

"JJ please, please. Stay with me, J," he begged, smoothing wet hair out of JJ's eyes.

Pope wasn't sure he could live a life without JJ. When he tried to imagine it, all he saw was an empty, dark place of nothingness. Like an endless void of heartbreak. He'd known the boy since they were eleven, skipping stones together in the school pond. Well, Pope had been skipping stones. JJ had been throwing them and seeing which made the biggest splash. Thinking back to it, he reckons he might have fallen in love with JJ a bit that day. Even if he hadn't realised what it meant until years after. Even if he was still grasping at the concept now; still confused on when along the way JJ's smiles and touches began to mean more than anyone else’s. Every moment just merged into JJ and so it only made sense to Pope that it had been love at first sight for him. And so, a life without JJ meant a life without loving. And Pope had been loving JJ his whole life. He wasn't ready to let that go.

He kicked hard again, pushing them back up, but he could feel himself begin to tire, his grasp beginning to slip. Faintly, in the distance, he thought he could the start of an engine, and for a moment he let himself believe.

"John B's coming, okay?" he said, reassuring himself as much as the boy in his arms. "Please, J, just hold on. Just a little longer."

Pope could feel himself slipping away. The cold was beginning to get to him, and he knew he wouldn't be able to keep them both up much longer. He was tired and freezing and all he wanted was for JJ to be alright.

"You fucking idiot," he murmured, half whisper, half sob. He managed to lift his hand and cradle JJ's face. "Making me fall in love with you was the stupidest thing you've ever done."

They were both slowly sinking as Pope's kicks got weaker and sloppy, their faces barely above the surface. He tried to keep JJ up and in front of him, determined to keep him out of the water as much as possible, but it was a feeble attempt.

"I'm sorry." His voice was sluggish, and his vision was going hazy. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

As his fingers started to uncurl from around JJ's forearm, Pope knew that if JJ was going down, so would he. They'd done everything together, for as long as he could remember. Why not this too? And then, just as Pope was about to give up entirely, there were arms grabbing onto him, hauling him up out of the water. His hold on JJ broke and he struggled before realising that hands were on JJ as well, saving him. He collapsed onto the lifeboat and Kiara immediately crouched down next to him, helping him up into a sitting position.

"Are you okay? Are you hurt?" she pressed, concern etched in her face.

Pope almost felt bad as he pushed her out of the way, scrambling to where John B had hauled JJ on-board. John B moved back as Pope knelt, hands on JJ's shoulders, shaking him. He was dimly aware that he was crying.

"Wake up! Please. Please, JJ. Just wake up."

There was an excruciating long silence where no one moved, no one said anything, and then JJ made a spluttering noise, cracking open his eyes as he started coughing up seawater. Pope was pretty sure the tears were coming down heavier now. He didn't move away as JJ scanned his surroundings through lidded eyes, finally settling on Pope's hand on his shoulder. When he finally looked up at Pope, it felt like a weight was being lifted off his chest, the heavy pressure disappearing from where it had built up in his lungs.

"Hi," he said, voice coming out in a whisper.

JJ continued to stare at him, unmoving and silent, until, "'Sup."

Pope let out a watery, somewhat hysterical laugh, and he heard the others behind him do the same as he pushed JJ lightly. And then his body was betraying him, and he was reaching out, drawing JJ in and cradling him in his arms. He rested his chin on top of his head and held him tight, not sure he would ever let go again.

"Pope," JJ said after a moment, "You're going to break my ribs in a minute, man."

Loosening his hold, Pope felt a sudden rush of anger flood through him, and he shoved JJ again, harder this time. The blonde made a noise of surprise and he looked up with a confused expression.

"You almost drowned, you asshole!" Pope said, voice cracking - unable to keep out the emotion.

"I'm okay, Pope."

Pope let out a hysterical laugh. "No, you're not! You probably still have water in your lungs which means you could be dying from secondary drowning right now and we don't know it, you're lips are turning blue from the cold, you're shaking and coughing," he shrugged away from JJ's hand that had been reaching to him, continuing, "You've been hit in the head which could mean serious brain trauma, and you most definitely have a concussion. You're bleeding and cold and trembling and--"

"Pope!"

JJ's sudden exclamation startled him, and Pope quickly stopped his rambling. JJ lifted his hand again and this time Pope let it settle on his cheek, cupping his face gently.

"I'm okay," JJ reiterated, smiling reassuringly. "I promise."

And Pope believed him.

#jjpope #jj mabank #pope heyward #jj x pope #jj maybank x pope heyward #outerbanks #outerbanks season 2 #obx #obx2 #don't forget that half the cast are jjpope shippers #AND NETFLIX #s3 endgame?? #probably not but one can wish #jjpope ocean kiss please #ao3 #mayward

[fvrxdrm]

Last Night (Leon Kennedy x Reader)

Pairing: Infinite Darkness!Leon x GN!Reader

Warning(s): Implied sex

This is about a dream I had a few nights ago. I added a few things at the end bc the ending in my dream didn’t make sense but I’ll explain it later at the end notes.

*****

“Ugh! She’s a fucking headache!”

The coolness of the air conditioning in the briefing room dried up the remaining sweat on your back and forehead and your hands went disgustingly sticky with the clamminess clinging into your palm. Fatigued and dozy you were, you were sure you were going to pass out right there in your seat.

You, along with your partner, Leon, were tasked to save Ashley Graham again, this time in a more urban part of Italy. When the president told you about her getting kidnapped again, you legit rolled your eyes and Leon nudged your side when he saw the subtle gesture you displayed. Had Leon had the audacity to disrespect people who had higher power than him in his line of work, he would’ve flipped the president off and took the both of you to a nearby bar. He wasn’t like that though, much to your dismay. He still had that “mama’s boy” attitude in him even when he left some of it during his “rookie day” or night or something.

You were close to rioting that time. They were going to send you to that fucking mission again with only the two of you and hand you both shitty-ass pistols with ten fucking bullets. Who the fuck does that? Wouldn’t you send the whole team if you, the president of the United fucking States, had a daughter that’s been kidnapped? Also, why the fuck didn’t they enhance the fucking security level? Hello? Parenting 101?

Leon crashed onto the couch beside you, making you bounce a bit, before shaking his hair from the grease and dampness his locks held. “Agreed. I might’ve lost my ears right there…again,” he grunted as he stretched his arms above his head and managed to pop a few joints in the process. “Wanna grab a few drinks after this?”

With your head leaned against the back of the couch, you turned to look at your friend with jaded eyes and a lazy smile. You nodded in response and slapped a hand on his thigh. “Sure.”

*****

You may or may not have had one too many drinks and danced around like a fucking worm on crack. Leon had one of his arms wrapped around your waist and a glass of whiskey in his free hand as he ground against your skirt-clad ass while you responded back with the same enthusiasm as him. Both of you were drunk, that’s for sure. Not only with pure intoxication, but also with a sinful desire; something you two unknowingly shared on nights where fingers worked their magic to bring you both to a blissful high. You knew they weren’t enough to satisfy your wants, but they were enough to calm your racing thoughts temporarily instead of committing to a one-time thing and bringing awkwardness in the atmosphere, at least you thought it would’ve been a one-time thing.

Leon whispered naughty things into your ear, things he wouldn’t have said had he been conscious enough to stop himself from making a move, and boldly dipped a finger in your skirt and rubbed your pussy through your underwear. He was going to make love to you, he said, and he would make sure that you would be his. You bit your lip as you moaned at his words. He was hot and you would gladly let him fuck you anytime, anywhere. And so, you agreed.

*****

Ring. Ring. Ring.

The provoking sound of your phone pulled you away from your dream. Your fantasy was so close to getting to the good part. Leon was about to fucking kiss you and then somebody decided to fucking wake you up! You sighed. If somebody woke you up this early then you guessed it was really important. So, despite being piqued and groggy from the sudden sound, you picked your phone up from the night stand beside your bed, not even thinking about how different your room looked, and checked the time before answering the call. “Hello?” You spoke, your voice raspy and your throat feeling like a thousand knives were stabbed into it. You also took note of how your head felt like you were banging it against the wall with so much speed and vigor and attempted to ease it down with a simple massage but to no avail.

“Morning, Y/N!”, the voice from the other line boomed, causing your agonizing condition to aggravate even more.

Ashley

You groaned at the contrasting enthusiasm the girl had and you had to slam the phone on the mattress to ground yourself and keep you from dying. “Can you keep your voice down? I have a headache right now and it would be much appreciated if you could calm down,” you said after bringing your device back to your ear.

“Oh, sorry. I was just going to ask if you could meet me in the church later? I wanted to talk to you about something while we get everything set for my wedding tomorrow. I tried calling Leon, but he wouldn’t answer. Can you do me a favor of telling him about it too?”

“Yeah, yeah. I’ll call him.”

“Thanks, Y/N! I’ll see you later,” she said. The call ended with a series of beeps and you slammed your phone on the bed again with your eyes shut tight in irritation.

I cannot deal with that girl again. Especially now that I’m hungover… But who am I to deny the president’s fucking daughter…?

You sighed.

Welp, time to call Leon.

You raised your phone up parallel to your face and was about to press Leon’s saved contact name when you suddenly felt an arm wrap around your torso. Your heart pounded. With eyes opened wide and brain waking up from its slumber in an instant, you slowly turned your head towards your left and almost screamed at what you saw…or rather who you saw.

Leon.

His chest was exposed to the warmth of the morning air, hair strands clamped together by oil and sweat that was starting to form on his skin. He was still deep in his slumber and you noticed how the round bulge tucked in his eyelids moved around as if he was exploring something in his dream.

Never had you and Leon shared a bed together. Those times where he would come over to your place for a drink? He would always insist that he could just crash into your couch in order to avoid invading your privacy.

You panicked at the situation you were in. You grabbed the hem of your blanket and yanked it up to check if anything did happen, and surprise, surprise; something did. You were both naked and you felt something drying up down there. You also started taking notice of how your vagina felt sore from probably getting pounded and fucked silly last night-

Oh, right! Last night.

You vaguely remembered how Leon touched your body while you two were getting drunk. You two were getting a bit too flirty and began groping each other here and there, getting more and more suggestive as minutes passed, pie-eyed and unconscious with how you were treating each other as more than friends.

Every corner and every wall your eyes passed was becoming a void of something dark, something you became anxious of. What happened would forever change your friendship and your relationship with him for sure. Hell, you weren’t even sure if he was going to stay by your side starting from when he wakes up in a few minutes. And as much as you wanted to go back and prevent that from happening, you couldn’t, and you had to face the music whether you liked or not.

*****

Sure enough, when you woke Leon up, everything was awkward. No words were exchange from when you prepared for the day, breakfast, and until Leon drove you both to the location Ashley had told you to go to. The silence rose hysteria in both of your minds. You were going fucking crazy. You were fidgety when you sat beside Leon in the passenger seat and the man would bounce his leg up and down when you hit a red light. You both were trying to avoid taking a glance at each other, but those inevitable moments that you did, you would forcefully smile at each other and then gaze back out the window again. That was the cycle you lived on for a few hours and you decided to let it stay like that until one of you broke the atmosphere.

You waited inside the church as you were told. It was only the two of you inside but you acted like a handful of people were sitting beside you with the amount of space that was left unfilled between you. You were biting your lip and focusing on the pillars and stones that made up the building until you couldn’t process anything that was happening anymore and stood up, studying the interior as you roamed. “Hey,” you heard somebody whisper behind you. You looked down to your wrist when you felt something warm and saw a fairly large hand loosely gripping onto it before looking up to see Leon’s eyes gazing into yours. You nearly got lost in them but thankfully, he spoke before you got stuck into your own stupor. “I just wanna say… I’m sorry. I-it’s not gonna change everything that happened but I don’t want to break what we have. I value you and our friendship too much for me to let it go. I don’t think we can forget about last night but if it makes you feel better…I-I-“

“Can we talk about this outside? I don’t think it’s appropriate for us to talk about it here,” you chuckled. Leon nodded in agreement before leading you out to where a garden caught your attention. “Listen Leon, I know we can’t just pretend nothing happened but… I don’t wanna let go of this either. I value this as much as you do and it would be crazy stupid for me just to just hate you for something we weren’t even conscious about or something,” you said. You both laughed in relief as the weight on your shoulders dissipated into thin air before you placed a gentle palm on his cheek. Again, no words were shared but this time, no anxiety was present. Instead, you felt like this was an intimate moment only the two of you shared. Something was being written in the stars and you saw every word the gods wrote in the eyes of the person in front of you both.

As cheesy as it sounded, you two felt like magnets were pulling you towards each other, physically and mentally, and in a matter of seconds, you found your lips being pressed against Leon’s.

It was like you were recreating what happened last night without even knowing the details, except this was slower, more sensual, and certainly more emotional, and you couldn’t help the tears that flowed freely against your cheeks.

“Come on, let’s ditch Ashley. Maybe we could relive what happened last night?”

*****

Okay, so in my dream, Ashley’s not getting married and she didn’t call me. Instead, what happened was after the bar scene, Leon and I got teleported in front of the altar and just fucking talked. And then we walked outside and what happened in the end of this fic happened in my dream. Lol.

I rushed this bc I’m tired.

#leonkennedy #leon kennedy x reader #leon kennedy imagines #leon s kennedy x reader #leonxreader #leon kennedy x you #leon+kennedy+fanfic #leon+kennedy+imagine #resident evil #resident evil x reader #resident evil fanfic

[nkogneatho]

"Promise me forever"- Fushiguro Megumi x gn!reader.

Genre: fluff, angst, action | I do not own the character.

Wc: 1.9k | Requested by @unabashednightmarepizza

Warnings: mentions of death, heavy angst, mentions of blood, jujutsu fight style, hyperventilation, mentions of depression and anxiety, bringing human back to life.| A/n: I did it finally. It took me long time. If anything above triggers you, please don't read it. I am still new to fics and stuffs so please be kind and don't send hate.

SUMMARY <-

The only people who ever understood you were your parents so processing the fact that they are no more wasn't really easy for you.

You inherited both infinite void and six eyes technique and some different abilities due to mutation to although they weren't very reliable. But for several reasons, you're mother asked you to keep it hidden. You really wanted to feel normal but the clan started gossiping about you and how helpless you are.

"Why are you showing pity towards me? I am strong. It's just that I can't show you. I promised my mother. Why are you behaving like that?", unfortunately these were the only thought running in your head.

Gojou saw you and couldn't take it anymore. The way the clan verbally abused you made his blood boil. You were his precious cousin and he didn't want you to get hurt so he took you to Tokyo along with him while enrolling in school.

You felt safe in Tokyo. It's like that was the place you belong although you had to keep up with your cousins antics but watching him getting his ass whooped by the principal is fun.

New semester, new first years joined in. Your days before were so busy and traumatic that you didn't even have the time to think about dating.

Gojou took this opportunity to introduce you to the hottest single guy.

"Y/n, this is Fushiguro Megumi. Megumi, this is my cousin Y/n", Megumi bowed and greeted you, you did the same. The white haired bitch ran leaving you two in an awkward state. Well you did propose a conversation and turned out you both had similar interests. Two of you eventually started dating. It was nice to have a boyfriend. The feeling was very different maybe because you never felt it before.

"Ah! What are you doing baby? You should be more careful", he helped you get up when you slipped. A little O's leaving everyone's lips watching Megumi so caring.

He always held your hands from onwards. The little squeeze he does when he feels insecure about losing you when you guys go on a date or twirling you around with the support of your fingers as you sing and dance on empty streets at night. "We'll stay like this forever. Promise me", he sneakily slipped a ring up your finger as you were busy singing. "Yes", you smiled.

You gasped later when you took notice to it and then immediately hugged him. Before you didn't even know what a promise felt like and now you had it with a person you love the most.

Never have you ever felt so content with anything in your life. Guess good things come to an end.

Being close to the group, Sukuna sensed the potential and power in you when you fought the cursed womb. Well yes, the team was there but you panicked and lost control. Your powers were now visible to both Sukuna and Megumi. He was shocked at how his strong attacks still left you unscratched. Your rage got the best of you. Some of it was the frustration of all the taunts you heard.

You were sure that Megumi wouldn't want to see this monstrous version of you. Growing up alone, scared as if you didn't belong to the family, you never got the chance to control or monitor on how actually your power works. Although Gojou did help you grow enough. But the thought of him hurting your friends was enough to make you snap. Being the monster he is, he wouldn't let this chance slide.

"You're a beautiful bud y/n. You just didn't get a chance to bloom. Seems like it's not too late", he tried so hard to lure you in but the only thing on your mind was now to tear him apart. Sukuna did retreat or should I say Yuuji made him. Fushiguro ran up to you two as you were there with Yuuji's heart in your shivering hand, blood raining down on floor.

"You guys are the best buds I ever had", the last words leaving his mouth as he tumbled on the floor. Your hands were shivering. Even though Megumi knew how to handle such situations, you didn't. Losing a friend? You didn't even have a single friend in the first place but now? You were the one who thrusted his heart out.

"Y/n. It's not your fault.", he tried to convince you. "I am a monster. They were right. I shouldn't have come here. I was good, rotting in a corner in that place. I am helpless", breathlessly blaming yourself.

It took you a few days to finally calm down and think about what was actually going on. Not to mention you were badly injured after the fight. Megumi and Nobara were there the whole time taking care of you when you were recovering.

Gojou after some days took you to somewhere, a place you weren't aware of.

Shocked to very own core you ran towards to hug your friend Yuuji who was alive.

"Y-yuuji.....", not sure what to say afterwards.

"It's okay y/n. It was not your fault. Plus the good thing. I AM ALIVE", he was so excited to see you, that was clearly visible. You both stayed up late and watched movies though Gojou gave you major spoilers so he got kicked out of the room. Gojou warned you to not speak about Yuuji being alive, yet.

A few days later when you were with Yuuji and Junpei at his school, Mahito arrived.

Turns out the reason behind Junpei's whole brainwashing was this man. You tried to snatch Junpei but before you could, Mahito manipulated his body and he was converted into a curse.

"I just wanna have a conversation", he said but you both ignored his shit talk and punched him but seems like it had no effect. Your moves focused on finding his weak point or atleast holding him until Yuuji brings Junpei back.

"Sukuna. Do it."

"No.", the entity inside him denied. A shock hit Yuuji. How did you guys did not expect this? They both are curses in the end.

"Why me?", Junpei tried to ask, fingers clinging on the hem of Itadori's shirt.

"Yuuji, switch with me", you ordered him. You were aware of what Mahito was trying to do and you let him do it. How fool of him to think he can enter and have a conversation with Sukuna. Sukuna striked a blow on his arm causing him to collapse on the ground.

You brought Junpei back to life with all the strength you had left, it didn't work perfectly because his body was still wounded. Sukuna witnessed your Potential and was impressed. He switched with Yuuji, tricking him that he wanted to help you and he will do anything for his friends so he agreed.

Sukuna's fingers brushed throughout your face, as if he was analyzing each and every single cell of it while you pant, brain hazy. "How long are you planning on staying on the good side? Hm? Don't worry. I am going to steal you anyways", his hands cupped your face but soon was cut off.

"HANDS OFF THEM", Megumi passed a blow, voice raging, the vein on his neck was visible.

"Ah. This is good. Two of my adored humans. I'd have you both for me".

"Dream on. There's no way you're having them", he spat.

"No. There's no way you're having any of us", you balanced yourself on your palm, eyeing the curse in front of you.

"I won't ma-make the same mistake again", you were still pretty beaten up, although you had to save everyone. Yuuji tried his best to control but he won't faze. The lust for your power grew more and more and made it unstable for Itadori to tame him.

"Megu-mi. Do as I say".

"Are you sure y/n you can fight?", the one trait you always liked about him was that he never ignored your dedication and just supported you instead of saying "You are weak now." Or "You should rest".

You blew a punch making Sukuna fall back so now you had a calculated distance from him. Your lover joined, standing beside you.

"Trick him into thinking that we are losing in combat and bring him closer", he wasn't sure what were you upto but this was your only resort.

He summoned the Shikigamis one after another and delivered continuous attacks on him. Of course it was useless. He won't concede just like that. Afterall he is the king of curses so he decided to play along with you two for a while. In the end, you both are coming to me anyway or so he thought until......

Your image swiftly appeared in front of his eyes at which his pupil dilated, forehead bleeding, jaw clenched. The bloodlust was clear in your eyes but now it had a different look. Almost as if you earned a control on your powers.

"I told you, didn't I? I won't make the same mistake again", you latched your palm on his chest where Yuuji's heart was.

It's okay, if it's just for a bit it's okay, you convinced yourself.

You stopped the heartbeat for a couple of second with your ability to send shocks and control organs of the body, sort of reakted to body manipulation, causing Sukuna to loose control.

"Yuuji. NOW!", he took the chance and switched back. His torso tumbled down as a fear hit you causing you to fall too. Maybe you made the same mistake again. Megumi approached you two apace.

"Itadori! Y/n! Get a hold of yourself".

"I guess I did it again.", you cupped his face. "I count myself lucky that I me-met you. I am so.....s-sorry. I love yo-", your arms slowly lost velocity and thud the ground.

"No. Atleast learn to complete your words before you stop", megumi fisted his hands in nothing but air.

Later Gojou and others arrived, immediately taking you and Yuuji to the Jujutsu medics.

Luckily, Yuuji switched back at the right time. Thanks to you he was alive.

Your eyes gradually opened up and wandered around the room for a bit until they caught Fushiguro's. (You thought you can die leaving Megumi alone? SIKE!)

Mind still hazy, but was able to comprehend what happened before.

"Where's Yuuji?",you suddenly rose from the bed. Your voice was soft and low but will never go unheard by your lover. He wanted to scold you at how selfless you were. All beaten up yourself but still asking for someone else.

"He is fine and perfectly alive. To be honest it's a surprise since Gojou told me he was alive all this time. He is so annoying that even death doesn't want him", he chuckled lightly making you too. The smiled on your face faded when you saw a tear fall down from the edge of his eyes. His hands squeezing yours a little tighter than before.

"Don't ever do that again.", he was trying hard not to burst out the water from his eyes.

"I won't. I promised you forever. Remember? There's no way I am going to leave you alone.", you stroked his cheekbones.

"Yes. Otherwise there won't be no one to annoy me"

"Hey!", you slapped his chest lightly but he gripped your hand.

"Complete your sentence. Now."

"I love you", three words left your mouth after recalling what you left him hanging on. Megumi sighed in relief and the placed a kiss on your forehead.

"I love you too. Forever.", you embraced each other for the rest of the night.

Taglist: @1-800-teddybear @kenmathepuddinhead

©All the written contents above belongs to nkogneatho2021. Do not modify and repost.

#fushiguro x reader #jujutsu kaisen #jjk fluff #gojo x reader #itadori x reader #jjk x reader #jjk angst #jjk fushiguro #fushiguro megumi #jjk fanfic

[bellmel]

Reading you, before the fall

An angsty contribution to @clarensjoy’s Hinny Ficfest 2021 (A huge thank you, by the way - seeing my feed flooded by new Hinny fics today has been truly amazing. I’m so glad you arranged this!)

Prompt #40 - “I love you.” “Why do you look like you’re confessing a sin?” “I might as well be.”

AO3

---

There were several things Ginny Weasley could do with her eyes closed. She could cruise along on her broom, guided by nothing more than instinct and her finely-tuned spatial awareness. She could navigate the staircase of the Burrow in absolute darkness. She could tell which of her brothers was walking up behind her just by the distinctive thud and pace of their footsteps. 

And with her eyes closed, she could read Harry Potter. 

Harry had always been a fairly easy study. He had never been particularly good at hiding his emotions – his temper and brazen manner left little room for uncertainty. But in these past three weeks that they had shared together, Ginny had learnt to look beyond what was plainly visible, turning her attention instead to the subtlest of his quirks and mannerisms. And when she was pressed up against him with her eyes closed, her other senses truly awoke, picking up on the unspoken and the unseen. 

The sound of his voice, steady with confidence, or stilted and hushed with an almost vulnerable uncertainty, betrayed more about him in those moments than his words ever could. The way his breath hitched just so each time she leant into his lips, as if he could never tire of kissing her. The way he sighed when their fevered kissing would ease and Ginny would tip her head, resting her forehead on his chest – it was a soft and shaky sound, a sigh born from an odd blend of contentment and something like trepidation. They were sounds that she felt as much as heard, each one filling her like a warm rush of blood that pulsed through her body, settling and expanding in her chest. 

But while the sound of him was like a well-studied soundtrack, it was her hands and fingers that had learnt to read Harry Potter with expert certainty. She could read his mood and anxieties according to the tension in his muscles and the stiffness of his limbs, the way his body responded to her touch, and the fluidity of his movements against hers. 

She would trail her fingers over his arm, his torso, his cheeks. Dancing a familiar path across his body, her feather-light touch would skim over his skin with the practiced confidence of a blind person reading braille, the twitch of his muscles and his goosebumps telling her a story of grief, longing, regret and fear. 

And like many a narrative of love and loss, her reading of Harry had been hinting at a turning point in the days since Dumbledore’s death. The signs, albeit subtle, were all there. They left a trail of crumbs that she couldn’t bring herself to follow.

It put her even more on edge, nervous anticipation having settled heavily in her stomach. She had no way of knowing if it was the next scene, the next page, the next chapter when the twist that they were so clearly moving towards would drop. And in a way, she figured it didn’t matter. What was to come had already been written, and nothing she did now would change it. She didn’t believe it was fate, more an inevitability.

But Ginny’s mind was firmly focused elsewhere on this early morning in June. Harry’s hands had that ability, an unconscious way of commanding her attention. Even the stones of the tall castle wall jutting into her back were just a distant annoyance, drowned out by the feel of Harry leaning into her, his hands gripping her hips and waist.

He was quiet this morning. Both of them had woken early, sleep proving somewhat elusive these days. They were the first ones in the common room, but they hadn’t lingered long, instead escaping out onto the castle grounds before the other students were due to start trickling into the Great Hall for breakfast.

Outside, the grounds were sleepy and calm, the early rising sun having done little to budge the thick fog that had settled over the lake. It was fitting in a way, the grounds of Hogwarts as unclear as everything else inside the castle.

With little interest in talking, Harry had led Ginny to a partially hidden alcove around the side of the castle, and immediately started kissing her. It was frenzied to begin with, Harry clearly chasing a distraction through her, but she didn’t care. They stayed there, engrossed in each other, until Harry’s lips and body became less frantic, and his kisses and touch eased to a slow and tender pace.

After several minutes, Ginny pulled away just enough to catch her breath. “Harry,” she exhaled. It was still and quiet all around them, and Harry’s heavy breaths next to her ear filled the void.

From inside came the first distant sounds of students moving about in the castle, muffled laughter and shouts as they made their way down the staircase to the Great Hall.

Harry looked down at Ginny, realisation etched on his face as if he had only just remembered where they were. “Oh, do you-” he started, straightening up. “Sorry. You probably want to go get some breakfast.”

Ginny shook her head. “No. I’m not really hungry.” She leaned into him, wrapping her arms around him. “Besides, I’d rather stay here with you.”

She expected him to protest and insist she go in and eat before their classes begin. But he simply nodded in agreement, and bent down to kiss the top of her head.

She wrapped a hand around the back of his neck, pulling him down further to place a kiss on his nose, his lips, and his stubbly chin. He responded by cupping her face in his hands, his thumb caressing her cheek.

“Ginny,” he sighed. With eyes shut tight, he pressed his forehead to hers and let out a long shaky breath. And then, in a moment that would reverberate through both her dreams and her nightmares, came those words. “I love you, Ginny.”

It was softer than a whisper, an utterance that could be felt more than heard.

She had heard those words her whole life, sometimes said as a reassurance or as a farewell, or through the gritted teeth of a chastised sibling. But never before had she heard those words said like this. It wasn’t a declaration or a promise, it was something else entirely.

Ginny looked up at him, at his creased brow and pursed lips, and her breath caught in her throat. His face was streaked with pain and remorse.

Her voice quivered, the hint of a nervous laugh. “Why do you look like you’re confessing a sin?” she asked, silently willing him to prove her wrong.

Instead, he opened his eyes and looked regretfully into hers. “I might as well be.”

And it was this exact moment that Ginny realised the suspicion she had been pushing against so desperately these past few days was no longer simply a suspicion. Harry’s admission told her everything she needed to know.

The regret she saw in his eyes wasn’t for his words, but for all that they meant.

She squeezed her eyes shut, willing the knowledge from her mind, desperately trying to tamper the howling agony that was ringing in her ears. Placing her palms flat against his chest, she braced herself and exhaled slowly, forcing her heart rate to ease, attempting to take her time over every detail. Hoping against all reason that she could slow things down, delay the ending, just for a little longer.

And with the clarity of hindsight, she realised he had been doing the same. Ever since his mentor had died, Harry had been trapped in a restless cycle of indecision. He would tense under her touch, only to relent a moment later and melt into her. He was pulling away from her at the same time as he clung to her, like a drowning man grasping at the one thing that could keep him afloat.

Leaning back to look up at him, she ran her hands up his arms, her fingers skating over his shoulders, his collarbone, and coming to rest on his chest. His eyes remained fixed on hers, as if he too was trying to etch this moment into his memory, before his arms tightened around her, and he dragged her in closer. Ginny leant into it, allowing Harry to keep her braced. She should have felt nothing but safe, comfortable and certain, being here with him. But all she felt was the shudder and tremble of his still-grieving body wrapped around hers, and there was no comfort to be found in that.

Her heart ached for him. For the boy who had far too little choice afforded to him, and far too much expectation placed on him. For the boy who had experienced so much already, but wasn’t yet done. For the boy who seemed to have finally found happiness, and was now trying to find the resolve to turn his back on it. Because yet again, it was up to Harry to do what was necessary.

You do it, a voice whispered in her head. You can break it off. Her eyes shot open, mind whirling with realisation. This was the one thing she could do for him, the one responsibility she could lift from his overburdened shoulders and carry herself.

She looked up at him. His head was bent forward, eyes fixed to where her small hands were pressed against his chest. And Ginny knew she couldn’t. She would never be the one to walk away.

She couldn’t look him in the eye, a boy who had known so much rejection and such little love in his life, and tell him it was over. Even if she knew it was the right thing to do.

Even if she knew what the alternative would mean for Harry.

Because while Harry was the protagonist of his story, turning his back on Ginny would make him feel like the villain. For as noble as he was, as selfless and kind as he was, he was still a boy who was terrified of letting anyone down.

If she was honest with herself though, she would have to admit that her reluctance was driven in part by a tiny but insistent piece of her that wondered if maybe she had read this wrong. That feared acting on something that perhaps wasn’t inevitable. Even though the rational part of her knew better.

Coward, the voice in her head reproached. And she agreed.

Taking a deep breath, she drew up her shoulders and steadied her resolve. If she couldn’t be the one to ring the death knell on their relationship, she could stand aside and let him do it. She would watch him walk away from her, and she wouldn’t try to stop him.

But until then, she would be here with him, savouring him.

With steady hands, Ginny pulled Harry down towards her and captured his lips with hers. She wanted him to know that she understood. That she didn’t blame him. That she didn’t regret him.

But she had no words. She didn’t even know if the right words existed. Instead, she poured it into her kiss and her touch. Let her lips, her tongue, her mouth say the things her voice couldn’t. I’m sorry, her kiss said. I forgive you.  

I love you.

[camslightstories]

Tolerate It - Part 7

Lena Luthor x reader, Kara Danvers x reader, Alex Danvers x reader. Baby Danvers.

Notes: Part 7 is finally out! after rewriting and doubting so much I finally came with this part. Not gonna lie, not the finest part of this story but its okay I guess. Sorry again for my bad writing :/

I’m receiving any request, comment, feedback, opining gladly. I hope you guys like it! Thank you so much for the support, I hope I can update tomorrow too but lets wait. Have a great day!

Taglist: @multi-images @captain-josslett

Russian Translations: 

Принцесса - Princess

Не сейчас - Not now

Мы получили встречу с возможным партнером организации в мероприятии в Старлинг-Сити - We got a meeting with a possible partner of the organization in an event in Starling City   

Хорошо - Okay

You looked up to see the now in her late 20s woman, staring at you with surprise and worries. Slowly her eyes ranked to your chest, where notorious scars could be seen. Some of them are larger and older and others newer and smaller, and on top of your right chest, the tattoo of the Bratva stood proudly, big enough for her to notice it but not recognizing the interpretation.

“How can I help you?” You offered, cutting out of her trance. Walking inside the apartment, grabbing the nearest shirt. The brunette walked inside and glanced at it, clearing her throat, when she sensed the change in you.

“My car has a weird noise, and it broke in front of a bar. And the security guy told me the directions to the mechanic” She commented, her voice was worried and confused. The Arias woman looked at you, trying to find any resemblance to the old you.  

“Okay, I will look at it” You responded with the same tone, uninterested, giving her a nod, as you walked outside on your way to the car crane.

The ride was short and silent. The brown-eyed woman in a thinking mode, as she glanced at you. In those 3 years, you let a lot of things, one of them begin how to read people. And the dumbly staring at you like you were a broken charity project did not help your case.

Sam stared at you as you worked on her car, focusing only on it. With her phone in hand, and different feelings coming to the surface as she tried to figure out the situation, and what was the right thing to do. She just came to Texas to leave Ruby in college and now after years of not knowing anything about you, she didn't know if she could even lie to your oldest sister, her girlfriend, or her best friend, Lena, your ex, about your appearance.

Two years of relationship with Alex, seeing her sometimes cry herself to sleep, or have nightmares because you are not there anymore. Sam held her close to her chest, as she did. Everyone had lost a piece of themselves when you left. Some of them have a bigger void to fill than others.

Trying to avoid the tension as you checked the engine in calmness, she spoke up softly scared of what you would say. “How are you?”

“I’m fine” You responded almost immediately, as a monotone. Not taking your focus out of your job. 

Furrowing her eyebrows in confusion as she noticed your attitude, taken back by it. Thoughts and various events came into her head but were interrupted by her phone ringing. The nickname of her girlfriend, your sister appearing on the top of her screen.

With trembling hands and lips, she answered after glancing where you stood, too preoccupied with working. “Hey babe”

“Sammy! I was getting worried, I haven't heard from you and it's almost 8, are you okay? ” Alex said through the phone in one breath. The Arias woman could feel the woman's worries through her voice. Also hearing the scandal of the game night in the background.

“I’m fine, I had to get a mechanic. She is checking the car” She responded as she walked outside watching the night hitting the streets of the small town.

“She? That's great, Woman Power!” Your oldest sister said with a chuckle, Sam sensing her drunkenness', she smiled. Kara and Barry could be heard in the background fighting because of a game and challenging each other to a race. Oliver being the voice of reason stopping them.

She responded spinning back to look at you, where she heard you clearing your throat. Opening and closing her lips to say something about your presence, but preferred to talk to you before about it. “Yeah, Babe… I will call you in a minute, the mechanic is back from checking”

“Of course, don't sweat it. I love you” The redhead slurred to the phone, and Sam could hear the charming, darling smile.

Sam whispered, ending the call. “I love you too, Alex”

Thinking now how to handle a situation, where she knew where you were and how you were and your sisters didn't. How could she lie to them in their face, how can she see them breaking down because you are not there, knowing where you are. She just didn't know what to do.

“Your car broke because it has an overworking engine, and the sound of the car is because the brakes are about to break. It would take 30 min for the engine to cool down and change the brakes, 45” You interrupted her thoughts speaking, cleaning your hands with a towel.

She nodded vigorously as she spoke “Yeah, okay just tell me when you are done”

The time passed, silence overwhelmed the brunette while it calmed you. You had closed the garage the moment the coldness of the night increased. She sat straight trying to make the best conversation starter, but not finding the right words since your answers were not longer than a general sentence long.

You waited for the engine to cool down, before changing the water, putting coolant, and changing the oil. The breaks of the frontrunner were changed for the first time as you could tell. Giving Sam only small answers to her questions, your patience burning out as she kept pushing your buttons.

“Sam, I'm trying to do my job, so will you please?” You said after sliding from under the car, to look at her eye. All of your walls were up, and now with an important person from your past, you wouldn’t let it down.

Trying to keep your emotions under control, as the thoughts came in to sabotage your bottle of feelings. Memories coming back to you. Happiness and sadness overloaded your chest for the first time in a while.

Clenching your hands, as blood dripped from them. Closing your eyes as everything began to fade away. The memories, the pain, the thoughts, everything. Minutes passed and everything went back to its place. Your feelings, your thoughts, and your memories.

Sliding out as you finish, you notice the frown on the brunette's face, and most importantly the pain in her eyes. It didn't matter to you, all you saw was black and white and you made sure of that.

Sam looked up to you, as you closed the car bonnet. The silence made the air thicker than it was, the Kryptonian trying to relieve the tension. She asked the long wanted question, after pulling different theories as you worked “What happened to you?”

The air became heavier, the coldness of the night became the only thing you could feel, the sound of the car running evaded your ears, the blood falling from your hands made you feel like you were under the rain, the taste of beer on your tongue became toxic. All of your senses were going into overwork.

The Russian voice of the man pulled you out of your thoughts. Sam watched attentively from her seat, with complete anxiety. “Good evening, Принцесса”

“Не сейчас, Anatoly” You responded, grabbing the white towel at the side of your tools before removing the blood from your hands. Only to wince of pain, when you felt the cut touch the towel, noticing the damage you had done.

Ignoring your pain, you looked over to Sam seeing her eyeing you and the Russian man confused. Before deeply sighing, making Anatoly walk over the brunette extending his hand with a smile, making you roll your eyes “My apologizes, I didn't know my friend...”

“Work partner” You interrupted holding out your finger threadedly, making the suited man chuckled, while Sam became more worried and confused by the second.

Anatoly claimed as he pulled his hand away, with a smile. Before looking over at you with a questionable glance. “Had any visitors over, Anatoly Knyazev at your service”

“Samantha Arias, nice to meet you” The Arias woman nodded in gratitude before speaking.

Sam turned to face you as she noticed your blood on the now stained white towel, and your hand flinching every moment the towel made contact with the wounds. Worries came crashing to her, as she came closer to you, only to make you back away.

The Russian man seemed to notice and to diffuse the tension between the two of you, he grabbed his suit sleeves before speaking in a work mannerly. “Принцесса, may I talk to you for a moment?”

“Yeah, I will be back in a minute, Ms. Arias” You claimed and didn't even wait for an answer walking over to Anatoly who was on the phone, waiting for you with his hand crossed over the chest.

The Russian man said, looking at you. Furrowing his eyebrows in a questionable glance as he glanced at the brown-eyed woman and you multiple times, making you shook your head and sigh in annoyance “Мы получили встречу с возможным партнером организации в мероприятии в Старлинг-Сити”

Massaging your temple with doubt you responded, pointing at the door with a serious look as he looked at you with a small smirk. “Хорошо”

Waiting for the old man to exit the garage, as he walked over to the brunette giving her a goodbye. In irritation you sighed before walking over to the brunette giving her the keys of the car, mentioning. “Everything is done”

“Okay, thanks,” Sam responded nodding immediately, taking out her card from her purse to pay, only to be stopped by you.

You claimed, and before she could protest you pulled the car out of the garage. “I only receive cash, if you don't have then it doesn't matter”

The Arias woman smiled quietly, as she felt a part of you from the past come out, but frowned immediately as she saw closely your palms, with the recent cuts of your digging nails. And moving up your handsome scars are more visible than others on your wrist.

The moment you notice her stared in your cuts and scars you cleared your throat in annoyance, Sam noticed your tension and got into the car without any other word, starting the engine before looking back at you with a worried face. So many things had changed now, and she had no idea how she was gonna deal with that.

The night was young. The lights of the city were on as the people. The sound of the music coming from each club invaded your ears. The soft smell of alcohol and cigarettes overwhelmed the streets.

Bars and restaurants open in the streets, which only could be lightened up by the brighten by the open places. Couples and Groups walking down the streets finding a place to spend their Saturday night.

Watching from the window of the black car, you were seated waiting for the arrival to the event. Guns and knives under your dress, prepared for any occasion. Not a single feeling coming out of your chest or mind, the blank and void expression on your face as the journey came to an end.

Anatoly was seated beside you, looking outside in silence. The Russian man, checking with the line of security inside the car. With a smile on his face, and a joking tone he turned to you “So what are your plans for the evening, Принцесса?”

You furrowed your eyes, before rolling them in irritation. Giving him a fake smile and a threatened index finger as a response. He chuckled before getting out of the car, making you sighed and abruptly say “Let’s get over with this”

Getting out of the car, you were met with a dark alley and Anatoly waiting for you with a hand in his pocket. You examined your surroundings, seeing various bars and restaurants close, and warehouses on each side. The street was dark and there weren't any people walking around it. You turned around to see the Star city water tower.

Entering the bright and elegant warehouse, you furrowed your eyes at the preparation of the place. Tall tables in the crowds of people, and a close fighting arena in the middle of the warehouse. Some bodyguards followed their bosses and others standing near them. No more than sixty people discussing bets. At the other side of the entrance a small stage was situated, where a woman and 5 bodyguards waited for someone.

You moved through the crowd slowly, walking with Anatoly at your side getting looks from people. Women and men glanced at you as you did. Your hair was down with some waves, a black long sleeve dress that fits you perfectly and a few inches long heels clicked as you walked to the stage, where the possible business partner stood. Your abs could be seen if you looked closely, and you biceps were showing even though you weren't flexing.

Your gut clenched when you felt a familiar started but you couldn't say how familiar it was. Your mind went into an auto mode as you kept walking. Something told you the night wasn't going to be so pleasant. And the moment you stepped onto the stage and recognized the woman made your assumptions true.

Veronica Sinclair, or best known as Roulette stood in a red dress that showed her tattoos, with a smirk as she eyed you and Anatoly. Clenching your jaw in her presence as self-restraint, the woman notice and spoke up with a sarcastic smile. "Weren't you the Danvers girl who dated Lena, but she chooses your sister over you”

“And weren’t you the girl, who didn't fuck Lena good enough, so she had to leave for a man, a British man” Anger moving through your system, and your mind clouded of the irritation you had. You clenched your jaw and your fits, before claiming as you walked closer to her with a sarcastic smile only to be stopped by a hand on your shoulder.

“We are going to get a drink, Roulette and then we can discuss what we came for,” Anatoly said, before dragging you out of the conversation. As he saw the both of you getting threatening close, your hand on top of your gun and her hand up, waiting to sign her bodyguards.

You grabbed a cup of the champagne the waiters were giving and took it all in less than a minute before putting it back giving the waiter draggers as you spoke “Bring me wine”

The young guy nodded vigorously before walking away almost running. You rolled your eyes before tapping on the table. Making Anatoly look up to you with a frown as you spoke. “Anatoly, let me do my job, while you do yours”

“You can't Принцесса, to grow as a business, we need her” He spoke softly looking around the crowd.

You scoffed before beginning to walk away, getting your gun from your thigh. Looking around searching for the bitch, only to not find her. "Great, then I kill her and you take over, capiche?”

Before you could walk back into the stage, people started to whistle as two people came into the ring. You looked over to the table you stood and Anatoly gathered another drink with a smirk as you frowned abruptly walking to the booth. Before commenting “Seems like time is not in your favor, Принцесса”

The sweat smell of the men fighting irritated you. The time the fight had taken, annoyed you. The lights of the place started to not function properly. People kept yelling bets, whistles, and more and it overwhelmed you.

The feeling of irradiance started to take over you, creating a headache. Taking your and Anatoly's drink as a remedy only made it worse. Your annoyance increased when the Russian man wandered off to an associate leaving behind. Grabbing three waiters as you threaten them into giving you their drinks tray.

Now with a clouded mind and a bad gut feeling, you walked to the stage where Roulette stood only to be stopped by the lights going off, and way too many familiar voices speaking.

“You have failed this city!” Oliver iconic, now tiring line

Kara said as she flew over all of the criminals “Why do you guys do this, knowing we are going to stop you?”

You felt the lights hit you stronger than ever when they were turned on again. Taking out both of your guns as quickly as you could, walking over to the tattooed woman standing with a smirk looking at your sister.

Before you started to shoot in hopes of taking down her bodyguard, but when it only took 4 of them leaving one. You started to fight him, mostly defending and waiting for him to make a mistake, at the third punch he tried to give, you grabbed his arm and flipping him to the floor before shooting him without hesitation.

Looking up to see Sinclair smirking at you with a gun in her hand, you tried to cover in one of the tables as she kept firing at you. When both of your sisters called her name and you thought you had your chance. Rushing out of it holding both of the guns in your hand, trying to locate her. You felt a pinch in your back.

The tranquilizer began to put your head more out of place than it already was. Losing consciousness as you tried to get the small arrow out of your back, you looked up to see Roulette smirking at you.

The sound of the firing gun invaded your ears. And the pain began to flow in when the bullet opened your skin in your stomach. Putting your hand over the now open scar and the bullet you felt as the pain began to flow in and blood to flow out, as it wetted your hands. Losing consciousness, when you felt the coughing began and the red fluid came out of your mouth.

Pain invaded your system and began to take over. Your hearing began to buzz. The smell of alcohol and fire began to overwhelm your nose. You tried to put pressure over the wound only to not feel a wound at all. Your vision began to blurry and everything began to fade away slowly, the only thing that remained was the pain.

The pain was eternal, the pain was there to stay. And the universe has taught you that. It was never going to stop for you and knowing that you lost yourself in the darkness once more.

#lena luthor #lena luthor x reader #alex danvers x reader #kara danvers x reader #supergirl imagine #baby danvers

[it-was-summer]

Video Killed The Radio Star - Chapter 6 (Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader)

A/N: Hello! I’m sorry for being so inactive, I just started up college again this semester and it’s been a long week and it’s only Wednesday. I think I might try to update Sunday every week starting next week so we will see how that works out!

Warnings: Soft mention of drugs once again, They are just talking again and things are being put in motion. 

Plot: Spencer and you have conversations and make some plans. You have a certain kind of dream. 

Word Count: 2.1K

Spencer could feel his cheeks grow warm, a grin creeping its way onto his face. There was the pesky idea of fate repeating in the back of his mind. Spencer suppressed the idea, not wanting it to ruin the moment. He was too busy zoning out, thinking about how easy the smile on his face appeared when he heard your voice, not noticing the growing silence over the line. “Spencer?” your voice called through the phone.

“Yes, I’m sorry, I’m here!” Spencer laughed quickly, clearing his throat nervously. “Why are you up?”

He heard you laughing over the phone, nervous knots twisting in his stomach. “Spencer, it’s seven o’clock.” You giggled, feeling lighter than you had all day. You heard him laugh nervously at himself as he muttered an embarrassment, “Right.”

Spencer licked his lips, “Why did you call?” he questioned, trying his best to relax on his couch.

You felt the weight in your chest replace the butterflies, swallowing hard. You had kept it all in, it was hard to pick the reason for your call. You took in a deep breath, blowing it out slowly. “Things have just been piling up, and I feel like I need some help.” your fingers pinched the comforter between your thumb and index.

“What kind of things have been piling up?” Spencer asked, straightening as he listened.

You pinched the comforter tighter, jaw clenching down. You didn’t want to cry with Dr. Spencer Reid on the phone. Maybe it was because you hated feeling vulnerable. You tried your best to relax and remember that he wouldn’t judge you, he said to call if you needed anything, and you did. “I don’t want to say something stupid,”

“You won’t,”

“Well, it kind of started when I left the hospital. I had a dream, a memory, one night. I could feel her, she wasn’t there, because she’s dead! Then,” you let out a calming breath, “Then, I was in my mom’s kitchen, and I saw this pink light. I was back there, like in the room, I could feel it, smell it.” You shivered, overwhelming anxiety dawning on you.

You felt safe with Spencer, you couldn’t explain why you did, but you did. Was it because he was the first face you saw that day? Or because he had come to check up on you in the hospital?

Despite your overwhelming feeling of trust towards Spencer, you couldn’t stop the tiny voice in the back of your mind that told you he thought you were crazy. Clammy hands rubbed against your pajama pants in a desperate attempt to dry them.

Spencer wanted to spew statistics, say something about how many victims experience post-traumatic stress disorder, but he stopped himself. He wanted to dig deeper, he wanted you to know you weren’t alone. He cleared his throat, trying to sound calm. “I know what it’s like, to feel like they’re still around. It seems irrational to think that a dead person is around, that getting saved was all a dream, but I know what it’s like.”

Your heart rate slowed at his words, closing your eyes as you chuckled gently. “You just have to say that because you're my federal agent,” teasing him softly over the phone.

“Hey, that’s Doctor federal agent to you.” Spencer joked, a tiny chuckle building up in his throat. “I’m saying it because I know,” he ruffled his hair as he tried to think about what to say, falling back into a silent panic. He wasn’t used to talking to people about it, especially people that he didn’t know. He tried to recall his emotions, trying his hardest to remember. He wanted to be a beacon of light for you, something to follow, something to trust. He swallowed hard, “About two years ago, I was kidnapped,”

“Spencer,” your tone was so soft, so sweet, he felt his chest pound. “You don’t have to explain anything to me,” You heard a gentle protest on the other line, shushing him. “Spencer, really, it already means the world to me that you gave me your number. You didn’t even have to pick up and yet, you did.”

Spencer hesitated, wanting to insist that he was fine with talking about it, to insist that it didn’t bother him, but he kept his mouth shut. He knew that it wasn’t something he was comfortable with talking about and you were right. He didn’t even know you, but here he was trying to convince you that you were safe. That you weren’t alone. “I’m sorry,”

“For what?”

Spencer grinned, feeling lame as he searched for an answer. After a few moments of silence, you spoke up again, “Spencer, I’m not working right now and I’m always alone,” you trailed off, your cheeks flaring, “Well, I was wondering if I could keep calling you. As long as you aren’t busy,”

You were waiting to hear Spencer’s calming voice reject you, but you could hear the excitement in his voice as he answered with an enthusiastic “Yes,”

You felt your chest tighten, “I’ll call you tomorrow at eight?”

“Eight sounds good,”

“Okay,”

“Okay,”

You quickly said a nervous goodbye, hanging up after hearing Spencer bid you farewell.

---

It was night, cool breezes blew through your hair, as you looked up with a smile. Your arms wrapped around his neck, large hands holding your hips. You ignored the excitement shooting down your spine, your body feeling nuclear under his touch, your emotions being the bomb and his touch was the impact. You felt so wonderfully warm if something touched you, you were sure it would heat up in a second.

You felt his hands move away, pulling at his neck for a thick scarf, wrapping it around your neck delicately, pulling you closer by the ends of it. He laughed, peppermint filling your senses, leaning down quickly. You caught a glance of hazel eyes before you woke up in your lonesome bed.

A pit formed in the bottom of your stomach as you push yourself up on your bed, blinking as you registered who you were just dreaming about. You let out a whisper of a desperate no, dramatically falling back down onto the bed with a groan. Your hands rubbed your eyelids, trying not to picture Spencer leaning down, trying not to remember how he smelt of peppermint. How did you even know that? You scolded yourself as you got up, throwing on some semi-appropriate clothes and heading for the door with your crutches.

You needed some air, you knew he was in your dreamland of romance because he was the last person you talked to last night. After the phone call, you spent the rest of the long night on your bed with a copy of The Picture Of Dorian Gray. Why couldn’t demonic Dorian Gray live in your dreamland? You limped into the coffee shop, holding back a giddy smile as you gave Spencer Reid’s lips one last thought.

You had spent the rest of your day, doing mindless tasks; you read, you cleaned, watched mindless television, anything to keep yourself distracted. Your mind kept drifting towards darker ends, today seemingly worse than the last. Your body yearning desperately for numbing bliss, a gentle reminder that despite all of your romantic dwellings you were still living in an unbearable existence.

You were about to endure another episode of staring up at the ceiling when there was a gentle knock at the door. You welcomed the distraction with a grin, hobbling as fast as you could, over to the door. You opened it to see a delivery woman smiling back at you as she handed you a tiny package, you signed for it quickly and politely shut the door. You sat at your kitchen table, opening the package with a tiny struggle.

It was free from all the tape now, but you couldn’t stop the sick feeling from eating at you. What if you had another stalker? How stupid were you to just bring a package into your house? After everything that had happened, you cursed yourself for your carelessness. You swallowed a quick gulp of air, opening up the package slowly. You let out the air with a tiny gasp, seeing a tiny card on the inside that read Spencer. The note was right next to a box of peppermint tea and a small copy of Oscar Wilde’s The Nightingale and the Rose.

You tried not to let it get to you as fire decorated your cheeks, you opened the note quickly, reading messy handwriting.

Y/N,

Since you said you were always alone, let this keep you company.

-Spencer

You bit the inside of your cheek, heart racing as your stomach filled with the fluttering wings of butterflies. Before you could let your mind go any farther, you suppressed them, choking the life out of beating wings in your stomach. It wasn’t fair to him, to Spencer. He was too good and you were here in your apartment, yearning for a drug to satisfy you. He didn’t need that. He shouldn’t have to fix you and he wasn’t going to be your coping mechanism.  

You stood up, grabbing the peppermint tea, slipping it into the cabinet with a dramatic huff. On your way back to the couch you grabbed the book, sitting down and letting it do the job of keeping you company.

After a cup of peppermint tea, you called Spencer’s phone. You felt a very familiar lump grow in your throat as you heard the first ring. Despite being in the good company of a good book, you couldn’t stop thinking about Spencer. It seemed that thoughts of him kept you more company than anything Oscar Wilde could produce. You let yourself be convinced that he was just a friend, that he was just someone trying to help you get through a rough patch. He was just someone who understood.

Another ring. You squeezed your eyes tight, the sudden urge to hang up the phone was becoming slightly overwhelming. You were about to hang up the phone at the third ring, but then you heard a very breathless “Hello?”

Anxiety exited your system, warmth replacing the void effortlessly. “Hi,” you chuckled, hearing a heavy pant on the other end of the line, “Did I interrupt a workout  routine?”

“No,” Spencer let out a breathy laugh, relaxing at the sound of your voice. It was a welcome distraction from his day, they didn’t have a case, it was just a long day. “I was just cleaning up,”

“Is the doctor dirty?” you questioned, the word choice setting in as your cheeks became a light pink, stuttering to fix your mistake. “I mean, messy! Are you messy?”

Spencer didn’t think the question was all that odd till he realized that it could have been taken out of context and then he let out a tiny chuckle, shaking his head slowly. “No, I’m not dirty, just cluttered,” he answered, a smile on his lips. “Did you get the package?”

“Yes,” Your voice rising in volume with excitement, “I did, it was perfect. Thank you so much.” A tiny piece of guilt slithering into your mind as you stole a glance over at the book next to you. You were about to speak when Spencer cut you off.

“I was just thinking about what you said last night and thought it would cheer you up,”

Your guilty thoughts came to a halt, a blush creeping its way towards your ears as you let out a gentle, “It did,”

“I’m glad it did,”

You let out a soft hum, trying to come up with something to say. You wanted to ask him how his day was, or ask him how he was feeling. But all of those questions seemed weak. You could’ve told him that you wanted to be friends, but your emotions decided for you. “Would you be alright with going out, like as friends?”

“As friends?”

“I would like us to go out as friends, yes.” your voice shook slightly with anxiety as you waited for his response.

Spencer couldn’t fight back the laugh bubbling in his chest, chuckling at how nervous you seemed. “I would love to,”

“Are you sure?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

“I don’t know, you might think I’m weird or something?”

“Y/N,”

“Yes?”

“I would want nothing more than to go out with you, as a friend, that is.”

#spencer reid #dr spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer x you #spencer x y/n #spencer x reader #Spencer CM #spencer Reid #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid fanfiction #Spencer reid x reader #Spencer Reid fic #spencer reid fluff #criminal minds imagine #criminal #Criminal Minds #Criminal Minds Fanfiction #criminal minds x reader #mgg #Matthew Gray Gubler #femreader #Dr Reid #dr spencer reid #Video Killed the radio star

[chloelucia13]

Chapter 16: The Sauna Test

Pairing: Jonathan Byers x Henderson!reader

Prompt:  You always thought Hawkins was the most boring town of all, stuck in a vacuum void of excitement and entertainment. Well, it seems that way until the world decided to flip upside down, literally.

Chapter summary: Eleven, Max, Nancy, and Jonathan had all grown more suspicious of you and Billy after what El and Max had seen, but when everyone gets separated, the monster decides to rear its ugly head in more ways than one.

Word Count: 3352

Warnings: some angst, some fluff, some action finally (in more ways than one!!), a lil bit of cheating, language, pretty normal stuff

A/N: And we're finally getting somewhere with the Jonathan and reader plot line!!! I hope you all enjoy the chapter, and as always, my ask box and requests and tag lists are open babies! Love ya!

Tags: @just-my-fandom @nightbu-g

El couldn't let go of what she'd seen.

You being with Billy was weird enough and its strangeness had already burrowed under her skin, making her squirm. But the way you were acting, what she had seen that night when she was messing around, it wasn't right.

But what she had seen of Heather had made her downright disturbed. Sure, Billy was an asshole and she knew not to be around him, but he wasn't a murderer... right?

"Hey, there's nothing to worry about anymore, okay?" Max told her, noticing the way that El had gotten lost in her worried thoughts.

El gave her a doubtful look and let out a huff. "It doesn't make sense," she grumbled.

"What doesn't make sense?"

"Heather. The blood. The ice... Y/N."

"Heather had a fever, so she took a cold bath, but she's better now. And Y/N is probably trying to make Billy a better person or something. That has to be it. I don't know where that blood came from, but... we saw her. We saw them both. They're totally fine."

El stared at the wall, her brows furrowed. "What about Billy?"

"What about him?"

"He seemed wrong."

Max chuckled. "Wrong is kind of like his default. But it's nice to know he's not a murderer, because that totally would've sucked. Hell, maybe he seemed different because Y/N's making him better."

The two girls chuckled, and the conversation fell silent.

***

As soon as panicked panting sounded in the next room, Heather rose to her feet and walked over to the two people you held captive. Heather's parents.

You and Billy watched from afar as she spoke to her father, neglecting his pleas before stepping away and allowing you and Billy to replace her spot. Billy knelt in front of Janet as you knelt in front of Tom, both of you instructing them to stay still.

Simultaneously, you both rose to your feet and the three of you walked up the metal stairs. As you ascended the stairs, you could hear their pleas become drowned out by the guttural growls and snarls.

***

The next morning, you had awoke with a heavy pit in your stomach.

The image of Heather's overtaking was still etched behind your eyelids, and though you hadn't witnessed the other overtakings, you imagined that they occurred very similarly.

But the screams. You could never ignore the screams.

Silently, you slipped out of your bed and walked into the kitchen, pulling the freezer open and staring blankly.

The pint of strawberry ice cream from Scoops still sat there, perfectly untouched.

God, you wanted to sob. You wanted to scream. You wanted to go back to when your life was normal- well, more normal than this. Than being fucking possessed by this strange creature who was dragging you through hell.

You wanted to see your brother and his friends again. You wanted to see your friends again. Steve and Robin and Nancy and Jonathan.

Jonathan.

You were mentally kicking yourself, realizing that you spent the past six months avoiding him and now you don't know if you'll ever see him again.

You closed the freezer and scrubbed at your face, only to realize that tears had soaked your cheeks. Quickly, you swiped away the tears and rushed back to your room, not wanting to risk getting caught by your mother and having that creature take over once more.

After locking the door behind you, you curled up on your bed and pulled the blankets over your body. Maybe if you slept, you wouldn't have to deal with all this pain and guilt.

Just as you were drifting off, the doorbell rang. Immediately, your anxiety shot through the roof, and you contemplated not answering the door, but then the doorbell rang once more. You took deep breaths and slowly creeped out of bed, unlocking your door and leaving your room before stepping up to the front door.

Peering through the peephole, your heart sunk to your feet when you saw who was outside. Jonathan stood there awkwardly, his head bowed and his hands in his pockets.

You began to slowly walk away from the door when Jonathan began to speak, his voice traveling into the house. "Y/N?" he called out. "Are you home? I drove by the pool and you weren't there. I just... I was wondering if we could talk?" He sounded stressed, maybe even upset.

Your emotions took over, and against your better judgement, you pulled the door open. You watched as his eyebrows rose in surprise at the fact that you actually opened the door. "What's wrong?" you hummed. "I thought you had work today."

He chuckled, awkwardly scratching the back of his neck. "Yeah, that's uh... That's part of the issue," he coughed out. "Can I come in?"

You nodded, stepping to the side and allowing him to come inside before you shut the door behind him. Afterwards, you stepped next to him and the two of sat down on the couch. "So, what's going on?"

"I got fired. Well, Nancy and I got fired."

Your brows knitted together in confusion. "Fired? How? I thought you were doing amazing at the post!" You tucked your legs under yourself and turned to face him directly.

"I was, and I really liked it there! But..." He let out a sigh. "Nancy had answered a call a few days ago from this old woman, saying that all of her fertilizer was going missing."

Sounds like a newsworthy story," you teased.

"Hey, it's serious!"

You held up your hands in surrender, but a giggle slipped past your lips. "Sorry, sorry. Continue."

He let out a playful huff, a smile cracking at the corners of his mouth. "Anyway, she realized that the fertilizer was going missing because there were rats in her basement that were eating it and the rats... They were getting sick, or something." He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. "Nancy and I went to investigate, and we didn't ask any of the higher ups because we knew that they would tell us that it was stupid. We went, and we realized that she was telling the truth. The rats had eaten whole bags of fertilizer."

"Okay, hold on, you said the rats were different? In what way?"

He shrugged, shaking his head. "I have no idea. It was like they were feral, diseased." He let out a sigh before continuing. "We went back to work the next day and Nancy told everyone about what we saw. Like we expected, everyone just thought we were being stupid. That she was some paranoid and lonely old woman who sucked us into one of her many conspiracy theories so she could spend time with somebody."

Jonathan paused, lost in thought with a deep line set between his brows. Silently, you reached forward and smoothed the line with your thumb, brushing some hair away from his face at the same time. "So you got fired because you followed a potential story?"

He shook his head. "We went back last night, and we found her in her basement. She had eaten the fertilizer, along with a whole bunch of chemicals that we found around the house. She was screaming about how she had to go back." He stared silently at the carpet. "Luckily, the ambulance was able to stabilize her and she's safe at the hospital."

You could tell how much guilt he was harboring, how heavy everything weighed on his shoulders. You rested your hand on his shoulder and squeezed, earning a small smile from him. "You saved her, Johnny. I don't think there's anything you should feel bad about."

A sigh left his lips. "Tom thinks that we abused his trust, and we fed into her delusions. So he fired us."

The mention of Tom gave you flashbacks to last night, but you quickly smothered them and instead gave Jonathan a sympathetic look. "I'm sorry."

"I drove Nancy home, and we... we got into a huge fight about everything that happened. About how I needed that job and she didn't, and she fucked it up for both of us. I-I said some things I didn't mean, but..." He returned his gaze to you finally. "I'm just hurt and guilty and confused about how I feel at the same time."

"Well," you sighed, letting your hand drop from his shoulder to his hand, linking your fingers with his. "I know that you both did what you think was right, and I know that you both were so concerned about this because you've seen things that make you worry that it could be something... Out of the ordinary." You scooted a bit closer, looking him in the eye. "But I also know that maybe you let Nancy drag you into this big mess, and you blame her for everything that happened. But Nancy has been going through her own problems, and maybe she felt that she needed to prove herself and her judgement was clouded by that."

He was silent for a moment, letting his eyes search yours as he looked for the words to say. "I should call her. Apologize to her."

You sighed. "Maybe. Or maybe you should let it sit for a bit, make sure you have all of your emotions lined up, because I know you both get a bit hot-headed when you're defending your actions."

He chuckled at that, his eyes dropping to your linked hands and gliding his thumb along your knuckles. "Y'know, Max and El came up to me yesterday, and they said they were looking for you. That they were worried about you."

You resisted the urge to stiffen, instead taking a deep breath and trying to stay calm. "Really?"

He nodded. "Yeah, they said that you were being really weird. That you were even hanging out with Billy. It even freaked me out a little bit. I... I guess that was part of the reason I came here, to talk to you. I wanted to make sure you were okay, and now I feel stupid for even worrying."

Please don't feel stupid. Listen to that gut instinct. Please.

"I mean, it definitely is a little stupid," you teased, nudging his shoulder. "I think those girls just have a bit of an overactive imagination. I'm just fine. Just normal old me."

"Thank god for that," he added, a full smile finally spreading across his face.

You returned his smile before rising off the couch. "Do you want something to drink or eat?"

He shook his head, also pushing himself to his feet. "No, I should probably get going. Thank you, though."

You nodded, walking him to the door and opening it for him. "Of course. Thanks for checking up on me, Jonathan, even if I didn't need it."

He stepped out the door and stood on the porch for a moment, eyes flitting over your face. "I missed you, Y/N."

A small sigh left your lips. "I missed you too. So much. Stay in touch, okay?"

He nodded. "Okay. Bye, Y/N."

"Bye, Johnny." With one final wave, you closed the front door.

***

After seeing Jonathan that morning, you had felt a sort of urge to see him again, a magnetic pull towards that boy who broke your heart.

You knew it was dangerous to see him, not only because he was now in a committed relationship with your friend (though after what he told you had happened between them, you wondered if that label would last), but also due to the fact that you had no idea when this creature controlling you would make you snap and do god-knows-what.

So you locked yourself in your room once more, staring at the ceiling as you laid on the floor and attempted to will this horrible longing feeling away.

To no one's surprise, it didn't work.

Your next idea was to go spend time with Steve, hoping that maybe he would talk some sense into you. You threw on a pair of jeans and a sweater and drove to the mall in the sweltering heat, not wanting to risk letting your skin bubble and sizzle under the sun like BIlly's had.

But of course, neither Steve nor Robin were working, and no one had heard from them.

Under normal circumstances, you would be worried about their wellbeing, but you frankly had too much on your mind concerning your own wellbeing that you didn't fret about it. Instead, you ordered a pint of strawberry and a pint of mint chip from the boy at the counter and hurried out of the mall.

Before you could even stop yourself, you had pulled up (in the

car you had finally gotten fixed) onto the rocky front yard of the Byers' house.

With a few mumbled profanities towards your impulsiveness, you grabbed both pints of ice cream and stepped up the front porch steps that creaked under your feet. You knocked at the front door and shifted awkwardly, turning slightly to glance at the setting sun.

"Y/N?"

You turned around to face Jonathan who stood at the door, now dressed in an olive green tee shirt and a pair of jeans. "Hi!" you hummed, smiling brightly.

"Hi," he chuckled, mirroring your smile. "What are you doing here?"

You shrugged, brushing past him and walking into the house. "I thought you might still be feeling down about today, so I wanted to bring you some ice cream. You still like mint chip, right?"

His eyes followed your figure as you walked into the kitchen and grabbed two spoons for the both of you. "Uh, yeah. Thanks...?"

You finally stopped moving for a moment to take in his confused state. With a sigh, you sat down on the couch, placing the ice cream and spoons down on the coffee table. "And after seeing you today, I realized how much I missed spending time with you. I guess... I guess I just wanted to see you again and catch up."

His look of confusion slowly melted into one of comfort and slight melancholy. "I missed you too. I'm glad you came over." We walked over and sat on the couch, his leg bumping into yours. "And I'm glad that you brought me ice cream."

You nudged his shoulder with yours, giving him a beaming smile. "You're lucky I remembered your favorite. I was just about to get some only for me."

He shrugged, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips. "I don't mind sharing."

"I do!"

He laughed, resting his head on your shoulder as his shoulders shook with giggles. You laughed with him, but you were acutely aware of how close he was to you.

As your laughs died down, the two of you opened your individual pints of ice cream and began to dig in. "Have you talked to Nancy yet?" you asked before shoveling a spoonful of ice cream into your mouth.

He shook his head, letting out a sigh. "Not yet. I'm taking your advice and letting everything settle for a bit," he replied, leaning back on the couch. "I just... our argument made me realize a lot."

"Like what?" you mirrored his position, leaning back on the arm of the couch.

"I mean, I knew that we both came from different backgrounds and we would never agree on some things, but..." He poked his ice cream with his spoon. "I guess I never realized that though we've spent so much time together, she still has this idea that everyone has it as good as she does. That people can just throw away something that doesn't fit them perfectly because they have the money to do so." He lifted his eyes from his ice cream and up to you. "And maybe I'm narrow-minded too, spending time with other people who knew what it was like living without a lot of money."

You frowned as he spoke, slowly leaning forward to set your ice cream and spoon down on the coffee table. "Do you think that it could... hurt you guys in the long run? Knowing what she sees about the whole situation?"

He set his ice cream down as well, pulling his feet up onto the couch and crossing his legs. "I-I don't know."

Silently, the two of you searched each other's eyes with baited breath, a million thoughts racing through your head.

It was at that moment that your judgement took a back seat, and you felt that inky fog lurking in your mind.

You leaned forward and pressed your lips to his. He let out a hum of surprise, but he made no move to pull away from you. Slowly, you moved your hands to the back of his neck and scooted closer to him so you didn't have to crane your neck. You huffed out a sigh of relief as his hands finally rested on your cheeks, his shoulders beginning to lose their tension as he finally relaxed into the kiss.

Just as you were about to deepen the kiss, you felt the familiar surge of black course through your veins, your skin beginning to burn as black veins snaked up your arms and neck.

As the pull towards the creature grew stronger, your lips fell from Jonathan's and you fought the creature for control.

Jonathan gave you a confused look when you pulled away, but he quickly pushed himself away from you when he noticed the inky veins that adorned your skin. "Y/N," he gasped, his eyes wide with panic and fear. You immediately pushed yourself off the couch and rushed towards the door, only for Jonathan to lurch forward and grab your wrist. "Y/N, what the fuck is going on!"

You snapped your gaze to him, feeling that fog slowly take over your mind as you fought to stay awake. "Let me go," you begged. "Please, I don't want to hurt you."

"What?"

"Let me go, Jonathan!"

Your tone startled him, loosening his grip on your wrist just enough for you to slip away from him and out the door before the creature took control.

***

Jonathan began to pace back and forth a few minutes after... Whatever had just happened.

He knew those veins, those pitch black veins that flooded your skin. He saw them when he had to exorcise his own brother, and now another person he cared for so dearly was overtaken by that same creature.

When Will was fighting was controlled by that same creature, though, he didn't seem so... normal. Was it evolving? Learning?

That then made him question if it was even really you. Maybe it had learned your mannerisms, took advantage of the thoughts it had access to.

What if you didn't even want to kiss him, but that thing made you?

He shook the thought from his head. He knew you loved him, that you wanted to be with him. But he also knew that you wouldn't overstep since him and Nancy were still together, even though they had gotten in a fight.

But God, he'd kiss you again in an instant if given the chance.

With a huff, he sat back down on the couch and stared at the two half-eaten pints of ice cream, guilt and worry gnawing at his insides.

He needed to tell Nancy about what happened to you. Just not now.

***

You sat at the landing of the metal warehouse stairs, silently watching Heather patch up Billy's bloodied body as you thought back on what happened just minutes ago.

"The girl, was it her?" Heather asked, gently dabbing a damp cloth over Billy's shoulder.

"Yeah," Billy responded gruffly, his jaw set tight. "It was her. She knows now. She knows about me."

"Jonathan knows too," you voiced silently. "He saw."

He gripped onto Heather's wrist, stopping her actions. "She could've killed me," Billy continued, ignoring your statement.

"Yes. But not us," heather whispered. Silently, she turned to look over the rows of individuals you've sacrificed, people overtaken by the monster.

"Not us," you repeated.

#stranger things #stranger things 3 #billy hargrove #billy Hargrove x reader #Jonathan byers #Jonathan x reader #imagine #st series #Steve Harrington #Nancy wheeler #mike wheeler #eleven #dustin henderson #max mayfield #will byers #Lucas Sinclair #heather holloway #Joyce byers #jim hopper #platonic!reader #henderson!reader #stranger things x reader #st fanfiction #one shot

[fatiguing-thoughts]

Golden Eyes - Paul Lahote x Reader

A/N: I thought of this last night when I had trouble sleeping. Can’t wait for you all to hate me, but I thoroughly enjoy it and encourage you to read until the end.  It’s kinda a sad one folks, but I give to you a soft Paul 

Paul and I sat in the meadow as we had grown accustomed to. He had found it on patrol a few months ago, so now we come here as often as possible, now that the threats of impending vampiric doom was dwelling since Bella and Edward got married a few days ago. It was time for everyone to breathe for what felt like the first time in forever. 

I inhaled the fresh scent of teakwood cologne on Paul’s chest. My head rested on his bicep as we laid down. Simply enjoying the company of one another, laughing at each other’s stupid jokes, and giggling whenever he whispers yet another sweet nothing into my ear. 

The light shone on us almost magically, it almost felt surreal. I felt the warmth from the sun’s rays shining on my skin, pairing with Paul to make the almost chilly day bearable. 

The deep rumbling of his chest sent waves of happiness throughout my body, his laugh was the air I needed to breathe. Paul really made me feel things I never knew were possible. 

Suddenly, the air grew quiet. The sounds of nature came to a halt. We no longer heard the sounds of birds nor the rustling of the wind. Paul’s chest tightened and he inhaled deeply. His large body turned over onto mine, crushing me into the ground. 

“Paul?” I asked, voice trembling. 

“Shhh.” 

He looks around, trying to find the source of whatever killed our blissful moment. Though that only lasted a few seconds before I heard his voice once again. 

“What’re you doing here, Irina?” Paul asks, letting himself get off of my chest.

I turn and see the woman I recognized from Bella’s wedding. She stared daggers at us all night. 

I looked into her golden eyes, and I saw nothing but pure disdain. She was not happy to see us. 

“I came to apologize to Carlisle for my behavior at the wedding.” She smirks, looking over at me. 

“Well, you’re about fifteen miles away from their house.” Paul says, growing more uneasy by the minute.

He stood in front of me, I began to stand myself but my legs were trembling with fear. 

She wouldn’t be stopping to see us for any good reason. She might’ve actually came to apologize to Carlisle, but smelling us out here might’ve presented too good of an opportunity for her. 

“You killed him.” She scoffs, her golden eyes burning holes into Paul.

I knew Paul wasn’t trying to escalate the situation, as he was trying to avoid more conflict and was hoping she would just leave. But it was after then he knew that he had to phase. 

“He tried to kill Bella.” Paul reminds her. 

I latched onto his bicep in fear. 

“He wanted to be like us!” She yells, beginning to walk closer.

“Move back.” Paul whispers, shoving me backwards. 

His body bursts into one of a large grey wolf, snarling. He backs up closer to me, protectively standing in front of my trembling frame. 

“Cute.” Irina scoffs.

Before I could even blink, she was running at us. Thankfully Paul was able to actually see her as he met her in the middle. He threw her into a nearby tree, snapping it in half. Paul runs over to where she landed, hoping to just destroy her. 

“Where the hell are the rest of them?” I mumble under my breath, panic fully setting in. I tore my eyes from Paul and Irina and look into the tree line, hoping to see the rest of the pack. 

Irina was a seasoned vampire, she knew what she was doing. I had all my faith in Paul, but I worried for his safety greatly. 

A loud wine caused my blood to run cold. It was Paul. Irina had crushed his ribs. 

“Paul!” I scream, almost running over, but I couldn’t bring myself to run-- it was like my legs were made of concrete. 

It was then that my eyes almost bulged from my skull. I watched as she grabbed him from the neck, killing him instantly. I watched as his lifeless body slumped to the ground, his eyes rolling. 

“I’ll protect you until my dying breath.” The memory of Paul’s voice rang through my head, echoing around the walls of my skull. He meant those words more than anyone else would ever have. 

I immediately fell to my knees, screaming but nothing came out. I tried to run over, but I couldn’t get up from my collapsed state. I was stuck to look into the love of my life’s dead eyes. 

Until she stalked over to me, far too slowly. She grabbed me by the throat, lifting me off the ground with an enormous smile on her face. 

I watched as the rest of the pack charged out of the treeline, though it wasn’t before she bit me. 

I fell to the ground as Irina was grabbed by Sam and Jacob-- being destroyed. 

I was flailing on the ground, convulsing as the venom surged through my body. It felt like there was no longer blood traveling through my veins-- it felt like fire, like corrosive acid. I was looking around, screaming-- trying to get up and run to Paul. But I couldn’t, my eyes simply just faded to black-- ignoring the signals my brain was attempting to send to them. Suddenly, I was void of all sight and sound. 

Suddenly, I hear my screaming again and I’m sweating profusely. Anxiety coursing through my veins. 

“(Y/N), wake up. Please.” Paul begs, gently shaking me awake. 

My eyes shoot open and see a worried Paul leaning over me, clutching onto me for dear life. I immediately grab him, pulling him into me. 

“(Y/N), you had a nightmare. You’re okay, I’m here. I’m here, baby.” He whispers, raking his fingers through my hair as he held me close. 

He picks me up, placing me in his lap, shushing me as I sobbed into his chest.

“I got you, baby. I’m here. It was just a nightmare. It’s okay.” His raspy voice soothes. 

“P-Paul.” I choke on my sobs.

“Shhhh, talk about it when you calm down.” His warm hand rubbing circles on my back, my head on his chest. 

Hearing his heart beat was the best thing I had ever heard. I was so grateful to hear it, to feel his chest warm. To see him alive. 

We sat there for a few minutes, waiting until my uncontrollable sobs turned into slight sniffles.

“Do you wanna talk about it?” He whispers into my ear. 

I nod, pulling away to look at him. I felt that it was better to tell him, afraid this dream was an omen of sorts. Maybe to consult with Alice. 

“I’m just so happy to see you.” I press my forehead onto his. 

His warm hands stayed on my waist, his eyes never tearing away from mine, patiently waiting for me to tell him about my nightmare. 

_______________________________

Word Count: 1166

A/N: yeah sorry I love you guys tho, don’t kill me lmaooooo I just wanted a little bit of a angsty thing, I wanted a shocker. I wanted to scare some of ya. Please lemme know if you enjoyed or not. Including a very soft Paul. 

#paul lahote #paul lahote x reader #paul lahote imagine #sam uley #jacob black #jared cameron #quil ateara #embry call #leah clearwater #seth clearwater #twilight #twilight x reader #JUST READ TO THE FUCKIN END OK