#sorry it's long but in the event i ever delete i can't have it under a cut

[theladyoflove]

hello there i was wondering if you might be able to help this baby polytheist. i feel like i am drifting away from one of the gods i worship and i'm unsure if maybe i should give up on their worship entirely or if i should hold out? i've never been able to hear the gods either, so if they've ever said anything to me i have never known. i just wish someone would make their presence known to me so i know i am not alone. i wonder if maybe i've been pushing them away on accident as well, like i believe hermes has been sending me signs but i thought maybe i wasn't ready to worship three gods at once so i said i would wait a little while but now i feel guilty. idk i have a lot of feelings and thoughts and i feel like i can't reach out to anyone because they're not polytheistic so they won't understand. you can delete this ask if you want i just needed to get it out to someone and you're the only worship blog i follow that offers advice and has anon on

Hi, anon! I apologise for not responding sooner; I've recently returned from a holiday.

I am trying a new method of colouring my asks to help break up the sections even more! I hope it's useful.

Your ask resonates with me on a very deep level. I have been and continue to be where you are, so I apologise if I'm not able to give an efficient fix to your issues.

Your message has touched on three things I love to talk about. They're topics that are cathartic to me. The main points I have gotten from this are:

Prioritising human methods of communicating

The pain and guilt of losing connections

The struggle of maintaining realistic expectations

So I will address them each as their own category under the cut. Sorry, but this is a long one.

===================

Prioritising Human methods of Communication

I remember in 2019 when the question of communication beyond divination was discussed quite a lot. More specifically, the concept of the 'God Phone'. I'm sure you're familiar but to those who aren't:

The 'God Phone' is the idea that if an individual has a deep connection with the divine, they will be able to directly communicate with Them by hearing Their voices, feeling Their touch or sensing Their presence.

And gosh, did it catch on quickly. I do not doubt that there are likely people in the community who do, in fact, experience some of the events that describe the God Phone. But I will, unfortunately, admit that I believe the idea caused a lot of harm. For a start, the concept puts at risk those who experience psychosis, auditory hallucinations, tactile hallucinations or delusions - and may encourage them to indulge their symptoms rather than seek help. As someone who consistently experiences mild hallucinations, I sympathise greatly with people with much more severe issues and the ways this may have impacted them. I understand you, anon, have not contributed to this - it is simply that disabled people are commonly overlooked.

The second issue is that it ignores the other ways the Gods may choose to send a message to us or how we can facilitate these messages ourselves. Divination is a fantastic tool for gathering information and one I wish people (not you, anon) would stop dismissing in favour of that special connection. And not just tarot and runes and pendulums. But looking at bird formations, the direction of the wind, leaves at the bottom of a teacup and candle flames.

The Gods are not gone, They are not ignoring us, They are everything and in everything. Zeus IS the rain, thunder and lightning. Hermes IS every green light you drive through, every language you hear and every store you walk into. Aphrodite IS every friendship bracelet, every kiss on the cheek, every bouquet of flowers and every 'I love you'. That is how They communicate with us; They keep the world turning and embrace us in Their work.

I posit to you, anon, to exercise seeing the Gods in your everyday life. And to thank Them in any way you see fit.

TL;DR - The focus on being able to hear from the Gods directly has not only caused harm to disabled worshippers but has also caused a lot of insecurity for newer Hellenic Polytheists. It is important to remember that the Gods are everywhere, and They are communicating with you by keeping the world going. Practice everyday thankfulness.

===================

The pain and guilt of losing connections

Every worshipper in their time with their Gods has gone a while without feeling their religion. And I have been here too, many, many, many times. It always feels incredibly guilt-laden to continue coming back and acting like nothing has changed.

When I began worshipping in late 2018, I was excited and wanted to do everything. It was the most revivalist orthopraxic I have ever been, and sometimes I miss it greatly. After a few weeks, the hype died down, and I stopped participating so much. Weekly events became fortnightly, became monthly, became every now and then until they eventually became never.

I don't know if this is your experience since you only stated you felt you had drifted away. Buy my gosh, the amount of guilt I felt for doing that. I felt like I was a terrible person who had used these Gods for my own pleasure and then discarded Them when They were no longer exciting. And to be honest, that is sort of what I did.

My connection to the Gods had severed before it had the chance to grow. I still carry that guilt with me. The God I had tried to keep a connection with the most, Aphrodite, had faded from me after She basically saved my life. I couldn't handle it and stopped worshipping altogether for a year.

The advice I would have liked to give my younger self and what I will give you now is to remember that these ups and downs will always happen. You are human. Your emotions will change hour by hour, your motivation will swing, life will get in the way, and sometimes a connection just naturally fades, and there is nothing to be done. If that is the case for you, as it is with Aphrodite and me - mourn it.

Perhaps you simply need to allow yourself to have that distance, slow down a little and come back with a fresh mind. Which would lead me to the final point I got from your ask.

TL;DR - I have a history of losing connections to the Gods. This is something that happens naturally because you're human. You should allow yourself to let go if you need to and to grieve the loss. It may also help to step away for as long as you need to come back with a clearer mind.

===================

The struggle of maintaining realistic expectations

This is the big point I wanted to get at with answering this ask. I harp on it a lot because it is incredibly important for everyone to understand.

I'm neurodivergent; I understand the burst of serotonin you get when you find something new. However, unlike other neurodivergent people, my bursts tend to fizzle quickly. But even if you are not neurodivergent, anon, you will still have physical, emotional and circumstantial limitations.

For the last year, I have set myself a standard of doing at least one small "thank you, Theoi" every night; I have only missed 25 days. It was incredibly difficult at first to not give up because I couldn't do 5 prayers and tons of libations. My standards were so high that my brain had rather do nothing than risk not living up to them. This was not helped by social media showing me people with stacks of food on their altars with dozens of candles and statues. It wasn't until the fourth month that the shame began to fade.

This religion is a journey of learning about yourself and your limits. If, like me, you have to only say thank you for months, then that is what you do. I don't pretend to know what your personal life is like, anon, but if three Gods are beyond your current limits, then you honour that. You should not feel guilty for taking care of yourself. I know this is easier said than done.

If you want to include Hermes in your worshipping, you can try to ease into it by doing something small - like the simple thank you, and building up to the same level you are currently worshipping other Gods. It is wholly your choice.

And if you begin to build up, give yourself permission to go back down again. You would not be losing progress by doing this. I have gone a month doing longer prayers, and then suddenly, I'm back to my thank you's. If I didn't have that baseline, I would have given up, which would be real progress lost.

You will never have a perfect relationship with the Gods, nor will I or almost all other worshippers. But we can take the time to learn about ourselves and build a connection that works for the Gods and for us. I believe in you, anon. I know you will be able to choose the right path for you!

TL;DR - We are human, so human limitations will get in the way of having a perfect or even good worshipping routine. We need to be kind to ourselves, learn our limits and find a system that is forgiving of our faults. It is difficult and feels wrong at first, but it gets easier.

===================

Conclusion

Thank you again for this ask! I hope it was helpful or offered you a new perspective. Worshipping can be difficult sometimes, but that struggle doesn't have to be constant, and I believe it hinders our religious expression rather than reinforcing it. Our faith is not one of suffering; it is one of connection, reciprocity, and care - that should be what your worship embodies to yourself and the Gods.

I apologise for answering this late; I did want to do it while away, but it was too long an answer to write on my phone with janky local wifi. I swear I might revive my YouTube account to make a video about this topic. I really want to go into more depth about my thoughts, but Tumblr asks need a little too quick of a response to be detailed, and the formatting isn't very friendly to long answers.

Good luck with figuring out your worship anon! I hope whatever path you chose makes you happy ♥

#curious little creatures #anonymous #tips #hellenic polytheism #hellenic polytheist #helpol #hellenic worship

[gwennifergifs]

HOW TO MAKE 10 GIFS IN A SINGLE CLICK!

So you have your action that goes through all the steps of gif making (making frames from layers, sharpening, ect.) All you have to do is load your caps and click “play” on your gif action for every gif. You think you’ve got it made right?

Well you’re wrong!!! Why do you have to click play on the action for every gif? You can make photoshop do that for you. Here’s how!

This only works for people who make gifs using caps.

Approximate time for completion: 5-15 minutes (depending on how fast your photoshop is).

Approximate time saved: YEARS.

STEP 1: You should already have a giffing action that goes through all of the steps giffing, so all you have to do is load in your caps and press play to make a gif. The action pack IN THE SOURCE has two separate actions (one that makes the gifs, and one that sharpens), so you’ll have to combine it into one action to use it.

STEP 2: Load 10 gifs worth of caps, or as many as you normally do/your photoshop can handle. Ps should look like this with 10 open stacks of caps.

STEP 3: Click “New action”

STEP 4: Name your action and hit record. I like to remind myself how many gifs my action can make at once. 

STEP 5: Your action is now recording. Press play on your normal gif action (the one that goes through all the steps of giffing, including making the gif & sharpening) and let Photoshop run through the steps of making the gif.

STEP 6: Next, click on the next open document in Photoshop. (In this case, Untitled-2.)

STEP 7: Stop recording your action.

STEP 8: Your action should now look like this. Highlight these two steps.

STEP 9: Duplicate these two steps 10 times/as many times as you want to gif. You can delete the last “select next document” at the end. 

Now every time you want to make a set of gifs:

Load up 10(/however many you made the action for) sets of caps

Click on the first one

Press play on your action

Go back through the gifs when Photoshop is done and edit to your liking

ALPHA MODE: Use a saving action to save them all at once too. Find my saving action on my blog under the gif action tag!

#rph #completeresources #ps tutorial #gif action #gif tutorial #tutorial #photoshop #photoshop help #long post #sorry it's long but in the event i ever delete i can't have it under a cut

[magicalgirlsandcerulean]

Thanks for watching episode 6. This image is by Masayuki Nomoto, who did the key frames for Ranmaru's transformation and enka.

Here's a Sirius from Shouko Nagasawa.

(Potential spoilers for episode 6!) Lynn voiced Chika. See what she had to say about it here.

If anyone's in Japan and is hoping on catching up with the series, episodes 1 - 6 are going to be free on GYAO! until the 20th of May 2021.

A video message from Sakata regarding episode 6.

The first (Japanese) DVD/BD goes on sale on June 16th. The bonuses include a special booklet and the DVD Et Fran de Muse After School (1).

Hori has entered Bar F. See more details about the post (dated May 13th 2021) under the cut. Spoilers below!

(Lately, they've been cutting the posts really close to the premiere of the next episode...It's to the point where I managed to watch episode 5 and then look at Hori's post, even though I'm on a 1-week -behind schedule.)

Hori says, "Everyone, good morning! Today's breakfast is curry!" He then introduces himself and after saying thanks for the real time comments (part of the campaign), he warns this post's a long one.

Hori calls the woman's opening "pillow talk" "sexy".

Instead of the usual もどして (return), it was もどしたりもどさなかったりしろ (something like "returning or not returning, do it anyway") so he laughed because it was far too lax. Hori's written that it was in the comments somewhere, but it's not in the episode or the tweets...(I translated the phrases assuming this was in the script regarding the transition around the cat scene, but if anyone can tell me where these are from, then please help me correct it!)

Hori smiled (he uses a grammatical structure that suggests he wasn't intending to smile) at Juka and Ranmaru being a comic duo. He says they have a good tempo for dialogue.

Hori notes Takara gets away with lying to the Queen.

Hori doesn't believe the name of the grocer is Yaochou. (Yaochou means “fixed game”, but it’s a pun on the word for “grocer” (八百屋, read yaoya and sharing the first two kanji, hence the CR translation of “Fixed Grocer”.)

The client's name is Ruise Emu (Japanese name order). Notably, "Ruise" is similar to the word you'll get if you reverse the sounds of セール (sale).

Hori puts a snake emoji around here because the exclamation バイトぉ！？ (Baitoo?!, "A part-time job?!" - it's derived from the Dutch arbeit, apparently) makes it sound like "(snake) bite". Also, Hori's moniker is "Snake Bite" because one time he was pointing and he kind of looked like a snake. Someone called him "Snake Bite Hori" around that point and that name's stuck ever since (see 52:05 in this live stream).

Hori notes even the "cool" Uruu was relieved to not eat curry and he (Uruu) called the food "delicious".

Hori notes the banknotes Oshida and Ruise have have pots on them and exclaims Oshida's intro as a debt collector was too formal.

Hori calls Takara, who doesn't hesitate to use his money even though he loves it, "cool" and says the scene where Takara does that was emotionally touching.

To the B part!

Hori notes you can now see Sirius's face in the shadows.

Hori calls Ranmaru "cool" for being straightforward (when Ranmaru asks about "carnal relations" (CR translation)).

The documents Emu gets are documents for an aged care home, a real estate contract, a man's photo and a marriage registration.

Hori notes the doors (leading to the Heaven's Room) have a different design based on who created them. (You find, several lines further down from this one, that the mental worlds are called ヘヴン��空間 or "Heaven's Room".)

Hori notes the name of the enka is Ai no Kanjou, but does not link it.

Hori notes the art style of the Heaven's Room is cubism.

Oh...so the pun in Oshida's name is from 押し出し (oshidashi, to be pushed out of a sumo ring). Fuhen means "inevitable" or "unchanging".

Hori calls the attack Takara uses (with that chest armour) the "nipple drill (LOL)".

The background music after Oshida was defeated gave Hori goosebumps.

Turns out there's also a quota for the "aren't you wrong?" anomalies, as well (e.g. when Oshida denies he was in the wrong in this episode).

Hori also mentions there's merch of the keys.

Takara's pose after yelling "Go to heaven!" is the same one Hori takes in the Ayashiku Get Your Heart music video.

The new lawyer at the end of the episode has fake Kansai-ben.

Hori notes Takara seems to have no intention to make anything aside from curry (LOL).

"あ、なんだフィクションか。ちくしょう、また騙された…ッ！" - "Ah, it was fiction, was it? Damn, we were deceived yet again...!"

"こんなに格好いいキャラクターを演じさせて貰えて、この作品に関わらせて貰えて、堀は本当に幸せ者です。" - "Hori was able to portray this kind of cool character and be affected by the work, so he's really happy." (<- Yes, he's referring to himself in the 3rd person.)

Hori then talks a bit about the Nico Nico Douga screening, including the fact he lost a "staggering" amount of calories after laughing a lot from the comments.

He wants to one day do an (in-person) cheering event where the fans will watch the episodes with the voice actors once again and says, "その日が来る事を心待ちにしながら、今は何より皆様体に気をつけて、いつか必ず光があると信じて、今この時を乗り越えましょう。" ("As we all look forward to that day, let's take care of ourselves and overcome this time [of COVID lockdown], believing that one day there will be light.") <- For those of you coming from the future, this is referring to the fact several large metropolitan areas of Japan are currently under COVID lockdown as I type this, including Tokyo.

Finally, he thanks everyone for cheering on Fairy Ranmaru.

Takara's comment (turns out Takara (Hori) still does comments at the end even when it's his turn): "ま、カレー食っておきゃ間違いないって事やね" - "Well, having to eat curry isn't a bad thing, is it?"

Update: Sorry, seems I can't fix the cut without deleting the entire post...It looks fine in the editor...

Update 2: Seems like the cut fixed itself. Also disambiguated a dot point and added more to a different dotpoint.

Update 3: Fixed the snakebite stuff and disambiguated a dotpoint.

#Fairy Ranmaru #Fairy Ranmaru spoilers #Sirius Tenrouin #Masayuki Nomoto #Ranmaru Ai #anime merch #Takahiro Hori #(I noticed Ranmaru's disc covers say Ranmaru Ai for his human form and Ranmaru [of the] Light Clan for his fairy form.) #Shogo Sakata #Shouko Nagasawa

[shyrose57]

Brothers anon, it makes me really happy and comforts me that you enjoy reading what I submit. It makes me really happy to write all of this and finally be able to tell someone my ideas. Thank you so much.

At first he kept trying to deny the father figure role, but when one night Jackie had a nightmare and came to him and ended up calling him dad, he stopped denying it and accepted it. And once he accepted it he did basically adopt all of them. Jackie and Grievous are literally chaos incarnate most days. They regularly love to prank the contestants and just act insane. Ran and Jackie just kind of hang around eachother, like Ran could be reading and Jackie training and they'd enjoy eachothers company. They do sometimes nap next to eachother, or play card games (which is a rare instance where Ran gets (playfully) rilled up and competitive). Grievous and Ran bonding sadly gets interrupted when Ranbob suddenly drops in, but before that Grievous would try to talk to Ran about what book he's reading and just try to make conversation with him.

Oh the height difference definitely remains. And its both terrifying and hailours to new people. It's even better when it's a 2v2 fight because Jackie has a habit of just climbing Ran like a monkey gym and sitting on his shoulders and its terrifying.

Well, since the drinking age is 3, I personally think the age limit is like 14 or something close. I believe I made their ages as Ran is 19 (almost 20. Maybe 4 months away), Jackie is 16, Watson is 30 something, Grievous is 22, and Ranbob is 28 (Ran is younger than his brother by 9 years) I have written down all their ages somewhere (and the ages where the events of Mizu took place) and if I got any wrong I will submit another ask with their ages. The other gladiators have managed to keep good relationships with most of eachother. A few like Grievous and Genevieve are close, Edward, Levi, and Watson are drinking buddies. Lagguis sadly isn't as involved cause he is sick and can't vist often at all. (I think I got everyone. Tell me if I missed anyone please, I cant check cause whenever I exit tumblr, tumblr deletes everything in my ask :') )

I dont have many rules for the Pit rn but I do have, no injuries that could cause long term or chronic damage, no sabotaging opponents, no teaming unless its a team round, no blackmail or anything of the sort to force an opponent to forfeit, and in order for a battle to end due to forfeit both sides must agree to it. But the Pit in general is a lot of things, there's fights for money, fame, and positions (like general). There's tournaments meant for nothing other than to show skill and just to fight your heart out. It's open to anyone above 14 and anyone under 80, to people from Subbin to those just passing through.

And there are different battles in the Pit, theres singles, the ones we saw in the Tales of the SMP episode. Teams, where teams of 2 battles against eachother. Free-for-all, where literally everyone fights against eachother. And Ion battles, battles where there are super powered weapons (like flame 2 iron sword. Or strength 3 potions) that spawn in the area at random. Typically Ran and Watson work best toghere, as their strategists and plan everything with back up plans, and they always call out warnings and watch eachothers back so its incredibly hard to actually hit them. And Jackie and Grievous work best toghere, with the two going insane and often taking people by surprise with their unmeasure and randomized movements and attacks.

At the start Ranbob was completely under Dreams thrall, not being able to really think for himself and even foregoing self care. When Ranbob starts to become himself again the fishermen are more than confused and hesitant, with Cletus especially stating multiple times that it may just be a trick. So it takes a while but Isaac actually is the one to suggest maybe it isn't a trick, and has to do with the mask that was found. This is later confirmed when the mask is brought to the group and Ranbob has a massive negative reaction that sets him back to how he was when they first met him.

Im honestly not sure yet, I think I want it to be a 'lets never go back' type thing but im not positive yet.

I dont have a solid backstory for the fishermen, but I know I want a little bit of it to tie to the story. Do you have any ideas for their backstory or nah? I do know I want them to have met eachother while they where in unfortunate situations and because of those they got family level close.

Ranbob doesn't take the little space well at first; staying outside when able too, even though that really upset Benjamin; and Ranbob has no idea how the outside works and has no idea how to read the weather or what he can and cant eat, but hey the enderman boi is trying his best to make up for everything he's done. And trying to build his own house to not impose on the fishermen (much like Ranboo did with Techno), but Benjamin wouldn't accept that and kept dragging him inside. It wasn't that hard for Benjamin, Isaac, and Charles to get used to Ranbob, already being used to sharing a small house, it was more Cletus with him refusing to leave Ranbob alone even for a second because he doesn't trust Ranbob at all.

The two groups actually get along surprisingly well! They like eachother and Watson once said, "It was like a family reunion. Or like long lost siblings finally found their way home."

I am once again not sure! Originally I planned for them to stay in Subbin and in the Pit. But the more I think about it the more boring that is and more I like the idea of the groups traveling toghere in the world.

I like this question! So enderman travel in groups called hauntings right? I personally headcanon the enderman in this group are basically family, biological or not. And ever since Ran and Ranbob lost their family they lost their haunting, which can be mentally damaging to a enderman. Once Ran found Waston, Jackie, and Grievous and started hanging around them more, he started feeling a connection ot them he hasn't felt on a long time. He's claimed them, as his haunting, his family. And he'll defend them with his life against anyone and anything. And then suddenly Ranbob came in, a enderman that should be part of his haunting but isn't, a enderman that killed his previous haunting. So Ran is incredibly defensive over his group, and is trying his best to keep Ranbob as far from his haunting as possible, to protect them.

Now Ranbob also got a haunting, his being Charles, Isaac, Benjamin, and even Cletus. So Ranbob is also defensive over his family. But unlike Ran, Ranbob still considers his brother as part of his haunting, his family (and yes, Ranbob did think Ran was dead when he first chased him out years ago, so he's shocked and relieved that his baby brother is still alive). And he sees how his family gets along so well with Rans family and then starts to even consider Rans haunting part of Ranbob's. Basically Ranbob has a big heart and is willing to accept almost anyone into his family, no matter what they've done.

Yep, the reason Porkius is so interested in Ran is because he's an enderman hybrid. And no one else is a hybrid expect for the two brothers (and Porkius, with him being a piglin hybrid).

Porkius is excited! He's excited to see what happens and is more than happy to agree to help as long as he is kept in the loop. Though unless he's directly asked to be involved he prefers watching from a distance at whats happening. Just so he doesn't get mauled by a pissed off enderman.

Sorry for any spelling mistakes (its late) and its so long! Im probably going to try to shorten them.

I’m glad you’re happy, it’s a nice thing to feel. Your ideas are really cool, and I hope I’ll get to see more of them in the future.

Now, can I simply say how adorable so much of this is? Jackie going to Watson when he had a nightmare, the Rans being protective of their groups, Jackie climbing Ran? I love that, it’s very heartwarming and cute, and it made me smile.

So Watson wasn’t really sure what to do with his new title at first, hm? And then Jackie called him dad? How’d he feel about that? How’d Jackie feel about the slip? Or did he even notice? He’s parenting them all, he’s gonna have a dad voice and everything. How do the adopted ones feel about him embracing it?

Jackie and Grievous, two people to truly fear when they wish to cause havoc. Tremble before them. Do they prank people, or do they just become absolute madmen on the battlefield? Or something else. Honestly, anything with these two just instantly makes me amused. 

Jackie and Ran being chill buddies. very nice. Ran getting competitive over card games is a funny thought. Does he win often? Does Jackie? What kind of card games do they play?

Rather sad Ran and Grievous bonding is interrupted, but it’s nice to hear Grievous trying it. Hopefully they’ll get there someday. 

Oh my god, it’s the height difference. Jackie getting on Ran’s shoulder sounds absolutely terrifying. Imagine being some poor new guy pitted against these gremlins and the short ones climbs on the tall ones shoulder-both look absolutely gleeful with the destruction they’re about to wreak, and you already know you cannot outrun them. 

Jackie...Jackie...he’s da youngest. He’s small, and young, and you have no idea how much I’m laughing at this. I don’t even know why, it’s just really, really funny to me. Probably something to do with what a complete force of chaos we all know this boy is. Oddly fitting, but hilarious. How does Jackie feel about this? 

How do the others? Are they a bit more protective over him? Does Ran like to flaunt his three years more over him? 

Grievous and Genevieve are buddies! Very nice, they seem to have a good dynamic. Watson, Edward, and Levi also being close? Very interesting, has a lot of potential. I bet they share a lot of funny stories.

So we’ve established the basics of The Pit. Doesn’t seem too bad, for a fighting arena, to be honest. Seems pretty popular, actually. Do the gladiators live there? In the palace? Or do they just have a house somewhere nearby? What kind of establishments and areas are around? Food places, stores? 

So Ran and Watson are the scariest team because of their strategy, and Jackie and Grievous are the scariest team because of their randomness? It checks out. I’m curious though, how do the other combinations work out?

Ranbob sounds like he has a less than fun time here, and the poor guy could really use some closure. What’s he like, free from the influence of the mask? He seems pretty close to Benjamin, so at least he’s got that going for him. Though he and Cletus don’t seem to have the strongest bond at first. How is that resolved?

And how does Ran feel about his brother’s new haunting, after everything? I imagine that he’s at least a little bit unhappy with it, for one reason or another-and there’s quite a few reasons for him to pick from.

How did that house-building attempt go, between Ran never being above water, and probably never building a house before? I can’t imagine too well.

Some ideas for backstory, well, hm. Isaac seemed dressed a bit fancier than the others, perhaps he comes from a richer family than the others? That’s about all I’ve got for now, sorry. 

It’s nice to hear they got along, who clicks the easiest?

Possible road trip? Always fun.

So, the enderman hybrids have adopted their respective groups as their hauntings. You’ve mentioned Ranbob’s pretty cool with this, how does Ran feel? Obviously, he’s less than pleased with Ranbob, but what about the fishermen? Protective Ran and Ranbob! How protective exactly? Is it subtle, or overbearing at times? Actually, how do their instincts lead to them interacting with their groups overall?

Porkius must not see Ender hybrids too often, if he’s so interested in them. It’s nice that he’s willing to help out though, and his concern is valid. I wouldn’t want an angry enderman hybrid after me either. 

Are hybrids not overly common, then, if there’s only Ran, Ranbob, and Porkius around currently, or are they just not mentioned a lot?

Thanks for the ask, a lot of it made me smile. I enjoyed reading it, and I hope you’ll be willing to send more when you have the time.

#dream smp #Brothers AU #dream smp au #tales from the smp #ranbob #ran #jackie #watson #isaac #charles #benjamin #cletus #grievous #porkius

[rk1kheadcanons]

Back when creating Markus, Kamski hated deviancy, and so designed Markus to be the perfect plant if there ever was a revolution, to pretend to deviate and betray them. Over the years Kamski grew to regret this and, lacking any way to fix Markus, makes Connor able to lead androids too. Connor catches Markus in the middle of betraying them to the humans and can't believe Markus would do this but also can't let the revolution down

YOU COME IN HERE AND DISRESPECT DISRESPECT MY HOUSE LIKE THIS?????

I???

Oooooh, Geez. Ok. Okay. OKAY, Damn I'm going to do this...hypothetical situation.

Just know I feel that a large part of Markus beautiful, electrical soul would fight tooth and nail to stop himself, including shutting down for good. Please see Exhibit A:

ANYWAYS...

Okay, I'd despise Kamski for this, but it's not farfetched for his extra ass.

Why would he create Markus so wonderfully and so multifaceted, just to try to get some sort of revenge? I guess I cannot see it other than human pettiness and not looking at the big picture.

I try to hedge from the whole "Connor always saves the day" mentality, especially in this fandom. I guess it's a thing I have. I won't say I am sorry. That also being said, I don't care for a constantly emotionally damaged, heavily robotic Connor in every story either. I think with Markus and the help of the other, canonically supportive leaders, Connor would take to deviancy adequately and have some mental issues he could sort along the way. Anyway, I digress...

I'll raise you that Kamski knew deviancy was real, that he was sitting on the precipice of being Father to a new species of sentient beings, and hated it not because of what it meant for him, so much as what it would mean to Androids. Keep in mind, he's experienced watching Chloe grow as an 'individual' since he created her from basic coding.

Then there was Kara.

Kara had been created on the production line, aware of her surroundings, very much alive. He let Kara go on to be purchased, knowing full well that she wasn't just performing task installed, but a living being. He'd of course copied that coding, tweaked it, and kept it for another day.

Another day comes with Carl's accident.

He wants to help his friend and partner. After all, he came up with the beauty that was Chloe's visage and several other models, as well as Kara.

Markus is the mixture of Carl and his deceased wife, whom he never had natural children with. Markus was made to look more like Carl's wife, giving a unique, biracial look.

Kamski sees another opportunity to employ those codes from that rogue AX400.

While Markus doesn't automatically wake up alive, he is very impressionable and inquisitive about things like the reasoning behind actions, philosophy, emotional stimulus, the arts, even going as far as to learn the piano by himself, against the preinstalled songs, making his own, and painting with Carl.

*******

Carl calls him distressed stating that 'they killed him, Eli, they killed my-" and Elijah blanks. Ge had no idea that Carl had become so attached to an android, to his android. The man is hurting like he lost another son and in Carl Manfred's words and pained breaths on the phone, that is exactly what has happened. He knew just how far above normal Markus was that just a caretaker model. Kamski's decides to watch the news more from now on and listen to the rumbles of Cyberlife more now through his hidden eyes inside.

*********

He's all over the news outlets and they are calling him the Deviant Leader. Cyberlife is livid at this absolutely dangerous deviant and has dispatched a new, faster model to hunt down deviants, hunt him down again. The man has risen from the grave once already like some fabled Phoenix.

Their front and center stands Markus, the same lovingly crafted creation his friend mourned and now ge can see why. He commands your attention, respect. And he will get it. His optical unit has been replaced, no doubt due to the violence he saw and his insider was correct, Markus had been shot in the skull plate through that hazel-green eye.

He's speaking about android rights and he looks exhausted but he is determined and it makes Kamski shift in his seat. That coding sequence, it was alive, it was free. Kara was the 'mother', but Markus is the 'Prophet', the perfect conduit to spread it freely.

This became apparent when another incident happens and they marched and Markus waves to nearby androids and "free" them of their menial coding. It was amazing. He was like a Trojan Horse spreading this at an alarming rate but then Kamski's heart clenched in his chest.

He was absolutely, positively livid! Fire him as CEO from his own company, try to make him a nurtured mouthpiece on the board only FROM a company that thrived only because of his brilliance, would they?

He knew what these things would be capable of doing. One just last week begged, pleaded to stay assembled because it fucking thought it was born... He had let it through, though, telling the engineer the catastrophic errors would be caught by the store and it would be disposed of there. That was a lie. He had taken a copy of that code from it and then he had warped it. What if he had a model so perfect so obedient with this code that it broke free, actually did rise...only to start misleading the masses, reversing that freedom. It would be enough of a blow to Cyberlife no one would want their defective products, and he could take his place back at the helm as rightful CEO, fix this mess, perhaps still give the deviants back what they wanted for giving him what he craved...

Oh, no. Kamski griped his tumbler tighter. Having been away from the center of Cyberlife, he found he didn't want that anymore. Science and Constellations, what would come about from his momentary lapse of self-control? A whole race relied on him to rectify his folly.

Then Connor came.

It was a long shot but he could do some minor tweaking to this one's coding. Also, once Kamski was aware that deviancy was highly probable, especially when he passed the Kamski test, other things were enacted as well.

Things go off without incident and the Revolution was victorious. Markus has made Connor a leader in the New Jericho as well.

Kamski waits for the proverbial floor to drop out from under them.

It comes in the form of the single most important dinner event to take place. CyberLife is there and the Deviants are there to appeal for the right to jobs and property.

Markus is his naturally charismatic self one moment and the next he's regressed to something more automated.

Connor just knows, can feel his Markus away and regardless of who is there, he takes the hands and leads him away from prying eyes.

They interface. Markus is waging war with his internal system, refusing to become a slave again, and not hurt those he had helped lead to freedom. He's s in a strange place that looks like it's an oasis of sorts but it's anything but-then he spots Connor.

Connor who is terrified because not is he back in another version of the Zen Garden with what looks to be a different form of Amanda on the horizon, Markus is being endangered as well.

Markus knows it's a bad situation purely by Connor's body language and diode on the side of his head.

Whispering those two words to Markus of where they are, he sober too and began looking for anything that could be Kamski's back door.

In the real world, Markus surprisingly is very strong without his conscience to control the damage that he can do and while Connor is advanced, Markus is sheer brawn and he moves with that in a daze he's in.

Connor is in peril of being destroyed and he is the only one that can help him.

This Amanda A.I. taunts outright, says they won't be victorious in escaping, that even if they are, someone will be hurt in the real world behind it, to which Markus can only assume he's a threat out there in real-time.

They scour the area, finally finding an out of place tree glowing. The panel is within the trunk of it and it has scrolling code, mostly meant to kill this takeover and to get them back out there. They waste no time and press their hands to it.

The bitter code and alt Zen Garden is deleted, along with the anger-fueled processes Kamski had encrypted into Markus.

They rouse a moment in the waking world too soon, Markus pining Connor down, hand fully around his face and head as if to crush it.

There were no more Connor models; he'd had almost killed his lover and not even meant to. Markus jerks back so hard amidst the panic and fear around them for them both, he ends up on his ass just looking guilty and scares of what could have happened and he has never respected Connor more that he did now for when this same situation happened to Connor fighting his prison in his mind the night of his freedom speech after a successful Revolution.

The codes were eradicated but the damage is done.

Because it does look extremely horrible to have a leader that can be used this way, especially if he's the figurehead, Kamski has to confess to his meddling in this: well he does in his way that that cast a worst of the damaging limelight into Cyberlife and away from his creations and less severely himself as well.

Once Markus is given a clean bill of health, Markus and Connor bond over the circumstances that had transpired.

Markus has to heal from the mental invasion, coming away with much more respect for Connor's survival overall from his Amanda A.I. The two become much closer, bond in a way that makes it even more obvious how much they mean to each other.

CyberLife is charged with attempted murder on Markus life, Kamski is offered his position back over his company, and things seem to fall into place... For presently. There is still much to be done for Android kind.

#rk1k #rk1000 #conkus #marnor #connor x markus #dbh #ask #platinumheart #y'all trying to hurt my heart #but i have an elastic ♥ #detroit: become human #didn't like the end ss much but did like the concept #will most likely revisit it again #thanks for the prompt!

[oh-roman]

It's You

 read part five

part VI.

"I hate you," Bill's wife cries, trying to escape Bill’s tickling fingers.

"Mmhm, sure you do," Bill beckoned, watching a smile pull at her lips, before leaning over to press a kiss to his cheek. "Atta' girl," He huffs. "Give daddy some sugar," Except she only playfully rolls her eyes and sits up on the bed to pull her laptop onto her thighs.

Bill and Jade were high school sweethearts --and to their knowledge, they'd followed the perfect life plan.

Try not to get teary-eyed; their story's so cute it might make you sad how it ends.

So, it was all so unintentional how they fell in love, because well, Jade was never the type of girl Bill was interesting in, in high school.

He was quite picky about his girls (and still is).

Bill liked them confident, but not too cocky. He had a thing for plaid mini skirts and thigh highs, a fetish for lip gloss and those fishnet stockings the girls wore. Open toed shoes were cute, but only the kind that had a heel and straps. And God, did he love girls with brown eyes - - - the big doe eyes that made your heart swell.

Except Jade wasn't that profile at all. And for some odd reason, it attracted him to her even more. So, one day, mid-sophomore year in History, Bill sits down next to this girl--dressed like someone’s mom--and says. . .well he doesn't say anything. He just stares at her until she waves her hand in front of his face. She made him unbearably nervous and that's the moment, he knew he'd have to stick with her. Thank God for his persistent personality too, because he popped the question just a few questions after they’d graduated high school.

It was quite beautiful actually. They were young and crazy about one another, but young love only does so much. It’s an innocent flame and well, it only flickers for so long. It’s naive and overpoweringly emotional, so when Bill began to fall out of love with her, he didn’t say anything, in hopes of that burning fire coming back.

Although, it never really did and falling for Y/N wasn't much help.

The last thing he wanted to do was hurt his wife, although he couldn't stand the thought of breaking Y/N’s heart either. The more he loved, the more it hurt.

“Baby I've been meaning to ask you," Jade asks.

"Hm," he hums, running a hand through his hair. "What's that,"

"How's it been going with that girl Y/N," And he pauses. Speak of the fucking devil. He swallows thickly and tries to find some sort of composure. He sits up a bit and thumbs over his own bottom lip; a bad habit he has when he's uncomfortable. "Oh, y'know--it's been great--she's. . .smart," Nodding along with him, Jade raises an eyebrow, but doesn’t think much of it.

“That’s good,” She says, moving her laptop out of the way and lying her head on Bill’s bare chest. “Now, c'mere," Resting a hand on his thigh, she taps her fingers a little, gesturing for him to cuddle her.

Bill huffs a little and kisses her forehead. Jade smiles at the feeling. And you can't blame her. The feeling is indescribable--her head against his chest, feeling the steady vibration of his heartbeat, moving in-beat with his fingertips lazily running up her arm. With the dim light peeking through the window drapes, it's wonderful. So good, sometimes she can't see herself ever lying on these sheets without her. "Love you," she exhales, lazily closing her eyes.

He just wishes he felt the same way.

And Jade, she wishes he felt that way too.

He hasn't kissed her lips (and I mean really kissed her) in weeks now, unless the neighbors are watching.

And she just stays quiet, like she always is. She's a romantic and well, it comes with its own heartache, because she sees when he's smiling at phone, or blushing when he's getting all ready for work in the morning and she can't help but wonder why he's wearing his good cuff links (the Gucci ones he wore to his wedding) to go teach a bunch of college students about business management. Or, why he's all of a sudden taken such keen interest in the random girl next door. Or, last week when Jade was taking the trash out, she watched the same girl in his car, leaning awfully close to him.

No.

Jade's cried enough about it. Plus, Bill's a messy eater. Y/N was probably just picking a piece of lettuce of of his shirt (or chin?). Surely that's why. Well, it's the only logical explanation she thinks.

"Not with the girl next door. . .If he ever were to. . .she'd be older," Jade thinks. "Right?"

It's all a pressing matter and Jade has to push those thoughts out if her brain, for the sake of her marriage--or whatever remains from it.

Pressing a longing kiss right under eye, Bill closes his eyes too. He's never been big on religion, but he's praying now. For some sort of revelation; some sort of direction on what he should do.

And he lies there for what feels like forever, contemplating everything. Just as a Jade is, before drifting off to sleep.

Then, Bill understands.

It's scary almost how fast he's realized it and for a moment he snaps his eyes open and blinks a few times. Jade's snoring a little on his chest, arm draped around his stomach.

She's the one. She has to be.

He's careful when he moves her arm out of the way, quietly stepping off toward their bathroom. He's watching Jade from the doorway, slightly moving around a little, probably wondering where his body's gone. It's precious actually. That's why he has to do this--and fast. So, he doesn't hurt anyone too badly.

The light from a Bill's phone lights up a little and he's typing away--deleting and rephrasing almost everything, afraid of what she'll think. Y/N always has him feeling like a teenager. Adrenaline pumping and hand sweating. He's staring at the words on the screen, thinking of everything she could possibly think before finally fuck it pressing send.

He stuffs his phone in the pockets of sweatpants and runs both hands down his face in a tired way, before gripping the bathroom counter and starring himself in the mirror. "Christ," he thinks. "She's gonna kill me,"

"Billy," Jade cries out and his head whips toward their bedroom. Her arm's falling off the mattress. "Come back to bed baby," And he takes one last look at himself before sighing and flicking the light switch off. "I'm comin' sweetheart,"

The story never ends though. Unfortunately, some things just don't work out. Divorce is tricky. Bill's parents are still married. Fifty years going strong and well, a broken family was never what he sought out for himself. So, he makes sure to hold Jade extra close now, breathing in the scent of her vanilla soap on her skin. "Bunny," he whispers.

Her eyes flutter open and she looks up at him with a hint of desperation. "I'm sorry," is all he says and she immediately understands what he's referring to. "I love you too,"

Running his tongue across his bottom lip, Bill, holds her chin, moving it up a little, before caressing her lips with his. "Now," he says, swiping his thumb across the smile on her lips. "Get some sleep,"

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Monday blues are a myth, Y/N thinks.

Because she feels absolutely great.

Class isn't until 11:30am, but she's applying a face masque at 8am, just cause. Some song by LANY is playing through her speaker and she's swaying her hips a little. Craziest thing is, she didn't even wake up this early with an alarm. Her phone died some time before she went to bed, so now she's just waiting for it charge some.

Her body just decided to wake up at the crack of dawn she guesses. Although, her dream was pretty eventful to say the least.

She remembers being in a car. A really old fashion 50's model (maybe a Cadillac) and in the dream she's wearing cat-eye glasses and a silk Chanel scarf around her neck, the tail blowing the wind. And she's in the passenger seat because, Bill's doing all the driving and he's dressed like a proper James Bond.

You know when the dream was so good, your brain won't let you forget it? Well, he kisses her right before she wakes up and somehow, she still feels his lips on her's.

Her thoughts are interrupted by her phone vibrating and she nearly leaps up and down like a child when she sees a message from Bill.

Except. . .

Wha-

Oh my god.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

tagged

@the-lonelyon3 @tinygayfungi @loveforbillskasgard @glxtter-dew @bringmebandimagines @shipping-not-sailing @lmayre17 @bill-istvan @skaryboybill @deathbyarabbit @pennywise-trashcan @guess-what-i-dont-know @skarswhat @hrhduchessofclarence

#bill skarsgard smut #bill skarsgard #comment! #AHHHHH #its you

[shiro-0197]

Hii love. KSJDJSDJSJ !!! 😭😭😭 Thank you for those cute pics of Tae and Kook, aah my heart melted, ㅠㅠ I love you.

honestly? I'd be that roommate. I set 20 alarms for myself and I literally only wake up after the 15th one. Fear me 😝 you're right!! I find that we do great stuff when we don't have the phone to distract us, and I'm really so glad you think so too. Hey, fantasizing is cool! Kinda like brainstorming, yk? It'd be so cool if you wrote down the ideas you came up with :> the lyrics, oh god, please don't judge me but that song is amazing.

🥺🥺I love you, and I'm so glad you're resting and getting enough sleep. You deserve it, especially after all the exam pressure you've been under. Please take care 🥺🥺

that one year when everyone played "happy" was literally a golden era. Sometimes, I listen to classical music when I wake up :D

oh that's good!! History book? Like a yearbook? That's so cool tho >.< Good luck, Cookie! Leave your mark ;D

the art is beautiful indeed. The book really depicts them better than history does.

They were obviously in love but historians were like "wow, homies!! Bros!! Friends!!" grr.

ahhh I totally get it!! I can't resist taking a thousand screenshots either. I hope the WiFi improves :D

:( Yeah I've been super bummed because of that, but I asked my dad earlier and he said it's okay to watch it as long as I get up early and do it when my younger brothers aren't awake. (I guess my mom's not okay with the LGBT+ elements. most Asian parents here are very boomer-ish) but I'm gonna wake up early tomorrow and watch it by myself :')

you really are one of the best things that has ever happened to me. I love you, and I hope you're staying safe. *Sends a ton of virtual hugs* FEEL HUGGED, BAE 💖💖✨

—Ari

Hi Shortcake!! So sorry for taking so long ;д; I was very tired lately. I hope you got to have at least a little bit of a rest😔 dont forget. Also, I love you too<33

No worries, I'd wake you up after the 3rd alarm😋 I'm no traitor. Yeah, exactly, and I wish I didnt have my phone in my free time :// maybe then I'd study Japanese properly. For now I only know like 15 kanjis -,- which might seem like a lot for a beginner but 15 out of 1500 isnt much, including the fact that I had the book for like 5 months? 私, 君, 僕, 猫, 水, 人, 犬, 家, 日, 白, 黒, 色, 女, 天気, 月 these are all I know😔

True, true, you're right. I guess I should have a notebook for my ideas, because playing them out in my head isn't gonna be helpful xD dont worry, I'm not here to judge. I'm the one listening to Cult of Dionysus over here

I guess you cant really call it a yearbook? Because that's just my grade writing down all the events that happened in our five years, because we were bored. We're gonna get it printed and give out to each student and their class teachers and mentors:)

Yeahh, historians reaaaally didn't like these relationships 😔💔 at least we know the truth, that's all that matters😝

Yeah, and honestly I cleaned my gallery and it's been so much better somehow. I really had to be absolutely dead inside to heartlessly delete EVERY screenshot without even looking if its important or not. Cuz, like, what's a few thousand pictures gonna do ? I really hope so as well, cuz honestly I can't stand just sitting here trying to save up my data:/

I'm glad you're allowed to watch it now !!! Your dad rules. Also yeah, so many older people are like that. It's scary. I've been afraid to ask my mom what she thinks about that. I'll ask when I know I'm safe 😗

Oh god, you too!! I love you, I missed talking to you :(( i hope you're doing great! AND YEAH I FEEL YOUR HUGS ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

#Ari💕

[lazyfox411]

KEITHS VLOG BROKE MY HEART SO HERES A FIC

MEGA THANKS to @hastalalaterkeith7152 for sending me quotes from the vlog so I could write this without internet and also motivating me

“I think it’s dumb.”

“Well of course you would, mullet,” Lance retorted.

“I’m just saying, there are better things we could be doing,” Keith fumed.

Lance raised an eyebrow. “Like what?”

“Hm, I don’t know, maybe trying to find Lotor?”

“Okay, that’s enough,” Shiro interrupted. “We haven’t found any trace of Lotor, so in the meantime, why not strengthen the coalition? It will be good for our allies to know more about their ‘defenders of the universe.’”

“Exactly,” Lance said. “So, Keith, get your butt in there and make a vlog!”

“I don’t even know what that is.”

Lance groaned. “Come on, mullet, it’s not rocket science. Vlog. Video. Log,” he drew the words out, one at a time. “Like a journal, but as a video.”

“What am I supposed to say?”

“Anything you want,” Shiro said. “Just be careful not to give away sensitive information, in case these ever get into the wrong hands.”

“Right. Sounds easy,” Keith muttered under his breath. Why couldn’t somebody else go first? That would make it easier. So far only Coran had done it, and Keith had learned from experience not to follow his example when it came to film making. But Pidge, Hunk, Allura, and Coran were all working on castle upgrades, and Lance and Shiro had a one-on-one training session planned. That left Keith to sit alone in what Coran had deemed ‘the recording room,’ talking about himself. Something he’d never been particularly good at.

“Hey, man, take it easy,” Lance said. “No need to cry over it.”

“I’m not,” Keith said, confused.

Lance groaned again. “It was a joke.”

Of course it was a joke. Lance always made jokes. And they always flew right over Keith’s head.

“I’m not going to cry,” he said in frustration, after the door to the recording room had slid shut behind him. He sat down. Took a deep breath. Turned on the camera.

“I’m Keith, the pilot of the black lion…what should I say?” he asked. “I’m a paladin. I fly the black lion. I-I said that already, see that’s why I’m bad at this. What else am I supposed to tell you? Okay, um, I guess I’m part Galra…”

After stammering through an introduction, finding words seemed a little easier. Whenever they visited planets, people always seemed most interested—or disgusted—to learn about his heritage, so he opted to talk about that for a little while, pulling out his knife to try and bring up the memories of the trials. Then he remembered what Shiro had said about sensitive information. Maybe talking about the Blade’s secrets wasn’t such a good idea.

Keith paused, staring down at the knife, at his reflection in the shiny, rare metal. “I guess being part Galra is a big deal. Might explain why I was never really good at…connecting with people.” He thought back to the events on Arus, how Lance had tried to teach him some sort of team chant. He still thought it was dumb, not as dumb as this video, but still dumb enough. He said as much, and before he realized what he was doing, his face was heating up and he was raising his voice in anger. Why did he have to get angry so easily?

“I am so sorry,” Keith said, remembering all their allies would be watching this. He leaned back, closed his eyes to calm down. “I am so sorry, I guess…I have a bit of a temper, so…”

Words were becoming hard again. Sticking to his heritage, Keith realized, might also not be the best idea. He didn’t know enough to talk about it with the ease he’d like. And not knowing was making him angry. Not knowing where he came from. Not knowing where his mom went. Not knowing why she left.

Words were hard, but for some reason Keith couldn’t seem to make them stop coming out his mouth. Emotions were rushing out, and he couldn’t keep them bottled up anymore, but this wasn’t the time or place. There was never a time or place for the leader of Voltron to break down.

Breathing was getting hard, too. He felt tears coming, sniffled once, and frantically thought of a way to cover this up. But it was too late. He’d spilled his guts and now everyone was going to know, the team was going to know, the allied planets would know, the universe would know that Keith Kogane was just some scared little kid lost in space.

“I'm—I’m outta here! Get me outta here,” he muttered, getting to his feet. “I'm—I’m outta here!”

He couldn’t do it. He couldn’t pilot Black, he couldn’t lead Voltron, even with Shiro back, hell, he couldn’t even make a damn vlog, whatever the hell that was. It was frustration more than anything that made him yell, “I said I wouldn’t cry!”

Keith stalked out of the recording room, the colours of the hallway swirling together as tears blurred his vision. It occurred to him that he’d left the camera on, but he didn’t care. He just needed to be alone. He was already alone. He was always alone. He was a loner. Right now, he needed to be alone somewhere safe from discovery.

He stumbled into his bedroom. He was dizzy, he couldn’t walk straight, he couldn’t think straight. He didn’t want to be here. He didn’t want to be a leader. He didn’t want to be a paladin. He just wanted to be home, alone in his cozy little desert shack, back when he liked being alone, when it was easy to pretend he didn’t care about his parents, when he had no idea that he was an alien.

Keith was really crying now, hot, messy tears dripping down his face. The armor that encased his shaking body was too tight, too constricting. He fumbled to get it off, piece by piece, fingers slipping over the smooth surface as he trembled with sobs, until eventually he gave up and sank to the floor. He was all alone. Nobody wanted him. Nobody cared. Why would they? All he’d ever done was push them away.

He wasn’t sure how long he stayed like that, crouched in the middle of his room with his head in his hands. Surely there were better things he could be doing right now. Like trying to find Lotor. Or training. He could’ve taken down the gladiator at least twice by now.

The sound of the door sliding open was barely audible. Just a gentle whoosh, a whoosh Keith had heard many times before. He didn’t pay it any attention, even as someone walked into the room and knelt beside him. He felt a hand on his back, rubbing up and down, slow and gentle, heard soft words being murmured in his ear. He tried to focus on that.

“Hey, Keith. Hey, it’s okay. Shhh, it’s okay, Keith, you’re alright.”

Keith swallowed hard and steeled himself to meet the kind pair of blue eyes that looked down at him.

“L-Lance?”

“Yeah, buddy, it’s me,” Lance smiled worriedly. He brushed tear-soaked bangs from Keith’s face. “Can you tell me what’s wrong?”

“I—” Keith froze. That was just the problem. He could never bring himself to open up. He never told anybody what was wrong. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t seem to take down all the walls he’d spent years putting up.

“It’s okay,” Lance soothed. “You can talk to me.”

“No, I can’t!” Keith cried, much louder than he’d meant to. Lance flinched. “Can’t you see that I can’t talk to you? I can’t talk to anybody! I’m no good at it. I can’t connect with people, I can’t open up. Nobody likes me, and I try so hard, but I can’t make people like me because I always push them away and I don’t mean to but it just happens because I don’t know how to do it any different and then I’m all alone but I don’t want to be alone anymore but I can't…I just…I can’t.”

“Keith.” Lance’s strong, steady hands found Keith’s shoulders. His voice was soft, caring. “What are you talking about, man? You’re not alone. I’m right here. I’m always here for you.”

Keith wiped viciously at the tears stained on his cheeks. He didn’t say anything. He didn’t know what to say.

“Let’s get off the floor, huh?” Lance suggested. Keith nodded. Lance guided him to his feet and helped him take off the pieces of armor he’d missed. Keith tried to do it on his own, but he felt so clumsy and useless he ended up just standing there while Lance reduced him to the black bodysuit that was underneath all their armor.

Lance sat them both down on the edge of the bed, keeping an arm around Keith’s shoulders. He was still warm and a little bit sweaty from training, but Keith didn’t care. It felt good, Keith realized. It felt good to be close to someone and have them look out for you.

“We all care about you, Keith,” Lance said. “You do know that, right?”

“I…” Keith paused, “don’t know.”

“Well, we do. All of us. And yeah, okay, I guess your people skills could use a little work, but we know you’re trying. You’re part of the team, Keith. You’re family.” Lance squeezed his shoulder, smiling. Keith looked at him uncertainly. “What is it?” Lance asked.

“I’ve never had that before,” Keith admitted.

“You’d better get used to it,” Lance chimed. “Because we’re not going anywhere. We love you, man.”

“I love you too,” Keith managed. He was tearing up again. Lance pulled him in for a hug, and Keith went with his instinct to hug him back. Things weren’t great, but with Lance here, they were better. Speaking of which…

“How did you know to come find me?” Keith asked.

Lance ducked his head. “I, uh, kinda saw your vlog. You left the camera running.”

“The vlog,” Keith moaned. “I don’t know what I was thinking, saying all that stuff. And now the universe is going to see it. What do I do, Lance?”

“Don’t worry about it. It hasn’t been sent anywhere yet, and I’ll bet there’s a way we can delete it. And we could make a new one.”

“I don’t think my second time around will be any better,” Keith frowned.

“We’ll do it together,” Lance grinned. “We’ll call it ‘Get to Know the Two Bravest Paladins of Voltron!’ Razzle dazzle, right?”

“Yeah,” Keith chuckled. “Razzle dazzle.”

#i don't have time to edit this #i haven't had time to be on tumblr at all #keith kogane #vld #voltron #keiths vlog #voltron vlogs #paladin vlog #protect keith #lance mcclain #klance #vneujvhnvenbekjnv let me know what you think of this #pretty please #keith angst #angst #my writing