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#sorry that it took me so long to post. i had a few things to attend to heheh
something-tofightfor · 2 days ago
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We’ll Feel It All Tonight
Pairing: Joel Miller (TLOU) x Female Reader
Word Count: 16,313 (I’m .... not sorry but I know it’s excessive)
Rating: Not Safe For Work. This is for adults and adults only. (Language, mentions of past violence, sex.) If you’re familiar with the game’s plot and setting, you know what you’re getting into. 
Warnings: Joel Miller is his own goddamn warning. BUT: Canon character death talk, past violence, post-apocalyptic setting, injury, heavy angst
THERE ARE MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD FOR THE LAST OF US (and these likely will also be spoilers for the first season of the show. Continue reading at your own risk.)
Summary: The relative safety of Jackson City has allowed you to establish as ‘normal’ a routine as you can imagine two decades after the outbreak that decimated the world’s population. This means living a life that you hadn’t thought possible - especially with someone like Joel Miller. 
But to ensure Jackson’s continued safety and stability, lengthy supply runs are necessary each year before the weather turns. This time, you have to sit back and watch Joel leave... which means finding the right way to send him off. 
Author’s note: This story has been a long time coming. When Pedro was announced in the role in February, I SWORE I wouldn’t write for the series, even though I’ve loved the games for YEARS. Why? Because Naughty Dog already told an incredible story and I didn’t want to mess with it. But the more I’ve seen of the behind the scenes stuff... I couldn’t hold back anymore. I love this man too much not to explore what could have been/could be for him in Jackson. 
Like the masterlist says, this story (and series) largely follows what the game set up. The outbreak took place in September 2013, ‘present’ day is 2035, reader is roughly 6-7 years younger than a 49-50 year old Joel. NO AGE GAP HERE. Joel’s characterization is based on in-game Joel, with some of Pedro’s mannerisms thrown in for good measure. If you have any questions, concerns or thoughts - PLEASE feel free to reach out. 
Many, many thanks to @thepoisonofgod for saving my ass with this beautiful banner - and the ones she made for the other parts of this series, too. They’re gorgeous and she is insanely talented and you should check out her other work!
Spotify Playlist; Suggested listening “Tonight, Tonight” by the Smashing Pumpkins
Enjoy. 
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It was quiet in the house - but that wasn’t a bad thing. You’d gotten used to the silence; there were more than a few hours each day when the streets of Jackson were almost universally quiet, even with the restored electricity. We all got used to it, you reminded yourself as you carefully made your way through the comfortable living room, the crutch beneath your left arm thumping dully against the wooden floor. And we’re still getting used to all of this again. 
You’d been in Jackson for years; well before the power had been restored, long before the settlement had grown into a town and then into a thriving community - even before Maria had met her husband. You didn’t like thinking about the time before the outbreak much; there wasn’t really a point, but you never hesitated to tell anyone that asked how you’d ended up 1,300 miles from home - Springfield, Illinois - and stayed put for two decades all at the invitation (and near demand) of a young woman that you’d never even met in person before the end of the world. Thank God for Internet friends. 
Propping the crutch next to the armchair and then lowering yourself onto the worn cushion, you carefully lifted and then lowered your wrapped foot onto the ottoman before settling the uninjured one next to it. Eyes forward, you leaned back and let the fading sunlight that was streaming through the window warm your skin as you focused on the darkened screen of the TV on the stand. It wasn’t your home - not yet - but sometimes it felt like it, just like Jackson hadn’t felt like your home at first, but slowly became the most important place you’d ever lived. For me and for so many other people like Joel and Ellie.
It had been a long time since anyone new had shown up in Jackson without malicious intent, so the initial arrival of the pair - and Joel’s relation to Tommy - was the closest thing to true gossip in Jackson you’d ever experienced.  You’d seen the two of them briefly the first time they’d come through the settlement - catching a glimpse of both as they walked from the main gate to Tommy and Maria’s house, and then another as they explored the main street together - but it hadn’t been until Joel and the young girl were back for good months later that you’d had a formal introduction, courtesy of your closest friend and her husband.
Much later, it was confirmed that before meeting Ellie, Joel’s life consisted of surviving and surviving only for the majority of the time between the outbreak and the present, but that didn’t mean that he didn’t still think about what his life had been like 20 years earlier. He just didn’t admit it to anyone, even himself. Not before Jackson. Joel was a practical man - and that had been one of the first things that you’d learned about him, the two of you trading stories on Tommy and Maria’s back porch and feeling each other out to figure out what you could and couldn’t say while his brother and sister in law and Ellie sat by. They gave us a chance. 
You remembered telling Joel for the first time where you were from and who you’d been, Tommy and Maria more than encouraging you to open up, the woman helping to fill in details since she’d known you the longest. Joel had listened intently, though he’d interrupted at times to explain outdated concepts like regularly talking to people that didn’t live anywhere near you, picking up a phone and being able to send pictures back and forth, and using the Internet to do research on anything and everything to Ellie.You’d seen the interest in his eyes as you spoke, the man shifting his weight in his seat and leaning closer more than once, though his posture hadn’t ever truly relaxed, something that didn’t surprise you.
You knew better than to push him into speaking to you, though, and so you’d been content to bide your time and let the relationship and trust between you grow naturally. Tommy had been very clear that his older brother couldn’t be forced into doing anything, and despite your better instincts, you’d wanted to make a good impression. Because I liked him, even then. And I had no idea it would become … this. Despite Joel’s initial distance from everyone that wasn’t Tommy, Maria or Ellie, he’d always greeted you with a nod or by briefly lifting a hand - and it was enough.
Joel and Ellie were wary of getting too close at first, of trusting the safety of Jackson, and you couldn’t blame them. Many of the other settlers had been the same way, and even though most of them hadn’t been through what Joel and Ellie had, you knew better than to judge anyone for the way they approached other people - even in somewhere like Jackson. It’s safe, sure, but… you can never be too careful.
Sighing, you closed your eyes and turned your head toward the window, letting yourself sink into the comfort of the chair’s cushions. For the first time in nearly a week, your foot and ankle weren’t in much pain, and you wanted to enjoy the respite for as long as it lasted. With help from the ticking of the clock on the opposite wall, you drifted off a few minutes later, chin tucked against your shoulder and your arms crossed over your chest. 
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The next time you opened your eyes, it was later - the sun much lower in the sky and the room filled with dusky light. “Who said you could just fall asleep in my chair?” At the sound, your head whipped to the left in a blind panic. It only lasted seconds before your lips curved upward into a sleepy smile as you saw Joel leaning against the built-in bookcase near the doorway. “And without -” Without a weapon nearby. You knew what he was going to say before he said it and so you reached over, fingers gripping the top bar of the crutch. “That don’t count. You gonna use it one handed?”
“Mmmhmm.” You yawned, letting go of the wood and covering your mouth. “It does count. And I donno. Some guy told me I could sleep here whenever I wanted to… right around the same time he had his hand up my shirt and told me that he thought he’d -” You heard him snort as he pushed off of the wall and walked into the room, footsteps quiet across the floor. He took his boots off. He’s in for the night. “What time is it, Joel? I can’t see the clock.” 
“Almost eight.” He was in front of you, hands hanging by his thighs. “Didn’t mean to get back so late, but we mapped everything out.” At that, you woke fully, sitting up straight and blinking the remains of sleep from your eyes. Oh. “You eat?” He frowned, but when you shook your head no, he held out a hand, waiting. “C’mon. I’ll tell you about where we’re goin’ while I make you dinner.” The moment his fingers wrapped around yours, you felt relief wash over you - the same way it always did, even when he’d only been gone for a few hours.
There was something about the man that made you feel immediately safe. Though you knew the violence that he was capable of, the darkness that he’d let himself get lost in over and over in the years between the outbreak and meeting Ellie, you also knew how fiercely he protected those he cared about, and you were very thankful to count yourself among the members of that small group. 
He helped you from the chair into the kitchen, taking the place of the crutch you’d been using since you injured your ankle. “Coulda just hopped in here on one foot, Joel. It’s not that far.” You were teasing, but instead of replying, he tightened his arm around your body, the fingers of one large hand splayed against your ribcage. Guess he’s not in the mood to joke tonight. Joel paused in the doorway, flipping the overhead light on and the pair of you continued past the refrigerator and the kitchen island, the man waiting until you were comfortable in one of the breakfast nook’s chairs to reply. 
“You could have, but then I would have had to try not to laugh.” Though you began to roll your eyes in reply, the reaction was stopped as he leaned down, bracing one hand on the top of the wooden table and letting the palm of the other rest on your shoulder. What’s he … He caught your gaze with his, unblinking, and you were momentarily distracted by the lock of hair laying against his forehead, the end of it hanging nearly to his eyebrow. “Need anything?” You need a haircut.
“No.” It was little more than a whisper, and before you could stop yourself, you leaned forward enough to press your lips to his - only briefly. “I’m good.” With a final squeeze of his fingers, the man straightened up and then turned back toward the refrigerator. He was dressed casually; a dark t-shirt baring his arms from the biceps down, well-worn jeans belted at his waist, though you knew it likely wasn’t tight. He’d relaxed a great deal in the nearly two years since he and Ellie had returned to Jackson, and though Joel was always ready to react if necessary, within the walls of his own home, he was as close to easygoing as you ever saw him. And I like it that way. “What’s for dinner?” 
He rummaged through the shelves for a few seconds and then pulled out a plastic dish, your smile reappearing immediately at the sight. Doesn’t matter how much time has passed, there’s always gonna be Tupperware. “Figured we’d eat the last of these burgers.” The man crossed the kitchen, pulling a pan from the cupboard and setting it on the gas stove, twisting the knob to light the burner with a series of quiet clicks followed by a hiss. “Won’t be any good by the time I get back. Besides,” he glanced over at you. “By then, it’ll be time for us to go out and get another bison.” You grinned at his words, nodding once. 
“You just want to watch me use the bow, don’t you.” He laughed at that, the sound nearly ringing through the kitchen, and you didn’t even try to keep the grin from your lips at it. “Fine. It’s a date.” He smiled back at you before returning his attention to the food on the counter, and for the next few minutes, you stayed silent and watched him prep. 
It was strange to you sometimes to have nearly unlimited access to electricity and running water, but after the years you’d gone without it, you knew that you’d never take it for granted again. Joel’s house still didn’t have hot water - and though it was something you (and Ellie) got onto him about, you had to admit that it wasn’t all bad. You’d dealt with much worse in the previous years, and even though you missed it while staying at his place, being with him was a fair trade off - as were the hours spent after taking cold showers together, the man taking as much time as both of you had to spare making sure you were warm again.
It didn’t take him long to cook the meat and assemble the burgers, carrying the plates to the table before returning to the refrigerator and pulling out a glass pitcher of iced tea to go along with them. “You know,” you spoke as he sat down, the legs of his chair scraping over the wooden floor as he moved. “If I’d known that all it took to get you to cook for me was -” “Don’t even say it.” He grumbled your name out, the rim of his glass already near his lips. “The last thing we fuckin’ need is you offa your feet for any longer.” He swallowed, setting the glass back down. “How’s it feel, by the way? Meant to ask before, but …” The man trailed off, waiting as you chewed and swallowed. This is good. I know it’s just a burger, but it’s… really good. 
“Better. I know I said I heard it pop, but it …” You gently flexed your foot back and forth, the pain returning briefly before you stopped. “I don’t think it’s as bad as we thought it was.” You still didn’t have access to the type of modern medical technology that had been common before the outbreak, but there were a few nurses, a doctor that had been just about to finish med school before the world went to shit, and an aging physical therapist living in Jackson, so you’d been confident that you were doing all you could to care for your injury. “I should be better before… before you get back.” 
He’d mentioned leaving earlier, but you’d chosen to gloss over it because you didn’t like thinking about the coming weeks. We can’t avoid it, though. “You will be.” You watched as he licked a drop of sauce - not quite ketchup but close - from his thumb, your eyes trained on the pink flash of his tongue before he sighed. “You could still come wit-” “No.” There was no hesitation in your interruption, because you knew he didn’t really mean it. “Joel, I won’t do that. I’d just slow you guys down.” Prior to your injury, you’d been scheduled to go on a long supply run with him and three of the other residents of Jackson. But that’s not happening now. “It’d be too dangerous, especially with how far you’re planning on going.” 
Through the years, you’d ventured further and further out from the town on each run, clearing the surrounding areas of all necessary and useful supplies and tools, and assessing your surroundings. This trip - the last long one of the year - would take Joel and the others west into Idaho, with Twin Falls being the absolute furthest point they’d stop. Snow had begun falling earlier and earlier each year and you needed to be prepared, even though it was still only mid August. “I’m a liability on that crutch, and you know it.” I sure as hell do.
“Yeah, I guess.” No, you know. He swallowed another bite, eyes still focused on you. “Besides, who’s gonna stay here and take care of my house while I’m gone?” 
“Ellie.” You raised an eyebrow. “Makes sense, since she lives -” “Ellie’s takin’ your place.” He cleared his throat. Oh. Oh, that … “She volunteered. And as much as I’d rather her sit this one out, she made a convincing -” “Of course she did.” You laughed, but felt the lump rising in your throat. They’re both going. “And aside from patrols, she hasn’t really left Jackson in a while, so…” You flexed your toes beneath the table, eyes on the window that looked out into the back yard and at Ellie’s converted garage. “You still leave tomorrow, don’t you.” It wasn’t a question, but Joel nodded, the motion slow and something you caught from the corner of one eye. “How early?” 
“Noon.” He sighed. “And I was serious. I think you should stay here. Closer to the center of town than your place. Closer to Tommy an’ Maria.” There was something he wasn’t saying - but you didn’t know what it was. He’s never like this. 
“Of course I’ll stay here. But, Joel, I need you to tell me what the real reason is. How many times have people here gotten hurt? It just -” “I watched you fall.” He lifted one hand, running it through his hair, the fingers of the other tapping nervously against the table’s wooden surface, but didn’t meet your eyes. “Your foot slipped on those goddamn rocks, and I couldn’t do a damn thing to stop you from fallin’.” The distance across the tiny table had never seemed so large, and after pushing the plates to the side, you reached for the man’s hand, stopping the repetitive taps as you curled your fingers around his. “Followin’ you down that hill was like … was like goin’ down with Sarah all over again.”
His words chilled you. Despite the changes he’d made in the years since the outbreak - specifically after meeting and traveling with Ellie, you knew that using his daughter’s name was still a rare thing - and that talking about the day he’d lost her was even less common. Even with me. “It wasn’t, though, Joel. I’m fine. I didn’t even fall that -”
“It was. For me.” The man said your name again, finally looking at you head on. “It’s supposed to be safe here. It’s supposed to be better here.” You knew that he meant Jackson, but the lump in your throat was solidifying into something larger, stuck there, no matter how many times you swallowed, and so you couldn’t respond. “I only been that scared three times in my whole life. Three.”  He blinked, shoulders rising and falling as he took a deep breath, jaw locked. Sarah. Ellie. Me. 
To most of the other residents of Jackson, and to the people you’d met on the road while out on patrol or supply runs, Joel was just another hardened man - someone that wore the years of his life in every calculated facial expression and scar on his body. He was someone that had lived through more than his share of bullshit, enduring everything that came his way and surviving it, despite losing large parts of himself in the process. He was also those things to you, sure, but along with a very small number of people, you also knew a different Joel Miller, one that even the man in question was still getting reacquainted with. “I love you, too, Joel.” 
It wasn’t a good idea to fall in love with someone, and that was doubly true post-Cordyceps outbreak. If the world - and trusting your heart to someone - had been dangerous before, it was even more dangerous twenty years and billions of lives lost later. But I couldn’t help it. Not with him. You squeezed his fingers, not looking away. 
You saw the apprehension in his eyes - not at your touch, or the reassurance of your affection.Instead, what Joel was apprehensive about had more to do with his own track record than anything else. It shouldn’t have to be that way. Not anymore. 
“I know you do.” He finally looked away, eyes darting out toward the back yard, where a light had just turned on in Ellie’s place. “And I know that it wasn’t anything like that day, but it … old memories, right? Never been happier than I was to see you sit up and start bitchin’ about your ankle.” 
“I did bitch a lot, didn’t I.” Raising an eyebrow, you leaned in. “It hurt. It still hurts, but it could have been a lot worse, Joel. And we both know it.” You’d lost plenty of people in the years before and after your arrival in Jackson, some of them due to the infected, others due to stupid, careless accidents. People were still capable and intelligent, but it was no secret that despite equipment being available, the quality of medical care was nowhere near as advanced as it had been - and there were a lot more opportunities for misfortune. “Couple weeks. I’ll be back on both feet, and won’t need anyone to help me get around.” 
If there was one thing you knew about Joel, it was that he carried guilt with him with as much ease as Tommy carried his rifle or Ellie her blade. For him, it was simpler to use the guilt and react to it than to ignore it. You also knew that Joel’s guilt - along with anger and frustration - had fueled him for close to two decades with very few bright spots. But he doesn’t have to feel guilty about this. 
“Yeah, you can finally start pullin’ your own weight around here again.” You rolled your eyes without thinking, and were thrilled to see the corners of his mouth briefly rise in a small smile, the tension in the room decreasing. “Shit.” He scoffed, closing his eyes and letting his head drop down toward his chest. “I didn’t mean to -” You cut him off when you said his name quietly, one of your hands landing atop his where it rested on the table. “Yeah?” 
“I’m glad you were there with me. Glad it wasn’t someone else.” He knew that already, but you never wasted an opportunity to let the man know how much you appreciated his presence in your life. “You know how some people here are when someone isn’t… visibly injured.” He scoffed, dragging the fingers of the hand you weren’t holding through his hair. 
“Assholes. All of ‘em.” He didn’t really mean it, but you knew that the way a few of the residents of Jackson lived bothered him, the men and women not taking injuries or illnesses seriously unless there was visible - or testable - evidence. “You couldn’t even put weight on it, how -” 
“It wouldn’t have mattered to some of them. No blood or bones, no real injury.” The official diagnosis had been a partially ruptured Achilles, something you’d already prepared yourself to hear on the journey back from the hills to the west of Wilson, your foot and ankle wrapped as securely as Joel had been able to manage on short notice. “And none of them would have been as understanding as you about coming back, either.” He was watching you, eyes focused on your face. “Suck it up or get left behind, right?” You shrugged, moving to pull your hand away from his, but Joel quickly flipped his over, curling his fingers around yours. 
“Nobody woulda left you.” He didn’t lie to you often, but you could tell that even he didn’t believe his words. I know these people better than you, Joel. “They would have had to deal with me, then. And -” “You know…” Shifting on your chair, you stroked the inside of his wrist, the tip of your thumb running along the edge of the well-worn leather band of his watch. “That would probably be the only thing that would have saved me.” Fighting back a shiver at the thought, you averted your gaze, looking around the comfortable kitchen. “No one here would have wanted to tell you that they left your -” You frowned, sighing. You never knew what to call your relationship with the man, especially when talking to people that weren’t in your immediate circle. Girlfriend seems too outdated. Partner isn’t … that’s not what this is. And we’re not married, so… 
“Family.” He squeezed your hand. “Anyone tellin’ me that they left my family somewhere alone? Left ‘em hurt out there?” You saw the flash in his eyes; the muted expression no longer thoughtful and instead almost cruel. “Be the last thing they ever told anyone.” You didn’t doubt his words, but at the same time, didn’t want to spend the last night you’d have with him for weeks with Joel in a terrible mood, so you let out a breath, batting your eyelashes at him and trying to calm the racing of your heart with a change in conversational topics.
“It doesn’t matter, because you were there, Joel. And now I’m back here, and you’re cooking me burgers for dinner, and I’m going to spend the night, and -” Joel tugged on your hand, urging you to lean closer. “Wh -” 
“I’m right here, too.” He kissed your cheek, turning his head slightly and letting the short, thick hair of his beard move along your jaw. “Right here.” The man didn’t make promises or guarantees unless he knew that he could follow through, but to you, those words were a promise - as good as any other both pre and post outbreak. Instead of responding verbally, you lifted your free hand to press your palm to his bearded cheek, urging him to turn his face back toward yours. 
“I know you are.” You murmured the words, eyes closed. “I know you are, Joel.” There had been other men between your arrival in Jackson almost two years after the outbreak began and the day you’d met Joel, but none of them made you feel the way that the man in front of you did. None of them gave me any hope. You kissed him first, lips moving against the man’s deliberately, and Joel immediately reacted, positioning himself at the edge of his seat to get closer to you. None of them made me … happy. 
There were still things that Joel didn’t know about you - the same way that you were certain there were parts of his past that he didn’t feel the need to relay to you. But that didn’t mean that you were shy about telling him how important he was to you, even before the two of you had officially been together. The relative safety and security of Jackson made it possible to focus on things that weren’t just survival, and after the initial shock of the apocalypse had worn off and the city had been secured, you’d been able to think more clearly about what you wanted from the rest of your life. But he wasn’t. He couldn’t. Not as soon as I could… and 20 years is a hell of a long time to live like he did.
When Tommy arrived in Jackson, he’d been skeptical of everything and everyone, and the more you learned about his recent past, the more you understood. He’d talked about Joel - about their time together and about the things they’d done to survive, and even though there was a somewhat dazed look in his eyes as he recounted it, you could feel that he still loved his brother. Because Joel kept them alive. Joel got them through it. You were certain of that fact as Tommy remained in Jackson longer, the horror stories interspersed with memories of Joel before, the two of them behaving like typical brothers - and you could hear how much Tommy missed that Joel. And now I know why.
The man settled into the community quickly, integrating himself into the population - and into Maria’s life - seamlessly, but he’d never forgotten the brother that he’d left, nor the lifestyle that had been required to get him to Jackson in the first place. He’d been hopeful that somehow, they’d see each other again, even though he knew how unlikely it was - and you’d hoped for the same for him for as long as you could remember. And then years later … Joel and Ellie came. 
You felt yourself moving even closer to Joel, positioning your body so that the table wasn’t entirely between you. In the same moment that you felt the man’s lips part, his tongue gliding over the curve of your lower one, you heard the chair he was sitting in scrape across the floor and toward you. They came and they left and then they came back. You knew that you had nothing to do with Joel and Ellie’s return - it was simply about going where the man knew it was safe, where the two of them had the best chance at a future … and you’d just been an added bonus for him. 
The man deepened the kiss, you sighing into his mouth, but before either of you could get too carried away, you slid the hand from his cheek down to his chest, pushing him away. “Slow down there, Te - Joel.” You caught yourself before you let the other nickname slip all the way out, hoping that it didn’t stick in the air the way it did in your throat. He’d promised that it didn’t bother him when you called him Texas, even though it reminded him of a woman from his past - Tess, the woman that had initially helped get Ellie out of Boston - because she’d done the same. And they were close for a long time.
But once you’d found out that that had been the case, you made it a point to avoid doing it whenever you could, frequently catching yourself. Why remind each other of the past more than necessary? He straightened up and so did you, though you didn’t stop touching each other, the man’s heart thumping beneath your palm. “Sorry ‘bout that.” He wasn’t really sorry, and you both knew it, but you accepted his apology nonetheless, rolling your eyes and giving him a tiny smirk. “Gonna put these dishes in the sink, and then we can watch a movie or somethin’ if you want. There’s gotta be one on the shelf that -” 
“We could do that.” You glanced at the doorway, eyes landing on the visible portion of the couch in the main room. “Or we could do something else.” Joel leaned back in his chair, crossing both arms over his chest. “Not that.” He groaned and you laughed. “I mean, yeah, definitely that, later, but …” Reaching out again, you swiped your fingers through his hair, the thick salt and pepper strands sliding against your fingers. “You’re gonna be out there for a long time, and your hair grows fast. Let me trim it for you before you go?” 
“You’re gonna cut my hair?” He raised both eyebrows, expression truly shocked. “I …” He cleared his throat. “Alright.” Part of you thought that he would have said no - that he’d say he’d handle it himself, or let Ellie do it out on the trip when it got necessary. But he didn’t. “Meet you upstairs? Light’s better up there in my workshop.” 
“You got it.” Grinning, you pushed to your feet, Joel getting up too. Ah, shit .”Would you mind grabbing my -” He was already moving, disappearing into the living room and returning a few seconds later with the crutch in his hand. “Thanks.” 
“Won’t take me long.” He stopped in front of you, waiting as you situated the wood beneath your arm. “Scissors are in the top drawer under the window, and there’s towels in the closet.” “You act like I’ve never been here before.” Cocking your head to the side, you looked up at him. “There something you need to tell me, hmm? Who’s coming over that doesn’t know -” “My other woman.” He grinned, blinking twice before he winked at you. “Other women I mean. Got so many of ‘em coming in and out that -” “In your dreams, Joel Miller.” With a final roll of your eyes, you turned your back to him and made your way toward the stairs, the man fighting back laughter behind you, though he was unable to contain it for longer than a few seconds. I love the sound of that.
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While you waited for him upstairs, you changed clothes, getting comfortable and ready for bed. If Joel had no plans to leave again that night, you didn’t either, especially since it was already after 9:30. While the majority of your things were in your home, you did have some stuff tucked away into Joel’s drawers and closet, waiting for you on the nights you stayed. More often than not, you’d end up sleeping in something of his - usually a pair of old, worn flannel pants and a thin t-shirt, but that night you chose a pair of your own shorts and the shirt he’d had on the previous day, the olive green material smelling just like the man himself and hanging loosely over your shoulders. 
Carefully, you laid down a towel on the floor of Joel’s workshop and then moved one of the chairs atop it, adjusting the desk lamp and then flipping it on to make sure that it - combined with the overhead light - were enough for you to see by. You heard the man coming before you saw him as he climbed the stairs. With everything that everyone had been through, sneaking up on others wasn’t something that happened often. He still surprised you occasionally - the living room earlier was one example - but it only happened in absolute safety, and you appreciated that from him, too.  We’ve all had too many close calls.
He passed by the open door on his way into the bedroom, telling you he’d be right in, and so you leaned against the edge of his worktable, fingers gripping the wood. You’d figured he was changing clothes, too, but after only a few minutes, you heard the sound of music playing from the other room, a soft smile overtaking your face at the familiar melody. “I picked a good one.” He appeared in the doorway, one arm bent so that he could scratch the back of his head. “Got about 30 minutes before I’ll have to change records, but -” “I shouldn’t need that long.” You reached for him with one hand, Joel crossing the room and standing in front of you. “Go ahead and sit, I’ll start on the back.” He was watching you intently, the man’s sharp gaze moving over your face without pause, and you were reminded of the first time you’d met - the way Joel’s features skipped between intrigue and skepticism before finally landing on interest as you’d introduced yourself and explained to him and Ellie that you were one of the longest-settled residents of Jackson. But he’s not skeptical at all now. Now he’s just … looking. “Sit, Joel. You need to get a good night’s sleep before you leave.” 
He gave you a single nod, but didn’t sit right away, instead turning away and stepping to the large window, pulling the curtains shut. Taking his cue, you twisted around and reached back, doing the same with the window behind you, though that one was open a few inches, the slightly chilly night air making the room more comfortable. When you turned to face forward again, Joel was back in front of you, his hands on the tabletop on either side of your body as he leaned forward. Hi. “Gonna sit now,” he murmured, though he didn’t move away, instead ducking his head closer to yours. “Been a long time since I had someone else cut my hair like this, so you -” 
Unable to wait any longer, you closed the final distance between you, taking Joel by surprise with your kiss. But his shock didn’t last long, the man’s hands rising from the wooden table to settle at your waist. The behavior wasn’t typical for you. You didn’t like to appear needy, but with the man leaving for a long stretch, you wanted to soak up all of the best parts of being with him that you could, and it didn’t matter how it happened. And I’d be crazy not to kiss him whenever I have the chance.
The moments you spent with him reminded you of what life had been like. Though most of the memories you had from before everything changed had faded with time, the way he made you feel took you back more than a handful of years. It wasn’t the first time you wished that you could have been with Joel pre-outbreak, the two of you getting to know each other under normal circumstances, and you knew that it wouldn’t be the last, either. But that’s not what this is at all.
Pulling back with a quiet hum, you laughed as Joel’s teeth grazed your lower lip, the man blowing out a long exhale shortly after. “Sorry about that, I couldn’t… couldn’t help it.” You cleared your throat, closing your eyes. “Sit. Back toward me. Move the chair in.” He gave you one last look and then did as you asked, you widening the spread of your legs and settling back a few inches onto the table so that you were more comfortable. “Won’t make it too short, Joel. Just… manageable.” He nodded in agreement, and you took a deep breath, picking up the scissors in one hand and placing the other against the back of his head, hair sticking out between your fingers. 
You were adept at trimming the ends of your own hair when it was necessary, and had even had some experience with the children of Jackson, but Joel was different. “Gonna cut all the gray out of there for me?” The man chuckled and you quickly pulled the scissors away, telling him to stop moving. “Sorry. I -” “I said I wasn’t going to make it too short, didn’t I?” You stuck your tongue out between your lips, hand moving swiftly through the strands. “You want the gray gone, we’d need to bring out the clippers, not the scissors. Tilt your head down, gramps.” He did as you asked, a slight tremor running through his body as you trimmed the hairline against the back of his neck, angling the scissors upward. “This may look like shit, Joel. I’ve never done this to a -”
“An old man?” He laughed the words out as you tugged on the ends of his hair to bring his head back up and level, and you couldn’t help laughing, too. “Old. Gray. Cynical. Scarred.” 
“Experienced.” Snip. “Distinguished.” Snip, snip. “Realistic.” Snip. Pausing, you pushed on his shoulder to encourage him to turn around and face you. “Still here.” He stared up at you, the look in his eyes unreadable. “No one our age that’s still alive doesn’t identify with at least one of those characteristics, Joel.” But you’re all of them. “And no, I was going to say that I’ve never cut a man’s hair before. Maria always does Tommy’s, and everyone else just kind of … figures it out on their own.” You leaned in again, eyeing the hair over Joel’s ears, and decided to leave as much of the curl as you could. It looks too good to cut. “I need to get closer. Can you -”
“C’mere.” He reached for you, once again settling his hands on your hips. “You needta get closer? Plenty of room right here.” Joel glanced down, and in a split second, you realized he meant on his lap. I… shit. “You’ll be right up close. Eye level.” He was right, but you still hesitated. He’s a goddamn distraction, that’s what he is. I’m trying to cut his hair and he… One hand slid away from your body, Joel reaching down to lock the chair into place, and then he met your eyes again, an eyebrow raised so high it was hidden beneath his hair. “Well?” 
“You’re a menace, Joel Miller.” But you were rolling your eyes as you spoke, carefully standing and then lowering yourself onto his lap. He used both of his hands to steady you while you got comfortable, even though you couldn’t brace both feet flat on the floor. “Turn your head to the left.” He did as you asked, and you went back to your task, eyeing the length of the strands and snipping away at them as you focused on his hair, though you couldn’t ignore the feeling of his hands as they rested atop your thighs, fingers flexing every few seconds and his head turning just enough so that he could watch you. Joel, come on. You sighed. “Stop moving. I don’t wanna cut you.” 
“Sorry.” You saw his lips twitch, the man fighting to conceal a smile. “But I’ve had worse, even if you did cut me. We both have, and you know it.” That’s true. Much worse. As the metal blades of the scissors sliced through the strands of his hair, you watched as Joel’s posture changed, muscles in his shoulders going rigid and the smile disappearing from his face almost as quickly as it had appeared. Don’t let this happen.
“Hey.” You made another cut and then cleared your throat, scissors pulled away from the side of his head.
“What?” He was looking at you thoughtfully, brows knit together. “You fuck it up? Make -” “No, I didn’t.” Head shaking back and forth, you blinked a few times. “Why does a hairstylist make a good cab driver, Joel?” You saw the look in his eyes change to one of confusion, but Joel didn’t hesitate, telling you that he had no idea. “It’s because they know all the best short cuts.” He laughed before you did, the sound loud in the large room, and you were quick to follow, lowering the scissors so that they were level with your lap. I couldn’t help it. 
“You hear that one from Ellie? She likes that kinda joke, and -” “Nope.” Clearing your throat, you shrugged. “That one’s all me. Before… everything, I went to the same woman for all of my haircuts, and she always told me terrible jokes when I was in the chair, and I… I guess I just…” You lapsed into silence, thinking back to the days of beauty salons and at-home delivery services. I haven’t thought about this in years. His grip on your legs tightened, the man’s thumbs pressed into the tops of your thighs and the tips of his fingers brushing the hem of your shorts. 
“Got anymore?” He was serious - you could hear it in his voice. “Me an’ Ellie, when we were making our way out west, we … she had a book of ‘em, and I got used to …” He swallowed, never looking away. It was moments like those that reminded you just how human Joel was beneath the tough exterior - even he craved the normalcy of bad puns, the simple reminders of relaxing with friends and family and joking around. Don’t disappoint him. 
Gently turning his face in the opposite direction, you began to cut the longest remaining section of his hair - the part that hung over his eye. “I think so.” Biting down on your lower lip, you snipped some of the strands, thinking. “Why … why do bees always have sticky hair?” He hummed in reply, and you felt one of his thumbs begin to move slowly back and forth over your skin, the other hand sliding up a few inches. “It’s because they’ve only got honeycombs to use.” He didn’t laugh at that one, but when you looked to find out why, you saw that he was staring at you, the warmth in his eyes not only amusement but something else, too. What’s he -
“I don’t just want you stayin’ here while I’m gone.” The man’s voice was thick and slightly rough, and when he said your name, you lowered the scissors entirely. He.. he hasn’t… “It’s damn stupid for us to take up two places here in town. Tommy an’ I were talking about how we need to start going through the houses and buildings again, just to make sure they’re all still safe.” He sighed. “Mine’s big enough for both of us. I know I shoulda asked you sooner, but it …” He swore. “I’m real bad at this.” No, you’re not.
“Are you asking me to move in, Joel?” Heart thumping in your chest, you tightened your grip on the scissors reflexively, head tilted to one side. “Because I -” “I am.” He nodded once. “I don’t know why I haven’t before, but it’s been a long time coming, and -” “Ask me again when you get back.” You wanted to say yes, wanted to agree immediately, but you didn’t want to appear overeager. And anything can happen on supply runs. I don’t know that I could stay here without him. “You might change your mind being away from me for so long, Joel.” He laughed again, tilting his head back. “I’m serious! After you see what it’s like when everything’s quiet, you -” “I would have asked even if you and I were both goin’ on this run.” He shrugged, hands still on your thighs. “But alright. I’ll ask again when we get back. You can’t really move anything over here anyway, not with your ankle like that. And it’s not fair to ask anyone else to do it, either.” That was the truth. It wasn’t as simple as finding someone with a pickup truck to help with a cross-town move anymore. “It’s real nice havin’ you here, though. Feels … feels like home again.” That was like a punch to the chest, and you knew that your face gave it away, but you couldn’t help it. 
“I’m… I’m glad, Joel.” Squeezing your eyes shut, you took a few moments to compose yourself. “This was just supposed to be a damn haircut, and now we’re…” I tell you a joke, and you get all… serious. Chewing on your lower lip, you returned to the task at hand, leaning closer as you snipped the thick strands of hair between your fingers. “I’m almost done, by the way. Just a couple more minutes.” You refocused on the side of his head, fingers smoothing his hair back into place only a few minutes later. There. Leaning back, you set the scissors on the desktop before shifting your weight as you faced forward again. “Look at me.” He turned his head back toward you, and you lifted both hands, scratching your nails along his scalp to make sure everything looked alright when his hair was out of place, and helping the final stray hairs join the others on the floor. “I think I’m done.” “Yeah?” He didn’t look away, even as you watched his hair fall back over one eye, your fingers following the ends to tuck them behind the top of his ear. “How’s it look?” You look perfect. You… Even before the outbreak, you would have been physically attracted to Joel - and the pictures of him that littered his house as well as the ones Tommy had displayed were proof of that. The years hadn’t exactly been kind to him, but they hadn’t aged him in the way that they had many others, and there were moments when you saw the face of the man he’d been decades earlier - those expressions hidden just beneath the surface and waiting to emerge for a few moments at a time. But it doesn’t matter what he looks like. “I bet you could go down to the bar right now and walk out with any woman you wanted... Even if you told them that I was the one that just gave you this snazzy haircut.” 
“Good thing I don’t wanna do that then.” His voice was lower than it had been, the light from the desk behind you reflecting in his eyes. “I want to stay right here.” He shifted beneath you and both of your hands went to his shoulders, steadying yourself. “That alright with you?” Yes. It is. “Good.” He gave you a small smile, leaning back in the chair. You couldn’t help staring at him, eyes moving over Joel’s face to take in the sight of him. 
You had plenty of pictures of him - images stored on your collection of memory cards that you’d taken with the camera you’d carried with you across the country after leaving your home. There were others in town that had cameras of their own, and no shortage of people documenting their lives via pen and ink, but since you’d been in Jackson for so long, you’d made it a point to photograph as much as you could - starting with your arrival. Those pictures are so much better than… the ones from the way here. 
Maria had been skeptical at first, but when you’d explained it as wanting to be sure that people in the future knew Jackson and the people that lived there - the people that survived the initial outbreak and those that came later, she’d been more supportive. And I was the one that took pictures the day she married Tommy, so of course she didn’t complain. Those pictures - post Jackson arrival - were much less difficult to look at than the ones you’d taken on the way from Illinois to Wyoming, but you knew that when it came down to it, all of them would be a necessary history lesson for the people that came after you, and that made constantly having fresh batteries and a solar charger necessary while the power was out.
He said your name again and you snapped back to attention, inhaling through your nose as Joel’s fingers inched even higher on your legs, his dark eyes focused on yours. “Yeah?” 
“You got that look on your face. Like you need someone to distract you.” For every one of the moods Joel had, you had a match, and he was just as adept at pinpointing the changes in yours as they were happening as you were with his. One of the reasons I love him so much. 
“Maybe.” Cocking your head to the left, you ran the ends of your nails over the side of his neck. “Know anyone that’d be good at it?” You watched as his pupils dilated, the man’s shoulders rising as he took a deep breath, and you knew without a doubt that whatever happened next, Joel was in control - the way you liked it to be. 
“I gotta guy.” Your hold on him changed, breath quickening at the words. “He’s real good at distractions. Actually, he’s real good at a lot of things.” 
“He is.” You inched closer to him, the backs of your thighs moving over the denim of his jeans, though his hands remained firmly in place. Very good. “Distract me, Joel. I don’t want to think about you leaving, or about you -” He cut you off with a hard kiss, finally pulling one hand away from your leg and curling his fingers against the back of your head to hold it in place. Joel retreated only enough to take a short breath, and when his mouth met yours again, you focused on his teeth closing around your lower lip and the rough scrape of his beard against your cheek.  
You’d had the man in a variety of ways throughout your time together - knew his moods and could read his tells. That night, Joel was fully present, focused - leading at the same time that he was taking cues from you, and at that realization, you whined, the sound escaping from the back of your throat and getting swallowed by him moments before he deepened the kiss, teeth replaced with tongue. You tasted the iced tea from dinner, along with a hint of the spearmint leaves that he tended to chew on absently, and though you didn’t need to, you committed the moment to memory; the two of you in his workshop, tangled together on the chair with barely any space between your bodies. This is how it should be. 
It’s going to be what I think about while he’s gone, you admitted to yourself as he pulled back to breathe, eyes opening to stare at you once again. Him and this and - “I’m gonna get you into that bed in a little while, and we’re gonna do this right.” He made a promise, the want evident in the tone of voice. You were nodding as he spoke, the fingers of the hand that still rested on your leg circling over the smooth skin of your inner thigh. “But I want you here first.” That shocked you a little, even though it shouldn’t have. Where else could this have possibly gone? “I want to see if I can make it feel as good with m-” “You already know you can.” Speaking quietly as you leaned in closer, you kissed him again, one of your hands falling to rest against the back of his, halting the movement of his fingers. “We both do.” He laughed quietly as you squeezed his hand and then urged it closer toward the center of your body. “What’re you waiting for?” 
He didn’t have to be told twice, Joel’s hand sliding out from beneath yours and fully under the loose material of your shorts. His palm was hot against your skin, the ends of his fingers making their way back to curl around your curves, but the man never looked away, instead maintaining eye contact. “Was just waitin’ for an invitation.” He winked at you, tightening his grip and then Joel was kissing you again, urging your face toward his with the hand on the back of your head as he squeezed your flesh with the other one. 
At first, it had been a shock to you to see the differences in his behavior - the way he carried weapons on patrol like extensions of himself compared to the stroking motion of his fingers against the muzzle of Patch, his favorite of the Jackson stable’s horses; the set of his shoulders while he was on high alert as opposed to the way he relaxed back into the seat at the bar or leaned against a doorframe; the way his eyes would narrow as he assessed the safety of any given situation, but soften when he was speaking to you, Tommy or Ellie. 
But when Joel touched you, it was with purpose - every time, no matter where you were or what you were doing, and no matter how insignificant the touch seemed. The man was deliberate - he had been that way from the beginning, and as time passed, you’d learned to read into the way he behaved toward you, even when he didn’t realize what he was doing. He didn’t typically initiate physical contact with anyone unless it was a special situation. The man instead preferred to keep his distance and stay out of the personal space of others unless it was necessary to do otherwise. It’s how I knew he wanted more with me - because he didn’t stay away like that. He didn’t even have to say anything. 
You shifted on his lap as he dropped the hand from your head to your hip, and felt the bottom edges of your shorts ride up even further, exposing more skin. Draping your arms over his shoulders, you used one hand to play with the freshly trimmed ends of his hair, the man shuddering as the edges of your nails made contact with the back of his neck. 
Instead of pulling away, though, he pulled you closer, breathing out through his nose as he bit down on your lower lip, fingers tangling in the hem of the shirt you wore and tugging on it. “Get this damn thing off. I wanna see you.” He wasn’t speaking loudly - lips close to your ear, his voice husky with desire, but you heard him all the same, head nodding rapidly in agreement. “Let me help you.” Raising your arms above your head, you waited, Joel wasting no time in using both hands to rid you of the fabric and letting it drop in a crumpled heap at his feet. “Much better.” 
Taking a deep breath, you watched as his eyes tracked the movement of your bare chest when it rose and then fell when you exhaled, Joel’s tongue darting out to wet his lower lip before he met your eyes again. “Is… is it?” You couldn’t help the wavering of your voice - you always got a little flustered when Joel’s full attention was focused on you. And I always will. At his solemn nod, you reached forward, running your fingers through his hair again to pull it back from his forehead. “Good.” 
You felt the cool air against your bare back, a slight breeze pushing through the curtains and changing the air temperature in the room, but it wasn’t until Joel’s hands settled on your upper arms and he leaned in, warm breath hitting your skin in a single exhale before his lips pressed against the area just below your collarbone that you felt yourself break out in goosebumps. Oh, fuck. 
He kissed his way across your bare chest, hands sliding off of your arms, fingers curling in toward his palms so that he could glide his knuckles down your sides. The only reaction you had was a quiet moan and the slight arch of your back as you waited to see what he’d do next. You didn’t have long to wait, Joel’s fingers straightening out as he got closer to your waist and then pressing against your skin to slip beneath the elastic of the top edge of your shorts. Your lower half moved closer in response, and he finally pulled his mouth away from your skin to look up at you, eyes dark. 
You loved seeing that expression on his face, and enjoyed being the one to put it there even more. When you saw his tongue darting out to lick at the top of his lower lip, you surged forward, catching him off guard and using one forearm to hold him in place as you kissed him. He didn’t mind - the growl that left his throat at the first contact of your lips only emboldened you, hips rolling slightly toward his body as his hold on you tightened, his strong hands firmly in place. How did I get so lucky? Finding him…finding this after everything? 
You asked yourself that question often; Joel and Ellie the brightest spots in your life, the man’s presence reigniting something in you that for a long time, you’d feared you’d never feel again. “Joel…” You whispered his name as you took a shuddering breath, your eyes closed and your forehead pressed to his. His hands slid down, and you felt as they moved between the backs of your thighs and the tops of his, dragging your shorts down along with them. “Joel, I …” 
“Hmm?” You heard the smirk in his voice even though you didn’t open your eyes to see it, and then he kissed you again - softly, lips brushing against yours and then his head turning so that he could speak into your ear. “Gotta talk to me. I can’t read your mind.” That might have been true, but you were pretty sure that you weren’t being subtle about what you wanted from him - or how you were feeling, and so instead of saying anything else, you kissed your way over and down his cheek and toward his neck, finally opening your eyes when you felt the rough scrape of the stubble on his jaw against your lips. 
He moved his fingers - the tips of them digging into your flesh and massaging it fluidly, and you sighed as you kissed the thin skin of Joel’s throat, your eyes closing again. You had a favorite spot - the freckle just below and to the side of his Adam’s apple, and that’s where you landed, lips parting to suck gently on the skin. He let out another growl at the feeling, and as you moved on, mouth traveling back toward the space directly behind his ear, Joel lowered his face into the crook of your neck, exhaling with a shuddering breath. He continued to move his hands against your skin, but the longer you stayed like that, the lazier both of your motions became - your kisses growing longer, too, until you were just holding each other. 
You craved the closeness with him, and the feeling of his hands or mouth on you were an added bonus, but the truth was that you just liked being around him much more. “We should go to bed, Joel.” You mumbled the words, one hand stroking the back of his neck. “You gotta get some sleep, and I don’t wanna spend the last night we have together for a while sitting up in this damn chair.” He laughed, the sound quiet, and you were aware of the fact that the music from the other room had stopped, leaving the rest of the house in silence. “Why are you laughing?” 
“Because you think if we get in a bed that I’m goin’ to sleep.” He sat up straight, meeting your eyes again. “That’s the last thing I’m gonna do with you tonight.” 
“Good.” You pressed your lips together. “I’m gonna grab my shirt, and -” “Nope.” You watched one of his eyebrows shoot up, his head moving back and forth slowly. “You don’t need it yet. We’re just goin’ into the other room.” He looked down again, then back up and into your eyes. “Nobody’s gonna see you but me.” You shivered at that, and again when he let you go - pulling his hands away from your body and then resituating your shorts where they were supposed to sit at your waist. “You’re gonna have to stand up.” He said your name, his expression one of amusement. “Unless you want me to roll us in there on this chair.” 
A laugh erupted from your mouth at that, head tilting back and your eyes on the ceiling, but you didn’t let Joel go, nor did you make any move to stand. In a minute. Closing your eyes, you let yourself continue to laugh, stopping abruptly when you felt his mouth on your skin again. That time, though,  his lips were latched against the top of one breast, the man’s bearded chin rubbing against the nipple beneath it. The laugh turned into a long, low moan and both hands went to the sides of his head, fingers combing through his hair. He… that feels… Pushing your chest out - and more firmly against his mouth, you realized he was still gripping your waist - one thumb swirling over the bared skin beneath your belly button and above your waistband.  We were going to get into the bed, we…
But your thoughts scattered as he moved his mouth down, Joel’s tongue dragging over your skin before he took the hard bud of your nipple between his teeth and bit, soothing the sting a few seconds later with a few swipes of his tongue. “Fuck, Joel.” Hands still in his hair, you pulled his face away from your chest, humming. “Bed. Come on. Now.”  He let go of you and with a great deal of effort - because you didn’t want to separate from him - you angled your torso so that you could put one hand against the tabletop behind you, using that arm to support your weight as you pushed to your feet - ensuring that the injured one bore no weight. He steadied you with both hands, palms pressed against your ribs, but before you could take a step away from him, you felt his breath against your stomach and his lips followed a few seconds later. What is he… 
“Too bad you’re workin’ with one good leg at the moment.” He kissed your skin again, a little lower than the first time. “Because I’m in a real good spot right now, y’know?” 
“When you come back, Joel.” It pained you to say it, but you were in no position to stand and let him do what he was suggesting. There was no way you’d remain upright, and the surface of the table was too cluttered for you to sit down comfortably on. “Plenty of time when you come back for us to defile your workshop.” That made him laugh, and he bent down, using one hand to unlock the chair so that he could roll backwards, giving you more space. You hopped a few steps before you reached your crutch, settling it beneath your arm and then moving as fast as you could toward the doorway. “I’ll clean up in here tomorrow before I leave. Just … just come with me, Joel.” 
The chair creaked as he stood, and after only a few seconds, you felt his presence at your back, though he didn’t touch or steady you. He wants to, though. You knew the man - knew his behaviors and moods, could read his intentions from across the room, and the feeling was stronger at such a close proximity. “Gonna put on more music, give me a second.” Sure. Fine. That works. 
The two of you crossed the hallway and stepped into Joel’s room after he turned the other lights off. The only illumination came from the few smaller lamps that were scattered throughout the large space, bathing the room in a soft glow. You took a seat on the edge of the bed closest to the doorway and then shifted so that you could watch the man as he flipped through the crate of records that he kept next to his turntable before looking back and over his shoulder at you. “Got anything you wanna hear?” Yeah, you. But you didn’t say anything, just shook your head back and forth until he returned his attention to his vinyl collection. 
Joel selected a well-worn slipcase and you watched as he laid it on top of the others, pulling the first record off of the player and sliding it smoothly back into the sleeve before replacing it with the new one, the fingers of his right hand moving the needle into place and beginning the album with a faint scratch. You recognized it immediately; lips curving upward into a smile as you closed your eyes and started to hum along. “One of your favorites, hmm?” It was still strange for you sometimes to think that before, bands and musicians had released albums at regular intervals - that music like what was coming through the old, somewhat tinny speakers had been as simple to listen to as clicking a button on a computer keyboard or slipping a disc into your car’s dashboard. I miss that. I miss… “What were you doing in the late 90’s when this came out?” Opening your eyes with the smile still on your face, you watched as he stood up, turning to face you. “Teenage Joel Miller? You -” 
“I was a little shit.” He fought to keep his expression even, not breaking eye contact. “Me an’ Tommy were awful. I’m sure my parents wanted to lock us in our bedrooms half the time.” Your lips twitched, but you stayed quiet. “I was already playing guitar, though. Had a cheap acoustic. I was … not good.” He undid his belt, letting it drop to the floor with a clatter and then pulled his shirt off, breaking eye contact as the material covered his face. Your eyes were drawn to his bare chest before dropping to the prominent scarring on his abdomen and then moving back up - finally settling on his face once more. “You would have hated me back then.” 
“Probably.” He took a few steps toward you, fingertips trailing over the footboard and then landing on your knee, his touch again sending heat throughout your body. “But I bet you were a cute kid.” I wish I could see a picture of you from back then. You’d discussed going back to Austin someday - to see if his house was still standing, to visit Sarah, to get closure for the man after more than twenty years, but over 1,400 miles each way with only two people was a dangerous endeavor. He and Ellie had been lucky to make a journey of that length once, and you didn’t want to tempt fate. If anything were to happen to him… “Joel?” Your hand rose and so did your gaze, and you were surprised to see that he was still staring at you - not at the bared flesh of your chest, not at the exposed skin of your legs. “Come here.” You tugged on the top edge of his jeans, the button coming undone, and he took a step forward, his hand squeezing your leg once before it slid off of you and onto the mattress next to you, the man bending at the waist and finally closing his eyes only moments before he kissed you. 
That kiss was different - more deliberate, and you heard the sound of his zipper, followed by the quiet thuds of his feet on the floor. He removed his jeans without breaking the kiss, leaving him just as undressed as you were - the man wearing only a slightly stretched out pair of plaid boxers. “Scoot.” It was a single word, but you heard the command in it, your body moving backwards and toward the center of the bed before he’d finished. The mattress dipped as he dropped to one knee, climbing into the bed and then crawling toward you. 
It never got old - watching Joel approach you with that look in his eyes - his motions fluid, the man’s sole focus on you and what he was going to do to and with you in the following minutes. Because I never quite know. Instead of stopping next to you, Joel lifted a knee and swung it over your lower body, leaning all the way forward and caging you in with his forearms on either side of your head. “We’re both stalling, aren’t we.” He looked surprised for a few seconds, but then nodded in agreement, one side of his jaw flexing. Knew it. Prolonging your pleasure meant that both of you would be awake for longer, which in tun meant that you had more time. But it also meant that he got less sleep - and that was something that you didn’t want to compromise on. “We should change that,’ you whispered as you reached for him, fingers sliding around to the back of his neck and pulling his face down. “How’s that sound?” 
Joel’s response was physical instead of verbal, the spread of his legs widening enough to move his hips toward yours - which meant you could feel the bulge below his waist as it pressed against your lower body. Sounds good, then. You lifted your hips to meet his, the friction making you groan loudly in the final moments before Joel’s mouth covered yours again, the man wasting no time and pushing his tongue past your lips and into your waiting mouth. You felt the length of him rubbing against your center, inching up and down with every slow roll of his hips. It was rare that Joel moved slowly with you in bed, but the fact that you couldn’t brace both feet against the mattress gave him a reason to do so - and you the chance to enjoy the new side of him. 
But just because he wasn’t moving quickly in that manner didn’t mean that he wasn’t rough in others, and after parting for a short breath, he nearly attacked your mouth again, the force of his kiss pressing your head further into the pillow. You were still gripping the back of his head with one hand, the fingers of the other one digging into his bare shoulder hard enough that you knew it was likely he’d have marks there when you finally let go. “Joel, you…” You sighed when he moved his mouth away from yours, barely getting the words out before he kissed you once more - that one brief. 
Without pause, he focused the attention of his lips on the curve of your jaw and then your chin, lingering there while his thumbs swiped slowly over the front of your shoulders. He’s everywhere. You couldn’t help the involuntary reaction to that - hips lifting again from the bed as you tried to get closer, and when you felt him smiling against your skin, you cried out, the subtle shift in expression causing his beard to tickle your face. 
“Gettin’ impatient?” He looked up at you without pulling away, but didn’t wait for your answer, instead closing his eyes and returning his attention to what he’d been doing only moments earlier. “I’m not. I’m takin’ my time and enjoyin’ it.” He wasn’t speaking loudly, instead his words reached your ears in barely audible whispers between the kisses he was leaving against your skin. He started with the center of your throat, followed by the side and then moved onto your collarbone - though those weren’t just kisses. Joel’s teeth grazed along the length of one side of your body, and it took you a few seconds to realize that he’d moved a hand to grip your neck, turning your head to the other side and stretching the skin taut before bringing his mouth back up. Oh, he… I… “Tell me if you need me to cool it, alright?” 
He wasn’t whispering anymore - instead, he was using something only slightly quieter than his normal speaking voice, and it immediately got your attention. “Wait, what?” Knitting your brows together as you straightened your neck, you swallowed, feeling the minute flex of his fingers at the motion. “Cool it? From -” 
“You’ll know.” He raised an eyebrow again, the look in his eyes blazing. “Promise me.” Promise you what? “Gotta say goodbye to you, and I might get carr -” “You’re not saying goodbye, Joel.” This can’t be goodbye. It isn’t. Releasing him and using both hands to push yourself partially upright, you whipped your head back and forth as soon as he let go of you. “But I’ll let you know if you get carried away.” You reached for him again, nodding. “I promise.” He needed to hear the words, and even though you were adamant that it wasn’t the last time you’d be with him, both of you knew that some small part of you was preparing for that to be the case. Anything can happen. It’s safe, but it’s not … completely safe. “I always do.” That was all he needed, his posture changing once again as he urged you to lay back with the hand that had been around your throat before letting those same fingers trail down your chest and between your breasts. 
He moved with it, knees carrying him backwards as he inched his way down your body and gave himself better access to your bared skin. The man was focused and you didn’t interrupt, instead choosing to just watch him, taking in the way Joel dug his teeth into his lower lip as he palmed one breast, moving his hand in a slow circle against it before squeezing and then doing the same to the other, eliciting a quiet sigh from you. He moved so that he was kneeling over only one of your legs as he touched you, hand moving lower and the other reaching down to adjust himself through the material of his underwear. The sight of that made you whine again, one hand lifting from the blankets. But before you could touch him, he shook his head back and forth once - and you knew exactly what it meant: wait. I’ll wait if that’s what you want. 
He reached the elastic of your shorts and brought his other hand up to assist; hooking his fingers under it and tugging them down - though there was nothing quick about it. “Hips. Lift ‘em.” He groaned the words out and you complied, using your good foot to support your lower body as you rose a few inches. He’s gotta see how much he’s… how much this…  He made the most of your help, easing the material - and the underwear beneath it - over your thighs and then lower. It left you completely exposed, and while you felt a moment of panic - like you did every time you were in a vulnerable position, his hands resting on your legs brought you back to even, eyes blinking quickly as you steadied yourself with a deep breath. I’m safe because he’s here. 
After flattening his palms against the tops of your thighs, Joel began rubbing at the skin beneath them, slow circles meant to calm you and draw your attention. He’s definitely got that. It only took a few seconds, and you realized he was inching your legs apart, his eyes cast down. The way Joel looked at you felt disarming sometimes; the man’s serious expressions telling almost nothing about the way he actually felt, but in that moment, you knew everything. He wants me. He wants this so goddamn much. “Gonna look all night, Joel? Or are you gonna -” He squeezed one leg, cutting you off, and you inhaled sharply at the feeling of his fingers pushing against your skin. “I’m just asking.” You mumbled the words out with a sigh, and then the man moved again, shifting so that he was kneeling between your legs. 
Joel leaned down, nudging the underside of one breast with the bridge of his nose, but it wasn’t his lips that you felt on your body - it was his tongue, dragging over your heated flesh in long, sure strokes before he continued the path down your body and toward your belly. You heard the blankets rustling as he moved, and when he finally did plant a kiss to your stomach, you hummed out his name, reaching for him once more and stroking the side of his face with one finger. “Just want a taste.” His voice once again gravelly, Joel cleared his throat, rubbing his chin slowly over the skin he’d just dampened with his lips and tongue and keeping his eyes locked with yours. How am I supposed  to think clearly right now? “A little one.” I… alright. The truth was that you wanted it too, and the denial in his workshop had only been because of the poor location - not because you wanted to tell him no. 
“That’s f-” You began to reply but didn’t get far as Joel’s mouth returned to your skin, hands sliding down and between your body and the blankets beneath it. He squeezed, then, as you felt his teeth moving over the crease where your leg met your hip. But you cried out when he sealed his lips against your skin and sucked hard on the meat of your inner thigh, your lower body jolting at the sensation. Oh, fuck. Oh, he… Blindly reaching for him, you felt your fingers moving through the thick locks of his hair, but Joel wasn’t deterred, instead further widening the spread of your legs and then turning his head just enough to move his mouth closer to his destination once he’d released you. “Fuck, Joel, you…” 
“Shh.” He mumbled a reply, lips still brushing over your skin as he pressed kisses to it, and then without warning, you felt his tongue flick against you, followed only moments later by his lips. You felt the groan as he tasted you for the first time in nearly a week, Joel’s hold on you tightening to the point that you knew you’d feel it later. But you didn’t care, turning your sole focus back to what he was doing with his mouth and how good it felt. It always does. He never wasted time with cautious licks or tentative kisses; instead Joel approached giving attention to that part of your body the same way that you did when you took him into your hand or mouth. 
The apocalypse had taught you many things, but the most important one was that nothing was promised. Time, privacy, space and comfort were luxuries, and when the opportunity arose to be with someone, you had to take it. And he does. We do. You felt each stroke of his tongue as it moved over and into you, the way his nose nudged against your sensitive flesh with each movement. How does he do that? How -
“Joel, please, I -” You didn’t know what it was that you were asking for as he lifted you off of the mattress enough to change his angle, but you knew that you didn’t want him to stop, curling your fingers into the thick, soft strands at the crown of his head and whimpering when you felt a rush of air on your slick skin. He took a deep breath, releasing it before lapping at your skin again, the strokes of his tongue shorter and faster than they had been. But that was short lived, a low sigh escaping from you when he pulled away and let your body settle back against the bedding. What is… why did he stop? He said your name, and at the sound of it, your attention snapped back to him, hand falling away from his head as he rose onto his knees. “Are you alright? Wh-” “Said I just wanted a taste.” He wrinkled his nose briefly, but you saw the fire in his eyes, amusement hidden in their depths. “Remember? Jist a little one.” Your lips parted as you felt him run his hand up your leg again, twisting his wrist so that he could touch you. “But touchin’ you?” He lifted an eyebrow and then winked at you, leaning forward as he crooked two fingers and slid them inside of you. “That’s different.” Your eyes closed, even though you wanted to keep them open, but as Joel continued to move his fingers in and out of your body, you couldn’t help the way you writhed on the bed, toes curling as you bent one knee and flattened that foot on the mattress, hands grasping the bunched up blankets and squeezing. “Hey.” You opened your eyes when he spoke again, but Joel wasn’t looking at you. Instead he was watching the movement of his hand, almost studying the way he was touching you; committing the visual of what he was doing to memory. 
He pulled his hand away moments later, and you saw the slickness on his fingers even in the low light, but you weren’t prepared to watch as the man lifted his hand to his lips, bending both and then licking them clean, tongue running along their length as he closed his eyes. You shot into a sitting position, grabbing for him with both hands, and Joel reacted faster than you’d expected, his free hand settling at your waist, the other leaving his mouth and gripping your shoulder. “Enough, Joel.” You whispered the words, angling your head so that you could kiss him while you pushed the waistband of his boxers down. “Need you. Now.” 
You tasted yourself on his lips and tongue, but it didn’t deter you, instead it encouraged you, your teeth latching onto his lower lip for long moments before you pulled back, chest heaving. “Yeah?” Rapidly agreeding, he grinned at you, urging you backward until you were laying down again. He followed, but instead of hovering over you, Joel positioned himself next to you, removing his underwear completely before he leaned over, kissing your shoulder. “On your side alright?” He watched you while he waited for your answer, but you didn’t make him wait long, rolling so that your back was to his chest, Joel’s arm curling around your waist to pull you closer. “Feel that?” He spoke into your ear, beard scratching against your jaw. “Feel me?” 
“Yes.” Tilting your head back, you sighed as he slid one arm between it and the pillow, your cheek resting against his forearm. “Fuck, Joel.” You moved against him, feeling how hard he was - stiff and hot against the back of your thigh. The position was one you knew well - and both of you liked, and so before you said anything else you lifted your leg enough to rest your calf against his, knee bent and the man’s hand sliding down your stomach and between your legs again. You covered his fingers with yours as he began to touch you, and when he’d found a rhythm, your hips moving together as he pressed against you, you moved yours even lower, fingers grazing against the underside of him, Joel’s growl in your ear low and long. “My turn.” You murmured the words, turning your head enough so that your lips brushed his bearded cheek. “My turn now.” 
The second you wrapped your fingers around him and squeezed, you felt his muscles tense, but then he relaxed, the movement of his fingers through the slickness gathered between your legs never faltering. He was solid against your palm, thick and heavy in your fingers, and you only managed a sew strokes - gathering the moisture at his tip with your thumb and spreading it down - before he stopped touching you, covering your hand with his and guiding you with a practiced ease. “Goddamn.” He shuddered as he spoke, burying his face in your neck again as you both moved your hands, the pace languid. There was nothing quite like being so close to him - enveloped in his scent and the feeling of the man pressed against your back, but you wanted more, and so you shifted again, changing the angle of your strokes to wordlessly tell him you were ready. 
Removing his hand, he touched you again, using two fingers to spread you open while you positioned him properly, anticipating the coming stretch. With a tiny backward jerk of your hips and a thrust of his, he slid into you, the position limiting the motion slightly. You cried out, biting your lip and turning your head toward the pillow, but Joel was quick to lift his hand and cup your jaw, urging you not to. He let go after a few seconds, the hand trailing down the center of your chest and between your breasts before he settled it on your hip, pulling you backwards as much as he could. I’m so lucky, you realized as he thrust into you, short strokes punctuated by huffs of breath washing over your sweat-slicked shoulder. We’re so lucky. 
Twenty years after the outbreak, most people had to be very careful when it came to sex. There was no birth control - no condoms or morning after pills, no real way to prevent pregnancy that wasn’t messy. Jackson was safe, sure, but there were still inherent risks when it came to getting pregnant and giving birth, but that wasn’t an issue when you were with Joel. 
You sighed again as he dug his fingers into your hip, reaching your arm backwards to touch him, urging him on with a press of your fingers into his thigh. No, we get to do this whenever we want. You remembered the conversation you’d had about the decision he’d made in his mid 20’s - the prospect of another unplanned pregnancy scaring the hell out of him with a 9 year old at home already. 
The topic came up well before you’d even thought about being intimate with each other, and though he’d been candid about it, you knew it wasn’t information he shared with just anyone. Because then there’s expectations, you thought as he slid his hand down your leg and toward your knee, pulling it back more. And he wouldn’t want that unless he was serious. “Harder, Joel.” You panted out the words, turning your head toward him and hoping to find his lips. “Harder, I need -” 
“Alright.” Without pulling completely out of you, Joel pushed you forward, your lower body twisting so that your hips were parallel to the bed, the knee against the mattress bent to give you some leverage. The changed angle allowed him to drive himself deeper into you, the hand beneath your body moving to curl around your upper chest, the one at your waist holding you in place as he picked up the pace, thrusting in and out of you in a way that hadn’t been possible before. “Better?”
“Yeah.” You panted the word out, surprised that he was still able to speak into your ear - but thankful for it when you felt him bite down on your shoulder, Joel’s grip on you tightening. “Perfect.” He was smiling against your skin, and at that realization, you let go of him and reached down - giving yourself a few moments to appreciate the way you could feel the heat radiating from your bodies - and then touched yourself, first one finger and then two. You knew that if you could get yourself off, the feeling of it would get Joel off, and despite knowing that there wouldn’t be time for a second round before sleep, you wanted nothing more than to feel him spilling inside of you. Because he can do that. We can do that. 
“Already?” He chuckled with a perfectly timed thrust and you sucked in a breath, fingers faltering and then resuming their motion. “That’s what you want?” You managed a nod and he cleared his throat, the vibration moving over the back of your neck. “A’right.” It was only a matter of time before you found the right rhythm, fingers moving at the same time they pressed down, the warmth pooled in your lower belly growing hotter by the second. He felt it at the same time you did; the slight tension in your muscles, and he withdrew, circling his hips slowly before thrusting forward again, the change in pace exactly what you needed to turn the warmth into a raging fire, muscles clenching around him and drawing him in even further. Joel stilled for long moments, holding your shivering body against his and then he was moving again, picking up the pace and swatting your hand out of the way to prolong your orgasm - his fingers deftly manipulating your body even as he rocked into you. “Fuck.” He panted out the word, forehead against your shoulder, the newly trimmed strands of hair damp on your skin. “Oh, fuck, I -” 
He came hard and with little warning, even more warmth filling you up in short bursts, but Joel didn’t stop moving, hips still snapping against yours as he came. He stopped moving his fingers before he relaxed behind you, and even though you rolled your hips backwards to meet his when his motions slowed, you could feel that he was spent - his arm heavy over your side, fingers spread wide over your lower abdomen. You were both breathing hard, but he made no move to pull out. Instead he urged you back onto your side, the man’s bent leg caging yours between it and the bed as he pulled you closer. 
Rough Joel was gone - instead of teeth and fingers digging into your flesh, the man moved his lips softly over the skin he’d likely bruised and then let the warmth from each exhale glide over your sticky skin while stroking over your belly with his fingertips, your lips pressed against the scarring on the inside of his arm and your eyes closed. I love this man so goddamn much.  
You would have been content to stay like that all night - the man softening inside of you as you drifted off. But Joel had other ideas, pulling out of you with a grunt and telling you he’d be right back before he crossed the room to the bathroom, returning moments later with a dampened cloth and handing it to you. 
It only took you a few minutes to clean yourselves up and get dressed - it was a rule that you never went to sleep naked, just in case - and then after stripping the top blanket off the bed, you were once again wrapped up in each other’s arms, the room dark and the music turned off.  Neither of you spoke - not wanting to interrupt the moment or broach the topic of him leaving the following afternoon, but you finally had to speak, rolling to face him and resting your hand against the center of his chest. “Hell of a send-off, Joel.” It was better to get things out in the open - not trying to hide what you were thinking. “It’s like you -” 
“I got carried away.” His hand moved under the blanket, fingers brushing over the spot on your leg that he’d latched onto. “Not like anyone’s gonna know, but…” He cleared his throat, trying to conceal a laugh. “You’re gonna feel it for a couple days, and I -” 
“Good.” He turned his head toward you, and even with the lights off, you could see his eyes and the way he was looking at you. ‘And you didn’t get carried away. I encouraged it.” Closing the distance between you, he kissed you again, but it wasn’t a precursor to anything; the man’s lips pressed against yours and then he pulled away, taking a deep breath. “You should get some sleep, Joel. Gotta wake up early and pack, and …” You sighed. “I’ll make you breakfast.” 
The two of you lapsed into silence, the crickets outside loud enough that you could hear them. When you shifted closer to the man, he lowered his head, kissing the top of yours and lingering, the arm around your waist tightening. This is almost normal. It’s like he’s going on a business trip. Like he’s going to get on a plane and come back in a few days and… It wasn’t - and you knew it, but you couldn’t deny it any longer. The thought of being away from him for two months terrified you. Not because we’ll be apart, but because… “You alright? You got real tense just now.” Of course he noticed. Clearing your throat, you assured him you were fine and then sighed. 
“Joel?” He hummed, but didn’t speak. “If… if we’d met before, where do you think it would have happened?” It was pointless to talk about it, but you were trying to buy yourself a few more minutes with him - moments where both of you were conscious and you could drink in the sound of his voice. “What would your ideal -” “Woulda met you at a football game.” He laughed. “Maybe in the line for a beer.” He paused while you rose onto your elbow, staring down at him. A football game? I can see that. “Or maybe tailgatin’. I would have kicked your ass at cornhole in some parking lot, and then -” “Oh you would have?” It was your turn to laugh, head shaking back and forth. “I think you forget what I was doing when the world went to shit, Miller.” You hadn’t been enrolled at one of the larger party schools in Illinois, but you could hold your own in drinking games like beer pong and cornhole. “I would have embarrassed you in front of all of your friends, and -” “And I still would have wanted your number.” He reached up, fingers moving over your jaw and guiding you down until your lips met. “What about you? You think you would have been interested in a single father twenty years ago?” 
“Yes.” You swallowed hard, Joel’s mention of his daughter for the second time that night surprising you. “Yeah, Joel. Definitely.” It was the truth - and you didn’t want him to think otherwise. “But I still wouldn’t have held back with the beanbags.” He snorted, waiting until you’d tucked your head against his shoulder again to continue. 
“That doesn’t answer my question.” He was running his fingers up and down your arm lazily, chest rising and falling beneath your hand. “I said a football game. If you coulda met me back then, where do -” You cut him off, immediately knowing your answer. 
“You know how in your 20’s, everyone just sort of decided they wanted to be a musician?” He affirmed, and you continued. “My friend group was no different. So.” You paused, letting yourself imagine it. “So, if I could have met you before, it probably would have been in some dive bar with a stage. I would have been there because I promised my friends I’d check their band out, and you’d be there -”
“Because I was lookin’ for cheap beer and live music.” His laugh that time was loud, the motion of his hand stopping as he squeezed your arm. “So, in this scenario, is your friends’ band any good?” “Absolutely not.” You groaned, for the first time in years thinking back to the times you actually had gone to the types of concerts you were describing to him. “I would have been trying to leave as soon as I could have without being rude, and you probably would have tried to convince me that you could play guitar better than anyone on the stage.” Patting his chest with your hand, you went on. “And you said you were terrible back then, so it would have been a lie, but I probably wouldn’t have cared either way.” Not probably, definitely. I definitely wouldn’t have cared.
You were both quiet after that until he said your name. Yeah? “I’m comin’ back.” A chill ran through your body, but you didn’t say anything in return, though you knew that he could see how wide your eyes were. “We all are. It’s just a supply run, and I’m coming back. Here, to you.” He doesn’t make promises, not unless he can keep them.
“Joel, I -” He kissed you hard then, rolling toward you and covering the top half of your body with his. There was desperation in it, and for the first time that night, you felt the old Joel in his actions - the man trying to convince himself with his words and actions just as much as he was trying to convince you. “I know.” You whispered the response against his lips, and then realized that there were tears leaking from the corners of your eyes. “I know you’re coming back.” Your voice shook - but only slightly, and when the two of you were finally laying down again, he held you tightly against his body, lips pressed to the exposed skin at the place where your neck hit your shoulder.  
You didn’t know how long it took, but you finally began to drift off, the motion of his chest rising and falling against your back thee only thing making it possible. On the edge of sleep, you felt him shift, and then the man’s lips landed against the spot just behind your ear, lingering there as he tightened his hold briefly. He spoke your name quietly, waiting a beat, and then continued. “I love you, and I promise I’m comin’ home.”
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*Divider by @firefly-graphics
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tinyyblue · 2 days ago
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It’ll be Alright
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Notes: i. had an entirely different note but i didn’t expect to be able to have this posted on just in time for his birthday so here we are!! Happy birthday Soobinnie, i may upload a short for his birthday if i have the time, but otherwise take this angsty thing. I hope this fluffy bunny has the best day ever <3
Angst, fluff || choi soobin x reader
Playing back the scene that had happened a few seconds ago downstairs, you close your eyes and tilt your head to the side tiredly, a hand resting on the stair rail as you stood out of sight from your parents.
It wasn’t the first time that you took your boyfriend Choi Soobin to visit your parents, and they had reprimanded, also not for the first time, about how your boyfriend wasn’t a good match, that you should look for someone with a stable job, and not a risky one based entirely on talent and opinion.
You had always thought that the fire had gone down everytime you brought him, but instead of going down, it roared back in your face.
And it burned.
It was deja vu when you exhale out another sigh, walking towards your room where Soobin had been. After happenings like these you both always giggled and mimicked the remarks that your parents threw at you and Soobin, and it made you smile as it was a way that you both used to make light of the situation.
“Hey Soob, you wouldnt believe what they said this time…” you trailed off when, upon stepping into the room, you see him leaning on your desk, half sitting and half standing. He hadn’t moved, nor had he raised his head to look at you. You look at him quizzically from where you stood, raising a brow. “What’s going on?”
Silence, and then finally, a sigh.
“I’m breaking up with you.” he says, eyes hard as he tears his gaze from the floor to look up at you.
You stare at him blankly, did you…mishear him?
“Im sorry…?”
“I’m breaking up with you.” He repeated, sighing as he looks away from you,” I don’t need all this criticism and I can tell when I’m not wanted (y/n), I’ve had enough of it.”
“What do you mean?” You asked incredulously,” I don’t understand, why are you—“
“I’m ending this. I can’t stand trying so hard and never being able to please your parents. I’m leaving and that’s it.” He rebuked firmly.
And that’s when you see his hands shake. They’re clutched together tightly over his legs, knuckles white with how hard they were held together, but yet the four limbs still noticeably vibrate. The dawn of your realisation causes a tension filled silence that hung in the air that resulted, as you observed, of the shaking growing stronger.
Why was he shaking..?
“(y/n)” he spoke a little louder, his voice suddenly cracking.” What are you—“
And you knew “Don’t.” you interrupt harshly as you walk over to him feeling slightly angry that he would think, or even do such a thing.”Don’t you dare disobey me coraline! finish that sentence Choi Soobin.”
You hit him, hard and and square on his arm and he gives you a stunned expression. Huffing as you take his clutched hands, you pull them apart and look at them, seeing nail marks imprinted into his palms.” Look at what you’ve done you big stupid idiot.” You muttered.” You’ve hurt yourself for no reason.”
He doesnt say anything, nor do you look at him either, focusing on his hands in yours instead, you always found the differences in size amusing, and you felt protected whenever he held yours, his big one enveloping your slightly smaller one. The protests from before and his act, all of it compiled up in your head, breathing in deeply, you sigh, reigning in your frustration to speak calmly.
“I’m not going to leave you.”
“What—“
“Don’t ever act like you want to break up just because you think it would benefit me, because I can’t— I won’t do it.” You say in a rushed, angry tone.”I won’t live it down, you’re insane if you think i can live without you after having you in my life for so long and besides…”
” …you’re like the best thing in the world to happen to me,” You smile sadly, suddenly feeling hot tears of relief blur your eyes.”I can’t just..” you choked.” I can’t just throw it away because of something like this.”
Suddenly, he brings you into a hug, an equally shaky sigh of relief erupted from him.” I’m sorry.” He whispered resting his forehead on your shoulder.” Don’t cry, please, I was going to make it so you wouldn’t have to cry..” he whispered frustratingly.” Im sorry, im so sorry, I didn’t want to leave either I swear it.” Clutching you tighter, he whispers even quieter, so soft that you wouldn’t be able to hear him if he wasn’t near your ear.” I’m sorry (y/n) please don’t cry.”
“Please never do this ever again” You breathe out after a while,” if there’s something on your mind please just tell me, we can work something out, like we always do…I know its hard and i know that it hurts but I’m okay…” you mutter softly,” …because I’m with you.”
Because you’re here with me.
For a long, long and quiet time in the stillness of the night you both stay in the same spot, sniffling, comforting each other, whispering, in no hurry to move, in no hurry to seperate from each other as the yellow lamp light that sat on your desk illuminated your two still figures,
“We’ll be alright.” He whispered, after a moment of silence.
“Yeah.” You smile, looking at him.
We’ll be alright.
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yannowhatigiveup · 2 days ago
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Day 3: Attention
Oops, I posted late. Sorry
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Marinette walked down the hall to Damian's room, the door was open but she knocked anyway. She heard a faint "Come in, Angel." and walked into the room, shutting the door behind her. There gaze landed on her boyfriend, who was at his desk. He had been there for nearly three days straight, Marinette wasn't exactly sure if he had slept. The girl went over to the bed, sitting next to Alfred the cat.
"You're still not done with that?" She asked him and Alfred got comfortable on her lap.
"Unfortunately not, mon amour." Damian replied, looking over some cctv footage. A few days ago, Tim, Bruce and Barbara, had begun a case that they needed to get finished before Christmas. But he had an unexpected mishap which forced him to visit one of the branches of Wayne Enterprises, leaving the other two to work on it. What they didn't know was that Damian was helping as well, despite Bruce saying that he shouldn't get involved.
"Does Bruce know about this?" She already knew the answer, she didn't know why she even asked.
"Father is busy with his business trip, it's best that he remain undisturbed." The teen replied quickly, Marinette frowned to herself. She understood that he just wanted to prove that he could help, but he wasn't going the right way about it. In all honestly, he was becoming like her, always staying up late to finish a project while running on five cups of coffee. Actually, he was becoming like Tim. Marinette desperately wanted him to take a break and she had tried, but every attempt was a failure.
Marinette sighed, running her fingers through Alfred's fur. Then the cat stood up, jumped off of the bed and onto Damian's desk. The cat purred and the teen looked over at the feline, scratching his head. Alfred purred and jumped onto his owner's lap, ready to take a catnap. Damian paused, smiled at his pet's actions and continued on with his work. Marinette froze, an idea forming in her mind. She looked at the time, it was just past midday.
She stood up. "I'm going to get something to drink, you want anything?"
"I'm fine, Angel." Damian replied, flicking through some of the tabs he had.
"Okay then." Marinette went over to Damian's chair and hugged him from behind. "Don't take too long on this." She kissed his cheek and he grabbed her hand before she pulled away.
"I promise I'll finish this as soon as I can." Damian vowed, bringing her hand to his lips. Marinette smiled and left the room, going downstairs. Her plan was going to work.
~~~
Damian sighed, he hadn't expected for this case to impede his time with Marinette but since he had started it, he had to finish it. He wanted to prove to his family that he could be of use for these types of things, this case would be the perfect opportunity. However, he had underestimated how complex the whole thing would be, and he knew he was so close to finishing it as well. All he needed was the drug lord's real name and he would be done. The sound of a door opening caught his attention.
"Dami?" Damian felt his body relax at the sound of his girlfriend's voice. "I need your help with something."
He swerved around in his chair, safely setting Alfred the cat down on the floor and immediately standing up away from his work. Sure, it was important, but Marinette's importance was far beyond that of some silly case. "Of course Angel, what is it?"
"I need you to do something for me." She walked passed him, standing in a different part of the room. He move to stand next to her.
"Alright..." He sounded skeptical, but he was opposed just yet. "What do you need me to do."
Instead of answering, she took a step closer, closing the small gap between them. Her hands reached up to his shoulders, he saw her get onto the tips of her toes. Her face got dangerously close to his own. Damian gulped, curious as to what she would do next, when he was violently shoved onto the bed. He blinked, eyes wide. "Wh-"
"You wouldn't rest, so I'm forcing you to." Marinette smiled at her boyfriend, climbing onto the bed to lie down next to him. She rested her head on his chest, eyes closed, wrapping her arms around him. "If your wondering, I needed you so I could get comfortable. I'm tired."
Damian looked down at her and sighed. "Of course. Rest well, my love." He placed a kiss on her forehead, shifting his position so that both of them could be comfortable. Gently, he stroked his fingers through her hair, smiling down with his love-filled gaze. She was so stubborn, just as he was, it was one of the things that brought them together in a way. But she had him in mind, something that was of great honour to him. Damian always told himself the she was way out of his league, this was just one of the many examples. Taking her hand to his lips one more time, Damian let his head rest on the pillow, allowing sleep to take over.
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Hiya Birdie, I’m Hera! I just recently stumbled upon your amazing blog and I am so in love with your writing.
That being said I saw your mention of requests?! I’d love to propose one (if it strikes your writing fancy that is!)
From your Christmas 🎄 Prompt list I thought it would be cute to have #48 with scenario #17. It’s can be full of fluff (and smut, I wouldn’t mind that lol) but honestly, I’ll love whatever you come up with!
But only if you’re still taking requests, if not please disregard all of this! Hopefully I haven’t wasted your time.
I hope you have an amazing day! 🖤
Hera, my darling, I have had such a good time getting to know you the past few weeks. Thank you so much for being so kind and uplifting always, and thank you for your endless encouragement. I hope this is all you asked for and more, and I'm going to be writing a part two for you that will be posted the week before Christmas. Thank you for your patience with me, too, as I worked on this to get it just right.
Words: 2.5k
Warnings: fluff, sweetness, Christmas cuteness
A Thousand More
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Bucky checked the clock again even though he knew exactly how long it had been since he last checked. Thirty minutes left until you were done with your shift at the medbay and headed to your apartment. He sucked in a deep, steadying breath and turned back to his project. This had to be completely done, and done right, before you got off work.
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You bent down to touch your toes, trying to decompress the tension in your spine after a long day standing and working. Being a nurse wasn’t an easy job, and the Avengers you looked after didn’t make it any easier. Before they recruited you for this job, you worked at the local hospital. When aliens fell out of the sky, you happened to be on duty. You grabbed an old blue duffle bag out of the lost and found and stuffed it with as many first aid supplies you could get in it before running out into the street. You were a one-woman combat medic squad dashing here and there, helping everyone you could. Eventually, a few more nurses joined you and you set up a triage crew so you could be more efficient. There was no telling how many dozens of lives you saved that day, and the Avengers took notice.
Six months of extra medical training and another six of combat training later, you were the Avenger’s personal nurse on missions. And today, you were helping patch up a team of new recruits that had gone on an “easy” mission and came back with bullet holes, bruises, and a broken ulna. Once you were satisfied they were fine, you had clocked out and made a dash for the door before anyone else could ask for your help.
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Bucky sat in your room on the edge of your bed, his leg bouncing aggressively. Every fiber of his being was thrumming with nervous energy as he waited for you to walk in the door. Eight minutes late. He couldn’t stand sitting any more so he stood up to pace the room. But then the doorknob rattled and turned, swinging open to reveal your weary smile.
“Hey, baby. Sorry I’m late,” you called as you toed off your shoes and dropped your things on the table in the entryway.
He shook his head. “Nah, ‘s’all good. So, uh if it’s ok with you and you aren’t too tired, I have a special date night planned.”
“That sounds perfect. Do you have anything in particular I should wear?” You sauntered over to him and kissed him sweetly.
“Yeah, I grabbed a couple dresses from your closet and set them on the bed, either one is good or you can pick a different one.” He swallowed hard when he saw you pick up the pretty blue dress that flared out a little at the bottom instead of the green one. My favorite.
You started talking as you headed to your bathroom to change. “You’ll never guess what happened at work today. So I’m standing there, double checking the new kid’s charts, which she got all the info down perfectly by the way, anyway I’m standing there and the alarms start going off.” Bucky smiles to himself while you ramble, trying to catch a peek of you in the bathroom mirror. “And then that bitch tells me that it’s not a hard job! Excuse me? I’d love to see her take out NINE BULLETS in twenty minutes from the new recruits. I mean come on, what kind of arrogant asshole…Bucky, stop trying to look, it ruins the effect if you see me before I’m ready. And don’t hold your hands up like you’re innocent, I can see you too, ya know!”
You finished zipping up the dress and fixing your hair as you wrapped up your story about the day. “How do I look?”
“Stunning, absolutely gorgeous.” He walked over to you and wrapped his arms around your waist. Your arms went up around his neck and he bent his head down, brushing your lips with his. “You ready for your surprise?” You closed the distance between you and he groaned softly into your kiss. His tongue swiped your lower lip, begging to be let in and you obliged happily. The slipslide of his tongue against yours was like a drug, chasing away all the negative emotions you were holding on to from the day.
After what felt like hours, he pulled away and rested his forehead against yours before standing up straight and gazing lovingly at you a moment.. He took your hand and guided you out of your room and down the hall to his.
“Ok, do you trust me?” he asked nervously. His hand started to tremble a little in yours and he gripped your hand tighter.
You studied his face, trying to figure out what was going on. “I trust you with the world, Bucky.”
He nodded slightly and turned the door handle. “Before we go in, can you close your eyes?”
You let your eyes drift closed and smiled, getting a bit nervous yourself.
He carefully led you into his room and made sure the door was shut all the way before he let go of your hand. He moved to the center of the room and took a deep breath. “Ok, open ‘em.”
Your eyes fluttered open and you gasped. The can lights in the ceiling were dim and flames from a dozen or more candles flickered around the room. He had moved his bed and most of his furniture over to the far side of the room and scattered red rose petals all over the empty space. By the smell of it, they were real and that made your heart beat even faster because that meant he had put extra effort in. You glanced up from the blood red petals and up to the wall that used to be empty space.
Strung from one end of the room to the other was a long piece of hemp cord with a hundred or more photographs of you clipped to it with mini clothespins. “Oh, Buck,” you whispered as you walked over to the pictures. A lot of them were candid, you hadn’t even realized he was taking a picture of you. As you looked, you realized he had hung them up in chronological order. “You spent so much time on this. Thank you.”
“I wanted you to see how beautiful you are, whether you’re trying to or not. You remember this one?” He pulled one off the line and handed it to you. It was a snapshot of you in your pajamas, hair all messy, taking a sip out of a red coffee cup with your eyes closed.
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You shuffled into the kitchen, tired and grumpy. The process of moving into the Avengers tower and setting up your apartment was much less glamorous than it would seem, and you had yet to find your pillow. As you glared around the room, trying to see who was in there through your bleary vision, you decided the room was empty. You picked up the coffee pot to discover it was empty. You harrumphed and opened the cabinet to get out the coffee grounds to make more, but the container was empty too. Just as you were about to lose your temper, a warm mug of coffee was pushed into your hand.
“Here, Sam used the last of it this morning. Saved you a cup though.” Bucky turned and walked back to the couch he had been sitting on the whole time.
You turned around to face him and leaned against the counter. The earthy scent wafting up from the cup was delicious so you brought it up and took a sip, your eyes drifting closed to savor it.
“Thanks. Y/n, and you’re Barnes?” You glanced over at him and smiled a little when you realized he had probably been there to hear you cussing under your breath.
“Yup.”
“Nice to meet you. ‘M gonna go back to my room. See ya ‘round.”
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“Yeah, we met that morning. I didn’t even realize you were there until you gave me that cup.” You grinned up at him and he put the photo back.
“I know. You were adorable and so sleepy. I actually hadn’t saved you that cup, it was mine. I just felt so sorry for you and it was a good excuse to introduce myself.”
You pretended to be shocked. “Our entire relationship started with a lie?” You shot him a wink when he blushed. “It’s ok, that’s really sweet of you to give up your caffeine for little ole me.”
You looked down the line before you found another favorite memory. In this picture, you were studying a menu in a diner, and Bucky was obviously across the booth from you. Your eyebrows were scrunched together creating a little wrinkle between them that Bucky thought was the cutest thing in the world.
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“C’mon, doll! It’s a diner menu, not a manual to build a rocket. Why’re you focusing so hard?” Bucky teased you from across the table.
“I’ll have you know that first date food is very important,” you sassed back.
He snorted. “Is that so? Please enlighten me then.”
“Well,” you started with a huff. “If I order spaghetti, then it’s going to be messy as hell and it’s not going to sound attractive at all when I’m slurping noodles. If I order the garlic butter burger which seems to be their specialty, then I’m going to smell and taste like garlic tonight if you decide to kiss me on the first date. That would be a terrible first impression.”
Bucky laughed and shook his head. “I wouldn’t care, you know that. Cause we’ll have eaten at the same place, I’ll taste and smell the same way. But please, continue.”
“Ok, if I order the onion rings? I’m gonna be tasting onions the rest of the night. Or what if I order the hotdog and get choked on it? Did you know that 17% of all food-related asphyxiations are caused by hot dogs? What if you have to do the Heimlich on me and break my ribs on the first date? That would ruin the rest of the night.” You couldn’t hold your laughter any more at Bucky’s horrified face.
“So what are you going to eat?”
“Cheeseburger and fries, of course!” you giggled as he rolled his eyes. When the waitress came to the table, he ordered two burgers and two orders of fries, and two chocolate shakes for dessert.
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“That was the best first date I’ve ever been on,” Bucky murmured as he kissed your temple.
The two of you went down the rest of the line, talking about dates to the fair or missions you had gone on with him over the past couple years you had been together. “I’ve had these printed off for a while,” he finally admitted once you got to the end. “I like to look at them when you’re busy or I’m down. It helps, seeing your face when you aren't here. You brighten up every moment, just like the sun.” He turned and put on a record before taking your hand. “Dance with me?”
The melodic tune of The Christmas Waltz played through the speakers of the record player as he lead you around the room, spinning you out only to bring you back into the safety of his arms. He was gentle, careful, loving. So much attention on you every step of the dance. When the music faded out and a pretty pink flush tinted your cheeks, he pulled you even closer and swayed with you in the midst of the now-scattered rose petals. “Y’know, Christmas is almost here.”
You hummed in agreement and rested your cheek against his as he held you.
“I’ve got a couple presents for you, but I’m curious. If you could have anything in the world, what would it be?”
You leaned back a little so you could look into his ocean blue-green eyes as you thought. “This. If I could have anything in the world, I’d ask for a thousand nights just like this one. Not with all the candles and dancing and huge show of love, that’s all very lovely and appreciated by the way, but a thousand nights with the man I love safe and happy in my arms. And when I’ve had all thousand of those, I’d ask for a thousand more.”
Tears pooled in his eyes and he stepped away from you, reaching into his pocket. “Well, I need to ask you something then.” He dropped down on one knee and pulled a small velvet box out of his pocket. It opened with a soft click and tears filled your own eyes. “Y/f/n, will you marry me? I promise I’ll love you for thousands of nights just like tonight.”
“Yes,” you gasped. “Yes yes yes YES!” You lunged at him, nearly tackling him to the ground as you hugged and kissed him in your excitement. He laughed as he stood up, picking you up with him. He spun you around one good time before setting your feet back on the floor.
“Can I put the ring on your finger now?” He asked through the barrage of kisses.
“Oh!” you breathed. “Yeah, please, it’s so pretty Buck. How did you know what I liked?”
He slid the golden band on your finger and brushed his thumb over the pretty, round center stone. He shot you a crooked smile and admitted that he used your phone to look through your Pinterest boards. “Natasha said you had a whole collection of rings you liked, and I just picked something that looked like the rings you liked the most. Plus, this one kinda looked like the one my Ma used to wear. I wish I had hers to give you, but you like this one?”
“Oh, baby, I love it. I love you.” You tipped your face up and he answered your silent request by pulling you in for a searing kiss. You were breathless by the end of it and his hands were firmly gripping your waist.
“You still wanna wait until the wedding night?” he asked quietly, his thumbs playing with the hem of your shirt.
“Please? I want it to be special.” He nodded and smiled at you.
“That’s my girl. I wouldn’t have done anything with you tonight anyway, it’s been too important to you for too long. But…” he pulled back slightly to see you clearly. “It won’t be too long, will it?”
You kissed his nose. “How about the week before Christmas? Is that too soon?”
“I’d marry you tonight if you wanted to, but I think I can wait until the week before Christmas. Can we dance again?”
You sighed and melted into his embrace. “Sway with me, Sergeant.”
💙💙💙💙💙 Thank you for reading, I’d love to hear what you thought! If you wanna see more of what I’ve written, here’s my masterlist; its also the top pinned post on my blog. It has info about Tag Lists you can join, Request Guidelines, and my Prompt Collection if you’re interested. Love y'all!
Tag List: @striving4averagegirl @luckyladycreator2 @tiredmamamac @babebr @luxeavenger @goldylions @barnesafterglow @hallecarey1 @sergntbarnes @doll1917 @writing-for-marvel @missusbarnes-rogers @tinctureofmaddness @learning-howto-be-myselfx3 @jeanieeelopezreads @marvelatthetwilight @silentkiller2374 @ashpeace888 @saturn-barnes
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fa-by · 2 days ago
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Help a friend out
Hey my babies, how are you?
Can I ask you a favor? Could you go report (as ‘spam’ will do) this post: https://www.instagram.com/p/CWmmdNNMT0G/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link?
This person, whoever they are, has been very disrespectful to me and to what I asked to all of you in my AMAs post. These kinds of people are exactly the reason why I regret every single time doing posts like that. It's not fair to me, and it's not fair to all of you who are kind and respect other people's decisions.
I know they didn't copy what I wrote (thankfully, at least one thing), but they still stole some of my pics, and worst thing, they tagged Carlene and Chelsea in two of them. The point is, they could very well have gone to the original accounts that some of those pics came from (Mila's and Justine's ones) and taken screenshots from them, but no. They had to steal those from me, plus some that I created myself as collages. I did research and wasted hours and days putting everything together for that post. I mean, you guys know this. You know how long it took me to create that post. I know this isn't that bad compared to anything else because they're just pics, but it doesn't make it right anyway. It doesn't make it right for me, and for all those who like me, work their asses off to then get ‘robbed’ just like that.
And yeah, I'm also talking about a lot of you here on Tumblr. I saw two YouTube channels, one called Chonops Production and the other one called Kellyzzlee CS, who like to steal posts from here and post them as if they were their own work. I know about Chonops Production because they stole one of my love’s posts about Thinkin' 'Bout One for which she had to ask them to delete it. And the first time, they pretended to do it by hiding it to then posting it again, and the second time, just a few days ago, I myself started reporting them because the video was back there again. As for Kellyzzlee CS, on the other hand, I know about them because they stole every single analysis of @karlaswine​ passing it off as their own (I told Karla's Wine when I found out), and then, since she's on an indefinite hiatus, Kellyzzlee CS started to steal someone else's analysis from here on Tumblr. I don't remember from who, guys, and I'm really sorry, but if you wrote analysis, then I recommend you to go check their channels because your work might have been stolen by them without you even noticing it.
People like una_camren_shipper_mas / Fernanda Lieberher, Chonops Production, and Kellyzzlee CS, are people who like to steal from others and take their credit. Credit of a work they didn't do. Credit they don't deserve.
And I'm referring to you three now. I don't know if Chonops Production and Kellyzzlee CS are following me or if they'll read this through some re-blogs, but I'm referring especially to you una_camren_shipper_mas / Fernanda Lieberher that you stole from me. Instead of taking what's not yours from others without asking their permission and passing it off as your work, why don’t you learn to be less lazy and use your brain to create something instead of stealing it from others? Oh, oh, wait. I do know the answer. Because it's easy in your way, right? It's simply easier to steal, post, and get praised for that because anyway the other ones who follow you don't know it's stolen, right? Wow. Congratulations. My most sincerely fake congratulations 👏🏼.
When I noticed this, my girlfriend commented in their post with her finsta:
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Translation: “Those pictures are not yours, they belong to a CS fan that explicitly asked that her theories and pictures were not uploaded in other social media outside Tumblr. Please * hide the post * and contact the owner of the post where you copied the pictures from so that she can tell you if she wants and in which way you can post her theories or edits.”
She was nice to them. And what did una_camren_shipper_mas / Fernanda Lieberher do? Not only did they completely ignore her, but they deleted her comment and blocked her. Then I commented with my finsta, and after seeing that the pics were still there, I commented a second time by giving them the last chance to make up for it. But guess what? They deleted my comments and blocked me too. This happened today. And now I'm tired of their attitude. So, babies, I'm asking you too the favor to go report that post please 🙏🏼. The more reports are accumulated (I don't know how many exactly are needed) the more the social network concerned, in my case IG, is required to take action by shutting the post down.
This is what people like that deserve. And if you want, even report anyone else who has stolen (without asking permission and without giving credit) something that doesn't belong to them on other social media because it's really not fair to the owners. I know that this kind of thing like ‘reporting’ someone/something may seem silly to you, but it's not, because it's a way to teach that kind of people a lesson.
As small as this thing may look, it can at least make one difference. And who knows, if everyone started doing it, it might make a big difference because those people would stop doing it (stealing other people's work).
Thanks for your time, and thanks in advance to all those who are gonna actually do it for real and that won't just read this 🙏🏼❤.
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Hi! Could you maybe write 3 and 27 for Dakota and sick Madix with food poisoning? Maybe they are hanging out, and Madix starts feeling sick and then Dakota starts noticing that something is wrong. Bonus tips if Madix doesn't feel better after throwing up, so they have to sit on the bathroom floor for a while and wait. Sorry it's so unoriginal, I just really love their relationship. And I hope it fits their personalities. I'm a little paranoid lol, anyways I love your writing <3
Anon, I'm sorry it took me so long to post this! But it was lots of fun to write ;)
The dialogue prompts come from THIS lovely post.
3. "Take some deep breaths."
27. "Why are you holding your stomach?"
-----------------------------
Madix felt like puking as a Christmas song blared through the mall’s speakers.
Generally speaking, Madix had no problem with holiday music. It was December after all, and he and Dakota were shopping for gifts for their partners. Yes, it was prime time for this type of music as snow fell on the many cars that filled the mall’s parking lot.
It wasn’t the jingles bells that made him shuffle along miserably behind Dakota. His stomach sloshed and gurgled beneath his hand as he struggled to keep up with his friend. There was something spoiling in his belly like curdled eggnog, but he didn’t have the chance to stop and moan about it because Dakota was desperately going in every store, barely stopping to read the names of the places.
Madix finally caught up with Dakota in a store called Bentley. He stifled a burp with his fist while leaning on the wall to steady himself. “Hey, Kota,” he began, feeling the contents of his stomach settle back into place, “do you think we can slow down?”
Dakota looked around nervously at the many suitcases and backpacks. He didn’t even know if Blair needed a bag. “Easy for you to suggest, you already found something for Riley.”
That was true. Riley was easy to shop for because he voiced his love for so many things. His current obsession was notebooks. Madix easily found a leatherbound book that he knew Riley would like. For the last few months, Riley had been filling their bedroom with used journals. He was a rare breed—someone who bought notebooks and wasn’t afraid to write in them. He wrote down his dreams, school notes, reminders, and random shower thoughts. The boy was flying through the journals every week, probably because he also had a habit of writing in font size 48.
Madix was pleased with this gift. He managed to find it early on in the day—before lunch in fact. He imagined that he would have a hard time finding a present now that his whole body was weighed down by his heavy meal. Every part of him was exhausted. His feet ached from walking and his belly groaned from the effort of trying to digest the spicy chicken he had for lunch.
It was well past the lunch hour now, but Dakota still had not found something for Blair. “I don’t know what she wants,” he said while dragging his hand over the many bags. “Do you have any ideas?”
“I don’t fucking know, she’s your girlfriend,” Madix snapped. The look of surprise on Dakota’s face made him regret being so cold. Dakota just wanted to find something nice for Blair. “I’m sorry. I really don’t know, but do you think you can hurry up?”
“I’m trying…” Dakota answered honestly.
"Why are you putting so much pressure on yourself?"
"I don't know..." Dakota trailed off.
Despite feeling like he was running of time, Dakota stopped browsing the shop for a moment and really looked at his friend. Madix seemed uncharacteristically impatient…and grey, he noticed. “What’s up with you? Are you okay?”
Madix sighed. He was nauseous and just wanted to go home, but he wasn’t going to make Dakota feel more rushed. “I’m fine. I’m just tired from being out all day.”
“Yeah, me too,” Dakota said. “I saw a bench out there if you want to sit down while I look around.”
That actually sounded fantastic, so Madix did exactly that.
He put his shopping bag next to him on the bench, hoping that no one was going to come along and grab it if he accidentally closed his eyes.
And he did accidentally close his eyes. He never fully slept though because his body wouldn’t let him. The sounds of the mall were too loud, and his stomach was too upset. He still felt so full even though they ate more than two hours ago. His belly should have settled by now, but it didn’t. The organ continued to gurgle. The rolling movement from inside his gut made him shiver. He swallowed down waves of heartburn and nausea for the next twenty minutes.
...
“Madix.”
Madix jumped out of his skin and blinked his eyes open to see Dakota standing over him. Had it already been twenty minutes? He could have sworn that he only just sat down. Though judging by the worsening state of his belly, Dakota had been gone for a bit. But worst of all, Dakota wasn’t carrying any bags.
“Were you asleep?” Dakota half laughed.
“No,” Madix mumbled groggily. He was telling the truth, but it almost felt like he had been asleep. His head was stuffy, and he squinted up at his empty-handed friend. “You didn’t find anything?”
“No. God, I hate shopping.”
Madix wanted to cry. He wanted to go home. He wanted the nausea to disappear. But none of those things happened. Instead, he did the exact opposite of what he wanted by standing up slowly. He rose from the bench with his hand wrapped around his middle, preparing for another lap around this stupid mall. Everything got worse as he stood.
“Why are you holding your stomach?” Dakota asked as he placed his hand on his friend’s shoulder. Madix looked considerably worse with dark circles under his eyes.
Maybe it was the drowsiness, but Madix found himself admitting to how bad he felt. “I don’t think lunch is sitting so well,” he finished with a hiccup and a hand over his mouth.
Dakota kept his hand on the boy’s arm, afraid that if he let go then Madix would topple. “Shit Mads, it looks like you’re about to be sick. Maybe you should stay sitting.”
“No…” Madix mumbled while brushing Dakota’s hand off him. Like a hunched-old man, he walked away from the bench, away from his shopping bag, and away from his worried friend.
“Seriously, dude. I’m not going to make us stay here any longer.” Dakota followed hesitantly, wondering where Madix thought he was going.
Madix was going exactly where he thought he was going: to the trash can in the middle of the hallway. Dakota was entirely right when he said that Madix looked like he was about to be sick.
He gripped the edge of the trash can just as his tortured belly convulsed, sending up a wave of partially digested chicken and veggies. It fell from his mouth in a fountain of orange-brown liquid that burned like fire.
“Oh,” Dakota said to himself as he came up behind his friend. They stood in the middle of the mall as Madix heaved nosily. There was nothing he could do except rub the boy’s shuddering back. “Okay, just let it out, man.”
Madix’s shoulder rolled forward as more vomit rushed up his throat. He was grateful for the very-wide trash can, but was basically hating on everything other aspect of this situation. The sick burned his nose and throat on the way out. His stomach heaved so violently that he couldn’t stop the harsh sounds from escaping his mouth. Just great, he thought, this had to be one of the busiest places right now.
Dakota patted Madix’s back, surprised that there was still more coming out of his mouth. For as long as Madix stayed retching, Dakota kept rubbing between his shoulder blades, even when the smell hit him. “God, Maddy, what did you eat?” Dakota said, wondering if it was really just food that wrecked his stomach so bad.
Madix sniffled and groaned. “Ugh, it burns,” he said with snot running from his nose and tears running down his cheeks. It was the only thing he had the chance to say before he was belching up another wave.
Just as Madix thought he was never going to get a break, he choked up the last bit of sick…for the moment. When he finished, he panted over the trash can, feeling like every part of him was leaking.
Dakota still had his hand on his friend’s back which now rose and fell sharply. “Take some deep breaths.”
Madix forced himself to follow Dakota’s direction. He put his hand on his burning chest, gulping in air that he so needed.
“There you go,” Dakota said. “Take your time. Catch your breath.”
Madix finally straightened up, letting go of the trash can. The blood returned to his white knuckles. He wiped his eyes and nose with the back of his sleeve, feeling like death.
“Wow,” was all Dakota said.
Madix let out a shaky breath. “Ugh, my stomach feels so sick.”
“Still? You just threw up quite a lot.”
Madix burped over the garbage. He didn’t feel any lighter like he would have hoped. Still just as full and nauseous. “I can feel it…like sloshing in my belly. I’m sorry, this is gross.”
“Hey, don’t worry,” Dakota said gently, “You still feel sick, that’s fine. But maybe we should go to the bathroom before the next round hits, huh?”
“Yeah, that’s a good idea.”
Once in the men’s bathroom, Madix set his one bag on the ground. He knelt in front of the toilet thinking that it would be quick.
It wasn’t quick.
His gut was now properly disturbed, but it only gurgled as if mocking him. No, he wouldn’t get the relief of quickly throwing up; the nausea took its sickly-sweet time. Scratch that, it wasn’t sweet. It was hot like acid.
“Doesn’t sound like much is happening,” Dakota said. He took advantage of this break to wet a pile of paper towel.
Madix burped, but that was it. “I know I’m not empty.”
“Okay, then we wait.” Dakota got down on the ground next to Madix. He lightly touched the boy’s shoulder. “Look at me for a sec.”
Madix readjusted so that he could look at Dakota. They sat with their backs against the walls of the stall.
“You’re a mess, Dakota commented as he cleaned Madix’s face. He started with the sweat on his brown, then the line of snot under his nose, and finally the dried sick from his chin.
“I can do that…” Madix said shyly, reaching for wet paper. “You don’t have to—”
Dakota kept cleaning his face. “I don’t mind, Mads. Besides, you look really out of it.”
That was a gross understatement. Madix surrendered, letting his head fall back against the wall. “I’m never eating here again.”
“So, you think it was the food?”
Madix nodded. “It came on pretty suddenly after lunch. I didn’t say anything because I thought it would go away.”
“Well, I guess you can’t always be right.”
Madix didn’t say anything to this. Dakota watched as the colour drained once more from his face, and his throat bobbed up and down.
“Alright, sit up,” Dakota said, guiding his friend towards the toilet bowl. “That’s it. Let it happen.”
A wet burp splashed the back of Madix’s tongue with hot bile. He spit into the water below. Another belch came up from his belly, this one bringing up a sludge of sick.
Like before, once the vomiting started, Madix had no control over when he stopped. This time was better though because he actually felt a little less full with each wave.
“Yes, Mads,” Dakota encouraged as if he were cheering him on, “Get that shit out. I know it sucks, but keep going.”
Madix didn’t have much of a choice. He kept going.
He kept going until the muscles in his abdomen were sore, until it felt like his stomach was concave and dry. Thankfully, the sick didn’t burn as bad on the way up, probably because he was now getting into what he had for breakfast. He kept going.
And then, eventually he stopped with a heavy sigh.
“That sounded like a good sigh,” Dakota said, hopefully.
“It was. I think I’m done.”
“Good.” Dakota helped his friend off the ground. “Let’s get you home.”
“Wait, what are you going to give Blair for Christmas?” he asked.
Dakota shrugged, “Probably just the engagement ring I bought two weeks ago.”
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pinkhwaseong · a day ago
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Hi bestie! Idk if you’re still taking requests but when you have time can you write a dreamcatcher reacting to getting caught by the other members making out? or simply kissing if you’re umcomfy with that
A/N: Thank you so much for this request! I am so sorry that it took so long to post! I really enjoyed writing this! Some may be longer than the others, I got carried away with some.😅 I hope you enjoy reading it and please let me know if you would like anything else!💕💕💕
JiU(민지): The two of you had finally gotten time to yourselves with no members, no obligations, and no stress. It had been some time since you and Minji had gotten to be as close as you are. At this moment, your bodies pressed together as her breath fans over your face as she chuckles lightly at the thought of finally being able to show you how much she loves you. Cupping your face, she peppers kisses all over your face, stopping at your lips. Her lips were soft, as they danced in unison with yours. The two of you are in such euphoria. The sheer bliss of her warm hands running across the skin of your cheek, the smell of her sweet perfume tickling your nose, and the taste of her strawberry lip gloss that she had bought specifically because you liked the flavor. It was all almost too good to be true. And it was…
Just as Minji was about to lift your shirt over your head, Gahyeon and Yoohyeon burst through the closed door. Immediately their loud voices indicated they were arguing about something, but when it turned out that they were arguing about whether the infamous dress was black and blue or white and gold. JiU laughed, ushering them outside of the door slowly as they proceeded to banter with themselves. As soon as both of them were outside, she closed the door, locking it behind her. Turning around, a giant smile plastered on her face she says, “Where were we?”
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SuA(보라): You and Bora had known better than to have any PDA around the other girls unless you wanted unrelenting teasing. That being said, one thing most definitely leads to another, first a few light pecks while watching a movie on the couch and then full-blown making out. The space between the two of you closed as SuA pushed you onto your back, straddling you. Everything was so intense. It was as if the world around you didn’t exist and it was just you, Bora, and the kissing noises coming from behind the couch…
Bora’s head shot up, peeking her head behind the couch. On the floor behind the couch, Dami, Yoohyeon, and Siyeon cupped their hands around their mouths to cause the kissing noises to be louder. Yoohyeon made eye contact with SuA and burst out laughing, running away before getting a flick on the head. JiU came in, followed by Handong as the two of them chuckled lightly, minding their business as they went to their rooms. Bora looked at you with a wry smile plastered on her face. Pinching her cheeks, you laugh at her blushing face, kissing her cheek before returning to the movie.
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Siyeon(시연): More often than not, you and Siyeon would never do anything promiscuous in the dorm on account of the other members always barging around. However, today Siyeon had informed you that JiU was going to be practicing all day to make up for the sick day she took the day before. So when Siyeon expressed that she had a surprise for you and that she needed you to come to the dorm, you did not hesitate. After arriving, Siyeon pulls you into her room, closing the door before handing you a box of chocolate with a small rose attached. Jumping with joy the two of you began to kiss, moving closer to the bed as Siyeon moved you to straddle her lap.
The intense and alluring atmosphere was interrupted by JiU bursting through the room, rummaging through the closet and under her bed. You sit, still straddling Siyeon's lap as you watch her eyes track JiU around the room. A small smirk forms on her lips as you hear JiU whisper, “Oh, I'm sorry!” She hurried out of the room, coming back in quickly to get her phone. Siyeon’s eyes land on you, causing you to laugh as she cups your cheeks, planning to finish what she had started.
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Handong(한동): It was 9 in the morning. The sunshine peeked from the window, crossing over your eyes as the warm rays woke you up gently. Looking over you see Handong still asleep. She looked so peaceful, ethereal even. You couldn’t help but kiss her. As you lean back on your elbows, a smile came across her face. She opened her eyes, pulling you in for another kiss. She hummed lightly, loving the thought of waking up to you every morning. The two of you were simply enjoying each other's presence and sharing the same space. The way that your limbs tangle together haphazardly, made you feel closer than ever.
It was in this moment of pure bliss that Gahyeon rushed through the door screaming about someone drinking all of her soda. Handong immediately closed her eyes, pretending to sleep. Gahyeon paced back and forth, red in the face as she continued to fume about how she was going to watch a movie and drink them. Picking up that Handong was pretending to sleep to get Gahyeon to leave, you wave to capture her attention, pointing down at Handong’s “sleeping” figure. Gahyeon’s yelling soon turns into a whisper as she says, “Oh… I’ll be off then.” Handong opens her eyes smiling as you ask, “Was it you?”
“I didn’t know they were her’s!”
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Yoohyeon(유현): Admittedly, having a little rendezvous with Yoo in the only bathroom in the entire dorm was probably not the best of ideas. Not only were there six other members living there but also the sheer fact that the two of you had lost track of time. With you sitting on the sink counter and Yoo between your legs as both of your lips mindlessly intertwine. Yoo’s hands gently run over your exposed skin and your hands tangle in her soft hair, pulling ever so slightly.
It was all so perfect. Well, until the door swung open, hitting Yoohyeon in the elbow. Yoo let out a small yelp, rubbing her elbow to soothe the pain. SuA peaked her head from behind the door, giving you a small smile before pushing Yoo out of the way. She barged in, whining for the two of you to leave, before unbuttoning her pants. The two of you quickly cover your eyes. Yoo helps you down, pulling you out of the bathroom whilst closing the door behind her. Once the door clicked closed, you removed your hand, locking eyes with Yoo. The two of you giggle as Yoo pulls you towards the bedroom.
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Dami(유빈): It had been the perfect date night. There was some drinking and a lot of romance. All night, Dami’s hands had been wrapped around your waist, not wanting to lose you for a single moment. It had been hard for Yubin whilst promotions were going on. The busy schedules and fan meet and greets often left her exhausted socially and emotionally. However, she came up with the idea that you and her would spend time together once promotions had ended and they had a small break. All week the two of you had been joined hand and hand. The beach was the first destination and then a farm. Tonight was the last night Yubin would have off and she wanted to spend it completely with you.
Exiting the small, something club, the two of you walk back to her dorm. Upon arriving, Dami whines pulling you closer to her chest while peppering kisses on your cheek. Her hands clasp around the small of your back as she stares down at your lips. “I’m going to miss this…” she says, trailing off. With that you give her a soft peck on the lip, lingering for a bit before breaking away and saying, “I promise to call you whenever you’re free. And you can tell me about your day.” Yubin cups your cheek with her left hand, softly messaging the skin. As she was about to lean in, Siyeon shouts from the entrance of the building, “Do you guys want to watch me beat Yoohyeon in League?”
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Gahyeon(가현): It had been a long day at the studio, and Gahyeon was getting frustrated. Countless times she had heard “One more time.” After noticing that Gahyeon was having such a hard time getting in rhythm with the song, JiU suggested that everyone take a break. Gahyeon took the time to ask you to come to visit her at the studio and since you were close you had no problem doing so. The moment you arrived you were immediately embraced by Gahyeon. “What happened, Hyeonnie?” you asked. Gahyeon sighed, looking at you while saying, “I couldn’t get it right. I kept messing up. I…”
You kiss her, feeling her body immediately relax in your arms. She leaned further into the kiss, bringing her right hand to the back of your neck, while her left massaged the sides of your waist. All of her worry and self-doubt left her body, and she knew that she could do it. Not long after, the click of the door opened and a JiU warily walked through. Gahyeon held your hand and asked excitedly, “Can I try again?”
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specialk-18 · a day ago
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FRAT! BOY! TIM!! Pleeeeeeeeeeease gimme da concept cuz I’ve had a number of college au ideas for him but only really one loose frat idea, id love your input 😍😍
Alriggght bet! I'll answer it here. Context for anyone who's not me or Cocoa, this is the post we're referring to. Thoughts under the cut! I also didn't proof read this (bc I never do...) so I'm sorry in advance for any typos. Siri hates women.
I believe I read in your tags on some other post before that you've been to college, so I feel like I can say this to you and you'd know exactly what I'm talking about: frat guys. No other words need to be said. They're a different breed and it's so fucking wild to me. But I'll give you two concepts because why the hell not?
1. The boy you liked but he changed! Hidden sweetie.
Now...I don't wanna get sniped by those in Greek life, but...this is a safe space, right? 😅 I feel like you've know of some instance or another where you see ppl start to...behave differently once they're initiated. WELL, this is what the first idea is: you and Tim (you wanna call him Tim? Let's call him Tim) grew up together 🥺🥺🥺 inseparable! Your parents thought it was the sweetest thing. You two did everything together. Homework, after school activities, back to school shopping – you name it! You were at all the school dances together cutting up. It excited you when you both ended up getting into the same university. You figured he'd end up going to his first pick – which was conveniently located across the country 🙃 he, however, claims he got a better deal where you decided on going. Okay, sure.
Now, you two managed to make it through high school without being dragged apart, so you could surely make it through college...or so you thought.
Your school had a meet the Greek week! And your boy Tim was sought out by not one, but two frats. You scoffed as they essentially tried to poach him. You knew your best friend – he didn't seem like the type. He even joked with you about "those types of guys" when you were getting into the swing of things in college. Imagine your surprise when halfway through the first semester Tim starts getting flakey and he's very much absent for a week or two. He's a ghost.
And by ghost I mean ghost! He's barely answering your calls or responding to you on social media (why?). And when you catch him around he's very curt...and talking to people you've never seen him speak to before. You find it odd, but you don't press him. Hell, you had a few tests this week. Tim acting out of character was something you could ask about when he stopped acting so damn weird.
Now, prepare yourself to be extremely shocked when you hear where your bestie has been. He's been in hell week! But he made it through, and now he has his letters 🥳 but he also has a new group of friends, and after a while, he starts to develop a new ego.
That, you don't like too much. And let's skip some background bc this ones getting long, you two have a falling out. It hurts you immensely, I mean...this was your bestie! You loved him – wait, not like that! Or...like that?? Because you surely aren't familiar with the feeling in your chest when you see a woman hanging off his arm at a party your roommate dragged you to.
And damn, did you feel it...you hadn't seen Tim in a whileee and you missed him (not that you'd tell him that...). But he missed you too. And he spotted you...staring at him...so he stares back at you...and he starts to make his way over 🙇🏾‍♀️ ditching the girl to come and seek you out!
"Hey," he speaks loudly over the blasting music. The red cup in his hand tips you off that he's been drinking, and you wonder if he'd have even had the nerve to come up to you without the liquid courage. You weren't sure if you wanted to thank his frat buddies or not.
"Hi," you call – going for calm but you couldn't help the pitter patter of your heart 💗
He licks his lips, taking a moment to soak in your appearance, and you're thankful you took the extra time to look good tonight. You weren't planning to attract a man tonight, but you couldn't say this was too bad either.
"Can we talk for a bit?"
He almost looks nervous. Surely, he wasn't as nervous as you felt right now. Why were your hands so sweaty??
"Uhm...yeah, what's up?"
He glances around before focusing back on you, "can we chat upstairs? It's a bit loud down here."
Ooh, and here you heard from the grapevine that upstairs was off limits to everyone but the frat bros. And you'd heard rumors of why people usually snuck past the velvet red rope.
But hey, you were always a very curious person.
"Sure."
So he reaches out and holds out his hand to you; and you take it with an embarrassingly fast speed. You hadn't been around him in so longgg and you were aching to touch him in any way that you could.
Little did you know, he felt the same. Perhaps even more strongly.
Not that that's what he invited you upstairs for, lol. At least not at first. Who knows how that convo turned out tho 😗🎶
Damn that got long when I was supposed to cut it short lol. Anywayyy. To the next one!
2. Meet ugly** but he slangs great dick
Oh wow. Hehe. I was grading as I was jotting down the blue parts so you get to see my little descriptions before you hop on in.
Well...you know the deal. This one isn't as sweet and angsty as the first one. It's straight up, "I hate him but my 🐱 loves him" filth.
You meet him during Greek week. He's already in the frat, so this one is set sometime after your first years in college. Hell, maybe you'd even heard about him before actually meeting him. Anyway, frat boys do frat things and while in the quad, "T" (because he'd be called T in this universe) got dared to slap the ass of the most attractive girl he saw. Guess who he picked to harraSS?
Sorry, love, not everything is so sweet. Especially with a lot of testosterone involved.
Anyway, while you're walking with your girlies you hear some commotion around the quad. At first you don't think much about it. It's always loud on campus, but then you feel a sharp sting on your ass and you know DAMN WELL THIS ISN'T WHAT YOU THINK IT IS.
You whip around hella quickly and see the silly little guy in question. Timothee – or "T" as his dickhead friends called him. You had astronomy, of all classes, with this man last semester and he was annoying as SHIT in the back with one of his "brothers." Matter of fact...you think he was in your psych class this semester – but he barely showed up. You didn't have time for immature men, so you always steered clear of him. But todayyy you let him have it.
He didn't even try to run off when you turned and saw his tall lanky ass. Oh, so he was bold as well. Somehow that pissed you off even more. You let him have it in front of everyone, and he had the nerve to smirk at you like he was pleased from the turn of events. What the hell is wrong with him? White peopleeee
I joke, I kid! I hope I didn't lose you lmao. Fast forward some, it's mid semester and you get hit with the dreaded group assignment (my favorite college trope for enemies to lovers as you can tell. How the hell else do you get them together? 😭). You and "T" are set to work together for the next month on this goddamn project. Fuck your life.
He's obnoxious as hell during, and you figure the case study you were diagnosing for the class should have been on him. It seemed he liked to press your buttons, and you didn't know why. And it really started to grind your gears when you noticed how fluffy his hair looked...or how strong of a jawline he has...or how green his eyes were – fuck, you weren't doing this right now.
And you put up a good fight. That was until you two fell behind on the project and you had to pull an all nighter. Your roommate was sick so your dorm was off limits, and the library was closed, so where does that leave you to work? The dreaded frat house :/ dammit.
And "T" was apparently the "Vice President" so he had one of the big, cozy rooms 🌝 you were ashamed to admit your first thought was, "how many women has he had in here?" That wasn't your business. At least not yet.
Anyway, I don't know if y'all have ever experienced this, but those early a.m. conversations have you looking differently at a person. He was getting sleepy and his voice was getting deeper and the glossy look in his eyes made it look like he was leering at you – wait, was he leering at you? No, couldn't be.
You brushed the thought aside, and he randomly goes, "I'm sorry about earlier this semester...in the quad."
Ah...so he was capable of apologizing.
"It was a dumbass dare...but I can't say I wasn't pleased with the way your ass felt."
You spoke too soon.
"Why must you always be so disgusting? You couldn't have just left it at a simple apology?"
"Well...I could've," he leans a bit closer, and you realize how close you two were sitting at the top of his bed. "But then I wouldn't see you get all flustered. It's sexy, and I hate to say it, but I like when a woman bites back. Turns me on."
Oh...no. Why did your body react to that? Why is he smirking – what the fuck is going on?
"I think it does something to you too," he commented. "I saw the way your breath hitched in your throat. And I see the way you keep looking at my lips. You know, baby...I think you just don't wanna admit you like me."
"I don't fucking like you," you bit out.
He laughed, the deep rumble coming from his chest. "Fine, you don't like me. But at least admit you wanna fuck me."
LOL. You swore it was the hour. You shouldn't be allowed to make decisions after 2am because baybeeee. After the longest pause of your fucking LIFE you tossed those books aside and pounced on that man.
And you didn't know what you were expecting, but it wasn't thaAaAaAAt. You were expecting a quick roll in the sack to scratch that itch but honey...baby...Chile...he rocked your shIT. If you were wearing a wig it would've been tilted like T.I.'s fitted (shout out to the OG tumblr girly who came up with that joke sjskskskskak). You felt your soul leave your body man...and who would've known this lanky ass man would've done it to you? I'll tell you who. Jesus.
That was dumb as hell djsjsn anyway! Your pride won't let you admit that was anything short of a mini death, so you try and move past it and leave it as a one night stand. Poor "T" doesn't take too nicely to being ignored tho. So he takes every opportunity to press your buttons, and you figure the only way to shut him up is to...oop! Although, that ends up backfiring on you because you end up like 🥴🥴🥴 after every session. Him too, but in a different way.
This goofy shit is too long I'm sorry lol. I'm here everyday. Hmu if you want a ridiculous concept.
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buckyrhodey · a month ago
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My gift for @curvesomesunsets for the JATP Gift Exchange @jatpgiftexchange. I know this is technically another chapter in an already written story, but it stands as its own little story, too, so, I hope you like it :3
It didn’t help that Reggie once again tried to make Alex take the chocolate, distracting him from the road for a split second. A split second that was enough for the van’s tire to step on something, making them all shake inside.
“No, no, no, nononono,” Alex mutters but it’s futile.
Bobby’s grandma’s old van is slowing down by the road, its front right tire completely busted.
Gen, background Alex x Willie, 1K+
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stylishanachronism · a year ago
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Okay so we’re going to open with the fact that while Obsidian has at least one person on staff who understands armor, literally nobody understands clothing, especially historical clothing, and though they stumbled into something... acceptable in two and a half cases(1), literally everything else they’ve produced on the subject is garbage.
So what’s the most garbage cultural garb in Eora? I’m going to shock you, despite my complaining on the affront that is the Dyrwood, it’s actually the Vailians. They’re supposedly primarily metalsmiths and textile traders, (iirc Obsidian called Venice and the Phoenicians as the major guiding influences), with really strong textual aesthetic sensibilities, and yet they’re all wearing drab closefitting garments with neither wild shaping nor excess fabric, mostly in deeply boring greys. It’s like... bad period piece Renaissance Venetians, but make it 90s haute couture. It is *painfully* bad. Deadfire improves, a little bit, but these are supposedly the most baroque bitches around, I should be seeing vivid colors (especially in reds and blues and purples), rich blacks, and enough spare fabric to drown a medium sized child. Also lace. A famous vineyard’s worth of lace. At least blackwork, come on Obsidian they look cheap.
Based on Pallegina’s armor, I should also be seeing a ‘pigeon breast’ silhouette on literally everyone, or alternatively low, square cut bodices to show off extremely fancy underwear (and don’t worry, we’ll get to the underwear), and I should be seeing split hose, not pants, if I am seeing hose at all. I will accept pants for exactly two cultures and no more. and the Republics do not apply.(2) Deadfire did them a good turn by introducing brocades but where is the velvet. The silk. The weird hats. The dagged, slashed sleeves to show off the fact you’re rich enough to wear an overdress, an underdress, and then your underwear’s fancy as hell too. Everybody on the south-eastern half of the Eastern reach is wearing, at minimum, a chemise, hose, and if you’ve got boobs some sort of stays to keep said boobs put, and pockets, before you even get to their outerwear.and just like today, everybody wants pretty underwear. Embroidered cuffs and collars, clocked hose, lace on everything, if you’re rich, blackwork if you aren’t, extremely beautiful pockets, the works. The Republics, being the rich people with all the fabric, have canonically raised fashion to an art form, so they should be dripping with extra details, and they should not only be the only people with flat patterning, they should be reveling in that fact. They are not doing any of these things.
The second most garbage cultural garb is, of course, the Dyrwood. Again, I should be seeing lots of color, not necessarily saturated but given their climate and stated food products I can make an educated guess about what dye plants are around, so lots of greens and yellows and rusty-orange reds and (maybe) pale blues, and a billion extremely rich shades of brown and almost-black, mostly plainweave for themselves (they’re shipping out their brocades for the most part), but lots of embroidery again. They can keep the bracers, they’re the only canon-given detail I actually liked (and it plays into a different headcanon re: where the fuck did you get the standing army), but they don’t even get split hose, much less pants. Skirts for everybody! Again, these people are producing all the fabric, and it’s cold(ish), so multiple layers are a thing, as is excess cloth, and if you’re going to do that, you’ll dye your underdress a fun color to contrast with your overdress (which very well might be quartered, too), at the very least. There’s probably a lot of plain trimming, and guards, and they’re coming out of Aedyran fashion so there’s not a lot of shaping but stripes and plaids are probably a thing, and certainly no flat patterning. Think bilaut over later kirtles, with side lacing and belting around the waist for various purposes (like making your boobs stay put, depending on if you’ve got stays or not, or holding up said skirt when you’re working in the fields, to get it out of the way.)(3)
Based on the leather armor you pick up, I should also be seeing the beginnings of a more conical style, moving away from clothes you just drop over your head into separate skirts and bodices (for everybody, not just women), which still probably lace up the front or (more commonly) the sides. (There’s an argument to be made that kilts are a thing, coming out of Eir Glanfath, but it’s probably more of a western than an eastern thing, and frankly I’m not sold, get back to me on this.) Also, going back to my dearly cherished ring lace headcanon, pretty much everyone wears extremely beautiful knit lace shawls (but not trim, and not non-knit), because even if you’re selling all the really nice stuff you’ve still got piles and piles of little apprentices practicing their trade, and somebody’s got to wear it.
Unfortunately I just don’t have enough information about Glanfathians to say anything other than what they’re wearing is also probably garbage, and fashion is probably a hugely tribe-specific thing. More nomadic tribes probably don’t wear many wovens, probably saving what cloth they make or trade for for things like belts and blankets and carrying bags, but again, it should all be extremely colorful. You’ll see more shaping and piecework here, because leather does not appear in neat rectangles the way cloth does, and if you’ve already got that curve you might as well use it, lots of fur, mostly for warmth but also as decoration, and we might see Dyrwodian fashion influences with the more eastern tribes, depending on the mystery of what’s going down politically at that border and whether or not those tribes are more or less nomadic.
Ixmitl gets an honorable mention for having the most color and also horses, and so the pants are acceptable, but I’d like to see more color and more embellishment. And also more information. Rauatai gets an honorable mention for having actually reasonable rectangular construction on everything (clearly an accident but I’ll take it) and again, some color. Aedyr gets an honorable mention for having some logic put into it’s creation, even if that logic isn’t extended out to its colonies like it should be, and even if what we see in game makes it clear Obsidian doesn’t actually understand how things like chitons work.
Engwith gets all the honorable mentions for somehow being the most internally consistent culture as far as art and fashion go, despite 90% of that art and fashion being extremely hard to see frescoes, and the rest of it being Thaos. Yeah it’s basically a straight copy off Sumer but you know what? That just means it works.
At some point in the distant future I may update this with illustrations of canon v. what we reasonably should be seeing, but right now is not that time.
1: Whoever Obsidian picked up for Tyranny clearly stayed on (Tyranny’s clothing was uniformly pretty great, even if it had the same bra problem), and they’re the only person with half a clue, which is why the Huana look as good as they do. Pillars gets half a point for Aedyr, Iximtl, and hilariously enough Engwith, for having reasonable starting points, and Deadfire should get another half point for Rautai, but that picture of Maia exists and it is such an affront they lost it again.
2: Ixmitl and the various groups of the White that Wends can have pants, the first because they’re canonically horse people, and that’s what pants are for. The White doesn’t actually get pants, per se, they’re fairly clearly inspired variously by the Inuit and the Vikings, so they have separate undergarments we would call pants in order to help keep warm, but it counts for this. Nobody else gets pants.
3: Just for the record, this is also where Raedceras should be, fashion-wise, but we have huge amounts of nothing when it comes to non-priest everyday wear so I can’t really talk about. My logic still stands, plus they’re even less likely to know about flat patterning, but, y’know.
#pillars of eternity#pillars of eternity meta#this is a mess I'm sorry#there will be a sister post covering the fiddly technical bits if you're confused#but I don't want to derail this more than it already is.#please drop me a line if you need a technical definition I have no sense of what people do or do not casually know on the topic#look I wrote my not-dissertation on tracing trade through fashion in art this is one of the few times I actually 100% know what I'm about#obsidian started out with the completely stupid assumption that everybody's wearing a bra and it just went downhill from there#nobody is wearing a bra#nobody is wearing pants#NOBODY IS WEARING BORING SHIT BROWN EITHER#I did not build all those fucking restoration shirts by hand for nothing#look my art history advisor had her focus in South American and Polynesian art and I loved her so much I took all her classes#so I've got two years of that plus a couple of months on Maori art from her Nonwestern overview#which is exactly enough to say 'that looks reasonable' but if I wanted to get into it I'd need to make so many phone calls#and probably write an actual thing because I would rather die than admit to this nonsense to my academic circle okay#if somebody with a better background/contacts wants to come talk about it please come hang out with me#look the cover of the game features Maia wearing a dress that wraps one way above the belt and the other way under it#and that's illegal#please mentally erase eder's pants and replace them with either a long shirt or a kilt if you like#he is not wearing pants#you can make a kilt argument#but not pants#I guess everybody in the living lands goes naked because I have absolutely no idea what they're wearing over there#or where over there is for that matter#obsidian show me your atlas please and thanks
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haikyuu-boys-headcanons · 10 months ago
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𝙷𝙰𝙸𝙺𝚈𝚄𝚄 𝙱𝙾𝚈𝚂 - 𝙴𝙼𝙱𝙰𝚁𝙰𝚂𝚂𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝚂𝙴𝚇 𝙼𝙾𝙼𝙴𝙽𝚃𝚂
hehe, i’m back at it again with one of these long ass posts but this idea’s literally been in my head all day long so here you go !! obvious nsfw warning :)
tw: this whole post is just nsfw and embarrassing to read so read at your own risk >:)
𝙳𝙰𝙸𝙲𝙷𝙸 » during a super intense and loud session, his voice cracked as he asked you “does that feel goOD- good baby?” to this day, he still prays that you couldn’t hear him over the sound of your own moans
𝚂𝚄𝙶𝙰𝚆𝙰𝚁𝙰 » you were riding him and he went to slap your ass, but something went wrong either because you were riding too quickly or he was shaking too much, boy ended up slapping himself in the balls. you’ve never heard that boy scream that loud in your life
𝙰𝚂𝙰𝙷𝙸 » literally pulled out in the middle of sex to get up and rush to the corner of his room to flip around his childhood teddy bears. your just laying there with your tiddies and coochie out waiting for asahi to shield the eyes of mr. wiggles
𝚃𝙰𝙽𝙰𝙺𝙰 » you two were having pretty intense shower sex until tanaka did the number one thing your not supposed to do during shower sex; this muthafucker slipped while holding you. long story short, y’all were okay but just ended up having nasty shower floor sex??
𝙽𝙸𝚂𝙷𝙸𝙽𝙾𝚈𝙰 » this tiny ass 5′2 man was unconsciously humping your leg while you were both asleep?? his presumably pleasurable wet dream had turned into a sudden nightmare when you literally had to KICK him off you to stop the humping. bad nishinoya, bad!
𝙺𝙰𝙶𝙴𝚈𝙰𝙼𝙰 » came WAYYY too early inside you, but he was too embarrassed to say anything so he just... kept going. sadly, no one had warned kageyama of the intense effects of overstimulation. he was shaking and whimpering so badly behind you to the point where you had to ask him to pull out and bring him a glass of water to calm down
𝙷𝙸𝙽𝙰𝚃𝙰 » the first time you squirted on him, he just blatantly asked you these exact few words that left you feeling mortified: “did you just piss on me?” nuh uh hinata, this water fountain ain’t yours to drown in anymore >:( 
𝚃𝚂𝚄𝙺𝙸𝚂𝙷𝙸𝙼𝙰 » kei was hitting it from the back pretty hard this time, so hard that you were suddenly... on an angle? suddenly, now you two were much closer to the floor than before. the bed ended up collapsing, yes literally collapsing due to kei’s powerful thrusts. worst part is, nobody got to finish since kei dragged you to ikea to grumpily buy a new bedframe. but hey, he bought you ikea meatballs; that shit hits so different
𝚈𝙰𝙼𝙰𝙶𝚄𝙲𝙷𝙸 » one super duper intense night, he passed out the SECOND he came. no matter how much you flicked the temple of his forehead, yamaguchi was dead asleep. you had to literally slap him awake to get him to clean up, you ain’t risking a ranky stanky UTI puthy in the morning
𝙾𝙸𝙺𝙰𝚆𝙰 » kept calling himself a sex machine during the act. i don’t know if it was due to the 6 tequila shots he had beforehand or just his inner ego revealing, whatever it was it was about to make your pussy close
𝙸𝚆𝙰𝚉𝚄𝙼𝙸 » this one time, he kept going in at a weird angle which caused you to repeatedly queef for 7 minutes straight. every time you told him to pull out and go in properly, he laughed and kept going in at that one weird angle!! was your embarrassment a turn on for him?? maybe!! but were you mortified? absolutely!!
𝙼𝙰𝚃𝚃𝚂𝚄𝙽 » i’m sorry to have to be the one to announce this, but this man had the worst case of full blown bush you’ve ever seen. like, he didn’t even try to manscape or anything at all. you ended up begging him to trim just a tiny bit because you weren’t gonna risk choking on a pube whilst your going down on him
𝙷𝙰𝙽𝙰𝙼𝙰𝙺𝙸 » rubbed your left labia thinking it was your clit. and he kept doing that. the whole. fucking. time. even when you subtly moved his fingers towards your clit, he just kept going back to the left lip.
𝙺𝚄𝙽𝙸𝙼𝙸 » had the most dry and dull dirty talk you’ve ever heard. like, it’s not even dirty talk at this point; it’s just clean talk. there’s no passion when he talks! he uses the same tone he would use for anyone else at any other moment. to paint the picture, imagine riding kunimi and he’s just there with a furrowed expression like “yup, that feels really good”
𝙺𝚈𝙾𝚃𝙰𝙽𝙸 » tried to pull one of those unexpected anal scenes that he saw from a porno, without telling you beforehand. life lesson here; if you party at shit's house, don't be surprised if shit's at the party
𝙺𝚄𝚁𝙾𝙾 » you two were looking to get a little more kinky in terms of BDSM, so kuroo watched like 30 tutorials on youtube on how to safely tie you up so you won’t fall or anything. this bitch ended up tying rope knots that were practically impossible to undo, which resulted in you hanging from the ceiling for approximately 2 hours pussy-ass naked while kuroo tried to cut you down with a kitchen knife
𝙺𝙴𝙽𝙼𝙰 » wanted to spice things up with some dirty talk, like the real nasty talk they use in pornos but not the normal pornos; the shitty company ones with horrific acting. he really ended up announcing that he was going to “fuck your fucking fanny off, you twat”
𝙻𝙴𝚅 » got super excited while he was opening the lube since he hadn’t gotten to fuck you in a WHILE, which resulted the lube leaked everywhere and a giant 6′5 man slipping and hitting his head on the bed frame. worst part is; he had to go to the ER with a hard on that refused to go away
𝙱𝙾𝙺𝚄𝚃𝙾 » speaking of boners that wouldn’t go away, let’s not forget that one time bokuto took two viagras when you texted him to come over for a special occasion. he horribly misinterpreted the ‘special occasion’ text, because he showed up to your house with a huge buldge in his pants as your parents stand before him holding anniversary cards, completely horrified
𝙰𝙺𝙰𝙰𝚂𝙷𝙸 » wanted to make valentines day sex as romantic as he could, so he did the classic lighting candles and giving roses. everything was beautiful, until he accidently knocked one of the bigger candles over during missionary. this not only caused a huge ass fire in your bedroom, but he came right as the fire began to spread. boy was debating on whether his orgasm was to die for or not
𝙺𝙾𝙽𝙾𝙷𝙰 » had a nose bleed when he was going down on you and you both were immediately horrified, you thinking it was your period and him thinking he just ate coochie blood. yet as you went to go clean up, you realized his face had much more blood on it than your coochie did. to this day, he still blames it on your period 
𝚄𝚂𝙷𝙸𝙹𝙸𝙼𝙰 » threw you onto the bed and your head went through the wall. he didn’t even bother to ask you if you were okay, he just sighed and went “well, now i have to make a call to the construction guy. excuse me” and he left you and your concussed ass head sit there once again, pussy ass naked
𝚃𝙴𝙽𝙳𝙾𝚄 » during a blowjob, he held your head down right as he was coming causing the cum to shoot up your throat and somehow pour out of your nose. by the time he pulled out, he could barely breath from laughing at you. sure, the classic ‘milk shooting out of nose’ thing was funny at first until you got a sinus infection and had to breath out of your mouth for the next three days
𝚂𝙴𝙼𝙸 » always insists having sex in the most inconvenient places?? like he would pull you to side while grocery shopping and start grinding up against you as you pick which brand of cheese would be better??
𝙶𝙾𝚂𝙷𝙸𝙺𝙸 » he kept getting frustrated that his bangs were clouding his field of vision, so he irritably grabbed a hair tie and frantically tied up the sides of his bangs while he was fucking you. you immediately burst out laughing since he looked exactly like boo from monsters inc. 
𝚃𝙴𝚁𝚄𝚂𝙷𝙸𝙼𝙰 » got so drunk that he ended up fucking the couch. like he was just there on top of you, and his dick was just sliding between the folds of the leather couch. you decided to let him finish like that
𝚂𝙰𝙺𝚄𝚂𝙰 » had a really bad reaction to one of the products he used while shaving and ended up getting super irritated down there so he kept having to pull out in-between thrusts to itch his crotch. to make things worse, you joking suggested that he looked like he had syphilis and he got so disgusted at the idea of that thought that he literally had to pull out and take a breather 
𝙾𝚂𝙰𝙼𝚄 » drizzled ‘warm’ chocolate down your chest and was about to seductively lick it off until you screamed in pain and horror as the chocolate was literally burning your skin off. osamu panicked, obviously not knowing what to do if chocolate was burning his partners skin off so he just... frantically licked it off. you still had to go to the ER afterwards to get treated for mild burns
𝙰𝚂𝚃𝚄𝙼𝚄 » didn’t know what a hymen was until the first time he tried to have sex with you. no matter how much he tried to shove his schlong in, it really just wasn’t working + “yer puss is broken”
𝚂𝚄𝙽𝙰 » pinched your nipples so fucking hard to the point where you started crying. he thoughts these were tears of pleasure until you literally had to kick him off you. but hey, he gave you ice for your sore nipples and mcdonalds! what more could a girl possibly want :)
uh the end lol
also, this idea was inspired by the first haikyuu headcanon i ever read, “awkward sex moments” by @bbytetsu <3
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kybabi · 11 months ago
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forgetting their s/o’s birthday :(
w/ atsumu, suna, and ushijima!
part 2!
series masterlist here!
(a/n: as always, a ton of characters were requested, so i’ll be making more posts with them :))
thank you all for requesting☺️ i hope this piece isn’t disappointing or anything; feel free to leave feedback!! anyway, this is written in the timeskip, so just keep that in mind while reading💞love you all!)
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atsumu
you were so proud of your boyfriend :’)
he was doing so well in his career and he seemed to be having so much fun
you really were happy for him
but his career meant that he wouldn’t see you all that often and was often preoccupied
some days went by and all you wanted to do was stay in bed with him and cuddle, but he couldn’t
you just miss him a lot
but with your birthday coming up, you’re excited
not for your birthday in particular, but because you’ll get to spend some quality time with atsumu💞
when you wake up, the sun is shining and you feel well-rested and content.
you sigh happily and reach over to the other side of the bed, only to find it cold and out of use. you sit up to investigate and discover that atsumu is gone.
you sigh again, this time a little disappointed. he must’ve gone to work, you think. you get up.
while you’re making breakfast for yourself, you check your phone. you have a couple messages from some of your friends and family, to which you respond to, but none from your boyfriend. even as you refresh your inbox, nothing comes up.
he’s probably busy, you remind yourself. you finish cooking and sit down to eat, alone.
today seems like a good day to just relax and let yourself breathe for a moment. you lounge around on the couch and watch some movies and take a nice, warm bubble bath. you waste the day away as you wait around for atsumu to come home, hoping maybe the two of you can go out for dinner tonight!
when he finally comes home, he lets out a tired groan and sits down on the couch after kissing you quickly on the cheek.
“i’m starving, babe. what’s for dinner?” he asks you, eyes closed.
you stand in front of him. “well, i actually didn’t make dinner tonight,” you respond. he opens his eyes and furrows his brows at you.
“...i thought i told you that i needed you to make dinner tonight,” he notes. “i texted you earlier.”
confused at his apparent annoyance, you try again. “well, i was hoping we could go out tonight. it’s been a long time since we ever—”
“y/n, i’m tired, okay? i had a long day and you’re not helping at all. i mean, you don’t make dinner, and now you’re asking me for more when it’s clear that i don’t have the energy,” he argues, irritated. you step back.
did he...? you ask yourself. there’s no way...
but now he’s just ignoring you, and it finally sinks in. he forgot.
you sigh sadly and retreat into your bedroom, hoping to just call it a night. you don’t want to spend your birthday arguing with your boyfriend.
atsumu gets up and walks into the kitchen, looking for a quick dinner. he opens the pantry to see new products that you must have gotten from the store. he looks over them, eye catching on a box of chocolate pocky.
the snack reminds him of a happy memory he shared with you just last year. it was your birthday, and he took you on a picnic and you shared the box, fighting over who got the last one, and instead just breaking it in half and having to share it.
atsumu thinks back to that day fondly, grinning softly at the memory. maybe this year we can do it again, he jokes to himself. and then he pauses.
...
.....
.........
...fuck.
he pulls out his phone frantically and swipes open the calendar, flipping to the correct month and staring at it obsessively.
and there it is; the reminder he set for your birthday, adorned with emojis and bolded brightly. his heart stops.
his eyes grow wide and he puts his phone down, panic slowly rising in his gut and making it hard to breathe.
“how could i have...” he whispers to himself.
then atsumu remembers how you asked him to go out with you to dinner and all he did was berate you for not being good enough. the way you seemed dejected as you took his words and left, leaving him alone in his head. he’s supposed to be your boyfriend, and he couldn’t even remember your birthday. he’s just been neglecting you.
desperate to make things right, he bursts into the bedroom to see you getting into bed. at his presence, your shoulders droop, and you sigh.
“‘tsumu, i don’t wanna fight, okay?” you ask, exhausted. his heart sinks even further. that’s what you think he wants to do?
he approaches you guiltily, and you look up at him, confused. he stares at you for a second before pulling you up by your hands and wrapping his arms around you ever so tightly.
you exhale, his touch so comforting that you just want to melt. it’s been so long since he held you.
“i’m so sorry,” he mutters, voice shaky with honesty. “i’m sorry that i missed your birthday and i’m sorry that i haven’t been a boyfriend and that you’ve been alone and i haven’t even realized.”
you freeze, astounded.
your eyes begin to fill up with tears and you dig your face into his chest to hide them away.
“i know i don’t deserve it, but please forgive me? i just wanna make it up to you, ‘kay?” he pleads, desperate.
in response, you nod into his chest. to be honest, you don’t really care all that much about your birthday, but now you that you’re in atsumu’s arms, you really can’t think about anything at all.
but he’s here now, and that’s the best gift you could have asked for.
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suna
you and suna had always had an interesting dynamic
he was often distant and seemed unfeeling, while sometimes you grew needy and clingy
you complimented each other
but lately the differences between you led to distance, and all you wanted was for your boyfriend to spend some time with you
because even with those differences, you loved him more than anything
your birthday was approaching, and you were relieved that you finally had a day just for you and him
you yawn, rubbing your eyes gently, and breathe in the soft morning air. today is your birthday!
you don’t see suna next to you, so you venture out into the living room. he’s not in there either. you check the kitchen and come up empty.
he must have left, you say to yourself, sighing. honestly, you had hoped for a whole day just for the two of you, but you supposed you’ll have to take just a few hours.
you check your phone to see if he’s left anything, but you see nothing. it’s not like you had expected anything, but it still stings just a bit.
so you spend the day having a little time to yourself, treating yourself to some snacks and doing some shopping. when you come home it’s early in the evening, so you start preparing dinner.
you wait for him to come home so that the two of you can have dinner together, lounging on the couch as you wait.
7:00 rolls around and you continue to wait. he doesn’t come home.
8:00 is here, and he’s still not home. the food is getting cold.
when 9:00 approaches and he’s still not home, you wonder where he is, irritation and disappointment filling your gut. you send him a message, to which he doesn’t respond.
it’s almost midnight when he comes home, and you get up, arms crossed in front of you, frustration coloring your features.
“where have you been? i’ve been waiting for you all day,” you ask. he just looks at you tiredly, as if he’s the one who should be disappointed, and sighs.
“it’s been a long day, okay?” he murmurs, and you scoff.
“you could’ve responded to my texts, at least.”
“i didn’t have time, okay? can you not be mad at me for two seconds, please?”
you stare at him, baffled. how does he have the audacity to—
“besides, not everything is about you, y/n. you have no idea the day that i had, so stop making today about you, okay?”
at that, your heart sinks, and realization hits you like a truck.
he... he didn’t even remember.
even while the two of you have had disconnects at some points in your relationship, he’s always taken the time to remember these dates and celebrate them with you. but now he doesn’t even remember.
anger starts to creep in, and you can feel it in your blood.
“fuck you, rin,” you mutter, and exit, slamming the door to your bedroom behind you. you press your back against the door and huff angrily.
at first, you just want to yell. but the more you stand there, the more you just want to lie down and cry. because the thought that your own boyfriend doesn’t even care about you enough to remember your birthday hurts far more.
outside the door, suna stares at the space where you left, confused. he doesn’t understand why you’re so upset with him.
he takes out his phone, hoping to text you and ask you to come back out so he can talk to you. he clicks on your contact and scrolls through it, looking for the message button. it shows your phone number, your emails, your birthday, your address...
suna pauses.
he scrolls back up.
your birthday.
oh no, he thinks, beginning to panic. oh god, what did i do?
and sure enough, the date is resting there on his phone, and his panic is confirmed.
today is your birthday. and he completely forgot.
and on top of that, he called you selfish for wanting the day for the two of you. he sees that you’ve left a plate of food out on the table for him and one for you too, and his chest aches painfully. you waited for him. and he didn’t show up.
when he gently pushes the door open, his heart breaks even further.
you’re lying on your side, arms wrapped around your pillow, crying softly. you hadn’t been this way when he saw you last, and the idea that he made you feel like this hurts terribly.
“...baby?” he calls softly. you gasp, startled by his sudden appearance, and attempt to stifle your sobs. it’s too late though; he’s already heard you. he comes over to your side of the bed, getting on his knees so that he’s eye level with you. you shut your eyes to avoid his gaze, and he sighs.
“please look at me?” he pleads, and you open your eyes reluctantly. they’re puffy and teary, and suna feels even more guilty than before.
“i haven’t been taking care of you and our relationship very well,” he starts. “i got so caught up in everything and i just got so distant and—” he exhales. “i completely forgot about today. and i’m so, so sorry, y/n. you have every right to be upset, and i’m so disappointed in myself for neglecting you.”
he cups your cheek gently, wiping away the tears there and kissing you sweetly.
“please let me make it up to you. okay?” he asks against your lips. he feels them curve up slightly, and sighs in relief.
“okay,” you whisper.
suna climbs up onto the bed and pulls you into him. you snuggle into his chest and he kisses your hair.
“goodnight, baby.”
“goodnight.”
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ushijima
your boyfriend has always loved volleyball more than anything
and you’ve always loved this about him
but it’s often leads to lonely days and meals eaten alone
you know it’s part of the compromise he must make, but you still miss him
however, with your birthday coming up, you think maybe now’s your chance to spend some time with him💓
today is your birthday, and you’re looking forward to what the day has in store for you!
toshi had left before you’d gotten up as per usual, but instead of waiting for him to come home, you decide you’ll visit him at practice today. you figure he’ll want to see you; it is a special day after all!
so you get up and walk into the kitchen, beginning the preparation of his lunch. you put together some rice and meat in a segment of the bento, adding an omelet to another and some salad in the other compartment. you pack some dressing in a tiny container and some miso soup in an insulated jar, packing everything up neatly. you look at it proudly.
you make your way over to the gym, excited to see your boyfriend. when you get there, the boys are in a practice match, so you sit on the bleachers to watch.
when ushijima finally spots you during his break, his eyebrows furrow, and he walks over to you.
“hi, toshi!”
“y/n, why are you here?”
you pause at his bluntness. he doesn’t seem very happy to see you.
“oh. uh, i made you lunch! i figured you might be hungry,” you reply, getting a little nervous. does he not want me here?
“y/n, you shouldn’t be here right now. it’s unprofessional.”
your heart sinks.
“but i just thought, since today is—”
“you really should just go home, y/n. i will see you later,” he mutters, his dismissal obvious. you look behind him to see a few of his teammates eyeing you pitifully. and now it’s clear to you:
he doesn’t even know it’s your birthday.
you sigh, hurt. you pick up the lunch you made him and leave silently, humiliation and disappointment swirling in your stomach, making you nauseous.
when you get home, you just put the bento in the fridge and walk into your bedroom. it doesn’t seem worth it to do anything else today. so you lay down, drifting into sleep by the comfort of your own arms, missing his.
hoshiumi stares at wakatoshi as you leave. toshi senses his eyes on him and looks back at him, confused.
“why’d you send y/n away?” kourai asks, curious.
“oh. i figured i’d see them later. besides, we have practice,” toshi answers.
“but,” hoshiumi continues. “don’t you wanna spend some time with them today?”
toshi looks down at him, brows furrowed in a question.
“i mean, it’s their birthday today, right?” he clarifies.
ushijima stares at his teammate.
“it is?” he asks, voice uncharacteristically cautious and quiet, almost shy.
hoshiumi’s eyes widen.
“tell me you didn’t...”
“i didn’t know. i must have forgotten,” toshi mumbles, eyes glued to the floor shamefully.
he didn’t mean to forget, really. but the thought completely slipped his mind somewhere and now...
you’re gone, because he sent you away, and you’d just wanted some time with your boyfriend. you brought him food and company and he turned you away.
there’s an unfamiliar sting in his chest as he recalls the way he’s been treating you; the way he never sees you and how you’ve been spending so many hours alone in your shared apartment. and now you’re alone on your birthday because he forgot.
wakatoshi doesn’t know exactly how, but he knows he needs to make it up to you.
when you wake up, an delicious aroma fills your senses, and you get up to investigate.
as you walk into the kitchen, your heart swells.
your boyfriend is at the stove, making a meal for the two of you. for the first time in a long time, he’s home for dinner. what he’s making smells amazing and your eyes fill up with tears at the sight of him here.
he finally notices you’re awake and walks over to you. he wraps you up in a hug, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead.
“i’m sorry, baby,” he mumbles against your hair. “i’m sorry for forgetting about your birthday. and for constantly leaving you alone. i want to make you feel better, okay?” he asks, pulling you off him gently to look into your eyes. his own widen in alarm at seeing you tear up. “did i do something wrong?” he mutters, self-consciousness leaking into his tone. you laugh, the sound shaky.
“no, baby,” you reassure him. “i’m just happy you’re here, that’s all.”
he sighs, relieved, and kisses you gently.
“me too.”
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nolawritesfanfics · 5 months ago
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How the Genshin boys would confess to you
Warnings: mentions of alcohol, mentions of fighting/blood, mentions of death, OOC characters
Disclaimer: I haven’t thoroughly edited these, so please let me know if there are any mistakes! Some of these are longer than others, it kinda depends on if I know how to write the character or not. [>v<]💖💖💖 (also, sorry for not posting in a while, I haven’t had many ideas for what to write (TwT))
Pairings: Childe x Gn!reader, Kaeya x Gn!reader, Diluc x Gn!reader, Zhongli x Gn!reader, Xiao x Gn!reader, Albedo x Gn!reader
Genre: Fluff, angst(?), friends to lovers
ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡
♡❄️Kaeya❄️♡
••Drunken Confession••
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He would be drunk when he confesses to you. After a long day working for the knights, he would head over to Angel’s Share to indulge in two of his favorite things.
Death After Noon, and you.
Much like alcohol, you calm Kaeya’s nerves and make him forget everything. His past, his duties, his relationship with his brother. But he never manages to forget the one thing that bothers him the most.
His feelings for you.
Kaeya opened the door of the tavern, a gust of warm, alcohol scented air hitting his face as he stepped inside. He scanned the room, trying to map out which people he was going to attempt to get information out of this time.
There was a group of older adventurers to his left. Not the best choice, since they only end up talking about their families, which never failed to leave him feeling bitter.
A few knights were scattered throughout the room, but they weren’t good sources either. Kaeya already saw them everyday, which made it far too easy to catch up on whatever they were gossiping about.
Finally, he found you. You managed to outshine everyone else in the tavern, and no matter who else approached him, he would always choose you. He knew this, but he couldn’t tell you. He couldn’t get you involved with him.
He couldn’t cause you pain.
But his emotions failed him, and the butterflies raging in his stomach when you noticed him from across the room only proved how hopelessly in love he was with you. A smile broke onto his face when you waved him over, and he had to clench his fists to keep from rushing over to you. He had a reputation to uphold, after all.
He didn’t know that you would be here tonight, not that he was upset about it. He just needed to get to you without seeming like a puppy following its owner. So, he took a deep breath, and sauntered over to the counter you were sitting at.
“Ah, (Y/n), a pleasure to see you!” Kaeya said. You smiled in response and patted the seat next to you. Kaeya looked down at the counter, trying to hide the blush tinting his cheeks as he sat down beside you.
“Hello Captain Kaeya! Taking a break I assume?” You mused, happy to be talking with your best friend once more. Lately, you hadn’t been given the chance to talk to Cavalry Captain lately, since both of you were incredibly busy with work. However, you never missed the chance to catch up with him whenever you could.
“Just a quick one, danger stops for no one, you know.” He joked.
The mere thought of him made you excited. Every word he spoke made your ears start to burn, and everything he did made you want to be closer to him. But you had no idea he felt the same way.
The night progressed, and after a few drinks Charles cut you off at your request. You had things to do tomorrow and couldn’t afford to have a hangover. Kaeya was still going though, even after a few warnings of being cut off as well.
You looked over to your friends, who was absolutely wasted. He was laughing at a joke that one of the other knights made, his chuckle resonating in your chest. Archons, his voice was amazing.
Even though you could’ve stayed here forever, listening to the Cavalry Captains soothing voice, dawn would come soon, and you were getting sleepy. So, you grabbed Kaeya’s sleeve and suggested taking him home. He groaned and protested, but couldn’t deny how exhausted he was. He also couldn’t deny you, even if he wanted to.
So, you bid Charles goodbye, and dragged your friend home. Kaeya leaned on you, giggling every couple minutes. You smiled at his childish actions and tugged him closer to you. Your footsteps echoed throughout the streets of Mondstadt, a cold breeze tainting your flushed cheeks.
When you arrived at Kaeya’s dimly lit doorstep, it was already early in the morning. Both of you had sobered up a bit, your sense of time coming back to haunt you. Kaeya turned to you, and held your gaze. You stared back at him, losing yourself in his ocean colored irises. A few seconds passed before he blurted out something you’d never expect to hear from him.
“(Y/n), I’m in love with you.” He whispered, slapping his hands over his hands over his mouth once he had realized the impact of what he had said. A glimmer of innocent worry sparkled in Kaeya’s eyes. You moved his hands away from his mouth and held them to your lips.
“Oh, Kaeya….” You whispered, placing a kiss on his knuckles.
“I love you too.”
ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡
♡ ☄️Zhongli☄️♡
••Timeless Confession••
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Zhongli would be very formal about his confession, but he can’t help but be shy when telling you of his feelings.
He would most likely ask you to meet him somewhere. If you were his close friend, he’d invite you to have tea at his house. It’s a casual setting, if things go wrong, no one will see.
But, if you act flustered around him, he may be less nervous. He would probably be able to sense how you feel about him by your actions, which would give him a confidence boost.
It was another warm day at Liyue Harbor. Despite the heat, it was quite busy. People were scattered over the streets, going about their day. You were a part of the crowds, but unlike most of tourists littering the harbor, you were only here for a friend.
You frequently visited Liyue, you even had a little place of you own near the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor. And every morning, when you would leave your apartment to go and explore Teyvat, you would run into Zhongli.
Zhongli was one of the kindest people you had met since you arrived in Liyue. He would always smile at you when you looked at him, and small talk was frequent between you two. As time passed, you became more than just acquaintances.
He would invite you to have tea with him almost every day, and would always welcome you into his home. If you ever showed up at his house in critical condition, he would never fail to nurse you back to health. Soon enough, he was coming with you missions, protecting you from harm.
You wondered why he was so nice to you, but you were grateful for his help. But lately, Zhongli had been acting strange. He had been quieter than usual, and he’d been avoiding you. Every time you would try to talk to him, he would make some excuse like- “A-ah... my apologies (Y/n). It seems I’ve forgotten something for work.”
He could hardly look at you, it seemed. He was always so anxious around you now.
Did you do something wrong?
Was it something you said?
You loved the man, even if you didn’t show it much. You had a strictly platonic relationship after all, and you couldn’t just give that up for your desires of a romantic life with him.
But oh god, the way he used to smile at you. The books he would read to you, whether they were about the fascinating history of Teyvat, or the delusional ramblings of a lovesick poet, you loved them. He would always smile at your reactions, but he no longer smiled at you.
His smile was gone.
You longed to see it again. If you had to grovel to get his friendship back, you would.
Thankfully, you knew your questions would be answered when you found a note from Zhongli, telling you to meet him at his house for tea. When you arrived, the tea was already on his table, whisps of smoke rising from the liquid.
Zhongli beckoned for you to sit down across from him. You sat down and gazed at him expectantly. The archon sighed, fiddling with his sweaty hands.
“I’m guessing by the way you’re looking at me... you wish to know why I’ve been ignoring you, yes?” Zhongli said.
You nodded, concern visible in every move you made. You rested your hand on the table, the cold anxiety of rejection making you feel weak. You felt another hand rest on top of yours, causing your eyes to shoot up to look at the man in front of you.
“I... I’m not sure how to say this, (Y/n), but- I have... feelings for you.”
You took a shaky breath, and intertwined your fingers with his. You could feel the poor man’s form shaking, a blush lighting up his cheeks. Leaning over the table, you inched your face closer to his. Then, you pressed your lips onto his. Zhongli froze in place, not sure what to do.
But you knew- you hoped, that he had an idea of what you were trying to say.
This was your silent confession.
Your silent way of telling him that you would never leave.
ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡
♡🧬Albedo🧬♡
••Chemical Confession••
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The chief alchemist of the knights of favonius isn’t accustomed to emotions. He’s made out of chalk after all, so there not much room for that kind of stuff.
Albedo’s confession would happen during work hours, when you two are alone in the lab. He would try to make you aware of how inexperienced he was with emotions, as a defense mechanism to hide his emotions.
The poor boy can try, but the warmth emanating from his cheeks confirms every one of his words for you.
Another day, another experiment.
Albedo was buried in work, just like usual. Different stacks of paper were scattered all over his lab tables, many of them serving as a net for various overflowing experiments. The lab smelled purely of chemicals, and anyone who entered would be sent into a coughing fit.
Amidst all of the chaos, Albedo didn’t notice a person entering the vicinity. He only noticed when he felt a hand press against his shoulder. He couldn’t tell who was behind him, but he could sense that the touch was familiar. The alchemist whipped his head around to face you, a grin spreading across his delicate lips.
“Don’t worry Albedo, it’s just me.” You said, chuckling at his actions. Your hands were covering your mouth and nose, so that you didn’t inhale too many chemicals. Albedo lead you over to his newest concoctions, listing off random details about them.
You had been helping Albedo perfect an experiment for several months now, always taking time after your daily duties to assist him. Sucrose would have helped him with this, but she had work of her own to complete, so you offered to take her place.
You may or may not have been using this as an opportunity to get closer to the infamous alchemist, but you hoped that he didn’t mind your presence too much.
Little did you know, he didn’t mind at all.
Albedo was happy you decided to join him, because he got to see you more. The only part of your assistance that he hated was how you made him lose his composure. Whenever you smiled, whenever you looked at him- whenever you did anything, he felt like he was falling apart.
But strangely, he didn’t mind that either.
You made his heart feel warm, but he had no idea why. He had never been in a relationship before, and he definitely had never felt anything like this. So, Albedo decided that he would figure out his feelings by using the only tactics he was familiar with.
Research and experiments.
Whenever he had time, Albedo would observe the couples of Mondstadt, trying to figure out what that warm feeling meant. He even went to ask Glory about her feelings for Godwin. She chuckled softly at his questions and spared him no details about what “love” felt like.
Another thing that Albedo picked up from his observations was kissing. It’s something he saw most couples doing, whether it was just a quick peck on the cheek, or a- uh- longer version of that.
The other knights also played a role in explaining different kinds of affection to him, at his request. They also told him that, if he had someone he was interested in, he should tell them before it was too late.
When he had concluded his research, he returned to Dragonspine to put his research to good use. After working up enough courage, he decided that when you showed up to help him today, he would tell you. He had no backup plan if things went wrong, but he was used to taking risks.
Albedo finished talking about the last beaker on the lab table, looking at you nervously. He knew he had to do it now, or else he may never find the strength within himself to try again.
Clearing his throat, Albedo turned to you.
“(Y/n), I have... a confession to make.”
You stared at him, brows furrowing in concern. Your friend was not the nervous type, so what was making him so wary? Was something wrong?
Despite your worries, you shook your head for him to continue.
“It’s come to my attention that I’ve been having some feelings... and I’m not sure how to describe them.” He sighed, face heating up from embarrassment. “I like you. I think- I- I’m not sure how any of this works but I thought it was better to tell you than to- mmph!”
A squeal left Albedo’s throat as soft lips pressed against his own, cutting him off. Your eyes were closed, fists balled at your sides in hopes that this was the right thing to do. Adrenaline was coursing through your veins, making your hand shake.
You pulled away as you opened your eyes. In front of you was a red-faced, wide eyed Albedo, who was frozen in place by your touch. He blinked a few times before roughly grabbing your cheeks and pulling your face to his.
Love was a chemical Albedo didn’t understand, and probably never would.
But if it meant he could have you, he didn’t mind at all.
ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡
♡🌊Childe🌊♡
••Risky Confession••
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Childe is a fighter. If you’re a friend of his, there’s no doubt that he would ask to spar with you. If you’re strong enough to fight him, it’s a given that he’d ask you to fight.
As a fighter, Childe is attracted to strength and challenges. Which means you were a perfect fit for him. Even if you didn’t like fighting, your determination never fails to impress him. So, his confession would happen during a fight, or after a fight.
The fight would be even more tense than usual, both parties nervous and scared to hurt their opponent, but both parties wanting to win as well. It’s a kind of tension that is noticeable but not mentioned.
This makes the fight escalate and become ever rougher than usual. In the end, the battle becomes forgotten after Childe surrenders his heart to you.
The Eleventh Fatui Harbinger is an uncontrollable mess. He yearns for the thrill of battle, every loss and victory adding to to his already brimming ego. But, anyone who’s fought him most likely doesn’t know what he’s like off the battlefield. In fact, most people who encounter him don’t live to see who he really is.
But you survived his attacks, and you know who he is.
Over the course of your friendship with Childe, you’ve learned that he is a kind, family oriented person. He genuinely cares about people, and his attitude towards you and his siblings had proven that.
But, if you were a mere bystander, you wouldn’t have assumed that about him at all.
At least not right now.
The radioactive sounds of elements against elements and the clanging of metal against metal echoed throughout the field. You flung your weapon towards the harbinger, releasing a blast of elemental energy.
The force of your attacks sent you flying backwards, putting you at a disadvantage. Childe took this as an opportunity to charge towards you, readying his bow.
Today was another casual sparring session. It had become a tradition for you two to fight each other, to improve both your skills and your senses. Childe was the one who proposed this idea, saying that he didn’t want to miss the chance to fight a worthy opponent.
But deep down, Childe knew that he was training with you because he didn’t want to you to get hurt when he wasn’t around. He worried about you and your involvement with him. He worried that his business with the Fatui would seep into your life, corrupting the only light he had.
That light was none other than yourself.
You were a sudden addition to his life, illuminating his bloodstained world better than any flame. As soon as he introduced himself to you, romantic feelings blossomed in his chest almost instantly.
Luckily, you felt the same way. Before you met Childe, your life was nothing short of dull. All you ever did was do work for the adventurers guild, eat, sleep, and live out the next day the exact same way.
But then, you met Childe.
His carefree personality charmed you, and his ability to fight made you want to improve your own skills. You loved him, and wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of your days with him. No matter how hard you tried to hide your feelings, your warm cheeks and nervous actions gave you away whenever he was mentioned.
To make things worse, both of you knew that you loved each other, but were too shy to say anything about it. The tension between you built up with every meeting, making each one of your battles even more dangerous than the last. Fear was the only thing keeping you from confessing to him.
Childe aimed his bow at you, while you leaped up and prepared another attack. You couldn’t hold him off for long, since you were running out of mental strength as well as physical strength.
How long had it been since your fight started? Time seemed nonexistent at this point, and you knew you would collapse within seconds.
So, you let your guard down. You surrendered, and opted to block his attacks instead of fighting back. But, instead of being hit by a barrage of arrows, all you heard were heavy pants leaving your friend’s mouth.
“I... I can’t do this anymore, (Y/n).” Childe wheezed out. Your body shook from exhaustion as you hummed in confusion. You rested your hands on your knees, leaning on them for support.
“I can’t fight you anymore. And that’s- haah... because I- I’m in love with you.”
Your eyes widened at his words.
He- he loved you?
Was this a dream?
Gasping for air, you stumbled over to him, knocking him to the ground. Your arms were either side of him as you leaned over his body, your face inches away from his. His words hung in the air, the atmosphere thick with tension.
Your cheeks flushed as you pecked his lips. You rested your head on the crook of his neck, the feeling of his body against yours comforting you. Grasping one of Childe’s hands, you tried to control your body.
Adrenaline had taken over your mind, forcing you to think at a million miles per hour, even if you could still think straight. Taking a deep breath, you finally muttered the words he longed for you to say.
“Ah, thank the archons... I feel the same way.”
ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡
♡🔥Diluc🔥♡
••Quiet Confession••
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Given the amount of work Diluc has, his confession would take place during one of his shifts.
Being his friend, you would be worried about his stress levels, and would help him with work to try and lower them. Through this, Diluc would start to fall for you.
He keeps his feelings to himself until he can’t stand doing so any longer, even with the possible consequences of your rejection.
Business was booming at the Tavern. You spotted various familiar faces as you scanned the crowd, trying to count the amount of customers to report to Diluc. The moon was high in the sky, and the air was polluted with voices.
Tonight, you were helping Diluc out at the Tavern. You noticed how stressed Diluc looked, and offered to help him regularly, free of charge. He was hesitant to accept your help, insisting that he must provide some kind of payback for you.
But, after you ignored his protests and helped on your own accord, he saw that it was useless to fight back. No matter how many times he questioned your motives, you always said that you were just happy to help.
And that was the truth.
It was so obvious how little sleep he got, the dark circles under his eyes being proof. His office was loaded with paperwork, and the Winery was always full of panicking servants, including Diluc. You couldn’t bear to watch your friend file himself down like this, so you offered to assist him.
Your job for tonight was to help clean and serve tables. Diluc was behind the bar, washing glasses to give to Charles. He looked calm, collected, and alert. But you knew that was just a mask.
Part of why Diluc kept you around was because you could see right through him. It was a nice change for him. The feeling of telling the truth was amazing. He loved the truth your presence brought.
But really, he loved you.
Ever since he met you, he felt happier. Even the workers at Dawn Winery had noticed the change in his behavior. The small smile that would linger on his face after a conversation with you, his ability to get things done even faster than usual, and the spring in his step whenever you showed up made his feelings far too obvious.
But somehow, you never noticed. Even when he glared at whoever flirted with you from across the Tavern, you never managed to take the hint. It was no secret that you felt the same, but you thought that it was impossible for Diluc to love someone like you. He was the untouchable Darknight Hero, and you were merely an adventurer.
So, you never confessed to him, letting his and your feelings build up. Your words never failed to catch in your throat whenever you tried to confess, making everything ten times harder for you.You couldn’t go on like this, and neither could he.
So tonight, Diluc decided that he would put an end to this. His eyes followed you, watching your figure approach the bar. Your demeanor was as sharp and strong as ever, but your eyes were glazed with exhaustion. It was a busy night, and you had been working for hours.
Diluc knew that you had limits, which made him second guess whether or not he should tell you tonight. But as he gazed at you, he knew that it had to be tonight. He was sure that you were the one he had to be with, and he couldn’t lose the chance to tell you that.
Your arms were wrapped around an empty tray, one that was once littered with glasses brimming with alcohol. Diluc held his hand out and took the tray from you. But for a split second longer than usual, he let his hand linger on yours.
Heat exploded on both of your faces as you withdrew your hand. Diluc averted his eyes, and took a shaky breath.
“I… we- we need to talk.” Diluc muttered. You nodded, looking into his flaming red eyes. The fiery plumes of truth were holding the two of you in their grip, forcing you two together. You surrendered yourself to those flames, knowing that his mask had come undone.
Your dreams were all coming true.
The time had come.
Diluc led you to the Tavern’s storage room. It was dimly lit, quiet, and the perfect place to confess on a work night. Of course, Diluc hadn’t imagined his confession to be like this, but it was the best he could do on short notice.
You stood across from him, nervously glancing off to the side. Diluc stepped forward and took your hands, leading your eyes up to meet his own.
“(Y/n), I love you. I always have.” Diluc bit his lip, gently running his hands over your knuckles. “I understand if you don’t return my feelings, but I just… I needed to tell you.”
You stepped away from him, watching as his face contorted into one of fear. But, he let out a sigh of relief as your wrapped your arms around his waist. Diluc returned your embrace, burying his face into your neck. A few airy chuckles escaped his lips as the reality of situation hit him.
The truth was finally out.
You both breathed into each other's skin, reveling in the feeling of your new relationship. The emotions burning in your stomach were addictive, luring you in like a moth to a flame.
You wished you could stay like this forever, alone with the man you loved
And archons know that he would fight to the ends of Teyvat to create that future for the two of you.
ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡
♡🍃Xiao🍃♡
••Karmic confession••
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I’m gonna be honest, Xiao would probably need to be put on the spot for him to confess.
He makes it so obvious that he loves you, but needs to be convinced to officially tell you how he feels.
When he finally decides to confess, Verr Goldet would help calm his nerves. He may be in love with you, but he’s also really shy about romance
There, he would confess, laying his heart at your feet.
The Wangshu Inn was quiet. Even the lightest footsteps of a mouse would wake up every resident within the Inn. No one was at the front desk, a sticky note with an explanation in place of a human.
Every room was illuminated by the light of the moon. The bright, full moon was high in the sky, a reminder of how peace wouldn’t last forever. A reminder that one day, everything would be gone.
Despite how late at night it was, two figures sat beside each other on the roof.
Leaves were scattered over the roof’s shackles. A pair of amber eyes glowed in the darkness, strands of turquoise hair flowing in the gentle breeze. The person beside him was staring back into his eyes, their gaze just as soft as his own. The atmosphere was welcoming and safe.
This was something Xiao hadn’t felt in a very, very, long time.
The Adeptus had been alone for decades, shouldering the burdens of immortality all alone. He’s watched countless innocent people die, along with hundreds of gods. The memories of their corpses haunt every second of Xiao’s existence.
Just thinking about it made him want to scream.
But over time, he found solace in the repetition of death. It was painful, but it was his only defense mechanism. It was easier to lie to himself, saying that he was fine with loss. He thought that everything would continue on like this. He thought that he would have to watch everyone die, alone.
But that was before he met you.
Your first encounter with Xiao was when you first moved in. You were talking to Verr Goldet about your daily life, and why you were staying at the Inn. You were so caught up in conversation that you hadn’t noticed the Adeptus staring at you menacingly.
He was wary of your arrival, not knowing if you were a threat or not. For all he knew, you could’ve been there to destroy him. He never actually talked to you until you proved yourself to be safe. But, he was always watching you from the shadows.
Once he finally interacted with you, he found that you were a pleasant person to be around.
He started seeking you out more often, helping you with your duties and visiting you on his own. There were many nights where you would meet up on the Inn’s rooftop to watch the moon together.
Soon enough, Xiao started developing feelings for you. Everything you did made his knees weak. The fact that you would go out of your way to spend time with him made his heart flutter.
Did he really mean that much to you?
Why would someone as amazing as you choose to waste your time on a person like him?
You were a ray of light to Xiao, your existence and voice were soothing to him. The binds of his karmic debt seemed to become more bearable whenever you were around.
In short, Xiao really loved you, but he couldn’t tell you that.
Unfortunately, he was having trouble just communicating with you in general, having accepted his feelings for you. Now, instead of staying stone faced when you talked to him, he would be sent into a flustered panic.
It was becoming a real problem, especially since you felt the same way.
Despite Xiao’s cold exterior, he never failed to be gentle with you. You noticed how his eyes softened whenever he looked at you, always making sure that he hadn’t hurt you with anything he had said.
The way his brow furrowed when he was focused or confused made butterflies explode in your stomach. He was so beautiful, so inhumanly ethereal, and you wholeheartedly believed that he was a blessing sent from the Archons.
Everything he did made you happy, but you had no idea if he felt the same way about you.
So, you kept each other at an arm's length. Neither of you wanted to risk losing your friendship, so you avoided each other, pouring your hearts out to Verr Goldet, who had been rooting for both of you from the start.
Verr had watched your relationship grow over time, and watching both of you uselessly pining for each other annoyed her. She wanted both of you to have a romantic relationship, and over her dead body would she let you two grow distant.
So, she spoke to Xiao, telling him that if he didn’t confess tonight, he may never be able to. Xiao only looked down at the ground, ashamed that he was shying away from a mortal. But in truth, he was ashamed that he was shying away from you, his best friend.
After much convincing, Xiao gave you a letter, asking for you to meet him on the roof, at nightfall. It was the same place you usually met up, and the same place you bonded the most with each other.
Time was unkind to the Adeptus, and he knew that it was better to get this off his chest now, before it was too late. Hopefully, things would go well.
As night fell, Xiao went up to the roof. He sat down on the ledge and waited for you. Shaky breaths left his lips as his anxiety grew with every passing minute. It wasn’t very long before you showed up, your footsteps alerting your friend.
Xiao whipped his head to face you. His cheeks were beet red as he took in your form. The moon shone on your skin, additionally reflecting in your eyes.
God, you looked so beautiful, he thought.
Patting the space beside him, he gestured for you to sit down. You reluctantly followed his orders, anxiety burning in your chest.
“I…” Xiao sighed, gripping the ledge of the rooftop. “(Y/n), love you. Please… spend an eternity with me.”
Suspense hung in the air as he waited for your response. Then, a soft hand gripped his own. The dam of emotions you had been holding had finally broken. Tears of joy welled in your eyes as you laughed in relief.
“Are- are you okay? Was it something I said?” Xiao began to panic, reaching his hands out to try and pat your back. You grasped his hand once more as you tried to calm him down.
“Xiao- Xiao, of course not- I’m happy, that’s all.” You said, small giggles breaking through your words. Xiao tilted his head, confusion swirling in his eyes.
“H- Huh? Why?”
You wiped your eyes, and started directly into his own.
“Because I love you too.”
You leaned forward, kissing his forehead.
“And I promise, I’ll always be here for you.”
1K notes · View notes
sagechanoafterdark · 3 months ago
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Peanut Butter Passion
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Pairing: Bucky x Reader
Word Count: 1,419
Warnings: language, oral (male receiving), dirty talk, lots of heavy petting, hinted at food play, Bucky is a bad roommate and friend, poor Sam
A/N: Based off of THIS Reddit post and a conversation on the Smut Hub Discord. I should be sorry for writing this... I should be. Not beta'd all mistakes are my own.
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The two of you were never going to live this down.
The day started like any other, very normal and very soft. After a night of sweat, moaning and a creaking bed frame, you were pulled awake to soft kisses against your shoulder and Bucky nuzzling against your ear. It was soft and it was sweet as hell making the butterflies flutter in your belly. “Wakey, wakey sleeping beauty,” he rumbled against your ear.
Smiling into the pillow you rolled over, arms circling him and pulling Bucky close before giving a few lazy smooches, a whimper of contentment leaving when he pulled back. “Gonna go get coffee started.”
“Kay,” you replied sleepily, rolling back over and cuddling against the pillows.
Today was going to be like any other, that is until your horrible secret was exposed.
Truthfully you should have known better.
You and Bucky liked to live a little on the wild side of things, that was true. Enough that Sam had pointedly shown off the noise-canceling headphones he’d bought after two months of the both of you dating. The not-so-subtle hint enough that you had trouble meeting Sam's eyes for weeks after. There was no way you were going to live the embarrassment down, that is until today.
Bucky had fished the pajama pants off the floor before reluctantly leaving you still curled up in bed. Leaving the bathroom Bucky walked into the kitchen seeing Sam at the counter with his usual breakfast and a steaming hot cup of coffee.
"Morning," Bucky gruffed.
"Morning," Sam replied as chipper as ever, taking a bite of his toast. His eyes drifted to see you walking out of Bucky's room stifling a yawn, wearing a pair of boxers and the shirt Bucky had been wearing last night, "Morning Y/N."
"Morning Sammy," you greeted with a smile. Bucky offered you a mug and you shyly took it from his hands, leaning up to give him a soft kiss on the cheek. “Anything big planned for today Sam?”
"Nah, gonna take it easy today. Oh, and before I forget," Sam mumbled around a mouthful of peanut butter toast. "I know we have rules and all but I was out of peanut butter this morning and I used some of yours."
You choked on your coffee while Bucky turned about fifteen shades of red all at once.
"W-what," he squeaked out, eyes as wide as saucers.
"Come on man, it's just peanut butter. I'll get you a whole new...why are you guys looking at me like that?"
Both you and Bucky shot one another a sideways glance. You were vigorously shaking your head at Bucky who looked at you with wide and panicked eyes before Bucky turned back to Sam, "No reason."
"That's your lying face," Sam accused, pointing a finger at Bucky. "What was wrong with it? It wasn't expired..."
"No. No, it wasn't expired."
"Then what?"
"Can I give you a hypothetical," Bucky asked, ignoring your pained groan. "Let me walk you through a hypothetical."
The movie had long stopped in the background. Bucky was on top of you with one hand cupping your breast and hips grinding his erection against your thigh. Tongue sliding against the seam of your lips you’d gladly opened your mouth against him. Already working you up and driving you crazy Bucky had you moaning low and rolling your hips up as his metal hand lifted your thigh against his hip, opening you up further and begging for his fingers again.
Frenzied kisses turned slow and sensual before your teeth dragged against his lower lip and a groan rumbled deep in his chest, “You know what I want to do?”
“Hmm, what’s that,” he growled against your lips.
“Really want to suck your cock right now.”
A guttural moan broke past Bucky’s lips before his hips surged forward, rubbing hard against you. “Fuck,” he cursed in a breathy groan, pressing his forehead against yours. “Really Kitten? You can't tease me like that.”
Looking up into his eyes you bit your bottom lip and nodded, your hands pushing and maneuvering him off of you briefly before rolling Bucky onto his back. "Whos teasing soldier?"
Sitting up on his elbows Bucky watched as you slid off the edge of the bed. Your nails dragging along the sensitive skin of his thighs making his cock jump.
A bead of precum welled at the tip of his cock and your tongue briefly lapped it away with a little moan. But that was nothing compared to the ragged groan that erupted from Bucky as you slurped him all the way down and into your throat. Hand wrapping around the base you bobbed your head and swirled your tongue.
Bucky’s head tipped back at the sloppy sounding pop as you pulled back. “Holy fuck,” Bucky chanted over and over, his hands fisted in the comforter under him.
Moaning low in your throat you felt his thighs twitch struggling to stay still as you worked before pulling away with a slurping pop. “Wish we had that flavored lube still,” you teased, hand wrapped around the base of his cock and giving a few heavy strokes that had Bucky moaning deep in his chest. “We could get really messy then.”
“Kitten likes it messy huh,” Bucky purred, his hand brushing the hair from your eyes briefly.
You hummed in agreement, tongue stroking along the underside of his cock, following the thick vein before you saw his blue eyes light up briefly.
“I have an idea,” Bucky exclaimed, pushing you back off of him and shooting out the door of the bedroom.
Sitting back and blinking you wiped at your mouth briefly as his naked ass disappeared down the hallway. Praying to whatever god was listening that Sam would stay in his room with the noise-canceling earphones on and not find his buck-ass naked roommate wandering the kitchen...again.
Bucky returned a moment later, the familiar red-capped jar in his hand with a wiggle of his eyebrows and you smirked up at him from the floor.
“Bucky dipped his dick in the whole jar!”
Your hands covered your mouth in shock as you blurted out the startling truth. Hiding your face behind your hands in both shame and embarrassment as silence fell in the tiny kitchen. Peaking out you saw Sam staring at Bucky, his brown eyes were wide and glassy as his mouth opened and closed a couple of times, “Y-you dipped your what, in the jar?”
“I couldn’t get the whole thing in there,” Bucky tried to reason as if it was going to help at all. “Only about halfway, kind of had to even it up a little.”
Sam held a hand up and Bucky fell mute from his too much information ramble. The man looked sick, his face going slack for a brief moment before he’d scrambled off the kitchen stool and made a mad dash for the bathroom as the door slammed closed behind him. The faint sound of him heaving up his breakfast reaching the two of you.
“Why would you put it back in the cupboard,” you whispered accusatory after a brief moment.
“I was half asleep when I went to clean up,” Bucky explained, throwing his arms wide in explanation. “I managed to get you cleaned up and the jar was just laying there on the floor without a lid. I didn’t want it spilling. I must have brought it out here and put it back in the cupboard.”
You gave him a scathing look as you heard Sam in the bathroom gurgling mouthwash before an enraged growl sounded from the room making you both wince. After a few minutes, Sam returned to the kitchen with a truly haunted look on his face. Brown eyes skirting from Bucky, who stood casually against the counter with his mug of coffee to you, who looked absolutely distraught.
“Sammy, I’m so sorry I-”
“Save it,” he snapped, pointing between you both car keys in hand. “I’m leaving and we’re going to pretend this never happened understand. There was no incident. Nobody will ever eat anyone else’s food again. This is never talked about again. Got it.”
“Got it,” you rushed out in a whisper. Behind you Bucky was quiet and you turned to see his smirking face and a curl of dread welled up inside of you at that face.
“Alright Sam,” Bucky relented, seeing the distressed look on your face but his smirk didn’t fade. “Tell me something before you go.”
“Bucky no,” you bemoaned.
“How was my nut butter, Sam?”
“You’re both nasty!”
1K notes · View notes
babyboibucky · 2 months ago
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The Match - Part 18
Pairing: CEO!Bucky x Fem!Reader
Summary: The day of the event is finally here.
Word Count: 6.5k LMFAO STRAP THE FUCK IN BESTIES
Warnings: Uhhhhhhhhhhh hmmm idk stress? Minor panic attack? The answers to majority of y’alls questions?
A/N: Thank @lokithealligator for threatening forcing me to post this earlier LMFAO It’s finally time for the event, y’all!!! The only reason why this part is so fucking long is because I didn’t want to split it into two parts and leave y’alls asses hanging from another cliffhanger (also I be inserting gifs/photos for references and MAKE SURE TO LISTEN TO THE SONG THAT I WILL BE LINKING IN A CERTAIN PART I BEG YOU) Anyway, I hope everyone will enjoy the event!!!
The Match Masterlist || MAIN MASTERLIST
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Time check: 9:29am
Sanity check: About to lose it
The entire process of planning out the event went really smooth despite a few delays here and there. You didn’t encounter some major problems either so you were confident that the day itself would be just as smooth-sailing.
Much to your dismay, everything went wrong as soon as the day began.
You woke up feeling giddy and then the event stylist called and said that she had issues with her manpower. Not all of her people were free to bring in some of the fixtures needed for the venue so there was going to be a lot of going back and forth in delivering the items.
That wasn’t all too bad, the event doesn’t start until seven in the evening so you had plenty of time to figure shit out. But then the warehouse called and informed you that the latest car model— the very sole reason for this event— was damaged when it was being loaded into the truck and needed to be repaired.
You’ve been at the venue since eight in the morning, running errands and checking everything to ensure that the event was going to be a success. If more problems continue to pop out in the next few hours, you are going to be attending the event bald from how many times you were about to rip your hair out.
You were going through your event list when Martha approached you with an apologetic expression on her face, “Please tell me that nothing else went wrong.” you quickly told her.
She made a face, “The caterer called and said that they were encountering some issues in their kitchen.”
You were about to curse out loud when Martha was quick to calm you down, “But they’re figuring things out and they promised that the food will be here right in time for the event.”
You deadpanned, “If our guests starve tonight, I’m going to kill myself. Tell them that.” you said before quickly approaching the event stylist who was trying to get your attention.
“What do you got for me?” you asked.
“The signages are here…” she trailed.
You nodded, “And…?”
“The problem is that my men had to leave to get the other fixtures and we have no one to put them up.” she awkwardly grinned.
You closed your eyes and took in a sharp inhale, “I don’t understand how that’s my problem because as far as I can remember, you promised that everything will go perfectly well for today. Don’t you have other people you can ask to come over and help?” you asked, annoyed.
“I’m sorry, I’m really trying.” She apologized.
“Well, try harder because I’m about to go insane.” you snapped and walked away from her, needing a breather from everything that was going down.
You headed to the restroom and paced back and forth, balling your hands into fists as you tried to fight the panic attack that was threatening to hit you. Taking in a deep breath, you tried to hold it in before exhaling through your mouth. Your entire body was tense and you were finding it hard to breathe.
“Goddammit.” you huffed out, fanning yourself before washing your face with water.
Everything seemed to be so fucked up and it was messing with your mind. This event is a game-changer, both for you and the company. For Bucky, this was something personal given that his dad has been doubting him about his decision to let you lead the project. At some point, this was pretty personal for you too.
What if the event failed? The press was going to be there and it would bring so much embarrassment for Bucky. It’d embarrass you too, of course. The failure of the event could add fuel to the fire, especially with the issue surrounding Stark Enterprises being cut off as a major shareholder.
If the event failed, you’d end up disappointing Bucky, his dad, the entire team, Sam and most of all, yourself. All this hardwork but for what?
“Snap out of it, bitch what the fuck?” you whispered to yourself, knowing that you were already spiraling.
A series of knocks interrupted you, thankfully because you could feel the waterworks coming, “It’s open.” you called out as you straightened up yourself.
Much to your surprise, it was Bucky who was knocking. He was dressed casually, leather jacket on top of a black shirt and some black pants. If you weren’t so anxious right now, you would have realized that this was the first time you saw him in such an outfit and that he looked damn good in it.
“You’re not supposed to be here until the event.” you said.
He shrugged, “Thought I’d drop by and check on you.”
“Check on me or the event?” you asked back.
Bucky sighed, his expression remained blank. You weren’t sure whether he was mad or plain regretful that he let you spearhead the event.
“You. Needed to make sure you were fine. But as soon as I arrived, the event stylist immediately apologized and from there I kinda figured out what was going on.”
You opened your mouth to say something but quickly stopped when your chest tightened. There were a mixture of emotions swirling through you at that moment. Shame? Disappointment? You also felt apologetic because you’ve been so confident about leading this project but now here you were, halfway through a breakdown.
Was this your karma for fucking your boss?
“Hey, everything’s going to be fine.” Bucky said in a gentle voice upon seeing the look on your face.
He could still read through you obviously, he instantly knew what was going on inside your head just by seeing how stiff your body was. Perhaps if this happened long ago, you would have shut him down and walked out. But right now, when everything seemed to be in a complete mess, all you needed was a little bit of comfort.
Especially from Bucky.
“I just don’t want your dad to think that you made a mistake of trusting me with such a huge project.” you said, swallowing hard.
You hated how your voice wavered, how vulnerable you felt but also comforted that Bucky came by to check in on you.
Because you were truly losing it and no one was there to help you with it.
Bucky was careful to approach you, as if he didn’t want to break some boundaries. However, when you remained still, he took it as a sign and held your shoulders as he tried to catch your gaze.
“It’s not a mistake. We’ll figure things out, okay?” he reassured, rubbing your shoulders up and down to soothe you.
“But there are literally too many problems and we’ve only got like seven or eight hours left to fix them!” you panicked.
Bucky chuckled, cupping your cheek with his hand, “Listen to yourself, we’ve got eight hours left. I’m no genius in math but that sounds like a lot of hours.” he joked, making you laugh lightly.
“Look, whatever the outcome of this event is, I’d be happy about it. I’d still be proud of you and I would never regret entrusting this project to you.” he said, looking deeply into your eyes.
Your breath hitched in your throat but you tried to play it cool and nodded. The anxiety was still there but not as strong as it used to be. You could tell that you were slowly regaining control of yourself. You nodded in response and offered a small smile.
“Thanks, Bucky.”
Bucky smiled and tucked a loose strand of hair behind your ear, “So, how can I help?”
-
Moments ago, you were close to losing your marbles from all the things that were going wrong. You were still close to losing it now, but only because of Bucky and the way he actually dropped everything to help put up the signages on the stage.
As soon as the both of you went back into the main hall, you told him about the situation with the displays and as if he wasn’t the CEO, he merely shrugged off his leather jacket and did most of the lifting. His tight black shirt did nothing to help because it only enhanced his build. You could feel your mouth dry up at the sight of his biceps expanding every time he carried something heavy, exposing the veins running down his forearm.
“Oh my god…” you heard the event stylist mumble to herself as she, too, gawked at Bucky.
Unable to help yourself, you cleared your throat and lifted a brow at her. “You do know that’s our CEO, right? Doing all the grunt work because you failed to properly coordinate with your team?” you threatened.
She was quick to close her mouth, mumbling yet another apology before walking away to fulfill her other tasks.
Bucky grunted as he lifted the signage higher, securing it properly before dusting off his hands as he approached you.
“That look okay?” he asked, looking up at the signages— the logos of his and Sam’s companies.
Your eyes were still trained on his arm, still swollen from the amount of lifting he had been doing. Thankfully, you snapped yourself out of your unexpected thirst before he could even notice. You cleared your throat and nodded, “Yeah, it looks good.” you commented, side-eyeing his bicep.
“You didn’t have to do that though. Kind of feels weird to have my boss help out with the event preparations.” you admitted with a chuckle.
Bucky shrugged, “I’ve always been hands on when it comes to running the company, you know that.” he said.
“Do you want to grab lunch? You need a break too.” he asked, checking his watch for the time.
You made a face, “I would love to but I still have to check on a lot of things.”
Bucky nodded, “Okay, just make sure to eat.” he reminded you before taking his jacket from one of the tables, putting it back on.
“I have to go but uhhh, I guess I’ll see you tonight.” he said as he pursed his lips together.
You nodded again, “I’ll talk to you tonight.”
-
“Hello...hi...good evening...welcome...to...ugh...it’s nice to meet you…” you groaned in front of the mirror as you nervously practiced your greetings for the event.
This was going to be the biggest event you’d ever organized and there were plenty of big names in the guest list. If it would truly end up as a disaster, you were going to set yourself on fire right then and there.
You fixed your hair in the mirror and checked your make-up, you looked decent. Not like the bags beneath your eyes were still visible despite the amount of concealer you packed onto your skin. This event was stressing the hell out of you for so many reasons and although you wanted to get it over with, part of you didn’t want the night to end just yet.
The end of the event only meant the beginning of some other things you needed to deal with.
Time check: 5:32pm
It was time to head to the venue and face what the future has in store for you. Taking one last look at yourself in the mirror, you took a deep breath in and headed out.
-
“What do you mean there’s no dessert?!” you practically screamed into your phone as your car screeched to a stop at the red light.
When you left the venue earlier that day, everything fell into place. Finally. After all the delays and shortcomings on the end of some suppliers, things worked out. But now, listening to Martha update you that the caterer’s oven broke down in the middle of baking, you were convinced that this was definitely your karma for fucking your boss.
“Martha, our guests will start arriving at seven! Did the caterer suggest something else?” you asked, your grip on your steering wheel tightening.
When Martha said that there was nothing else the caterer could do, you groaned out loud and thanked her for the update, saying that you’ll figure things out.
You started hitting your forehead on your steering wheel, cursing and thinking at the same time. Just when you thought that everything was finally coming together perfectly, shit like this had to happen.
And then you remembered something, or someone, rather.
Lifting your head up, you quickly searched for a name in your contacts and pressed call.
“Steve, I need your help.”
-
You reached the small bakery at around 6pm, which meant you had less than an hour left to head back to the venue. You needed to be there before the guests started arriving, or at least, before George Barnes arrived or else you and Bucky wouldn’t hear the end of it.
Hopping out of your car in full glam, you ignored the curious looks of the people when you ran inside the bakery, immediately spotting Steve by the counter, stacking boxes and boxes of pastries on top of each other.
“Oh thank god, Steve!” you panted, not noticing how Steve’s jaw dropped to the ground seeing you all dressed like that.
He blinked as he eyed you from head to toe, shaking his head in amusement and awe, “You look amazing.”
You chuckled, “Thank you but I gotta rush to the venue. How much is everything?” you asked.
Steve waved a hand, “I already paid for them.”
Your eyes almost popped out of their sockets, knowing that you practically wiped the bakery clean of their entire pastry stock and for Steve to be able to pay for them just like that? “I’ll pay you back, I just need to have our accounting department process it.”
“Don’t worry about it. I know you’re in a hurry, so let me help you load these up in your car so you can get going.” Steve said and began to bring the boxes to your car.
“Thank you so much!” you told him before turning to the owner of the shop, “And ma’am, thank you!” you told her.
She smiled kindly at you, “Sweetie, thank you for wiping our inventory clean.”
It didn’t take long for all the boxes to fill up both your backseat and trunk. You quickly slipped inside your car and brought the window down to thank Steve for the last minute favor. You knew that he was close with the owner of the bakery, so you thought that maybe he can help you with your dessert problem.
“I owe you, Steve. I’ll make it up to you.” you said and started the car, only for it to make a whirring sound before staying still.
Can this day get any worse?!
You tried to start the engine again but the same thing happened. Bowing your head, you gathered all your courage before looking up at Steve who was already staring at you expectantly.
“I think I’m gonna need to ask you another favor.”
-
“Calm down, you’re making me nervous with how restless you are. And I don’t even know what the hell is going on.” Steve said, sparing you a glance as he drove.
You sighed, “Sorry, it’s just that this event is a really big deal for me.” you said.
Steve laughed, “I can see that.” he said.
“I already asked you two favors, I might as well go for a third one. Can you go any faster?” you asked apologetically, seeing that you only had around thirty minutes left.
Steve gave you a confident smirk, “You asked for it.” he said before revving up the engine of his car and then stepping on the gas.
You’ve been in and out of calls during the entire ride, ensuring that everything was going smoothly and without any more problems. You called Mark and told him that you were nearby and needed help bringing in the pastry boxes.
As soon as you could see the venue coming into your view, you quickly fixed your hair and reapplied your lipstick.
“I swear to god if George is already there…” you murmured to yourself.
Steve snickered, “And who is this George you’re whispering about? Your asshole boss?” he asked.
You rolled your eyes, “Well, he used to own the company but now his son is the CEO.” you responded with nonchalance.
Steve frowned a bit, “George...you said you work in the automotive industry, right?” he asked.
You merely hummed in response, your attention focused on your phone as you messaged everyone on your team and informed them that you were nearby.
“Are you talking about George Barnes? Do you work for Barnes Group of Companies?” Steve asked again.
You nodded, still inattentive, “Yeah, it’s a long story why I need to be there before George arrives.”
“Your boss is James Barnes? Bucky Barnes?” Steve asked again, slowing down the car by the entrance of the venue.
“You know him?” you asked Steve with a confused look on your face, until you came to a realization at the same time he was about to answer your question.
“Bucky is—”
“Well, who doesn’t know him and his family? Why am I even surprised you know him.” you said with a chuckle, rushing to open the door when the car halted at the venue.
“Thank you so much, Steve! I swear, I’ll make it up to you. And please, don’t bother helping out with the boxes. We’ll do it from here, I don’t want to bother you any longer.” you said and stepped out, waving over at Mark and the catering staff to get the pastries.
“I see you found yourself a new man.” Mark teased as the both of you headed inside the venue. “And you look great, by the way. Good luck to Bucky in keeping his hands off of you.” he said.
You glared at him playfully, shaking your head. “He’s just a friend who happened to save the day.” you explained, “And you don’t look so bad yourself too.” you complimented, dusting off his suit before smirking, “Good luck to Janet in keeping his hands off of you.” you returned his joke before excusing yourself to check on how things are going.
-
Doing one last round of checking gave you somewhat the relief you have been wanting to experience since the day began. Finally, everything seemed to be perfect— the desserts were already laid out on the buffet table, the lights and sound system were working, tables were properly set— thank fuck for that.
Everyone from the company started arriving first and it was almost at exactly seven when you saw Bucky arrive, clad in a blue suit and black dress shirt inside. He had forgone the tie this time, leaving the top two buttons of his shirt open.
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His eyes immediately met yours as soon as he entered the venue and the way he took in your appearance made you squeeze your thighs together. His blue eyes darkened at the sight of you wearing the dress he had given and you almost felt like you were standing there naked.
You sort of figured out why he probably went with this dress. It wasn’t that revealing but it showed the right amount of skin that could make one’s imagination go wild, at least his own imagination.
You pretended to be busy, chatting up the staff of the venue and giving them reminders how to treat the guests, but not without stealing quick glances at Bucky. He was surveying the surroundings carefully as he approached you, as if not wanting to be obvious that he wanted to talk to you as soon as he got there.
“Hi.” he greeted shyly.
You smiled at him, “Hi.”
“You look beautiful.” Bucky complimented, looking at you from head to toe.
The way his eyes scanned your exposed leg (thanks to the thigh-high slit that your dress had) made your throat dry and when he looked at you like that? You would’ve clutched your pearls if you wore one.
Any woman would swoon when gazed at like that.
“It’s the dress you bought.” you said, dodging the compliment. “You look handsome, Mister Barnes.” you teased, trying to ease the atmosphere.
Your smile faltered as soon as your line of sight went past Bucky towards his father who had just arrived. Bucky noticed the change in your demeanor and turned around, his shoulders dropping when his father approached him.
“Thought you wouldn’t show up.” Bucky said, placing his hands inside the pockets of his pants.
George snickered, “And miss this event for the world? I don’t think so.” he said before turning to you, “Besides, I’m intrigued how this night would turn out. Someone did promise a successful event.” he said, keeping his eyes on you.
You fought the urge to roll your eyes at the audacity of this man. Well, you were still nervous but of course, you weren’t going to show that. You lifted your chin up and put on the best smile you could, “I’m glad you were able to make it, should I usher you to your table?” you asked.
George shook his head, frowning at your confidence yet again. “I can manage, thank you.” he said before turning to Bucky.
“We’re not done talking about Stark yet.” he said in a warning tone.
Bucky snickered, “We are done talking about that. Make sure you stay until the end of the program, I wouldn’t miss it for the world.” he said, using his father’s words meaningfully.
George gave you one last look before leaving. The guests began to slowly arrive and of course, Bucky needed to be the one to welcome and entertain them.
He turned to you with a hopeful smile, “Talk to you later?” he asked.
You nodded, “Talk to you later.”
-
The event seemed to be a success, with all the guests praising the set-up and the food. You had been going around and greeting everyone, ushering them to their seats and informing them of the program.
Bucky and Sam were both busy mingling with a lot of other well, rich people— from fellow CEOs to politicians and maybe even potential shareholders.
Your chest swelled with pride seeing this project come to life despite all the stress you encountered throughout the day. As you were conversing with one of the press, your eyes caught Bucky’s while he, too, was in the middle of a conversation. He threw a flirty smile your way before he gave you that look, yet again.
The proud look, one where he’d tilt his head while lifting an eyebrow at you and of course, the classic smirk that always made you clench your thighs together.
Man, and it’s only eight in the evening.
When everyone was almost done with dinner, the program finally began with the host welcoming everyone to the event. She talked a bit about both Bucky and Sam’s companies and why the partnership was one for the books.
A video introducing the latest model was played and as soon as it was over, the host called Bucky up on stage to officially launch the product.
In the years you have worked in his company, you had never witnessed him in such a situation. Prior to matching with him on Tinder, you’d only seen him in meetings and small launches. Nothing to this scale but now, watching Bucky talk so eloquently and confidently about the new product, you’d realized how different he was when in his element.
This was James Barnes, the CEO of Barnes Group of Companies.
How he was able to command the entire room to pay their full attention to him as he talked about the new technologies and the partnership with Wilson Enterprises, you couldn’t believe that this was the same immature man you had been dealing with.
You almost felt intimidated by him as he talked on stage.
You snapped out of your thoughts when the entire venue burst in a round of applause, with some of them even standing from their seats. You’d seen how George looked both impressed and embarrassed, probably by how he doubted his very own son.
Bucky looked proud as he waited for the applause to die down and when the room was quiet again, he took it as a chance to conclude his speech.
“Before anything else, I would like to thank everyone for coming here today. To my team who worked tirelessly to make this new product possible, to all our shareholders for sticking to our side, I am very grateful. I am most especially grateful to the person who is responsible for making this event possible.” He said, his eyes quickly finding you in the sea of people.
Your heartbeat accelerated when he acknowledged you publicly, your hand automatically went up to your chest to rub at it, trying to calm down your racing heart.
You thought it would end there, but then Bucky mentioned your name and motioned towards you. In an instant, all eyes were on you.
“She’s the one behind all this and without her, there wouldn’t even be an event right now. So, if anyone planned on congratulating me for the success of this launch, congratulate her instead.” He said.
You awkwardly looked around and returned the smiles that everyone gave you.
“Congratulations, honey.” A familiar voice called out.
A delicate hand wrapped around your arm and upon turning to your side, you saw that it was Mackenzie. She looked stunning as always, dressed in a long sleeved white, body-fitting dress with a plunging neckline.
“I’m so happy you came, Kenzie!” You greeted, giving her a hug.
“Of course, we’ve got history.” She teased before looking around, “And this is amazing. I knew you could pull this off better than I ever could.” She praised with an impressed look.
“Thank you.” you laughed, “How have you been?” You asked.
“Oh you know, same old same old. And you? How are you and Bucky? Seems like things are better now than when I left.” She said, voice insinuating at something.
You chuckled, “Better, I would say. But we’ve got a lot to talk about still.” You admitted.
“Well, I hope everything goes well. And if you need anything, and I mean anything, you have my number.” She said, taking your hand. “I’m gonna go grab myself some more of those Strawberry Tarts, they’re really good.”
You laughed and bid goodbye before focusing back on Bucky who seemed to be about to wrap up on his speech.
“And since everyone is already here, I would like to announce that Wilson Enterprises is now our largest shareholder. Please welcome my partner and good friend, Sam Wilson.”
There was a collective gasp followed by applause when Bucky made the announcement. Even you couldn’t hold back on the surprised expression.
Seemed like the night was going to be full of surprises.
-
The program has ended and everyone was left to mingle. The press immediately jumped at the opportunity to interview both Bucky and Sam as soon as they got offstage.
“Congratulations on the event, you did a great job.” Someone you recognized as a chief editor for a magazine told you as you walked around the venue.
You received a couple more acknowledgements, even from politicians and needless to say, you were proud of yourself for being able to pull this off.
“So, I guess you need to treat Bev and I to lunch.” Mark said as he and Beverly approached you.
“Bestie, congrats! This event is amazing! And the aesthetic? Ugh, I’ve already taken so many photos all over the place!” She squealed with delight.
Mark groaned, “Yeah, well you could at least credit me when you upload those photos.” He complained.
“We’ll definitely go out for dinner and drinks. It’s on me.” You said with a smile.
Beverly’s grin faltered when she remembered your resignation but you made sure to shut it down as soon as you noticed her look.
“Let’s just have fun tonight, okay?” You reminded her.
“Excuse me, may I steal the star of the night for a while?”
You looked back and saw that it was Sam. He looked really dashing in his three-piece black suit paired with that billion-watt smile of his.
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Mark and Bev excused themselves and left you with Sam, “Dibs on your first dance for tonight?” He asked, offering his arm.
You heartily laughed and hooked your arm in his, following him out into the dancefloor where majority of the guests were already swaying to the music.
“Mister Shareholder, huh?” You asked. “Since when?”
“It’s been on my mind for quite a while now, and then Bucky told me about the situation with Stark Enterprises. I figured it was a sign for me to push through with this decision.” He explained as the both of you started to slow dance.
“Have you decided on my offer?” Sam was quick to jump right into it.
You hummed, “I thought about it really hard. It’s the biggest offer I’d ever received, in my entire life.” You admitted.
When you read the agreement that Sam gave you that one night, you were so tempted to take the offer. It was for a Chief Operating Officer role anyway. COO. The second in the chain of command of a company. It was like ten steps ahead of your current position.
Who would turn that down?
“And I can’t accept it, Sam. I’m sorry.” You apologized, shaking your head.
“I don’t think I’m ready for that responsibility and as much as I am flattered that you even considered me for that position, I have a lot more things I need to learn.” You explained.
Sam smiled, “I figured you would turn it down.” He said, much to your surprise. “I was hoping you wouldn’t because I see potential in you. You can take on that role, but I also respect your decision. But I want you to know that you are capable of it. Never doubt your skills. I’ve seen it first hand.” He said.
You tightened your grip on Sam’s shoulder as you danced, giving him a big smile before leaning in for a friendly hug.
“Thank you, Sam. This means the world to me.” You said and pulled back.
Sam sighed, “I am kinda bummed out, but I understand. If you ever changed your mind, let me know.” He said.
“You’d be the first to know, trust me.” You laughed.
“Mind if I cut in?”
You turned at the sound of Bucky’s voice. As if on cue, the music changed into a slower, more sensual one and the lights dimmed into a warm, orange glow. The people on the dance floor slowly began to disperse, leaving some couples to sway to the romantic music.
Sam turned to you and winked before patting Bucky’s arm, “She’s all yours, Barnes.” He said before leaving you with Bucky.
Bucky seemed to hesitate to place his hands on your waist so you made the first move and rested your hands on his shoulders. There was enough distance between both your bodies and yet this was the closest you've been with him after quite a while. You evened out your breathing when you felt Bucky's hands finally land on your waist, his fingers oh so slightly pressing down against the fabric of your dress.
“I told you this will be a success. Congratulations.” he said.
You shook your head, “Everyone helped out; congratulations to us. And to the new shareholder. Is that why you asked your father to stay until the end of the program? What did he say?” you curiously asked.
“He left after the announcement. He’s never been too keen on Wilson Enterprises.” Bucky chuckled, licking his lips.
You nodded in understanding, clearing your throat as the both of you slowly danced to the music. There was an awkward pause for a brief moment, as if neither wasn’t sure whether now was the time for the talk.
“I’m surprised you skipped on the tie tonight.” you commented, knowing that Bucky always wore one during big events.
Bucky smiled, removing one hand from your waist as he reached for something in his back pocket. He dangled a bowtie right in front of your face as he laughed, “I forgot to put it on. I was running late.”
You threw your head back as you chuckled, taking the bowtie before squinting at Bucky, “And why were you running late Mister CEO?” you asked.
“I was nervous.” Bucky admitted.
“Nervous, huh? Were you second-guessing the success of this event?” you raised an eyebrow at him.
Bucky merely forced out a chuckle before shaking his head, “I was nervous about talking to you.” he said, catching your gaze.
The silence that followed was uncomfortable, in the sense that there were things left unsaid. There was a little bit of tension but it was balanced out by the yearning that the both of you felt in that moment.
“The floor is all yours.” you said and as if it was second nature, you started buttoning up Bucky’s dress shirt before wrapping his bowtie around his neck, tying it and adjusting it.
Bucky audibly breathed out at your action, his shoulders tensing up a bit until you soothed them down with your hands. He kept on licking his lips as he tried to find his words and this time, you allowed him to take his time without any interruptions.
“I’m sorry.” he started, “I’ll never stop apologizing for what I did to you because you didn’t deserve that. I was selfish, I didn’t know how to deal with being said no to. I...I grew up not knowing my place in the lives of the people I considered special. My mom left to be with another man because my dad is shitty. My existence wasn’t enough to stop her from leaving and my dad kept on blaming me, saying that maybe I was too much to handle. I was a spoiled kid and I grew up, still spoiled.” Bucky explained.
Your heart ached for Bucky upon hearing his childhood, not that it was a valid excuse for his behavior, but it was somehow enlightening.
“My mom’s new husband has a son too, around my age. He’s way better than I am, at least that’s what I felt growing up being compared to him most of the time. Even my dad thinks he’s better than I am.” Bucky scoffed.
“The first girl I loved also left, she said that I wasn’t doing enough to make her stay. I wanted her to stay, but I was afraid if I showed her how much I loved her, she’d think I’m too much and leave. She still left anyway.” he breathed out and you could feel his grip tighten around your waist.
“My point is...when I care about someone, I don’t know how to show it. I’m going to be honest, when you rejected me, the way I reacted was because of my ego. But the more you started to distance yourself, the more afraid I got because I didn’t want to lose you. And my ego was replaced by fear and I didn’t want to lose you the same way I lost my mom, my first love...I fought for you but all in the wrong ways.” he said.
“I didn’t want you to think that letting you go was that easy for me. And then Sam appreciated you, treated you the way I should have and my insecurities got the best of me. Being compared to someone better than me messed me up and seeing you with Sam...it just...it struck a nerve and I lost control and said things I shouldn’t have. You didn’t deserve that and I am truly sorry for hurting you.” Bucky’s voice was strained, as if he was giving it his all not to break.
And for the first time since the entire ordeal happened, you finally understood him. You didn’t regret your outburst, Bucky needed that wake up call to fix his attitude. But now, you were slowly figuring him out.
He wasn’t perfect but he was trying. You could see that now.
“I’m so sorry about your past.” you mumbled, bowing down.
Bucky called out your name gently, “You shouldn’t be. This was all me and thanks to you, I realized how much of an ass I was.” he laughed.
“I’m not going to force you to forgive me...I just wanted you to know that you’re so much more than what you think. And you deserve so much better than me or this company. You’re in good hands with Sam.” Bucky sadly said, avoiding your eyes as he looked around his surroundings.
“I turned down his offer.” you said.
Bucky’s head snapped back at you, eyes wide and somewhat hopeful. Before he could even assume, you quickly clarified things.
“But I’m not staying either.” you said. “I think it’s also time for me to try out other things, you know?”
Bucky nodded, his eyes sad. However, he managed to give you a genuine smile. “I understand.”
“Thanks, Bucky.” you said. “Thank you for trusting me and for respecting my decision.”
Thinking that everything was finally addressed, you sort of got disappointed that Bucky didn’t say anything else. Not that you were expecting him to say something. Definitely not expecting.
You stopped swaying to the music and tried to step back but then Bucky didn’t let you go. His hands stayed on your waist and his eyes on yours. His mouth was open agape, as if he wanted to say something but just couldn’t bring himself to do so.
“You okay?” you worriedly asked.
Bucky nodded, “I just…”
“You just…what?” you urged.
“I wanted you to know that…” Bucky trailed, his eyes dilating as he gazed at you with an expression you couldn’t quite put a finger on.
“When I said that I didn’t know how to show it when I cared about someone,” Bucky started and for some reason, your heart began to pound heavily against your ribcage.
You didn’t know why your palms started to sweat and why you felt restless all of a sudden as you waited for Bucky to speak up. He too seemed to be going through the same thing because you could feel his fingers dig into the fabric of your dress the same way your hands were tightening their grip on his shoulders.
“Bucky, what are you trying to say?” you insisted.
Bucky looked up at you, his eyes scanning your features from your nose down to your lips before going back to your eyes. And in that moment, you already knew what he was going to say before he even said it out loud.
“I’m in love with you and it drives me crazy.”
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forever-rogue · 24 days ago
Note
heyy could you do something with javier and “ who did this to you? “ [silence] “ hey, look at me. look at me. who did this to you?” from the injury post please? thank you!!<3
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AN | Please, this is one of my favorite tropes, so please enjoy!
Pairing | Javier x Fem!Reader
Warnings | Mention of injury and blood
Word Count | 2.3k
Masterlist | Main, Javier
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
You didn't know why you found yourself knocking at Javier's door. You shouldn't have come here, every fiber of your being knew that, but somehow any remaining bit of sense you'd had was long gone.
A shaky breath, as rattled as your nerves, left your lips as you waited to see if he was home. After a few moments of pained silence you'd decided that he likely wasn't home and it would be a good time to run away to your apartment and tend to yourself. This was silly after all; why did you attempt to seek solace in Javier? Just because he was your partner didn’t mean he could just be someone you would go to; he wasn’t exactly fond of you, reminding you upon your first meeting that you were a poor excuse for a replacement for Steve. He wasn’t going to be able to help you.
Sighing at yourself, you clutched at your stinging side before shuffling your way back to your own apartment. Forcing yourself to glance down to actually check how bad the wound in your side was, you were unpleasantly surprised to see the dark blood seeping into the clean t-shirt had changed into before attempting to go over to Javier. You had to do something to stop the bleeding and get it cleaned up but going into any clinic proved risky in a place where everyone talked and one wrong thing could get you killed. You’d have to hope you had enough survival instinct and sense to keep yourself safe.
Just before you managed to open your door back up, his door opened with a slow creak as he stuck his head out of the door and looked around before meeting your shocked eyes.
“Hey,” he said gruffly as you swallowed the lump in your throat, “did you knock?”
“Yeah, sorry, that was me,” you attempted to give him a half smile in an attempt to avoid any further questioning, “didn’t mean to umm...interrupt - I wasn’t thinking. Sorry.”
“What’s wrong?” it was a gruff short question as a sting of pain coursed through your side
“Nothing,” you lied, averting his eyes as you moved to step back inside, “sorry again.”
“You’re lying,” he insisted as he stepped into the hall and over to you, “what happened?”
“Javi-” but your attempt to stop him, bullheaded as he was and you knew he was, he walked all the way over to you, arms across his chest as you refused to meet his eyes and tilted your body away from him. Unsure of how to avoid the situation and to get him to go away without arousing even more suspicion, you sighed lightly, “it’s nothing, I-”
Before the lie could even spill past your lips, Javier’s fingers wrapped around your wrist as he gently pulled your frame towards his. He inhaled sharply as he quickly took in the sight of your blood soaked shirt; you winced with worry, ready to be reprimanded by him for getting stuck enough to let something like this happen to you.
“You’re hurt,” it was a simple statement as tears pricked at the back of your eyes, and you found yourself at a loss for words. His grip became more gentle as his brow furrowed, “fuck. Who did this to you?”
You found yourself unable to form any words and instead allowed yourself to meet his eyes, ready to find fire and anger in them. Instead you found...worry and fear, two things you absolutely hadn’t been expecting. Unable to hold his gaze, you looked at your feet and willed him to go away.
“Hey, look at me. Look at me,” he brought his free hand under your chin and gently turned your face up towards his, “who did this to you?”
“I dunno,” you admitted meekly, “it all happened so fast. I didn’t see the person, just felt it and then looked and it happened.”
“Where were you? How did you get home?” he quickly weighed his options on how to best help you, but knew that ultimately he had to take care of you himself.
“I don’t know,” you almost cried, worried about the injury and the fog surrounding the past...hour, two? since you it had happened, “its all foggy and confusing.”
“You’ve lost a lot of blood,” he hissed through gritted teeth, “fuck, dulzura. Come with me - I’ll take care of you.”
“It’s okay,” you were half ready to hobble back into your apartment, to do a makeshift patch-up job on yourself, “you don’t have to help...I know you don’t like me that much.”
“You think I don’t...no. You’re not going anywhere,” his grip on your wrist was firm but gentle as he pulled you in the direction of his apartment, “you’re not in any position to take care of yourself.”
“Javier,” he wasn’t having it in the slightest as he pulled you down the hall with him and back into his apartment. If you’d been in any mental state other than the current one, you’d have looked around and tried to see if the place suited what you’d known him to be.
“As much as I love that smart mouth of yours, for once I need to keep quiet and still and let me take care of you, okay?” he shut the door behind him and saw you ready to curl up on his couch, “not yet. Into the bathroom so I can assess the damage.”
You didn’t have enough energy to argue with him, so you took his outstretched hand and let him take you down to the small hallway. The almost fluorescent lighting was blinding as you sat at the edge of the tub and watched as Javier opened the medicine and cabinet and pulled out a sewing kit, some alcohol and clean gauze. It appeared he was more than ready for his type of situation; it made your heart tinge to think that he had likely been in this position before and probably had to take care of himself.
“I’d help you,” your lips felt dry and cracked, throat parched as you looked at him with a pathetic little expression on your face. If he hadn’t been so concerned, he’d probably have laughed, but now was not the time. Instead, he raised an eyebrow, confused by your statement, “if you got hurt. I’d help you - I want to help.”
“With those butter fingers? I don’t think so,” he teased, reaching for your shirt, making sure it was okay to lift it up before doing so. Offering him a timid nod, you watched as pushed up the wet fabric, his features remaining emotionless as he tried to not let his true emotions show, “I’m going to clean it, stitch it up, and then get it wrapped okay?”
“Is it bad?” you almost whimpered as the warm air seemed to sting the entire area. He was silent for a few moments before shaking his head and reaching for the alcohol and clean rag.
“I’ve seen worse,” he deflected the question as you sat there, still as a mouse, “it’ll be okay - are you sure you don’t want to go to the clinic? I’m assuming not...do you trust me?”
“Yes,” you breathed as you watched him sterilize the needle after fishing the lighter out of his pocket, “I trust you, Javi.”
“Good,” he grimaced slightly, “because this is going to hurt. I’ll try to be as careful as possible, okay?”
“Okay.”
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
When you woke up, your head was pounding and you felt more parched than you ever had before. Confused as to your current surroundings, you sat up in a hurry, immediately regretting everything as soon as you felt the pain searing in your side.
“Shit, shit, shit,” you hissed as you threw back the blanket and pulled up your shirt. Instead of the open, angry wound you remembered from earlier, you now saw a pristine bandage. Oh. So the whole coming to Javier and him finding you in the hallway and bringing you back to his apartment hadn’t been a wild fever dream. Pausing to look around the room, you came to the conclusion that you were in Javier’s bedroom.
It was surprisingly...tranquil. Sparsely decorated but still very him - it moment felt almost too intimate and you wondered if you should thank him for the help and go back to your own apartment. Before you could do anything else, you heard his telltale footsteps in the hall followed by a soft knock on the door.
“Hey,” he gently pushed open the door once you made a small sound for him to come in, “you’re awake...that’s...that’s good. How are you feeling?”
“Like absolute shit,” you confessed as you rubbed at your temples, “thank you, Javi. For taking care of me...I didn’t expect you to and wouldn’t have blamed you if you’d just left me to fend for myself.”
“I would never do that,” he sat at the edge of the bed, letting the mattress dip slightly as he watched you intently. Almost as if he wasn’t quite sure of whether or not he wanted to hear you say it, he whispered, “I'll always take care of you."
A silence, neither uncomfortable or totally calming, fell over the two of you as you found yourself unable to look away from his eyes. Words caught in your throat as your face heated up and you just offered a simple nod.
"For what it's worth, I really appreciate it...you," once you were able to find the words, you awkwardly shuffled to move out of the bed, "I guess I should get going."
"No," he insisted, a strong hand found your leg as he attempted to keep you rooted in place. You froze immediately at the feeling of his touch, "you're staying here. You need to rest."
“I can get it from here,” you insisted, ready to move again but the look in his eyes was enough to get you to stop and oblige him, “okay.”
“What happened?” his whole demeanor shifted as his expression softened, watching as you leaned back against the pillow, “you were a mess last night. Do you remember anything?”
“Vaguely,” you admitted, “what I remember most is coming back and you helping me. I guess that counts. The rest...it’s a bit of a blur still.”
“What were you doing that put you in the position of getting stabbed?” his voice was low and you could easily tell that he was trying to hold back his anger - not at you, “this wasn’t some sort of accident, so don’t even try that one.”
“I..” you paused, gnawing on your lip before sighing and deciding it was better to tell him the truth now and not later, “I was tailing some people who I thought might have some intel that we could use - I followed them to a club...the rest is pretty easy to figure out from there. They figured out that something was wrong and got to me before I could get away. The rest is foggy though...I don’t even remember how I really made it back.”
“Jesus...fuck,” he pinched the bridge of his nose before exhaling sharply, “what possessed you to do that on your own and not mention this to me, your partner, or anyone else?”
“I just…” you paused before shrugging lightly, “I wanted to prove myself...that I could do this on my own. Sometimes it feels like you don’t think I can handle myself or that you don’t think I’m good enough…”
“I’m trying to protect you!” it was a statement, more of surprise than anything else, as he appeared just as shocked as you that he actually said those words out loud. He inhaled deeply before sitting back and shaking his head, “I know you are more than capable but I’m trying to keep you safe. If that means me taking more of the brunt that’s fine. Obviously you’re smart and can handle yourself - besides this little incident - they wouldn’t have sent you down here if you weren’t.”
“Y-you don’t hate me?” your voice trembled as you looked at him timidly, “it just seemed like...I don’t know. I like to expect the worst I guess.”
“Yeah,” he laughed dryly, “I can see that.”
“Javier,” you let his name linger between the two of you, testing it out to see how it tasted on your tongue after what he had just said. You liked it, “I...thank you.”
“Just stay here and go back to sleep for a while,” he pointed at your side, “try to move as little as possible so it has a chance to heal. I’ll go make you something to eat. Yes?”
“Yes,” you agreed with a soft half smile. He nodded before slowly moving to stand up and head to the kitchen. Feeling emboldened by what had just transpired, you stopped him, “Javi?”
“Hmm?”
“I like your bed,” you grinned sheepishly, “it seems like you - good.”
He felt something odd shoot down his spine as he turned to watch you with curious eyes. Unable to stop himself he walked back over to you, and slowly - almost too slowly - leaned down and kissed the top of your head.
“We’re not finished by the way,” he pointed between the two of you, “I want the full details later, but for now just rest.”
“Thank you, Javier.”
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
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heesunminies · 6 days ago
Text
bourbon and blood
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synopsis: you had charmed the man right to where you wanted him, like a fly trapped in a spider’s web - if only he knew you were Park Jay’s girl.
genre: smut
rating: nsfw, 18+
pairing: dom Jay x sub fem! reader
word count: 5.2k
warnings: mafia/gang au, alcohol, strong violence, blood, guns, knives, dom Jay, sub reader, semi-public sex, sir kink, oral (m receiving), fingering (f receiving), unprotected sex (always use protection irl!), knife play
A/N: first post back in forever! please enjoy, and remember to practice safe sex. anything involving kinks should be safe, sane and consensual - especially some of the more intense stuff in this fic! read the warnings and read responsibly <3
NSFW content, read at own discretion  🔞
You sipped lightly on your drink again with your eyes trained on the man of your target, not even wincing at the slight burn of the alcohol slipping down your throat.
 You clutched the glass slightly tighter with your manicured fingers, standing up and smoothing out your slinky satin dress before sauntering across the floor of the club, making sure to put a swing in your hips as you weaved through the patrons, ignoring the interested looks you received and honing in only on the man standing a few feet ahead of you.
 You clutched the glass slightly tighter with your manicured fingers, standing up and smoothing out your slinky satin dress before sauntering across the floor of the club, making sure to put a swing in your hips as you weaved through the patrons, ignoring the interested looks you received and honing in only on the man standing a few feet ahead of you.
 Choosing the perfect moment when the man was facing away from you, you glanced to the side in a perfect display of distraction and walked straight into him, stumbling and spilling your drink in the process.
 He turned with a frown, mouth open to curse out whoever bumped into him until he met your large doe eyes, his own scanning appreciatively over your scantily-clad body and lips curling into a leer.
 “Sorry about that, sweetheart. Let me buy you another drink?”
 You pushed your hair behind your ear and bit your lip, a damsel in distress. “Oh no, that’s okay, sir, I couldn’t possibly-”
 “Don’t worry about it,” he interjected, waving a hand dismissively. “You just sit there and look pretty until I come back. Same again?”
 You twisted your hands together shyly and gave him your most demure smile. “Yes please.”
 He winked at you before moving on his way towards the bar, flanked tightly by other suited men at all times as per usual. You took a seat on a nearby chair, crossing your long legs and leaning back with your weight on your hands to flaunt your chest. The other men in the area eyed you hungrily, but you knew they wouldn’t make a move - not when the main man had already claimed you with his interest.
 When the man had returned with your drink and was seated next to you, arm slung over your shoulders, you waited patiently for the perfect opportunity. 
 “So what’s a pretty little thing like you doing here?” he slurred. His breath stank of liquor and cigarettes, and you felt your nostrils flare slightly at the smell but maintained your expression, batting your eyelashes and looking up through them seductively.
 “I’m allowed to have a little fun, right? Besides,” you purred, resting a hand delicately on the man’s thigh, “you meet the most interesting people in clubs.”
 He wet his lips with his tongue, darting out in some crude imitation of a reptile while his beady eyes darkened.
 “Aren’t I a little old for you, sweetheart?” he chuckled, but his hand rested over your own on his thigh and he leaned in closer to you all the same.
 You shook your head adamantly. “No, I don’t think so! Sure, you’re older, but…”
 You trailed off and leaned in to murmur, making sure your hot breath could be felt on the shell of his ear.
 “Guys my own age don’t know how to treat me properly. I need a man.”
 You leaned back and took another sip from your drink, watching as he licked his lips again. You had just lowered the glass from your lips when he grabbed your wrist and moved it to the side, ignoring your widened eyes and making you place your drink down on the table beside you both.
 When your hands were free, he grabbed onto your face and pulled you in for a messy kiss, tongue immediately probing inside your mouth. You closed your eyes and did your best to think about anything other than the bad taste and disgusting feeling of the wet muscle assaulting your mouth. Distantly, you heard a few hoots and whistles from the men around you as they watched, and you internally rolled your eyes.
 When the man’s hands moved from your face to your waist you let it happen, but when you felt one moving down towards your thigh you gripped it hard and pulled it back up, breaking the kiss to smile coyly at him. 
 “Are you gonna take me home or what?” you asked breathlessly, hyper-aware of the sensation of the blade strapped to your thigh beneath your dress.
 Lucky for you you had made enough of a mark, the man nodding at you salaciously and gripping your wrist harshly once again to drag you towards the exit, his men following him obediently.
 You deliberately sat in the car so that your thigh that didn’t hold the knife was closest to the man, allowing him to grope you without discovering the blade. The feeling of his fingers on your skin and the filthy words he whispered into your ear made you shiver in the bad way, goosebumps rising on your arms that he probably wrongly attributed to arousal. Even still, you beared it and acted the part, all shy giggles and bitten lips.
 As much as your stomach turned, you knew how men like him were; far too possessive to ever touch you explicitly in front of his henchmen, and even if he did you had your protection as your last resort.
 As expected, when the car pulled up to the man’s apartment block he waved his men off, pulling you out of the vehicle and giving them orders to make themselves scarce until he contacted them, one-handed grip burning your waist the entire time.
 He brought you to the elevator, kissing sloppily at your neck while it ascended and you squeezed your eyes shut, willing the time to go faster.
 Finally the elevator arrived and when he took out his keys to unlock the door, you turned him around to press his back against the door and grabbed the keys off him, reaching behind him to unlock the door yourself while you purposefully pressed your breasts against his chest.
 “Allow me.”
 He simply chuckled and let you do it with the demeanour of an adult letting a child indulge in their whims, walking backwards into the apartment once you opened the door. You followed him and slammed the door shut behind you, grabbing him by the tie and pulling him down into a searing kiss before he had the opportunity to turn around.
 He willingly let you take control of the kiss for a second, although the impatient twitching of his fingers on your waist didn’t escape you. You ultimately weren’t surprised when he gripped your shoulder tightly and pushed you down onto your knees, the thud of them against the tiles making you wince slightly.
 Men like him were always controlling and had their own questionable ideas about what it meant to be a man.
 “Suck me off,” he demanded, beady eyes sparkling excitedly as you gazed up at him seductively and began unbuckling his belt, working your magic - his eyes were completely locked on you.
 Then came a loud click and you almost laughed at the way his eyes widened when he felt the cold metal of a gun press against the back of his head.
 “Touch her again and you’ll get a bullet through the brain. Now turn around, slowly.”
 The man stared at you for a second longer before slowly turning around to face his assailant, expression souring when he saw who it was.
 “Park fucking Jongseong.”
 “Mr. Kwon,” Jay replied curtly, gun still raised to point directly at the man. He had discarded his suit jacket somewhere along the way and only his crisp white shirt remained, the sleeves rolled up slightly to expose his tanned forearms. His black hair was swept and styled off his face, exposing his forehead and the way one of his sharp eyebrows was quirked.
 Kwon’s face was pale and his eyes flickered nervously down at the pistol for a second, but he quickly narrowed his eyes and forced a sneer.
 “Daddy was too scared to be here so he sends his kid to try and scare me, huh?”
 Jay showed no reaction to the dig, simply staring blankly back at the man and speaking in a monotone voice. “Actually he couldn’t be here because he’s a busy man, far too busy for the likes of scum like you.” One corner of his mouth turned up slightly. “And trust me, Kwon, he sent me here to do a little more than just scare you.”
 The man scoffed, but you noticed the way his fists clenched and unclenched at his sides.
 “Don’t try to play with the adults, son. Everything about this screams mediocre. Rookie.” He shuffled slightly on his feet, smirking and gesturing blindly behind him to where you stood. “What was the plan, get some random slut to lure me home so you could wave your gun in my face and report it back to daddy?”
 Jay’s jaw clenched but before he could open his mouth to respond, you were pressing the steel of your blade up against the man’s neck and peering over his shoulder with a grin as you piped up.
 “I don’t know, some would say it’s a rookie mistake for a man of your stature to end up alone in his own home, a man years your junior pointing a gun at you and a random slut behind you holding a knife to your neck.”
 Jay snorted from where he stood and when Kwon opened his mouth to respond, you pressed the steel a little harder against his skin, tiny beads of blood lining the skin.
 “Less of the back talk and more listening to Mr. Park here,” you uttered, leaning in to murmur into his ear in a parody of the way you had earlier in the club. “One wrong word and I’ll slit your fucking throat,” you sing-songed sweetly, and Jay smirked at you appreciatively.
 Kwon’s face flushed red with anger and embarrassment but he didn’t move, and Jay continued, lowering his gun now that you had covered the bases and sticking one hand casually into the pocket of his dress pants.
 “You see, Kwon, if you had committed a minor infraction maybe I’d just be here to scare you, shake you up a little. But you didn’t just commit a minor infraction, did you?”
 He rested back on his heels and examined his pistol while talking, looking almost like a child with a shiny new toy. “No, you decided it’d be a good idea to move onto our turf without permission and use it for your own dealings. My father is a reasonable man - if you had asked permission, maybe promised him a cut of the income for the generosity of letting you operate on his turf, maybe things would be different. But here we are.”
 He paused for a second and looked up at the man again. “Insolent brats must be made an example of, I’m sure you know that.”
 He aimed his gun at one of Kwon’s shiny dress shoes and pulled the trigger, blowing a bloody red hole clean through it.
 The man howled in pain, and you would have been worried about neighbours hearing had you been anywhere else. As a criminal himself, his apartment resided on a solitary floor, free of prying eyes and equipped with soundproof walls for the man’s own less-than-legal activities.
 By welcoming you in, he had practically removed his armour and guided the killing blow to his heart all by himself.
 Despite the agonising pain, Kwon stayed standing upright as much as possible with your blade still pressing against his neck, although involuntary tears streamed down his cheeks and his veins popped out under his skin from the strain, breath released from his nose in harsh puffs.
 Ignoring the intense pain the man was in, Jay turned and began pacing from side to side in front of you both, composed as ever.
 “So there’s that. If we send you back with a hole in your foot I think that sends a pretty clear message, don’t you? That that’s what happens when you double-cross the Parks. Should keep all your men in line from now on.”
 The pacing stopped and he faced Kwon again, face hardening and eyes darkening. “But that’s
not all, is it?”
 Beneath your grip, you felt the man begin to tremble, sweat beading at his temples and trickling down slowly.
 “You see, for some unknown reason that I’m actually quite interested to find out, you decided to act out even more, Kwon. Because my father sent some of his men to your establishment to warn you off, didn’t he? And what did you do?”
 The man stayed silent, and Jay moved to step on his injured foot, pressing down onto the wound until the man screamed and watching with blazing eyes.
 “I asked you a question. What did you do?”
 “I k-killed them!” the man stammered out, and Jay removed the pressure from his foot.
 “See? It’s not that hard to do as you’re told, Kwon,” he smiled coldly, and the man whimpered. “Now, remind me, since I’m sure you haven’t forgotten - it was you who did it, after all. Those fine men that my father sent, simply to negotiate and give you the benefit of the doubt - how did you kill them?”
 Kwon swallowed thickly. “I shot them.”
 “Where?” demanded Jay.
 “I-in the head.”
 “You shot them in the head,” repeated Jay bitterly, sneer curling his lips. “You held a gun to their heads and shot that bullet straight through their skull, clean through. Splattered their brains right across the wall, from what my father heard. Did you enjoy it?”
 Kwon remained quiet, but his silence spoke volumes.
 Jay raised his gun again, placing the barrel right in the centre of Kwon’s forehead, and quirked one corner of his lips once again.
 “Because I’m about to enjoy the same, for sure.”
 “No, p-please, don’t do this, I’ll do anything!” Kwon shouted, voice rising in his panic. “Whatever it takes to make it up to your father, I’ll do it! I’ll kneel at his feet, pledge my allegiance, I’ll give him all of my profits, please!”
 Jay’s smirk ironed out again and he glanced at you, raising his eyebrows for a split second. You slowly removed your blade from Kwon’s neck and dropped to your knees again, crouching out of the way unbeknownst to the panicking man in front of you.
 “You should have thought about that before you fucked with my family.”
 With a bang a bullet ripped through Kwon’s head, ringing in the air above your body and slamming into the thick wood of the apartment door where it got lodged. You closed your eyes as a splatter of blood sprayed across your face and shuffled out of the way just before the man’s body fell to the floor, eyes wide and unseeing as they stared up towards the ceiling.
 Tucking your knife back into the strap on your thigh, you stood up and took Jay’s hand as he helped you step over Kwon’s body, avoiding the blood that pooled on the floor and kept on spreading. 
 He placed a hand on your waist and looked you up and down, brows furrowed. “All good, babe?”
 You nodded curtly and smiled up at him. “Yeah, you?”
 He smiled back and nodded too. “Peachy keen.” He turned and walked into another room of the apartment, you following him curiously and watching as he grabbed his suit jacket from where he had draped it over a chair, pulling it on and tucking his gun into the inside pocket while you snorted.
 “Made yourself at home while I did all the dirty work?” you teased, and his eyes flickered towards you amusedly.
 “I’m the one that killed him, aren’t I?”
 You pouted petulantly and crossed your arms. “Only because you told me I wasn’t allowed.”
 Jay moved to stand in front of you and booped your nose. “Because someone gets a little too messy and makes the cleanup more difficult - Sunghoon complained about it for a solid week.”
 “Sunghoon is just a grump,” you huffed before wrinkling your nose. “Besides, nothing is messier than what I had to deal with - Kwon kisses like a damn fish.”
 Jay winced. “Okay, maybe you did do the dirty work,” he muttered, following you as you walked down the corridor again and stepped over the body, opening the apartment door to step into the hallway.
 He turned to meet Sunghoon and Jake who had been stationed outside as soon as you and Kwon had closed the door earlier.
 “Job’s all done, fucker is dead. Make sure to take a picture and send it to my dad before you clean up and get rid of him.”
 “Aye aye, captain!” Jake chirped with a smile far too bright for someone who was about to dispose of a dead body. Sunghoon just nodded silently, pulling on his rubber gloves and disappearing into the apartment with the slightly shorter boy.
 You followed Jay hand in hand to the elevator and out to the front of the building, where a sleek back SUV waited. He walked ahead and opened the back door, letting you slide in before joining you and nodding at the driver, who nodded back and pulled out onto the road.
 You moved over in the backseat and slid into Jay’s lap, straddling him and wrapping your arms around his neck. He smiled and rested his hands on your waist, squeezing gently.
 “Missed you,” you murmured and leaned into him, and he laughed.
 “You’re getting blood on my shirt, baby,” he chuckled, and you remembered the blood smeared across your face. You pulled back and smirked.
 “Well when there’s blood on your baby you’re just gonna have to deal with it, aren’t you? Besides, wouldn’t be the first time.”
 Jay nodded and shrugged at that, leaning in to capture your lips in his. You kissed him back happily, placing your hands on his cheeks and sliding your fingers down along his chiseled jawline, admiring his features.
 When he began placing kisses down your neck and chest, you took the opportunity to speak again.
 “I hated having him touching me. Had to imagine it was you just so I wouldn’t sock him in the face.”
 Jay hummed at that and looked up at you. “What, no one gets you off like me?”
 You rolled your eyes. “You already know that. Anyway, definitely not a creep like him.”
 “Obviously we knew it would work which is why we did it, but it’s funny to me that he thought you were actually interested in him,” Jay mused. “An old bastard like him getting a gorgeous, sexy woman like you?”
 He leaned in closer. “The thought of anyone else having you bothers me. You’re mine.”
 He surged in and began biting and sucking at your neck, making you moan and tilt your head back for him. You saw the driver’s eyes flickering over to you through the rear view mirror for a second but you didn’t care, getting lost in the scent of Jay’s expensive cologne and the feeling of his plush lips against your skin.
 “Yours, I’m yours,” you murmured, making his grip on your waist tighten. You moved him away from your neck so you could kiss him again, pushing your tongue into his mouth and reveling in the way his lips parted instantly, granting you access and letting you take exactly what you needed.
 “Wanna suck you off,” you muttered in between kisses, and he groaned appreciatively.
 “If there’s an afterlife I hope that Kwon is seeing this right now,” Jay quipped and you giggled, dropping down between his legs and looking up wantonly while unbuckling his belt and taking out his half-hard member.
 “Then he’d know I belong to you, sir,” you preened before licking up the underside of his cock, making him groan and throw his head back.
 “Close the partition,” he called to the driver, who immediately raised it without a word. Meanwhile, you took the head of his cock into your mouth and began sucking it eagerly, making sure to look up all the while and catch his reactions.
 You gave his length another few licks before letting a glob of saliva drip from your mouth onto the head, using one hand to spread it before sinking down onto his cock as far as your mouth could take and beginning to bob up and down.
 You flattened your tongue along the underside of Jay’s length and hollowed your cheeks as much as you could, making him moan at the warm tightness of your mouth and grip your hair, tugging it slightly. The twinge of your scalp made you hum, the vibrations going straight to Jay’s cock and making him buck his hips up slightly.
 You spluttered a little as his cock hit the back of your throat and he watched closely as your eyes watered, tears gathering at the corners. You quickly composed yourself and kept going, using one hand to pump the base of his cock that your mouth wasn’t reaching. You could feel him twitching inside your mouth and you smiled, pulling off and pumping him with your hand with a string of saliva still connecting his member to your bottom lip.
 “Am I making you feel good, sir?”
 “So fucking good, princess,” he rasped out, hand stroking your hair and smiling when you leaned into the touch. “Come back up here, baby.”
 You climbed back up onto his lap and settled there, gasping when his hand snaked under your dress and grazed over your panties, applying pressure exactly where your clit was. You whined a little and shifted your hips to grind down onto his hand, making him laugh.
 “You did such a good job tonight, princess, and that deserves a reward.”
 You nodded silently and kept grinding down on Jay’s fingers, mouth falling open into a silent moan as you reveled in the warm pleasure pooling in your gut.
 Jay moved his fingers after a second, taking a hold of your panties and moving them to the side so he could touch you directly, running his fingers through your folds and feeling the wetness there.
 “So wet. Is that all for me?” he murmured and you nodded again.
 “Y-yes, sir, all for you. Want you to fuck me.”
 At your words he slipped two fingers inside your pussy, stretching your entrance and thrusting into you slowly. The slight burn made you shiver, and when he began to curl his fingers deep inside you in search of your sweet spot your gasps and whines fell out of your mouth uncontrollably.
 He knew he had found it when you clenched around him and dropped your head into his neck with a loud moan, making him grin.
 “There it is. Falling apart already and all I’m doing is finger fucking you.”
 You whined and nodded again.
 “Gonna fuck you properly when we get back to my place. Gonna split you open on my cock and fuck you til you’re screaming.”
 “Yes, please, fuck-” you gasped, clenching around his digits harder at the filthy words he murmured into your ear.
 The car soon came to a stop and he pulled his fingers out of you, bringing them up to his mouth and sucking your arousal off of them while you watched, mesmerized. He then gave your ass one last squeeze before moving you off his lap and towards the door, tucking himself back into his trousers. “C’mon.”
 You followed him out of the car, clutching his hand as he pulled you towards the elevator, the receptionist of the building not even glancing up as you both stormed past.
 The elevator ride up to the top floor where Jay’s penthouse resided consisted of your tongues battling for dominance, your legs wrapped around Jay’s waist and back pressed to the mirrored elevator wall while he grinded his clothed cock against your core.
 When the doors opened he carried you to the apartment door, unlocking it with one hand while his lips attacked your neck and you grabbed tightly onto his biceps.
 He carried you inside, kicking the door closed behind him and beelining for the bedroom where he threw you onto the bed, standing in front of you.
 “That dress is pretty, angel, but I’d prefer to see it off you.”
 Wordlessly you obediently reached behind you and unzipped your dress, standing to let it fall from your shoulders and pool at your feet leaving you only in your underwear - a lacy white bra and panties set.
 Jay’s dark eyes devoured you like a bird of prey, bringing his hands up to your waist and running them over your sides so you shivered.
 “So fuckin’ beautiful.”
 His eyes travelled downwards and lit up slightly before he reached out and touched your knife that was still strapped to your thigh, sliding it out from the leather holster strap and admiring it.
 “Baby’s pretty blade,” he muttered, turning it over in his hands and admiring the ornate handle. “It barely got any use tonight,” he commented with a frown, before raising his eyes to meet yours.
 “Still a tiny bit, though. Drew a few drops of blood.” He reached out until the blade was in front of your lips and smiled darkly. “Lick it clean, baby.”
 Your breath hitched and you opened your mouth, running your tongue carefully along the steel with Jay watching your every move. He gently moved the knife further into your mouth, pressing the flat of it against your tongue and watching in fascination as your saliva pooled around it, your chest rising and falling with how turned on you were.
 Eventually he removed it carefully, placing it against your chest so that the sharp side faced away from you and gliding it lightly over your torso, just the ghost of a touch but still giving you goosebumps. He dragged it down your stomach, careful not to scratch your skin at all, before slipping it carefully beneath your panties and pulling it upwards so the material was cut away from you.
 “Won’t be needing these,” he muttered, placing the knife down out of reach on the bedside table and removing the ruined material of your panties before pushing you back onto the bed and climbing up between your legs.
 You laid back and watched, breathing shallowly, as he slowly unbuttoned his shirt and pulled it off, exposing the smooth expanse of tanned skin, the lean muscle of his arms flexing ever so slightly as he moved onto his trousers. When he had discarded them too, he crawled up closer to you and caged you in.
 He urged you to arch your back and unhooked your bra, throwing it to the side and leaving you both completely exposed before he lined his cock up with your entrance and pushed in, making you both moan.
 The stretch burned slightly, his cock being girthier than his fingers but filling you in the best way. Knowing from experience that you enjoyed the stretch, Jay wasted no time in bottoming out before gripping your hips and thrusting into you, fast and deep.
 The room was filled with the sound of skin slapping and your breathless moans, lost in pleasure as Jay’s cock perfectly hit that spot inside you with every single thrust. Above you, his perfectly gelled hair had a single strand falling out of place onto his forehead, skin shining with a thin layer of sweat and deep grunts escaping him as he fucked you.
 “Fuck, baby, always feel so good around me, so tight,” he rasped, groaning and squeezing your waist tighter when you intentionally clenched your walls around him.
 “And you always fill me up so well,” you replied through gasps, eyes half-lidded and drunk on pleasure. 
 You reached down to grasp one of his hands and moved it to rest on your lower abdomen. “Can you feel that, sir?”
 Feeling the bulge of his cock that you were referring to, Jay stared down at it reverently with his eyebrows furrowed. “Fuck…..”
 Being more turned on than ever, he reached up and grabbed your wrists, pinning them down to the bed and fucking into you at a brutal pace that had you crying out.
 “Shit, baby, look so pretty underneath me like this…. I could fuck you forever.”
 “Then don’t stop,” you whispered, gripping at his broad shoulders and digging your nails into the skin slightly.
 In response Jay leaned down and pressed kisses to your neck again, eventually staying there with his mouth open and his hot breath panting against your skin as he moaned in pleasure.
 “N-not gonna last much longer, want me to cum inside you? Fill you up?”
 “Yes, please,” you whined, clenching around him again and hooking your ankles together to pull him deeper inside you. You cried out again when you felt one of Jay’s hands reaching down between you both to rub harsh circles into your clit.
 “Want us to cum together,” he explained, and you nodded wordlessly.
 It didn’t take much more for you both to reach your highs, the room aflood with your combined moans and utterings, a mixture of curses and encouragement.
 When you came down from your intense orgasm that had your toes curling, you threw your head back against the bed and felt Jay flopping down beside you a second later, his warm cum trickling down between your thighs.
 You stayed in silence for a few minutes, catching your breath, before he wordlessly turned to you and pulled you in for a deep kiss, cupping your cheek and stroking it with his thumb. You melted into the touch and ran your fingers through his soft hair, enjoying the closeness.
 When the kiss ended he nuzzled his nose into yours and looked at you with a softness that had you blushing.
 “Well if every job ended like that I’d be a much happier man.”
 You giggled and bit your lip. “Yeah, me too.”
 You pushed yourself up slowly, stretching your arms above your head and feeling his eyes on you as you did. You stood up carefully, trying not to get any more cum on the sheets, and padded across the room towards the bathroom.
 “Y/N?”
 You halted your movements and turned back to look at him, raising your eyebrows questioningly.
 “Hm?”
 His eyes sparkled with that same softness that made you blush and he tilted his chin up confidently.
 “When are you finally gonna let me take you out on a date?”
 You huffed out a laugh and shook your head, smiling. “Maybe soon.”
 It wasn’t like the lifestyle you shared was exactly prime for date nights and romance, but his enthusiasm made your stomach flutter anyway.
 You walked into the bathroom, glancing in the mirror and catching sight of yourself for the first time in hours.
 Your makeup was smudged, lipstick long gone and mascara starting to stain your undereyes. Your neck and décolletage was littered in red and purple marks, bruises and bite marks both. Your inner thighs were coated with drying cum, and your face was still splattered with some droplets of dried blood from the job earlier that night.
 You looked a complete mess, and you loved it.
473 notes · View notes
frogtanii · 6 months ago
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your palms were sweaty as you adjusted your slacks, making sure the pleats were where they should be with not a wrinkle in sight. you wanted to look professional and put together, at least on the outside, because you knew you were actually about .2 seconds away from falling apart.
your palms were sweaty as you adjusted your slacks, making sure the pleats were where they should be with not a wrinkle in sight. you wanted to look professional and put together, at least on the outside, because you knew you were actually about .2 seconds away from falling apart.
a quick glance to the boys at your sides notified you that they weren’t faring much better. atsumu kept fidgeting with his cufflinks, sakusa was so stiff you could knock him over with your pinky, kenma looked like he was about to pass out, bokuto was debating on squeezing under the table in front of you, kuroo was tapping a pattern on his pants (akeelah and the bee style), and akaashi kept reciting ominous poems under his breath.
the only people in the room who looked even remotely fine were osamu, oikawa, sugawara, daichi, and, surprisingly, yachi. osamu was munching on some peanuts that he pulled from... somewhere, while oikawa and sugawara were holding their own conversation by the window. daichi seemed to be minding his own business but you could never really get a proper read on him anyway.
well, you supposed yachi was okay because she knew what to expect. i mean, you were meeting her boss.
after you and kenma had posted your “exposing the hype(r) house” youtube video, an email had come to the both of you, inviting you to visit the “big boss” along with the rest of the crew.
you weren’t necessarily afraid of losing your job; the hype(r) house was already being dissolved and you were (finally!!!) getting to move in with makki and mattsun until you found your own place. you were genuinely excited to put the drama and literal hell behind you and begin to live your life again but...
that didn’t mean meeting the Man™ wasn’t terrifying. it was like being called into the principal’s office, complete with the existential dread and occasional bouts of gassiness.
the door opening made you flinch as you quickly moved out of the way to let the newcomers enter. while they walked past you, you couldn’t contain the shock that overtook your face, your jaw practically on the floor.
the man was massive.
built like a brick wall, the man who you assumed to be the “big boss,” had a chiseled jaw, broad shoulders, and massive fucking pecs, his white button up barely closing around them.
beside him stood a tall, lanky man who was dressed suspiciously un-office-like with a red buzz cut and wild eyes that seemed to cut into you as he took his place at the table.
the final man seemed a bit awkward in comparison to the other two, but he was trying to seem unaffected, his purple bowlcut, despite being rather juvenile, fitting perfectly with his slim but toned build and bright complexion.
yachi hurried to greet them, giving all three a blinding smile before motioning for everyone else to take a seat. you ended up between the redhead and atsumu, the former being way too entertained by just your general being. his eyes rarely, if ever, left your face sending shivers down your spine. the remaining members all hesitantly took their seats and “big boss” began.
“it is an honor to meet you all. i am ushijima wakatoshi but you can call me ushijima or wakatoshi or ushiwaka or toshijima or just ushi or just jima or just waka or just toshi.” for a moment you thought he was joking but his face never moved, not even with the awkward silence that followed. redhead seemed rather amused by the whole display and bowl cut looked like he was on the verge of spontaneously combusting.
it took an uncomfortably long moment for ushijima to proceed but he did as though nothing had happened. “these are my associates, satori—” redhead gave you a mischievous grin “—and tsutomu.”
“goshiki,” bowl cut interrupted, his voice wavering but his eyes gleaming with righteous indignation as though he was challenging wakatoshi to say something in defiance. instead, ushijima just gave him a nod and he visibly deflated back into his seat.
“goshiki is the social media manager for imla and satori is... satori,” big boss continued, not a hint of emotion on his face. the rest of the table perked up at his comment but atsumu was the only one who apparently had the balls to say anything.
“so yer the one who wrote that shitty among us tweet?” goshiki flushed horribly and sunk further into his plush leather chair, his body language showing he must’ve already gotten an earful about it. “thought it was a good idea,” he muttered while averting his eyes, completely ignoring satori’s cackle from across the wood.
ushijima put up a (massive???) hand to calm the both of them and it instantly worked. satori quieted down though he never lost the mirth in his expression and goshiki straightened up, a new wave of determination crossing his features.
you sat up as well, feeling the shift of energy in the room but you were startled to realize the boss had decided to focus his energy on you, his deep baritone voice calling your full name. “i am extremely sorry. we have failed you as a management team and as men. i have failed you.”
he sounded remarkably remorseful, his brown irises conveying heavy emotion and guilt. you had no idea what to say but he wasn’t done.
“although i do not have full control of the decisions that have been made here, i should have fought harder for what i believed was right and for that, i will forever be sorry.” you shifted uncomfortably under his weighty gaze, not that he noticed because his attention was swiftly taken by kenma at the opposite end of the room.
“who is in charge then? aren’t you like the ceo or whatever?” he asked. ushijima took a moment before nodding very slowly, his attention clearly on something in his head.
thankfully, satori rapidly took over the thread of conversation before the room could fall in tense silence yet again. “there’s a board of old, stuffy guys who basically kicked miracle boy wakatoshi to the curb and make all their decisions without him.”
...miracle boy? what did he have to do to earn that kind of nickname? you shook your head and tuned back in, just as the ceo spoke up once again.
“because i have not succeeded in doing my job properly, i have something to give to you,” ushijima deadpanned, sliding a thick envelope towards you. you carefully grabbed it and opened it up to reveal a thick, thick, wad of cash.
a gasp caught in your throat, words not coming to you as you thumbed through the money. there had to be at least $60k in there, your eyes filling with tears while you took in his generosity. “thank you,” you whispered, not trusting your voice to speak any louder.
wakatoshi nodded at you before addressing the rest of the table about something but you weren’t even listening.
you were so overwhelmed. for the longest time, you’d hated whoever management was for ignoring your pleas for help and trying to placate you with nice dresses and fancy dinners so meeting ushijima was quite the welcomed surprise.
despite everything that occurred, you could tell he felt horrible for letting things slide even though it was technically out of his hands and you couldn’t even articulate how much that meant to you.
the fact that he had gone out of his way to pay you extra, assumingly without the permission of the board, was heartwarming, confusing, shocking, and staggering all at once.
i mean, you could probably describe the past few months as exactly that. so much had happened, so much had changed, and while you could do without some of the life adjustments (the nightmares, spare trauma, and fear of public bathrooms to start), you felt blessed with new friends and the experiences that helped shape you to the person you were now.
the boys didn’t hate you anymore (well, not all of them at least and none were actively antagonizing you), you were seeing dr yamada again, you were getting to move in with your two best friends, you were just given enough money to expand your channel drastically, and you were finally feeling good. better than good.
meiko was behind you and though you missed the person she once was, you were so glad she was out of your life in a way where she couldn’t harm you or the boys any longer.
a grin spread across your face, your cheeks nearly burning from the intensity of it. things were definitely looking up.
a soft call of your name jolted you from your thoughts, your eyes landing on all the boys already standing as they got ready to leave the room. you could sense their worry and you shot them a genuine, reassuring smile before standing yourself.
you waved goodbye to the three men at the table, thanking ushijima profusely for his kindness but he shook you off, insisting that he had just been doing what he should’ve done a long time ago.
what a nice guy.
as you followed the boys out of the building, you took a moment to observe them together with fondness written all over your expression. they were laughing and joking around, the happiest and most carefree you had ever seen any of them. bokuto was begging yachi to get them ice cream, the rest of them piling on until she gave in with a playful roll of her eyes, giggling at the cheer that went up from the group.
atsumu seemed to notice you lagging behind, falling back to join you. “ya okay angel?” he asked, eyes focused on your feet as he slowed down to match your pace.
you didn’t answer for a while, instead focusing on the sun warming your cheeks, the cool breeze messing up your hair, and the sounds of pure joy swirling above you.
“i’m absolutely perfect.” you replied and you actually meant it. “race you to the van?” you sent him an impish grin before taking off, his yells of indignation making you laugh freely as the rest of the boys joined in, right on your heels.
this is it, you thought. no matter what, i’ll have this moment and i’ll be okay.
you’d been through hell and back and you’d survived. you’d been cursed at, choked out, hospitalized, and been beaten at mario kart more times than you could count and you had still made it through. you were resilient and strong and you’d never given up, despite how badly you’d wanted to, multiple times over.
things weren’t perfect, they rarely are, but you knew that if you could make it through all that, you could get through practically anything, especially with the boys by your side.
yeah. i’ll be just fine.
ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ
bonus!!
“told you it sounded stupid as hell.”
“gah, stop talking about it!!”
“you sounded sooooo old ‘shiki, what are you, 92?”
“AAAAAAAAAA!!!”
“satori...”
“what’s up miracle boy?”
“...what is ‘sus’?”
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℗ poker face
i’ll be just fine
series masterlist
(●’◡’●)ノ
an - AND THATS A WRAP FOLKS 🥳 wowowow did the ending give me trouble but that’s ok SISJSK the endings will be coming shortly but they might not be daily just cs they may take more time, who knows lmfao i’ll let y’all know :3 AAAA ANYWAYS ILY I HOPE U GUYS LIKED KITH KITH don’t forget to feed me <3
taglist - if your name is in bold, i cannot tag you
@boosyboo9206 • @geektastic84 • @elianetsantana • @trashy-simp • @infinitebells • @6mattsun9 • @suhkusa • @katsulovee • @kotarosbabygirl • @fucktheworlddude • @insomniacwreck • @calumsfringe • @saltylettuce • @chai-blu • @al3x1ss • @hawksyoongi • @jooleuuh • @loubells • @kissungjae • @liberhoe • @tetsurocore • @animeoverdosee • @duhsies • @saiKishaircLip • @afire24 • @premiyagi • @kit-kat428 • @doctorspencereid • @daphnxy • @kyomihann • @maer-333 • @sinoflust19 • @peteunderoos • @peachiikichu • @iidanotlida • @yongboxerrr • @kac-chowsballs • @tanakaslastbraincell • @memorableminds • @risjime • @starry-magicshop • @sugavwara • @smuttyanimeslut • @kiwibirbs-library • @haijkk • @airybnb • @crybabygumi • @iwaisa • @decaffinatedtealover • @notameera • @kawaii-angelanne • @rintarovibes • @urlocalsimp • @keiarma • @shrimpypenis
the rest of the tags will be in the replies!!
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sweetlyscared · 5 months ago
Text
Heaven Can Wait
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Pairing: Soft!Dark! Biker!Steve Rogers x Fem!Reader
Word Count: 10.5k (sorry!!!)
Summary: Forced to work for the leader of the local motorcycle club, you quickly learned no good deed goes unpunished. Biker AU
Warnings: 18+ ONLY, Minors DNI. Noncon (rape), noncon touching, dubcon touching, smut (praise kink, penetrative sex, unprotected sex, innocence kink), violence (drunk bar fights), angst (trauma, hurt/comfort, loss of virginity, rape recovery), angst with a happy ending, references to alcohol and drunk behavior, implied age gap (reader is in her 20s), Steve being a complete asshole at first.
Note: This is my final submission for @stargazingfangirl18 's 5k Soft Dark Challenge. I posted this idea and she seemed to like it, so now it is a reality! Siri, I hope you like this! Congrats again for the 5k ruin panties! Here's to 5k more!
I used the following prompts: You catch the eye of someone dangerous, “This far out, no one will hear you scream,” praise kink, bad boy kink.
Thank you to @river-soul who gave me the title for this fic!
My Masterlist
---
Murky grey water stained your fingernails and pooled in the pruney divots of your cramped hands. It had taken a few hours to scrub the layers of grime off the floor, but you were nearly done. Of course, nothing in your life was ever easy. You couldn’t even celebrate something as small as a finished chore when Steve walked down the hall, his mud caked boots ruining hours of work.
“The boys are coming by later,” Steve grumbled without even looking at you and slammed the front door behind him.
You have a soft heart, and that’s not always a good thing, your mother once told you when you were a child. A litter of kittens was born near your house, but it appeared they’d been abandoned far too young. With no idea how to care of them, they died, and you spent the afternoon crying in your mother’s arms as she consoled you as best she could.
Her words echoed in your head, and they were never more true.
You held back tears as you tossed the scrubber into the bucket of dirty water and sat down, giving your tired knees a break.
Luck was rarely on your side, much less so when you happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time several weeks before.
Housekeeping at a small motel wasn’t the most glamorous job, but it paid well enough to support you while you took online classes at one of the community colleges in the city. The motel was also a ten minute walk from the rundown apartment you shared with a roommate. It wasn’t the best side of town, but you didn’t have a car and the walk wasn’t long. Still, nights were always more tense, and when you heard an anguished groan coming from a drug store parking lot, you regretted not accepting a ride home from the janitor.
Two men were fighting, but it was difficult to see. The only sources of light came from the flickering orange glow of the street lamp and the sickly green light from the store. Still, you could see enough. One of the men was about your age, and despite his smaller stature, you saw him pummel the other man into a bloody mess.
You gasped, and the assailant looked at you with wide eyes. For a man who nearly killed someone else with his bare fists, there was something guileless about him. It threw you off. So much so, you weren’t prepared for the tidal wave of misfortunes headed directly towards you.
The first misfortune was seeing that harmless looking boyish face. Next, when the police arrived, they asked for a statement, which you gave.
It was just dark enough in the parking lot that you didn’t notice the patches that adorned the man’s jacket, or else you would have kept your mouth shut.
When the victim regained consciousness, he pressed charges, and you were asked to testify. You did.
It was the right thing to do.
You didn’t realize you hadn’t just poked the hornet’s nest; you set it on fire.
Peter Parker was the youngest member of the Avengers, a branch of the notorious biker club that ran along these parts.
It was always ambiguous what they did, but it wasn’t on the right side of the law, and people knew to stay out of their business. Regardless, they had money, and their lawyer, Andy Barber, was one of the best. Peter was let go on a technicality and the case never went to trial.
Shortly after the whole ordeal was dismissed, the chaos started.
It was tolerable at first. A random call in the middle of the night, a note left for you at work with a scribbled message telling you to watch out. Other than restless nights, you went by unharmed-- no one had approached you, and no one had hurt those around you.
Things only escalated from there.
The motel you worked at was robbed with a crude ‘A’ carved into the front desk, the Avengers’ calling card. It wasn’t a secret why they were targeting you, so your manager fired you if only to protect himself and his staff.
The police either didn’t know what to do or were paid for their indifference; any attempts at contacting them were met with harrowing silence.
Days were drawn out as you applied for jobs with no success and were running on nearly no energy from stress and lack of sleep.
The vague threats stopped for a week, and you hoped they got bored of terrorizing you.
No such compassion was sent your way.
You came home from a promising job interview, but you didn’t even need to enter the apartment to know whatever game they were playing wasn’t going to stop.
The front door was kicked in, the frame splintered where the latch tore through. Glass from the shattered windows and wood chips littered the floor.
Dread almost made you leave, not wanting to see the inside of the apartment. But you had no choice, and upon walking through the door, you gasped. Bookshelves were upturned, furniture destroyed, personal possessions broken and scattered about.
Your room was in a similar state-- broken picture frames, ripped up clothes and bedding. Luckily, your roommate’s bedroom was unscathed. You were relieved initially, but blanched when the implication sank in.
They knew which room was yours.
“You just had to fucking say something,” your roommate hissed when she came home to red and blue lights bouncing off the apartment complex. She cried when she saw the state of the living room.
“Danielle, I-” you started.
“Save it. Just get the fuck out.”
Not wanting to cause her any more grief, you nodded and left. Staying with anyone you knew would mean risking their safety, and you couldn’t do that. You didn’t have much in your savings, but you sold what little possessions you had left and stayed in a motel on the other side of town.
You prayed they’d lose interest.
A rock was thrown through the motel window, shattering the glass and your hopes for any peace. You woke up with a jolt, ice running through your veins, heart racing.
The rock had a note tied to it.
Scribbled across the folded paper was an address. Your sister’s. She lived in the city-- close enough to harm if they so wished.
Panicked, you ran out of the motel room and winced when you felt a shard of glass embed itself into your foot.
Standing outside was a man, and you realized just how hollow any hope of escape truly was. You never stood a chance.
The blinding light of the motorcycle headlight obscured his features, but you knew who he was.
Steve Rogers, leader of the Avengers.
“What do you want from me,” you asked, voice raspy from the weeks of accumulated anxiety.
“I have a deal for you. You work for me, and we’ll leave that sweet sister of yours alone.”
“And if I don’t accept?”
“She wouldn’t be the first person I killed.”
His eyes were cold. Empty.
At least he gave you the illusion of choice.
You were terrified of him at first, but he largely ignored you as long as you stayed out of his way. It was easy to fall into a predictable, if not lonely routine.
Steve made you his housekeeper and “let” you stay in the small guest room as payment for your work, leaving you entirely financially dependent on him.
His house was old but rather far from the other houses from his street. Prior to you working there, it was a complete mess-- empty liquor bottles and various food wrappers strewn about, scuff marks and dirt caked floors, layers of dust on unused surfaces.
It was a stark contrast to his bedroom, which was remarkably organized-- bed always made, the few mementos he had were always perfectly in place. Even his clothes were neatly folded or hung. You didn’t understand the discrepancy until he and the rest of the Avengers stumbled in, piss drunk after their usual bar closed for the night. They tossed beer cans on the floor, yelled at each other, and moved about with little regard for both the house and for themselves until they passed out and left the next morning or afternoon.
It took you a week alone to get the rest of the house in order, if only because every other day, the core group of his gang would come in to undo a lot of your progress.
And if things got too easy for you, Steve made work for you.
With a heavy sigh, you moved the bucket to the trail of muddy footprints and got started cleaning again.
***
The air from the dryer enveloped you in comforting warmth as you unloaded the last load of laundry for the evening. You looked forward to calling it early for the night. Maybe you’d study for your upcoming literature exam.
Of course, Steve never made things easy for you, and as you were folding the last few shirts, the front door opened with enough force to shake the house.
You inwardly groaned.
It wasn’t too late into the evening, and you only heard one set of footprints, so maybe Steve was alone. You also hadn’t heard his motorcycle or any others, so Sam must’ve dropped him off with his truck. He’d do that occasionally.
You quickly folded the last bit of laundry when he stumbled past you, holding a half empty bottle of whiskey.
You didn’t know if he could make it up the stairs and rushed out to help him, draping one of his heavy arms across your shoulders.
“What are you doing?” He grumbled and shot you a mildly irritated look when he noticed you.
“Helping you up,” you strained when he put more of his weight on you, as if to prove a point. You could barely hear his dark chuckle but you certainly felt the deep vibrations from his chest. He simply moved his arm off your shoulder and continued walking up with relative ease.
“S’not the first time I’ve been drunk, girl.”
Sighing a little, you grabbed the basket of folded laundry, and followed him up. You wanted to put away his clothes and be done with the day.
The bed creaked when Steve sat down to untie his boots. He peered at you curiously when you set the basket on the opposite end. Once his boots were off, you grabbed them and headed towards his closet.
“Left side-”
“Bottom row,” you murmured.
“Observant little thing, aren’t you,” he said after another swig of whiskey.
“You’re just very consistent and organized. At least, in your room,” you froze after saying the last part, unsure whether or not he’d take umbrage with your words.
The laugh that followed was even more unnerving.
“Fair enough,” he said and placed the bottle on the nightstand with a thud. “Got tired of cleaning up after the others.”
“I feel like there were easier ways to hire a maid,” you sighed and retrieved the basket, gauging his response. He only smirked at you, oddly playful, and you wondered if he was always so easy going when he was drunk.
Without another word, Steve began to shed the worn leather jacket followed by the tight white shirt he wore underneath, and you immediately focused your gaze on the floor, missing the amused gleam in his eyes at your apparent bashfulness. You hoped he couldn’t feel the heat that bloomed across your skin at the sliver of his stomach you managed to see before looking away. While you could assume Steve was built based on stature alone, you weren’t prepared to see the cords and bundles of muscles that framed his body.
Slowly, you put his clothes away, trying to ignore him as best you could. He would probably pass out soon and with any luck, he’d forget about the whole interaction.
“Easier, sure, but this is so much more fun,” you heard him whisper in your ear, his hot breath tickling your ear, and you shrieked in surprise.
The house was old and creaky. How a large man like himself managed to walk across the aging wooden floorboards, drunk out of his mind without making a single sound was impressive, though you were too shocked to really dwell on it.
Instinctually, you moved away from the direction of his voice but a strong arm wrapped around your waist and turned you so you could face him. The movement threw you off so you placed your hands on his chest to steady yourself, immediately removing them when you felt taught muscle and coarse hair beneath your palms.
His blue eyes peered at you inquisitive, searching. You felt like you were burning under his gaze.
“You’re a pretty thing, aren’t you,” he nearly whispered as the hand splayed on your lower back wandered to your side where he ran it up your body slowly, just narrowly missing your breast. You could smell the whiskey on his breath which mingled with the scent of leather and wood that always seemed to follow him.
“Steve…” you nearly whimpered.
“You know, when the kid told me some idiot was ballsy enough to press charges and some bigger idiot was even more ballsy to corroborate the story, I was expecting some dumbass suburban soccer mom who didn’t know any better. Woulda been easy enough to scare off,” Steve hummed the last part and his hand rested on your neck, teasing your pulse point with a rough thumb.
“I was surprised to see you at first. Oh so sweet, oh so naive,” he cupped your face where stroked the ball of your cheek with alarming gentleness. “Made sense though. You probably didn’t even know what you were getting into.”
“I didn’t,” you said so softly, as though you were afraid any loud noises would set him off.
He held your gaze a little longer, before laughing a little, the smirk on his lips never quite reaching his eyes. He let you go and returned to his bed where he grabbed his jacket.
“Leave the rest of the laundry here. I can put it away.”
You nodded and quickly left his room.
Things changed slightly from there. While Steve wasn’t necessarily nicer to you, something difficult to gauge to begin with given how little he interacted with you prior, he did stop making messes just for you to clean up. It was a small olive branch, but one that made living with him less hostile. With that, you weren’t as skittish being seen, and you had more time to get to know both him and his friends.
They’d congregate at Steve’s place at all hours of the day or night, watching a football game, shouting over each other, and other drunken nonsense. You mostly stayed away, but one night, Steve asked you to bring him a beer when you walked by to do the laundry, and from there, they often asked you to do the same.
They weren’t awful otherwise. None of them tried to touch you, and some were even polite.
Bucky was Steve’s best friend and practically his brother. He was relatively mild mannered though snippy at times, especially towards Sam, another close friend. Sam was charming and treated you like a person. On a Sunday afternoon, you were removing bottle caps from several beers when he saw you and offered to help.
“Steve’s not that bad, he… he’s been through a lot,” he told you as he gathered a few bottles.
“He threatened to kill my sister,” you murmured.
Sam sighed, “yeah he doesn’t always mean what he says.”
Occasionally, you’d see Thor, a surprisingly boisterous man with a thundering laugh who always thanked you when you’d hand him a cold beer.
Then there was Peter.
You avoided Peter at all costs at first, unsure if he held a grudge. But in time, it seemed like he was by far the most docile out of the group.
“Sorry about… this whole thing. I wanted to drop it but Steve wasn’t having it,” he sheepishly told you when he cornered you one evening.
“Oh, uh, it's okay,” you sputtered out, not trusting him initially.
Over the weeks, he proved himself to be genuine in his original statement, being the only one who went out of his way to keep you company.
“Who are the new guys?” You asked Peter one night. As usual, the main gang stumbled in drunk-- Bucky, Sam, Thor, and Peter. But with them were two faces you hadn’t seen before.
“Rumlow and Rollins,” Peter scoffed. “I’d stay away from those two.”
“They’re not your friends?”
“Nah, they’re from a different club. We’re mostly friendly with one another and our territory overlaps a little so it’s best to keep the peace.”
“What makes them so bad?”
“I just don’t trust ‘em is all,” Peter mumbled.
You weren’t about to argue with him and stayed even more out of the way when they were over, though it was inevitable they’d find you.
“Oh what have we here?” You heard a voice call behind you as you transferred a load of laundry from the washer to the dryer. You jumped a little at the sudden sound and looked over your shoulder where Rumlow leaned against the doorframe. “You must be the help Steve mentioned a while back,” he mused.
He took a step forward and you took one back, trying to keep as much distance between you as was possible. Unfortunately, the laundry room was little more than a storage closet and your back hit the wall, coaxing a small whimper out of you. You didn’t fail to notice how the sound seemed to light up his eyes in viscous curiosity.
“I gotta say, I wasn't expecting you to be so… cute.” He did little to hide the contempt in his voice.
He made no effort to hide how he purposefully dragged his eyes over your body. You wore practical clothes-- leggings and loose shirts or sweaters. It didn’t seem to stop him from appreciating what he could see anyway.
“Gotta hand it to you, it was kinda brave to stand up against one of Steve’s,” Rumlow continued to get closer.
“She didn’t know who we were.” You heard Peter and sighed with relief. Rumlow turned around. “Come on, leave her alone, she’s just trying to work.”
“You sweet on her?” Rumlow smirked.
“I just don’t get off scaring girls,” Peter stood his ground but you could see the worried glint in his expression.
Peter was strong. Far stronger than he looked, but Rumlow was seasoned and nearly twice as big.
“Come on, we’re just having fun, right girlie?” Rumlow looked back at you, daring you to object.
“Yeah, it’s okay Peter,” you pleaded quietly, not wanting things to get out of hand.
Rumlow nodded and left the small room, bumping into Peter’s shoulder as he walked past him.
“I hate that man,” Peter mumbled once he was clear. He got closer to make sure you were okay. “He hurt you at all?”
“No, I’m fine,” you assured with a small smile. “Thank you.”
It was a tender moment, something you hadn’t experienced in awhile.
“What’s going on here?”
You heard Steve and your eyes snapped to where he was standing in the hallway.
“Rumlow was being a dick,” Peter said and walked out of the laundry room. “She’s fine though.”
You watched Peter disappear, leaving you with Steve. The look he gave you was difficult to read. His brows were furrowed slightly. While he didn’t look angry, he still looked bothered.
“Is there something wrong?” You asked.
He shook his head, face relaxing into something neutral.
“No, it’s fine,” he sighed and left you alone with your racing thoughts.
***
Steve was in the garage, working on his bike, which gave you time to clean his room. It was almost always immaculately clean, but you still liked to give it a dust over. Gingerly, you brushed the duster over the various surfaces in his room. It was easy since he had so few mementos on display. The only notable thing was a picture frame that was always face down.
You shouldn’t have looked, but curiosity got the best of you and you lifted it up. A photo of a beautiful woman stared back at you. Her eyes were serious but kind, and she carried herself with a measure of confidence, as though she could command a room the moment she walked in.
“Didn’t anyone tell you it’s not polite to snoop around?”
You jumped a little. You figured you’d be able to hear Steve in time to put the photo back, but you could never underestimate how quiet he could be when he tried.
“I’m so sorry,” you quickly put the frame down, making sure to handle it with care. “I was just curious, but that’s no excuse and-”
“Relax, sweetheart,” you heard Steve as he neared you.
You couldn’t relax, not when you still didn’t trust him, and you quickly gathered the duster to leave when he stopped you with a heavy hand on your shoulder.
“Do you drink at all?” He asked.
You looked at him, confused.
“I… not really,” you said.
“Have a glass with me.” He walked out of the room and nodded towards the door for you to follow him.
Frozen in fear, you weren’t sure if this was some ploy. He glanced at you when he saw you hadn’t moved and chuckled slightly.
“I swear, I’m not gonna hurt you.”
You followed him to the living room where he poured some amber liquid into a glass and handed it to you before pouring himself significantly more.
“Sit.”
You did.
“So obedient,” he smirked, almost in something akin to appreciation.
“Is there something wrong?” You asked, trying and failing to sound confident. You only grew more panicked when he sat next to you, the outside of his thighs pressing against yours.
“You really are a skittish little thing,” he mused as he brought the glass to his lips. “Drink.”
You remained quiet, not sure how to react, so you took a sip from your cup. You winced as the liquor burned your throat. Wanting to get away sooner, you downed the entire thing with a wince.
“The boys think I’m going too hard on you,” Steve mumbled after swallowing a good swig of whiskey. “Peter especially, but the kid’s got a soft heart.”
“He doesn’t seem like he’d be in this world,” you said, starting to feel lightheaded.
“And what world does he fit into?”
“Something nicer.”
Steve didn’t respond and you were afraid you upset him. Before you could look over, you felt calloused knuckles brush your cheek and you jumped a little.
“So sweet,” Steve murmured.
Heat bloomed under the skin on your face at the comment.
“Would you have really killed my sister if I didn’t come with you?” You sputtered out, wanting the silence to end. Perhaps that was the wrong question to ask, but it had been weighing on your mind since your small conversation with Sam. The liquor wasn’t helping you make better choices, either.
Steve smirked a little, lazy, amused.
“No.”
“So were you lying about killing anyone?”
Steve sighed and poured himself more whiskey before grabbing your glass and giving you a little as well.
“No, I’ve done that,” his voice was low, quiet. “Did a couple tours overseas,” he said. “Former military. Army.”
Steve’s not that bad, he’s been through a lot, Sam’s words echoed through your head.
“I’m sorry,” you said quietly.
“It’s where Bucky and I met Sam, so it wasn’t completely bad.”
“You knew Bucky before?”
“I've known him since we were kids.”
You nodded but didn’t say anything else. You wanted to ask about the woman in the picture, but given you’d never seen her around, you had to assume something bad happened.
“Peggy,” he said as if reading your mind.
“What?”
“The photo. Her name is Peggy. She was my fiance.”
You could hear the longing in his voice and the pain woven through it.
“What happened?” You asked. “You don’t have to say, not if you don’t want to,” you quickly added on.
He glanced at you, his eyes soft. You weren’t used to seeing him so vulnerable. It made the rough outlines of his face disappear, and he looked wildly different, younger almost.
“Got shipped overseas. Saw things no one should have to see, did things no one should have to do. I came back and I wasn’t the same,” he sighed. “I got angry a lot, didn’t want to get help for it, drank myself away.”
As if to prove a point, Steve finished his glass and grabbed yours, which had remained untouched since he poured you another drink. He drank that too. He placed both glasses on the coffee table.
“If you think I drink a lot now, I cut back considerably. Didn’t do that until after she left though. She couldn’t take it anymore. Couldn’t watch me destroy myself.”
“Is there any way you could rekindle things?” You asked.
“No. She’s moved on. Has a nice little family now. I’d be an ass if I came in and ruined all that. ‘Sides, I’m not much better than I was before.”
“I’m sorry,” you offered after a small pause.
“It’s not your fault,” he mused. “But thanks for sharing a drink with me.”
He left the glasses on the coffee table and walked upstairs to his bedroom.
***
After that night, Steve seemed to teeter on the edge of being kind and cold.
There were soft moments, where he’d help you fold laundry or dry dishes as you washed them, asking you questions about yourself-- what was your childhood like, do you have any dreams about where you’d like to go in life, what sort of music you liked.
“You wanted to be a dentist?” He nearly laughed, leaning against the counter as you wiped it down. “What kind of kid wants to be a dentist?”
“I dunno, I always liked teeth, I guess,” you shrugged.
He shot you a perplexed look before shaking his head in amused disbelief.
“What changed your mind?”
“I hate spit,” you smiled.
“Yeah, I guess that would be a complication there.”
Comfortable silence filled the space, something you appreciated about him. If he had nothing to say, he didn’t try to make noise for the sake of it.
“What about you?” You inquired. “What did you want to be when you were a kid.”
“A soldier,” he said with no hesitation, but there was a hint of something melancholic in his voice.
“Oh.” You knew how that story ended. “Did you want to do anything after?”
He thought for a moment.
“I don’t know,” he said but you weren’t convinced. You didn’t pressure him, though, and just enjoyed the silent understanding between you two.
In time, you realized he longed for a life where he could just settle down, but his self-destructive tendencies would never allow it.
You used to avoid him when he came home from doing God knows what, but after seeing him wash a rather deep cut in the kitchen sink, you helped patch him up. Afterwards, he’d ask for your help if he saw you, but never bothered you if you weren’t around.
So you began to greet him when he came home.
There was something oddly domestic about the whole arrangement.
He touched you more, too. At first, it was a hand on your shoulder as he passed by, cupping your face as you tended to his wounds. But when he was drunk, he’d occasionally press you against the wall, his hands on your hips, his lips ghosting over yours, tempted but never indulging himself.
Rounded eyes would trace his features, and you could hear the low growl rumbling from his chest as he did the same. If he wanted to do more, you would have let him. He never did.
But then there was the coldness.
You never knew what sparked his moods and compelled him to be so distant, but there were days where he wanted nothing to do with you. He’d ignore you when you’d ask about his day, dismiss you if you tried to help him.
In time, you learned how to navigate him, though the constant changes kept you on edge. Still, he planted a seed of longing within you in the way he’d look at you, like you were something precious to him. It made you feel wanted.
Part of you knew it was foolish to believe Steve would ever want you beyond curious lust. You were never more convinced than when you heard the loud bang of his motorcycle falling onto the dirt driveway.
The noise brought you to the living room, where you saw him as he stumbled onto the couch. Even drunk and swaying, he still managed to look intimidating.
He'd come home tipsy many times, but never as drunk as he was, and he’d never driven himself home-- Sam or Bucky usually gave him a ride those nights.
But you knew what today was. It was the anniversary of the day he and Peggy got engaged.
He hardly acknowledged you as you began to assess any damage, prodding at his body to feel for tender spots. How he’d managed to ride a motorcycle home without hurting himself or others was beyond you.
“Steve, you can’t drive while drunk,” you sighed when you found he was unscathed.
“Why do you care?” He murmured, whiskey heavy eyes lazily looking at you.
“Because I do, and this isn’t good for you. Or anyone.”
“You know all about good, don’t you?”
Ignoring his comment, you went to unlace his boots, if only to make him more comfortable.
“So good,” he nealy slurred. “Too good for me.”
All too suddenly, Steve grabbed you and pulled you into his lap where your knees were planted on both sides of his hips.
“Steve-” you squeaked when you felt his lips press against yours.
“Fuck, you don’t even know what those doe eyes do to me,” he growled.
You couldn’t stifle a sweet gasp when his hands roamed your body with near hungry desire.
“Bet you never even fucked a man before,” he cupped a breast and your breath hitched. You shook your head and tried to push at his chest.
One of his hands lowered until it brushed against your core, and you let out a strangled moan.
“I don’t know why that does it for me,” he murmured as he continued to stroke you through your leggings. “Never really cared for the innocent ones. Peggy was commanding, could silence a whole room with a single look. I bet you couldn’t even flag down a waiter.”
Pressure boiled in your core, and you stopped trying to push him away when it became apparent he wasn’t going to let you go. Slowly, you started rocking your hips into his hand.
When he noticed you were responding, he moved his other hand under your shirt where he cupped your breast, rolling a nipple between his fingers. You gasped and looked at him. His eyes were closed, concentrated as he brought you closer to release.
A soft moan escaped your lips, and his eyes snapped open, bloodshot and focused on your lust blown gaze.
His hands stopped moving.
You made a sound, mourning the loss of pleasure, and he pulled away, all but shoving you out of his lap. With a thud, you stumbled onto the floor where you pushed yourself back, further from him, trembling.
“Fuck,” he hissed.
“Steve?”
He studied you, a storm in his eyes, and you weren’t quite sure what he was thinking.
“You’re not Peggy. Didn’t know why I thought I could replace her with someone so weak.”
You were stunned at how quickly he’d changed. Tears began to well in your eyes but you were too overwhelmed to get up.
Steve paused for a moment, something flashing in his eyes, before cursing under his breath.
“It ain’t happening again, sorry,” he grumbled and walked away.
As soon as you heard his door slam shut, you ran to your room and sank to the floor.
***
Steve didn’t talk to you after that. It felt like the first couple weeks you started living there, a complete stranger.
The silence was unnerving, and you weren’t sure if he felt uncomfortable because of that night. Wanting to get closure, you approached him as he worked on his bike in the garage. You hoped whatever anger he might have felt was gone, and the man you’d come to know over the weeks would return.
“Steve?” You called out.
He ignored you.
“I just wanted to clear the air about what happened.”
You heard him sigh and he tossed his wrench onto his workbench with a loud clunk.
“Nothing happened,” he nearly sneered at you.
While he could be dismissive before, he was never quite mean about it. The vitriol in his voice had you backing away.
“I haven’t been laid in awhile and you felt easy.”
Your heart dropped, heavy at his confession.
“You were always playing house with me, hovering over me like a puppy. Figured I could fuck you and get it out of my system,” he said while he grabbed a greasy towel and wiped his hands before tossing it at you where you fumbled catching it.
He didn’t look at you when he took a drink from his water bottle.
“I have work to do,” he picked up the wrench.
You stayed away from him after that.
***
A few weeks passed without so much a word from Steve.
Peter noticed the tension. You were sure they all did, given you stayed in your room when they were over.
“Is everything okay?” Peter asked you one day when he managed to see you.
You nodded, but it was apparent he wasn’t convinced. He didn’t press you, though.
***
Steve was out for the night. Based on his mood earlier, you knew he likely wouldn’t be back until the next morning, if not afternoon. You didn’t mind, though. You quite liked having the house to yourself where you didn’t feel his heavy presence looming over you. It gave you time to think and study in peace.
You were deep into making flashcards for your Anthropology class when you heard a noise coming from the garage.
With a sigh, you tossed the index cards onto your bed and went downstairs.
While you knew any kindness or compassion was wasted on him, you still felt compelled to help him when he was lost in a drunken haze. Perhaps that made you a fool. Or perhaps you felt you could bring back the best in him, which definitely made you a fool.
Knowing it was a bad idea, you still wandered to the garage and sighed as you opened the door.
A figure was shuffling around, oblivious to you.
“Steve?” You called.
He turned around and you felt the hairs on your arms and neck raise.
Rumlow stared back at you, viscous gleam in his eyes.
“Oh what do we have here?” He smirked and slowly walked towards you. “Haven’t you heard? Curiosity killed the cat.”
You backed up inside the house and tried to close the door but he wedged himself in the frame before you could.
With too much ease, he shoved you to the floor where you pushed yourself back before trying to run to the front door.
He was on you before you could get into the living room.
“What do you want?” You whimpered when you felt him put more of his weight on you, pressing you into the discolored linoleum kitchen floor.
“I was just gonna steal some cash from the stash Rogers keeps back there. Didn’t think you were home,” he said as he grabbed your wrists, stopping you from trying to push him off. “But now that you’ve seen me…”
“I won’t say anything, just please let me go,” you pleaded.
“Oh kitten, I know you won’t talk,” he hummed before he ripped your shirt down the middle. “Because if you do, I’ll come find you.”
You began to wiggle out of his hold, your breathing hitched, but he had you pinned under him.
“And when I find you, you’ll think back to this moment and realize I was going easy on you.”
You released a high pitched wail as loud as you could muster when he ripped your leggings off.
“Make all the noise you want, kitten. This far out, no one will hear you scream.”
***
Runlow left a few hours ago but you couldn’t peel yourself off the floor. Your gaze was trained on the ceiling above, imagining shapes in the aged paint.
Steve could’ve come back at any moment, and you didn’t want him to find you. With the rest of your strength, you pulled yourself up, wincing at the pain in your limbs and core and trying not to gag at the sticky feeling between your thighs. You limped to the bathroom where you removed your shredded clothes.
Your skin was already starting to discolor, and there were dark splotches along your neck where Rumlow sucked a few bruises and even bit you in several places, some of which drew blood. Your lip was split and you saw the start of what would be a bruised cheekbone.
You didn’t remember the shower, only that you took one until the water ran cold.
You didn’t remember getting into bed either, only that you gathered your tattered clothes and put them in a plastic bag to take to the garbage.
Sleep never came to you that night. You found yourself staring at the window as the dark blue sky eventually turned a deep shade of purple, and then pink.
The nearest drugstore was about a thirty minute walk. You knew it opened early, and you needed Plan B.
So you pulled on fresh clothes-- long sleeves to hide the bruises on your arms, and a scarf to hide your neck. Luckily, it was late autumn, and it wouldn’t look suspicious to be so covered.
Luckily.
You felt a rusted, sardonic laugh bubble from inside you, hoarse from all the screaming. All of this, because you wanted to do the right thing.
The drugstore was the one you witnessed Peter damn near kill another man. You stood in the same place you stood that night, but everything looked different now that your perspective changed.
Peter was a friend now, someone good you could trust. Standing in the very lot that landed you in your predicament, you couldn’t help but wonder if he was actually good, or if he appeared good because the company he kept was worse.
A single lit candle looks like the sun when darkness was all that was known before.
It did little to dwell on it. It did little to dwell on anything.
The house was empty when you came back, but that was for the best.
You took the first dose of the contraceptive, and crawled back into bed.
***
Steve didn’t notice anything out of place when he came home. Despite it being close to noon, he didn’t see you around, but why would he? He made damn sure you’d avoid him.
He never intended to get close to you, never intended to act on any of the things he felt. He couldn’t stop himself though. Your eyes beckoned him in closer with the docile glow that seemed to radiate from you, like a moth to a flame. You emitted warmth, light, and goodness. The dark in him wanted you, and he wasn’t sure if it was because he wanted to bask in your light or snuff it out.
What scared him most was that you wanted him back.
So he stayed away.
But in your naivety, you sought him out and he indulged himself from time to time.
It wasn’t until he nearly fucked you on the couch that he realized he needed to stop. You deserved better, far better than he could ever give you, and he wanted you to see that.
So it wasn’t unusual for you to keep your distance.
But when he didn’t see or hear from you in a few days, he became concerned.
***
Knocking on your door woke you up.
“It’s me,” you heard Peter call.
Or course. Steve wouldn’t care to look for you.
“It’s open,” you said.
Peter walked into the room, but you remained on your bed, turned away from him, knowing the bruise on your cheek and your scabbed lip would cause suspicion.
“Uh, hey. I haven’t seen you around. No one has. You okay?” He asked, cautious in his delivery.
“Yeah, I’m just tired, that's all.”
The desk creaked, and you assumed he leaned against it.
“You can talk to me, you know,” he encouraged.
“I know, I’m just tired though,” you repeated.
You heard Peter grunt softly and he breathed out, ready to leave when you heard him kick something, which toppled over.
“Shit, sorry, I-” When you didn’t hear anything else, you turned and looked.
The small trash bin was on its side, some of its contents spilling onto the floor, one of which was the box of Plan B you had yet to throw away. You hadn’t left your room enough to get to it.
Peter stared at the box, brows furrowed, before he glanced at you. His eyes widened when he saw your face and neck.
“Oh God, what happened?” Peter gasped before ticking his jaw. “Did Steve do that?”
“No!” You said emphatically. “I’m fine… just…”
You tried to hold back the tears but couldn’t.
“Hey, hey hey,” he nearly cooed as he walked towards you but you flinched away and he stopped. “Please, tell me who did that to you?”
You swallowed, but it did nothing for the lump in your throat.
“Rumlow… nearly a week ago,” you whispered.
You glanced at Peter, and the sweet boyish face you’d come to know was replaced with something harsh in his fury. There, that was the man you saw in the parking lot so long ago.
“We gotta tell Steve,” his voice was low, guttural.
“No!” You nearly shouted. “Please don’t tell. I don’t want anyone knowing, just… let it go, please.”
When he didn’t respond, you felt tears stream down your face.
“Please,” you begged.
His face softened at your weeping form, and with no idea how to handle the situation, he reluctantly nodded.
***
Steve and the others were at their usual bar. The place was on the busier side, the regulars scattered about. The occasional clang of pool balls hitting each other rang out, adding to the noise of shouting matches and raucous laughter.
It wasn’t uncommon to see members of different clubs there, some friendly, some not. It was an unspoken rule that the bar was neutral ground, so most kept to themselves or played nice.
So when Steve saw Rumlow approach them, he thought nothing of it.
He didn’t notice the way Peter nearly raised his hackles at the other man.
“Slow night?” Rumlow asked with a lazy smirk.
“Just relaxing,” Bucky said and gulped down his beer.
“Right right,” the other man dismissed. “Say, you gonna watch the game this Sunday?”
No one particularly liked having Rumlow around, but it was beneficial for them to stay friendly, even if it meant putting up with him.
“Yeah, might have some of the boys over,” Steve sighed.
“Kinda miss that cute little maid of yours,” Rumlow chuckled and Steve didn’t like the way he referred to you. There was something sinister in the way he licked his lips.
He was willing to let it go, but Peter nearly launched himself at the older man, landing a hard punch to the jaw.
“Woah what the fuck?” Bucky immediately got up and pulled him away.
“What the hell, Parker?” Rumlow spat as he rubbed his jaw.
The bar went silent.
“Y’all know the rules, if you’re gonna fight, take it outside,” the bartender yelled.
“Get your toddler under control,” Rumlow sneered at Steve before heading outside. “Or meet me outside, and we can settle this like men.”
Steve pulled Peter away from the group.
“Kid, what the fuck?” He scolded.
“Nothing, just… fuck that guy,” Peter grumbled.
“Come on, man, what’s going on? You can’t just attack him. None of us like him, but you know the rules.”
Peter gritted his teeth and nodded.
“What’s with the attitude?” Steve sighed before saying your name. He saw Peter’s expression change slightly, from unbridled rage to something softer. “This about her?”
Peter opened his mouth to say something but didn’t.
“Look, I figured you were sweet on her, but you can’t attack people who talk about her,” Steve sighed.
The younger man snapped his head towards him.
“It’s not that at all.”
“Then what is it?”
Steve saw the conflict wash over his face before he shook his head, regret flickering through his features.
“Rumlow raped her,” Peter admitted, his voice barely above a whisper.
Steve’s heart nearly stopped.
“What?”
“A couple weeks ago. Found some Plan B in her trashcan. It’s why she hasn’t been around much. She asked me not to tell anyone, but that smug motherfucker brought her up-”
Steve walked away before he could finish.
Rumlow was in the parking lot, cursing at Rollins and a few of his men.
“You put that kid in time out?” Rumlow shouted when he noticed the blonde stalking his way. His eyes widened slightly when he realized Steve’s pace never let up.
Without missing a beat, Steve’s fist collided with Rumlow’s cheek, sending him to the ground.
Steve didn’t hold back as he wailed on him, feeling his knuckles split open from pounding against the other man’s teeth. It did little to slow him down.
“Hey hey,” Sam and Bucky went to pull Steve off but he snapped his head towards them before they could get near.
“Stay the fuck away,” he roared.
Before anyone could stop him, he got off of Rumlow and dragged him further away. Vaguely, Steve heard more arguing and punching, his men and Rumlow’s likely fighting each other off.
“You raped her?” Steve hissed so no one else could hear.
Rumlow smirked, stretching the torn patches of skin on his lips, bloodied saliva coating his teeth red.
“So the little bitch told you after all?” He taunted. “Tight little pussy, that one has.”
Steve punched him, but Rumlow clumsily dodged.
“She cried so sweetly the entire time,” he continued, and Steve swung again, which Runlow barely stepped out of the way. “Didn’t stop her from moaning like a slut when she came, though.”
He was tackled to the ground immediately after, where Steve didn’t hold back the barrage of punches against his face and chest.
He wanted to kill Rumlow and would have if the red and blue glow of impending police cruisers didn’t stop him. By the time Steve pulled away, Rumlow was unconscious, his face barely recognizable.
***
Steve still felt raw anger pulsating through him when he came home. Knowing what had happened under his roof while he was nowhere around to stop it had him hating himself as much as he did Rumlow.
“Fuck,” he yelled and hit the kitchen table hard enough to splinter some of the wood. He grabbed a bottle of whiskey, but before he could take a swig, he threw it against a wall where it shattered, trails of liquor running down the discolored wallpaper.
“Steve?” He heard you call out.
The noise had tipped you off, and you were terrified, unsure if Rumlow had come back. But then you heard Steve yell.
You were never more relieved to see him, though you still weren’t sure what state of mind he was in.
He looked at you, and the rage immediately disappeared as he took in your frightened expression.
“You’re hurt,” you said.
Steve’s knuckles were cut open and bleeding, as was his lip.
You grabbed the first aid kit from under the sink and approached him wearily, unsure if he’d let you near him. He did, and you gestured for him to sit down at the table.
After everything he did and said to you, you still wanted to help him. His heart felt heavy.
No words were exchanged as you cleaned his hands. He was eerily calm, not even flinching when you dabbed an alcohol soaked cotton ball on his knuckles.
You never asked how he got injured, not after he refused to answer you the dozens of times you asked before.
“Peter told me about Rumlow,” Steve muttered, breaking the silence.
You felt panic rising in your chest, and you stared at a stain on the table. You were about to get up and return to your room, where you felt at least a little safe, but Steve’s voice took you out of your thoughts.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Steve asked, nearly begging.
“I don’t know,” you breathed, still avoiding his gaze.
You felt his fingers gently push your chin up so you could look him in the eye. He looked at you so delicately, silently urging you to tell him the truth.
“I… I didn’t think you’d care,” you said after a small pause, your eyes looking off to the side as you tried to blink away tears.
Steve dropped his hand and you lowered your head and peered at him through the veil of your eyelashes.
A mixture of horror and remorse was etched into his features, from his furrowed brows to his slightly agape mouth. He ran a hand over his face and across his beard before shaking his head and standing up.
“Steve, where are you going?” You asked, panicked.
“Finishing what I started,” he said as he headed towards the front door.
You rushed after him frantically. Your legs felt like they were weighed down with ice, but you stumbled towards him with all your energy.
“No, no, please!” You called and it seemed to fall upon deaf ears. It wasn’t until you grabbed his arm that he stopped and turned towards you. “I don’t want anyone getting hurt because of me.”
“No one’s getting hurt because of you, they’re getting hurt because of what he did,” he growled and nearly had the door open.
“Please, just… stay here,” you begged.
His eyes softened as they roamed over your form.
“I don’t like being here alone,” you choked out.
Steve felt a lump in his throat at your confession.
Of course you didn’t like being at his house alone. No one was there to protect you.
The dam you built over the weeks to hold back all you felt broke. The emotional toll came down on you, a deluge of grief. Feelings you couldn’t process finally came out as you looked down and began to cry.
You shuddered a little when you felt Steve wrap his arms around you, but felt him relax when you melted into his embrace.
“I’ll stay,” his voice was tender, soft.
You sat next to him on the couch, and he didn’t ask you any questions, just reminded you of his presence by occasionally stroking your arm or urging you to rest your head against his shoulder.
“I was wrong,” he said.
“What?”
“When I called you weak. You’re not.”
You felt the sting of fresh tears pricking the corners of your swollen eyes.
“Compassion takes a lot of strength,” he said. “More than people like me ever give credit for.”
***
Things were a bit awkward at first-- Steve wasn’t sure how to navigate around you, but in time, he found you just wanted to be treated like before.
No one talked about Rumlow. You didn’t know where he was, only that Steve assured you he’d never hurt you again. It was a good enough answer for you.
He was home more often, too, rarely keeping you alone unless he had to leave. Even then, he asked Peter to come over and keep you company.
Steve was kinder with you, much like how he was when he wanted to be sweet. The soft gazes he used to give you returned, far more delicate this time around, and it made your heart flutter. You weren’t sure how to handle it.
With every every airy beat was a cold aftershock.
In time, however, you began to open up to him. While you never went into detail about that night, you told him what had happened, and you could see the array of anger and guilt flash across his features as you spoke.
Shortly after, Steve told you he found a different house and he was moving. He never gave you permission to leave his service, so you assumed your arrangement would remain the same.
“How have things been?” Peter asked when he saw you taping closed a box of newspaper wrapped plates.
“Just a lot of packing,” you answered.
“Do you like the new house?”
You thought about it for a moment. It was definitely not what you expected Steve to get, but that didn’t mean it was bad. You liked it.
“It’s nice. A lot more modern than this one. It’s closer to other people, though, so I was a little surprised Steve picked it.”
“You know why, right?”
You furrowed your brows.
“No, but he never really seemed to like this one.”
“He didn’t want you staying here because...”
Your breath hitched.
“Oh, I… I’m sure that’s not why,” you sputtered. “I feel like he wouldn’t keep me around as a maid if that’s all it was.”
Peter smiled at you, knowing but warm.
“He loves you, you know.”
“What?” You squeaked.
“I don’t know if it’s love yet, but it could be. But I know he cares about you a lot.”
“I- Peter, I don’t think that’s it.”
He didn’t say anything else, not wanting to make you feel uncomfortable.
Over the next few days, you thought about what he said. It made your heart race, but you weren’t sure if it was fear or desire. Perhaps a mixture of both.
***
The new house was about the same size as the last one, but didn’t creak nearly as much. Steve pointed you towards one of the guest rooms and said you could stay there. Though you had few possessions left, you still wanted to unpack and get settled, exhausted from the move.
But before you could open a box, Steve stopped by.
“You don’t have to stay here,” he said.
When you didn’t respond, he continued.
“If you want to leave, you can.”
He didn’t say anything else before he walked off, leaving you with a choice, the first real one you had in a very long time.
Nightfall came and you couldn’t sleep, the possibilities running through your head.
Freedom was so close, but what did that even mean anymore? The world you knew was gone. It changed, because you changed, and you didn’t know if you wanted to be back in it.
So you had to make a choice, and with all the confidence you had left, you got up.
With delicate care, you opened the door so the hinges wouldn’t squeak. Your footsteps were quiet as you made your way across the room. Steve's light snores let you know he was still sleeping, so you gently brushed a hand across his face.
His eyes snapped open and immediately focused on you.
"Is something wrong?" He asked, confusion lacing his sleep heavy voice, before sitting up. The thin bed sheet pooled at his hips, exposing his muscular chest. You could practically feel the heat rolling off of him.
You hesitated, unsure how to move forward without making him uncomfortable, but you thought about what Peter said and remembered the way Steve would look at you.
Slowly, you crawled onto the bed where you straddled his knees, keeping a little distance between you two.
Steve's breath hitched, and he moved his hands up before letting them fall back into his sides.
Trembling slightly, you cupped his face and felt your heart flutter at the soft sigh he released as he closed his eyes. Your thumb ran over his lip and you felt him run his fingers along your knee.
You leaned forward slowly and paused to give him a moment to back away if he wanted to. He didn't and instead closed the gap where his chapped lips brushed against your soft ones.
He kissed you with a measured, delicate touch, like he was afraid you'd run away.
When you pulled away, you saw the storm in his blue eyes, a battle between succumbing to his desires or doing what he felt was right.
"I-" he started before pausing. "I don't know if this is good for you."
You laughed softly much to his surprise.
"I don’t want to be defined by the bad things that have happened to me," you said. "I want this, Steve."
He nodded slightly, his hands finding their way to your hips where he pulled you closer. You could feel his hardening length brush your core through the sheets and layers of clothes, and you both gasped a little.
He pressed another kiss to your lips before whispering against them.
"Tell me if you want to stop and I will."
You nodded and he kissed you again, his hands wandering up your body. He lifted the oversized shirt and didn’t suppress the sigh upon seeing so much of you for the first time.
Hesitantly, he touched you, his fingers trailing over your soft skin before giving you another kiss.
Before you could register it, you were laying down under him, and he gently parted your legs so he could rest between them. You swallowed the gasp at the feeling of his hard length on your thigh and he stopped.
“Are you okay?” He asked.
“Yes,” you said and smiled at him, pulling him down to kiss him, which he readily accepted.
He broke away only to trail kisses down your neck to your chest where he ran a tongue around a nipple. You moaned a little and you felt Steve hum in satisfaction. He gave the other nipple the same amount of attention before travelling downward.
When he reached your panty glad core, he tugged them off gently, gauging your reaction. When you didn’t stop him, he parted your thighs before resting them on his shoulders. You felt his lips press against the soft skin at the apex of your thighs before you felt his tongue swirl around your clit.
You arched your back and moaned.
He took his time with you, starting slow, letting you get used to the feeling.
He flicked the tip of his tongue against the sensitive bud before a calloused finger pulled the hood of your clit back and sucked it in his mouth.
Your back bowed as you felt the band within you pull tighter and tighter.
A thick finger prodded your entrance and pushed inside, and you keened at the feeling. He moved it slowly within you before adding another, stretching your walls. He hit something within you that made your entire body pulse.
Another hard suck, and it snapped, the tension in your body relaxing all at once, a flood of bliss flowing through you as you clenched his fingers in waves. You didn’t even hear the moan you let out, but Steve did, and he wanted nothing more than to bring that sound out of you again.
When you came down from your high, Steve crawled back up your body, capturing your lips in a kiss, swallowing every sweet sigh.
“You did so good for me,” he whispered. You felt your core tremble at his praise.
He ran the head of his cock through your folds, and you gasped. He gathered your slick, preparing himself before positioning himself at your entrance.
“You ready?” He asked you and you nodded.
Slowly, he pushed inside and stopped when you made a pained noise.
“Keep going,” you whimpered and he obliged.
Soon, his entire length was in you, and gasped when he bottomed out.
“Taking me so well,” he murmured as he peppered kisses along your jaw and neck. “Let me know when you want me to move.”
He stayed in you, patient, letting your walls get used to his thick length. When the ache dulled out to a mild throbbing you nodded at him.
Slowly, he moved his hips.
You gasped at the feeling of his cock moving through your silken walls with ease, having prepared you so thoroughly for him. His head bumped against the same spot his fingers had moments before, and it had your toes curling at the feeling. You rolled your hips to meet his.
“Can I go faster?” He asked between strained grunts. His hair was in his face, a few strands stuck to the beads of sweat on his forehead. He looked beautiful like that.
“Please,” you mewled and he didn’t hold back the full bodied groan at your pleas.
“Let me know if it’s too hard,” he whispered into your ear as his thrusts got deeper.
You saw stars in the way he was pounding into you, hard enough to entice and always on the precipice of too much but never venturing past it.
Soon, you felt that band within you pull taught once more, and a few more thrusts had you falling over the edge, your pussy fluttering around his thick cock as you let out another sonorous moan.
“Fuck,” he groaned when he felt you clenching his cock, the sweet sounds you made urging him to completion.
“Please cum inside me,” you asked him when you felt him leave.
He didn’t need to be asked again when he pushed his length into your overwrought core.
Warmth flooded you, and you gasped a little bit. It felt right.
Both of you were out of breath and he stayed inside you. A satisfied smile graced his lips and he kissed you once more.
You sniffled a little, tears pooling in your eyes.
Steve cupped your face and you nearly laughed at the panicked look in his eyes.
“Did I-”
“No,” you assured him and smiled. “That was amazing. I just wish…”
You paused.
“I wish… the first time was like that.”
He looked at you with so much tenderness and adoration, you felt your heart skip a few beats.
“As far as I’m concerned, this was your first time,” he said, doubtless in his words.
You nodded, feeling a few tears roll down your face, and he leaned down to kiss them away.
You didn’t know what the future held, where you were going, how this would end. You didn’t care. As Steve held you in his arms, you drifted into a peaceful sleep, one you hadn’t had in a long time.
***
Note: Ahhh what a long journey! Thank you to everyone for sticking with me! I know this was a longer read!
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As always, comments and reblogs, and reblogs with comments make my day and are always appreciated!
Update: It's been about a day and a half since I posted this fic, and I got a lovely anon hate message that's making me want to address something:
When Rumlow tells Steve the reader "moaned like a slut when she came," please do not take that as anything other than a piece of shit rapist being awful. He was taunting Steve.
It's normal and common for rape survivors to orgasm during their assault. It doesn't mean they wanted it, it doesn't mean they enjoyed it, and it doesn't make them a slut (and there's nothing wrong with being a slut, anyway). It's a natural reaction to being stimulated in that area. It's like crying when chopping onions. You're not sad, it's just your eyeballs responding to fumes in the air.
The reason why I never wrote the Reader feeling ashamed for orgasming is because she knew it was a natural response. So she didn't consider it something she needed to feel bad for.
Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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m4sh1 · 19 days ago
Text
look how easy
pair: jealousdom!jay x subfem!reader
summary: you and your friend jay hook up a lot, but are still “just friends”… and you didn’t think he’d ever act so jealous like this. how were you supposed to know that you couldn’t flirt or have sex with other people?
contains: degrading, slapping, choking, oral (m receiving), unprotected sex, dirty dirty stuff omfg i’m crazy
(REQUESTED)
a/n: sorry for not posting a lot :( life was kinda busy but thanks for 200+ followers and hope u enjoy! (also lmk if a part 2 of “if you hate me so much” is something any of u would want.. possibly.. looks away)
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jay has always been a little clingy. you’ve known this since the beginning of high school when you first met him. he’s been one of your best friends for a long time, and his clinginess is one of the many things you like about him. it was nice to feel cared about.
it was normal for him to want to link arms while walking or put his arm behind your shoulder, but you noticed the shift when he started putting his arm around your waist instead. he was acting different, more touchy-feely than usual. then, one day, when you two were hanging out at his place, he had put his hand on your thigh while you two were watching a movie. one thing led to another and he fucked your brains out on his couch that day.
you’ve talked about not wanting to be in a relationship, and there has never been any trouble with it. only, you both are so satisfied with each other that you never hook up with anyone else.
you admire the neon sign illuminating the road around the club as jay pulls the car into a parking spot. you visit this club almost every weekend with friends, and the smell of it was familiar as you walked in. you immediately spotted some familiar faces at a table and start walking towards them.
“you want something to drink?” jay asked, slightly yelling over the music and talking.
“yes please!” you reply, then continuing to the table. you greeted your friends as one of them pulled out a chair for you.
a few minutes later, jay looked over his shoulder, and was displeased to see you handing a small piece of paper to one of the workers, who took it and put it in his pocket. it was made even worse when the worker leaned down to kiss you on the cheek and put his hand on your waist before winking and walking away.
the worker was cute, and talked to you first. asking your name, if you come there often, etc. he asked for your number and you didn’t know how to say no. he was cute but you didn’t like him enough right away to talk to him on the phone if he called. you could have written a fake number, but your mind blanked. as far as the kiss goes, you didn’t have much say in the matter to be honest. he just did it and you accepted it. after he left, you and your friends immediately started giggling, and jay hated watching all of it happen.
a few more minutes of conversation passed at the table, and you suddenly realized that you couldn’t see jay anywhere. you texted him.
where are u?
in the car, just come out when you’re done. i’m not feeling well.
are you okay?
yeah i’m fine, just tired i think
ok i’ll try to hurry
you were in the car half an hour later, after deciding that you didn’t care enough about talking to your friends to make jay wait any longer, especially if he wasn’t feeling good.
“did you give that worker your number?” jay asked suddenly.
“uhh yeah, i did.”
“did you think he was hot?”
“i mean, i guess he wasn’t ugly. why do you care?” you laughed.
“so, what, if he called you and asked you on a date, would you do it?” he seemed annoyed but wasn’t really showing any kind of emotion.
“i-i don’t know, probably not.”
“so why did you give him your number? so he could call you for a quick fuck if he wanted?” he said in a calm voice.
you were stunned, but you knew that when jay is mad like this, he says things he doesn’t mean. so you paused your thoughts and realized that he was just jealous.
“i don’t know why i gave him my number, and why are you so mad? are you jealous?” you asked. he paused.
“i’ll let you be the judge of that after we get back to my place.” he said, still sounding so calm.
he wasn’t looking at you so he didn’t see the way your eyes lit up when he said this. you were hoping that meant what you thought it meant. the idea of rough and jealous sex with jay was more exciting than you could put into words.
~~~
jay sat you down on his bed, and closed the door. you sat in anticipation as you watched him take off his shirt and belt in front of you.
he leaned down in front of you with his arms on the bed either side of you.
“i don’t wanna be nice to you tonight, is that okay?” he asked in a condescending tone as he tucked some of your hair behind your ear. you noticed he was shaking slightly and going red in the face and ears. you couldn’t tell if he was angry, nervous, horny, or all of the above. whatever it was, it was completely different compared to how he was acting in the car. you and jay both liked it rough, but this feeling of slight fear was new. he grabbed your chin and looked into your eyes. “i don’t know why, but right now i just wanna be horrible and mean to you. say the word and i’ll stop. can i?”
you nodded. he was hot and looked desperate. he released his grip on your jaw and took a deep breath. then, jay quickly pulled his hand back and sent it flying in a slap across your cheek, where he was previously softly touching. before you had time to react, he was kissing you roughly and shoving you down onto your back as he crawled on top of you. he sloppily shoved his tongue deep inside your mouth, not holding himself back. you moaned into the kiss and moaned again when he slid one of his knees between your legs and pressed, hard. he let go of your mouth and moved on to your neck, which he littered with bites and hickeys that would for sure be dark red and purple for a long time. you covered your mouth with your hand as you were overwhelmed by the feeling. soon he sat up, telling you to get completely naked in front of him. you blushed and pulled your pants and panties down first, discarding of them on the floor. jay laughed at how flustered you were and how your hands were trembling. your shirt came off next, followed by your bra, leaving you completely naked in front of him.
“look at you, like a dumb little doll waiting to be used. you’d like that, wouldn’t you? look at how easy it was to get you to take your clothes off.” he said, sounding pissed off but calm at the same time. he climbed on top of you again, grinding his still-clothed crotch against yours, and wrapping a hand around your neck to hold you down.
“i bet if you didn’t have me, you’d go fucking a different guy every night. is that right? you’re just a little fuckdoll wanting to be passed around, huh?” you nodded your head in response, flustered and basically dripping wet at his words.
he sat up and pulled his pants down enough for his hard dick to spring out of his boxers. he told you to get on your elbows and knees, so you silently obeyed. he fucked you slow and deep first, then fucked you like his life depended on it. you felt him grab your hair and pull your head up. “you’re such a little whore, pulling a stunt like that. acting like you would actually fuck someone other than me. you know better than that.” you could only moan in response, and you felt your ass sting from jay slapping it.
“answer me when i’m talking to you. you hear me talking right?” he said, speaking lowly in your ear.
“y-yes. i’m sorry..” you choked out.
“there we go, i knew you could do it.”
his pace quickened and you were taken over by an orgasm in no time, jay cumming in you shortly after. he pulled out and admired his cum running out of your pussy and onto your thighs.
“turn around and sit up.” he ordered after a few moments of nothing but heavy breathing. you quickly did as you were told, and sat on your knees in front of him. he stroked himself and took his pants off the rest of the way, finally leaving him completely naked as well. as soon as he started to get hard again, he spread his legs out and grabbed the back of your neck to bring you closer.
“how about you suck me off now, princess?” he asks, adding the “princess” at the end to fake some sympathy. “you can do that, right? any slut like you would.”
“y-yes..” is all you could say before he pushed your head down to his cock, which was now fully hard again. you opened your mouth and adjusted yourself before taking as much of him into your mouth as you could, trying not to choke.
he moved your head up and down at whatever speed he wanted, slowing down at times just to speed up again, rarely letting you come up for air. when you did lift your head, you were met with a slap across your cheek.
“ahh-h fuck i’m close,” he hissed before bucking his hips up and holding your head down. “swallow.”
in a few seconds you felt jay’s cum running down your throat, and you swallowed.
you looked up at him, and he softly placed his hand on your cheek. “what do you say?” he asked.
“th-thank you.” you replied.
he decided he would make you cum one more time, since he reached between your legs and felt how wet sucking him off had made you. he sat you in front if him and pulled you close, quickly starting to finger you, wanting to make you cum as fast as possible. he rubbed your clit with his other hand and was rapidly bringing you to your second orgasm. “that’s it, cum again for me, you little slut.” he hummed as you came around his fingers.
after you came down from your high, he leaned forward to kiss you passionately.
“fuck, jay, that was so hot.” you sighed in between kisses. he just laughed and kissed you more.
jay ran a bath for both of you, and you spent the rest of the night in each other’s arms, leaving the “what are we?” discussion for another day.
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