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yandere-collections · 1 year

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So I was wondering. For your yandere town. What if the darling was a HUGE animal lover? Like they see some stray dog and the darling goes "ight, you are mine now".

You’re in luck. I’ve actually had the idea for a yandere pet store owner for a little while now. Rex is a big friendly man, who always has a smile on his face (he looks like Makoto from Free!). He is a huge hunk with an even bigger heart. It's hard not to melt at the sight of him bottle feeding a tiny kitten in his hands.

The shop itself serves a few purposes. Instead of just selling pets, it mostly serves as a supply shop. There isn't really the market to justify having many pets in the shop. Most of the animals end up being adopted by Rex eventually. Additionally, Rex used to be a vet in a big city before he moved into town and continues his practice here. His gentle demeanor soothes the animals in his care whether it's a puppy, a bird, or a snake. He looks after each one with the same amount of affection, even the tarantula someone has. Finally, he runs a pet daycare out of his home connected to the shop for people who need to leave town or work late hours.

That's where you come in. With your love of animals, of course the two of you would cross paths. You happened across a cat outdoors. You coaxed it over, looking for any sign of ownership. It seemed perfectly happy to let you pick it up and examine it. You hoped it wasn't someone's cat that they let outside (outdoor cats are not good everyone, they're destructive to the environment and spread parasites). You decided to bring it to Rex, wanting to see if he knew its owner or if it was chipped. How could he not fall in love, seeing the cat purring in your arms and refusing to leave. He scanned between its shoulders, finding the contact info of his owner. He left to make a phone call, coming back a few minutes later. Apparently his owner had been worried after her cat escaped out a window.

The two of you got to talking and Rex took the time to show you the other animals in his care. He watched you coo at the puppies and lizards sleeping under a heat lamp. How could he not extend the offer to you? He could always use an extra set of hands.

If you say yes, most residents will find an excuse to come in. Anyone who doesn't have a pet will adopt one as a way to connect with you. They'll leave it at the daycare in the hopes you'll be there when they come back to pick their pet up. Rex works alongside you, protecting you from the more aggressive citizens. He loves taking the opportunity to show off for you. He could sling large bags of dog food with ease, something he always insisted on doing instead of you. He was also surprisingly good at math, able to calculate prices fairly quickly.

He has a cousin named Lumi who moved to town two years after Rex did, but she rarely speaks to him. She's far more reclusive. You might see her peaking out at you from the shadows of the fish and aquarium supply shop across the street. (i haven't seen totally drama island but she kind of looks like gwen from that)

#sorry this took so long anon #hopefully this makes up for it #i got a new job and the hours are kicking my ass #yandere town #yandere scenario #yandere imagines #yandere x reader #male yandere #female yandere at the end #my writing

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little-pup-pip · 6 months

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Since someone requested a Rowdyruff Boys moodboard earlier, could you also make an individual one for each of them? If you don't want to make all three, can you just do Butch?

You got it!!

#sorry this took so long anon #making three in one is new for me #technical difficulties lol #anyway i hope you like them!!#sfw agere #moodboard #sfw interaction only #age regression #agere #sfw littlespace #babyre #agere moodboard #rowdyruff boys #formatting #why

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y0rk-ie · 6 months

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can we see the aftermath of snipers failed "seduce me" attempt

Spy found out how cheap the wine was and unleashed his rage.

#y0rkie productions #Sorry this took so long anon #Was originally working on a comic-like response for this but gave up so here's family guy death pose Sniper #you ask i answer #tf2 sniper #tf2 shitpost

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tame-a-messenger · 5 months

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Idk how to describe it, but Angela reminds me of a teenage boy. Specifically like a 13 - 15 year old.

Ah yes, my favorite genre of woman.

13 year old boy

#I fully agree #she does have “boy” energy #angela giarratana #sorry this took so long anon #ive been busy irl

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mossyflowers · 2 years

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Question for the siblings/ex deities, since you said the ask box was open.

I know you guys had domains aligning with the 4 horsemen before losing your guys' powers, war, famine, etc. Did you guys have any other sort of domains or powers though?

#cult of the lamb #cotl #cult of the lamb spoilers #narinder #the one who waits #cotl leshy #cotl heket #cotl kallamar #cotl shamura #SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG ANON #but uuh yea anyways!! i like to think they all had a bunch of mini things attached to their main domain #there's too many for me to write out tho so just decided to name the big ones #i think i'm getting better at drawing all of them #nari's probably my favorite to draw tho just because he's the easiest FJVSBHSHJ #remade bishops au

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just-glyss · 2 years

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Dexter as a damsel and Raven as a knight in shining armor, please?

~ The damsel and his knight⚔️ ~ (requests)

#ever after high #eah #eah fanart #raven queen #dexter charming #raven x dexter #requests #glyss doodles #glyss art #idk what their ship name even is 😭#which sucks because i love raven and dexter #theyre dynamic is just so pure #they just want to live their lives and be in love yk #sorry this took so long anon #ravens outfit inspired by her dragon games one #dexters dress inspired by his regular outfit lol #have a nice rest of the day!! 💗#i loved working on this so much

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my-my-my · 2 years

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Hcs of Aizen in love 🥰 like how would he act, feel, think in a serious relationship? It could be either before deicide or after :)

Hmm this one made me think a bit! I think the way Aizen interacts with a s/o in a serious relationship will be dependent on when it happens, so I'm going to break this into how I HC him during different time periods!

The one thing I think that's important to keep in mind is that Aizen is very careful about how he is being perceived by others, so his s/o will also be a reflection of that (to varying degrees).

I'm putting this under a cut because it'll be long!

Lieutenant Aizen

If there's someone who's grabbed Aizen's attention, he's going to go about it in a very seemingly innocent way. I think Aizen would be surprised that someone caught his attention, I mean in his plans, he probably didn’t expect to fall in love! So he has to be aware on how he approaches you, while working towards his goal.

He's going to act very bashful around you, lots of blushes, maybe a few moments of stuttering, and it comes across as genuine to you and everyone else. If you're in a serious relationship with this Aizen, I think to everyone else, you are the "cute", "wholesome" couple in Soul Society!! The couple that has matching bentos/lunches together, etc. He goes the extra mile to be sweet, almost sickeningly sweet, but you wouldn't know any better.

You might see glimpses of his intensity when he takes off his glasses, but they're so brief that it makes you think you're imagining things, I mean, he may be a lieutenant, but there's no way this guy has a mean bone in his body, right? Captain Aizen So this will be similar to when he was a Lieutenant, but there's an a bit of ✨maturity✨ in his actions. He's less bashful, you don't see him blush as often, but he's still as kind. He's thoughtful and he listens to your problems, no matter how trivial they may seem to you. He just knows when you're upset about something, and has the pick-me-up you need, or knows exactly what to say, to help you feel better. He might open up at this stage about his interests, maybe even share with you what he's reading and writing. He gauges your reactions, he asks you seemingly innocuous questions about positions of power, structure and philosophical ones like existence and god. If, and it's a BIG IF, you are able to answer this to his liking (aka you have similar values), he might let you on with his big plan. If not... you, like everyone else, will be left with an illusion corpse. I think he would feel disappointed if you didn’t catch on, kinda reinforcing his beliefs that he is alone in this world. I think depending on how close he felt to you, he would try to mercy kill you like he did with Momo. Hueco Mundo Aizen up until the aftermath of FKT

You would be treated like royalty in HM, I think. At this point, you have seen the very extreme duality Aizen presents. You’ve known for centuries his “kind” soft, but are now witnessing his real self. I think you’d have to be accustomed to his brutality - if you weren’t, you wouldn’t have made it this far.

He would value your input in his plans, but would also have back up plans for you if his plans were to fail. He wouldn’t let you accompany him, Gin and Tosen to FKT. Before the other shinigami reached HM, you’d be safe.

I can sadly see him using KS on you to make you forget about him. I think he knows you’re strong enough to live on without him (you’ve made it this far, after all!) but for your own safety, he doesn’t want you tied up in his involvement. The only thing awaiting you, if for some reason he gets caught, is death. I’m sure Aizen would feel saddened at the potential thought of wiping your memories for the sake of your safety, but this is a man on a mission, and you were the one person who couldn’t account for. For a man as meticulous as he is, I think he would plan for your safety and execute it before meeting it with the other shinigami and arrancar in FKT.

Post-Deicide

At this point, Aizen’s fate is sealed, he’s immortal, he lives in Muken for 20,000 years. Whether or not he wiped your memory, I think he would be pleased knowing you were safe away from all of this. At least one of his plans worked, right? A part of him will long for you, but being immortal, and if reincarnation exists, maybe in his lifetime, he will meet with you once again.

#sorry this took so long anon #bleach #aizen sousuke #sousuke aizen #aizen sosuke #sosuke aizen #answered #anonymous #aizen headcanon #anon asks #bleach asks #writings #bleach writings

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adipostsstuff · 4 months

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Re: “I didn't see anyone theorise that Shidou's victims were braindead patients whose organs he transferred to healthier patients like they did,” you might not have seen any in the English language, but Milgram’s main audience is Japan. There are many theory posts in Japanese that are not seen by an English speaking / Western audience. When Milgram breaks the fourth wall, they do not use opinions from the English audience. English is not the native language, after all. It is impressive that the project has become so popular among English fans, but the intended audience was not them. The audience participation only works if the writers understand what the audience is saying, and accurate translations take a lot of effort and time, after all. Of course, you are correct that Es probably chooses the theory they think makes the most sense. Es’s character works as it does because they use the audience’s theory, but still have their own opinions.

Its true there are theories I didn't see due to the language barrier and being on different platforms, though I did use the auto translate feature on the YouTube app to see some of the worldwide theories and I didn't see anything. I wouldn't say that they do not consider the English-speaking point of view on the series as they did subtly hint at the "incident" with Mikoto's trial in the Second Trial Commencement video with the "he caused quite some trouble" and the "You can vote based on sexual inclination" (awful that this is the best example I have), and this inky happened with the English fanbase.

#milgram #Sorry this took so long anon

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intersex-support · 2 years

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TW: menstrual stuff, extreme bleeding/// Sorry if this is a strange question but I keep searching for an answer and turning up nothing. I’ve always had pretty infrequent/irregular periods, which were heavy and painful when I did have them. But in 2020, I actually had an emergency where my period wouldn’t stop and the bleeding progressively got worse and worse until I was severely anemic and passing massive clots. I ended up getting sent to the ER for a blood transfusion (which they wouldn’t do because iirc I was right at the threshold for one but not below it, so they were like welp. Sucks to be you). In the midst of all that, I’m pretty sure I was diagnosed with PCOS, but I was so sick and everything was so confusing that I don’t know for sure whether that was a proper diagnosis or a more informal one based on the cysts detected on my ovaries and signs of hyperandrogenism, primarily my beard. I suppose it’s possible it’s NCAH instead.

Basically, the thing on my mind is that I can’t seem to find stories of other people with PCOS having an emergency like the one I had. It was seriously a scary and potentially deadly level of bleeding. It took me half a year to recover. I’m really scared of it happening again, but can’t find any information from others who have experienced it. So, shot in the dark, but are there any intersex conditions that could result in something like that? PCOS, NCAH, any others? I just am really anxious to find some lead on why that happened to me, because doctors have been no help, predictably… sorry again if this is a weird question, no pressure to answer if I’m barking up the wrong tree

Hi, anon.

So sorry that it took so long to answer while we have been on hiatus and thank you so much for your patience.

That sounds like a really scary and traumatic experience to go through, and I'm so sorry that your doctors have not been helpful in giving you answers or assurance. I hope that you've been able to find information since you asked this question, but I'll share everything that I do know.

Heavy periods are often caused by having too low progesterone. Usually, estrogen levels and progesterone levels are balanced and regulate the lining of the uterus. If they become unbalanced, the lining of the uterus will build up and then eventually shed through a heavy period. Heavy periods can also be caused by anovulation, which is when you are not releasing eggs during your menstral cycle and your progesterone levels are affected. Both PCOS and NCAH are associated with anovulation, but in different ways.

Doctors are still figuring out a lot about PCOS and haven't completely come to consensus about a lot of stuff with PCOS yet, but there's some research I've read that has talked about how hyperandrogenism in PCOS is caused by an imbalance in another type of hormone called the follicle stimulating hormone and luteinizing hormone. I'm not going to get into everything about how it works, but basically, the LH:FSH ratio in people with PCOS is imbalanced, and this causes hyperandrogenism and anovulation. This does cause heavy periods in a lot of people with PCOS, although most people don't report having bleeding as severe as what you've described.

For NCAH, the hyperandrogenism is caused by a malfunction in the adrenal gland where the adrenal glands keep sending signals to produce more cortisol, but the body processes those instructions and converts them to androgens instead, causing high testosterone and other symptoms. This can cause anovulation, but heavy periods are less common with NCAH. People with NCAH are more likely to report irregular or missing periods than heavy periods.

I had a fairly similiar experience to you. I'm diagnosed with NCAH, and I had very, very heavy periods that would last for months at a time. I got very severe anemia because of it and at one point, my doctors discussed whether I needed a blood transfusion because my periods were so severe. I've met a few other people with CAH who have had this experience. I don't think it's as typical as having infrequent or no periods with CAH, but I think that there is defintely some of us who have CAH who experience very heavy periods.

The things you've described are actually enough to get a clinical diagnosis of PCOS--you only need to have two out of the main three categories, and you hit all three. PCOS is clinically diagnosed by the prescene of ovarian cysts, hyperandrogenism, whether it's measured by the testosterone level in your blood or by the clinical signs of hyperandrogenism like hirsutism, and having irregular periods. Since you experience irregular periods, have ovarian cysts, and have symptoms of hyperandrogenism, you would absolutely meet the diagnostic requirements for PCOS, and it sounds like they might have diagnosed you. PCOS could have caused your heavy periods, although I think it might be worth it to continue looking into some other options, because what you've described seems more severe than the typical experience with PCOS. PCOS is sort of a complicated diagnosis as it's diagnosed based on symptoms rather than by a genetic cause, and some doctors think that it and NCAH might be the same thing, so sometimes doctors do just diagnose every AFAB person who has hyperandrogenism with PCOS without looking further into what might be causing it. So even though you might have been diagnosed with PCOS, there might be some more things you still want to look into to see if multiple things could be contributing.

If you're interested in exploring a diagnosis for NCAH, you would want to get your 17 OHP levels checked and have an ACTH stimulation test. That could tell you whether you have CAH, and might help provide some guidance on what the best options for managing periods would be. I think it might also be worth looking into a few options that are not intersex variations. I can't speak as much on these, but it would absolutely be worth ruling out if you have uterine fibroids, endometriosis, or if you have an undiagnosed bleeding disorder like hemophilia or von Willebrand's disease.

Disclaimer that I can't give medical advice and that this is only my experience, but the only thing that has helped me with my heavy periods was getting a progesterone based IUD (a Mirena IUD). Having consistent levels of progesterone stopped my periods completely and I have not had periods for four years with it. It was truly a lifesaver for me and I would defintely consider bringing it up with your doctor to see if that's an option that you might want to explore. It doesn't work for everyone and might not be what your body needs, but is worth learning more about in my opinion.

TL;DR

Heavy periods can often be caused by hormone imbalances with progesterone. Both PCOS and NCAH can cause heavy periods, but heavy periods are more associated with PCOS. Those are the most likely intersex variations that could cause heavy periods, but you might also want to look into things like bleeding disorders and uterine fibroids.

Overall, I really know what it's like and I'm sorry that you've been having to navigate this challenging experience. Navigating the medical system with these type of symptoms is so hard, especially when doctors don't take intersex people seriously. If you're interested in any intersex community resources, please reach back out, because you would defintely be welcome. I really hope the best for you, anon, and feel free to ask any other questions.

-Mod E

#asks #actuallyintersex #intersex #pcos #ncah #chronic illness #sorry this took so long anon #and sorry this post is so long!

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philscoupons · 2 years

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second date - (johnny knoxville x m!reader)

word count: 3.0k (this got a little out of hand) tags/warnings: mlm. smut. there’s like, no plot. it’s basically pure filth. drinking. swearing. nsfw. you guys know the drill. summary: reader is one of the newer guys on set, and has a crush on knoxville. little do they know, the feelings are not unrequited. drinking and sex ensue. a/n: thank you for the request, anon.

I rarely declined an invite to go out and party with the boys, however so rarely they came in. Filming wrapped surprisingly early today, and an invite was extended to a few other camera guys and I to "come out and grab a few drinks," as Chris Pontius put it. We all piled into our cars, many of the guys riding with each other- I'd learned very quickly that it's easier to pick up 4 or 5 cars from the bar in the morning as opposed to 11.

I ended up in the back of Johnny Knoxville's car, squished between Pontius and another one of the camera crew.

"We're going to Charlie’s, we're like their favorite group that comes in," Pontius explained.

"I think that's just because we make them the most money," Knoxville commented, glancing back in the rearview mirror and winking at me.

I jokingly raised an eyebrow back at him and he smiled before looking back at the road.

I’d had a crush on Knoxville since I started working for Dickhouse about a month earlier. He acted a little gay around everyone though, so I learned to think nothing of it when he did it with me.

The boys struck up usual conversation with us, asking how the shots came out today, if Tremaine seemed satisfied, etc etc. and before I knew it, Johnny pulled into the parking lot of Charlie’s.

"Okay, as much as I love being graced by y'all's presence, get out of my car."

Johnny smiled his million dollar smile at us, and we all laughed and piled out of his car as everyone else was beginning to arrive.

The night began with a round of tequila shots, courtesy of Steve-O, (even though it was all going on Tremaine’s tab anyways).

“Nothing good starts off with tequila shots,” Johnny grinned, downing his.

“I beg to differ,” I smiled back, downing mine and relinquishing the burn of it down my throat.

I took a seat at the bar, and for reasons unbeknownst to me, Johnny slid into the seat next to mine.

“So, I know you’re kind of new, how’s everyone treating you?” He asked while waving the bartender over.

"Everyone's been great, actually, thanks for asking. You guys are actually really nice for a group of guys advertised to be assholes."

Johnny laughed hard at that, holding his glasses to his head as he did.

"You'd be surprised... I assume you haven't fallen victim to any pranks yet?"

"Not yet, thankfully, I'd guess I have it coming now, don't I?"

"Yeah, you might've just scooted yourself higher up on my list, sweetheart.”

I brushed off the last bit, I was still getting used to his habit of calling everyone pet names.

"What do you have like a hit list?"

Johnny laughed again, and I couldn’t help but grin back at him.

"Somethin' like that."

The bartender finally made his way over to us, “What can I get you two fellas?”

“I’ll have rum and coke and he’ll have…” Johnny looked at me expectantly.

“Uh, a Manhattan, please.”

“Comin’ right up!”

“A Manhattan, huh?” Johnny teased, and I could feel my cheeks heating up. I was a blushing mess until I got enough alcohol in me.

“No matter how nice you guys are, a new job is stressful.”

“I’ll drink to that, darlin’.”

And in perfect time, the bartender brought our drinks over.

“So, do you harass all the new guys, or is it just me?” I picked the teasing back up as I picked up my drink.

Johnny chuckled before replying, “Just the hot ones,” he said, holding eye contact, or as much as one could with sunglasses on.

I couldn’t hide the blush creeping up my cheeks this time, and ducked my head in embarrassment.

“Are you sure you wouldn’t rather be over with the rest of the guys?”

We both looked over at the rest of the group, which had very quickly devolved into chaos. Steve-O was performing some sort of trick on a table, and the rest of the guys had gathered around him, drinks in hand, cheering him on.

“Nah, they get me every other night, plus, I think I’ve seen every single one of O’s bar tricks.”

I nodded and took another sip of my drink before saying what was on my mind, “Not that I’m complaining, just means more of you for me.”

Johnny cocked an eyebrow, “Do you always hit on your coworkers, or is it just me?” he mocked.

“Just the hot ones,” I laughed and set my glass down.

As the night went on and the drinks kept rolling in, Johnny and I got increasingly more bold in our flirtations. The straw that broke the camel's back was Pontius, ever the wingman, “tripping” (shoving) me into Johnny. Knoxville caught me with an arm around my waist, and I stayed pressed to his front even after I got my feet under me.

“Shit, I almost ended up on my knees for you already, I usually wait till the second date for that.” I smirked up at him, liquid courage dissipating my usual brain to mouth filter.

Johnny raised his eyebrows in surprise before smirking back and tightening the grip he had on my waist.

“Well, darlin’, why don’t we call this the first date, and we can go have the second date back at my place.”

I swallowed any hesitation and drowned it with the rest of my drink, “Sounds like a plan to me, captain.”

Knoxville kept his hold on me, leading me around the bar to bid our farewells to everyone.

"Practice safe sex!" Steve-O yelled after us, and Pontius joined him in the heckling, "Use a condom!"

I chuckled and ducked my head into Johnny's side.

"They mean well," he reassured me.

"I know, I know."

We passed through the front door of the bar, and I shivered as the cool night air hit my body; Johnny hugged me a little tighter to him.

"We'll call a cab, yeah?"

"Yeah, both of us have had way too many drinks to drive.”

"Agreed." Johnny hailed us a cab and we began the short ride to his place. Once Johnny let go of my waist to sit down in the car, his hand immediately found its way onto my thigh. Now that the man had gotten a small taste of contact, it was like he couldn't let go. I looked at him, and pointedly down at his hand with an eyebrow raised.

"Don't worry, I'm not into that kind of thing," he chuckled, and I laughed along with him.

"Good, I was a little worried there for a second."

He smiled again and I found my eyes trailing down to his lips; I had to remind myself, just a few more minutes before I could kiss him. The tension in the cab was palpable, and in the back of my mind I briefly felt bad for the cab driver.

Johnny and I both thanked the cab driver when we arrived, and Johnny left him a hefty tip.

As soon as we were through the front door, Johnny had me pressed up against it, one hand on my waist, and the other tangled in the hair at the back of my neck. "I watched your eyes on my lips the entire ride back here."

"You gonna do something about it?" I challenged him with a smirk.

With that, Johnny leaned in and kissed me.

Johnny kissed the same way he flirts, smooth, and straightforward, and damn is he good at it. I immediately let myself melt into the kiss, parting my lips for him to slide his tongue in. He tasted like cheap liquor and even cheaper cigarettes, but it was intoxicating. He tightened his grip on the back of my neck, and I felt absolutely hopeless, one hand bunched in his shirt, and the other gripping his bicep.

He pulled away and I huffed at the sudden loss of contact.

"I believe you promised a sort of second date ritual?"

I nodded, taking a second to catch my breath, "Somewhere more comfortable?"

"Yeah, my room is just around the corner."

He pulled me in for another quick kiss- this one more teeth and tongue than the last- before grabbing my hand and leading me too his room.

As soon as we were past the threshold, I spun him back around and connected my lips to his. He backed up until he was sitting on the edge of his bed and I pulled away to catch my breath again.

“Is this okay?” He asked, ever the gentleman.

"More than okay," I breathed, moving in to kiss his neck.

"Hold on-" he stopped me momentarily, leaning away enough to lift his shirt up and over his head, chucking it haphazardly on the floor, "okay, now you've got the green light."

I smiled at him and moved back to where I was, kissing and sucking down his neck.

"The boys- are gonna give us shit- tomorrow," he said between breathy moans.

"We'll deal with it tomorrow."

I continued my assault on his neck, biting lightly on his pulse point before kissing down his chest.

"Shit, sweetheart- we're gonna be here all night."

"Be patient, would you?" I chastised between kisses.

"Patience, is not one of my virtues,” he shot back.

I scoffed and moved my hands to his belt and adjusted myself so I was kneeling between his legs. I occupied myself with unfastening the buckle and undoing his pants under neath it while he toed his shoes off. Johnny pushed his hips off the bed and allowed me to slide his pants and boxers down and off his legs.

I decided I was going to tease him more and started kissing up his legs, starting at his knees, and switching to biting and sucking as I made my way closer to his quickly hardening dick.

"Fuck- you have a thing for marks, huh?"

"What makes you say that?" I smirk up at him before sucking another mark into his skin, this time right below his hip.

He let out another breathy moan before threading his fingers through my hair, “Please-" he breathed out.

That was all I was waiting for, "Please what?"

"Please touch me already.”

"Since you asked so nicely." I wrapped my hand around his dick and pumped it a few times before taking it in my mouth. The tension melted out of Johnny's body as he relaxed into the hold I had on him.

"Holy mother of-" He cut himself off with a groan as I ran my tongue along the length of his dick.

I sucked and rubbed my tongue over his head, which drew another moan out of the man above me. His grip on my hair tightened as I relaxed my jaw and allowed his dick to slide further into my mouth. Taking a deep breath in through my nose, I looked up at him and found his eyes already on mine as I took the whole length of his erection down my throat.

Johnny looked like the image of bliss as he slammed his eyes shut, mouth hung open in a perpetual o-shape, abs tight while one hand gripped the edge of the bed and the other held my head down between his legs. I took another breath through my nose and swallowed around him, ignoring the ache in my jaw. The noises he was making were downright pornagraphic, moaning and cursing as I moved my tongue around his length. Despite my grip on his hips, he bucked upward and tears sprang to my eyes as I fought my gag reflex. Needing a real breath, I lightly opposed the pressure of his hand and he took it away, allowing me to pull away and catch some air before I licked a stripe up the underside of his dick.

“Darlin’-” he was able to groan out, “slow down-”

I took my mouth off of him, “Everything okay?” I asked, my voice already half way to wrecked.

“You look stunning on your knees for me, sweetheart, but if you stay down there this’ll be over quicker than I’d like.”

I nodded in agreement as his praise went straight to my dick, which I was suddenly painfully aware of. Before I could reach down and ease some of the discomfort, he moved the hand he had in my hair to grip my jaw lightly. He guided me back up to a standing position and pulled me in to kiss him again. I let out a pathetic whine as he kissed me deep and slow. I was left in the same position I was at the front door; holding onto him for dear life as he kissed me like the world was ending. He slid his hands up my shirt, sliding it up my body before breaking the kiss to get it up and over my head.

“You have entirely too many clothes on for my liking,” he said before moving on to my pants and making quick work of those. I bit my tongue to keep from whining as his hand brushed over my aching erection through my boxers.

“What was that?” he mocked, presumably getting back at me for earlier.

“Really funny, Knoxville,” I groaned out.

He laughed and worked my boxers down my legs too. We were both finally completely exposed to each other, and Johny sat back a bit, hands framing my sides, admiring. He wolf whistled and moved his hands to my hips before pulling me back onto the bed with him, flipping us over as I fell. I was slightly surprised, as that was about as much coordination as I’d ever seen out of him. He left his body hovering over mine, close enough to exchange heat, skin barely touching in some places.

"Johnny," I started, tone embarrassingly desperate.

He replied with a smirk and a hand resting over my dick, "You can use your words, sweetheart."

I huffed at him and moved to thrust up into his hand, but he moved it away.

“I’m only getting payback.”

I should’ve known he was going to pull some shit like this. I threw away whatever sliver of dignity I had left before replying, quietly, “...Please, touch me.”

“I’m sorry darlin’ I couldn’t hear you.

God, he was mean.

“Please, touch me, my dick, something, anything, please.”

“Atta boy,” he praised me again and wrapped his hand around my dick. He gave a few experimental pumps before starting a mind melting pace. I bit my lip to keep from moaning out again, and Johnny noticed, again. Slowing his pace, he rolled us onto our sides so he could hold my face in one hand. Using his thumb, he traced over my lips, pulling my bottom one out from between my teeth.

“I want to hear you, I didn’t wait all night for this for you to hold back on me.”

I took a second to nod, as forming an understandable verbal response with his hand on my dick was slightly difficult.

“Y-yeah, okay.”

He smiled at me softly and moved back to holding himself up over me while picking the pace of his hand back up.

I threw my head back, moaning something incomprehensible as he thumbed over the head of my cock.

“I’m close, Johnny- fuck-”

“Can I jerk us off together?”

I barely registered the bluntness of the request before I was nodding yes again, “Yes, please, fuck, anything, I don’t care-”

Johnny brough his hand up to his mouth and spit into it before holding it to my mouth, “Spit,” he commanded. I obeyed and spit into his open palm. He rubbed our shared spit over my dick and his before sliding both of our length’s together in his hand. Thrusting in unison with his hand, he picked up a maddening pace.

If nirvana existed, I was convinced this was it. Sharing heat, skin, breath, simple existence, with Johnny. The world outside of his legs tangled in mine and his hand around my dick melted away. It was him and I at the edge of the universe, surrounded by a constant state of bliss and pleasure, yet completely absorbed in each other. And Johnny was in the image of a god; everything about him in that moment was perfect. His long, lanky arm muscles flexed as he worked, abs tightening as he neared his release, eyebrows furroughed with effort. I would’ve reached up and smoothed them out if I had half the mind to move at all.

I was pulled out of my thoughts by his mouth on my neck, biting a mark onto my pulse point. I whined and shook in his grasp.

“I’m so close Johnny, please don’t stop.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it, sweetheart,” he groaned out, hips and hand falling out of rhythm, “Cum with me, okay?”

My orgasm hit me before I could reply, and his hips stuttered as he came along side me. I moaned as he bit into my shoulder, grunting out the rest of his orgasm. My hips twitched up into his hand as I rode out the rest of my orgasm, whining when his hand became too much. My vision blacked out for a second as Johnny lowered himself to rest on top of me. Our chests heaved in time with each other, both of us trying to catch our breaths. When my vision faded back in, Johnny was looking at me with hooded eyes and a dopey grin.

I smiled back at him, sticking my tongue out slightly.

“Give me a second to catch my breath and I’ll go grab a towel,” he said.

“I need a minute too,” I chuckled.

“If this is the second date, then I can’t wait for the third.”

“...Are you asking me out, Johnny Knoxville?”

“Only if you’ll say yes.”

“After that? I’d be crazy to say no.”

#johnny knoxville #johnny knoxville x reader #johnny knoxville x m!reader #jackass #sorry this took so long anon

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