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formidxble · 3 years

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summary: you and chan follow a routine every night. tonight’s different.

pairing: bang chan x female reader

word count: 3.1k

genre: angst, like Extreme Angst™️, college!au, established relationship

warnings: a lot of swearing, toxic relationship, mentions of sex ( oh and btw, this is not beta read. we die like men)

note: omg? finally? i got to write something and now i’m posting it on here? confidently??? who is she, we don’t know her! enough jokes though, this is my first fic ever that’s going to be posted on this platform, so i’m excited! constructive criticism and feedback are welcome 👉🏻👈🏻.

tagged ❤️: @popisdead @hanflix

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ masterlist

it’s become routine at this point.

when chan sees your room’s light turn off, it’s a signal that your roommates are now headed to bed and that you’re ready to come out and meet him. it’s been a busy few months for the both of you and the nights were the only time you two could meet. he’s a business major working on his business proposals for the semester and you’re a performing arts student, preparing for this semester’s art production. saying it was hard to make time to see each other was an understatement. nevertheless, you two made sure you still met, may it be only for a few minutes. some nights you were lucky, being able to meet for an hour or so. nights were reserved for chan and for chan only.

after putting on your coat, you reached out for the door knob as you felt your phone buzz in your pocket. “are you coming or not? i’m freezing” you sigh softly.

the first few nights were fun, you have to admit. impromptu grocery shopping for the both of your food supplies for rest of the week, a few make out sessions here and there, and sometimes, leading to even more if you both were lucky enough. it gave you a high you never thought you would ever come down from. whenever he kissed you after a long day, you felt as if the weight on your shoulders fell off, even for just a moment. whenever chan held you in his arms and told you it was going to be okay, your chest loosened, even for just a moment. chan was the calm in the chaos and when you were in his car, holding his hand and feeling his lips lingering on yours, he provided the needed break you longed for during the day.

but, as the days and weeks passed by, the nights became shorter and quieter. rides became quicker and the good conversations slowly turned into mere small talk. no longer would he give you soft touches, no longer would he ask how your day went, and no longer would chan look at you the way he did before. no more i love you’s, no more second glances when he dropped you off at your dorm during the early hours of the morning. you excused the change of behavior as the result of your fatigue in school. the change was expected, you always told yourself.

it’s become a mantra now, something you repeated to yourself as you lied in bed at night, a routine. a routine.

you close your eyes for a moment as you twist the doorknob to open the door. you focus on your phone again as soon as you got out of your dorm. “coming."

you spotted chan’s car a mile away. before, he would put the window down to greet you, a soft smile spreading across his face. now, you were faced with the car’s tinted windows, your reflection staring back at you as you wrapped your fingers around the handle of the car door. you heard the lock click.

“hey,” you mumbled. you heard a soft hum in response. you quietly put the seatbelt on, relaxing your back on the seat as you stared ahead. chan was on his phone, seatbelt off. light from his phone illuminated his features. the bags under his eyes were a little bit more prominent than the last time you noticed. you wonder if he’s been eating, getting enough sleep, but you weren’t in the position to ask now. not when frustration is starting to boil in your chest.

you didn’t know if you should call him out. it was his way to unwind as well, but then again, he was there to pick you up for a short date. this was the only time you both had for yourselves, yet here he was, texting away on his phone. this shouldn’t annoy you as much as it does now because chan does this whenever he was waiting.

“hey,” you repeat louder. chan looks up from his phone, an eyebrow raised.

“yes?” he asks, turning his phone off. the two of you are surrounded in darkness, with only the light from the lamp posts outside lighting the interior of the car.

“what do you mean, ‘yes?’ are you serious?” chan furrows his eyebrows at your words as he straps himself in. he turns to you, blinking. you suck in a breath.

“this is the only time we get to spend together and you’re on your phone? are you ser—“

“i’m sorry. there,” he breathes, “can we move past this? i’m not in the mood to fight.” he interrupts. you open your mouth to say something back, but you’re cut off by the movement of the car.

the air inside the car was heavy, heavier than usual. sure, you and chan had a couple of unresolved fights the other nights and sure, you spent you early mornings crying over him, but it should have been resolved with the few kisses he gives you, right? then why are you so upset now? chan makes amends, tells you he’s sorry for raising his voice, for ignoring you the whole day. he was busy, right? of course he’ll end up not texting you. he kisses the pain away, even though he’s the reason for said pain. he talks his way out and if he avoids the topic of the fight, you wouldn’t mind. that was the routine. but not tonight, apparently.

“you’re always not in the mood.” you whisper, crossing your arms in front of your chest. you watch the trees outside of the car starting to blur as chan’s driving sped up. this night will end as quick as it started, you thought. you hear a sigh beside you.

“i just—“ chan starts, “i can’t fight anymore, y/n. i’m tired.”

“and you think i’m not?” you answer back, looking at the man beside you, “god, we never talk anymore, chan. all we ever do is fuck the pain away and—“

you’re cut off by the sight of chan’s knuckles slowly turning white on the steering wheel. you almost don’t see the way he clenches his jaw. he pulls the car over at the side of the road and for a second, you think you two will be able to finally talk about your issues, the problems that were never muttered, but still plagued your relationship. god knows you wanted to hear from him, anything— fuck, just anything to finally resolve it, fix it. to finally end the routine you both had. but that hope shatters as soon as his mouth opens.

“what do you want me to say? we’ve been okay, we’ve been fin—“

you let out an exasperated sigh, eyes meeting his, “we aren’t fine, chan, we haven’t bee—“

“what do you mean?” chan questions. he removes his seatbelt to turn to you. a gentleman he still was, even though you knew he was avoiding the topic. again. “fuck, what do you want me to say? i was on the phone. how does that merit a full blown argu—“

“it’s not about the damn phone!” you exclaim, finally feeling the frustration in your chest blow over.

were you going crazy? why didn’t he see the changes? doesn’t he feel the frustration? were you the only one feeling this way, then? does he feel that everything was okay or were you that good at acting that everything was okay, that nothing was wrong? you run a hand down your face as you try to collect yourself. the car became quiet, as always. chan was never really vocal about things like this and let you do the talking. maybe this is why issues were never resolved.

“then, what is it about?” chan mumbles, eyes never leaving your form. you let out a soft scoff.

"what is it abou—are you kidding me? are you fucking with me?”chan raises an eyebrow in response, furrowing it afterwards. he lets out a sarcastic laugh after a few beats of silence. he shook his head as he turned to face the road again.

“is this fight going to last all night? if so, i’d rather just drop you off,” he starts to put his seatbelt on, "we can continue our date when you’re not this moody."

and at that moment, your world nearly stops. the silence in the car was loud and the tension, if you could see it, could be cut with a knife. his words echo in your mind as the car starts moving again, chan preparing to make a u-turn to go back in the direction of your dorm.

“not...this...moody?” you repeat to yourself. chan nonchalantly hums in response.

you couldn’t even look at this man anymore. it was as if you didn’t know him anymore. he carried the name of your boyfriend, but was he really the chan you knew? the chan you knew won’t be able to say these things to you, let alone treat you like this. you feel like a deer in headlights, shocked at how everything led up to this moment. and to think that the turning point of your relationship was something as simple as chan being on his phone. you closed your eyes as you tried to fight the lump forming in your throat.

“so, what am i supposed to do?” you ask. "just go home and think about what i did? what i said?”

chan shrugs. he shrugs. you couldn’t believe how he didn’t take this conversation seriously. was it because you’ve been in this exact same situation before? sure, fights have been frequent, but were they frequent to the point that chan just straight up ignored them? to the point that he never brought the topics up again? no effort to try and fix it?

was he that tired that he was willing to let everything pass? let you suffer in silence?

“stop the car,” you whisper shakily. chan doesn’t listen, though. he never does, he rarely does. he never listens anymore.

“chan, please stop the car,” you feel stupid begging, but that does it. he stops the car again, your dorm building in sight. his knuckles start to turn white again, but he closes his eyes this time. you hear him take a sharp inhale through his nose.

“i can’t fight anymore, y/n, please, just...we can fix it tomorrow, whatever it is.”

you let out a soft sob at his words. “chan, you always say that, god, you always say that.”

chan grips his steering wheel tighter. “yes, i do, but we always fix it. we always end up fixing it.”

“no, we fucking don’t!” you scream now, releasing the frustration that has been clawing to come out, “no, we don’t fix things, we fuck it away and we pray that things magically turn okay in the morning, but it never does! it never fucking does!”

chan stays quiet, eyes drifting to the car floor. you wish you could know what he was thinking. you wish he would talk to you, tell you what he really felt instead of just sitting there. god, were you tired. you were tired of pretending things were okay when they aren’t. you were tired of telling yourself it would be fixed, that the relationship would go back to normal, but it never does. and you just somehow have to live with it because that’s how it is with you and him. that’s the routine, right? and even though you hated it, you tolerated it because you loved him. but people will reach an end point, one way or the other. you can’t help but feel that this was yours.

“loving you is so exhausting, chan, i—“ your voice cracks, “i’m supposed to be content with this treatment? you and i not talking the whole day and then meeting at night just to make up for lost time, have sex, and pretend that everything’s okay, that the fights have not gotten out of hand, that we’re going to be ok—“

“we are going to be okay, fuck, it’s not that easy,” chan mumbles, “i’m trying, y/n, but i can’t give you everything you need, not anymore.”

silence fills the car and it engulfs the two of you.

"what changed?" you sob softly, tears now slowly flowing down your cheeks. it was okay, a few weeks ago. days became busier, tasks became heavier, but did that mean that your relationship had to deteriorate the way it has been?

“nothing changed, please, y/n,”chan breathes, not turning to look at you, “we just got busier and—"

“we weren’t like this, chan, we used to talk about things. w-we used to...talk. we can’t even do that now? am i asking for too much? i shouldn’t be begging for your time, chan, please—“you cry out softly. “why am i always second to you, chan? i try to be the best for you, chan, please.”

chan lets out a shaky breath as he tries to find the words to respond with. “y/n, it’s not y—“

“spare me the bullshit. spare me the "it’s not you, it’s me”. at least, be honest with me.” you say firmly, wiping away the tears on your cheeks harshly.

“i...i just don’t feel like i’m ready for this yet, okay? i want to fo—"

your feel something in your chest. a pain you’ve never felt before. chan’s words become a blur as you feel your back hit the seat.

you’re taken back to a time in your childhood when you were trying out the jump rope your friends had. being the idiot you were, you jumped in time with the rope and it tangled on your feet. you ended up falling on your chin, scraping it in the process. the pain rang through your skull and for a while, you couldn’t move, tears merely streaming down your cheeks. and to that that one time during one of the art productions in university, you ended up falling off of the stage. of course, it wasn’t anyone’s fault, but maybe if they turned on the lights before lowering the stage, you wouldn’t have broken your ankle. you remember how worried chan was, but most importantly, you remember how much it hurt. you couldn’t walk and if you tried, it would shoot pain up your leg.

adding all the pain you’ve felt in all those moments, it wouldn’t amount to the pain you feel now.

not ready? not ready after 3 years? how could he say that? this was the man you saw your future with, someone who was supposed to be your soulmate. that was him, that was chan. the nights you shared, the words you uttered, were all those fake? were all those just to make everything feel okay?

not ready?

not ready.

the words echo in your mind like a broken record. were you supposed to beg him to stay? beg him to be ready when he just admitted that he wasn’t? as you turned to look at him, you didn’t see the chan who loved you. instead, it was the shell of the man who used to love you, care for you. fuck, was love supposed to hurt this bad? you feel your heart starting to crack even more.

if this was love, you didn’t want it. not anymore.

“drop me off,”you mumble after a deafening silence, voice shaking as a sob threatens to come out of your mouth. chan turns to look at you, finally. you don’t meet his eyes anymore. you, instead, just look straight ahead. if he wasn’t ready for a commitment, even after 3 long years, then you were not about to beg him to stay. chan opens his mouth to say something, but you notice that he just swallows his words. he turns to look in front of him as he pushes on the gas again to drive back to your dorm. if he wasn’t ready, then he wasn’t ready. there’s no point in trying to convince him he is. the next best thing is to leave and let him figure out what he needed to figure out. if he needed space, he could have told you. what bothered you the most is the fact that chan’s always been about communication, but somehow and somewhere along the journey, he changed. maybe that’s just how it goes.

when he pulls up in front of your dorm building, chan turns to look at you again, eyes scanning your features. “i’ll see you tomorrow, then?”

you shake your head, eyes closing as you tried to fight the urge to cry again. the question he asked has always confused you. it was always like this, that even after a fight, he expects to see you again, the same time, the same place. you were tired and it didn’t help that you now knew why he wasn’t acting the same— he wasn’t ready to commit to you, even after all this time.

“i’m ending it here, chan."

“ending what?”

ending the routine, ending the cycle, ending us. these words rang through your head and you didn’t know which to answer. was he acting aloof so that he could get off easily? that maybe you’ll let him off again because he somehow can’t understand what was happening? you swallowed.

“us, chan, i—i can’t go on like this anymore,” you pause. was this what you really wanted or were you doing this to prove a point? you weren’t sure, but one thing’s clear, you had to do this, not only for him, but for you. you can’t subject yourself to this cycle anymore. you had to break it sooner or later. “when i get out of this car, we’re over."

chan’s car became a place of love and security in a world full of uncertainty and chaos. it was where you both spent time together when you needed a break, when you needed to be together. now, it was a place of loneliness and despair. it became a place full of resentment and unresolved issues and you can’t help but wonder how chan will be able to sit in his car again without thinking of this moment. before he could respond, you were out of the car.

in the back of your mind, you hoped that he would call you, run after you. beg you to stay, tell you that everything will be fixed if you just gave him time. you prayed in your head desperately. if he did so, you know you’ll come crawling back to him. if he showed some sort of care, some sort of longing, some sort of initiative that he wanted things to work out, that he wanted this as much as you do, then maybe you’ll come back to him again. that’s how it always was, right?

right?

behind you, you hear the car drive away.

#stray kids #bang chan au #bang chan x reader #skz #college!au #bang chan #the way i sobbed while writing this is criminal #kpop scenarios #kpop #skz imagines #bang chan angst #skz chan #skz angst #thanks for reading!!#kim tries to write #archive #stray kids imagines #skzstorynet

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ppersonna · 4 years

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the landlord - myg | m

↳ summary- your air conditioner breaks right at the height of a recordbreaking heat wave. good thing your hot landlord, yoongi, knows how to attend to any needs you may have.

↳ rating- explicit / 18+

↳ word count- 4.3k

↳ pairing- yoongi x reader

↳ genre- smut, light crack, PWP

↳ warnings- basically the plot of a porn, theres no plot, the plot doesn’t make sense, seduction, oral sex (m/f receiving), penetrative sex, dirty talk, fun laughing giggly time during sex, honestly yoongi is great and i love him, maybe exhibitionism if u squint ???, cum sharing, finger sucking, motorboating

↳ a/n- did i just write basically the plotline of a bad porno? yes. did i love it? also yes. this was lowkey inspired by my own landlord coming over to my place (that i DIDNT SLEEP WITH) and i answered the door in a state of undress :/ i hate myself lol. anywwayyss! enjoy yoongi the landlord! pls feel free to interact with me because i need constant attention uwu

The inside of your apartment feels hotter than the blazing sun outside. Your air conditioner chose the worst week to fritz on you. A record-breaking heat wave.

Nothing helps. You open windows, blow fans, sit in front of your fridge, take cold showers. All just momentary bliss that ends too soon.

It finally breaks you and you muster up the courage to text your landlord, Yoongi.

You inhale a deep breath as you click on the name. Min Yoongi, landlord. Your eyes flutter shut for a moment without realizing.

Your landlord who lives in the same building as you is likely the hottest and most attractive man you’ve ever met. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t have a crush on the man. Every month, paying rent was torture. You wanted to fling your legs open to him and request he takes his payment another way.

But you never did. He always remained cool and expressionless and it was hard to get a read on the man, let alone see if he’s interested.

Your fingers slide across the keys, nibbling at your lip as you decide what to say.

[to: yoongi] hi! sorry to bother you but my ac appears to have died and im afraid ill be next at the rate of his heat wave 😩 no rush but id appreciate help!

Perfect. Simple, slightly cutesy. Emoji to express how chill you are.

Your phone vibrates almost instantly and a smile curves on your face.

[to: me] oh no, we can’t have that. haunted apartments are hard to rent out 😉 im out until late tonight but i can stop by first thing in the morning if that’s cool?

A flirty line? Is this… working?

[to: yoongi] tomorrow is great! and don’t worry, if i die i won’t haunt this apartment, i’ll haunt yours 😌

[to: me] see you tomorrow, poltergeist 👻

You’re leaping through the air at the idea of the hot landlord semi-flirting with you over text when you notice your apartment. It’s disgusting. Your face burns red and you instantly work on the space before Yoongi comes over. He can't see you like this.

Sleep is out of the question. After your ravage cleaning and polishing and organizing, you’ve worked up more than a sweat. A cold shower helps for a moment but you end up lying in bed feeling slightly wet and very, very hot. The humidity is draining.

You change into an outfit of a crop top and g-string panties. You aim the 3 fans in your room to point around your bed for direct wind contact. It helps, somewhat.

Sleep finally comes as dawn breaks. It’s cooled off enough that the ambient air around you is finally tolerable. Exhaustion overwhelms you, and you pass out, hard. Finally.

You’re broken from your exquisite dream of being nailed by your landlord when a loud knock wakes you up. It’s disorienting. You’re so tired you’re not even sure where you are at the moment, let alone who is at the door. The knock sounds again and you scurry to turn off the loud fans and book it to the door.

The door swings open and reveals your landlord, Yoongi.

“Oh, hi!” You’re excited to see him, for reasons beyond fixing your air conditioning.

Yoongi steps in and looks like he’s about to speak but opens his mouth and remains silent. His cheeks tingle a light shade of pink and he’s staring at your body. Did you drool all over yourself all night or something? What was he staring—

Oh god.

You glance down at your body. The crop top you hastily changed into in the middle of the night hits you a little lower than where your breasts end. The G string is non-existent. It covers almost nothing, which is why you opted for it last night in your desire to get cooled off.

You take a step back from the sexy landlord still gaping at you and shyly cross your arms over your chest.

“I’m sorry, I—it was hot,” you mutter. “I’ll go change.”

Yoongi licks his lips, then snaps his eyes up to you and finds his voice. “It’s fine. It’s your home,” he swallows. “It’s hot in here, so stay comfortable. Don’t want to overheat you.”

His eyes stare down yours intensely. It feels like your veins sizzle, and it’s not related to the scorching temperature of your studio apartment.

He breaks the contact first and heads towards the panel in the wall where the inner workings of the air conditioner hide.

You wait in your kitchen, enjoying the natural shadow and shade from no windows and a spot to hide from Yoongi.

What if he thought badly about you? What if he doesn’t find you attractive and thinks of this as a ploy to get him to lower your rent or something? How could you recover from this? Would it ever go back to being the same?

You’re anxiously tapping your fingers on the kitchen countertop, listening intently as the landlord fiddles with pipes and belts and mutters under his breath every so often. Eventually, you hear a soft ‘aha’ and your air con kicks right on. You think it’s the most beautiful sound you’ve ever heard. Instantly you feel the machine push out air. It’s lukewarm now from disuse, but soon it will be frigid cold. You stand in front of the breeze and bask, arms open to let the wind blow through you.

Yoongi clears his throat, and it startles you, making you realize you’re standing in your house nearly naked, ass cheeks out on display, under-boob surely peeking out to say hi. Your face burns and it makes him chuckle as you jump and attempt to cover yourself somehow.

“How long was I standing there?” You ask quietly.

Yoongi can’t wipe the amused smirk on his face. “A few minutes,” he shrugs. “Glad it’s working now for you.”

The air rapidly cools as the machine continuously pumps out colder and colder air.

“Thank god. I owe you,” you sigh.

“Nah, that’s what rent pays for,” he smiles.

He makes his move to leave you alone, and you recognize this is it. This is your chance. You can ask him to fuck the shit out of you now. If he declines, well, the first of the month would start being more awkward. But if he accepts… it’s too blissful to imagine.

You grab at his arm as he walks past you. He stops in his tracks, and his eyes travel to where your hands meet his skin.

“I’m serious,” you attempt to sound as confident as you can. “I owe you.”

He arches a brow at you and turns completely to face you. Your hands hover at the hem of your tiny shirt, lifting a sliver to give him a glance of the bottom of a rounded globe.

“Let me repay you somehow?” you ask.

A smirk lifts at one side of his lips. “You think that will cover the cost?”

Your cheeks heat and you pull the shirt up higher, determined to get him in your bed or die trying.

“I’m hoping.”

Yoongi’s eyes zero in on your tits. Rounded and full, nipples prickling in the fresh and rapidly cooling air. He contemplates for a moment as he lets his eyes get their nice, long drink of you.

“Yeah, now that I think of it, that should be exact change.” He drops his bag of tools and approaches you quickly, hands cupping your head as he kisses you intensely.

He kisses you with all the fire of the heatwave outside, melting you from the inside out. You’re sure to be sweaty and clammy after you’re finished with him. He swipes his tongue over your lips, and there’s no hesitation to let him in. Your hands grip at his sides, pulling his shirt up as much as you can while trying to focus on making out with the hottest guy you’ve ever met.

He chuckles against your lips at your weak attempt to disrobe him and he reluctantly pulls a step away from you to take the shirt off. He stands there and allows you a quick look before he’s back on to you. His skin presses against your chilled nipples and the fire and ice sensation makes you shiver.

Yoongi kisses you passionately, you notice. Like a lover. It’s laced with deeper intention and you hope you’re not overthinking it. You will your brain to just shut up and enjoy. Emotions can come later.

Now, you’re the one to remove your lips from his and he pouts slightly at the loss. You smile and slide down to your knees, hands undoing the button of his tight jeans and tugging them down.

“Shit, babe, I think you may be overpaying me,” he admits. “Wasn’t that hard to fix.”

As a finger pulls down the front of his boxers to let his cock spring free, you flick a smirk up to his face.

“Then consider this my repayment for being late on rent all those months,” you state before shifting your gaze back to his hardened cock. It’s gathered pre-cum at the head and you wonder if he’s been hard and wanting since he got here and first saw you. The thought is intoxicating and spurs you on.

Your tongue licks up the slick at the tip that threatens to drip off, before it swirls around the bulbous head. Yoongi isn’t afraid to be loud, it seems. You supposed you wouldn’t be afraid if you owned the building too. Who will complain? And to who?

“Hoooooly fuck,” he gasps. “Sh—shit I might let you pay rent like this for the rest of your lease.”

You pop your mouth off and lick your lips, allowing your hand to grip his shaft and begin stroking him.

“I don’t want to pay rent this way. How about we consider it a perk?” You smile, pressing forward to kiss his tip teasingly.

“God, a girl who doesn’t want to fuck me just to take advantage of me? And she’s hot as fuck and wants to blow me for fun?” he quirks his head. “Shit, be careful or I’ll end up falling in love.”

It makes your head spin a little and you suckle at the tip a little longer, making him keen, before you pull away again.

“Maybe that was the plan all along,” you simper, then take him in fully, letting his tip glide down your mouth to the back of your throat. He groans loudly, and it’s the most satisfying sound. It makes you want to do this more. Every day if you could.

You get to work, sucking him in, allowing him passage to your throat, vacuuming your cheeks to add additional pressure, gliding your hands up and down the slick shaft to assist you in touching every single bit. Yoongi is thriving. He can’t believe his luck. The hottest girl in the complex, the girl he’s secretly pined over, is sucking his cock as if her life depends on it.

You’re salivating at the act now, saliva spilling out your mouth as you continue to envelop his cock quickly. You slip it out of your mouth to lean down and lick and suck at his balls, which makes him hum in absolute pleasure. You don’t remain long—his cock is nearly pulsating with desire. Your mouth returns to its rightful place and as you’re licking and sucking and pumping and stroking him, you maintain even and sensual eye contact with him.

You want him to know this isn’t a chore, a means to an end. You want him to know you’ve dreamt of him fucking your throat raw every night since you moved in.

Yoongi got the picture pretty quickly. His mouth drops open as he openly gapes at your work, giving him probably the best and hottest blowjob of his life.

Your tongue swirls at the ridge of his head and Yoongi feels it snap—the tightness that holds everything back. He fucks desperately into your throat, relishing in the feel of your gagging and moaning. It didn’t take long until he was seeing it through to the end, pumping hot white ropes down your throat while he moaned out your name with a string of expletives.

The immoral pop noise your mouth made as you pull off his cock makes the blue-haired landlord standing above you moan.

“Fucking hell—where the fuck have you been all my life?” he sighs as he cups his hand under your chin. He beckons you back up, desperate to kiss you. You oblige and return to standing, pressing against his body to pull him in to a dirty kiss.

“Upstairs, apparently,” you murmur.

He swipes his tongue on yours, tastes himself there, and decides he wants to taste himself on you all the time. His hands slide down to your ass, the g string still curving down the line. He snaps at the straps as you kiss, making you puff a laugh against his lips before pulling away.

“I’d be willing to fix your leaky faucet in the bathroom if you let me eat you out,” he offers.

You’re tugging him towards your bed, knocking over multiple fans in the process, and flopping onto the mattress, landing on your back.

“Throw in fixing the squeaky wheel on my closet, and you’ve got yourself a deal,” you joke, spreading your legs to give him the tiniest clue of what lays between.

He sighs dramatically with a smile, “Needy tenant,” before he slips down to hover over you. He intends to kiss and lick every part of your body, starting with the tits that hypnotized him.

“Can’t believe you opened the door like that,” he chuckled as he plucked a nipple between his fingers and lightly rolled it. “I thought I was dreaming.”

The feeling is instant, electricity sparking at the tips of your nipples and warming its way around your body, directly to your cunt. You’re absolutely certain that by the time Min Yoongi reaches his mouth to your core, he’ll drown in it.

He moves forward and wraps his lips around the bud, allowing his hands to travel to the neglected one and to squeeze and pinch and prod. He’s rewarded with your beautiful sighs and gasps—it’s sweeter than any song he’s ever heard.

He presses your tits together and rubs his face in the cleavage there, making you gasp and laugh at the same time. He gazes up at you and flashes his gummy smile.

“I’ve really wanted to do that,” he admits, which makes you giggle again.

“Be my guest,” you approve. He takes your reply and does it again for just a moment, before he’s kissing and sucking at the flesh of your breasts. He wants to mark you, leave a piece of him for you to remember every time you see yourself. You moan in appreciation and rub your thighs together, desperate at the ache that grows with every nip and nibble of Yoongi’s lips and teeth.

He seems to understand and trails down, kissing and sucking at your long torso, abdomen, hips. He leaves little bruises everywhere and you want them to last forever. You want him to mark you and claim you as his own.

His fingers slip around the thin straps of your underwear, and he tugs them right off. He’s unable to stop the loud moan when he notices the slick that strings between them and your folds. You’re drenched, and he marveled at how excited you were about him.

“Fuck, babe—” he sighs as he lowers his chest down to lie in front of your spread thighs. Your center is weeping, slicked with your arousal and he can tell you’re desperate for friction, for anything. “Look at this perfect fucking pussy.”

You whimper as you can feel his breath so close to where you need him.

“Yoongi, please,” you whine. “I’m so fucking horny.”

“I can tell,” he hums. “Keep moaning my name like that and I’ll make sure you’re always horny and ready for me.”

He lowers his lips, hovering millimeters from your slit. He holds it there as he watches your anguished face nearly burst at how close and yet how far he is, before he obliges you and presses into you.

You gasp at the first swipe of his tongue on your clit. He maintains a soft up and down motion on the nub and you’re already seeing stars. He steadily increases the pressure and the speed, then spices it up by swirling his tongue around in different shapes, spelling out his name on your cunt with his tongue to remind you just who got you this fucking soaked.

Your legs falter and quiver as he slips his tongue deeper inside you, licking into your hole and nearly drinking you up. He pulls back and devotes his attention to your clit and your moans turn from soft gasps and pleas to loud whines as he slips his fingers into your cunt and slowly fucks you, spreading you out. He’s not small by any means, he feels he can get you ready to go.

“I want you to cum for me on my tongue,” he states, matter-of-factly. “I want to feel you on my fingers.”

You nod, plucking at your own nipples with one hand as the other seeks purchase in his hair.

“Can you do that for me, babe? Can you cum for me and get my hand nice and drenched? I want to lick it off my fingers.”

His fingers get frantic and he splits his time between suckling and laving at your clit and encouraging you with illicit requests and praises.

Yoongi continues, never letting up or even giving an inkling of a hint he’s tiring. His hand works like a machine and he slips yet another finger inside your heat, making you arch off the bed. He licks at your clit with just the right pressure, and he picks up the speed and it sends you tumbling towards your orgasm. You feel the breath leave your lungs as it hits you, core and channel muscles squeezing him tight and legs shaking around his body. Your moans echo off the small apartment walls, only drowned out by the sound of the fresh air-con still running.

“Oh, my god Yoongi—” you pant. “I’ve never cum so hard from oral in my life.”

He pulls his fingers from inside you as you come back down from your high and chuckles at your words. True to his promise, he lets the slick glisten on his finger and marvels at it, before he’s popping the fingers into his mouth and sucking them clean.

“You taste so fucking good,” he compliments, and it makes your chest tighten and tips of your ears turn red. “Fuck, I could eat you every fucking day.”

You smirk, still sensitive but feeling the desperate ache inside you needy for him and his thick cock. Your legs spread open as he lays between them and you’re wiggling your hips to get his attention.

“I’m sure we could arrange something in my lease for that,” you tease. “I could suck your cock hourly, honestly.”

He groans as he sits up between your legs, cock resting heavily on top of your mound. It’s so close, so close to where you need it to be. You appreciate the thick member as it rests and as Yoongi catches his breath. It’s thick and long, on top of your mound the tip reaches to the tiny swell of your stomach. You know you will not be able to walk tomorrow, that’s for sure.

“You’re telling me I could have been going down on you and been getting my dick sucked by the hottest girl on the planet this whole time and all I’ve done is give you shit about rent?”

You stifle a laugh and spread your legs open wider. “Looks like it. We better make up for all that lost time, don’t you think?”

His cock is rigid, almost stone, and he agrees heartily.

“Fuck yeah, we should. I’ve been dreaming about being inside you.”

He sounds so dirty, looks so sinful—it’s all so much and you’re almost begging for him to take you.

He reaches down to the pants on the floor that dropped and shimmies a condom out of his wallet. You send him a look that he silences with a roll of his eyes.

“Every dude has one, chill,” he mumbles. “I haven’t gotten laid in like a year and a half.” He pales as he realizes what he just said. “Not that it matters. Or that I care. Or that you care—christ can we fuck now please?” He asks as he rolls the rubber onto his stiff cock.

You’re laughing a bit, not at him but with him, and you lean up on your elbows to kiss his lips. “If it makes it better, I haven’t gotten laid in 3 years so I’m the loser by comparison,” you assure.

He wants to ask you how the fuck you haven’t gotten laid in that long because you’re the hottest god damn person he thinks he’s ever seen, but he realizes he doesn’t care and that it works out in his favor because Yoongi doesn’t like competition.

“Looks like the landlord needs to fix yet another problem of yours,” he winks as he lines himself up. You lean back onto the pillows and sigh as you feel the touch of his head right at the opening of your slit.

In one slow motion, he slides himself to the hilt. It’s tight, so fucking tight even after one orgasm, and Yoongi nearly hollers at the feel. He’s sure his eyes are rolling back in his head. It’s warm and tight and wet and even through a condom he’s in absolute bliss. He’s hoping one day he can try it without—fuck you raw and stuff you full of his cum.

He’s still inside you, and after a moment to breathe and adjust to the thick girth of him, you’re whining. “Yoongi, fuck me, I need you so fucking bad.”

A feral groan leaves his lips, and he’s off, beginning a pace that has him hoarse from moaning in no time. He’s never felt so good inside a cunt before, never understood how some men could do crazy shit for ‘magic pussy’, but now he gets it—he realizes he’d probably do some dumb things for a chance to be inside you again.

“Oh, yeah—” you whine. “S-shit, you’re so fucking big, Yoongi. Fuck me nice and deep.”

“Mmm, yeah? You want me to bruise your cervix? Want me to make this cunt remember my fucking cock?” He thrusts harder, pushing into you with diligent speed and intensity. “Gonna make sure you can never cum from another cock again, only mine.”

You’re losing your breath with how hard he’s fucking into you, both your moans and pants coming out in quick little bursts between his thrusts.

“Y-y-yes! Yo-o-ongi! Right there!” He hits a spot that feels so good, and you feel the pull towards orgasm tighten.

“God—you feel so. fucking. good.” he emphasizes with a thrust. “Need to feed your tiny pussy my dick every day, hm? Needy little cunt needs my thick cock.”

Tears form in your eyes. The depths he reaches inside you nearly scrambles your brains—you forget everything that isn’t Yoongi and his perfect thickness spearing inside you.

“Yoongi! Gonna c-cum!”

He goes harder, becomes rabid for your second orgasm and wants to feel the way you squeezed his fingers on his cock, knowing the channel will feel even impossibly tighter.

“That’s right, good girl,” he praises while he maintains a punishing pace. “Let me see you cum on this cock, baby, wanna see that pretty little pussy all creamy for me.”

His thumb rubs at your clit, moving it in circular motions, and diverts his eyesight between watching your full tits bounce and your lips open and close in pure bliss. You’re the definition of fucked out and Yoongi feels a surge of testosterone at the sight—knowing he was responsible.

“O-oh! Th-there!” You’re frantic and he can tell you’re right on the edge. He goes even faster, deeper and harder, and it’s the final straw. You’re catapulted off the edge and thrown headfirst into your orgasm. As he suspected, your perfect cunt pulsates around him like a fist and he’s groaning and stuttering as it triggers his own release.

It takes a few moments for both of you to come down, before he pulls his softening cock from within you and disposes of the condom. You’re breathing hard, and he’s smiling at the sheen of sweat on your body.

“Good thing I got that AC fixed today, hm?” He asks as he leans over to kiss at your lips.

You grin and pull him down to lay next to you, snuggling into his body. He holds onto you and kisses your head. He feels a level of contentment he’s never felt before.

You break the silence. “Now, as the landlord’s girlfriend, do I get any special perks? Like you’ll throw the utilities into my rent? Free cable?”

He chuckles against your forehead. “Not a fucking chance, babe.”

#bts #bts imagine #hyungsmutsociety #ficswithluv #ksmutclub #bts smut #bts yoongi #bts suga #yoongi smut

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moon-nymphet · 3 years

Note

Hcs or scenario (whatever you like!) *warning extreme angst* oikawa, kuroo and osamu with a crush. They mutually like each other but never made a move to progress anything. One day another girl comes along and the boys move onto them instead. Crush is upset but accepts it and backs off. A bit later the boys realise the new girl they’re with was just something fresh and new and they don’t actually like them. They want to go back to oh crush but they already have no feelings for them anymore 😢😢

i swear i cried real tears while writing this, i love destroying my own mental health (∪ ◡ ∪) and ahhh this took me so long to write bc i’m so freaking insecure about the quality of my writing, i’m sorry this is so bad but there u gooo ♡

♡ we could have been something ;; haikyuu

warnings: angst, rough language

kuroo

you know this type of friendship where the limits are so difuse that the rest of people beggins noticing you had a thing for each other ? that’s what kuroo and you have had for the longest time

kuroo and you spent most of your time hanging out together, you went to see him training and he always called you his girlfriend in front of his teammates just because he loved to see you all flustered, you worried so much about each other almost like a couple, and you were even starting to get along with kenma, so you knew for a fact that you were into each other, or at least that’s what you thought ??

as you two were pretty childish you used to bicker all the time, nothing serious most of the times because none of you could get away more than a day without talking to each other, and when you had this little arguments it was about silly things that didn’t matter

that continued being like that until this day kuroo started reproaching you that he was so tired of trying without a result — “you seem to fucking ignore the obvious signals i’m sending you y/n, are you playing the dumb role ??? i can’t continue like this anymore, i’m sorry but i met this girl and she showed me clearly that she wants to be with me as more than a friend” — and leaving you completely broken, he suddenly walked away from your life without a previous warning

at first you felt so guilty, it was true, you were a bit shy and insecure, but you thought he liked you just the way you were ? but then you understood well how things were in reality, your silly ass thought you two had something meaningful

sure it hurted to see him walking hand in hand with the stereotypical mean girl from highschool movies, but you know the worst part of this ?? it wasn’t her fault, it was his and only his. and that’s what broke you the most

things continued being the same for a while, and to be honest, it was a bit hard at the beggining, but when you finally realized you were just his toy, his distraction, you felt nothing but repulsion towards him

and that’s on why you rejected him so coldly when he left the girl that he “truly loved” to come back to you; yeah he did. and you knew he was regretting so hard leaving you, but you simply couldn’t trust his feelings for you anymore

“please y/n ... i acted like a horny teenager, i just knew things were gonna be easier with her and i was starting to lose hope in having something more with you, but it’s you, it’s always been you” kuroo kneeled in front of you, holding your hand to prevent you from leaving. but you couldn’t do other than looking at him with eyes full of pity, knowing from the beggining what you would say to him

“i’m sorry. i can’t. i don’t trust you anymore kuroo. it was so hard for me, you know ?? you abandoned me without a fucking sign of considerateness” as you abrutly let go of his hand and turned away, leaving him there, tears started falling from the corner of your eye, but no. you weren’t going to turn back to him, you wouldn’t do such harm to yourself

oikawa

were you aware of his reputation ?? the answer is yes, but you felt so happy when you were around him that you didn’t care in the least. “people talk when they have nothing important to do, this boy is such a sweetheart” is what you thought when tooru oikawa started paying you more attention than he did with other girls

he is every girl’s dream, a cute boy who treats you like an absolute princess. toruu took you on inifinity of dates, and you always had such a good time with him, time went by so fast when it was spent with oikawa. you saw life in pink when he picked you up with his car and stared at you, just to let out a “you look so fucking stunning today my little cutie”

at that time you didn’t really understand why you didn’t formalize things once and for all; he looked interested in you and you tried your best to let him know that you were into him too, the intimacy between you two was beggining to grow, you started doing more and more things together, everything was so idyllic it was hard to believe it was all real

but soon you saw the true colors of things, it didn’t take you that much time to learn that oikawa didn’t want to confess he really liked you because he didn’t want to lose all his fangirls.

it was such an ego-booster for tooru to know he had plenty of girls willing to do everything just for a night with him, that he had a big catalogue of girls to choose which one he wanted to have fun with

it’s not that he didn’t like you, it’s just that he wasn’t confident enough for you, and it showed when you saw him flirting with another girl in front of the high school entrance, his lips so close to hers they weren’t touching for a milimeter, leaving you in a big shock. that situation made you feel the dumbest shit ever, you knew who you were dealing with but you thought he was going to be different this time

yeah, you were the dumbest shit ever for believing that

although you waited anxiously for him to call, toruu never called you again from that day, and you couldn’t help but feel so ashamed of yourself. you knew you were fucked when you started feeling sorry for yourself, being such a desperate and ridiculous ass for some fuckboy that didn’t gave a shit about you

a good two weeks had to pass for you to start feeling better, because even if you knew you weren’t his girlfriend, you still felt betrayed. it hurt to see how you were nothing special for him, so replaceable it was even impressive

and talking about impressive, that’s how i’d call the fact that tooru had the audacity to text you after some time like nothing hapenned. “are you angry with me ???” — and the truth is that you weren’t angry, you were never angry with him, your feelings were deeply hurt but that’s all

“tooru ?? what does this means ?” after hesitating for a while if you should text him back and trying to resist the temptation, you ended up doing it

“it means please open the door my little cutie, i’m outside your house ” you couldn’t believe your eyes to what you were reading, but you went and opened the door for him to find out what all of this was about

“can i... ??” the tall setter grabbed your chin with his long and fine fingers, bringing your face closer to his. you didn’t even have time to react, oikawa didn’t finish his sentence but instead he pressed his lips against yours. you were absolutely freaking out, that leading you to break the kiss when you realized what was happening

“the fuck you think you are doing tooru oikawa ? you think you can come here after a whole ass month and act as if nothing happened ??”

“please listen to me y/n, it wasn’t my intention to hurt your feelings, i’m sorry if you felt that way. i realized i truly want to be with you” he intensely stared into your eyes with that look of his. it was so alluring you almost gave in, but that wasn’t happening

“i’m not one of that hoes you can fuck one time and never call me back, i’m not that type. you keep saying you’re sorry about me feeling that way, not about what you fucking did. i don’t like you anymore oikawa and i regret so much that i did like you some time ago. and please now i’ll have to ask you to dissapear from my life”

he looked at you for some seconds with watery eyes before leaving without saying a word, and you genuinely weren’t able to tell if he was feeling that way or he was faking it. but that’s it, your story with oikawa tooru, your first and last kiss with him

osamu

your relationship with osamu was so difficult to describe, like, really difficult. you met him some years ago when you started going to inarizaki high and you didn’t really click with each other, but you soon became a great friend of atsumu

and that obviously carries seeing osamu frequently as he’s atsumu’s twin brother and they had quite a good relationship. don’t be mistaken, it’s not that you suddenly clicked and everything was amazing between you two, no

everything remained the same, and i could even say that the tension between osamu and you grew bigger because you simply couldn’t be around the other without bickering and disagreeing on the littlest of the things, that leading to atsumu having to stop you from fighting

but who says that tension wasn’t sexual at all ?? — because if you say so you’re completely wrong. it was so luring for you when he was just as sarcastic as you were with him, or when you said you were fucking tired of his shit and he came up with a defiantly “and what are you gonna do about it, huh ???”

it could be said that you were never attracted to easy things, and that included persons. it was easy to see you hated each other in such a lustful way it could turn into love without none of you noticing

and i’m not gonna lie, that’s what happened, but maybe you weren’t confident enough to confess when you noticed the feeling that started invading your heart. it was difficult to believe it could be reciprocate, but the same thing happened to osamu

none of you gave in to the feeling and things just happened to grow more tense as stupid as it may sound, leading you both to a cloud of confusion about what you should do. sadly, things don’t go always the way we want them to go

that’s what you learned when you were hanging out at atsumu’s and jealousy suddenly consumed you on the spot. osamu nonchalantly entered the house with a girl you didn’t knew, and went all the way to his room with her without even saying his usual “hello you dumbfuck” to you, closing the door behind his back

you couldn’t help it, and you stormed out of the house without even giving atsumu an explanation, you needed to be left alone with your thoughts

for the next days you couldn’t bring the face of that random girl out of your mind for a second, she looked like she knew what she was going to do when she entered osamu’s room, and you wished so bad you were her

but that’s what you got for not confessing on time

even though it was difficult, you had to get used to seeing the boy you like with other girl, and with the pass of time, it became easier and easier. maybe it was because you were starting to feel nothing for him but rage, rage because he didn’t notice you were so into him, or maybe he just didn’t care because he didn’t feel the same

sometimes you would think rationally and in a lucid moment, you realized it was your fault for being a coward ass and not confessing, but that didn’t matter at all because now you were over the romantic feeling, it was just regret what was left, maybe something beautiful could have happened

after some time, atsumu asked you what was going on that day, and now that you weren’t sensitive about that topic anymore you decided to be honest with him and tell him the truth. you could see the anguish in his face and you couldn’t tell why, but you understood it all some days after when osamu came to your house with a nervous aura and you felt even more dumb if it could happen

“i think i like you quite a lot... you dumbfuck” (yeah as you can see you had a beautiful nickname) he let those words out with an annoyed expression in his face

“oh no this can’t be happening now” you thought to yourself. “...samu ??... and what about... her ??”

“i left her y/n. i don’t wanna be with her if i can be with you, she was just the band-aid for my wound... you.” osamu directed his grey gaze to the floor, his expression softened as he confessed this to you. you couldn’t help but break down into tears, this couldn’t be happening to you. “hey... why are you crying y/n? are you okay?” concern showing in his voice

“it’s just that i feel like a true dumbfuck samu.” you tried to smile through your tears and downplay the matter but it was impossible at that point. the boy looked at you with a confused guise, tilting his head to one side and furrowing his brows. “i’m sorry love... i don’t feel like that”

“but tsumu said...” — his words were interrupted by you placing your index finger against his lips as you directed your teary gaze to him.

“not anymore samu... it was a while ago. i’m deeply sorry, you can’t even imagine how much and i hope you can forgive me for being such a dumbass” you tried to say it in the softest way you could because you truly were feeling like that

“hey y/n. don’t worry. it’s not your fault. i get it, come here” you felt osamu’s arms taking you in a tight embrace, giving an end to a beautiful story that didn’t even got time to start

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haravath0t · 3 years

Text

A Christmas Heist Pt. V - Confrontations

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Warnings: inaccurate depictions of technology, depictions of violence, flirty Bucket, an actually big word count

Hi guys! This is it! The final addition of “A Christmas Heist”! I am so so glad to have been able to write this out! Of course, this part will be a bit longer than the previous parts, as this is the final part after all. I must thank @world-of-aus immensely for going above and beyond for these action scenes! Without her, this part wouldn’t be what it is! Thank you once again to @hailhydra920 for putting this wonderful request in for the holidays! It was a nice request to kind of dip my feet into the water, as this is my first mini-series! There will be an epilogue to be an official end to this mini series! That shall be posted Monday night! As always, feedback and commentary are deeply appreciated! What did you like? What did you not like? What do you guys wanna see? I’d love to know! Thank you and enjoy reading!

A Christmas Heist Masterlist

Main Masterlist

“So you wanted to take a look at the MacBooks that we offer right, Miss?” Steve asks with feigned enthusiasm, keeping up the facade until you two were for sure alone on the table, far away enough from anyone to hear. Steve takes a look around one more time before he whispers, “Okay, so… this should be the section I think. I tried looking for it on the other two tables to your left, but they weren’t there. The serial numbers were getting a bit close, but not quite.” Bucky lightly clears his throat and looks around, adjusting his cap. “Well, it’s the last table with the MacBooks, we can take a look here for sure.” You take another cautious look around, resisting the urge to take the different colored wig that you have on off. “Well, why don’t you two pretend that you’re looking at MacBooks? I have a feeling that it could be here.” You whisper softly. Steve looks at you and nods. “Well, be careful Y/N. I double checked these employee drawers too. No luck anywhere. Shelves may have to be it.” You nod in understanding and waste no time into searching for this darned hard drive.

“Well these MacBooks are said to be our highest selling so if you’d like to take a close look at each one,” Steve offers, voice raised slightly as another employee walks by the three of you.

“That’ll be perfect, thank you,” Bucky gruffs, “should we need any further help I’ll send my husband to find you,” you add. Steve nods and keeps up his raised voice, “No worries, ma’am. Take all the time you need. And umm… and yeah, just take your time,” Steve says softly, turning red as he stutters the last part. You shook your head in embarrassment as you turned away from the blond super soldier who was scratching his head. You look cautiously through the display, pretending to look through the specifics of the MacBook on display before looking at the settings to examine the serial numbers. The search kept going, you were on the brink of bursting due to your frustration, until. “Got it,” you whisper, trying your hardest not to show a huge smile as you notice the serial number perfectly aligns with the serial number that you had written down on your little piece of paper. “You got it?” Bucky says with a hint of excitement as he goes to you, Steve following suit. “Yeah! It should be the one!” You say excitedly. “The hard drive from what I remember should be in these shelves behind us,” you whisper, motioning at the products behind you.

“I’ll cover for you,” Steve offers, with Bucky nodding in approval. “Yeah so will I. I think you know this techy thing more than I do.” You playfully roll your eyes, starting the search from the box of airpods that were stacked along the shelf. “It’s just a different type of package that we’re after, Buck. Nothing much really.” Bucky only scoffs as he keeps pretending to look at MacBooks with Steve, looking around cautiously. However, his eyes widened. “No… oh hell no…” He grunts under his breath. “What is it, Buck?” Steve whispers, looking around even more cautiously. But then his answer was arriving at full speed.

It was Rumlow, striding his way into the store, eyes looking around the store, but for what? You three would not even know. “Shit.. shit shit shit…” Bucky mutters in frustration. “Y/N, sweetheart, if you have found that damn packaging, you might as well tell us now.” He whispers in a harsh tone into the comm. “Seriously, Buck? Don’t rush me, I’m about more than halfway into the stock!” The two men hear you say into their earpiece. “I think we have every right to rush you right now, doll. We’ve got company. Your 6 o’ clock.” You hear Steve say in a pressing tone, causing you to turn around right behind you to see Rumlow approaching what must be a fellow Hydra agent. Your eyes widen, rushing your process on that shelf. “Oh come on… come on..” you tell yourself, heart beating fast as you try your hardest to find that packaging. But then you soon see it, a white box of the same size, but no, it did not show the image of a pair of AirPods, it was just blank. No little text, nothing.

“Y/N… Y/N, come on let’s go.”

“Y/N! Stop. Put it all back.”

You couldn’t. You couldn’t stop now, you’re so close.

You were about to reach for it, but quickly jumped when you felt a tap on your shoulder.

Shit.

You sighed in relief when you see Bucky, quickly tensing up when you see his stern face. “Did you not hear me and Steve? We gotta put this back.” he orders, stealing some of the boxes to place quickly back on the shelf.

“But Buck I almost got i-”

“Yes you did. But this isn’t the time and place to obtain that right now. They can’t know that we know!” He hisses, holding your hand after putting away the last of the box, leading you to Steve. “We’re lucky if they do not plan on moving this out of this section, do you u-” Bucky continues, but you hush him. “Steve, come on, escort us out.” “Don’t you dare interrupt me, sweetheart this shit’s dangerou-”

“Shh! Rumlow is near…” you whisper quietly, rubbing your nose. Steve wastes no time when he fakes to reorganize the MacBooks in their rightful place. “Right, I’m so sorry we could not fit your needs, ma’am. I do hope you do reconsider.” Steve says and you both nod. “It’s alright. Give us time to mull it over today, Andy. I think I can get my husband to change his mind. Thank you.” You get more weary when you see Brock looking at the three of you with a suspicious eye. You were glad when you saw that the other two noticed. “Thank you for coming to the Apple Store. I hope you enjoy your day,” Steve says as he walks you both out, making it clear to the employees. “Alright, I found that there’s an alternate route to get out. If you want to go to the parking lot, try to go through Bloomingdales, walk around the building, cross the other plaza, and then the lot is on the right.” Steve whispers hurriedly and you two nod, trying your best to go out as smoothly yet swiftly as possible.

“Steve, I need you to keep watch of that package. We gotta see where they move it. Please.” You whisper into your comms shakily, clinging onto Bucky’s gloved hand as you quickly walk into Bloomingdales. “I think you need to keep watch of something worse. Or someone.” You hear him say, causing you and Bucky to look at each other in realization. “Fuck,” You groan as the two of you quicken your pace. “Yeah… I know… Rumlow heard from a fellow agent you two were going near the package. If you haven’t gone through Bloomingdales. Now is the time.” You hear Steve say imperatively. The pace has quickened, the strides were longer, and your grip on your boyfriend’s hand is long gone as you two made your way down the escalator to the first floor quickly and out the door.

Once you two were out, the walking quickly turned into running. Bucky hears the door hurriedly open as well as fast footsteps. “Shit, sweetheart. Come on let’s go through that outdoor mall. It might be a shortcut,” He grunts, you two quickening the pace as a whole group of pedestrians start walking across the street, you two blending in quickly in the middle of the group. You turn around to see Brock a bit far behind you. But this was not the end.

You had to keep up the strides once again, trying to avoid bringing the security into the mix, so you stayed with the crowd of people. Luckily it came to the point where everyone was squished against each other’s bodys, you weaved through the crowds alongside Bucky, getting yourselves closer and closer to the parking lot. “Drop your jacket.” Bucky orders, you look at him in shock. “What?! Why?! What for?” “Misdirection, sweetheart,” He says grabbing your hand once you take it off, leading you towards an empty alley, making you have a run for it. “You’re so crazy! I love this jacket!” You hiss, your heels clicking against the concrete as you ran alongside bucky. “Oh shush, I’ll buy you another one. Drop it… now.” He says, resulting in you throwing down the jacket as you sharply turned to your right when you got to the sidewalk of the busy road beside you. Sure enough, you hear Brock’s hurried footsteps echoing far behind you.

You two quicken your pace, hopping into Bucky’s motorcycle, you in front of him, his arms wrapped around your torso. The engine roared before you two quickly zoomed out of the farthest exit possible, quickly weaving your way onto the busy road and hiding the two of you behind cars. “You know, I should be driving that so you don’t gotta worry.” You hear Bucky remark. You smile. “Sometimes, your girl needs a turn. Payback for making me let go of that jacket.” You couldn’t help but snicker at how lost Rumlow looked around running in frustration with the jacket of yours clenched in his hand on the sidewalk. He may have been smart and burly, but boy, was he clueless out in the open. You knew Bucky saw it two as the lights turned green, starting on your journey home.

“He must be so lost.” You remarked, giggling as you concentrate on the road. You smiled when you felt Bucky’s chuckle rumble onto your body, playfully groaning when Bucky playfully kisses and nips at your neck. “I bet… you ran fast on those heels of yours two… proud of you…” You playfully huff, shaking your head. “Well I’m supposed to be mad at you. You know that jacket is Christian Dior?” Bucky only chuckles into your neck. “Like I said, I’ll get you another one.” A smile cracked on your face, shaking your head. “How are we like this after what just happened?” “It’s our job, sweetheart. Sure it’s a bit panicky when we are on the field, but hey… there’s nothin’ you and I can’t do.” He says into your ear. “Yeah… you’re right…” you chuckle, turning a right to go inside the parking lot of the apartment complex. “Let’s just hope he has doubts that it’s you. He must know it’s me for sure.” You snort. “Nah… Wore a cheaper perfume today in case of run-ins like these.”

“Jesus, you’re a genius, sweetheart.”

“Can you two remember that I am still on the comm with you guys? At least turn it off.”

You called the manager to say that you were going to be late today. Bucky promised that he’d stay alongside the pouty Santa Claus to make sure no one apprehends you or Steve. You sigh shakily as you watch Steve unlock the door. “Deep breaths, doll. I know you hate the idea of being in public doing this, but we are here a good hour before opening time. So you can do this with no problem. You’re disguised. So let’s hope. We ran through this plan three times last night. Trust your instincts.” Steve reassures you as he opens the door for you. You nod, thanking him as you quickly went to get the small box. Fury knows. They’re waiting for you guys to finish this.

“So it was in there, huh?” Steve asks, as he sees you hurriedly make your way to a laptop that he just turned on. He’s already getting flustered at how the default home screen turned into another black screen filled with numbers and letters. You only nod, concentrating on the task at hand. “What are you doing?” Steve asks softly, as he looks around, trying to find a way to pass the time. “Altering the firmware to install a backdoor.” You simply respond as you type furiously at the keyboard.

Steve only nods, shaking his head and scratching the back of his head. “Shouldn’t have asked… no idea what that mean-”

“Done. Okay next.”

His eyebrows raise. “A-Already?!”

“I hope you have your shield in handy just in case.” You mutter as you keep on going. “I do… Yeah, Buck has it in the case Brock goes after ‘im.” He responds, visibly confused at your work. “What are you gonna do, Y/N?” He keeps questioning, preferring to know what you are doing than sitting in silence. “We’re gonna load surveillance and let headquarters control their softwares at boot up. They can have cont-”

All thoughts were halted when the glass doors burst open, showing a couple of men and women storming through. “Shit,” you mutter, “I got it,” Steve grunts as he moves forward, “you keep working I’ll keep them off you as long as possible.

Steve wasted no time as he rushed forward taking on the first man that ran at him.

Your eyes fly back and forth between the men rushing at Steve and the screen.

“You good?!” you call as he’s kicked to the floor only to jump right back up. He licks the blood from his lips glaring at the men in front of him body guarded as he keeps them from getting to you.

“Keep going Y/N,” his eyes meet yours, “I could do this all day.”

You want to make a remark but the middle goon runs at him, and Steve’s legs sweep up and out sending the man arms up and spread out right into the other two. Your eyes dash back to the computer screen, “Give me two minutes!”

“Don’t worry about me,” he grunts, “get it done!” Your fingers continue to clack against the keyboard, muttered curses falling from your breath as you will the damned machine to hurry, Steve could only go so long against three men with the other two standing guard by the door.

The machine beeps, “I got it Steve!”

“Gr-” he takes a fist to the face, the force enough to send him back towards you. A gasp leaves your lips as you fall away from the device.

Your hands are reaching for your friend, but one of the men gets brave as he rushes you, his hands fisting into the back of your shirt. He sends you flying back, your body skidding away from Steve and into the two by the door way. You have but a second to react, the two standing guard by the door now moving at you. Deft fingers reach for your hidden holster, your fingers hooking around the taser disk as you quick flick it to the goon that had sent you flying back.

They may be quick but you’re quicker.

He goes down in a shock before he can reach the computer, “Steven the hard drive - AH!” you get out, “You’re not going anywhere, rat,” the girl by the door hisses as she pulls you back. “Looks like we have more than one rat,” the other calls out as he kicks the hat from Steve’s head, the kick sending him back into the displays. The goon turns his head to the others, “Take her out,” he mutters, “Let’s worry about this traitor here.” You’re scrambling on your feet trying to find some leverage against the pain radiating from your scalp as you are thrown from the store.

You’re not up quick enough as they lock the door, the grey walled barricade coming down, a sinister smirk kissing the lip of the hydra goons.

“Steve!”

“Steve’s not the one you should be worrying about, Mrs. Claus, or should I say Agent L/N.”

Chills creep up your spine, and you’re turning slowly on your heel, eyes hard as you glare at the man before you.

“Rumlow,” you grunt, he wipes at blood splitting his lip. “Gotta say agent you all almost had us, but that sly trick of yours,” he steps forward, “You know... the one where you took my keys, that agent that’s where you really fucked up, did you really think I wouldn’t notice,” he tsks, “figured you all might be smarter but then again, think I prefer it like this, you’ll be easier to take down.”

Rumlow advances on you then, his body slamming into yours as he takes you down around the waist. You scrabble to get leverage, the base of your palm meeting his nose.

“Bitch,” he grunts as he falls off to the side, your body moving to stand. Your eyes fall to the store where the commotion is even louder.

“I wouldn’t worry about your friend there,” Rumlow spits a grin appearing on his face, “he’s not going to last very long.”

You’re the one charging now as you creep closer, your body dropping slightly as you let your leg sweep out and send Rumlow right back onto his back.

“You won’t last long out here either.”

“We’ll see about that,” he growls his fingers pressing to his ear as he mumbles something foreign to your ears. Your head snaps to the side where the grey gate is slowly lifting, the goon that had thrown you from earlier waiting for the gate to fully lift.

Shit.

You watch as Rumlow pushes to stand on his feet, his stance unfaltering as he waits; it’s not long before the door to the store is being pushed open, the goon falling out, grunts and crashes coming from within the store.

“You see agent, you all thought you were slick, but really we knew all this time, just like Fury sent in his rats, we’ve sent in ours.”

Your eyes widen at the news, “Oh don’t look so shocked, it was never going to end well for the lot of you, though I wish it would have, you’re not such a bad kisser,” he smirks, “we could have been something you and I, but I guess maybe in a different world,” he hums. It’s a split second before they’re both charging at you, one leg swings out as your foot meets the agent’s chest knocking him back only slightly as your hands grip at Rumlow.

You climb the burly man, your fingers reaching for the garrote hidden in your boot.

You hook the wire around Rumlow’s neck, tightening it around your fingers as you pull roughly. Rumlow chokes as he tries to knock you off, you don’t see that the goon has gotten his bearing and is now charging at you, but it’s not like he would have made it a step closer.

“Y/N!” you hear Bucky scream, “Duck!”

Your eyes flash up, seeing Bucky running at you shield in hand, the jingle of the bell from his hat and shoes being heard. He stops mid stride to throw the vibranium shield towards you. Your fingers tighten on the metal string in your grip, your body tilting back as you and Rumlow fall to the side, the shield whizzing past you.

It takes the goon in its path down, knocking three more in its way out.

“About damn time Buck,” you hear Steve shout out, the ping of the metal meeting face reaching your ears.

You couldn’t help the hopeful smile that appears on your face as you see the blond super soldier run to the door and catch it successfully, using it to knock out the other agents coming at him. You try to get up, making the wire retract on its own, the main objective to get back into the store. You yelp when you feel a strong hand grab onto your ankle, making you thud face first against the tiles of the mall. By instinct, you kick your heel against the face, hearing Rumlow groan as you get up. You hear a crack and you look behind in shock, seeing the burly elf pinning Rumlow in the ground, landing a hard punch at him, the blood from his face matching the redness of the Santa costume. “Go! Go get that thing and let’s get out!” You hear Bucky exclaim to you, you only nod and push through the glass doors, hopping over the unconscious bodies to get to the laptop, taking the hard drive out of the port for good measure. Sighing in relief, you tuck it in a secure place and quickly run to Steve as he gets his shield.

“Come on, let’s go,” Steve says as you nod, paging headquarters to quickly get the agents that had participated into custody. You two run out and see Bucky throw one final punch before Brock is unconscious, bloody face and nose evident. “BUCKY STOP! COME ON!” You exclaim as you and Steve make a run for it. It is only a few seconds until Bucky catches up with you, quickly running to the car. You three quickly left, more than ready to go straight to the med bay.

Permanent Taglist: @world-of-aus @world-of-aus-reads @whew-oh-em-gee @tomholland-96 @lordyitsjordy @letstalkaboutsebbaby @thee-soom-soom @lookiamtrying @vesper852 @hailhydra920 @buckybarnesthehotshot @heyiamthatbitch @rodrikstark (If you would like to be included in a tag list let me know via ask! ❤️☺️)

#mcu #steve rogers #steve rogers x reader #bucky barnes #bucky #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes scenario #buckybarnesxreader #james buchanan barnes #bucky barnes fluff #a christmas heist #bucky barnes series au #mcu fanfiction #mcu imagines

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aaronhotchnersquarterzip · 3 years

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Meeting You Flipped the World Upside Down - Or Maybe Just Mine

Welcome to Chapter 8! There are 10 total chapters to this fic and an epilogue so were close to done. I really do want to thank everyone who has read this, it means the world to me :)

Summary: Reader has been a rut, stuck in a never ending cycle of college worries and job interviews. Never did she think that SSA Aaron Hotchner, or Agent as she likes to call him, would walk into her favorite late night diner and flip her world upside down. And he for sure didn't expect to fall in love so quickly with the soon to be college grad. They navigate finding love and working together to rediscover what that means for each of them.

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner X Female Reader

Word Count: 1.2k

New Seasons

Move in day has finally arrived. Aaron was lugging the heavy boxes while you and Jack were having a pillow fight on your couch. When he finally finished hauling all the boxes from the U-Haul he joined you and Jack on the couch. Ruffling his son's hair and kissing you on the cheek.

“I can see your day was tiring you two, how heavy are those pillows again?”

“Very heavy daddy, Y/N and I had a hard time carrying them.” While Aaron was distracted messing with Jack you quietly grabbed the pillow from behind you and hit Aaron in the back of the head, stunning him momentarily before he burst out into laughter. Followed by Jack who also threw a pillow in his dad's direction but was caught off guard by Aaron catching it and throwing it back at him.

“You're both in for it now,” and with one foul swoop he grabbed you both, one in each arm, and tickled you each to death.

“Daddy please stop,” Jack squealed out in between laughs. Aaron had a devilish look on his face as he slowed his motions on Jack and continued tickling you.

“Please daddy stop,” you whispered, as quietly as you could at the present moment, into his ear. That was one way to get Aaron to stop, his eyes darkened slightly before being attacked by Jack again. That's how the night went, Aaron and you set up the apartment while Jack took naps on the couch and watched TV. It was straight out of a movie, your perfect little family.

It all came crashing down at once when Aaron started loading Jack and his belongings back into his car. You kissed Jack on his head before hugging him goodbye, he was holding it together much better than you were. Aaron was next and if it weren’t for Jack you would’ve been in tears again.

He pulled you into his chest and kissed the top of your head, “I’ll be back after your first week back, you can show me around and make an old man feel like a college kid again.” You sniffled and laughed slightly.

“You already act like a college kid Aaron. Please don’t leave.” You knew he had too and you couldn’t be mad about it either, it was just a lot to handle all at once. It felt like everything was being stripped away from you.

He pulled back and wiped your tears, “baby, please don’t cry. I’ll be back, I promise. Make the most of your time here. We’ll be waiting for you.”

“You’re right. I know you’re right.” You kissed him deeply and sighing when you pulled back. “I’ll see you in two weeks, I love you and drive safe.”

He kisses you once more, “I love you too sweetheart, I’ll text when we get back.” He engulfed you in another hug before getting in his car and driving away.

Just as you were making your way inside your apartment building your phone buzzed, you answered without hesitation.

“There's no way you’re home yet Agent.”

“I really miss you love.”

“I miss you too Agent, please get home safe and call me later, okay?”

“Okay dear, I love you.”

“I love you more Aaron.”

With that the line clicked and left you completely and utterly alone in your empty apartment. You slid down the closed door and started to cry. Yearning for Aaron’s embrace and the feeling of home. You decided to text some of your friends from campus, seeing if anyone was up to going out to a few clubs. Luckily, your friend Sabrina, whom you met in freshman year psych class, was always down to party with you. You met up at her apartment with a change of clothes and some vodka to pre-game.

“If you always bring my favorite I can do this every weekend all semester,” she grabbed your hand and pulled you into her apartment.

“Thanks for being down, I just needed to get out.”

“I’m always here for you girl! We can head to the bar on 15th to start. I know it's your favorite.”

“You know the way to a girl's heart, let me take a few shots and then we can call an uber?”

“Great plan my friend.”

It was indeed not a great plan, five hours later and you couldn’t figure out where in the hell you were. Sabrina had left your side, or maybe you hers who knows, and you were in a loud bar god knows where. You were normally a fun drunk, Aaron had witnessed it and so had your friends, this was not a fun drunk type of night. The panic was finally setting in, your paranoia only heightened once you started dating Aaron. You felt horribly unprepared and tears sprung to your eyes. God all you wanted right now was Aaron. Well, you always wanted Aaron but you just wanted to not die and he was your best bet.

You searched your pockets until you found your phone, the screen was blurred so you found a quiet corner and used Siri to help you call Aaron. He picked up after one ring, “are you okay, you haven’t picked up my calls all night.” He could faintly hear music in the background, “where are you?”

Taking deep breaths you responded in slurred speech, “I don’t know Aaron. Um, I lost my friend. I'm sorry.” You were almost in tears again, god he's gonna leave me.

“How much have you had to drink baby? Can you call an Uber or can you hand the phone to someone who's sober.” You quickly scanned the room for a bartender or waitress of any kind and finally found one who you ran over too.

“Can you tell my boyfriend where I am please?” You waved the phone in front of her and she sympathetically grabbed it from you, giving Aaron the address.

When she handed the phone back Aaron was waiting for you on the other end, “sweetheart, I ordered you a car they should be outside in a few minutes. Keep me on the phone with you and let's go wait together okay?”

“Okay. I’m sorry Aaron.”

“It’s okay darling, let's just get you home and we can talk about it tomorrow.”

When the car came and dropped you off Aaron was still on the line, “go drink so water honey and go to bed. I’ll call you back in the morning. I love you sweet girl.” As bothered as he was, he was just happy you were home. He could never stay mad at you. You however, didn’t think Aaron was going to be okay with it, dreading the future call.

“I love you too Aaron, I’m sorry.”

“Nothing to be sorry for baby, I’m just happy you’re okay. Go to bed and I’ll talk to you soon.”

“Night Agent.”

He smiled when the line went silent, he may tease you about the “Agent” nickname but it’s his favorite name if it's coming from your mouth. In such a short amount of time you became his entire world, behind Jack of course, you didn’t know it yet but he wasn’t just waiting for his girlfriend to finish college. He was waiting for his future wife. Sometimes you just know.

#aaron hotchner fanfic #aaron hotchner fanfiction #aaron hotchner #aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner x female reader #hotch fanfiction #aaron hotch x reader #hotch x you #hotch #getting drunk #sad #college #move in day #beginning of the end

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wri0thesley · 3 years

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many many anons under the cut bc i didn’t want anyone to feel like i was ignoring them and i wanted to respond to u all! warning for small text too, it was so long i wanted to make it look smaller fgbnjkgkjn

Anonymous asked: NAT... you can write WHATEVER you want! It's your blog, and I hope that rude anons can learn to respect that. I used to be on your blog just for jjba content too, so when you started getting into jjk I was indifferent but eventually you dragged me into jjk so hard!! I already like bnha, so seeing you write for it only made me happier! I hope that you continue to write whatever make YOU happy:) ❤and yes, longer fics certainly doesnt mean it's better, quality over quantity

ahh i’m happy that you are here for all three!! i always feel so accomplished when someone is like ‘your constant screaming made me think about jjk <3′. all three of the fandoms are fairly popular and i tag everything v carefully so i hope people who do use the filtering find that useful!!!

Anonymous asked: Goodness gracious. People really be out there thinking they're entitled to dictating what kind of content you should be making

i think part of it might be that i do take requests so people feel like they have like . . . a certain right to certain kinds of my content? i take requests mostly bc they keep me motivated, i like making content for ppl who cant find what they want bc i’ve Been There, but maybe people think i am a pushover? idk i am just trying to have a good time!!!

Anonymous asked: Hi. I only started following you a few days ago but please ignore that rude anon. People are so fucking entitled towards writers it's insane. I recently had someone throw a fit for "spoiling" something in my fanfic, even though the fic was about a manga-exclusive character, so what did they expect?? Overall I've really enjoyed your writing so random assholes coming to guilt you is just a shitty thing that happens. Keep going with what you wanna do.

ah gosh anon i’m sorry about that :(. i’m always super careful tagging spoilers and stuff but like, if someone clicks on a fic about say, naoya or the steel ball run boys and is mad that i spoil something they havent found out yet . . . yeah thats on them fgbnkjgfkjn

Anonymous asked: That...that anon had the nerve to say "we". The fuck?! No no no anon, YOU'RE the only one talking and you're just talking for yourself, don't you dare try and lump us other anons/followers up with you to make yourself look like you're right. We love you nat and we appreciate you. It's your blog, you're allowed to write about whoever and whatever. This brain dead anon just needs to either go read someone else if they're that salty or write their own stuff if they're that impatient.

gosh i WISH some of my mad anons would just write their own stuff honestly. idk if this anon thought they were talking for everybody but i guess they expected anons to agree with them and not be mad at them. i appreciate u anon ;_;

Anonymous asked: Just want to say that ily and you’re one of the best jojo fanfic writers in my opinion 💗 I don’t think you’re half assing jojo fics and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with you being multi fandom. A lot of jojo blogs have started posting about jjk so it’s not as if you’re the only one. I’m not sure why you get hate like this but I think it’s just because you’re one of the popular writers and that makes people bitter for whatever reason. Keep being you and posting about the things that make you happy 💕

honestly after so long writing for jojo - i’ve written well over 200 jojo reader insert fics - sometimes it feels like i’m retreading stuff, and that’s when i take a break bc i dont wanna half-ass stuff!!! i love all of my fellow jojo friends who are posting about jjk too, i appreciate them <3.

Anonymous asked: Hey my dude, ur writing has really grown since the jojo days and its better and awesome seeing u become happier to branch off and write in different fandoms 🤌🤌 those stupid anons are just boring farts that couldnt be bothered making their own content 😤😤 is it possible to block them to ease ur mind?

hello anon!! i run a statcounter for IPs but it doesnt always work for ppl who access through the tumblr app, i don’t think; a lot of the anon hate i get i just use the ‘block’ option, but last night got to me because i’ve been getting that kind of writer a lot which is . . . a bad look for the jojo fandom who are, as a whole from the ones i’ve interacted with, lovely!!! <3

Anonymous asked: People often forget, the person behind art or writing, is just another regular fan. You deserve to be happy with what you create and we should be thankful you share your talent with us. You also have right to change your main interests, and it's very normal thing. Jojo is one of the MANY things that you write for and all you get from that is a like or share. Its not your job. It's your fun thing to do, in spare time. You haven't betrayed anybody. That person was just rude, selfish and bored.

i am just a person doing my best!!! anime fanfic is one of many interests i have and i already devote a lot of time to it honestly, i love when people tell me they’ve enjoyed something i made bc it makes it feel worthwhile but equally it gets to me a lot when people are rude because i am usually trying my hardest.

Anonymous asked: Bro that jjba anon... the entitlement🤮 Fam, you write whatever you want to write😤 -Saturday

dfnjbkjnkgf i find most fic readers are NOT entitled at all and are just grateful but when they are . . . oof.

Anonymous asked: It's funny how people throw "we got you popular" and they think you start apologize and cry. Your writing and passion made you gain few numbers on a follow counter, nothing more. I think I'm too old for stuff like this, we are nothing more, but +1 on a number scale. You ow us nothing, we ow you nothing. Popular... Funny word. You just write for fun of it, fake scenarios about someone's manga characters. It's not that deep. Have fun and don't listen to people like this. I knew it's not that easy, but they are really not that important as they think they are.

extremely fun fact for people who think ‘popularity’ is important to me: i would 100% rather have 10 people who regularly comment, reblog my fics with tags and interact with me than 100 people who read my fic and either leave a like or simply move on. i think this is true for the VAST MAJORITY of writers tbh. i’m glad that people think i am a ‘popular’ blog (i am not in the grand scheme of things, one of my ex-best friends used to run a kpop reader insert blog with like 30,000 followers) bc it gives me an ego boost lmao, but i really just want people to read and enjoy the stuff i write!!!

Anonymous asked: I followed you a while ago for jojo and when my friends started getting into jjk i was like...eh sounds like work...but now that I see you writing for it I feel really motivated to get into it!!! I really enjoy your writing and I want to be able to read the new stuff too!

ah anon i really hope you like it!!! it’s only one season rn if u wanna watch the anime and there isn’t too much of the manga to catch up on either but it is a lot of fun and it’s nice to be in a fandom that’s like, excited about a new chapter and new plot developments every week!

Anonymous asked: Pls dont reply if u dont want to! <3 I'm not sure if this will be of any help to you or not but this is the kind of thing that often helps me and is the only way I know to try comfort others so I wanted to give it a go~

Now im not gonna say 'dont feel bad pls' bc I know that's not really useful but what I do think is useful is just discussing why that anon and many others feel the need to respond that way. As someone who follows a lot of writing blogs myself and have done for a long time, i've seen my handful of favourite writers come and go for different reasons, lose motivation for a while, gain motivation for a while, go from multi to single fandom, or single fandom to multi. Often times as a reader it can be upsetting when things change but it's also important as a reader to understand that some things aren't in anyone's control, I can't control what my favourite writers become a fan of or lose interest of, I can't control things in their personal lives that may motivate or demotivate them to write, but what I can do is support them as long as they're active, and if they move on to do things i'm no longer interested in or i'm the one that changed interests, rather than being upset that they're evolving to do other things or that they're not evolving with me, I think it's important that I still feel thankful for the works that I enjoyed while we were still on the same page and this is how I personally deal with those negative feelings. I think the anons that lash out at you probably just dont know what to do with themselves, maybe they got attached to your works while you were still only a jjba blog and now that you're evolving they're upset, while I understand how they feel, they're going the completely wrong way about it. I've learned to take these things and turn them into something positive for myself or at least something bittersweet that I can move on from but the anons that lash out at you for whatever reason probably haven't learned this yet. Maybe it's because i've moved on and changed interests a lot myself that I know how these things go for both writers and readers but those anons maybe haven't experienced this as much so they dont know what to do with themselves other than complain that you've changed and throw insults at you in an attempt to get you to revert back. None of this is because of the quality of your writing like they want you to believe, it's literally just because you've evolved and while some of your old followers might not like the new content for no reason other than it not being their cup of tea, it's definitely not regressed at all. You are pumping out a lot of content right now but every single thing i've read has just been better than the last. Things that really stand out to me is how well you get characterisation down to a T and all of your dialogue is just on point and from the pov of a reader I think those things seem the hardest to get right so I am such a huge fan of your stuff at the moment and I can tell you're really putting so much thought and care into each and every fic no matter how fast you're producing it, I think the fact that you're also proud of what you're writing at the moment really shines through as well and I just adore the passion that radiates from every completed request as well as in the responses for the subsequent thirsts resulting from these works that appear in your ask box later (I know i've sent quite a few by now~)

Just to be clear i'm not defending those anons in any way, while I can understand what they might be feeling/why they're reacting in the way they are I still believe it's just so immature to be hateful online point blank. Even during a time where I still got upset with writers if they started doing something else I still never targeted that negativity directly to the writer and sending rude or hateful comments whether on anon or not never something i'd stooped low enough to do even when I still had an immature way of thinking, however, I hope that it might make it a little easier to brush them off if we try and understand what they're really upset about, and that they're just putting the blame for their negative feelings onto the wrong thing rather than coming to terms with change themselves.

hello anon!! i appreciate the long message. i do feel bad for people who have no interest in what i’m currently producing and i get that they feel upset about it; i’ve watched a lot of fellow jojo writers move on completely or just stop posting, honestly. this kind of thing is why i was so intense about asking people if it would be better if i made a separate blog but the resounding answer seemed to be ‘i’m just vibing with whatever happens and i’ll block tags as needed’.

i often return to works by my favourite reader-insert writers who no longer write for the fandoms i like (and i read stuff bc it sounds interesting or i trust the person who writes it), but change can be difficult and i guess at this point i’ve - whether u like me or not lmao - been a fixture in jojo reader-insert tumblr for a While so it’s probably kind of jarring.

anyway i really appreciate you and the nice words! <3

Anonymous asked: hi nat! I just wanted to pop in and say that regardless of what fandom you write for, the love and care you pour into your writing and into interacting with followers who care about your work as well is really obvious. you're doing this for FREE and people should appreciate what you've given us so far, since ultimately this blog should be for you, whatever that means to you at any point in time. it's ok to jump fandoms! the important thing is that you feel good about what you're producing and that it makes you happy. everyone else is just a bonus - but, seeing you on my dash certainly makes me happy : ) I hope you feel better soon!

thank you anon! i’m feeling much better and happier today. birthdays are very difficult for me (i did not think i’d be alive at eighteen, much less 25!) so this event is definitely kind of a way for me to concentrate on something else, and i’m a little bit extra sensitive atm. i appreciate you so much, thank you for the kind words!!! <3

Anonymous asked: Hello! I just wanted to say, write what YOU want and make YOUR writings as long as you'd like. 💖 To the anon who is like "We mAdE yOu FaMoUs dOnt HalF asS iT" stfu, let people do what they wanna do. If you think they half do it, write something better and longer you asshat.

this is an open invitiation to that anon to send me a link to their writing blog and i’ll hype them up i promise <3

Anonymous asked: nat i'm so so sorry about that ask please know that your older followers don't share the same opinion :( sometimes people forget about the living, breathing person behind the screen smh. you are not a machine. you absolutely should not restrict yourself to posting about one fandom forever. yes, we're first pulled in by your amazing content, but we stay for your wonderful personality and work ethic. please just keep being you, taking up projects you feel comfy with! <333 bless u

ahh thank u anon! unfortunately i actually am a writing robot, i’m sorry u had to find out this way. my jojo chip has been removed, please send it back so i can continue to not half-ass my jojo work. fgnjkbgjkfn thank you so much angel!!! i appreciate you ;_;.

Anonymous asked: i don’t think it’s fair for other people to say shit about what you choose to write about because on tumblr and other writing platforms, writers are constantly developing how they write and the fandoms that they write for. it’s not fair for someone to criticize that “you don’t care about jjba blah blah blah” because you can enjoy new shows/manga. and like you said you’ve grown so much!! proud of you nat and im glad that ive been able to read your works (sincerely other nat)

i am STILL waiting for you to come and fight me other nat fgnjkbnf. it’s nice to be enjoying different things! i am constantly learning new things and reading new works and making new friends and improving and i think that’s important. i do care about jjba - a lot! but i can care about other things too! <3

Anonymous asked: I may not be one of your oldest followers, but i've been here for almost 3 years. Yes, i started following u for ur jojo content, but let me tell u, ur newfound motivation and enthusiam for other fandoms was honestly contagiuos for me. And i say this as a person who finds very difficult to move from one interest to another. Jojo is great, but so are other fandoms. Please don't let some faceless scum rob u that motivation. This is ur blog and u r always free to write whatever u want.

honestly, i have been there! i am autistic and i have special interests and watching other people move on to stuff i’m not vibing with has made me sad in the past, but i want people to be happy more than anything and sometimes that means new things and change! <3

Anonymous asked: Hi Nat! I saw that rude anon message & I just wanted to pop in & say that they're wrong. You're not betraying anyone & you should write whatever it is you want to write. I followed you for jojo & I'm not familiar with the other fandoms that you write for, but personally it makes me SO happy to see you enjoying new things! It's always good to find joy wherever you can, so keep writing what you're interested in. There a lot of ppl who want to see you happy and healthy <3

honestly the idea of it being a GRAND BETRAYAL is so funny, i am just writing anime fanfic here and thriving!!! tysm anon! <3

Anonymous asked: Those anons can piss off! They have no right to judge how long or how short your writing is. If they want longer content write it their damn selves. I think your writing has improved wonderfully and I originally followed for Jojo and I'm enjoying all the content period. I don't even watch jujutsu ( not my cup of tea personally) but I love seeing the creativity and the interactions. You write what makes you happy Nat and that's on that! You don't owe anybody anything! I know how hard writing is and when your consuming new content it's hard to make content for something else. That doesn't mean you don't like it any more your just doing something different for a while. Love you and your content and I'm enjoying the love your putting into your content whether long or short. ♥♥💕 Sending love your way!

honestly my idea of ‘short content’ is still over 1k words, i’m not good at reeling myself in! i guess it’s bc they see like, 1.5k jojo fic versus 5k jjk fic but it’s not that i didn’t enjoy the first fic, just that the point and the story came a lot quicker and so did the natural end! thank you anon, i appreciate you ;_;

Anonymous asked: Hello! Just wanted to let your know that I think your writing is awesome, and that you should write for whoever and for whatever you want to! You dont have to stay loyal to one fandom or anything, and your followers shouldn't expect that from you! It's not like they are paying you to write, you are doing this for free, and because you enjoy it and it makes you happy! If they dont like your stuff, they dont have to follow you, they can go to other blogs that cater to their taste, and they definitely don't need to be sending you such hurtful comments, and they dont get to make you feel sad about your writing! Just because they followed you during your earlier stages of writing, doesn't mean you owe them some type of loyalty or compensation! You can write literally whatever you want as long as it makes you happy! That's what your hobby and your blog are for! I hope you know that alot of your followers love your work and think that you are an amazing writer and are down to support the work that makes you happiest! 💖💖

ahh thank you so much anon!!! i am always so bowled over by how many people are nice to me when something like this happens, i am sending you my love <3

Anonymous asked: don’t listen to them!! we love you as a writer no matter what you write, because you’re a good person and a talented writer!! you shouldn’t have to change what you write to please a bitter person, and if they only want jjba, they can go to another blog instead of bringing you down. you’re doing amazing and they should be thankful you grace us with your talents!!

to be totally honest, if i was half-assing or not vibing with content i was making i just. wouldn’t post it. like you’d be able to TELL when i was half-assing stuff just to get words out (source: i have re-read my own nanowrimo works). there are lots of great jjba blogs who could do with more followers n interaction!!! i hope they do find them and i hope they’re nice to them :(.

Anonymous asked: Please don’t pay attention to that anon. People only have that confidence when they have anon turned on. Them looking through your blog despite feeling that way is peak fan behavior and speaks to how addicting your writing is. Naturally, you can’t please everyone and there will be people who are irrational and feel entitled to tell you what to do or what to write no matter what. Trust me when I say they’re a small minority and are more likely probably passing viewers rather than regulars. I check your blog about three or more times a day because I love reading not just your fics but also your takes, banter with other anons, or even random updates. Brainrot posts? LOVE TO SEE IT!!! Desk update? AMAZING!!! With that being said, don’t feel pressured to continue pushing out content for others. Write what makes you happy! You’ve been writing for JJBA for 4 years and it’s completely normal + healthy to get into new media. I’m not sure if it would mean much, but your love for JJK has gotten me excited to start it too!!

anon i really hope you enjoy it!!! sometimes these anons remember stuff i’ve posted and said better than i do tbh, i am living in their heads rent free i guess!

Anonymous asked: I've been following you for a couple of years and honestly it would always be a joy to see when you posted. Your writing has improved and I'm very happy you're enjoying yourself ! I know it hurts hearing and seeing stuff like that but I'm happy you're here. I'm honestly blessed everytime you post. Your writing is phenomenal. I love reading it even if its characters that I dont care for. You capture their essences so well and weave an amazing tale within the prompts and whatnot. You're amazing nat!

wehh thank you so much!!! re: the improvement, i really don’t feel like it has and then i re-read something i wrote when i first started and i’m like oh my god maybe it has. did i really write about jotaro acting like that.

Anonymous asked: Hi Nat. I recently became a follower of yours and I'm really saddened to see you get hate. You seem like a genuinely sweet person with amazing talent! I'm a writer myself and, unfortunately, get the same kind of comments. And when you get those comments, it doesn't leave you feeling motivated. People need to understand that people can and will, at times, grow out of fandoms. (1 Not just that but you're doing all of this for free. Again, I'm sorry you got such a comment. But please know that I'm proud of how far you've come. I'm proud that you're living a life that makes you happy. And no matter what fandom you may find yourself in next, I will always enjoy your writing. Take care of yourself. (2 end

HELLO NEW FOLLOWER I LOVE YOU (i get a lot more a day now than i used to and i feel guilty about not being able to look through so many blogs but i do try and follow back other writers for my fandoms!! ;_;). i’m sorry you get the same kind of comments! i’m always just happy to see people i like enjoying new things, even if i have no interest in it (hello to all of my mutuals who write for hunter x hunter and haikyuu, not interested but i’m sure you’re having a great time and i support you!!!).

Anonymous asked: I'm sure you're getting a barrage of supportive messages now (at least I hope so) but I figured I'd add my voice, because I'm a longtime follower. Your writing is, and always has been, wonderful. I've been so happy to see you and Haz get to a place that works for you both. Idk if it's obvious for everyone, but you seem like you're emotionally in a pretty good place most of the time these days, and it makes me really happy to see that. I followed years ago for JJBA content, but I stayed because regardless of what content you put out, I find your wit delightful. And I'll stick around even if you move fandoms entirely, because whatever content or editorializing you produce is going to be worth reading, regardless of what it's for.

ahh, anon!! thank you for sticking around so long, sorry if you’re old enough to have been around the vore and jorts and spider rohan fiascos! <3 i am definitely a lot more stable than i have been and - barring the Pandemic Related Mental Health Issues - happier! i’m glad that it’s noticeable! <3

Anonymous asked: It actually makes me mad how entitled some people are. Nat, you're not a content creating machine and those who expect you to be are not worth wasting a thought on. Your love for something is not measured in word counts and for you to write every day without getting burned out in the slightest you really must have a burning passion and huge dedication to your craft. If others decide to send hate then allow me to send admiration because I can feel your love and hard work in each post you make!

i try and write every day bc it’s super good for my little ocd/autistic brain to have routines and distract itself, so i’m glad other people can enjoy them because that makes me motivated to carry on! like, i write for myself mostly bc the content i want i sometimes get find, but filling requests and writing for other people also leaves me with happy warm fuzzies too! i appreciate you!! <3

Anonymous asked: If people only care about your writing for the jojo porn that’s on THEM, not you. Your writing was amazing when I followed about a year ago, and it’s only gotten better and will continue to get better! I think it really comes through when you enjoy what you’re writing and it adds a whole other layer of worth to it, because not only are you making free content but you LIKE that content and we can all gush about it together!!! More than just fans, I think you’ve created a community here and we don’t just stick around to read smut, I promise you that. -Reronon

i do miss having a discord community bc it was nice to talk to everyone in real time but it was hard work, i am glad that people feel like they can just come into my askbox and gush! i’m not very friendly in real life and people tend to think i am cold and stuck up so i work very hard to try and seem friendly and approachable online, which is much easier for me because i get to think and re-draft before i type! <3

Anonymous asked: Hi Nat! I’m sure you’re getting a lot of messages like this right now but I just wanted to say for what it’s worth that, as a person who originally followed you for jjba content and hasn’t watched/read any of the other series you’re currently writing for, I’m honestly still along for the ride. This is your blog and you’re allowed to do what you want with it and put out what content you feel like writing. Sometimes??? People acquire new interests??????? Shocking! I know absolutely nothing about jjk or bnha but out of curiosity still read some of your posts about them and even though I might not Get It, I still enjoy them because I think you’re a very talented writer! Honestly, as long as you’re still writing, I’m still down to clown, and whenever you take breaks (which are important!) I’ll still be waiting for your return or supporting and respecting your decision to stay away longer. Don’t let the entitled assholes get you down. Utilize YOUR blog and YOUR space however YOU choose. Your talent and kindness speak for themselves. Love you!!! ❤️❤️❤️

anon i care about you and i am so appreciative of you and everyone for sending me such nice messages! i am running out of ways to say it but it’s true, it really does mean a lot to me ;_; <3

#nat.txt

13 notes · View notes

wreckofawriter · 4 years

Text

Can't Forget, Won't Forgive

Pairing: Draco Malfoy x Reader [post war]

Word Count: 3,420 (nice)

Warnings: Swearing, drinking, mentions of depression and anxiety, slight PTSD, a bit angst with fluffy ending

Request: @perfectlyimperfectcrystal: Can you make Draco x oc post war fic?

Summary: Four years after a war that she believed ruined her life reader is forced to reenter her past for a party with an unexpected guest [Reader is abt 22, 23 Draco is 21]

A/n: I ligit re wrote this three time, I could not figure out what to do and eveything I wrote was cringy as fuck, I'm so sorry this took forever, I'm hopping to finish up a few old requests soon. Love u all <3

Your heart seized in your chest. Everything in you was begging your legs to turn and run. You bit harshly on your lip, this was a bad idea, teeth sunk into flesh and you tasted blood. A really bad idea. The grip on your small gift bag tightened. You could turn around right now and no one would know. You felt like throwing up, were you panicking again? You couldn't tell your chest felt too tight. You could text Harry and tell him you were sick. It would be fine. You don’t have to.

You turned on your heels, tears nearly springing into your eyes as you opened the door to your car. You slammed it shut gripping the steering wheel and leaning your forehead on its center. Sobs stung your eyes as your knuckles went white. You felt so weak, this wasn't you, you had fought death eaters, saved hundreds, survived torture, killed people. Now you were crying in a 1998 Corolla because you were too scared to go into a house full of nothing but old friends? It was pathetic.

Your teeth found your already raw bottom lip, you sucked in a breath and released it. You could do this. You snatched the paper bag beside, left the safety of your car, sprinted up the porch steps and knocked three times before you could change your own mind.

You could hear shuffling inside before the door was flung open and you were greeted by a freckled red-head.

“Y/N!” George shouted, “We were beginning to think you wouldn’t show!”

“I guess I’m fashionably late.” You laughed awkwardly cringing at your own words.

The twin just chuckled, “Come in, we’ve got tons of food and even more alcohol because ya know were actually old enough to drink now.” He laughed dragging you inside.

You giggled your heartbeat slowing, “I missed you, George.”

“I missed you too kitty.” He answered by pulling you into a hug. You welcomed it, heart throbbing at the nickname his late brother had given you.

You followed the man into the house which was already crowded with people. What else could you expect of an engagement party of the Boy Who Lived? Although you were sure Hermione planned it. You ran into Ginny and made small talk, looking at the ring and congratulating her on her wins in quidditch. Harry then stole her away after a quick greeting explaining something about Seamus breaking a pool cue.

You were suddenly left alone, you took a deep breath. You decide a drink would be best, a beer or two would do miracles for your nerves. You found the kitchen surprisingly empty, you opened the fridge grabbing a beer. You glanced around for an opener but opted for a small knife in the block to your left. You popped it open and took a sip, the cold liquid giving you a warm sensation.

You hopped up onto the counter glancing out of the door and watching as George arm-wrestled Ron over a coffee table.

You snorted as the elder smashed the others arm down leaping to his feet and letting out a cry of victory. It still hurt a bit to look at him. Fred was so similar. But you would never let him know that you were sure he knew well enough himself.

You turned as you heard footsteps approach and your breath caught in your throat. Your eyes locked with deep grey as your heart stopped beating.

"Oh um hey y/n.," Draco spoke his hand scratching at the back of his neck.

You had heard that your life flashed before your eyes when you were about to die. You thought it couldn't be much different than the memories you had worked very hard to bury that flashed through you as you stared at the platinum blonde in front of you.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" You hissed your jaw clamped shut as you felt hot tears rise to your eyes.

"Oh, I was invited." His laughter was empty and suffocating at the same time.

Your eyes stung. You lept from the counter slamming the beer in your hand down so hard you heard it crack. Draco flinched.

"Y/n I-," The man rushed towards you grabbing your wrist.

Without a second of hesitation, your other hand shot up and you slapped him clean across the face. The sound your hand made on his pale cheek was loud, the smack gaining the attention of a few who sat in the living room.

"Stay the fuck away from me." You seethed stepping away from him.

"Y/n?" You turned to see Luna, her pale blue eyes wide. You couldn't even offer a smile as you turned, sprinting to the door.

You made it into the cold November air and realized it had gotten dark out. The light filtering from the house paired with the few buzzing street lamps cast a yellow filter over your surroundings. You fumbled with your keys as you made your way towards your car. You were leaving this time, that was non-negotiable.

“Y/n!” A small voice yelled from the porch.

You didn’t want to look up but you did. Your keys slid into the door and you twisted click, your it was unlocked.

“Y/n, please, I just want to talk to you,” Luna begged from the steps. You bit on your lip again, it stung harshly.

Turning you fought back tears as you pulled your keys from your door and stepped away from the car. Luna smiled softly at you. “It's good to see you, Luna.”

“It's great to see you y/n. I was quite disappointed when we lost contact.” She explained aloof as ever. “But guess you blocked us all out on purpose.” Blunt as ever as well.

You swallowed thickly not sure how to respond, she was right after all.

“It’s alright, no one blames you. You went through a lot. We were all very surprised to see you here today. George has missed you dreadfully.” She hummed leading you back inside where you could no longer see your breath. “I’m happy you came too. I always liked talking with you.” She continued up some stairs stopping midway and sitting down, patting the spot next to her which you took.

It was quiet for a while, you could hear laughter and music, a loud gasp followed by more laughter. You wondered if they were still arm wrestling. Tears clung to your eyes, you swallowed them but the world remained blurry.

“I can’t be around him, Luna.” You choked out, “Not after what he did to us.”

“He didn’t do anything to us.” She shrugged playing with her large necklace.

Your brows furrowed, “How can you say that? How can you say that after those months Luna?”

“He didn’t do anything, his father did.” She explained her eyes now trained on you.

“And where is he?” You spat, “In his mansion with zero consequences.”

“I suppose you’re right.” She mumbled, “But it does no good to take it out on Draco he didn’t do anything.”

“That’s the issue Luna,” You hissed, “He didn’t do anything. He didn’t do anything as we were locked in his basement.”

She hummed, “He couldn’t do anything.” You wished you could disagree, “He’s quite nice you know. It was a bit awkward at first but he’s quite nice now, he's going to be one of Harry’s groomsmen I believe.”

“What?!” You exclaimed.

“They are good friends now, he is quite nice like I said.” She had begun to fiddle with the ends of your hair, “He asks about you a lot. Always wondering how you are now and if you are going to come to parties and such.”

“He shouldn’t ask.” You huffed, “I don’t know why he does.”

“I think I do.” She hummed, you waited for her to explain but she didn’t. “He was just a child back then, he was a scared kid, we can’t blame what he did on him. He thought he had to.”

Anger fought through you taking your mind hostage. You could feel your face flush, eyes narrow, expression darkening, “You know what, I was a scared kid too, I was fucking horrified. He may get a free pass from the rest of you but he won't from me. I won’t forget what he did.” You seethed standing and walking down four steps.

“You wish you could forget though. I know you do. That's why you don’t return our calls or come to birthday parties. You want to forget yet you refuse to. You confuse me y/n.” Luna claimed. She didn’t stop you as you left the house, refusing to look back. You peeled out of the driveway less than a minute later tears of anger and frustration streaming down your face.

You got home and swore, finding the only liquor in the house to be rose strawberry tequila, something you had bought, opened and hated. You drank it anyway plopping down on the couch with cold pizza from the night before and turning on the TV to see an episode of some anime you couldn’t keep track of. The main character yelled too much and the main girl was obsessed with a boy. It pissed you off, a fuckin pushover.

You were about an episode in, swearing as a character whose name you couldn’t remember was flung from a rooftop. Your phone buzzed in your pocket, you flipped it open struggling to read the small writing on the greenish background. You gave up closing it and chucking it across the room as the boy stood back up blood dripping from the corner of his mouth. You cheered.

Draco isn’t sure what prompted him to show up at your doorstep at 2:32 in the morning. Maybe it was the constant nagging from Ginny or maybe the fact that you had seen but had not replied to his text or maybe it was the fact that he had been in love with you since he was 13, never had the guts to tell you, was forced into letting some fucked up things happen to you and now you wouldn’t even look at him. Or maybe it was simply because he was hammered. In all honesty, it didn't matter. All that mattered was that he was now banging on your apartment door.

You weren't quite sure if you were imagining it or not as you jumped from your sleep. The loud banging continued as you rubbed the sleep from your eyes, brushing your hair out of your face. You stood up head aching slightly as you felt a hangover in the near future. You stumbled towards the door swearing as you tripped over a chair leg.

“Jesus what!?” You shouted flinging opening the door. In seconds someone came stumbling at you. A body collided with yours at a fighting force knocking you straight to the ground. You shrieked feeling your lower back ram into your hardwood floor.

“Fuck sorry.” The body mumbled propping himself up straddling your waist, his hands on either side of your head. Draco soaked in your image, your cheeks flushed, eyes wide, lips pursed. “God you’re so fuckin beautiful,” he mumbled one of his hands moving to stroke your ruffled hair.

You slapped his hand away, jaw clenched, “Get off of me!” you yelled lifting your knee and connecting it with his stomach.

He wheezed face contorting in pain as you rolled him off of you standing up, “What the hell are you doing here Malfoy?” You spat his name like poison.

Draco now lay on his back staring up at your ceiling he groaned running his hand through his hair, “I missed you.” he mumbled upwards, “I missed you so fucking much.” his words broke.

“Oh my god, you’re drunk.” You groaned slamming the heels of your hands into your eyes.

“I'm not drunk.” He fought back sitting up quickly.

“Oh yeah?” You asked, “What's 2 plus 3?”

He furrowed his brows in thought, “23.” he replied about twenty seconds later.

“You’re definitely drunk.” You sighed.

“I just wanted to talk y/n and you wouldn’t answer my texts so I had to come here so we could talk.” His words were slurred and hard to understand.

“We have nothing to talk about.” You sneered, “Now get out of my house.”

“Please y/n, just for a few minutes.” He begged, getting to his feet and grabbing your wrists pulling you towards him, his breath was warm and smelled of beer as it wafted over your face.

You pushed him off cringing, “If I let you talk, will you leave?” You bargained not really caring where the drunk ended up.

He nodded vigorously, stumbling into your house a little ways before sitting back down, back against the small island in the middle of your kitchen. You slid down the fridge sitting across from him. For a second you thought he had fallen asleep, his head lolled to one side, his right leg stuck out straight, the other bent towards him. But he snapped to attention looking at you with wide eyes.

“Well?” You asked.

“Oh yeah.” He mumbled taking a deep breath, “I did miss you ya know. I always did. When we were in school you wouldn’t even talk to me unless you were yelling insults and god I wanted you to talk to me sooo bad. I was so fuckin in love with you.” He was interrupted by a hiccup, “And then everything started falling apart and my parents got mad and wanted me to kill people and I was so scared.” Tears welled into the blonde's eyes. His voice straining against him, “And then they caught you because of your dad, and- and I-” More hiccups, tears sliding down his cheeks, “I just wanted to help you and I couldn’t I was such a fucking coward. And I'm sorry y/n/n.” your nickname rolled off his tongue, “I so so fucking sorry.”

The kitchen was silent for a long time. The soft sound of sniffing and the drip of tears on tile. The hum of the refrigerator providing a background for the nothingness. Darkness almost seems to muffle everything, the only light coming from the time displayed on the microwave and the moonlight filtering through your few windows.

“Fuck Draco,” You cussed, “This is not how I wanted my night to go.” your voice wavered. You could feel tears sliding down your cheeks cooling in the dark air. You sniffed wiping your face. “Well I guess since your drunk as fuck and won’t remember anything anyway I might as well get some things off my chest.”

Draco gazed up at you his eyes rimmed with red, his pale cheeks blossoming with beer thirsted roses. He looked so fragile, like a glass figurine or a dried flower.

“I’m kind of a shit person.” You chuckled sadly, “I mean I try to blame it on my parents and their nuclear marriage, which was dead long before I was in the world, but they kept mercilessly reincarnating it like some sort of monster from an old movie. They yelled more than they should have, my dad especially, he had anger issues he blew up easily and never got help for it.” You had tears pouring so thickly from your eyes you could hardly see.

“I was messed up in the head, I was rarely happy and when I was it was only for a few seconds, I got panic attacks and I-” Your voice broke with a sob, “I never really dealt with it and you always managed to piss me off. Maybe it was the fact that you seemed to get everything you wanted or maybe that I always thought you were so cute despite the fact that you were a complete asshole. Hell, I had a stupid school girl crush on you from the minute I laid eyes on you and I hated it so much.

“And I don’t know, I pushed people away, fuck I broke up with Fred three months before he died because I was scared when he said he wanted me to meet his parents.” Your voice broke and you whimpered, “And then I got locked in your house because of my shit father and since then I’ve been avoiding everyone and everything hoping that I can just forget it all but being too stubborn to forgive it so I’m just stuck and it sucks.” You were sobbing now, “It sucks so fucking bad.”

Draco turned around and pushed himself towards you. He put his arm around your shoulders and tucked his head into your neck, inhaling your scent and mumbling something you couldn’t make out over the strength of your cries.

You woke up the next morning head pounding, eyes stinging as you opened them. You were sprawled on your kitchen floor, your lower back aching with pain. Your head rested on Draco’s chest, his legs tangled with yours, arm around your waist as yours rested around his neck. You groaned carefully sliding from his grasp, this was not how things were supposed to go. You were not supposed to be blushing because of Draco Malfoy. You huffed heading to the bathroom and taking a quick shower before changing into a pair of sweats and an oversized t-shirt. You walked into the kitchen crouching next to the man on your floor and poking his cheek. He didn’t even budge. You sighed stepping over him to your coffee maker.

Two hours later as you sat on your couch with a book in your lap you heard a loud groan from your kitchen. Rolling your eyes you stood up and made your way towards the newly awakened blonde who cussed as he attempted to get to his feet. His eyes locked with yours and widened, “Y-y/n?” he sounded mortified.

You smirked, “Good afternoon Draco.”

His cheeks blossomed with color as he ran his hands through his hair nervously, “Um what am I doing here?”

“Well, you showed up here at two in the morning drunk as fuck and proclaiming your love for me.” You explained.

He paled eyes getting impossibly wider, he slumped against your counter burying his face in his hands. “Oh, Merlin y/n I’m so sorry.”

You sighed biting your abused lip, “Look Draco, it’s not that big of a deal.”

He looked up at you, visibly confused.

“You said some crazy shit last night but so did I and I-” You sighed again swallowing harshly, “I would actually like to take up your offer on dinner, ya know the one you probably don’t remember texting me. We need to talk, like when one of us isn’t wasted and the other isn’t an emotional wreck.”

“Really?” Draco asked.

“Yeah,” You confirmed, “Can you pick me up at seven tonight?”

“Umm yeah.” He said not really remembering if he could but also not really caring, he would anyway.

You took a step towards him standing on your toes and placing a kiss on his cheek, “Thank you Draco.”

The man shook his head, “You did it wrong.” he whispered.

“What?” You asked, suddenly feeling his hands on your hips pulling you closer.

“I said you did it wrong.” He repeated.

“I know what you said, I just-” Your sentence fell short as he bent forward his lips inches from your own.

“Can I kiss you y/n?” He asked so quietly if you were any further apart you wouldn’t have heard it.

Your mind reeled but before you could really think about it you were nodding and his lips were on yours. He pulled you flush against him, you could feel his heart hammering in his chest, or maybe it was your own. His tongue swiped the seam of your lips and you opened them allowing him to deepen the kiss, he still tasted of beer and tears for the night before.

You broke away panting lightly staring up at his icy grey eyes. “You taste like shit.” You whispered.

Draco broke into a barking laugh, “You really know how to kill a mood.”

You shrugged, “You better brush your teeth before tonight.”

He smiled his heart still beating erratically, you looked so pretty with swollen lips, “Does that mean we are going to be kissing more?”

“Maybe.” You shrugged again smiling, “Now get out of my house Draco.”

“Of course.”

Taglist:

@accio-rogers

@roslea

@k3nz-doodl3

@theseuscmander

@sleepingalaska

Masterlist

#harry potter #harry potter imagines #harry potter au #harry potter imagine #draco malfoy imagines #draco malfoy imagine #draco x oc #draco fanfiction #draco malfoy x reader #draco malfoy x you #draco malfoy x y/n #draco malfoy #slytherin #harry potter fanfiction #post war #harry potter fanfic rec #fanfic #fanfiction #fandom

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navyhyuck · 3 years

Text

week two | previous | masterlist | next

𝐒𝐈𝐆𝐍𝐄𝐃, 𝐉𝐀𝐘.

↳ a love letter a week, and it has you wondering who’s your secret admirer. you have nine weeks, eight candidates, and one story to live. will you find out who your ‘jay’ is?

a/n :: here’s part two my sexy friends, i’ll be starting to add a little warnings tag from now on because parts will start to get longer and may include some triggering topics!!

wc :: 2.9k (i’m sorry it’s getting longer and longer i know)

warnings: mentions of sex (kinda, not explicit), a singular mention of death, someone’s borderline a bully but not quite (they’re just mean)

taglist: @childofthecycle @the8luvr @staywrites @chocolattees @cloudzume @babytoadz @cherrystay @sandaigdigan-reads @hoes4hoseok @ctrlaltfangirl @kodzu-ken @xazucaradictax @qtieskz @blueprint-han

couldn’t tag: @x-dawna-x

let me know if you’d like to be added to the taglist!

You’re listening to Ryujin go on and on about Han Jisung at practically 6 a.m. (okay, it was around halfway to 8 o’clock, but her words were making you lose track of time), your head resting against the cool metal of the locker, almost wishing you were banging your head against it instead. As much as you knew your friend had a thing for the boy, you never thought you’d be stuck in the middle listening to her over analyzing everything that happened in English the day before. Sure, the precarious boy could be outstanding at pipetting in chemistry, but his social skills weren’t the best. Or at least, they weren’t the best with you.

“Anyway, I’ll shut up now, you look like you just watched The Conjuring and threw up on yourself.” She exclaims rather dryly, and you raise your head, glimpsing at the questioning look on her face. “By the way, that movie was shit. I’ll get to the point, then. I was gonna ask who you’re going to homecoming with.”

You scoff, rolling your eyes at both the comment on one of your favorite horror movies ever (that you’ve watched four times already, each time with the same girl who insists it’s not scary but ends up peeking past her fingers anyway) and homecoming. “Myself,” you reply, returning your head to its original position. “Do I look like the kind of person that would go to homecoming with a date? Really?”

“You went last year,” she points out, and you realize it’s true with a groan. It wasn’t your fault that you couldn’t refuse the captain of the basketball team when he proposed the idea in the middle of the cafeteria, halfway through the sixth period. Honestly, San wasn’t too bad anyway, he just wanted to have some fun with a girl that wasn’t following after him in the general sheep crowd; after the night was over, however, you swore to yourself that you would never come to a dance voluntarily wearing stilettos without one of your go-to friends. “And you liked it. Plus, I was thinking, we should all get dates this year! You know, since it’s our senior year and all. You won’t have another hoco to miss after this one.”

“Get dates? You’re acting like it’s buying takeout.”

“It basically is,” she shrugs. “You go out, ask for something from someone, and they either give it to you or not. Though I’m not really sure if restaurants are allowed to refuse service.”

“We could just all go as friends,” you suggest, finally opening up your locker. “As great as having some random dude as my date, no thanks. Like you said, it’s our last year. And hoco’s been fun since freshman year for us anyway, what’s the point of setting us up with dudes when we’re just gonna ditch them?”

“Who said I’m gonna ditch my date?”

“Me, I just did,” you deadpan, shuffling through your books to grab onto your chemistry lab book and stuffing it into your bag. “Remember sophomore year? Yeah, you might not want to remember it, but I do. Lee Daehwi?” She groans at the sound of the familiar name, making you chuckle.

“Okay, fair enough, but I’m not gonna ditch my date this time. Not if I get the one I want.” Ryujin smacks your arm to grab your attention, making you hiss before you see the knowing look on her face as she wiggles her eyebrows. You cross your arms in confusion, trying to scan and rescan her face for hints to what she was getting at, but when your mind finally clicks, you freeze. And then, your jaw drops. “Shut up.”

“I-I didn’t even say anything!”

“I know what you’re gonna say!” She points at you, shaking her finger before bringing it back down. “Look, like you said, it’s senior year. I don’t have a chance, really, not after this one. Either I ask him out for homecoming in the next week or I mope around for the rest of my life regretting not going to a high school dance with the hottest guy in school. Yeah, okay, I guess that kinda does sound a little pathetic.”

You consider it for a moment, imagining how awkward the interaction between Ryujin’s infamous crush and her would be; there would be a whole lot of tripping at the feet and ten times the amount of stuttering. Plus, you’re sure that the boy didn’t have the heart capacity to receive a request without passing out cold. He’s a little fragile after all. “You think Jisung’s the hottest guy in school?”

“Duh, who else do you think? That Hyunjin dude? Yeah, maybe, I saw him a few times in the past few days, but so what? People just get hyped over some guy whenever they come to the school and like four days later he’s no longer a cool transfer student and just ‘the guy next to me in calculus.’” You give her a look, one that you hope resembles something that conveyed the message of ‘you just brought up Hyunjin completely unprovoked’ but she doesn’t budge, her eyes trailed on her nails as she continues. “...and I’ll ask Jisung. Chaeryoung said she’s going with that other guy from your chem, whatever his name was, him. So then, it’s just you.”

You’re reminded suddenly of the letter that you pulled from your locker a few days earlier, the one that followed after the previous introduction and pleaded for you to attend the dance. Even if the letter had never arrived, you were planning on it anyway, but now, you had a purpose. “I don’t really want a date,” you say carefully, your eyes darting across the busy hallway before focusing on the blue of your best friend’s hair. “I mean, I don’t know, maybe, whatever. I don’t feel like stressing out about asking someone, so maybe if someone asks me, I'll be their date. But don’t count on it, alright?”

Ryujin narrows her eyes at you, as if searching for something underneath (something that wasn’t there, you’d like to point out, but she’s still looking intently) before humming. “Alright, sure.” She finishes abruptly, clearly wanting to add onto her sentence but refraining from doing so, making you raise an eyebrow at her shenanigans.

“Spit it out, c’mon, I know you have more to say.”

Your best friend gives you a deadly look but considers it, resting her back against the lockers before turning back to you. “Okay, this is just a thought, got it? Just something running through my head right now that I want to share.”

You cross your arms. “A thought? You? Thinking? Well, that’s no good.”

“Shut up and listen to me first,” she waves you off, shuffling closer until you can see the glimmer of her eyeshadow smudged on the side of her winged eyeliner. “Think about this. You, Y/N, a beautiful girl with absolutely no intention on going to homecoming with a date because of the lack of attraction towards snotty teenage boys, asking the Hwang Hyunjin, a transfer student that’s extremely good-looking and apparently affectionately kind who has no intention on going to homecoming with a date because of the lack of connection with beautiful girls, to homecoming.”

You blink twice, looking up at the ceiling as you quietly process her words. It’s a bit jumbled in your head, but once you think it’s clear enough, you look at her. “Ryujin. May I express my feelings about this ‘thought?’”

She scans you up and down, and then nods.

“It’s absolute bullshit.”

“Hey!”

“I hate my life,” you say to yourself as you swing open the door of your car, stepping out rather impatiently onto the asphalt. Having forgotten to grab your psychology notebook at the end of the day, you found yourself taking an unwanted U-turn back to the school to pick it up; in your defense, you would rather maintain your A in the class even if you had to stop by the gas station on your way back. Like you were told, a class requires commitment.

You march your way into the school once again, wondering why the school officials never thought to add any precautionary measures to the buildings. It makes you wonder if someone had ever snuck onto campus since you were a freshman. From the very deep memories of your sophomore year, you remember a junior at that time sneaking in one of his friends during finals week thinking he’d get away with it. Honestly, Juyeon was something else.

Just as you make your way to your locker, you quietly scroll through your phone distractedly before seeing a text pop up in your infamous group chat.

[3:05 p.m.] chaechaer: guess what guys!! :D

[3:05 p.m.] praying mantis: don’t wanna guess

[3:05 p.m.] hwangji: she’s finally getting dick

[3:05 p.m.] chaechaer: i’ll fucking bite you yeji.

[3:06 p.m.] hwangji: bite me baby i wanna see you try

[3:06 p.m.] you: spill c’mon

[3:07 p.m.] praying mantis: y/n.

[3:07 p.m.] praying mantis: why are you at school right now

[3:07 p.m.] chaechaer: gasp

[3:07 p.m.] chaechaer: looks like i’m not the only one getting dick

[3:08 p.m.] you: oh fuck off, i came back bc i forgot something

[3:08 p.m.] you: wait did you just say ‘not the only one’

[3:09 p.m.] hwangji: so you ARE getting dick???

[3:09 p.m.] hwangji: spill mf, right now

[3:09 p.m.] you: ryujin, are you checking my snap location rn??? hello??

[3:10 p.m.] praying mantis: ofc i am, i’m your guardian angel :)

[3:10 p.m.] you: you’re a stalker

[3:10 p.m.] praying mantis: but whose dick are you getting? that’s the real question

You roll your eyes as hard as you can, hoping that your best friend would know even from a distance. Just as you continue to tap furiously into the glass of your phone, you’re suddenly hit by your left shoulder, sending you flying down to the ground in an instant. “Shit,” you whisper under your breath, brushing your hair out of your eyes well enough to look up and see that the hard object you just ran into wasn’t a wall. In fact, it was a human.

“Watch where you’re going,” the boy snaps at you, rather loudly in fact, making you flinch as you slowly stand up, gathering your phone. “This wouldn’t have happened if you weren’t on your phone. Who walks in a hallway with their head down like that? Do you want to die?”

It takes you a minute to realize who’s actually standing in front of you, and it’s only when you’ve managed to gulp down his harsh words. Seo Changbin. He looks at you from head to toe, the scowl still evident on his face when your eyes widen. Suddenly, you’re a little more aware of yourself, shifting uncomfortably in his gaze as he doesn’t move.

“Well?” He crosses his arms across his chest, now approaching you. “I don’t hear an apology.”

You instinctively back away, avoiding the boy’s eyes before you’re looking right back into them. If you weren’t mistaken, there was no one in front of you until there was, and there was no way that you could’ve ran into someone without noticing their presence earlier. Scoffing, you mimic his posture, looking behind him to see if you’re right about your assumption. In fact, you are, seeing the door of the locker room staring right back at you. “Me? Shouldn’t you be watching where you’re going?”

Changbin looks taken aback by your retaliation, somehow making his forehead lines fall into a straight line. “Don’t talk back to me, bitch.”

“Bitch?” You want to laugh, but instead, you press a smile down. “Seriously? Who do you think you are?”

You’re honestly appalled at the way the admired swimmer is acting towards you, but you’re not surprised. You would be lying if you didn’t say you weren’t in the faintest surprised. The entire team could act like a handful of bullies that didn’t have any other free time on their hands, if you looked into it more. Changbin seems to be dissatisfied with your answer, closing in on you as your back presses against the wall.

“What did you say to me?”

You’re about to respond with an equally harsh answer but there’s a sudden call of Changbin’s name from the end of the hallway, making the both of you turn your heads. Yet another swimming team member comes jogging your way, sporting a school branded shirt that tells you exactly what he’s part of. The boy stops a few feet away from the two of you, a large smile spreading across his face as he looks from Changbin to you. You scratch your head. Is Bang Chan currently standing in front of you? Or was it just a figment of your imagination?

“Hi! What’s your name?” He asks, coming closer before glancing over at Changbin and stopping. “W-What? Wait, what? What did you do to her?”

“I didn’t do anything!” Changbin defends immediately, making you raise an eyebrow as he holds up his palms. “I didn’t! Nothing happened, Chan. It’s all good. Let’s just go now.”

Chan doesn’t budge when he grabs onto his arm, tugging to pull him away, but he instead focuses his attention on you. His smile persists. “Hi sweetheart, judging from the look on your face, he did do something, right?”

You’re taken aback at his soft voice, a complete contrast from what you just heard from the other boy. Pursing your lips, you try not to let your cheeks flame up. Sweetheart? “It’s nothing—he just ran into me and tried to pin the whole thing on me—it’s all good, really. I’m fine, I didn’t get hurt. So…”

“You didn’t get hurt? But he ran into you?” Chan shoots Changbin a sharp look, one that looks much darker than the gaze he returns to you. “Are you okay? It might’ve been a hard fall. I can take you to the nurse’s office, if you’d like?”

“N-No, it’s fine!” You shake your hands in refusal, an awkward chuckle leaving your lips. Chan only laughs brightly in response, his entire face somehow appearing ten times more charming than before. You notice with another fleeting glimpse that there are dimples that crease into his skin as he smiles, now making your heart do an unidentifiable leap inside your chest. “Um, okay, I actually have to go now! I’ll, uh, yeah! Bye!”

You turn in your heel, trying to walk at a casual but extremely quick pace at the same time, which proves to be difficult. Just as you’re about to turn at the corner, there’s a shout from down the hall.

“Hey!” Peaking your head back, you see Chan waving his hand at you. “What’s your name?!”

“Y/N!”

“Nice to meet you Y/N! I hope to see you around!”

Gulping, you lean back against one of the lockers near yours, placing a hand over your chest as you finally notice the thumping. You take a deep breath, shaking your head a few times to get the entire situation out of your head; it doesn’t work, not with your brain taking you back to that exact moment once again. You just spoke to one, no, scratch that, two extremely talented swimming players with your own two eyes. And perhaps the rapid beating of your heart wasn’t just because one of them was being nice to you. But you wouldn’t admit that now, would you?

dear y/n love,

hi hi! i’ve missed talking to you (yes, i know, there’s no way you can respond to me, but anyway), but this letter will be unfortunately short today. please don’t think too much of it! my class is about to end, haha.

i saw you at one of the swimming meets a few days ago, and oh my god, i really couldn’t take my eyes off of you. i don’t know if anyone has ever told you, y/n, but you are so beautiful. i remember what you were wearing; was it...a black shirt? and jeans, oh yes. your sense of style is so simple yet somehow so perfect. i couldn’t even take my eyes off of you, oh god, i remember all my friends yelling at me to pay attention but all i was doing was staring at you. sounds like a problem, huh? but i enjoy it. shit, this sounds kinda creepy again, doesn’t it? i’m so sorry, love, that’s not what i was going for. i just...really admire you. a lot.

also, the homecoming game is this weekend! i hope you end up going, you can even go with your friend! the blue-haired one, yeah, ryujin, i think. that’s her name, right? oh god, you probably think i’m even weirder now that i just told you that i know your friend. fuck. anyway.

once again, i hope to see you there! there’s something waiting for you there and i want to be able to surprise you, even if i don’t want to reveal my identity just yet. see you soon, love.

signed, jay

#inkidz #stayhavennet #kpopscape #skz fluff #skz series #stray kids scenarios #stray kids fluff #stray kids fic #skz x reader #skz au #stray kids series #stray kids writing #skz angst #stray kids angst #stray kids au #stray kids x reader

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vanchlo · 3 years

Text

The Partner / Chapter Twelve, "The Resolute"

Word Count: 8.4k / Story Masterlist / Read The Assistant / Read on Wattpad / Song: Hold Me While You Wait by Lewis Capaldi (click to listen) / Warning: Sensitive and upsetting topics, such as death, grief, and miscarriage

"I never know when I will miss you. I can't ever predict just what will grip my heart with the reminder that you are gone. It could be anything. Anytime. Anywhere. You are everywhere and nowhere all at once. When the days are bright, I am blinded by your presence and even when the world is dark I still manage to find you. In laughter, I hear the echo of losing you. Your presence is overflowing in the tears that fall. Now that your body is gone, everything holds your being. I miss you in the cold depths of winter and I long for you in the thick summer breeze. You are my first rising thought in the morning and my last notion as I sink into the heaviness of the night. I thought we ran out of moments together, but every moment seems to belong to you. How can you be everywhere when you are nowhere to be seen? I used to worry about facing the world because I didn't know what would trigger my heartache. I used to be afraid of every feeling, every memory, every moment because I didn't know which ones held you. Now I know you are everywhere and I think that I know why. You're everywhere because you're somewhere inside of who I am. I am the bearer of your life and your memory. I am the keeper of your existence. Even though you're gone, I never really have to search for you. I never know where I'll find you but you are always there. I never know when I will miss you and it happens all the time"

- Rachel Whalen

I had lost count of how many times I had fallen back asleep since he had left for another day of work, the second time in the last few days. I’d be telling a lie if I said that I didn’t miss him, because like he’d confessed when he thought I was sleeping, I missed him all of the time too. The difference was that I felt it now when he was gone. I wasn’t sure why I’d bitten his head off that night about going back to work. I did but couldn’t think about it after the way he broke down in front of me and I just stood there. I didn’t do a thing. Instead, I shook my head and pushed him away. God, how could I do that to him? I thought he’d moved on . . . That’s how it went. I’d wake up to an empty, cold bed and the guilt would come in crashing waves. The hot tears would follow and eventually, I’d fall back into another fitful sleep. Nightmares were almost always guaranteed, but for the first time in our relationship, I comforted myself back to sleep. Somehow, they didn’t wake him like before, but last night when he woke with a gasp that melted into tears, I think I knew because he was busy with his own.

At first, I thought I’d been imagining it, or maybe that was just my coping mechanism by now. Denial and pretending. No, it really was and it went around like a circle. Denying the denial. But when the knocking on the door turned into the dinging of the doorbell, I knew that it was real. It didn’t stop after a few times, like the mailman would. No, this person was persistent, and I definitely was not. I couldn’t even find the strength to move to look at the alarm clock to see the time. By then, it had stopped. He’d only been gone an hour now and I missed him deeply, finding it hard to not pick up the phone to ask him to come home. I did but in my own way, and not one he’d understand, despite how he knew every page of my book.

I hope work is going well

Only a few minutes passed before a reply came in with a silent vibration.

thanks it is, just meetings again and an interview

Sounds boring. I know how you hate both. New hire?

possibly. i forgot to tell u gwen left. i hope ur getting some rest

No, you hadn’t but that’s ok. I think I only talked to her like 5 times. I’m trying.

ya she was good, just kept 2 herself. want me 2 pick up anything for lunch? anything soundin good? Starbucks? pizza? u can have whatever u want

You can pick

At that, I heard my phone lock before placing it face down onto the bedside table, not able to continue a conversation about food any longer. Another wave of irrational tears came at missing him and wanting normalcy back, but the fitful sleep didn’t follow. I wasn’t sure if I was regretful or not when I peeled back the covers, shocked by the sudden cold.

The chilling silence filling the house hit me in the face when I stepped out into the hallway. It had been choking at times, mostly at night when things were at their worst. During the day, like now, it was never this quiet. Something on the tv was always playing, and I soon found myself in front of it, watching the end of a Marvel movie Harry and I once watched.

Its sequel was nearing the halfway point by the time the doorbell rang again. It was on its fourth time now and the person still hadn’t stopped. The surprise on their face was just as strong as that of mine when I found myself at the door, in front of Harry’s grandmother.

“Hi, Becky,” she said softly, a warm cadence to her words like always. I may have been biased towards grandmas, but Harry’s checked all of the points and more. I couldn’t help the squeeze of my heart at the mere sight of her, a melancholy smile spreading on her lips.

“Claire. Um, hi. Harry isn’t here right now, he had to go into work this morning,” I rush, unsure of why I’m telling her this, except for I know why. I hadn’t spoken to another human being that wasn’t Harry or my doctor since . . since it had happened. Sure, texts to Skye, my dad, and Robbie. It was the only way to placate them from telling them I didn’t want to see them. Can I blame them, though?

“Oh, that’s okay. I was uh, hoping I could come in,” she suggests. I stand there, taken aback by her request. I had come to love this woman like she was my own grandmother, and yet here I am, not opening the door for her. “Maybe we could wait for him together with some brookies.”

Dropping my eyes, I watch as she lifts a saran wrapped plate of chocolatey looking cookies. I didn’t need to look any longer to know what they were. Her famous brownie cookies that Harry had compared any cookie or brownie of mine to over the years, and I eventually had found out why.

“You know I can’t turn those down,” I mumble, feeling the first hints of a smile. She grins for me instead, following me into the house that somehow feels even emptier when we step inside. Awkwardly, I closed the door behind her, pulling my hands back into the oversized King’s College crewneck of Harry’s I’d stolen long ago. “Can I . . Can I get you something to drink? Coffee? Water? Tea?” I stumble, watching as she takes a seat at the island, setting down one of those cloth bags beside her.

“Coffee would be fine, honey,” she says, and always with a smile. I welcome the distraction, feeling as if I’d forgotten how to talk to another person. No, I know that I have. I hadn’t even been able to carry on a conversation with Harry, nonetheless his grandmother.

At times, I still felt uncomfortable around his parents, especially his dad. If there was one of them that I felt the easiest around, it was Claire. I’m reminded of the bouquet of black eyed susans probably now wilting on the table when she notes the array of flowers taking up space over there. I nod at her words while closing the lid of the instant coffee machine, placing a tall mug underneath the spout. The compassionate words scribbled in her cursive with its accompanying card come back to me, and suddenly, the steaming coffee grows blurry before my eyes. Sometimes, I wondered if she had a feeling about things like me, because as the first tear fell, she speaks an apology.

“I’m sorry for coming unannounced. I had let Harry know I was in town and would stop by today, but he must have forgotten to mention it to you,” she begins in a low volume, a Harry-like molasses shining in her voice. I mumble an ‘it’s okay’ while watching the coffee continue to fill the mug. It’s almost done, but then what will I do to distract myself? “Harry had said your fridge was quite full, but I couldn’t help but make a few of your favorites to bring you both. Times like these, cooking feels like the last thing you want to do.”

“A lot of things do,” I find myself saying, surprising her I’m sure and especially myself. I hadn’t even been able to find it in myself to put that feeling into words and say them to Harry. It was a blessing and a curse how we could read each other so well, but I know I’d closed myself off from him a long time ago. On accident and then, on purpose.

Ripples form across the surface of the liquid as the last few drops plummet into the dark abyss. I wait, staring at the steam rising from the mug, unsure as to why. A silence had embedded itself into these walls so long ago I couldn’t remember, and it sat between us now too. I still didn’t know how to broach it, and there was no nudging the switch that would let me talk about her. I truly didn’t know how to, not even to her father. Sometimes, I wanted to forget her so I’d stop hurting, but that felt like an impossibility and then a crime. Gulping, I wipe at my cheeks and thread my fingers through the ceramic handle.

“Those are a beautiful assortment of flowers,” she comments again when I set the drink down in front of her. A forced ‘thank you’ leaves my lips when I turn around and walk towards the fridge. “You and Harry are so loved, and so was your baby.”

I’d opened this fridge how many times over the years, and now as the handle sits in my palm, I can’t find it in myself to do it. The forgotten coupons, lists, photographs, drawings from Harper and Ollie, and magnets grew hazy before my eyes. The hum of the coffee machine cooling down wasn’t enough to mask the whimper that escaped my lips, no matter how desperately I tried to shove it down. After breathing in and out a few times, it still didn’t help, but I was able to open the door and grab what I’d needed.

Keeping my head down, I set the coffee creamer in front of her, not spending a second more facing her with the damage on my cheeks. As the spoon clinks against the sides of her mug, I distract myself by finding room in the fridge for the filled tupperware containers she’d taken from the bag. Scribbled labels adorn the top of each one, but I look past them as I stack them on a shelf. From the corner of my eye, I saw her stand from her seat to look at the flowers, thumbing at the typed messages. It’s not until the last one is snug against a container of yogurt and strawberries that somebody says something.

“They always say the same things, don’t they?” she murmurs with an out of place scoff, sounding like a hum from her lips. The tears had dried up as I thought about how to fit a container of beef stroganoff amongst tater tot casserole, but when I turned around, her face still falls. “It was the same with Steven too. They all say that they understand, but there’s no way that they can. They hadn’t lost their spouse, or . . their baby.” This roots me to the spot and we spend the next few moments looking at each other as her Soft Rose lipsticked lips fall.

“I didn’t want to come, Becky, because I know that when I lost my loves, I wanted to be alone. But that was where my demons lied in wait, and I don’t want you to go through the same thing I did when I lost my baby,” she continues. I couldn’t tell if it was the light or the way my eyes deceive me with a returning wetness, but a similar glint appears in hers. It holds my attention for a mere moment until my heart starts to pound against my ribs. “Steven and I were a little younger than you and Harry when we lost our baby at four months.”

There could be no saving my throat nor my eyes as I gulp against the dryness, feeling all of the wetness detour down my face. Her words ricochet inside of me, bouncing off walls. For the first time in too long, they sink in and make me feel something. I resist at first, not wanting to let my chest shake or my heart race, but there’s no stopping it. Staring back at her, she quietly sits back down and takes a sip from her coffee. Looking back to me, a corner of her mouth twitches as a gleaming droplet beads at her chin.

“What has it been now? Fifty five years and I still miss them . . my little baby,” the blood pounds in my ears as I stare at her in what, amazement? Horror? Complete and utter surprise? Probably, all of them.

“Gran, I-I never knew,” a voice says from behind me. Turning, another wave of shock courses through me at the sight of Harry with his hand on the door to the garage.

“I never told anybody, except for my immediate family when it had happened . . The thing was, the taboo around miscarriages and infertility hasn’t changed a whole lot since then. It disappoints me really . . Back then, you didn’t talk about it. Now, sometimes you talk about it, but it’s just the same. It’s near to impossible to speak about. Friends and family want to say something, but they don’t know how to without hurting you. So, instead of mentioning the loved one you lost, people don’t when they think of them, and they’re forgotten. That’s always been my worst fear, and I don’t want either of you to go through that- I cried when your mother told me what had happened, Harry. My heart breaks for the both of you, knowing that you’re going through the same nightmare that my Steven and I did.”

A puff leaves his lips and I can almost hear him gulp as sound evades us. Words haven’t been a friend to my lips in what feels like months, and right now isn’t an exception.

“I’m so sorry, Gran.”

“You have nothing to apologize for, Harry. I’m so sorry that you lost your baby . . I heard it was a girl, your daughter,” her words are ginger and slow. Somehow, another piece joins the puzzle, but it still leaves me staring at the floor as tidal waves crash inside of me. “It was a long time ago, but I still miss them and wonder who they’d be. I’m sorry to say that never goes away, and that the whole b-s of ‘time heals all wounds’ isn’t entirely true. You just build up scar tissue to it, but some days are worse than others. I miss Steven terribly some days, like the day you announced your engagement, and your pregnancy. When your mother told me over the phone three weeks ago, I wished he could’ve been there too, for you to talk to about fathers losing a child. Men are still pressured to not show emotions but it was just as hard on him to lose our baby, and sometimes fathers are forgotten.”

A mess of emotions roils inside of me, flipping my stomach upside down. My heart too, arguably. The last sound that I make out is a sniffle of his before I’m bringing my hands to my eyes, and sobbing against them. It felt like I stood there for minutes before escaping down the hall, when it was only a few seconds in reality.

I wasn’t certain if they knew what I did. That I could hear them from the bedroom down the hall, the place I’d come to retreat to instead of Harry’s arms. I felt him coming towards me just moments ago, but I couldn’t do it. I think I’d almost forgotten what his touch felt like. If they thought I could hear them, they probably had mistaken me for being asleep or for not listening. I think they tried to keep their voices down, but despite Harry being a closet musician, there wasn’t much for treatment to these walls. He’d joked before about having sex one night his mom stayed here but I pushed him away, chalking it up to thin walls.

Now, the memory wasn’t that funny to me as I heard their conversation. I almost felt guilty, as if I was cheating by hearing them, but this was the only way I could take part in a conversation I know I should be part of. I didn’t think that I could even speak if I had wanted to, because of the hiccuped sobs that filled my chest, making it hard to speak. I know that I made the right decision when my head rests against the door upon hearing about what they say next, about me.

“I can hardly get her to have a conversation with me, Gran. Let alone about . . about the baby.”

“Oh, Harry. You just have to give her time.”

“I know and I have, but it’s becoming all the harder to feel as time passes. She’s getting worse and I’m barely staying put together. It scares me so much, because I don’t want to lose her too. If I did, I’d lose everything I have to live for.”

At last, the sound of my choked sobs drowned out that of their voices. By the time my lungs calmed down and my heart hardened once more, it was quiet. I missed his voice despite how it had almost betrayed me to another, and made me hurt. My rumbling stomach ultimately won the race and it was what led me down the hall, and without knowing, back to her. I blamed it on the appetizing smell wafting from the kitchen.

I’d already seen her and had decided to keep going, but upon passing the island where she sat again, I heard her intake of breath. Harry wasn’t anywhere to be seen, despite the wiped clean plate in the sink with the large fork and an empty can. He was the only one who used them and who drank the sparkling waters that I thought tasted like bug spray.

“I’m so sorry, Becky. The last thing I wanted was to upset you, honey.”

“You don’t have to apologize. Frankly, I’m rather tired of people saying those two words, but thank you,” I return, a steadiness arriving in my voice that I didn’t know I’d missed. “Can I-?”

“Of course, it’s all yours,” she insists with a smile. Nodding, I pick up the serving spoon and a plate, feeling my stomach grow happy at the sight and smell of her famous homemade lasagna. “There’s garlic bread in the oven and salad in the fridge. I’m just going to use the little girl’s room.”

I almost smile, realizing that I’ve missed her and just maybe, I feel okay enough to talk about it. I’d found a seat at the island beside her empty cup of coffee, already digging into the lasagna. An almost embarrassing moan left my lips at the taste of the layers of cheese, pasta, and bolognese sauce.

“Leave it to Claire to find the way to your heart,” somebody comments. Turning, I find Harry walking towards me with a tilt to his lips. He unrolls the hem of a Queen Bohemian Rhapsody shirt, looking more like himself now that he’s out of a suit. Sometimes, I still catch myself thinking that it was always the opposite, seeing how I’d know him to always be in suits for so long.

To my surprise, I don’t flinch or pull back when his hand arrives on my shoulder as I wipe my mouth with a napkin.

“You don’t know how happy it makes me to see you eating, and enjoying it . . I’m surprised you haven’t broken into that plate of brookies yet,” he comments. Something happy buds on my lips when his lips sponge a kiss to my temple.

“So am I,” I reply, cutting myself another bite of the food. To my happiness, his arm comes around my shoulder and stays there. I welcome it and feel a warmth grow in my gut upon finding the courage to meet his eyes. They hold something that I learn to be mischief when he plucks one of the cookies off the plate. “Hey, save some for me.”

“Don’t worry, they’re all yours. Well, except a few for me. Maybe we could split them down the middle. Half for me and half for you,” he suggests with a cocky shrug to his broad shoulders. It surprises us both when my lips spill a few second giggle. “You have no idea how much I’ve missed that sound.”

“I’ve missed you,” it’s but a squeak and still, I know he hears it by the sad curl of his lips. “I’m going to try.”

“Thank you, my lovebug. That’s all I can ask for,” he smiles, stealing a quick peck from my lips. It catches me off guard and I find myself staring at him while he manages to take a bite that’s half of the cookie. He winks at me and I turn away, shoveling a large bite of cheesy pasta past my lips.

Another bite had donned my fork by the time Claire found her seat beside us. I’d made a dent in my garlic bread by now as Harry worked on his second cookie.

Swallowing, I loaded my fork with a scrap of melted cheese and bolognese sauce. “Claire. How . . How did you do it? Be okay again after losing your baby? It . . It feels impossible,” the words seem to come from nowhere at first.

After a few moments, I know where they stem from, and just how much importance they hold. It looks back at me in Harry’s eyes when I peer up at him, smiling back when he thumbs away a tear below my eye. As her response hits our ears, I reach my arm out and across his back, holding tightly onto his side. I didn’t let go once as we cried together with his grandma about our lost babies, and neither did he.

I went to bed with a hope in my heart, thinking that tomorrow would be different. Alas, I woke up to an empty bed and it wasn’t. I wasn’t surprised but sure, I was let down. I knew that somebody else would be much more disappointed than I was, if that were possible.

It wasn’t long after my waking realization that there was a knock on the door anda creak, “Hey, buggie. I’m making french toast. How many pieces do you want?” The rest of the night had been uneventful, for once. His grandma stayed for another hour or two as we ate cookies and I finally talked about it. Her. Now, lying with my back to Harry, I didn’t know how to do that again. To talk. “Wakey wakey, it’s nearly noon.”

His voice was closer now as his hands settled on my shoulders from behind. The feeling of his thumbs kneading the tissue made me want to let him drive away the intrusive thoughts. To let him win, but I didn’t know how. Yesterday had seemed like a fluke, as I looked back on it. Even if he was her father, how could I explain to him the hollowness that had filled me when I remembered that my child had died inside of me? No, that wasn’t something he could understand, nor could he hear how much I wished he had been there that morning. That the fact he wasn’t there had changed everything. I couldn’t tell him that and I never wanted to, but I’d gotten close. At the times his nagging and hovering drove me up the wall, my tongue itched to deal the worst blows just to get him off my back. I knew it was wrong, so much of it was but I didn’t know how to stop. All I knew how to do was to drown myself in my regret afterwards. Sometimes, I was mad that we couldn’t keep alcohol around, but at others, I was glad for it.

His molasses voice murmurs my name once more, another time that I ignore, until I can’t. “No thanks.”

“I can bring it in here for you. There’s bacon and strawberries too. Orange juice, as well.”

Shaking my head, I bury my face deeper into the pillow, finding that it has his smell. At one time, he had been my safety blanket, but now it was his smell that could calm me down. I wanted to feel guilty about it but I didn’t have the energy to feel guilt because of anything else as it was all focused on one thing.

“I’ll have a little bit,” I surrender, listening to his hopeful response before leaving. For once, he let me eat alone in the bedroom. But he still inspected my plate, and I could tell that he was biting back a remark as he read the paper at the island.

“Can we talk?”

“What about?” I replied, bending over to place my dishes in the dishwasher. Standing back up, I fail at readying myself for his next onslaught of questions. The ones that I can’t answer.

“You know . . About Phoebe,” he answers. I hear it, the way he has to shove the words past his lips in order to get them out. I only know because I’ve done it a thousand times, and often with him. You do it when it’s too hard to say, but you know that it has to be done regardless.

“What’s there to talk about?”

“Becks,” he sighs, annoyance clear in his voice. “I thought you said that you were going to try. Last night went so well and you did great, I-.”

“I just can’t do it today. Okay, Harry?” I retort tearfully, catching the sagging of his features when I lock eyes with him. Sighing, I forget the cookie I’d picked up, placing the saran wrap back over it.

“So what, we need to schedule a fricken time to talk about it?”

I’d begun my retreat, but I wasn’t far enough yet. No, if I was in earshot of Harry, it wasn’t over yet. It had always been that way, ever since the beginning.

“Harry, please,” my words start, decorated with tears that drag my words underwater.

“We got pregnant and we . . we had a miscarriage, Becks. It’s nearly been a month now, but what comes next? When do we get back to normal?”

I hadn’t even been facing him and the words felt like a slap in the face. The look on mine must have felt similar to him, because when I turn around to look at him through blurry eyes, he melts into a puddle of regret.

“I didn’t mean it that way, Becks. Not-.”

“Not what way, Harry? That we should just forget about it and move on with our lives? God, you’re sounding like the doctor the other day who said that we can start trying again whenever we want. But I don’t want to try again yet, Harry, because I’m too scared that we’d lose another one- I mean, what if I can’t have kids? And- I don’t want to forget her or replace her,” but he didn’t hear the last part and I hadn’t decided if I’d wanted him to.

“You don’t know that, Becks, and that’s not what I meant at all. I promise,” he interrupts. The legs of his oversized sweatpants sag down to his ankles when he stands. “I didn’t say we had to get pregnant again right away. I’m fucking scared too. I just mean that I want us to get better. Collectively and on our own. I hate seeing you so upset all of the time, and just want you to be happy. We’re supposed to get married sometime this year and I still don’t know when that’s going to happen. The house is going to be ready in a few months, and I wanted to bring you there one day to look at the progress.”

I had begun to shake my head long before he’d stopped talking. It brought an edge to his words and an annoyance that I didn’t like, despite inciting it. A loud puff passes his lips and he returns to the chair, raking a hand through his hair. That either meant annoyance or boredom, or both. Like I tend to do, I take it personally and figure he’s both annoyed and bored of me, not that it was anything new lately.

“I can’t do that, Harry. I-I can’t,” fumbling with my words, my hand gets caught in my hair as I avoid his eyes. It doesn’t stop him from retorting an inquisitive ‘why not?’ “How am I supposed to go and see the house we’re building that has five extra bedrooms, Harry? How do you expect me to look at the rooms we planned out for o-our kids, and one for . . for Phoebe’s nursery when she’s not coming anymore?”

“Becks,” the nickname leaves his lips like that one breath that’s knocked out of you when you fall. The wrinkles that are rarely there above his eyes return as his eyebrows fall deeply. “I didn’t . . I wasn’t thinking. I’m so sorry.”

“And so am I, but . . I just can’t do that right now, o-or talk about her. I’m sorry,” I say with haste to my words and in my actions. The sad sound from his lips follows me to the couch where I perch, pretending to watch the tv. He doesn’t join me and after a while of pretending, my eyes start to droop.

The image of Shrek and Fiona making animal balloons falls away until a sound wakes me. Time had passed because now Fiona stands in front of Lord Farquad and Shrek is nowhere to be seen.

“I’m going to run an errand. Is there um, anything you need, bug?” he murmurs, the jangling of keys adorning his words.

“No thanks.”

“Okay, I won’t be long- Becks?” he speaks up, clearing his throat at last. I call back a question and wait as he idles. “I really am sorry about earlier, I didn’t mean anything insensitively or to upset you. I’d never want to do that.”

“I know, Harry. It’s okay,” are the last words that pass between us before he bids me a goodbye. I welcome the lack of silence but curl into the couch more, pulling the blanket around me as the movie continues.

My head throbbed when I stood up, but it had been happening a lot lately. I knew it was because I hadn’t been eating much, and as I think about that, my feet lead me to the fridge.

I couldn’t remember the last time I had felt full after eating, and still wanting a cookie afterwards. Like I do now. Licking the crumbs from my fingers after the last bite, the wooden floor is cold against my bare feet. For a reason I don’t know, I soon am staring up the staircase, and in that direction. It pulls at me to climb the stairs, but something deep down throbs in denial.

Instead, my attention is stolen when my ringtone blares from the couch. I lose my phone half of the time these days and so calls went unanswered. Assuming it was Harry with a grocery question, I picked it up without looking at who it was.

“Hi, Boops.”

“Dad,” I almost sigh, but I was unsure as to why. Was it the bombardment of talking to my dad on the phone for the first time in almost a month? Most likely. Or was it the homesickness that grew in my gut at the sound of his voice. “Daddy.”

“Hi, honey. I was hoping you’d answer. I’ve missed your voice.”

Sinking onto the couch, my bottom lip quivers as I try to breathe in slowly, but my heart won’t listen. It hasn’t for a while now.

“I’ve missed yours, Daddy.”

“Oh, baby girl,” he says in an exhale. Already, I know that he hears what my voice is dipped in, but I don’t hide it. It was too late for that. “I can’t tell you how sorry I am.”

“I’m getting really sick of that word, but thanks, Dad.”

His classical chuckle begins its opening but it falters there, and so did any chance at mine. Silence had rarely been uncomfortable with my Dad. That was only when I’d gotten into trouble or when I was trying to tell him about something that had happened with my Mom, which usually went hand in hand. Over the years, I could hardly count the times silence had grown awkward between us, until it did now.

“What are you doing?” he decides to say, lifting my eyes to the tv screen where it appears Fiona and Farquaad will get their Happily Ever After. I knew without needing to think what would happen next. They wouldn’t, because it never really happens that way. No, it’s not that easy or immediate.

“Watching Shrek on the couch.”

“Is Harry there?” he murmurs a question.

“No, he went to do something not long ago. I don’t know what,” I answer, wrapping the tassels of the blanket around my finger until it hurts. “I think he’s mad at me. I can’t tell anymore, it seems like he always is.”

“I’m sure that’s not true, honey.”

Shaking my head for nobody to see, I taste blood when pressing my lips together to hold back the whimpering. Sniffling, I breathe in raggedly before speaking, “I think it is . . I can’t blame him, because I’ve been so horrible to him, Dad. H-He was supposed to be a Daddy and I’ve forgotten that he’s g-going through all of this too. I’ve been in my own little world being sad a-about the baby, and I forgot about him, Dad. I’m supposed to marry him soon, and I don’t even wear my ring anymore, and I can’t go upstairs, and-,” he doesn’t cut me off. I leave that honor for myself as I watch the color drain from my finger when I unwrap the tassel. I’d slowly come to hate the color red, even refusing to eat strawberries at first. It’d become the color I’d hated most after . . after that morning.

“I’m sure that he understands, Ree, or he’s at least trying to. I’ve spoken to him a few times now, and he’s not mad at you. He’s just frustrated and overwhelmed. Harry hates to see you unhappy, it’s always been that way with you too, and vice versa. He wants to fix everything, but I told him that’s not always possible. You can’t fix another person . . . and neither can you, Boops. You’re doing your best and so is he, and after a while-.”

“But I’m not, Dad. I’m hardly trying, only when I feel like it. I . . I don’t know how to do any of this and I don’t want to. I don’t want her to be gone. I was supposed to be a Mom. Her Mom,” I weep, pressing the handful of blanket against my eyes, catching my tears.

“I wish I could make it all better for you too, honey. Ever since you were little, I wanted to kiss the owies better and tell off the kids who were mean to you, but . . . you have to do it yourself and when you can, Becky. You can’t rush this. Grief, it doesn’t have a timetable or a road map- and, honey, you are a Mom. You’re Phoebe’s Mom. Nothing will ever change that,” somehow, I cry harder at his last words, melting into the couch.

“Thank you, Daddy,” I cry into the phone, wishing it was his shoulder, instead. It’s a few moments filled with the sound of my tears and his own sniffles, before I speak again. “But how do I . . how do I let Harry back in? I pushed him away without meaning to and now we’re so far apart, Dad.”

“I think that you need to remember that he’s grieving the loss of a child too. Your child together, Ree, and that he’s feeling the exact same feelings that you are. He’s devastated at not getting to be a father to Phoebe, to meet her, watch her grow up into a person, and do all of the things that you’re grieving the loss of too. You’re a team, honey, and you need to give each other some grace too. There aren’t any rules to this and maybe I shouldn’t talk because I’m divorced, but the first reason you’re there with each other is because you love each other. You have to remember that too, honey. Hey, I’m sorry, I think I’m burning my dinner in the oven. Can I call you back later, sweetie?”

“Yeah, Dad. Of course. Um, thank you. That really helped me,” I reply, swiping at my tears with the dry side of the blanket.

“I’m glad to hear it. I love you, Boops.”

“I love you too, Daddy,” and he’s gone. All I hear is the silence of the dead call and Shrek’s voice on the tv as he yells at Lord Farquaad. It’s what fills my ears and distracts my mind when I lay my head on the pillow, resting my hand on my belly without thinking. But unlike every other time I’d found myself doing it since . . since I was actually holding my baby, I let it stay there, wildly wishing she could be here watching Shrek with me.

I heard him come in when the credits of the movie are switching to the opening of its sequel. It was arguably the best, in my opinion, but it was something Harry and I had always disagreed upon. The memory sparks an invitation for him on my tongue, but upon raising my head, I watch him disappear down the hallway.

My ears aren’t sure what to focus on, the sound of his parting footsteps, the racing of my heart, or guitar strings soon being plucked from down the hall. It wasn’t much of a choice, because my feet were already leading me towards his study. A place where he had been spending a lot of time recently. I find myself gravitating towards the sound and wanting to hear more, but I stop outside the door nervously. My heart pulls me forward, despite the way it gallops, making me feel sick to my stomach. Standing there, I wonder why this is something I’m nervous about, but nothing is the same anymore. I hadn’t felt this way for what had it been now, years? There hadn’t been a time since the beginning that I was nervous to talk to Harry, and yet, here I stood doing just that.

His playing stopped and I perked up, making out the scribbling of pen on paper. Was he writing a song, I wondered quietly and wished I could ask. I didn’t know how to, and that was something I’d thought too many times lately. How to get out of bed. To eat a whole plate of food. Talk to my family and friends. I hardly even knew how to talk to Harry anymore. That’s what was holding me back, wasn’t it? Sure, if you wanted to sum it up.

“I know you’re standing outside the door . . Did you need something?” Harry murmurs, an edge to his voice. It was one that had appeared out of the blue and refused to leave. I only knew because I’d felt my voice change like that too.

There’s the creaking of the floor before I press the ajar door open enough for me to fit through. I find him sitting back down on his office chair, but he faces away from me, a guitar propped on his lap.

“How’d you know?” I ask softly, still awkwardly standing in the doorway. His eyes flit to mine and I’m unsure of why I look away, except that I can’t face him. No, not when mine are still wet and I’m sure they aren't going to dry up anytime soon. Not after what I’m about to say.

“You forget how long I’ve known you,” he mumbles, peering down at the moleskin journal he scribbles in. “Four years, give or take. You learn their cues and the sounds they make when you come to know somebody for that long. That’s how I heard you at the door, it was your footsteps.”

“Oh,” I respond flatly, feeling dumb. His tone doesn’t imply it and nor do his words, but the embarrassment has run rampant already.

Watching him write and escape to his own little world had always been one of my favorite things to observe. Even his handwriting was something that brought me . . comfort. I blamed it on the familiarity, but as it pours from his pen, it makes my heart slow down a few ticks.

“My Dad called and we talked for a little bit.”

Harry hums a reply, crossing something out on the piece of paper. Scratching his head, he sighs whilst staring at the writing. I can’t make it out from here, but once again, the silence finds its old spot. Remembering his initial question when he heard me at the door, I worry that I’m bothering him. Gulping past the nervousness and doubt, I pedal forward.

“Was that yours?” I ask warily, noting his head rising so he can meet my eyes for a split second. They hold a question in them, perhaps dozens. “The song. It . . It was really pretty.”

“Yeah . . It’s just something I’ve been playing around with,” his answer comes out in a pillowy tone. It has changed ever since . . since I’d run away from him, and I hear it now as he speaks his reply.

“I really . . really like it,” I comment, looking towards the ceiling when his grandfather’s Gibson acoustic grows hazy in my eyes.

“Thank . . you. Hey, what is it? Did your dad say something that upset you?” it had been so long since I’d heard that steely edge absent from his voice. I don’t know why I mourned it, because it was my fault it had ever arrived in the first place. Wasn’t it? “Becks.”

“Yeah, he said a lot of things th-that made sense, actually,” I confess, dropping my head to stare at my fingers that I wring. I’m unable to ignore the feeling of my lips trembling against each other, despite busying myself with adjusting my rings. They stop when I arrive at the one that speaks volumes, and how deeply I’d ignored it.

Braving the storm, I finally look at him. His greens are patient and soft, something neither of our eyes have been for the other for awhile now. Without breaking eye contact, he settles his guitar onto its stand and discards the pad of paper.

“Harry, c-can I have a hug?” slowly, the overdue question comes.

“Of course,” he responds, a corner of his mouth quirking up. Already, he’s holding his arms out towards me. “You’ve never needed to ask, buggie.”

“Thank you,” I murmur, feeling the air whoosh out of me when my body touches his. Somehow, my chest shakes harder with a new sob. It only worsens when his hands come under my thighs, lifting me up to sit on his lap.

“It’s been so long since we’ve hugged,” I know he doesn’t mean to, but it feels like a chasm through my chest when he says that. The guilt that had arrived at my dad’s words increases by tenfold.

“I’m sorry,” it’s but a whisper against his neck, my favorite place for hide and seek. But it was always him seeking me, it had been for months now, and I hadn’t let him win. Not once.

“What?”

“I’m so sorry for everything, Harry,” I repeat, pulling back to find his greens swarmed by tears. Swiping my thumb under them, I catch the way that they leak with sadness. “For how horribly I’ve treated you this last month, and how . . how I forgot that you- you lost our baby too.”

“Oh, honey. You don’t have to-,” he begins, adamant in his apology. One that I won’t accept.

“No, but I do have to apologize,” I sob, surprised at the way I’m shocked by the rough feeling of his cheeks. It had been so long since I’d touched him like this, despite watching him grow his beard out. “My dad, he . . he put it into perspective for me. I can’t believe I didn’t see it before, I hate myself for that, for-.”

“Hey, don’t hate yourself for anything. This last month has been a Hell we never thought we’d have to endure. Something we shouldn’t have to deal with, and one that isn’t our fault,” he insists, thumbing at the place where a dimple would usually fall in my left cheek. I’d forgotten it was there, just like I’d done the same to him.

“But all you’ve been doing is trying to take care of me, and I made that so hard for you,” comes my cry against his palm, feeling the way he holds me together from breaking for the thousandth time. No, that would imply I’d have been put back together, but that wasn’t something I’d done. “You tried to make me eat and I fought you on it until you stopped talking about it. I argued with you and ignored you when you were just trying to keep the world going, but you never stopped, even though I did. You didn’t stop living and loving me when I stopped.”

“Becks, it’s okay,” he repeats, the words sliding into my ears as my hand wanders to his neck. A hoodie with cartoons from our childhoods dons his upper half, tattoos peeking out from the color. I found the charm of his necklace instantaneously, something I could do in the dark.

“But it’s not, Harry. It’s not okay how I treated you. I forgot you and that you’ve been mourning the loss of your child too. Our b-baby,” I whimper, sniffling when I inhale uneasily. My fingers shake before me until he takes hold of my hand, surrounding it with his own before pressing it to his lips. “I’m so sorry.”

“I forgive you, Becks. I always will,” Harry says, tucking his chin over my head when I melt against him. “I meant it that first night after we came home and you disappeared on me . . We lost our baby, our child, and I can’t . . I can’t lose you too, Rebecca. I have, time and time again, and I can’t do it again. I’ve hardly stayed pieced together lately being so far away from each other like we have . . God, the only thing that kept me going was just thinking, ‘one more day’ for so many days.”

Hiccuping, my hands brace themselves against his taut back, feeling his own drift along my spine. Shaking my head against the crook of his neck, I struggle to breathe, let alone speak, “I’m so sorry, Harry. I can’t believe how awful I was to you. We’re supposed to get married soon, and I can’t even live up to that in sickness and health part of the vows.”

He continued to murmur assurances that everything was okay, and for the first time in a long while, I found myself believing him. Crying against his neck, I heard his own shed tears onto mine as my hands rubbed circles into his shoulders.

“I’m sorry I got mad at you that day for going to work, even though you asked me and I said it was okay . . And-.”

“Shhh, it’s okay. You don’t have to do that, Becks,” he assures me, pressing a kiss to my head. Again, I believe him, and it feels easier to breathe. Just in the slightest.

“I was such a bitch to you.”

Something sparks inside of my chest at the sound I hear next, one that had been lost along the way. His laugh. His song.

“I’ve been known to be quite the dick on one or two occasions, as well,” I savor the glint that appears in his eyes upon pulling away. It had been one of the first times I was able to lift my head since before all of this had happened, because it had been better just to hide. No, not now.

The quirk to his lips is a full on tilt now, and through them, I’m reminded of what drew me to this man in the first place. It was those eyes and that smile that made me melt upon impact. Well, then there’s the sunshine they share, and how I taste it when his lips meet mine for really the first time in what, a month. Emotion pulls at me from somewhere underneath at the thought, but he makes me forget rather quickly. He’s always been good at that.

His peppermint chapstick sticks to my lips after he’s pulled away several seconds later, trying to catch his breath. The cobwebs have been dusted away in more ways than one, and it feels weird at first, wrong almost, but I laugh. It catches him by surprise too and his eyes focus on me, and only grow brighter.

“I’ve missed kissing you, and laughing with you,” Harry grins, pressing one more to my lips before brushing his nose against mine.

“So have I. I’m s-.”

“I swear, if you say that word one more time,” he tuts, shaking his head with his bottom lip caught between his teeth.

“What are you going to do?”

“I don’t know. I’ll have to figure out something,” he says, sighing for the dramatic effect. I giggle along with him a moment later, remembering the flecks of gold hidden in his eyes. I remember a lot, too much almost, and the gold is gone as my eyes flood once more. “I know it’s hard, Becks. Something has never been this difficult for me . . for you either. But we have to talk, and I’ve been aching for ages now to talk to you . . I don’t want to ignore it, because they shouldn’t be forgotten. Our daughter. We need to talk about them, about her,” I’m nodding before he can finish, feeling his warm lips against my forehead as I focus on my breaths. “In and out, bug. In and out. We can do this. We’ll start slow.”

I haven’t stopped nodding, but once my lungs start to work again, I pull away and find his eyes once more. It comes to me and I can’t hold it back in anymore, knowing I need to say it first. To tell him.

“Okay, let’s talk about o-our daughter,” I begin, cringing at the sound of my voice breaking already. He nods, cupping my face in his palm, the sweetest of looks on his face.

#harry styles #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles alternate universe #one direction fanfiction #one direction #fanfic #wattpad #harry styles wattpad #writing #vanchlo writes #heck yes #becky x harry #tempestad #elmundodebecks

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milky-mochi · 4 years

Text

late night texts | csb

genre: fluff, crush! soobin, close friend! soobin, friends to lovers, soobin is a fluffy baby okay he’s a cute blundering mess

pairing: choi soobin x reader

word count: 1.7k

summary: soobin is helplessly head over heels for the girl he cares so much for, but he keeps his feelings to himself, until things suddenly change for the better, over late night texts and blooming roses.

song: 🎶 blueming by iu 🎶

soobin's fingers hung over his messenger app in anticipation.

It was half past ten, and yet his phone delivered him no message from you. you had promised him that you would text him at quarter past, after your shift at your internship had ended, but fifteen minutes had passed and there was still no green dot beside your icon.

soobin just assumed you had fallen asleep after a tiring day, which he totally understood. he didn't blame you one bit, knowing how tired you must have been after non-stop activities for twenty hours. sighing in defeat, he placed his phone face down and cracked his knuckles.

he missed you so much his heart ached, but he could never text you first. he didn't know if he meant enough to you for it to not be annoying, and soobin was a big coward.

just as he got up to get a drink as a distraction, his phone chimed. soobin nosedived into his table so hard to grab his phone that he probably could've broken it.

at the top of his notifications, a light blue notification from you awaited him, labelled clearly with your contact name. soobin had been too afraid to put a heart beside your name (for fear of the boys finding out, or even worse, you). but you were too special to him for it to just be your name. so he copied a cute little flower emoticon from this layout site and placed it lovingly beside your first name, even though he knew that his contact in your phone was probably saved as every one else was.

clicking on the notification, soobin's furrowed eyebrows smoothened and his bunny smile revealed itself. the thought of you never failed to make his day a whole lot better.

y/n ❁: hey soobin! :D

y/n ❁: sorry im so late :(( i missed the bus and didn't get home until like 2 minutes ago

soobin sighed as he let out a knowing smile. you had busted your data watching videos of your favourite drama a week ago, so you couldn't text him on the bus.

binbread: omg it's okay y/n

binbread: don't you wanna take a shower first? i can wait!

y/n ❁: i'm alright, soobin. thank you tho 🥺

y/n ❁: and besides,

y/n ❁ is typing…

y/n ❁: i'd much rather talk to you

soobin felt his heart pounding in his chest, felt the blood circulating through his fingertips, his face, his entire body. he was flushed red and felt warmth consume him, leaving him with the jittery, skittery feeling that your sweet words always bestow him with.

binbread: y/n omg aaaaaaaa

binbread: 🥺🥺🥺

binbread: i love talking to you too

binbread: how was your day?

whenever soobin asked you this at the end of every day, it was never just a conversation starter, let alone a formality. he genuinely always wanted to know how your day went, worried at how much you exerted yourself to serve others. soobin knew how reckless you were when it came to your own needs, and he sealed a secret promise to always look after you, especially when you didn’t look after yourself.

y/n ❁: omg it was amazing

y/n ❁: there’s this guy named hangyul who just started interning with me

y/n ❁: he’s so funny omg i actually had to tell him to shut up so i could get work done

guiltily, soobin felt his heart drop. of course there was another guy, someone much better, someone of the quality you deserved-

y/n ❁: ok lowkey

y/n ❁: think im gonna set him up with seungyoun

binbread: seungyoun? the guy from your dance studio?

y/n ❁: yeah!!! they’d go so well together

y/n ❁: oh yeah

y/n ❁: hangyul is gay

y/n ❁: lmao

soobin felt embarrassed at how relieved he was. soobin was definitely the jealous type, and he hated it. he hated the way his mind would jump to conclusions, hated the way he always felt on the verge of being replaced, and he really hated the way his jealousy was always amplified when it came to you.

you didn’t have any mutual friends, so he’d rarely ever have to see you interact with any other guy. he was so grateful for that. who knows what his jealous heart would do if he saw you with someone else. at least, with this, he had that false sense of security that maybe, maybe, your feelings echoed his own.

binbread: omg do it y/n

binbread: don’t you need to sleep though

binbread: as much as i love talking to you

binbread: you literally pulled like 8 all nighters in a row

y/n ❁: it was only 3 :(

y/n ❁: and i missed you :(

y/n ❁: stay soobin :(

y/n ❁: soobinnie :(

you frowned at soobin’s inactivity. little did you know, soobin’s neighbour had knocked on his door, asking if he could borrow scissors because his kid needed it for a project and he couldn’t find a pair in his home. you could have waited, but you had missed him the entire day. and you were feeling really, really, annoying.

y/n ❁: soobiiiiiiiiiiin :(

y/n ❁: soobin come back :(

y/n ❁: i miss u :(

y/n ❁: love :(

y/n ❁: baby :(

y/n ❁: you’re my

y/n ❁: honey bunch

y/n ❁: sugar plum

y/n ❁: pumpy-umpy-umpkin

y/n ❁: you’re my sweetie pie

after soobin had kindly handed his neighbour his scissors with the baby blue handles, he immediately picked up his phone and read your messages. instantly, his face burned up and he dramatically put his hand to his heart (because he was alone, and you made him do things like that just by calling him two pet names and quoting a children’s song). but as the ‘seen’ appeared at the bottom of your messages, panic began to jolt your bones.

y/n ❁: soobiiiiiiiiiiin :(

y/n ❁: the user has deleted this message

binbread: y/n

binbread: i saw everything you sent lmao

binbread: dont do this to me :(

y/n ❁ is typing…

y/n ❁: do what binnie? :)

binbread: that

binbread: [insert crying cat meme]

binbread: [which i don't have on me now because i cleared my storage]

y/n ❁: ok i literally cant take this

your thumbs twiddled around your screen as you inhaled sharply.

y/n ❁ is typing…

oh no, thought soobin. this is the end. this is where she gets irritated with me because i can’t take a joke. she blocks me and we never talk or hang out again. she find another guy and she’s happy without me and i’m sad and lonely and miserable, shovelling bread into my mouth as a replacement for my soul-

ding!

y/n ❁: you’re too cute for this world soobin

y/n ❁: and u make it so much better for everyone

y/n ❁: especially for me

y/n ❁: and i know this seems weird, and may very well ruin our friendship

y/n ❁: but i really really like you

y/n ❁: and im tired of hiding it

damn, soobin thought. damn i was not expecting that.

soobin’s heart was beating wildly out of his chest for the third time that day, only because of you. his fingers were shaking as he typed his reply as fast as he could. the moment he had dreamed of for months had finally come tapping on his screen.

binbread: oh my god

binbread: i like you too

binbread: i’ve liked you for like

binbread: so long

binbread: is this real

y/n ❁: or is this the fantasy

binbread: those aren’t the lyrics y/n

y/n ❁: i tried okay

binbread: and im so proud of you for doing so

binbread: truly a pop culture queen

y/n ❁: :(

binbread: okay okay

binbread: jokes aside

binbread: i've liked you for like,, 10 months now

binbread: this is a dream come true

binbread: you're a dream come true

binbread: so y/n

binbread: will you go out with me?

y/n ❁: i literally just confessed to you like 3 minutes ago

y/n ❁: like yea of course choi soobin

binbread: you could’ve just said yes :(

binbread: but okay meet me at the 5th station tmr?

binbread: i wanna take you to my favourite bakery! :D

y/n ❁: totally :D

and so here, at fifth station, act ii of your relationship with soobin had revealed itself. soobin looked like a prince, stepping out of the subway in a creme button up and black jeans, approaching you with a red rose in one hand and his phone dialling your number in the other. he smiled brightly as he approached you, seeing your face and your screen, popping up with his contact name.

incoming call…

soobin ❁

and so to his favourite bakery he brought you. it was rose themed, from rose gold metal vases to wooden countertops, and rose infused drinks and pastries, you felt like a princess. his princess. especially when he brought you for a walk in the cafe’s rose garden and you ran your hands gingerly over their velvet petals, thinking about the rose in your hand, how lucky you were to have it, and how many more of them you would get to enjoy. soobin gazed at you with soft eyes and gently took your hand in his.

“we’ll be as beautiful as this, together. a hundred roses,” soobin said, as if he were reading your mind, “wanna make them bloom with me?”

---

a/n: ayo! hoped u liked my first soobin fic 🥺 i love choi soobin and he’s very cute,, anyway if u have any requests feel free to send em in!! i’d love to write em <3

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solynaceawrites · 4 years

Text

SMEARED LIPSTICK

Fandom: Devil May Cry Characters: Dante, Lirael Thorne (OC) Rating: Explicit A/N: The one-shot is set sometime during my upcoming fic, Memory of the Waters, and features my OC, Lirael Thorne, who some of you might recognize from the AU story Promise Me Forever. @lickitysplitfic and I were talking about how she tries to get under Dante's skin and knows that he's got a thing for messy blowjobs featuring smeared lipstick, and this one-shot was born. It's 6k words of pure smut with just enough plot to justify it, and we hope you have as much fun reading it as we did writing it!

»»————-　⚜　————-««

Lir knows exactly what she's doing when she takes a photograph of herself with artfully smeared lipstick and sends it to Dante.

Two weeks ago, and at Nico's urging, she'd bought her second ever tube of lipstick, a dark, sinful red named Lust, and she'd worn it while going to help Dante at his branch of the Devil May Cry. He'd gotten a strange look on his face when he'd seen her, and it hadn't taken much prodding on her part for him to say that he really, really wanted her to give him a blowjob while wearing it because the idea of making a mess of her mouth was incredibly hot.

Of course, she hadn't agreed right away. While Dante is, perhaps, the most considerate lover she's had in terms of her always having the reins, so to speak, she'd never seen him that desperate, and aren't all good things worth waiting for? So, she'd continued to wear the lipstick around him, and sent him selfies of her wearing it and not much else, and, given the fact that she hasn't really seen him in a week due to the sudden influx of jobs on both ends, she knows that what she's done is just adding fuel to the fire.

Doesn't stop her from grinning as she carefully wipes the smudge away and reapplies, though.

Behind her, Nero taps his foot impatiently. "You ready or what?"

"You driving?" she asks, stowing the tube in her shoulder bag.

"Yeah. Let's go."

They head to the job site with little conversation. The portals around Fortuna had been getting little rips despite having been sealed four years ago, probably someone messing around with some unaccounted-for Order stuff. That's why Lir had been sticking around the city and helping Nero out rather than working with Dante: until they figured out why the rips kept happening, it was way safer.

Her phone buzzes and she swipes the screen, adjusting the brightness now that the sun had gone down. Lir snorts when she reads: Where are u?

Working, she replies.

A moment later: Are you coming here tonight?

No, don't know when we'll be done. Fortuna’s still crazy.

Lir smiles to herself knowing why he is asking. Truthfully, she's itching to get her hands on him too, it being days since she got her fill of Dante. What had started out as a bit of fun had turned into a full addiction, but one she didn't mind too much.

I need to see u babe!

"What are you laughing at?" Nero asks from the driver's seat.

"Dante's whining about the workload," she replies, and he snorts and drapes an arm out of the open window.

"Tell 'im he shouldn't have let a bunch of wackos open gates, then," he says, but there's no real bite to his tone. "Speaking of, can you ask him if he's plannin' on comin' out anytime soon? I wanted to ask him about this new demon we've been seeing."

"Sure." Unlocking her phone, she types: Nero wants to see you about a demon. After a moment's debate, she adds: Do you think it'll dye your skin if I go down on you?

His response is immediate. Don't care, that mouth is going around my cock.

"He said he'll swing by when he can."

Nero nods, then jerks his chin towards the radio. "See if that thing's workin', will ya? I want some music before we kill these fuckers."

She sends off a kiss emoji before stashing her phone, deciding if he answers she should leave him on read. Lir is glad they are headed for a fight, because her heart is racing now at his last text, and she is definitely going to need to work out some of this adrenaline.

The demons are easy enough, not powerful at all but so many that it keeps them busy enough. Nero gets more kills than she does, which kind of bothers Lir, even though she was busy finding the tear and sealing it up. Her knack for opening doors that was unlocked during the Order incident has extended to closing things up as well, so once she figures out where they are slipping in it's easy work.

Once the demons are gone and the hole plugged up, they are sweaty and dirty and trudge back to the van. It's coming up on 11 already, and as Lir flips down the visor to look at her smudged hair and the smeared red on her lips, Nero asks, "Want to get a drink?"

"No, I want a shower," she sighs. "Drop me home?"

"Sure." They pass the rest of the ride in their usual post-fight silence, which is comfortable and much needed for the both of them. It's not until the van is idling outside of the garage she shares with Nico that he says, "Kyrie's making meatloaf tomorrow and wants you to come."

"Tell her if she puts that special sauce of hers in, I'll eat the whole thing."

"Not if I eat it first," he fires back.

With a grin, she leans over to punch him lightly on the shoulder. "See ya tomorrow, loverboy. Give Kyrie some kisses from me."

He waves her off, though he's smiling too, and she climbs the steps to the second floor, fumbling for her keys. To her surprise, the door is open a crack; with a frown, she carefully draws her revolver from it's holster and clicks the safety off, gently nudging the door open with her shoulder. The sight of Dante sitting at her small kitchen table is almost comical since he's so damn large next to it, but the humor dies when she catches sight of the positively ravenous expression he's wearing.

"Good way to get yourself shot," she greets as she flicks on the light and leans White Queen next to the door. "What are you doing here, anyway?"

"Came to see you." He nods to the revolver in her hand. "You had any trouble?"

"Nope." Lir slips the gun into its spot before unhooking the holster and hanging it up.

"Good. Where's Nico?"

Lir chuckles to herself. "She's gone until Thursday. Went to see a vendor about some material."

"Good." There is movement behind her, and when Lir whips around Dante is right there. She sucks in a breath as he crowds her, stepping forward until she steps back and presses on the door. "You ready?"

"Ready for what?" she asks innocently, smiling up at him.

"For me to fuck that pretty little mouth of yours."

She blinks, then stifles a chuckle. "Sorry to disappoint, but you're gonna have to wait. I'm sweaty and covered in demon blood, so I'm gonna shower. You can sit on your hands if you're worried about keeping them to yourself."

"Nope." He leans down, one arm braced on the wall beside her head while he cups her chin with the other hand. "You can shower after. You know I can't stand being teased."

Lir grins and gives him a little shove, not at all surprised when he doesn't move an inch. "Poor thing. Leftie not cutting it for you anymore?"

"Leftie and rightie have retired," he murmurs. This is his thing: flirting, jokes, a sweet bit of self-deprecation . . . but tonight it's different. It's like there's no humor in his tone, and when Lir swallows, his eyes go to her throat.

"Like I said, I need to shower," she replies, her mouth dry.

"Ain't got nothing to do with your mouth, babe." His thumb smooths over her bottom lip, dragging hard across her flesh. Then he holds up his hand and glances at the light red streak on the pad of his thumb. "You still got that lipstick?"

She nods, fishing the tube out of her pocket, and he studies it for a second, his lips curling up in something that's not quite a smile. "Put it on."

Without hesitation, she pops the top off and runs the cream over her lips, rubbing them together to make sure it's applied as evenly as it can be without using a mirror, and then she closes it and deposits it back in her pocket. "You're a fiend," she tells him, only partially teasing.

Dante doesn't reply to that. Nor does he step back. His hands settle firmly on her shoulders, and Lir lets him guide her to her knees, her heart thrumming in her chest at this new display of dominance from him. Can't handle being teased, sure, but that usually ends with him beneath her, growling her name as she rides him. It's never caused this sort of reaction, and she'd rub her thighs together if she weren't kneeling with them apart, because there's an ache that's quicker and fiercer than the ones she's had before.

She runs her hands up his thighs, looking up as he unbuckles his belt. "I haven't stopped thinking about you," he growls as he yanks his jeans open.

Lir smiles and scratches the denim. "Must have been hard."

Dante laughs as he pulls out his cock. It is fully erect, and he pumps his hand a few times as he adjusts the waistband around his hips. "It's hard alright."

He aims the length towards her, and Lir opens her mouth and runs her tongue over her lips. Then she carefully licks the tip, playing with it gently, softly pressing kisses to the head. She slurps a bit around the opening, playing up her lips around his flesh, her eyes steady on his. He tastes like sex, plain and simple, and her body clenches when he rubs his thumb to the tip and reveals that it is already dripping.

Dante winds a chunk of her hair around his fist, using the strands to pull her forward, his cock sliding slowly over her tongue until it nudges the back of her throat. There's already a strain from his girth, and having his eyes focused on her mouth makes her feel a bit awkward, and the tug on her roots is just shy of painful, but all of that is worth it when he rumbles deep in his chest before drawing back. The first few passes are almost gentle, and she appreciates the fact that he's trying to let her adjust. After his behavior, though, the sweetness is almost a letdown, so she reaches behind him and digs her fingers into his backside through his jeans.

Dante huffs a laugh as he cups both sides of her face, his fingers curling under her chin. Then he begins to move in earnest, fucking into her mouth, the sharp jerks of his hips giving her just enough time to draw in short breaths. It's hot as hell, and already she can feel arousal slipping from her to soak her underwear.

He fills her mouth until it almost chokes her, the head pressing into her throat. Lir swallows around him, taking a deep breath as best as she can, tears pricking at her eyes. "Feels so good," Dante groans, his thrusts shallow enough to keep him buried.

This isn't what she normally likes; Lir likes to be on top, in control, but Dante is still somehow as gentle as he is demanding, and it makes her want to please him all the more. She had started out wanting to drive him wild enough to fuck her, but now she only wants to make him come. Lir closes her eyes and sucks his length repeatedly, shivering when he lets go another deep groan.

She drops her hands to brace them on his thighs, trying to ground herself in the solid feel of the muscles beneath his jeans. The sensation of his thumb swiping a line of spit and fluid from her chin makes her moan, the sound muffled to a whine around his flesh, and he curses as he pauses with his cock buried in her throat. "Should've put you on my face," he groans. "Nearly forgot how good it feels when ya do that."

Lir's breath stutters, and she tries to pull back to speak, but the hand in her hair tenses. "Nuh uh, babe. You gonna finish what you started."

Her eyes flash when they meet his, and she moves on her own, her head bobbing up and down with renewed effort. Lir adds a hand, grabbing the base and moving with her mouth, twisting a bit as she works him.

Needing a quick rest, she slowly pulls her mouth off. Dante frowns, but she smiles at him flirtatiously, dragging her tongue along the underside. "You have something on your cock," she says; Lir tries to sound sexy, but her voice is as raw as her throat.

Dante grins. He tugs her hand away and grabs his length, stroking himself quickly. The other hand in her hair tilts her head back, and he presses the head to her lips. "Open up," he says, his tone a clear order. "I want to give you something."

She parts her lips obediently, and the warm rush of his seed coating her tongue has her insides clenching deliciously, as does the guttural moan that tears from him. Lir does her best to swallow every drop, but with her mouth open and how much of it there is, some of it spills over her chin, dripping along her throat. His knuckles brush her face as he milks his cock; by the time he's done, she's certain of two things: one, she probably looks utterly debauched.

Two, if he doesn't fuck her soon, she's gonna wind up begging for it.

Dante strokes her face with one hand, continuing to pump his cock with the other and, while he's moving leisurely, she's startled by the fact that he's still hard. They've gone more than one round before, but there's also been a bit of rest period between, and her mouth waters as he pulls her to her feet. "That's one," he says, his eyes alight with a dark mirth. "Now, when I'm all riled up, I've usually got about six shots in the chamber, so to speak, and I think you've earned some payback for winding me up like this."

He gathers some of his come from her chin, pressing his fingers between her lips until she sucks them clean. "So, what we're gonna do is get in the shower, and I'm gonna fuck you there. Then I'm gonna eat your cunt until you forget everything but my name before fuckin' you until you can't walk straight."

His words are crude and his voice is rough, and Lir can't stand the effect he has on her. Her mouth hangs open as he tugs her to stand, but before she can move to obey he presses her back against the door and kisses her. She grabs his shirt but he pulls her hands away, trapping her wrists over her head against the wood with one hand; the other drags down her front, massaging one breast, then the other, as his tongue fills her mouth.

Lir's jaw is aching still from taking his cock, but she responds when he tilts his head to force the kiss deeper. Their lips slide together as she whimpers, completely under his spell. Where was her sweet, funny Dante? He really is a demon tonight, she thinks, and when he finally lets her go she is panting and looking at him in a daze.

Dante smirks at her, and she sees the lipstick now smeared around his own mouth. She licks her lips, making his eyes narrow. He jerks his chin towards the bathroom, and Lir leads the way, feeling his presence behind her like a great cat on the prowl.

The click of the latch as he closes the door behind them has her swallowing thickly, and she doesn't have to turn to see the way he's watching her; she can feel it, as absurd as that is, as heavy on her skin as his hands had been moments ago. She leans into the stall to turn on the water, setting it scalding like she prefers, then begins to undress, keeping her back to him. There's a low, satisfied hum from Dante when she pulls her shirt over her head, before she hears rustling that means he's taking his own clothes off.

He comes up behind her, his chest pressed to her back as he herds her into the shower, and she's barely got time to say anything before he has her pinned to the wall, the cool tile sending goosebumps up her arms. "I want to actually bathe," she complains, and he laughs as he kisses just below her ear.

"Don't worry, I'll get ya nice and clean," he teases.

Lir bites her lip, loving and hating how much he's affecting her now, and the faint pop of a bottle being opened nearly makes her jump. The scent of her body wash fills the air as his soapy hands land on her shoulders, massaging the knots out. She relaxes with a moan, and he answers with a chuckle as he shifts to cup her breasts, his palms and fingers slippery and wonderful.

"You always feel so good," he murmurs. She feels his cock nudging her backside, the soap that streams down her body now making it slick as he grinds against her. Lir presses her palms flat on the tile to keep herself steady, her eyes closing as his cock pushes against her seam as his hand drags through the hair on her pubis.

Lir gasps when his touch presses to her hood. Her body is soaked in more ways than one and the glide of his fingertips against the sensitive bud as her legs shaking. "Yeah," he groans, thrusting up against her, and Lir gives a choking cry when his cock pumps against her hole.

Dante laughs and turns her around, pushing her back against the wall. "Maybe I'll take you there later," he murmurs, his voice dark and dangerous as he covers her. "Right now I need to be inside your pussy, so open up babe."

She spreads her legs and he grabs the backs of her thighs, hoisting her up with ease and pulling her down to impale her on his cock, smothering her cry with a kiss. They've barely gotten started, and already there's the familiar tightening in her core that leaves her breathless; when he grinds against her, her head spins, her fingers scrabbling against his shoulders for something to grip onto. Has it ever been this quick, this raw? She can't remember and, as he starts to thrust in earnest, she doesn't care.

"Baby, you're so tight," Dante pants.

She turns her head to capture his mouth, groaning around the kiss as his cock batters in and out of her. The orgasm builds faster than she can keep up, and after another minute she pulls back with a gasp, gripping his shoulders and dropping her head back.

Her mouth drops open as the pulsing starts, sharp and intense. "You coming already?" he growls.

He leans in as if to bite her neck, his teeth gripping her skin but not closing. Then he sweeps his tongue across her skin, sending another shudder through her, the contractions continuing on. "Dante!" Lir yelps, yanking on his hair.

He groans in answer, his hands sliding up to knead her backside. "God, I love it when you say my name like that."

His hips slow, and she moans helplessly as he rubs leisurely over her walls; because he doesn't stop, neither does her orgasm, and soon the overstimulation draws a whine from her throat every time he thrusts into her. It's tender, and sweet, and entirely too much, a pleasant sort of torture that drags on and on and on until, with a hoarse whisper of her name, the first waves of his release turn the friction of his cock silky.

Lir is trembling when he finally slips out of her body and sets her down. Her grip on him stays tight to keep herself standing, and Dante presses his forehead to hers, leaving dotted kisses on her lips. "Fuck you are so hot."

She smiles and huffs a laugh, dragging her palms down his chest. "You got me dirty again."

"Easy fix." He eases back, the spray of the water aiming between them. Through lidded eyes she watches him soap her sponge and then gently he washes her body. It's almost charming as he lifts one arm, then the other, then draws large circles around her breasts, before finally dragging the sponge in a long stripe from her chest downwards.

"Don't forget your dick," Lir jokes as he washes her thighs.

Dante looks up with a wink. "If I wash that lipstick off you're gonna have to replace it."

"Don't tempt me," she warns. "Now that I know you've got a fetish, I'm gonna wear it every day."

He grins, a little sharp. "I'm not gonna complain about fuckin' you every day."

Lir snorts and relaxes as he continues to scrub her before turning the sponge to himself. As he soaps up, she sets about washing her hair, sighing as the grime rinses down the drain, her scalp feeling much lighter once she's done. Dante nudges her, and she lets him rinse off, wondering if he's planning to stay. Threats about fucking her until she can't walk are all well and good, but she knows they'll either just go to bed or, if he's got somewhere to be in the morning, he'll head home, and she's almost sad to think about it.

Which is ridiculous.

He turns off the water and steps out, looking around for a moment before he spies the shelf with the towels. He grabs one and she leans against the tile to enjoy the sight of him drying off, his muscles covered in droplets of water that flex as he works. "You like something, sweetheart?" he jokes, peeking through his bangs.

"Fuck yes." Dante tosses a towel to her, then holds out a hand to help her from the shower. They crowd together on the bathmat, and after a quick sweep over her body, Lir winds the towel on her head to squeeze the water from her hair.

"Sexy," he teases, tugging at the end of the towel, and she swats at him with a laugh. "Hope you enjoy the break, darlin', 'cause there's a lot more to come."

She peers up at him. "Thought you were just talking big."

"Now, you know I never make a promise to a lady I can't keep." His arm snakes around her waist to pull her flush to his body, and he grins at her as he carefully pulls the towel from her hair and runs his fingers through the damp strands. "You got somewhere to be tomorrow?"

"Dinner with Kyrie."

"Guess I better get started, then."The kiss this time is more playful, but just as forceful. It does give Lir's head time to clear a bit, though, and by the time he is walking her back to the bedroom, his hands roam her body and his lips and teeth tease her mouth. This is a Dante that is more familiar, and she reaches around to squeeze his backside before snaking her hand over his hip. "Let's get you ready."

"Not yet," he replies.

Lir frowns, but he lifts her easily, half-carrying and half-dragging her to the bed. He flops on top, pulling her easily and lifting her by the hips until she is over his face. Lir leans forward to brace herself on his stomach as she feels his lips graze her slit. In the corner of her eye his cock twitches, and she gasps when his tongue nudges her clit.

Normally, he takes his time, making sure to kiss every inch of her sex until she's a writhing mess. This time, his attention stays focused on her clit, his tongue rubbing over it firmly, and she scratches over his stomach when her hands curl into fists, her head dropped as she pants raggedly. He's relentless, his thumbs keeping her folds parted to expose her pearl that throbs; it's not until his own hips roll the tiniest bit that she realizes that his cock is stiff and weeping, and Lir leans forward to lap at the fluid dripping from the tip.

Dante gives a deep groan. She feels his lips slide along her sex and then his tongue enters her, pressing deep inside. Lir pants as she rocks her hips, her movements restricted by his grip on her waist, but she manages to ride his tongue slightly, forcing the tip to press against the front wall.

She mouths at his cock, not taking it into her mouth, but tracing her lips with the tip and flickering her tongue on the opening. Too distracted by the thrust of his tongue inside her body, Lir opens her mouth to let the head sit on her tongue. Dante pumps his hips to fuck in and out of her mouth as he laps at her until his lips return to her hood and wrap around her swollen clit.

Her back bows with a keen that's choked by his length as her orgasm snaps along her spine, sharp enough that her toes curl. Dante yanks her back so she's seated firmly on his face, his tongue flicking harshly over her clit, keeping her pinned by his hands and his hips so that all she can do is endure, even when the pleasure gains a thin edge of pain.

Finally, he stops, and she slumps against the blankets when he carefully slides her off of him. "Damn," he sighs. His hands smooth over her backside, his fingers teasing along the seam of her body. "You got a choice now, doll, though it ain't much of one."

She turns her head to stare at him. "What?"

"Where I'm gonna fuck you." Dante nudges her legs apart and settles between them, leaning over her. "See, I figure I've had your mouth and I've had your cunt, but this?" He squeezes her rear. "Haven't fucked this yet. But I know it ain't really your favorite, so it's your call."

Lir peeks over her shoulder. "How do you know what is my favorite?"

He laughs and presses a kiss to her shoulder. "I can't stand how goddamn sexy you are."

His mouth moves across her back, pressing kisses against her shoulder blades before trailing down her spine. She sighs and settles into the mattress, her limbs heavy and her body relaxed from the orgasm. When Dante reaches the small of her back, he squeezes her backside again, and pushes so her hips tilt up. She feels him shift on the bed as he nibbles over her flesh until reaching the back of her thigh.

Lir gasps when she feels his tongue at her sex again. Dante pushes her up on her knees, her ass in the air as he licks her slowly. She grips the bedsheet with a groan, unable to help herself as she tilts back to open herself for more. "Greedy girl," he admonishes.

"You can't keep your hands off, and I'm the greedy one?" she mutters. He bites her thigh, drawing a yelp, before returning to her slit, where he laps at her lazily. "You're an ass."

She feels him shrug before he says, "Might wanna choose before I do it for ya."

Her lips press into a thin line as she presses her face to the quilt, thinking. Or trying to between the little jolts every time his tongue nudges beneath her hood or dips playfully into her opening; if she uses his metaphor from earlier, she's got about three rounds, and two have been used, leaving her with one to his three. She's already sensitive enough as it is, so, with a huff, she mumbles, "Next time."

"Next time?"

He moves again, and Lir feels him tug on her arms until she is kneeling, his broad chest against her back. His hands grip her hips and maneuver her to sink down on his cock, her body so wet now he glides inside with ease. Lir sighs and rolls her head back to his shoulder, and when her backside goes flush with his thighs he holds her there for a long moment.

One hand moves to her neck, cradling her chin so her head stays tilted back on his shoulder. The other moves between her legs and strokes her clit, but gentle, feather-light touches that barely register. Dante teases her as he starts to fuck her deeply, his lips dancing on her exposed neck and pressing to the juncture of her shoulder. "Next time? You realize I'm going to fill you again and again tonight?"

"Dante . . ." she groans.

He uses two fingers to open her lips, exposing her clit as his cock drags in and out of her. Then another finger begins to tease it, flicking and pressing in unguessable patterns that have her jolting. "No coming then, Lir," he warns. "I'm nowhere near done with you."

That's easier said than done. At this angle, his cock hits all the right spots, and the haphazard little shocks from her clit every time he touches it already have her in knots. But she can't find her voice, or enough of it, to do more than moan every time he fills her, so she can't warn him. His mouth trails over her shoulder, his teeth scraping lightly over her skin, and she gasps when they go sharp for a second. "Next time," he rumbles, "we'll see if you can handle all of me."

Her mouth is dry as she tries to speak, but in truth Lir can't do anything. Her body is one roll of pleasure after another, his cock pushing her closer and closer to her end, so that when she feels it becoming inevitable she lets go a whine. "Dante, please!" she gasps breathlessly.

He lets her go and she slumps forward, but his hands go immediately to her hips and yank her up and back. Dante begins to pound into her, drilling his cock inside her at a hard, fast pace so that moments later she explodes around him. She presses her face to the bed to cover her screams, her body quickly going oversensitive.

When she is sure she can't take anymore, she whimpers, and Dante pulls out. She catches sight of him looming over her as her eyes close, and then a hand covers her sex, massaging her lightly. "I'm not done with you yet," he says again. Lir feels something nudge at her lips, and when she immediately opens his cock slides into her mouth, burying into her throat.

She's too tired to do much, but that doesn't seem to bother him. He pumps his hips, the tip of his cock never leaving her mouth, as his hands roam her body; one stays over her sex, stroking lightly over her slit, while the other cups her breast and rolls her nipple between his fingers. The pleasure now is dull, soothing, and if it weren't for his touch, she'd doze. Just as she starts to, he slips a finger within her core, and her eyes fly open to find him watching her with a grin that's damn near predatory.

"Need to tap out?" he asks, the taunt clear, and she reaches up to grip the back of his thigh, urging him to keep going. He laughs, rolling her breast with his palm. "Didn't think so."

Lir shakes the haze from her mind as she purposefully begins to suck on his length. Her hand slides around his thigh to reach under for the flesh hanging there, and as she stretches to deep throat his length she strokes him gently. "Goddamn," he curses, his finger teasing her opening, and a second later he pushes his cock deep in her throat as he starts to come.

She swallows the seed as best she can, and when he pulls out there is still plenty in her mouth that she gulps down. Her head rolls to the side as she catches her breath as he lowers himself on top of her, settling between her thighs. Dante nuzzles her chest, biting along the curves of her breasts and flicking his tongue against her nipples as she sags limply under him.

Lir watches as he tastes the pink buds, swallowing thickly when he looks at her again, his expression and his voice back to the predator he has been all night. "I want you again," he growls.

She should tap out. Probably. At least, that's what Nico would say, along with a litany of curses for her being so damn stubborn, but, fuck, he'd challenged her, and she's not going to take that lying down. Or, well, she is, but she's not gonna give in and give him the impression that she can't handle it. "What the hell are you waiting for, then?"

The moment the words leave her lips, he surges forward, and she can't even cry out when he sheathes his cock within her because it knocks the air from her lungs. They've played around with overstimulation before, plenty of times, but it was always playful, while this is rough and, if she didn't know him better, dangerous. His hands clamp around her hips to cant them off the bed, and she sucks in a breath when draws back, only for it to leave her with a groan as he thrusts back in, the pace he sets near brutal.

Lir reaches up and grips the bedsheet, biting her lip as he fucks her. Her toes curl and her knees fall back and open, holding in a scream of pain and pleasure. He is simply so powerful, and it is both frightening and exhilarating to have this man, this demon, holding her and taking her like this. Never once has Lir wanted to be toyed with, to be submissive, to give up control. But with Dante she feels as though she can, she should, and so she arches her back and wraps her legs around his waist.

He groans her name, a hand on her breast, the other on her thigh. Lir is drowning in pleasure, her sex too sensitive for this, feeling every inch that pounds in and out. Dante leans forward to brace one palm on the bed and the new angle scrapes against her clit, swollen and exposed and aching. It is an exquisite sort of torture, being so desired to the point where she may not survive.

Then he drapes over her, his mouth hot and hungry as it seeks her. "Come on my cock," he orders as he kisses her, and Lir knows she has to obey. The new angle puts additional pressure on her mound, his pelvis grinding against her clit, so when her orgasm hits she barely registers except to feel the intensity of the pleasurable contractions sharpen as a fresh wave of arousal covers them both.

Through the haze, she's dimly aware of his grip on her going bruisingly tight and the warmth that fills her, so much of it that it slips out and onto the sheets. Dante pants as he kisses her, his tongue thrusting into her mouth as he fills her, and she forces herself to drape an arm over his shoulders and hold him close until he begins to slow. Even when it's over, he doesn't pull out, instead blanketing her with his body, his cock twitching within her. "Goddamn," he sighs.

Lir makes a noncommittal noise and blinks up at the ceiling. His tone and posture mean he's done, at least for now, and she's got some new things to mull over, namely how insanely fucking hot it was to be dominated by him so completely. Despite the ache already blooming between her thighs, she's thinking over different things to try to get this reaction from again: lingerie, maybe, or, hell, just sprawling naked on his bed with the lipstick on? Him kissing her shoulder draws her back to the present, and she tilts her head to peer at him.

"Where'd you go?" he jokes.

"I'm here," she says weakly.

Dante smiles and moves up, his cock sliding out of her body. Lir stifles a moan as she tries to stretch her limbs, everything feeling sore and overused, like she had spent the whole day climbing. Her eyes open and close as she hears his footsteps on the carpet, and a minute later he returns with a glass of water, nudging her to sit up.

Lir gulps it down gratefully, the water cooling her sore throat. She grabs the bottle of aspirin next to her bed and pops a few before finishing off the water and handing him the glass. "Thanks," she sighs, wiping her mouth with her hand.

Dante studies her face, his brow drawn down. "You want me to go?" he asks.

She considers it. "Nah," she says, after a moment. "Might as well stay. You've still got a toothbrush stashed in the cabinet, right?"

He has the decency to look sheepish. "You know about that?"

"Yeah. And the duffel bag kicked to the back of my closet." With a yawn, she lays back, wrinkling her nose at the wet spot on top of her quilt. "Nico's not due back for a few days, and Nero doesn't come over unannounced. Though if you stay, I'm dragging you to dinner tomorrow."

Dante grins and stands again, heading into the bathroom. Lir takes the moment to admire his backside before he disappears behind the door, and then she stares at the ceiling again, wondering what the hell she is doing. Sleeping with him is one thing; but these overnights are ridiculous. They are gonna get caught, and every time they sleep together Lir promises herself its the last time. It's important to keep the sex just sex before it becomes not just sex.

He returns a few minutes later, turning off the lights before climbing onto the bed. Dante flops in a now-familiar way, using her like a pillow with his head on her stomach. Lir laughs to herself, too tired to protest as her eyes start to close. His fingers trace nonsense patterns on her thigh that lull her into sleep, his strong body solid and sinking against hers.

#dmc #devil may cry #dante sparda #lirael thorne #lir #dante/oc #dante x oc #dante/lir #smut #writing #oneshot #smeared lipstick

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sparklingskz · 5 years

Text

the heart of the matter | kim seungmin

▸ genre: college au, fluff!!

▸ description: you’re supposed to be registered into the physics class for humanity majors but somehow you’re in the advanced class, and Seungmin comes to your rescue.

▸ word count: 2.4k

▸ a/n: some cute seungmin for u (✿◠‿◠) also idk why I added those emojis in the text messages, i was just feeling like it ig lol

“I’m sorry, but it seems you’re registered in the advanced physics class,” the woman working at the front desk answered.

“This can’t be.” Exasperation dripped from your tone. “I’m sure I enrolled in the class for humanity majors. Can you please check again?”

You watched as the woman clicked on the screen a few times. “Your name is on the advanced list, so I’m afraid you’ll need to attend that class.” She directed a sad look at you.

“Isn’t there a way to change it? Transfer me to the easier course?” you pleaded.

“You can, but only after the first semester has passed,” she said after shrugging.

You sighed. “Okay, thank you.”

It seems you’ll have to survive until the end of the semester.

When you checked your schedule that morning, your heart stopped for a second when you noticed the small “advanced physics” printed, and immediately headed towards the university’s administration to figure out what was happening.

Turns out you probably messed up when you were selecting your classes.

Anyways, there was no use to cry because of it now. You resignedly headed to the physics room, mentally preparing yourself for what was about to come.

You were standing in front of the classroom doors, pondering whether to go in or not. To say you were confident would be a complete lie. However, you needed the attendance if you wanted to pass, so you took a deep breath and stepped into the room.

You sat down on the second row and took out your materials, and were completely prepared to pay attention to try and save yourself from failing.

Oh, but it was not going to be so easy.

Only half an hour had passed and you were suffering. Physics was never your forte, and now that you had to learn things way above your level, you’d have to work twice as hard. You were trying your best, taking notes of everything the professor was saying, your hand aching every once in a while.

Some time later the lesson ended, and you quickly packed your stuff and left the classroom, feeling exhausted from all the information you had to engrave into your brain.

This was definitely going to be a tough semester.

“Why is this so difficult?” you whined as you buried your head into your hands.

You were currently at the library, your physics notes and a book opened right in front of you, trying to absorb as much knowledge as you could.

It was not going very well.

You were a humanities major, for God’s sake! All these formulas and theorems weren’t going to be of any use to you, but if you wanted to do well on your upcoming test you’d have to learn all of them by that time.

Frustration was quickly building up on you, but you picked up your book and delved right into it again.

You were jotting down a few definitions when you suddenly felt a soft voice addressing you.

“Excuse me?”

You looked up towards the voice and were met with a boy sitting on the table next to you, looking at you curiously.

“Um, yes?” you asked, wondering what he would want.

“Are you studying for the advanced physics class?”

“I’m trying,” you sighed.

“Do you want some help? I think I don’t suck that much at physics,” he said, shrugging.

At this point, you’d take any help you can get, even if you didn’t know the boy.

“If you don’t mind, that would actually be good,” you said, a small smile forming on your lips.

He returned your smile and picked up his things and moved to go sit right next to you, setting his supplies down on the table.

“Oh! I just realized I haven’t told you my name. I’m Seungmin.” He extended his hand for you to shake, and you took it.

“I’m y/n. How did you know I needed help?” you inquired.

“Well, let’s say I could feel your frustration from where I was seated, and you look like you’re one second away from having a meltdown during class.”

You laughed a bit and looked at the floor. “Yeah, I’m hopeless.”

“Don’t say that! Look, I know it may be difficult but just take a deep breath and let’s start with the basics, okay?” Seungmin said softly.

You looked up at him, and you could swear you were staring at an angel. This boy, who was very cute you might add, offering his help to you? Maybe choosing the advanced class wasn’t a complete mistake.

“There, you got it right!” Seungmin exclaimed and high-fived you.

“Looks like I’m not that hopeless after all,” you said with a smile.

Seungmin had spent the past hour teaching you, and you could say that you had understood everything. It was like he had a special way with words, he made the complicated terms you learnt in class make sense and everything sound way more simple than it probably was.

Whatever it was, you were grateful.

It was when Seungmin yawned you noticed how late it had gotten. “You must be tired, sorry for keeping you here so long trying to teach my humanities major brain,” you said, closing your books.

“It’s okay, I don’t mind. By the way, why are you taking the advanced class?” he tilted his head, like a cute puppy.

“I made a mistake when registering my classes, so now I’m stuck until the first semester ends,” you said sadly, both of you standing up and heading towards the library’s exit.

“Well, if you’d like I could continue tutoring you, I’m not that busy this semester.”

You stopped on your tracks to face him. “You’d really do that?”

“Yeah, why not? You shouldn’t have to suffer because of your mistake, and if I can help in any way, then I’d be happy to,” he finished with a smile.

Perhaps angels did exist in real life, you thought.

“If you’re sure… I would really appreciate the help.”

You both traded numbers and went your separate ways, the image of the nice boy stuck in your mind.

Some time had passed, and you had met up with Seungmin a few times to study. Well, at least most of the time, because you sometimes got off track and ended up talking about random topics and getting to know each other. You weren’t complaining, though.

You found out that the boy was actually a physics major, hence his deep understanding on the subject. He loved it, so he also loved teaching it to you (you found this piece of information especially endearing).

Every time you studied, you brought him food as to repay him, because he wouldn’t accept money and he was, as he himself put it, a “starving college student”. Turns out, you were meeting at least twice a week to eat and occasionally study, only when it was necessary as you thought it was way more fun to just talk for hours about anything and everything.

You wouldn’t deny that your heart would race a little every time you met.

However, you’d have to ignore such thoughts because you had a final exam coming up, and a large part of your grade for the course depended on the score you got. You wanted to do well so you would be able to transfer to the easier class without any regrets.

You texted Seungmin so you could meet up to (actually) study.

you (15:34 pm): hey I need help for the final exam, are u free today? (^▽^)

seungminnie ♡ (15:36 pm): do u have food

you (15:37 pm): who do u take me for, of course

seungminnie ♡ (15:38 pm): then I’m free ヽ(^◇^*)/

you (15:40 pm): see u at the library dork

You locked your phone and headed to the library.

When you got there, you immediately spotted Seungmin, who was sitting on the table you two used every time you studied there. You went over and said hello, sitting down next to him.

After talking about random topics for a few minutes, you took out your physics supplies and watched as Seungmin did the same thing.

You were looking at the amount of information you’d have to internalize, and your leg immediately started bouncing up and down, nerves flooding your entire system.

Seungmin seemed to notice your nervousness. “Y/n, you’ll do fine,” he said, resting his hand on top of your leg, stopping its bouncing. “Relax.”

How is he asking you to relax when his hand is right there, you didn’t know.

“It’s just… A lot of information,” you sighed.

“And we’ll go through it, don’t worry.” He directed a smile at you, instantly calming you down.

You trusted him, definitely. After all, he was one of the people you had grown closer to during your time in college, and you knew he did his best to teach you, taking time out of his day to help you out.

And you appreciated that.

You watched as he opened the physics book, getting everything set up for you to review. You got into your studying mindset, ignoring the way your heart jumped when of your hands brushed when reaching for your notes.

This would be a long evening.

“Come on y/n, I know you know this,” Seungmin said.

You sighed, burying your face in your hands. “I think I’m just a bit distracted.”

Oh, damn right you were. You didn’t know what was happening to you that specific day, but you weren’t paying enough attention to your textbook or Seungmin’s attempts at explaining. Instead you were paying attention to the way his hands moved enthusiastically when he was trying to express something, the way he slowly blinked when reading, or the way his mannerisms resembled a cute puppy (you couldn’t explain how, but he did).

And all this was affecting your concentration.

“Okay, you know what? Let’s take a break.” He closed the textbook. “We’ll take a nice walk around campus and come back to finish studying, how does that sound?” Seungmin said.

That definitely was better than staying in there dealing with whatever was happening to you. “Okay, let’s go.”

You both grabbed your things and went outside, and started strolling along the buildings on your campus.

The atmosphere was serene. Not many people were outside at that particular time so you both walked in a comfortable silence, Seungmin’s presence comforting beside you. You didn’t talk much except for some punctual comments here and there, preferring to just enjoy the moment and relax before going back inside.

Before you had a chance to do that, though, you both walked next to one of the green areas on campus, some trees, grass and benches adorning the area. That’s when Seungmin turned to face you.

“Hey, how about we continue studying outside? I read that a change in scenery can do the brain good when retaining information,” he said, nudging you with his elbow.

You raised your eyebrows at him. “Oh really? And where did you read that?” You asked, unconvinced.

“I don’t know, Pinterest?” he shrugged. “It doesn’t matter, it’s probably true.” He didn’t give you a chance to respond when he grabbed your hand and dragged you to sit on the grass, under the shade of a big tree.

You weren’t going to lie and say that studying there didn’t sound like a good idea.

You took out your supplies and got to work, a slight breeze surrounding you both and the feeling of soft grass under your fingertips accompanying you.

The moment you handed in your finished test, you could physically feel a weight being lifted off your shoulders. You wouldn’t have to worry about physics until after you got your results back, and you could confidently say you thought you did very well.

A week after that day, you were walking along campus next to Seungmin (“y/n you need to get out of your dorm and stop stressing over your test, you told me you did well!”), checking your phone every ten minutes to see if you got your grade back.

When you heard the typical notification sound, you froze. On the screen, an email from your physics professor was displayed for you to open.

A few seconds later, Seungmin spoke. “So? What are you waiting for, a damn invitation? Open it!”

You snapped out of it and tapped the notification, and you skimmed through the email to see how you did.

A big 87/100 was written, next to “grade”.

“I passed!” you exclaimed, jumping up and down. “Eighty-seven out of a hundred!”

In the thrill of the moment, you threw your arms around Seungmin, embracing him into a big hug. It was all thanks to him, after all.

“Thank you so so much Seungmin, I couldn’t have done it without you,” you said, retreating your arms from around his neck.

He smiled widely at you. “Please, you were the one that answered that test, I just helped,” he shrugged.

You rolled your eyes, smiling. “Don’t be modest. Hey, check your grade too!” you suddenly exclaimed.

You watched as Seungmin took out his phone from his pocket and unlocked it. He tapped the screen a few times before announcing his score, “I got a ninety-five,” he smiled at you.

“Wasn’t expecting anything less from you, to be honest.”

He playfully hit your arm because of your comment, before speaking. “This needs a celebration. Want to grab some food? It’s almost dinner time, I’ll treat.”

“Oh? What happened to ‘I’m a starving college student, please feed me?’” You raised your eyebrows at him teasingly.

“Maybe I want to treat my date to some food, I can’t do that?”

You stopped in your tracks when you heard him say that. A date? Did Seungmin like you back? Wait, you didn’t even conclude that you liked him, you just thought he was cute and had an amazing personality, you loved his laugh, the way he talked, how he was so patient with you whenever you studied, and all his little quirks and traits.

Oh.

Maybe you did like him.

“A date? As in… non-platonic?” you asked, just to clear things up.

“I mean…” He scratched his neck, not meeting your gaze. “If you don’t have a problem with it, I would like to.”

In a sudden urge of confidence, you grabbed his hand into yours, making him look up at you. “I would like to,” you said while smiling.

He gave you a bright smile in return. “Let’s get going, then.”

#stray kids #stray kids fluff #skz #stray kids imagines #stray kids scenarios #stray kids onsehots #stray kids blurbs #stray kids reactions #kim seungmin #stray kids seungmin #seungmin #seungmin fluff #seungmin imagines #seungmin scenarios #seungmin oneshots #seungmin x reader #fluff

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