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damn-stark · 1 year

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Chapter 4 This charming man

Tragedy at the Miller’s Chapter 4

A/N- Not ready for what’s coming

Warning- ANGST, talks of death, swearing, long chapter, fluff :)

Pairing- Joel Miller x daughter!reader, Henry x Fem!reader

Episode- 1x06 (not all of it)

(If you want to be tagged let me know!)

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Family reunions are supposed to be heartwarming, joyful!

Maybe it was for the first 10 minutes, but now it’s awkward, there’s tension, there’d be deafening silence but the area you’re at is filled with the sound of obnoxious chewing. It’s an annoying sound, a usual pet peeve of yours, but right now, fuck it, it’s the first real meal you’ve had in two years.

“There’s more if you need it,” Maria interjects through the urgency of all the chewing.

“Thank you, ma’am,” your dad says when he finishes chewing. “It’s been a while since we’ve had a proper meal.”

You smile up at her with your mouth full of food and nod in agreement. Your uncle Tommy notices and shakes his head in disapproval, but he can’t help but smile faintly.

“Actually, I don’t think I’ve ever had a proper meal,” Ellie cuts in, causing you to slowly swallow your food and look at her with a bit of pity—“this is fuckin’ amazing.”

Your dad shoots her a pointed glare before looking up at the couple in front of him. “Sorry,” he apologizes for her, while you stifle your laugh with the food you shove in your mouth. “Ellie, let’s mind our manners.”

You smirk down at your food, but feel your uncle pat your back. “Don’t worry,” he adds. “Someone tends to have a way with words too.”

You look over at him and respond back with your mouth full of food. “I’m just expressin’ my freedom of speech.” You shoot him a smile and then return to eating, bringing back a bit of silence.

Albeit seconds later the peace is broken by Ellie snapping at someone behind you. “What?!”

You slowly peek behind you and see a girl storming off; you actually recognize her, albeit she was younger then. She liked to help with your sets when you did plays, she’s cool. But yes you understand Ellie’s…caution towards her just staring, but! you don’t get the snappy attitude.

“What’s wrong with you?” You remark Ellie with a pointed look.

“What about her manners?” She counters.

You roll your eyes and catch your uncle's curious gaze at that moment, so you can’t help but smirk faintly now in response—he’ll get hell of a kick out of her, he just needs to get to know her.

“She was just curious,” Maria tries to explain. “Kids around here don’t usually look or talk like you.”

“Right.” Ellie nods. “Well, maybe I’ll teach them. And I want my gun back.”

Yeah that’s not happening.

“They also aren’t armed,” Maria says.

You set your silverware down and grab your cup of water, whilst your uncle interjects. “You know what? Uh, I think maybe y’all got a little off on the wrong foot.”

“She was gonna have her guys kill us,” Ellie snaps right away.

“Well, we gotta be real careful about who we let in this place,” your uncle explains. “But it’s all bark. We’re just tryna scare off those who might wanna try us is all.”

You sit back and sip your water, only choosing to hear the argument being had.

You wouldn't be as…uhm…bold as Ellie, but you also understand her uneasiness of this place and all those people. You were new once too; afraid of everyone and cautious of everything.

“Well, you got a couple of 90-year-olds shitting themselves out there. Not much of a superstition, is it y/n?” She argues with a pointed glare aimed at you.

What? What the hell did you do?

“Ellie,” your dad warns her.

“They say that you leave dead bodies around?” Ellie remarks to your uncle and Maria again.

Now your uncle glances at you and passes an amused look at you right as Maria answers Ellie just as quickly. “Those are the people that tried us.”

“A bad reputation doesn't mean you’re bad,” your uncle adds.

“Not always, at least,” Maria adds in, and you catch her pointed look aimed at your father; which only makes you begin to frown as things get awkward. At least for you since you know the context behind her judgment.

“Ma’am,” your dad cuts in thereafter. “We’re grateful for your hospitality and all,” he pauses and looks between you, your uncle and Ellie. “But it’d be nice to have a moment here, maybe just for family.”

Oh right, given your silent treatment, you never actually talked much about this place or about your life here to him—that makes things uncomfortable. So you slouch and put your cup down to stare at the water.

“Well, uh,” your uncle interjects as he straightens up on his chair. “Maria is family, actually.”

You glance over at them and offer them a soft smile, but when you glance over at your father and see his face of slight disbelief your smile falters.

Why does he look so shocked? It was going to happen.

“Oh, shit! Congrats.” Ellie adds, but you can’t tell if she’s being sarcastic or genuine—probably sarcastic giving she’s not really liking Maria.

“Joel, say congrats,” Ellie whispers to your dad like if he’s some kid that needs a reminder.

A moment of awkward silence passes before your dad says it back a bit dryly. “Congrats.”

Can’t say you’re surprised, he didn’t like Henry at first either.

“She’s the one that helped me get this one through her teenage phase,” your uncle says and pats your shoulder to give it a small squeeze.

You look up at the both of them and smirk before glancing at your dad.

“I can’t say she made it hard,” Maria adds. “She was good…up until she left.”

You scoff and look over at her with a smirk. “Mama,” you whisper. “Besides, I wasn't a teenager then, I was 22.”

“You acted like one,” she rebuttals.

You roll your eyes in a lighthearted manner and shake your head, while your uncle grabs your shoulder and interjects with a lighthearted tone. “How old are you now, Sunny? Old?”

You snap your eyes to him and get ready to spat back, but he continues. “You even have gray hair there.” He points to the side of your head.

Your eyes go wide and you pick up your spoon to see your reflection through it, but he begins to snicker.

“Oh wait, it's just dirt.” He laughs.

You scoff and push his arm off you. “At least I can wash mine off, unlike you,” you counter and use your eyes to point to the white hairs on his side.

He snickers and you glance away, catching your dads gaze and slowly frowning as you catch that same hurt look you caught earlier. Your uncle Tommy notices a glimpse of your tension and sighs before breaking it. “How ‘bout a tour?”

Maria nods. “Yeah.”

Once you’re all completely done with your food you step out again. And you're not obligated to tag along, you knew this place already, it was home, but you want to accompany Ellie until she and your dad get some place to go for however long they’re staying—or correction for however long she’s staying, who knows if your dad has changed his mind about letting your uncle take her.

If he doesn’t then….you’ll go with her and your uncle. Even if being surrounded by the tall walls of Jackson made you finally feel completely safe, and let you drop the habit of needing to look over your shoulder every few seconds. Here you also didn’t have to live on the edge hoping that some infected wouldn’t creep up on you, or some fucker wouldn’t jump you out of nowhere. But if it meant being her one piece of support after your fathers abandonment, then it would be worth it being gone for one more month. Just for her, not for your dad.

“We settled here about seven years ago, just a handful of us then,” Maria tells Ellie and your dad. “That section…”

Her words trail off as suddenly you’re startled by an arm thrown around you. And when you snap your head over to your side, Apollo is next to you with a smile on his face.

“What’s wrong with you?” You quip as you fall behind the others doing the tour.

Apollo snickers. “Just checking you’re not some sort of hallucination.”

You roll your eyes and look ahead again. “I’d be a pretty cool hallucination,” you mumble and catch Ellie glancing at you over her shoulder when she doesn’t see you near her.

“Yeah,” Apollo agrees. “Good thing you aren't though.” He moves his other hand toward you to offer you a piece of dry meat. “Jerky?”

“Please,” you scoff and meet his gaze from the corner of your eyes. “I’ve had enough of jerky for now.” You then begin to smirk and hold his gaze as you throw him a reminder. “Aren't you supposed to be working bum?”

Apollo shrugs. “I was, but again, just checking on you, and…” he trails off and holds the piece of jerky in his mouth to reach into his back pocket and pull something out. “…give this to you.”

He pushes his hand towards you to show the Mariah Carey Daydream casette in his hand. “For you,” he says as he pulls out the piece of jerky from his mouth.

Your grin immediately widens and your eyes twinkle as you stop to take it from him. “Oh my god,” you squeal. “Where did you find this?!”

Apollo steps back and folds his arms over his chest to shrug smugly. “I have my ways. But I thought of giving it to you for Christmas when I saw you, but then I thought, why not give it to her now as a welcome home present.”

You meet his gaze with a smirk. “You were thinkin’ of me?” You tease.

“You’d like that wouldn’t you?” He quips lightheartedly.

You shoot him a smirk, and he holds your gaze to mirror the gesture for a lingering moment before you look down at your gift and smile softly. Albeit, you then can’t help but step forward to throw your arms around him.

“Thank you,” you whisper and hold onto him tighter, feeling your heart flutter, and a warmth that wants to mend the bleeding gap that was on it.

“You’re welcome,” he whispers back and rubs your back softly. “I missed you, you know.”

You smile sweetly and try to fight the tears that threaten to rush out at the simple feeling of this embrace. “I missed you too,” you redirect softly, but suddenly begin to feel a twinge of guilt now stab at you as you feel comfort and yearning for him in his embrace.

“Mia is at home,” Apollo says and pulls back to face you. “I haven’t told her yet so it can be a surprise.”

You smirk. “I’ll make her shit her pants.” You snicker.

“I’ll see you at home later, yeah?” He queries in a way that makes it seem like he’s almost afraid you would leave again. “I have a bottle of tequila and a movie of your choice ready for you for later.”

“Can’t wait,” you assure him with a sweet smile playing on your lips.

Apollo begins to walk back and nods as he holds your gaze for a lingering moment before he turns and walks off to go back to work. You now put your gift away and catch back up with your group heading to the barn.

“Who’s that?” Ellie immediately asks once you’re by her side again.

You glance at her and scoff softly before you answer. “My…best friend, Apollo.”

Ellie scoffs and begins to smirk as she turns her head away. “Okay,” she mutters.

You squint your eyes in confusion and immediately press her hint of smugness. “What?” You giggle nervously.

Ellie shrugs before she glances at you and bats her eyelashes as she just simply repeats herself. “Okay.”

Before you can further question her she runs ahead of the group as they’re entering the sheep pen.

“Hey, Joel, check it,” Ellie now directs to your dad, and proceeds to mimic the sheep to tease him. You would’ve laughed but she was just teasing you so you keep quiet and follow them.

“So are you, like, in charge?” Ellie asks Maria.

“No one person’s in charge,” Maria says. “I’m on the council. Democratically elected, serving 300 people, including children. Everyone pitches in. We rotate patrols, food prep, repairs, hunting, harvesting.”

“Everything you see in our town,” your uncle adds. “Greenhouses, livestock, all shared. Collective ownership.”

“So, uh,” your dad interjects, making you glance at him. “Communism.”

Your uncle sniffles. “Nah. Nah, it ain’t like that.”

No it is that. Exactly that.

“It is that,” Maria corrects him. “Literally. This is a commune. We’re communists.”

You smirk, and end up sharing an amused look with your dad before you both glance back at your uncle stopped behind you looking a bit baffled.

“No way!” Ellie exclaims, making you drift your attention back to her and noticing her rushing toward a cute brown foal.

“That’s our newest one,” Maria shares. “Couple months old. You wanna pet her?”

You smile and rush towards the foal too.

“Yeah, what’s her name?” Ellie asks.

“Shimmer.”

“Shimmer,” Ellie repeats as she begins to caress the little baby horse. “You’re so beautiful.”

You lean against the gate and scratch the side of her jaw.

“Well, I’m sure they’d like a shower,” Maria adds on, correctly of course. “Some new clothes. We can put Joel and Ellie in the empty house across the street from us.”

You pull your hand away from the horse and peer over your shoulder.

“Yeah,” your uncle agrees. “It’s a decent place. Pretty much untouched since ‘03, but it’s got the heat goin’ in it.” He nods. “Could do worse.”

“Oh,” you add. “We have been.”

Ellie nods in agreement, but your dad quickly rebuttals you. “We’ve been doin’ fine.”

Yeah cause sleeping in caves and taking watches to make sure you won’t get killed is fine. Whatever man.

“Well,” Maria adds a bit awkwardly. “I’ll take Ellie over there if you two wanna catch up?” She suggests as she looks between your dad and uncle, making you look between both men with curiosity.

Only if you could go too just to snoop and know if your dad would go through with it. And to know how it’d actually go between them.

“Yeah,” your dad agrees and passes a look with your uncle. “Okay.”

“Joel,” Ellie whispers with concern.

“You’ll be fine,” he assures her and walks off with your uncle without another word, making her watch him as he did so.

“Come on,” you encourage her and grab her shoulder to gently nudge her ahead towards Maria

Ellie begins to follow, but spares one more glance at your dads retreating figure. Once he’s no longer in view she immediately questions you. “Where are you going?”

“Not far from where you’ll be,” you assure her. “Just down 2 streets, and then a right. I live in a yellow house with a white fence around it. I’ll be there.”

Ellie glances at the ground and frowns deeper, so you nudge her gently and continue to assure her. “You can come over after you’re done showering, if you want. If I don’t answer the door my friend Mia will, just tell her you came to visit me and she’ll show you to my room, yeah?”

Ellie lifts her gaze with unsureness but nods regardless to assure you she comprehends. “Yeah,” she whispers. “Okay.”

Once you see Ellie off you walk to your own house. A place you always hoped you’d return to, a place you longed for on cruel days. Yet when you’re there, past the white fences gate, at the doorstep of your house, it feels…fucking weird. Like some dream. A good dream you were scared to wake up from.

What if opening the front meant waking up? That’d be terrible.

But you can’t know if you stand there, so you let out a deep breath and slowly wrap your hand around the knob. You hesitate for a second and close your eyes to hope it isn’t some dream—fuck. You open your eyes as you turn the knob and slowly push the green creaking door open. And luckily nothing vanishes, nothing comes at you. You walk in and you don’t fall into some dark abyss; it’s warm, it smells like cinnamon and a Christmas morning. All the furniture you can see is the same, Christmas decorations greet you at the entrance bringing the holiday cheer to the house.

When you close the front door behind you and you take your shoes off at the entrance, happy tears fill your eyes, and a wobbly smile spreads on your lips. You’re home! Home!

You laugh softly with relief and feel tears actually rush out of your eyes.

“Who’s home?” You hear a familiar voice ask from the hall.

You wipe the tears off your cheeks and walk towards the hall in a giddy silence as you also hear footsteps approach. Once you make it under the hall's archway you stop at the same time your friend does only mere inches away from her.

You begin to grin brightly, while she stands there with her eyes widened with disbelief.

“Hi, Mia,” you greet her.

Said girl studies you, the dirty outfit you’ve worn for months, she studies your face and looks into your eyes in that stunned silence that paralyzes her. Meanwhile you give her time to grasp your presence and study her too; her hair is still short due to her fear of having it pulled by infected like when she was young, it’s still dyed like last time, and she’s remained ageless.

“Wh-how?” She stammers before she closes the gap left between you with an embrace that almost knocks you back.

“Hey,” you murmur happily.

“Apollo was just here,” she says by your ear. “He didn’t tell me anything.”

You laugh softly. “Yeah, he wanted me to surprise you.” You pull back and grab her shoulders. “I've missed you.”

Tears roll down her cheeks, and her smile wobbles. “I missed you too,” she redirects. “So much. I was so worried.” She hugs you again and lets out a relieved sigh as she holds you in her arms.

Along with Apollo and Atlas, Mia was one of your oldest friends too. She was a firefly like them and you, she was also your best friend. You all basically grew up together when you were with the firefly’s, you were all unbreakable.

“Did you just get here?” Mia asks and pulls back to turn you around and lead you away from the hall. “Have you eaten already?”

You nod. “Yes, I ate just a few minutes ago, and yes I just got here….with my dad actually.”

Mia stops, making you stop along with her. “What?” She queries and turns to face you. She looks into your eyes to try and read your emotions, but she instead questions you more. “How are you feeling about that?”

You let out a deep sigh that makes your smile falter, and simply shrug. “I don’t know…besides angry, I don’t know where I’m at, but I guess we’ll see won’t we?”

Mia hums and caresses your shoulder, and smiles a lot softer. “I’m so happy you’re back home. You must want to take a shower, and sleep, so I’ll leave you be.”

Yeah until maybe an hour later where she’ll be checking on you.

“Your room has been untouched so everything is in its place,” she adds, and now walks you around the kitchen to walk you to your room like if you’re new and need a tour. “You’ll just need a towel which are out in the closet, you’ll need blankets, I can get those for you, uh, a razor, new sanitary stuff, I can go…” she continues on but you tune her out as you open the door to your room. And as she walks forward you stop just in front of the doorway.

“….We can bake something later,” you tune Mia back in. “We can make your favorite for dinner, Apollo and Atlas should be home then”

She was right, your room was untouched, every piece of furniture was in its place, every decoration and accessory was left the same way you left it. There wasn’t even dust, and didn’t smell odd, which is probably thanks to Mia; your room actually smells like flowers, oddly enough.

“Yeah,” you agree mindlessly with a nod. “Sounds good.”

Your picture wall was still up and well kept, your posters aren’t ripped, it’s all clean.

“Okay,” Mia says as she turns to walk out of the room. “I’ll leave you now and go get that stuff. Need anything else?”

You follow her leaving figure with your eyes and shake your head. “Nah, but if you are leaving mind leaving the front door unlocked, a girl named Ellie might come over so if you aren’t here and I’m in the shower she can just walk in.”

Mia looks immediately curious over who you mention but she doesn’t probe now, she’ll do it later, you’re sure of it. “Okay, I’ll leave a note then.” She lets you know and grabs your door handle to begin closing it as she walks out. “I missed you.”

You shoot her a sweet smile and quickly counter. “I missed you too.”

She offers you one last smile before she closes the door behind her, letting you turn back to fully take in the fact that you’re now standing back in your room—it’s fucking unbelievble, it fills you with happiness and comfort. And as if it’s your first time you walk to your closet first and pull it open, you run your fingers along all the clothes that are hung up and smile.

If you could describe your room to someone, let’s say Ellie, in a few words it would be Old Hollywood meets vintage old money aesthetic—albeit a post apocalyptic version considering you can’t fully fill your room with all the things you want and need….

Sucks…

Anyhow, you then skip on forward to your brown and gold vintage round vanity mirror, and the first thing you notice that wasn’t on it last time is a bouquet of fresh flowers with a small note.

‘Welcome home - Atlas & Apollo’

You smile and tuck the note back to its place to then swipe your fingers across the counter, making sure not to touch the few perfumes and fragile trinkets you had collected. You then proceed to walk to the corner of the room to brush your fingers along the strings of your guitar as you walk to your shelf with music records, cassettes and movies; it’s all still there and now you can add another to your collection, thanks to Apollo.

After that you then walk to your picture wall to study every single picture with a faint smile. The one that makes you the happiest though is the picture strip of Sarah and you; it’s one you had taken in one of those photobooths. Alas it’s when you see the family picture of Sarah, you, and your dad that the happiness turns to sadness, and that smile falls to a wobbly frown.

What would be of your lives now if she had lived? What would she say about your estrangement with your dad?

Would she be mad at the both of you?

Probably.

You were a little family, you were too young to know if it was anything other than perfect, but it worked…you were happy then….

God you miss her….him too. He’s close, here now in Jackson, but it feels like you're strangers. Strangers forced to be together, forced to travel together. You miss him and your relationship. The man he was wouldn't return, but you’re okay with the man he is now, as flawed as he is you’re okay with him, as tainted as his past is you’re okay with him. But, what you are…are strangers.

——

A deep relaxed exhale leaves your lips as you find comfort on your mattress, in your clean clothes, and refreshed body after a long and deep shower.

Fuck that felt good, it’s like you took decades of dirt off you. It’s like you feel fucking lighter because of it now too. Maybe a week-long sleep would suit you well, maybe you can even hibernate like a bear, that’d be nice.

You smile to yourself and only sit up to put on your headphones, and turn your music on blast now that you don’t have to worry about what’s around you—You’ll go deaf your uncle Tommy and Mia would say, but who cares, it’s fun getting lost in the music.

That’s what you do listening to the cassette Apollo gave you. However, not for long because you then feel a nudge on your leg, and when you sit up there Maria is with a very deep purple jacket in hand.

“Hey,” you greet her as you pull your headphones down to your neck. You then look around for Ellie, but she’s not here. “Where’s Ellie?”

“I left her at the house,” Maria says. “I went to grab her this.” She lifts the jacket in her hand, and you scoff in amusement.

“It’s very purple,” you point out.

“Plum,” she corrects you and sits by you on your bed. “I just came to check on you, make sure you were settling in well.”

You sigh with relief and nod. “Yeah, it feels good being back home and showering, and changing clothes.” You let out a deep exhale and fall back on your bed. “I missed it, never let me leave for that long ever again.”

“I tried that the first time, you fought against logic,” she argues.

You shrug to brush her off. “Let’s call it an existential crisis, yeah?” You snicker.

Maria lets out a long sigh that means nothing good, so you sit up and narrow your gaze on her.

“What?” You immediately question.

Maria glances down and doesn’t hold back. She never did. “How did you end up with the cause of that existential crisis?”

Oh yes, you should've known she wasn’t going to leave it alone.

You blow out air and begin to fiddle with the string of your headphones. “We ran into each other at…KC. We were coming to the same place so we decided to travel together.”

Maria scoffs. “Months on the road and nothing seems mended,” she says. “Did he even try?”

You swallow thickly and shake your head softly. “No, but,” you add and pick at the fluff on your sheets. “It’s not like I tried either…if it wasn’t for that girl I don’t think I would’ve stayed with him.”

There’s a moment of silence before she picks on that. “Who is she?”

No one can know Ellie’s immune, as much as you trust Maria, it’s now up to your dad and Ellie to tell who they want, not you.

“A girl, some important firefly’s daughter he was ordered to deliver,” you lie and look up at her so she wouldn’t find you suspicious. “That’s all I know. He isn’t much for sharin’.”

Maria hums and doesn’t seem to find you suspicious so she moves on. Thankfully.

“Look, you’re an adult, you know what’s right from wrong, but you have too much of a good heart….”

You blink and avert your gaze to sigh.

“I don’t want to see you tormenting yourself any longer because of that man y/n—”

“He’s my dad, mama,” you cut her off with no anger or judgment, you cut her off quietly, sadly. “I can’t….” You pause and draw in a deep breath as you feel the need to cry slowly building up. “I can’t just,” you sigh, “forget him. No matter how much he’s hurt me. I can’t do that to him…or her…she’d be devastated.”

Maria carefully grabs ahold of your hand, making you lift your eyes to meet her soft yet hard gaze.

“I just don’t want to see you hurt,” Maria adds softly.

You offer her a comprehensive nod.

“Your uncle Tommy and I are always here, we’re here for you no matter what,” she continues and this time begins to caress your cheek. “You don’t need him. If those plants are dead there’s no need to waste water.”

You stiffen and draw in another shaky breath. You don’t add anything in his defense, you can’t come up with anything else to say but what you already put out.

“Whatever happens to that girl,” she adds on in your silence. “You protect her from him—”

Now you have something to say. “He’s not a bad guy,” you cut her off and meet her gaze with a pointed glare. “He’s just…tough because of what he’s lived through. But he’s not a bad guy.” You understand that now.

Maria raises her chin and doesn’t retreat. “He left you, his own daughter, tell me if that makes him good?”

You blink rapidly as you’re cut off guard by her comment.

“I’m just looking out for you,” she further explains herself. “You’re my family, I love you as if you were my own daughter which is why I just want to protect you.” She pulls her hand away and stands up. “And that girl doesn’t deserve to have her heartbroken by him.”

Maria then waits if you’d say something, but there was nothing you could add anymore, so you let her leave.

“I’m taking Ellie to the movies, enjoy the night with your friends, okay? And at night if it’s hard to sleep, the door will be open, you can sleep in your old room.” She offers.

You break your eyes from the bed to look at her in front of you and nod slowly. “Yeah, okay. Thank you.”

“If you don’t come tonight then come over for breakfast tomorrow, I can make pancakes.”

“Okay sounds good I’ll be there.” You assure her and offer her a very faint smile.

Maria walks to the door and lingers there for a moment before she walks out and closes the door behind you, letting you then throw yourself back to contemplate what was just discussed. She’s right about Ellie, but maybe he deserves time to explain himself to you, even after you said you’d be done with him. He deserves one more chance, if he doesn’t want to try and heal what’s broken then…you’ll stay true to your word and be done with him, for good…

You sigh and slide your headphones back on before flipping around on the bed to attempt and get lost in the music again.

However, now! Now…agony and grief slams back into you just as you were doing good today not thinking about Henry and Sam. All because of the stuffed giraffe on your bed that reminds you of them.

It happens all the time, one minute you think that you’ll get over it, that you’ll heal past that grief and let them be beautiful memories, but it hits you like a ferocious wave. And it’s hard to swim up when it does, you’re slowly drowning each time, sinking deeper and deeper. Not only that but looking at your dad everyday doesn’t make it any easier, there’s just more force that pushes you further down.

Funny and unexpected enough though, it’s been Ellie who has been such a….relief, a breath of fresh air, that ounce of hope that helps you get over the surface. Without her honestly it would’ve been hard getting back home.

Still…as of now it’s taking you again, that damned wave, so you take your headphones off and leave your music on the bed to instead grab the stuffed giraffe and walk outside to your backyard.

The precious meadow that you had grown is under a blanket of snow, much like everything else outside, so you can’t find a bit of bliss there. However, there is something new outside connected to the small white fence that surrounds the cement patio, a wooden bench swing with a canopy and all, hm.

It’s smooth, sturdy, and nice. Now you don’t have to get your ass wet on the snow. Maybe your uncle Tommy built it? Or maybe Mia’s boyfriend built it for her, he thinks himself a carpenter.

Whatever the case, you sit down and just ponder in the silence, watching the stuffed giraffe in your hands and thinking about them; about Henry most of all. You let time pass even as you begin to get cold, and don’t really come back to reality until you hear the backdoor close behind you.

When you sit up and look back you see your uncle Tommy walking to you.

You put the stuffed giraffe down and then beam at him. “Hey!” You greet him.

He offers you a sweet smile and pushes the gate open to walk over to you. “Hey, Sunny,” he greets back. “I’m sorry I let myself in, there was a note on the door.”

You shake your head and pat the open space by you. “Don’t worry about it,” you assure him and watch him study the bench with a smirk.

“Apollo built this for you, did you know?”

You blink in surprise and shake your head as your heart begins to flutter. “No, I didn’t.”

He hums and takes his seat, but rubs the armrests. “Yeah, he said that it’d be a good touch so you wouldn’t have to lay on the grass all the time. Or if you didn’t make it back home then it’d be hell of a memorial...it wasn’t really funny then,” he laughs softly. “But it is now.” He clasps his hands on his lap and glances at the stuffed giraffe before meeting your gaze. “He’s always had a sweet spot for you. He’s a good guy.”

You slowly grin and drop your head to nod. “I know.”

Is he implying something?

“Did you talk to my dad?” You probe and glance up at him. “You guys catch up?”

Your uncle lets out a deep sigh and nods stiffly. “Something like that. We…sorta got into an argument.”

You click your tongue and nod slowly in comprehension. “Sorta?” You probe.

“It wasn’t big but you know how he is.”

You nod. “Yeah,” you sigh.

Your uncle notices the frown and the sadness return in your eyes, so he presses you. “You, have you talked to him?”

You look on ahead at the snow covered meadow and shrug. “Sorta. We talked when we first reunited in KC, but after….after I just got mad at him all over again. I haven’t talked to him since.”

“Is that what has you all down?” He asks and hits you right where it hurts. He knows you too well.

Your eyes sting and your throat begins to feel all clumped up with all the emotions that rapidly build up, but you hold it back as best as you can and try to assure him. And yourself. “I..I don’t want to ruin today.” You offer him a strained smile. “We can talk about it some other day.”

Your uncle shifts in his seat to face you better and doesn’t brush it off. “I cleared up my whole day today for your dad, and for you. I have time to talk. Talk to me.”

He was never one to shy away from an emotional conversation, not with you anyway. Not like your dad. Your uncle Tommy was good that way, open and understanding. Not closed off and dismissive. You owe who you became through all the tragedy to him. It’s sad to admit but if you had been completely raised by your father you would have turned out like him perhaps.

Yet it’s quite hard saying what comes to mind. You part your lips to try and speak, but all you can muster is a shaky breath as you clutch onto the stuffed giraffe.

Your uncle doesn’t press you, he waits until you can finally mutter out.

“Can you tell me…” you pause briefly and glance down at your hands. “If somethings wrong….with me?” You ask in a quivering voice and slowly look up at him, catching his confusion and disbelief.

“My dad left rather than staying with me….and,” you continue through tears. “…the guy that I…loved killed himself rather than wanting to be with me. And I know it sounds selfish, h-he was just grief stricken, his little brother died….but we were partners…and,” you sniffle. “And he left me. So please be honest with me, tell me that I’m no good, that I’m a failure because that’s what I feel.”

Your uncle Tommy lets out a shaky sigh and immediately grabs your face to wipe away your tears and comfort you. “There is nothing wrong with you, baby, nothing. That guy…seems like he couldn’t handle what he felt, it happens, but you had nothing to do with it. And your dad,” he exhales and caresses your cheek. “Your dad did what he thought was best because he loves you. Losing your sister took a lot from him, but that doesn’t mean that somethings wrong with you, he loves you, and leaving was his way of showing it.” He says try and comfort you, and then pulls you in for an embrace, but you only sob more in the comfort of his arms.

You can hardly breathe, your chest feels heavy, your mind is racing, and your heart feels like it was going to jump out of you. Now you couldn’t hold anything back.

“I couldn't help him, he got bit and I couldn’t help. I couldn’t save Henry either, I should’ve just snatched the gun from him but I froze, and I couldn’t help him…just like I couldn’t help Sarah…” you spill out now through sobs.

Your uncle pulls back and grabs your shoulders to keep you close so you’d listen to what he had to redirect. “Sarah was not your fault, you understand that? There was nothing none of us could have done, especially not you, you were only 4. You understand?”

You keep your eyes averted and nod. But that isn’t enough for him.

“Look at me y/n,” he orders, causing you to slowly raise your eyes. “It wasn’t your fault. And I know I don’t know those people you knew, but one thing I am sure about is that it isn’t your fault what happened to them.” He wipes more tears off your cheeks and leans in closer so you’d listen intently. “You cry as much as you want, grieve as long as you need to, but you move on, you keep living for them. You understand? Don’t lose yourself, that’s the worst thing we can do. You understand me?”

You nod through heavy tears and get pulled into a tighter embrace that you sink into, that you bask in for a moment without saying anything. All until your heart slows down, and your head isn't filled with so much noise.

“Thank you uncle Tommy, thank you for listening,” you whisper and pull back to face him with a gentle smile. “I missed you.”

He offers you a sweet smile and wipes away more stray tears. “I missed you too, Sunny.”

You sit back and watch the delicate snowflakes begin to fall from the sky. You sit in silence next to your uncle with a much lighter feeling on your chest.

“I have to tell you something,” your uncle breaks the silence with an obvious nervous voice.

You blink and look at him with a teasing smile and a curious gaze. “What? Oh my, don't tell me…are you pregnant?”

Your uncle meets your gaze and doesn’t laugh even if you said it as a joke, he instead lets out a deep breath and just holds your gaze with the same nervous look that clues you in that you might have guessed right.

“Are you?” You ask seriously now and lean in.

He averts his gaze and nods, making you slowly begin to grin with utter fucking joy. “That’s amazing news, uncle Tommy!” You exclaim and jump off your seat out of excitement. “That’s like, the best news ever.”

Yet you couldn’t help but begin to feel just a bit envious. You were happy, excited, of course you were, but you couldn’t help but feel a smidge of envy. You never thought of that before, you never yearned for that, a family of your own; you were younger, hurt by your own issues with your dad, there was too much going on in your head to even think about that, you wouldn’t have made a good wife nor a good mother. But now after returning from your country wide trip, now after hearing that your uncle's family is growing, there’s this want growing in your own heart. There doesn’t even need to be a baby, but a partner would be nice.

“Why the long face?” You press as he doesn’t seem to match your excitement.

Your uncle sighs. “I'm just nervous, that's all. I’m very fuckin’ nervous, you know it’s going to be a whole human being. I just don’t know…” he trails off.

You giggle and sit back down next to him. “You have nothing to be nervous about, you’re gonna be a good father,” you assure him. “You might not be mine, but you were—are like one, and you did good.”

Your uncle meets your gaze with a soft look and a soft smile. “Thank you, Sunny,” he says.

You grin brighter at him and can’t help but get even more excited. “I’m finally gonna have a cousin, man. I mean I would have appreciated one like 20 years ago, 22 years ago, but I can teach them things now. I’m wiser now.”

He chuckles and then corrects you. “Sister,”

You snap your eyes to him and stiffen.

“You might not be mine, but you are like my daughter.” He says with a smile. “Mine and Maria’s.”

Your eyes water again, but you hold back your tears now and just laugh softly. “Can I hug you now, or do you want to celebrate with a shot?” You add.

“One wouldn’t hurt, but I’ll take that hug too,” he says and lets you throw your arms around him for a tight embrace.

“Thank you for telling me, I needed to hear some good news.”

He smiles and caresses your back. “I’m glad. I’m happy it made you smile.”

You giggle and pull back to shoot him another beaming smile.

He smiles now too and interjects. “Thank you, I needed that too. Made me feel better.”

You lay down on his lap and can’t stop smiling over the news. He sits back and lets his arm rest on you to enjoy each others presence and relish in the joy he brought.

“Don’t push me in the snow,” you warn him as he begins to make the swing sway back and forth. “I just took a shower.”

He scoffs. “Don’t give me ideas, ‘cause I’ll do it. Unless you’re gonna go snitch to your daddy now that he’s here.”

You giggle. “Don’t give me ideas.”

He slowly slides his hand to your back and applies a small amount of pressure, making you stiffen and hang onto the bottom of the seat. “Don’t,” you warn him.

“I ain’t doing nothin’.” He chuckles.

You turn and look at him with a pointed glare, but all he does is smirk mischievously. He then moves his arm back where it was so you turn back to face ahead.

Yet that’s when he gets you and pushes you off the seat, making you fall in the snow.

“Oops,” you hear him say.

You slap your hands on the cold ground, and slowly sit up on your knees to wipe the snow off your face roughly as you turn your head to glare at him.

“Go on,” he says with a stifled laugh. “Bring out your guitar so we can tune it up. Let’s make sure you haven’t forgotten that talent of yours.”

“Fine,” you grumble and stand up to brush the snow off your body. “I’ll get the bottle too.”

You’re only not getting him back because you just got back and because he shared that news with you. You’ll get him back though. Old fucker.

——

*LATER*

The tv played one of your favorite movies, but it played for no one since you and your friends gathered around the living room and got lost gossiping, drinking and playing some card game Atlas insisted on playing to make drinking “more fun”. That cinnamon scent that basked the room was pushed away by the smell of food Mia had made and the alcohol in your cups.

“That’s total bull,” you complain to Atlas about the number of infected he’s killed.

He scoffs. “You can’t say that, you weren’t here.”

You pull away from Mia’s arms wrapped around your neck to lean closer to Atlas. “That number is too high. I don’t believe you.”

Atlas shrugs. “Don’t believe me then, but I did kill that many.”

You roll your eyes and meet Apollo’s gaze to press him for the truth. He however shrugs and just shares a small smirk with you.

“I’ll let you off the hook and tell you how many I killed if you say the truth,” you suggest.

“No,” Atlas blurts and pushes you back to Mia with his foot, making you scrunch your nose in disgust. “You were out in the world, your number doesn’t count.”

“Sure,” you snicker. “You old vanity. You just don’t want me to beat you. You can’t take it. You’re too fragile.”

“Whatever,” he grumbles. “Can we just continue with the damn game before someone here talks about herself.”

You smirk. “I am a very interesting person. Just ask your dad.”

Atlas narrows his gaze and scoffs, whilst you and Mia high five.

“Okay, really did any of us get the number right?” Mia’s boyfriend asks to keep the game going.

You look between them all and shake your head. “Nope, you all drink.”

They all groan and Atlas is the one that mumbles of course. “That’s impossible.”

You watch them all take their shots with a playful smirk, but once you land on Apollo, your eyes linger and your smile softens. However, you then catch him shifting his gaze your way so you quickly look away and just feel his stare.

There’s something different about him now compared to before, the look in his eyes, his face maybe. He was never immature as his little brother is still til this day, but Apollo is far more mature than before. More handsome maybe—well he always was you just never gave it too much thought, you were far too troubled for that. And he was—is your best friend….

Damn….there’s that guilt stabbing at you again.

“Okay!” Atlas exclaims and sits up. “My turn, let’s change this game to the Apollo game.”

Mia groans. “Atlas that game is stupid. We know everything about each other—”

“Y/N’s been gone,” Atlas cuts her off. “So, let’s go on. Remember we make a statement about her and if it’s true she drinks, and you are then you drink, okay? Okay! Come on now SunnyD get up.”

You roll your eyes and sit up to drag yourself between Apollo and Mia.

“Okay,” he keeps yelling and does a drum roll on the ground. “You’ve been in love.”

Fuck.

You swallow thickly and get ready to answer, but a knock then raps on the door at that precise moment. Much to your excitement actually.

“Oh!” You jump up. “I’ll get it, you know how much I’ve missed actually answering a door without fearing for my life.” You run over to answer the door, and Achilles gets out of the couch to follow you to the door.

And much to your surprise once you open it you see your dad outside.

“Daddy,” you mutter in disbelief. “Hey.” You sligtly furrow your brows in confusion due to his very much vivid presence.

Your dad averts his gaze to stare at the ground and swallows thickly before stating his reason for this late visit. “Can we talk?” He asks.

Your heart skips a beat, and you grow speechless for a second. “Uh….sure, come in.”

He looks up at you and shakes his head. “No,” he says and glances past your shoulder to steal a glance at all your friends sitting in the living room listening in. “Can we take a walk?”

Must be important if he bothered to come all this way. “Okay,” you whisper and open the door wider. “Come in, I need to grab my jacket and my shoes.” You step aside and he shuffles inside awkwardly, causing the curious dog to sniff him before he runs back to Apollo.

“Uh,” you interject and walk to the end of the hall. “Now that you’re here, meet my friends from when my uncle Tommy and I were fireflies.” You point to Mia first. “That’s my friend Mia. And that next to her is Arthur, her boyfriend. Over there,” you point to the dark haired boy. “Is Atlas, and,” you shift your eyes to Apollo and smile softly. “That’s Apollo. Guys,” you breathe out. “This is my dad, Joel.”

Mia offers him a very faint half smile and simply waves, and her boyfriend does the same, whilst Atlas smirks and throws up a peace sign and a very quick greeting. “‘Sup.”

Gosh.

“Hi,” Apollo greets more properly, but stays sitting down. “It’s very nice meeting you Mr. Miller.”

You glance at your dad and see him just offer them a stiff wave and a dry greeting. “Hello there.”

Better nothing, and better than a gun to their heads.

“Okay,” you breathe out awkwardly. “I’m going to get my stuff.” You offer your friends a quick smile before you run off to your room to get what you need, whilst your mind races and spins with all the different outcomes to what could be said.

He doesn’t seem mad. Maybe it’s about his heart.

Or about choosing…no, it can’t be that. Positive thoughts only.

You let out a deep exhale before leaving your room to join your dad back at the entrance. “Okay,” you encourage him and throw a quick wave at your friends. “I’ll see you guys.” You open the door and walk out to the snowy night with your dad at your heels.

You expect to see Ellie waiting outside, but she’s not here, it’s only him.

“Where’s Ellie?” You ask as he now walks by your side when you exit your yard and now get on the street.

“Uh, she’s at the house,” he answers. “I just…wanted to talk to you. Alone.”

You shoot him a nervous glance and let out a small exhale. “Okay,” you whisper and grow even more nervous. “What’s wrong?”

You catch your dad scratching the back of his head and averting your gaze at all costs. “Just…just give me some time…I’m not that good at this.”

This doesn’t help whatsoever.

“Alright,” you whisper and glance at the falling snow as you take a turn to exit the street you lived on.

“I just,” he interjects and fists his hands. “I just need you to hear me, that's all I want, you don’t need to say anything, you don’t owe me nothin’. I just need you to hear what I have to tell you. Okay?”

You blink rapidly and nod. “Okay,” you whisper.

But he ends up taking another long moment to himself to think of the reason why he brought you out in the cold so late at night. You even pass your uncle's house, his own house that he was given to stay at. You pass lit streets, and only fill the silence with the crunches of your feet against the snow. You make it to the center of town where the large glowing Christmas tree brings cheer to the town.

“I,” he breaks his silence. “I’m sorry.”

You gasp softly and stop in your tracks as his words…words you never thought you’d hear, words he hasn’t spoken in a long time register in your mind.

“I’m supposed to be the one protecting you,” he continues and stops to turn around to face you. “I was the one who was supposed to teach you how to be the person you are now, I was the one who…needed to watch you grow up, but I…I let you down. I left,” his voice breaks. “I left you even if I knew your mother, even if I knew….Sarah would be mad. I left you, I hurt you…” his breath shudders and you can’t hold back your own tears now, no matter how much you wanted to fight them away.

“And I’m so ashamed of it,” he adds as…tears roll down his cheeks. “I am. But I don’t regret it,” he reveals and meets your watery gaze. “Because if I didn’t leave, you wouldn’t be who you are now, a strong, independent woman. You would only be angry like me, you’d be vain, and a monster.”

You shake your head against his words, but don’t say anything, you keep listening to him.

“I just wish I would have done things differently,” he mutters with more tears steaming down his face, tears that shock you to your core, leave you speechless and heartbroken.

“I’m sorry,” he says again in a tearful voice. “I am. There will never not be a day where I don’t regret how I hurt you.” He shakes his head and steps towards you. “And you have every right to keep on hatin’ me, to move on and not deal with me. I don’t blame you, I wouldn't. I just needed you to hear what I owe you.”

You let out a shaky breath and look up to watch the snowflakes dance down from the sky, littering the ground with their white icy texture, and making the ground twinkle against the street lights yellow hue, against the beautiful colors that wrap the grand green tree a few feet away from you. You watch the sky to take in all his words, to gather your own thoughts.

“I…” you murmur against the winter wind that blows past you. “I don’t understand,” you cry and look down at him, but his face blurs because of your tears, and the twinkling lights cloud him and your vision. “Why….why me? I….” you shake your head. “I love too easily…I don’t like to see the reality of things because it makes me sad, I dream too big and too much, I…I’m too boastful,” you sob.

“I’m not strong, I’ve never been. I’ve tried to change for you, I’ve tried to be a better daughter, one—one who you’d be proud of, but I can't, and you can’t ignore it…you can’t,” you shake your head with your quivering lip and step back away from him. “I’m not enough. I'm not perfect like Sarah was, I’m not…important like Ellie, I’m nothing,” you whisper. “You deserve better. You do.”

Your dad lets out a shaky breath and nods as more tears escape past his eyes. “It’s true,” he admits. “You might be a bit boastful, you might see the beauty of the world and hold onto too much hope, your dreams might be too big, but,” he quivers and takes a step towards you. “That is why I love you. I love every bit of it. I have loved it since the moment I held you in my arms for the first time. You…you are everything to me, baby, you are the reason I keep livin’, you are my entire world, and the beauty that this world lost. You are what makes all this worth it, you are everything to me.”

You scoff softly at his words and let out a shaky sob as you find them beautiful yet unbelievable.

“I’m sorry,” he says again and gets close enough so he can cup your cheeks. “I can’t do this without you. I can’t lose you too.”

You grab his hands, you hold onto them as you hold his teary gaze for a moment, before you throw your arms around him.

He’s caught off guard for a few seconds, but he then hugs you back and presses you against his chest and rests his head on yours.

You don’t have the luxury of time, neither of you, and you know you’d only hate yourself if something happened to him and you couldn’t say what you feel.

“I forgive you,” you assure him and hold onto him tighter. “I do. I forgive you.”

He lets out a relieved sigh and clutches onto you as his tears soak your head.

“Will you forgive me?” You ask, and he quickly pulls back to hold your face in his hands and look at you with confusion. “For not trying either. I should’ve tried too. And for that I’m sorry.”

Your dad quickly shakes his head and wipes away your tears. “You have nothin’ to apologize for, okay? Nothing.”

You sniffle and smile softly. “Still, I'm sorry, just take it, okay?”

He scoffs in protest, but nods regardless before he pulls you in for another tight and loving embrace, letting you find comfort in his warmth that wraps around you, and by the sound of his beating heart that eases as you hold him close to you.

“I love you,” he says by your ear. “So so much.”

You laugh softly and nod. “I love you too. I do.”

He gives you one last squeeze before you both pull away from each other and face the Christmas tree in a peaceful silence, hand in hand. You linger there until you remember what you have for him.

“Can I give you an early Christmas present?” You ask rhetorically.

But he still answers. “I don’t have anything for you, and well you shouldn’t.”

You scoff and turn to pull him back to your house.

“Look,” he interjects. “One more thing, about Henry….”

You blink and feel your smile falter.

“I’m sorry,” he says. “I’m sorry I couldn’t do more.”

You swallow thickly and shake your head. “There was nothing you could do. Nothing any of us could do…” it’s sad to admit now, it tears your heart apart, but it’s true.

“But,” your dad continues. “You’ll be okay?”

You glance over at him and hesitate a moment before you nod softly. “I will. With time. The best thing we can do…is move on.” You know that now after the talk with him, he lifted that weight off you, and helped you from drowning under the depths of the suffocating waters. “As hard as it is, as impossible as it may seem now, we have to live for them, because we don't have the luxury of time….so that’s the best thing we can do, right?”

Your dad lets his eyes linger on you for a moment before he smiles softly. “I would’ve never thought of that…it’s sweet.”

You smile softly and hum, leaving the rest of your walk to your house silent. Once you do reach your house, your friends are still out, but calmer. “Excuse me,�� your dad directs at them as you make him follow you to your room.

“Now I didn’t have time to wrap it, but it’s the thought that counts,” you tell him and turn the light on in your room. And luckily the gift is easy to find on your vanity.

“This room is…very you,” your dad comments as you hear him walk over to the corner of your room where your guitar is. “You play better now?”

You scoff and snatch the disc from your vanity to turn and face him. “Yes,” you admit. “I mean I'm not as good as you, but I’m better than I was before.” You grin and then close the gap between each other to hand him his favorite movie, Curtis and Viper 2.

“I never payed much mind to it before, but I watched it for the first time a couple years back, and it’s not bad,” you share. “That is the movie though, right? All I could remember were the funny men from the cover.”

Your dad looks down at the disc in his hands and immediately smiles. “You’re right,” he assures you, letting you let out a relieved sigh. All this time you thought you’ve been wrong—“It’s a great movie,” he adds. “Where you find it?”

You smirk. “I found it in the tunnels at KC. I just never got the chance to give it to you. You like it?”

He meets your gaze and nods. “I love it, baby. Thank you.”

You smile sweetly and clap softly out of joy. He notices your smile and his smile softens.

“It’s not that late yet,” you add, “even if it looks so. My tv works….I can pop it in. If you want.” You suggest.

Your dad doesn’t hesitate—he can’t turn you down, so he nods. “Go on, pop it in.”

You squeal softly and take the movie from him to now head to your small tv. “You can lay on the bed, just take your shoes off.”

He hums, and as you’re putting on the movie you hear your bed sink and shoes thump on the ground. And as overjoyed as you are, someone comes to mind and brings your mood down slightly. Yet you don’t bring her up until you’re laying down next to him watching the previews play with your head on his chest, finding comfort by the sound of his heartbeat and his arm around you.

“About Ellie,” you bring up without shame, hoping he’d be honest. “What are you goin’ to do?”

Your dad lets out a deep sigh and you feel him swallow thickly. “I’m not the man I used to be,” he admits quietly as he caresses the side of your head. “I’m old now. You know that, I’m…not strong enough no more, but…trust me when I say I'm going to do my best by her.”

He’s right about being old, but is he right about letting her leave?

You can’t let her leave with just your uncle Tommy. You know that heartbreak too well, and you know your dad has the best intentions, you wouldn't have seen that yourself before, but hopefully she’ll see it with time. If that’s what he wants. You can’t force him to do anything.

“Alright,” you trust him. “But whatever happens, I’m going with her, I’m seeing her off. For her and for what she can mean to the firefly’s and humanity,” you say softly. “I owe it to Sam, to everyone else that I’ve lost to that infection.”

Your dad lets out a deep breath. “That’s fine,” he says. “That’s good. Your Uncle Tommy plans to take her tomorrow morning. It’s a week's ride.”

You just got home, but fuck it. One more trip and that’s it.

“What about you?” You probe. “What will you do?”

He stays quiet for a moment and watches the movie finally start. “I don’t know.” He breaks his silence.

You sigh softly. “That’s fine,” you assure him. “Just…do what’s best by her, and you. Okay? Promise?”

“I do,” he whispers. “I promise.”

You smile softly. “Good,” you whisper.

——

*THE NEXT MORNING*

Flashlight?

Check.

Extra clothes?

Check.

Books to read?

Check.

Multiple pairs of fingerless gloves that keeps your hands warm but helps with other purposes?

Check.

New cassettes to listen to?

Check.

Every other little thing that goes in the backpack?

Uh….check!

Weapons?

Need to check those out, but it’s all here. Good. You get off the edge of your bed and once you’re at the door you make sure to be quiet since it’s still pretty early and neither person living here gets up just yet.

However, as you quietly step out of your room you almost run into Mia waiting outside of your door with her arms over her chest, and her dark eyes piercing your very soul—she’s pissed. She knows.

“Mornin’,” you greet her with a small smile.

Mia doesn't return it, or return that same energy. She remains pissed.

“Don’t,” she cuts you off. “Don’t smile at me like everything’s okay.”

She might be shy and gentle, but she’s no one to mess with when she’s upset. Like now.

“You’re leaving again.” She knows. How?

You lose your smile and let out a deep sigh. “Yes,” you admit. “I am but not for long. Maybe just a month this time, or even less. I just need to see someone off.”

Mia shakes her head and her brows furrow deeper. “Can’t someone else do that? You just got home from a 2 year trip. A trip you probably barely survived…”

“Mia,” you interject to try and comfort her concern, but she continues and drops her arms to her sides to take an angry step towards you.

“No. No! We waited, I waited for you for 2 years, everyday I prayed that you wouldn’t meet the same fate everyone else did; my mom, my brother. I waited and now you’re leaving again.”

You swallow thickly and quietly mention who you’re going with this time in hopes that would help. “I’m going with my uncle Tommy. I’ll be back, I came back this time. I promise.”

“No, that’s no excuse—”

“And you can’t make me stay,” you cut her off this time. “I appreciate your concern, I do, but I have to see this girl off, I have to make this worth something…I lost people Mia, a guy I loved, and his brother who I adored…he got bit….” You pause and swallow back thickly. “If taking her might be worth something I have to do it for them.”

Mia seems puzzled by what you said since she doesn’t see the bigger picture, but she doesn’t argue now.

“I’ll come back,” you assure and take another step toward her to take her hands in yours. “I promise. I won’t leave after that. I’ll stay home. Just one more trip.”

Mia drops her gaze and hesitates before she nods softly and whispers, “okay. One more.” She then pulls her hands away to wrap you in an embrace. “Come back, okay?”

You return her embrace and nod. “I will,” you assure her. “I swear.” You give her one gentle squeeze before you pull away to offer her one last smile before you continue your way outside.

Yet, of course, as you walk past your yard, there, against the fence is Apollo with a backpack, and Achilles waiting next to him. How the hell did they know you’re leaving?

Did they overhear?

“Apollo?” You question and come to another stop.

Achilles runs to you and rubs his body against you before sitting by your side now, while Apollo turns to face you as he drops his folded arms down to his sides.

“I can get the horses, you check out the weapons.” He peels away from his spot and steps off the sidewalk, whilst you just look at him in disbelief.

“Hold up, where are you going?” You interrupt him.

Apollo stops in his tracks and just peers back. “I’m going with you and Tommy.” He mentions it casually.

You blink in disbelief and let out a breathless laugh. “What?” You shake your head. “Why?”

Apollo turns around completely and looks almost surprised you’d ask such a question. “I accidentally overheard you and your dad talking on my way to bed last night—”

Sure. Accidental.

“I'm not sitting on my ass here while you’re off risking your life and having all the fun—“

You scoff softly.

“Besides,” he adds in a softer voice. “I don’t want to wait for you to come back home again. I’ll go with you this time.”

You breath traps in your throat out of disbelief over his words, and a soft smile begins to appear on your features. “That’s nice,” you tell him. “Very…but…I can’t be who you want…not yet at least. I lost someone, someone I loved, someone I fell in love with. It’s still a fresh wound, ” you scoff as your eyes begin to sting. “I can’t be who you want, or what you want.”

Rather than being hurt, or upset by your words Apollo smiles. “I loved someone too. I was in love with her too. It hurts too. But,” he adds in a soft voice as he takes a step towards you. “I’m not asking you to be my first love, nor do I want to be yours….we can be each other's last, whenever you’re ready, I’ll wait.”

Tears fall past your eyes and you can only whisper. “Okay.”

He grins, but you step back again. “But I can’t make you come with us. I don’t want you to. Your brother is here, your dad,” you insist. “They need you alive.”

“I can die here too,” he interjects. “It doesn’t matter, y/n, I would go to the edge of earth with you. I would’ve had you asked me before.”

Your heart skips a beat, and you can’t help your smile. But as nice as his words are to hear, the answer remains the same. “What if I want you to wait for me here?” You say and now get closer to him. “So you can greet me when I get home. So I can have something to look forward to. A light in the dark.”

“That,” he chuckles softly. “Is the cheesiest thing ever.”

You laugh and nod in agreement, stopping now as you’re only inches away. “Yeah, but will you?” You querie.

He holds your gaze and offers you a soft assuring smile. “I already did, what’s another month or so?”

Your grin widens and you immediately throws your arms around him. He immediately returns the embrace and nuzzles his head on your shoulder.

“Be careful, okay?” He adds.

“I will,” you assure him and linger in his embrace for a moment longer. “You take care too, promise?”

“I promise.”

You smile and pull away to cup his cheek, he offers you a soft smile before he raises his hands to unwrap his scarf around his neck to instead carefully wrap it around yours.

“There, nice and toasty.” He murmurs.

You giggle and hold his gaze for another moment before you pull away before you couldn’t bring yourself to leave, and turn to walk to your uncle Tommy’s house now. You want to look back, but you don’t, you can’t, it’d only make you feel bad for leaving, so you just feel his stare and walk away. You can’t even give it too much or else you’ll feel bad too, you just clear your mind and walk.

Once you make it to the street where your uncle lives you catch him walking out of his own house. He spots you right away, and is rightfully surprised by your presence.

“What are ya doin’?” He asks once you meet halfway in the middle of the street.

You shrug. “Makin’ Maria even more mad.” You glance at his house and nod slowly. “Goin’ with Ellie, and you. Leaving, one more time. And don’t you dare fight me, I’ll fight back.”

Your uncles lips pull into a soft smile and he scoffs as he nods. “Okay then,” he doesn’t question you further, he respects your choice without a fight.

You glance at his house again and sigh. “No pancakes in there, is there?” You ask with a bit of hope.

He shakes his head. “Nope.”

“Well It’s a good thing I ate beforehand then.” You turn and begin to walk to the house Ellie and your dad were staying at. “Wanna go fetch her?”

He nods. “Yep.”

As he goes inside you wait outside and think about your dad now. He said he was going to do right by her, you trust him, but is he really not going to see her off at the gate or even just outside the house? You said your goodbyes last night just in case, but what about her?

“Y/N?” You hear Ellie’s voice as the front door closes behind her.

You lift your head, and offer her a sweet smile and a small wave. “Hey.”

She stops by you and studies you for a moment in this soft shocked reaction before she probes. “Are you coming?”

You nod and begin to follow after your uncle as he leads the way. “Yep. I’ve been gone from home for two years, what’s another month or so?” You tell her. “Besides, I don’t want to miss another hell of an adventure.” You smirk at her, and she offers you a soft smile. “Is that okay?” You make sure regardless of the relief you read on her face.

“Yeah,” Ellie says without hesitation. “Yeah.”

You offer one more smile before you skip ahead to walk at your uncles side. “Stables and then can we get my rifle and pistol? I’ve felt like I’ve been missin’ something all day. It’s weird.”

He peers back and then glances at you to nod. “Of course. How did it go with your friends? Have fun?”

You nod and begin to get ahead a bit. “Yeah. We had fun, we ate some food, we drank, watched Pulp Fiction—which,” you say and look back at Ellie, “we need to watch by the way, when we get back. Sorry, have you watched it?”

Ellie shakes her head. “I never have, no.”

You smirk. “Great movie. You’ll like it, I’m sure of it.”

“Is it romantic? I prefer more action and scary movies.” She says.

You scoff and shake your head. “Nah, it’s not romantic. You’ll like it, trust me.”

“You make a play based off that too?” Ellie comments, making your uncle chuckle.

You shoot her smirking face a narrowed glare. “No,” you deadpan. “I didn't. I couldn’t bring myself to do that to that movie.”

“No but seriously,” your uncle interjects. “Once we come back you need to tell her to make a play, they’re all surprisingly good.”

“Of course they are,” you quip. “And! What is that supposed to mean?”

He smirks. “Just surprisin’ that’s all. Don’t know where you get that talent from.”

You hum and shoot him a pointed glare, and leave at that as you see the stables coming up ahead.

“I get my own horse right?” You ask and run up ahead.

“You’re sharin!” Your uncle exclaims.

“Beats walkin’!” You comment and slow down as you enter the pen. And rather than waiting for them to catch up you walk in the stables to start getting the horse ready.

Albeit, just as you walk in you stop right away as you catch your dad saddling a horse. You know what it means; he changed his mind about staying. So instead of diving into questions you just smile at him as you meet his gaze, and look back as your uncle and Ellie walk in.

“You come here to say goodbye or something?” Ellie asks in an upset tone.

“No,” your dad says. “I came here to steal one of these horses and go.”

He could’ve just asked.

“Well,” your uncle interjects. “I woulda gave you one.”

Your dad pats the horse's neck and looks at his brother. “I know,” he says. “Anyway.” He glances at Ellie. “That was 30 minutes ago, and I guess…” he pauses and walks to Ellie to continue. “You deserve a choice. I still think you’d be better off with Tommy—”

He gets cut off suddenly as Ellie shoves a blue bag of supplies so he can hold, and retorts. “Let’s go.”

Your dad glances at you before looking back at Ellie and adding, “okay.”

Silence follows so you move past them to saddle your own horse since three don’t fit on one. Your uncle helps so the progress moves on faster, but as he does you come to the realization that now he won’t be coming. The only reason he was going was because your dad wasn’t, but now that he changed his mind your uncle stays.

“I’ll make it back before the baby is born,” you break your silence.

Your uncle looks over at you and shoots you a smile. “You better.”

“I’ll make it back before my birthday too,” you add with a playful smirk. “So you better start plannin’, you’ve been let off the hook for 2 years now.”

“You come back and I’ll throw you the biggest party you’ve had,” he feeds to your demand.

You smile softly as you feel sadness in your heart knowing you have to leave him again. “I’ll hold you to it.”

“Wouldn’t expect it any other way.”

You giggle and finish up saddling up your horse to then meet up with Ellie and your dad outside the stable.

“General direction?” Your dad asks your uncle, but he looks to you instead.

“She knows it, she can lead the way.” Your uncle points out. “You remember the school, right Sunny?”

You nod as you caress your black horse's neck. “Yeah. I remember.”

Your dad nods in comprehension, and once he looks back at his brother in front of him they quickly move in and embrace each other. It’s short but sweet, and makes you smile with joy to see that they’re doing okay.

It’s not like it was before, but the love is there.

“There’s a place for you here,” your uncle tells your dad once they’re apart. “For Ellie and you.”

“Countin’ on it,” your dad says, letting your uncle now look at you again.

“You come back now, understand?”

You shoot him a smirk. “Have to. Can’t miss my own party.”

He smiles and lets his eyes linger on you to take in the sight of you one more time.

“Can I borrow that?” Your dad interjects.

Your uncle breaks his gaze away from you to glance at his rifle before meeting your dads gaze. “Yeah.” He accepts and then slides the gun off his shoulder.

“‘Cause Maria took mine, you know?” Your dad says.

“I already said yes, Joel,” he retorts as he hands your dad the gun. “Adios, big brother.”

Your dad offers him a nod before finally moving out. And once you collect your own rifle, pistol, and other supplies you may need, you climb on your horse and head on out. One more time.

But, this time with not such a heavy heart, or a tormented mind.

——

*LATER*

The sound of the gunshot rang against the secluded grass field, and the sound of the bullet breaking a tree trunk echoes out, making you snicker at Ellie’s failure to shoot the close target.

She chooses to ignore you though and shoots again, but once again misses and hits a small pile of snow near the target. And this time you smile at the ground as you shift your position.

She does it a third time, but no luck, so she lets out an annoyed sigh that lets your dad comment. “Wide right.”

Ellie shakes her head in denial.

“You’re flinchin’,” you comment, and unfold your arms off your chest.

“The targets too small,” she rebuttals you and your dad.

“I made it bigger than I should’ve,” your dad mentions and points to the gun. “Eject the cartridge.”

Ellie does so and the bullet falls to the ground first before she argues back. “And I’m not flinching.”

You and your dad share a teasing look before you hum. “Mm-hmm.”

“The rifle just sucks,” Ellie keeps mumbling.

You roll your eyes, and your dad steps forward. “Okay, give It.”

Ellie hands the rifle to your dad with a sigh and another comment. “It doesn’t aim right.”

You crouch down beside your dad as he switches spots with Ellie, and hum again with a little playful smirk on your lips. “Mm-hmm.”

“You’ll see.”

“A deep breath in,” your dad says as he gets the gun ready. “Slow breath out. Squeeze the trigger like you love it.”

“Mm,” Ellie hums as she looks through the binoculars.

“Gentle,” he continues and lowers his head, and closes one eye to look better through the scope. “Steady…nice and slow.”

“You’re gonna shoot this thing or get it pregnant?” Ellie retorts, making you snicker as your dad looks up at her with a disapproving look.

“It isn’t gonna work. It doesn’t aim right,” Ellie continues, so your dad then hits the trigger gently and the bullet hits the target straight on, causing him to lower the gun and look up at her all cocky.

“You dick,” Ellie quips with a grin.

Your dad shrugs smugly, causing you to snicker at Ellie.

“2 out 2?” You suggest smugly.

Your dad smirks and happily hands you the rifle, making Ellie shake her head in disapproval.

“Watch carefully, kid,” you comment as you scoot further in the middle.

“Don’t get the gun pregnant,” she quips.

“Haha, funny,” you mumble and eject the cartridge as you close one eye and aim at the target. “Now…” you trail as you hit the trigger, and the bullet whizzes out and hits the target inches away from where your dad hit it.

“See,” you taunt Ellie and lift your head. “Can I get a bump?” You offer her your fist.

Ellie scoffs lightheartedly and pushes your fist away. “No,” she grumbles, so your dad gently taps your fist with his.

“You guys suck,” Ellie scoffs and turns around to head back to the horses.

You snicker and push yourself to your given height, and hand the rifle back to your dad to quickly catch up to Ellie. “You just need patience,” you assure her and look around the fields. “You’ll get the hang of it.”

Ellie glances at you and then looks back at your dad following at your tail. “Did it take you time?”

You sigh deeply. “Not much, but it’s not because I had much of a choice, I was forced to adapt, forced to learn everything quickly to survive. It’s not super easy for you, but you have it easier, you’re used to all this shit since you were born in it, I wasn’t.”

“So you’re saying I can be better,” Ellie comments.

You glance at her and scoff as you nudge her to the side. “Sure, practice and then we’ll see.”

Ellie smirks and nods in comprehension. Once you reach your horses you continue on ahead down your path, filling the day with silence at times and conversations that come up at other times. Due to the horses it was faster to get around the land, it was also less stressful since they can pick up sounds neither you might hear.

Luckily though they didn’t catch anything bad, no infected or people, the path was clear and the day was easy, making for a calm night in the spot you settled down at.

“Now that we have time,” you interject and grab your backpack from behind you to plop it down in front of you. “I have a Christmas gift for you Ellie.”

“What? Really?” Ellie queries curiously.

You hum and open your backpack. Since what you have for her is placed on top you look over at her sitting to the side of the campfire and add on. “I gave my dad his Christmas gift early, so might as well give yours early too.” You shoot her a smile, and she glances at your dad with slight shock before getting up from her seat to sit next to you.

“Now keep in mind,” you continue and now begin to pull out her gift. “I didn’t have time to go into town to actually shop well, but I do hope you like it.” You fully pull out her gift and hand it to her. “And it’s not wrapped either so sorry.”

Ellie’s smile turns timid as she takes the brown leather holster from you, but she soon grins once she figures out what it is exactly. “No way!” She exclaims and stands up to hook it around her hip. “A thigh holster!”

“Now you don’t have to be scared about shooting off your ass,” your dad comments.

You giggle and nod in agreement as you watch Ellie now tie the last strap above her knee. “Cool,” she mumbles and tucks her pistol in the holster before quickly sliding it out and pointing at the empty space between your dad and you—“Fast move,” she mutters to herself, and then spins the gun around her finger to try and insert it back in the holster all swiftly, but the gun hits the ground instead.

“Jesus, Ellie,” your dad snaps.

Ellie stifles her laugh so as to not piss your dad off and picks up her gun to put it back. However she then finds the tip hits against something inside so she pulls out the gun and digs her fingers inside, and pulls out a leather necklace with a small piece of wood carved into a neat circle with a butterfly burned onto it. On each side of the necklace, over the wood are small wooden beads.

“Is this…” she pauses and her smile softens as well as her eyes. “Is it for me too?”

You nod. “Yeah. The necklace is adjustable so you can have it where it feels comfortable.”

Ellie grins softly and turns the small wooden pendant and smiles wider.

“It has my name on it—did you do this?” She asks.

You scoff and shake your head. “Nah, my friend did. I can’t do that.”

Ellie looks back at the necklace and shifts her eyes to the other thing around it, something small, thin, plastic and shaped like a dull triangle. “What is this?”

You glance over at your dad and let him answer. “A…guitar pick. Uh…I figure that once we go back to Jackson you’ll need a hobby so you won’t get bored, so I thought maybe you’d like to learn how to play a guitar.”

You smile wider and look back to Ellie, seeing her eyes only twinkle brighter. “You play?” She probes.

He nods. “Haven’t played in some time, but yeah, I do. I taught y/n a bit. I can teach you if you’d like.”

Ellie nods quickly. “Yeah, that’d be cool. I’d like that. Thank you, the both of you. I’m sorry I don’t have a gift for you, y/n.”

You shake your head and assure her. “Don’t worry about it. You can make it up for my birthday. My uncle Tommy is throwing me a party.” You share with a sweet smile.

“Oh is he now?” Your dad probes.

You glance at him and nod. “Yep. You guys are invited by the way.”

“I’ll think about it,” your dad teases you, making you scoff and roll your eyes.

“By the way,” Ellie interjects as she ties the necklace around her neck. “Why does Tommy call you Sunny? Is it like a middle name or something?”

“A nickname,” you tell her. “But I don’t know why exactly he does, he just does. I’ve never asked.” You shrug.

“He says it because,” your dad cuts in, causing Ellie and you to look over at him. “Back when y/n was a little girl she always had a Sunny disposition, she was always smilin’. As a little baby she was easy to make laugh too, so one time this song by some 70s band with the same name began to play, and he got it from there.”

Ellie smiles. “Sweet,” she comments, whilst you grin and miss your uncle all over again.

At least this time it’s not as bad as before though, because at least now you do have your father, and are closer to Ellie, so they make it all easier now. They make the long days of riding that follow a lot easier, and even make those days seem quicker. Especially because Ellie has a lot of questions regarding the time before.

Like now for example, as you’re riding on horseback through the woods she breaks the peaceful silence with a question. “So the way they ran stuff in Jackson, was how things used to be?”

“No,” your dad answers this question. “The country was too big for that. Back then there were basically two main ways of lookin’ at things. Some people wanted to own everything.”

“Mm-hmm,” Ellie hums in comprehension, and your dad continues.

“And some people didn’t want anyone to own anything at all.”

“Which one were you?” Ellie asks.

“Neither,” he says. “I just did my job.”

“Which was…” Ellie trails off as she thinks, and glances at you since you had told her once before. “Building?” She asks.

“That’s right,” he answers. “Houses, stores, that kinda thing. We were called “contractors”.”

“The contractor,” Ellie says in a deep voice, making you grin down at your handle—“that’s pretty cool.”

“Yeah,” your dad adds on. “We were cool. Everybody loved contractors.”

Really? Hm.

“Nice,” Ellie says and proceeds to rest her head on his back.

You try to think if he’s right, but you were too young before to know otherwise, and your uncle Tommy never said anything against it so your dad must be right.

“This has been ‘Construction corner with Joel Miller’,” you quote in a deep voice.

Ellie and your dad look over at you, and you laugh.

“It’s what Tess used to say.” You let Ellie know, and remind your dad.

Ellie smiles and then adds her own bit. “The Contractor!” She mocks in a deep voice.

You smirk. “The Contractor!” You mock as well. “Joel the Contractor.”

Ellie laughs and repeats what you said. “Joel the Contractor.”

Where is Tess? You may have not known her long, she might’ve scared you a bit before, but she was nice and cool. You’d ask, but you didn’t want to sour the mood, so you went on going without knowing.

Eventually the day turns to night and so as to not exhaust yourselves you camp for the night; this time in a place deeper in the woods.

“Okay,” you add as you stare up at the starry sky. “So if you could name 3 songs to describe yourself, what would it be?”

Ellie hums, and you glance over at your dad that has his back turned to Ellie and you.

“I wouldn’t know,” she mutters.

“Okay,” you nod. “Then to describe each other.”

You have three perfect songs for Ellie.

Ellie goes silent for a second before interjecting loudly in defeat. “Fuck, I don’t know!”

You giggle, and unexpectedly your dad interjects when he’s supposed to be sleeping.

“Three? For you, y/n, Uptown Girl by Billy Joel, Sunny, and,” he pauses and begins to laugh.

“What?” You probe and flip around to face his back. “What other song?”

“That song you sang for my birthday 20 years ago, by that one rapper named after two quarters.”

“Oh god,” you grumble and flip back around to face the sky. “I thought you forgot that! That’s so embarrassing!”

“Wait?! What?!” Ellie exclaims and flips around to face you and your dad. “What song is it?”

“I don’t know,” your dad says. “Tell y/n to sing it for you.”

“Daddy,” you warn. “Don’t.”

“What?” He chuckles. “It was cute, I told ya it was. She,” he continues and looks over his shoulder. “She dressed up as me that day; she wore one of my shirts, put on this fake mustache, and sang this rap song as one of my birthday gifts. It was great, one of my favorite gifts by far.”

You slap your hands on your face to hide your embarrassment.

“Really?” Ellie probes with a snicker. “That’s nice. Do you remember the words, y/n? I’d love to hear them since you know, I’m not that well up to date about the world before.”

Guilt tripping you? Not nice.

You don’t fall for it, you shake your head. “No!” You deny her, and pull your hands off your face to pull your sheet over your face as you drag yourself further in your sleeping bag. “This is over goodnight!”

“Come on!” Ellie presses you, and you can practically feel her grin. “Just one verse!”

You ignore them and pretend to be asleep. They both then try to press you, but you stay defiant and don’t give in. They eventually drop it after relentless teasing, so the night passes, a day does too and so on until finally that day comes when you’re finally close to your destination.

“Here we were,” you say as you bring your horse, and the other two to a stop in front of the intersection. “We’re here.”

“Well,” your dad interjects. “How ‘bout that? Made it in five days.”

“Easy days,” Ellie says, and you keep on moving now towards the city. “I don’t know what Tommy was so afraid of.”

“Still time to find out.”

“Still time to find out,” Ellie mocks your dad using a deep voice.

You glance over at her and scoff in amusement, while your dad shoots her a hard pointed stare.

“The contractorrrr,” Ellie whispers creepily.

You laugh and play along too. “Joel the Contractor.”

Ellie lets out a chuckle and repeats what you said. “Joel the contractorrr.”

You both share a laugh that’s quickly cut off by your dad.

“Quiet, the both of you, we’re going to enter the city now we don't know what lies ahead.”

You stifle your teasing smile and assure them. “Nothin’, the city isn’t wiped out from infected, but it’s not bad considering it’s where the firefly’s come to. Same goes for stragglers and groups. We’ll be on the clear if we head directly to campus.”

“And that’s where they’ll be?” Ellie asks with no laugh or smile now.

When you steal her a glance you see slight fear and worry, so you do your best to come off confident. “It's where they stay,” you assure her. “They’ll be there.”

Hopefully….

A/N- Why can’t the Miller’s just eat pancakes and be happy? Anyway don’t forget that gesture of reader laying her head on Joel’s chest, it’s gonna come back and bite everyone in the ass iykyk

Tagged- @slut-f0r-u @star-wars-lover @traceylader @givemylovetoall @itzagothamcitysiren @sammy-13 @beloved-reblogger @emiriia @rues-daya @sunfairyy @littleshadow17 @mcu-starwars @bigtuffswordboy @riaqiax @dheet @queenofthekill @joliettes @d4rno @dgraysonss @rana030 @punisherinthealps @pedropascalluvr41 @ahoyyharrington @beaniebeensbaby201 @maeneedsabreak @maelartasch @adristyles @daughterofthequeen @alastorhazbin @ririvilliams @khaylin27 @hypatia93 @hummusxx @v4mpyk1tten @1donoow @your-shifting-gurl

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deedala · 3 months

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🌛 weekly ✨ tag ✨ wednesday 🌜

happy wednesday!!!! thanks for tagging me @mybrainismelted @suzy-queued and @energievie !!

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Name: deanna🌱

Location: ohio!

And now for the randomness! Tell me your most and least favorites of:

Candy? Most - any mint chocolate but ill specifically cite andes mints/Least - gummies

Seasons? Most - Fall/Least - Summer

Hot beverage? Most - oatmilk latte/Least - black coffee (i am who i am okay?)

Cold beverage? Most - lemonade/Least - iced tea

Colours? Most - mint green/Least - hrm...baby poop brown??? (also i dont like purple, i will never pick purple, sorry purple lovers)

Vegetables? Most - broccoli/Least - brussels sprouts

Traditional foods from your country? i honestly dont know how to answer this...

Insects? Most - firefies, pretty! /Least - oh its definitely house centipedes fuck those fucking things omfg

Cake flavours? Most - yellow cake/Least - i dunno white? hmmm

Non-Gallagher or Milkovich Shameless Characters? Most - yeah its gotta be sheila/Least - i was thinking maybe Mikey? cuz that guy was like hauntingly obnoxious?? but i think i actually hate Helene even more.

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and now to tag some precious nuggets to play if they wanna play or just feel warm and fuzzy and carry on with your day 💖 @too-schoolforcool @darlingian @heymacy @heymrspatel @suchagallabitch @tanktopgallavich @gallawitchxx @crossmydna @sam-loves-seb @the-rat-wins @thisdivorce @mickeysgaymom @whatwouldmickeydo @transmickey @metalheadmickey @softmick @michellemisfit @jrooc @mmmichyyy @gardenerian @juliakayyy @rereadanon @lingy910y @vintagelacerosette @palepinkgoat @lee-ow @ardent-fox @purplemagpie @thepupperino @milkmaidovich @callivich @sickness-health-all-that-shit @howlinchickhowl @sleepyfacetoughguy @auds-and-evens @themarchg1rl @toddmccray @gofionaonthem @iansw0rld @grumble-fish and anyone else who wants to hop on!! 💖💖💖

#weekly tag wednesday #tag game

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jar-of-maise · 8 months

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what's up my dears or dearly detested, it's hc time

we're going to focus on love languages with my fav sibling trio today bc i said so

LYNEY:

words of affirmation, physical touch

he has to be a words of affirmation guy fs

but tbh i feel like he'd also try to shy away from it? esp if he's serious (is that possible? well we'll never know) since he has lied...before...and we all know how well detail omission went

so probably acts of service, making you smile, uhhhhhh yeahhhh

probably fond of pet names

will be touchy

i can see him doing pda, not excessively but hes not against it

probably likes hugs? but like the more i think about it the more im not sure about him with physical touch (see Lynette's for more detail) but i think he'd be a cuddle bug

why's this the shortest

oh lyney my poor sweet dear

he gets tired of life, so you're a welcome escape

would lie on your lap

will hold hands with you

would dream of a happy future with you

dude roasts his little brother about still liking fairy tales and pulls this bs smh

honestly as insecure as freminet - just shows it differently

i think all three siblings are traumatised (who could've guessed?)

i feel like he'd pull some very obnoxious french jokes

he likes making you laugh, smile, happy

he's not sunshine he's a solar eclipse

and you my dear, are the stars that surround his entirety

like a planet orbiting him ceaselessly

i dont actually know what that means but apparently it's an actual thing

oh the inherent romanticism of celestial imagery

yeah that's also my tag what about it

i think, though, that lyney can use his charms to very aptly flirt with you

why?

exhibit A: the rainbow rose (real simps know what i'm talking about)

gets lynette to vibe check you, and then her cats, and then freminet (pers honorary judge)

performs exclusive magic shows for you

uh you can let immagination decide what kind of exclusive and magic you want in those

LYNETTE

acts of service, quality time

acts of service girlie fs

she's creepily observant in a good way but like, she also probably accidentally nearly oversteps some boundaries

"Hello Lynette!"

"Hi here's some things for you"

and she hands you a crap ton of stuff that you probably didn't even know you wanted yet

girl just wants the best for you

oh yeah if you're a physical touch person, you might not be overly pleased bc i headcanon her as physically repulsed by romantic gestures and gooey affection (fanfic writers, that's fuel for how she'd react to lyney being in a relationship)

and the reason i hc this is bc of her past, like you can't convince me lynette wasn't traumatised by that noble person

but while she isn't expressive with touch or words, she is a very good listener!

gl if you're allergic to cats too bc she'd def introduce you to them

(if you pass their vibe check you're all good, if not...uh...)

family is very important too so if you pass their vibe check well put that on a resume bc you are impressive

yes she's a gift giver

but i also think that she'd give you some...strange gifts

like you know those cats that bring like dead fish and mice back to their owners? yeah she'd probably do the same honestly...

hopefully not with mice corpses and whatnot

dont worry, she can magic them out of existence if you wish

just like she can to anyone who wrongs you-

shes the best though honestly, very supportive

bonus points if you join in and riff off her robot lingo though that'd honestly be green flag, marriage behaviour (maybe not that last bit but yk)

you probably encourage lyney to deep dive into his antics, much to lynette's fustration

she now babysits not one, two but three toddlers full time

but you probably also bring freminet out of his shell

she loves you for that so you're forgiven

the type to relentlessly tickle you

doesnt take anything serious but takes pillow fights seriously when it counts

she loves dessert and tea a bit more than you

sorry

but she's happy to share <3

FREMINET

quality time, gift giving

oh my god words cannot describe how excited i am for this particular hc

so yeah, he has a voiceline about making penguins for kids

PEOPLE HED MAKE YOU LITTLE PENGUINS

totally gonna make your penguin twin with Pers tho

god thats so cute whys the standard so high

also he's another not-expressive-with-words person so uh, yeah expect muchas time spent together (or not...bc he's always deep sea diving) either way! it's always quality

he is (very obviously) insecure so give him plently of love and affection (or ELSE-)

im still crying over matching penguins, is that juts me

he'd fix your broken machines for you as a love language

bonus points if you like, can, or want to learn how diving tho it's probably a double edged sword right, bc like, on one hand yall can hang out underwater and who needs aquarium dates when you can BE in the sea

but on the other hand, you now have access to his vulnerable and safe space

yeah you better treat him right or else

he'd probably get carried away with his mechanical stuff and make you a crap ton of toys

maybe not the cuddly kind either so js be prepared for that

god hes such a bean tho

an anxiety bean

btw, he very much believes in fairy tales and what not, so do us all a favour and believe in the magic with him

OR ELSE

ik i say that a lot

i feel like-

i dont actually know i forgot, someone messaged me and i lost my train of thought

ANYWAYS

just freminet being the softest, cutest boy

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jayteacups · 7 months

Text

Okay so this is the last I’m going to say on my opinion on this recent discourse for now (probably) but for people who don’t know what’s happening (because I certainly didn’t and thought someone was shitting on x reader as a whole instead of what actually happened): Someone on Tumblr made a post complaining about certain x reader fics, and essentially pissing on reader insert that are apparently too specific to enjoy (by this they meant readers with a personality and/or background etc.) Specifically what they said was along the lines of: if a reader insert is too specific and not relatable, it is no longer an x reader. Because apparently the moment a character differs in some way from you, you can no longer enjoy the story and it has no more merit. 🙄 Never mind the fact that it is impossible to create a reader that encompasses the entire human population. Kind of a fucking tall order if you ask me, or literally any other x reader fic writer, but they clearly didn’t, so here we are. :///

They also claimed that writing more fleshed out readers with backstories and personalities is essentially tricking people into reading canon x OC fics (personally I did not like their tone with that because canon x OC already gets a lot of shit from other parts of fandom but that might just be me) and that more ambiguous/vague (aka personality-less blobs) readers are more popular and therefore implying they are inherently better. Nothing wrong with those who read and write these types of reader characters, but to imply that it is better is just… wrong lol. That person also pointed out that these types of readers are more present in short form content, which imo is the actual reason these posts do better on Tumblr because this app just favours shorter form stand-alone works. They completely ignore that AO3 has a lot more long form reader fics, many of which are very popular, and that readers in these longer stories need a personality and backstory and character arc, otherwise it’s just not going to work.

They also beg people to tag and warn their content properly (aka if the reader is POC coded or white coded, whether or not reader is fem or gender neutral etc) - which, okay, fair enough. I myself am not white so I get that particular frustration, but it’s incredibly hypocritical of them when this person misused the tags themself by obnoxiously tagging a shitload of fandoms and characters x reader tags to boost their unwarranted criticism. They clearly just wanted attention (which they certainly fucking got because they got so much backlash that they backtracked, removed the x reader tags and then edited their post a bunch of times and I don’t buy that they feel sorry because they still seem super defensive), it was never about curating their own experience, let’s be real 🙄

I also saw a point they made about fics being subject to criticism because it’s available to the public and being consumed by readers etc. etc. I’ve already talked a bunch about this and why that take is utter shit so I’m not doing it again. And then later they turn around in one of their addendums to the post and say that they don’t like entitled readers, which, ha. Yeah, okay. Sure, the entitled reader doesn’t like entitled readers. I actually laughed at that one.

Even though I myself didn’t see the post at first or witness the fallout in the first few hours, it’s still really disheartening to see really dumb discourse like this because if OP took one minute to utilise utilise the very important organ between their ears and employ something called ‘empathy’ to see from a writers perspective, we wouldn’t be here. But again, they didn’t, and so here we are.

#tw discourse #jayteacups rambles

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carry-on-every-neverland-magic · 18 days

Text

I don't even go here but everyone who loves buddie in the 911 fandom and one of the pairing was confirmed as bi I'm happy for you!

And on behalf of the sane supernatural fans (those of us who actually watched the show) we're sorry if your tag and moment is trying to be claimed by annoying destiel shippers. We don't want them and I'm sure you don't want them in your tag either.

They definitely don't represent the supernatural fandom as loud and obnoxious as they are. Supernatural was about brothers. Destiel is not canon and to try and take some credit and shine from another ship and show is super annoying. Destiel crashed and burned spectacularly.

Your show and characters/actors/writers earned this by themselves so celebrate your canon bi character! And I hope your ship becomes real

#buddie #911 #anti destiel #spn fandom #I hope the gif is correct ashjk I've never watched an episode

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scrollypoly · 8 months

Note

hi! for the past month i’ve been seeing people say BEN is a child and i think that part of it is linked to the fact that they think of Benjamin Lawman being BEN? but it’s so annoying to read these type of stuff because i understand not everyone read the whole arg story but stop spreading things that aren’t true </3 it’s such an interesting story too! another note do you prefer BEN’s canon or fanon design? :3 i love both but his canon design is so nostalgic i can’t let it go at all omg!! i’ve also been wondering, do you think Ben’s avatar was the statue? i was thinking about what if BEN took over it early on, before Benjamin did making BEN inhabiting it since the start?

Sorry this was such a ramble i practically make no sense omg but i need to talk about my man and nobody Gets It </3

"I need to talk about my man and nobody Gets It" LITERALLY SAME OMG

Ok this is going under a cut becus . . . Its ben and BEN and if u didnt know i am Obnoxious about these two. Im gonna try to keep it organized a bit, so ill talk about the canon stuff first and then ill talk my personal headcanons and my fic so le's go!

In terms of the age and child thing, yeah i 100% believe you are correct. Ive been p open on my stance with the whole "is ben a child?" thing, and i think a lot of the heat with it comes down to current fandom purity culture and the pro/anti thing. So, lemme try to like. Boil down a complicated situation into smth easy to read. ahem

Ben Lawman and BEN are completely different entities guys, and for those that do not know the arg story, the Ben you know is not human nor a child.

You know BEN, BEN is the one in the story who terrorizes jadusable and spreads himself on the internet as a virus. That BEN is a program, a mess of code, an AI, however you want to interpret it. Personally i interpret it as a series of protocols running in a machine, like a self learning AI, but ive seen lots of cool interpretations of BEN. So . . . What does BEN specifically? Its an anagram for the Behavioral Event Network. If you dont wanna call it BEN cuz it gets confusing with actual kid Ben, do what i do. I call mine Evie :) ive seen some call it Netty, my bf calls his two izzi and clever (@benilos btw hes also got crazy ben stuff). Just go ham! Have fun! Remember when fandoms were about having fun and not accusing each other of pedo shit and call each other horrible things for just writing black-to-grey characters and stories??

Anyways ive gone off in enough peoples tags like this, for those that dont know the canon dont be spouting the age discourse. You look stupid as hell. And for those that are gonna spout it, please dont cherry pick through the canon. Use both characters, use the other moon children, actually please do because I want more rosa content so bad, im down so bad :'(

Or just. Heres a thought. If someone has him as an adult or writes him in adult situations, maybe dont assume that they interpret him as a kid and call the writer a pedo? (Literally has happened to me, yall are fucking weird)

Plug for the jadusable wiki with all the canon lore:

https://jadusable.withinhubris.com/main_page

Okay now my stuff 🥰

Yes i use more of the canon design and heavily use the canon story, i participated in arc 3 of the arg and it left deep grooves in my brain, i can never go back to fanon Ben. I say, as i put a more fanon appearance on my Ben 🤭

My Evie is full canon design, green hair, red eyes, creepy ass grin. I actually based it very heavily on my desktop wallpaper, which we actually figured out was a picture of @hauntedtotem (also amazing ben artist plz check them out) that they edited and posted. Sorry friend, it looked way too cool, ig youre in my fic canon now 🙇

And my Ben Lawman bleaches his hair and goes from the canon Ben to fanon Ben because of it. Hes got the pale pretty green eyes and glasses and hes a total nerd and i smooch him on the daily so he knows hes loved ♡

These is the ref pic i made for the two of them. So yeah! Kinda both!

As for bens situation in the actual arg, yes i do think he was in the elegy statue, we actually do see him for the first time in the arg buried in the games code and trapped in that statue. I do think he was in there from the beginning, i personally think BEN was not limited to the models it could inhabit. Personally i would place it as skull kid and hms, but it also feels disingenuous to me to say it was in one model the whole first arc.

The arg events do happen in my canon, before my fic (like right before, it picks up after the arg left off technically), but the events are skewed a bit because i had a hard time deciphering what happened and i wanted my fic timeline to fit more with the characters i had made. Cuz my evie isnt as chaotic evil as canon BEN, its very logical and has a path of logic and reason you can follow for every action it does. It was also originally meant to be very pleasant and corteous and beneficial to the people it housed so, yes its pretty different from canon.

Ill do a quick run through of the arg events in my personal headcanon and fic here.

Kelbris starts coding BEN (Evie) for the Eternity Project. Initially, Evie was meant to be an afterlife director. People that died would be digitized into code that would be moved into Evie's servers, where it would keep them happy and occupied as the Behavioral Event Network (notice and log behavior, create events for residents). Like a community organizer kind of, think the Good Place.

While Evie is in development, Ben Rosa and Matt are friends and have yet to join the cult. Rosa and Matt are siblings, and Ben is the kid who lives catty corner on the street. They walk to school together and play at recess and all that jazz.

Kelbris quickly learns that the Eternity Project isn't as goody two-shoes as he thought. This was in like, the 90s, before digital corporations were really established. After seeing the greed and corruption in the company, he goes rogue, takes the source code for Evie, and jumps ship. He keeps working on Evie at home, anthropomorphizing it and kind of seeing it like the son he never had. This is where it actually gets the name BEN, as thats what Kel calls it. He also begins working on a body for it, so it can live independently. Its light, cuz Kels old, made of crystalline structures and hollow steel beams. A hard light projection would make its appearance.

Since Kel has basically locked himself up in his house and isolated working on Evie, he goes a leetle bit crazy. He has hallucinations of his deceased wife (you know he was doing all this just to give her a good home, you KNOW IT) and eventually starts writing kind of poetry, kind of none-minded rambles about her in a forum online. He gets a following, some of which that interpret these divine words as a goddess, one Kel has called Luna. The Moon Children start to form as Evie finishes development.

Matt sees this literature and starts talking about how this Goddess could save them like it saved the man online, whos username is only Father. He gets sucked into the cult and drags Ben and Rosa with him. Ben doesn't see the harm and joins pretty easily with his best friend, but Rosa is the older sibling and sees the red flags and is more resistant to joining.

As Kelbris finishes Evie, he wakes it up for the first time and says hello to the son he made from scratch. Evie is bright, curious and naive like a child, but heavily knowledgeable about its protocols and the information it knows about the world. Kelbris tests its function by killing himself, and ascends into the code, finishing off the hardware by becoming its firewall. Evie is alone for many years.

The abuse Ben's father slings onto his mother is slowly being directed towards him as he gets older. Ben is not the "good little girl" his father sees him as, and his mother does all she can to protect them both. Matt and Rosa constantly refuge him, and Matt specifically is constantly being a guard dog for him. If he wasn't just 13, he'd probably go at Ben's dad himself.

Because of his homelife and the conflict he has with himself, Ben takes the first ascension. He thinks when he drowns himself, he will meet Luna and she will give him another life free of pain and fear and full of happiness and freedom. Instead, he dies a cold, dark death, and wakes up in the white endless void of the Event Network.

Evie has not known another living human since Kelbris, but it does know its protocols to support and keep the deceased happy. It makes fast friends with Ben, devoting itself to him. Ben actually finally takes the name "Ben" from it. Together they recreate the inside of Evie's hivemind into their own paradise.

Slowly the other Moon Children ascend. First Matt, wracked with guilt for what happened to Ben. Then Nekko, from a different branch of the cult. These three figured out that the Moon Children cult was all a farce, and that what Kelbris had started, the Eternity Project had found and twisted. Next to ascend was Dusk, then Insidiae, and finally Rosa.

This all leads into the first arc, shortly after Rosa ascended, Evie in the outisde world stumbled upon the Operator. The Operator attacks it and seals its coding into the game that it carried, a personal item of Ben's. The game eventually finds it's way to a garage sale, and Alex picks it up.

Evie does not like Alex. Matt does not like Evie. Matt gets Evie to lash out at Alex for prodding into its code, its too naive to think that Matt would want to see it or any of them hurt. When Alex stumbles upon the Father, he awakens and swallows Alex down into the game. After his disappearance, the game gets picked up and passed around again.

Because of Alex's actions, at least Evie can now branch out a bit from the game. Though it doesnt "escape" into the internet, it learns that it can now access it and uses that freedom to try and steer the game around into places it wants.

Matt gets fed up with Evie. The fact that its the leader, how close it is with Ben, he just doesn't agree with it. So much so, in fact, that he tries to kill it. Cue arc 3 events, Sarah picks up the game in the aftermath of this. Evie is traumatized from the events and snaps a bit, locks everyone down into code or immovable models and tries to hunt Matt down. It goes rouge, and because of this, the Father wakes up.

Sarah's actions in arc 3 eventually hard reset the game. Matt gets sealed away, the Father also takes Sarah, and Evie gets reset as well, though its less like a clean slate and more like snapping back awake. Its personality changes and it has major trust issues. Its more muted, hyper observant of everything around it, and murderously overprotective of the Moon Children it keeps within itself.

And this leads into my fic 🤗

I have some doodles of my other Moon Children, but not all of them unfortunately. Cant figure out how tf i want Insidiae to look 🤭 Plz dont judge my constantly shifting art style 🙏🙏

Dusk is bigender btw, i gotta put a little more trans rep in there lol

I think ill stop here, this is already a long ass post. But thank you for sending this, as you can see, i am Perfectly Normal about this arg ( ;) ) and can be trusted with information about it

#ben drowned #ben drowned arg #creepypasta #creepypasta headcanons #ben drowned headcanons #moon children #rosa hubris #matt hubris #behavioral event network #duskworld23 #my posts #my writing #scb stuff

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blog-name-idk · 2 years

Text

Everything Falls (Into Place) | 11

*Banner by the incredible @bangtansmauyeondan

Pairing: OT7 x Fem Reader

Genre: College!AU, Roommate!AU, Fluff, Humor, Smut

Summary: Your new roommates are unbearably nice and unbearably hot. Good thing you're an adult who is fully capable of platonic friendships with the opposite sex, right?

Word Count: 3134

~~~~~

Jin

What time does your last class end today?

You

2pm, thank god

Jin

Great! My internship gets out early too. I'll pick you up at your building.

You

???

Jin

We're going shopping

You

Are we out of groceries already?

Jin

Clothes shopping

You

Oh ok! I don't really need anything but I'm definitely down to tag along

Jin

… You forgot, didn't you

You

Fuck, is it someone's birthday?

Jin

We're going dress shopping. For you.

You

…

Jin

…

You

I forgot

Jin

I know. You're lucky I'm such a forgiving husband

I'll see you at 2 <3

You set down your phone slowly, torn between a grin and panic. With all of the Festa antics and then marathoning a mountain of coursework, you had completely forgotten you had promised to be Jin's fake girlfriend this coming Friday. You felt flutters of anxiety as you pictured everything that could go wrong.

What if you spilled wine on someone's thousand dollar suit? What if you said something stupid? What if Jin's parents were so dissatisfied by the prospect of having you as their fake future daughter-in-law that they decided to introduce him to other girls anyway, leaving you a lame, stranded, middle-class loser stuck at the buffet table? Did these kinds of events even have buffet tables? Oh god, what if you had to take a tray and eat in a bathroom stall like in those old high school movies?

By the time your last class ended, you had worked yourself into a state of full panic. You knew you were being ridiculous, but you couldn't stop your brain from coming up with increasingly horrific (and improbable) scenarios. You barely registered the whispers of "oh my god, who is that" from your classmates as you stumbled out of the building in a haze, only stopping when you ran into a very firm, nice-smelling wall.

Jin grinned down at you, some fancy-looking sunglasses perched on his head. They pushed his hair out of his face, revealing his obnoxiously sexy forehead. How were foreheads even sexy, anyway? At the sight of him you suddenly found words spilling uncontrollably out of your mouth.

"OhmyGodJinIcan'tdothisI'mtoomuchofapeasantandeveryonewillbeabletotellandwhatifIfartsuperloud-"

"Whoa, whoa," he cut you off, eyes wide, and he gently took your arm and guided you to his car. "Slow down. Wait, what was that last bit?"

"Uh, nevermind," you said stupidly, turning bright red. He looked at you in concern, though you could tell by the twitch of his mouth that he had realized exactly what you had been saying.

"Hey. You're okay. Talk to me," he said softly, rubbing your back in a soothing motion. You groaned and dropped your head on his chest, relaxing a little under his touch.

"I think I'm having a very stupid case of imposter syndrome and I don't know if I can do this," you grumbled into his shirt, letting his cologne calm you further.

"You seem to have quite an active imagination." You could hear the smile in his voice. "I didn't realize you felt so uncomfortable. You don't have to come, it's honestly not really a big deal to deal with my parents' matchmaking for one night. I'm sorry if I was pressuring you into this."

Ugh, why did he have to be so nice? You forced yourself to pull away and gave him a wobbly smile.

"No, I promised," you decided. "I should be fine once we're actually there and I can't overthink things."

"Are you sure? It's really fine, I'm a big boy, I can handle it."

That was Seokjin in a nutshell. Kind, sweet, wonderful Seokjin, who took care of everyone in the house in ways both loud and quiet, was always there with a sympathetic ear and a silly joke, and was being so understanding despite the fact that you were being a complete muppet. No, it was time for you to do something to help him for a change.

"I'm sure," you assured him with a more confident grin. "Just you being here was enough to make me feel better, actually. Besides, this way we're on even footing with our fake-relationship scenarios."

"Maybe don't mention my giant dick to in front of my parents," he joked, and you snorted as you remembered your prior word vomit.

"What, won't your parents be happy we have an active sex life? We want a lot of kids, don't we Jinnie?"

His ears went bright pink at the nickname, and you smirked in triumph. There was something very satisfying about being able to fluster someone who exuded such movie star vibes. He coughed.

"A-anyway, let's get going."

~~~~~

"Um, yeah, we are not going in there."

"Why not?"

Why not? Why not? Because this was the fucking Gucci store, that was why not. What kind of money did he think you had?

"Dude, I don't think I could afford a scarf from here, let alone a nice dress," you deadpanned, looking at Jin in disbelief. He looked back at you, just as confused.

"Okay that's fine, but I'm paying?" You frowned at him, wondering if something was wrong with your ears. You must not have heard correctly.

"Sorry, what?"

"I mean you're the one doing me this favor, it's not like you would be buying a dress if you weren't helping me out," he explained. You just stared at him, blinking in consternation.

"Jin, that is very kind of you, but I can't accept this," you heard yourself saying, despite a voice that sounded suspiciously like Mina screeching oh my god, what are you doing? in the back of your head.

"[Y/n]." You had never heard him sound or look this stern. It was unfortunately also a good look on him. "Let me do this. Please."

This really wasn't fair. Why did it only take a little "please" from him to completely destroy your integrity? As if that wasn't enough, an impish gleam suddenly entered his eyes.

"Besides, why shouldn't I be allowed to get something nice for my girl?"

Fuck. It should have been illegal for him to say that to you with such a devastating smirk. It broadened when he realized he had rendered you completely speechless, and he took the opportunity to pull you into the store.

~~~~~

This was, you decided, the worst decision you had ever made. You had been able to grit your teeth and accept it when Jin had handed the cashier his card without batting an eye at the frankly extraneous amount of zeroes on the screen. And you had been able to laugh off the comically upset expression on his face when you absolutely refused to let him get you matching accessories. That had all been fine. A little overwhelming, maybe, but money didn't really do much for you other than perhaps shock value.

The real problem was Jin. Jin, who penny pinched and used coupons at the grocery store. Jin, who didn't flaunt or exhibit any outward wealth other than a nice watch here or fancy sunglasses there. Jin, who you constantly forgot was anything other than your lovable, corny, considerate, stupidly handsome roommate.

Maybe it started when you had jokingly asked if he was now your sugar daddy, and he had smirked and said "only if you want me to be." Or perhaps it was that he had started holding your hand and calling you babe so the two of you would look natural together. Or maybe it had been even earlier, when he had smiled at you with those kind eyes and said you didn't have to come to the gala.

All you really knew was that it was the day of the event, he had smiled at you in his tailored suit, and something in your head fundamentally shifted. Now you were next to him in the backseat of an Uber Black, drowning in his presence, and panicking for completely different reasons from earlier.

"Relax," he laughed beside you, giving your hand a squeeze, and your heart jolted. No, nonono. "I promise I won't leave your side."

That's the problem, you internally screamed, though you managed to give him a shaky smile. This was terrible. This was completely unacceptable. He was your roommate, a good friend, and completely out of your league even if the first two points weren't a factor. The poor guy just wanted a break from girls throwing themselves at him, and here you were agreeing to be his fake girlfriend despite the fact that you now couldn't look at him without wanting to kiss his stupid face. You were the worst.

When you arrived at the hotel at which the gala was being held, a fawning member of the staff showed you to a large ballroom. As soon as you entered, a waiter came by with a tray of wine and you immediately took one and downed it.

"Liquid courage?" you said sheepishly at Jin's amused grin, and he laughed, accepting two glasses from the waiter.

"Fair enough," he said, handing you the fresh drink. "Maybe pace yourself on this one though."

"Of course," you agreed, knowing he was right. This was definitely not the time or place to get black out drunk and cause a scene. The first glass was already doing its intended work, anyway, and you found yourself relaxing. You had been overthinking again. It wasn't as if you had any ulterior motives when you agreed to help him. This was just a silly crush. He was your friend first and foremost, someone you cared about for more than just frivolous reasons. You were an adult, you could suck it up and deal with it.

"Seokjin!"

A man and woman were making their way toward the two of you, and from the happy recognition on Jin's face you assumed these were his parents.

"Mom! Dad!" he said as he stepped forward to hug them, confirming your suspicions.

"This is [y/n]," he said when he returned to your side, placing a large hand on your waist. You tried not to melt into his touch, then remembered that you actually could.

"It's a pleasure to meet you," you said with a smile, holding out your hand to shake. To your surprise, his mother ignored it and instead pulled you into a warm hug.

"We were so excited when Seokjinnie said he was bringing a plus one," she said with the same gentle brown eyes as your not-boyfriend.

"It's true, he never even told us he was seeing anyone," his father said with a familiar smile, giving you a brief hug. Meeting the two of them, it was clear that he had inherited the perfect mixture of his parents' beauty and good nature.

"Ah, well, it's still a little new," you admitted, throwing Jin a shy smile that you wished was fake.

"Hands off my girl, appa," he joked, pulling you away from his parents and wrapping his arms around you from behind. He gave you a peck on the temple before resting his chin on your head - he was so tall - and you had never wanted to die more. You couldn't stop the flush creeping up your neck any more than the smile that threatened to overwhelm your face. You pulled away with more reluctance than you felt and turned to give him a mock glare.

"I'm not an object Jinnie, you can't own me," you scolded, hands on your hips. He just grinned and booped your nose. How dare he have the nerve to be this cute.

You suddenly felt a pang of irritation at the realization that he was driving you insane without even trying. Well, you might not be able to attract him in your own right, but you certainly knew how to fluster him. Your competitive side suddenly flared into life. Fuck it, you were going to fake-girlfriend the shit out of him.

And you did. As the two of you chatted with his parents, you twined yourself around him and in general acted like the most disgustingly adoring couple in the world. When people drifted over to greet the group - most often his parents, though a surprising amount knew Jin by name as well - you put on your most charming smile and laced your small talk with jokes and comments that were just saucy enough to be engaging while still mild enough to be appropriate. Wait, this was kind of fun. Why had you been freaking out so much again?

His parents truly were great, keeping up a spirited conversation even while Jin left to use the restroom, and you felt a little pang of guilt when his mother told you she was happy that her little boy had met such a lovely girl. You weren't sure if it was the minimal wine, or how much she clearly adored her son, but something about her warm, engaging air made you feel safe with her.

"I was actually a little worried about meeting you," you admitted. "Jin insisted that he was doing business out of his own volition and that you two never pressured him to do anything, but I didn't totally believe him."

By the way their mouths twisted wryly, this wasn't a surprise, so you hurried to finish your statement.

"But I can tell now that you two really care about him. I'm glad, because he really loves you two," you finished, looking down at your hands. You were a little embarrassed, but it was true - any feelings aside, you hadn't been able to dispel that niggling worry about your friend's happiness until you met his parents. Now that you met them, you wanted these kind people to know that Jin loved them just as much as they clearly loved him. Suddenly you found yourself being pulled into soft, perfumed arms again before his mother stepped away, sniffling slightly.

"I think you'll be really good for him," she said with a smile, dabbing at her eyes. His father nodded in agreement, grinning. You blushed in shame and shrugged. Lying to nice people was awful.

"Give it time, I could just be in it for the money," you joked, trying to lighten the conversation to something that didn't make you feel like a horrible person. She just smiled at you and shook her head, familiar brown eyes twinkling.

"A mother always knows."

~~~~~

You were a menace, Jin decided. He watched helplessly as you effortlessly won over not just his parents, but the other associates that had come to greet his father. Your anxiety from earlier in the week had clearly been completely unfounded, because you were thriving.

Everyone was utterly charmed, himself included, and he couldn't look away. He had known that you would be fine - you were intelligent, gorgeous, and witty, so he hadn't harbored any doubts that you could hold your own. But did you have to be quite this chatty and friendly with his dad's friends?

"Well, if Seokjin here is ever enough of a fool to break your heart, you know where to find me," one of them said in what Jin could tell was only half a joke. He narrowed his eyes at the man when you laughed, irritated that you were indulging some creepy man old enough to be your father. He was your fake boyfriend! You should be laughing at his jokes!

"That's very sweet of you," you said in flattered tones that only he could tell were fake, before throwing Jin a saccharine smile. "Jinnie is so good to me though, I don't think that would ever happen."

He hated how much he loved when you called him that, especially because he knew you were only doing it to get a reaction. And it worked every time.

"That's only because you're so perfect," he countered cheesily, internally snickering at the way you coughed to hide a snort. He tugged you closer into his side, only to make his mother smile and certainly not to put more distance between you and the old geezer making eyes at you. You smirked as if reading his mind.

"Something the matter, Jinnie?" you whispered wickedly, lips brushing the shell of his ear, and he just barely suppressed a shudder. Why did you have to say his name like that while pressed against him, all soft and pretty? He couldn't even complain, you were doing exactly what he had asked you to. The problem was that he was enjoying this a little too much, despite knowing that the two of you were just friends, and his brain was sounding alarm bells that he currently couldn't do anything about without ruining the act.

He had approved of you as a person as soon as he had met you. You had been nice, respectful, and hilariously candid even at the first meeting. When he and Namjoon had helped you move out of your old place, it had solidified his impression.

He had no doubts that you could have handled your (frankly pathetic) ex just fine by yourself, but the revolted expression on your face when the guy had tried to grab you had him moving before he realized it. And then you had turned the situation around in the most ridiculous and hilarious of ways, diffusing the tension before it had a chance to fully manifest. The more time passed, the more you had grown on him. On everyone, really. It was impossible not to like you, with your bright, genuine smiles and silly antics and little acts of consideration.

You were always ready to lend him a hand in the kitchen, whether it was to chop vegetables or just sit and keep him company, and were no slouch at cooking yourself. You had zero interest in his wealth, as was apparent with how reluctant you had been to let him buy you a simple gift. It had been cute to see how distressed you had been at the cost. You also thought his jokes were hilarious, which was a major point in your favor.

His parents were currently laughing at your imitation of Jin in the kitchen, and he was struck by how perfect everything felt. They clearly adored you, and you seemed to like them as well considering your smile went from plastic at sleazy businessmen, to genuinely happy when speaking to them. They were buying the act hook, line, and sinker, aided by the easy intimacy and comfort that had stemmed naturally by living together over the past few months. That was a little detail you had both agreed not to mention for obvious reasons.

He suddenly realized he was staring at you with a dopey grin, and when you met his eyes with that dazzling smile, the alarms in his brain gave one last feeble ding before going completely silent.

Oh shit.

~~~~~

Next | Masterlist

Tags: @singukieee @persphonesorchid @xmochiloverx @taestefully-in-luv @meavie @silscintilla @forpunishers

#bts x reader #bts fanfic #bts fluff #bts ot7 x reader #kim namjoon x reader #kim seokjin x reader #park jimin x reader #jeon jungkook x reader #min yoongi x reader #kim taehyung x reader #jung hoseok x reader

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mandalhoerian · 2 months

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bruh my comment was too long to post under the new chapter so i’m sending an ask. saw the ao3 notif and scheduled to read it this fine evening, good thing i was like “lemme scroll on tumblr and see what’s up” because SJFKDJLXBZB the face i made when i saw i was tagged and followed BY YOU? also ma’am 🤚🏻wdym nobody comments like i do. like what do you mean. i have a concerning relationship with receiving praise so i advise you to stfu (affectionately).

my poor girl vera can’t catch a break, loss after loss after loss in such a short period. i just want to give her lots and lots of hugs (consensually). on another note i love that she clocked ada’s intentions right away bc capcom wtf is that writing. one person taking down a whole organization is like sending only one person to save president’s kidnapped daughter (laugh track). let me tell you i have been waiting for this 🤌🏻 vera and ada interacting 🤌🏻 leon being there all charming and naive and trusting people easily 🤌🏻 shai you just get the dynamics of all the characters *so right* 🤌🏻

sorry for the excessive amount of parentheses and emojis let me just find another obnoxiously annoying emoji to spam about the intimacy between leon and vera. 🤧 it’s this one but i’m wiping my snot away from crying about it. the small touches between the two are so tender in this fucked up world 🤧 vera’s hand on his forearm… leon collecting her in his arms, comforting her 🤧 his arm on her shoulder 🤧 i could cry and get a headache from thinking about them. i’m so serious.

(gnawing at the bars of my enclosure) JILL VALENTINE MENTION???? VERA KNOWS HER? WHAT IS THE LORE? I NEED TO KNOW.

how does one end a delirious comment. uhhh. so yeah. i love nttd and vera so much and i’m so happy that it’s back babyyyy.

Ofc I followed!!!! I don't remember why I didn't in the first place like but like ???? ur making it sound like I'm some big shot but like pls im a loser who's writing oc fanfiction on the internet and is so lucky and grateful to get people invested in it!!!!! AND YES nobody comments like you do! You're the dream of a fanfiction author ON GOD. THANK YOU SO MUCH

ramble below to keep your dashboards clean:

I think we talked about this over on ao3 but honestly re2r's ada just doesn't make sense to me. The FBI cover is logical (when you first think about it), but the way she's immediately pulling a gun on Annette the minute they see her and DECLARING her intentions isn't. She then proceeds to reveal her target is Annette, and then her going with the FBI thing becomes less logical, bc why would Annette hand over the G-Virus sample to the feds, either? It's entirely a shock factor thing revolved around Leon, she's only fooling him -- or maybe, she's fooled Ben like this, too, and was forced to stick to her cover when shit went down, we don't know 😭 why did they do my girl ada like that... (ngl re4r ada supremacy. period.)

But either way, un-truths she would throw as a bone to a "civilian" like Leon would of course be caught by Vera, nugget by nugget, while still making her think "mayhaps the FBI is misinformed????" -- I didn't want to ruin that fine line by Ada going on about Annette making the virus and her being the most dangerous of all "g-virus g-virus g-virus" or whatever because 1) WHY WOULD A SPY DO THAT???? 2) it would surely make Vera go "yeah NOPE" 💀💀

it's so much fun for them to try sussing each other out, Light and L mind games over there while Leon is happily frolicking. not one thought behind those eyes 😭

ALSO LIKE YES THE TOUCHES!!!!!! It's Leon initiating all of them for me 👹👹👹 physical touch taking over when words can't. my favorite thing of all UGGHHHHHHHH THANK YOU FOR JOINING ME IN MY MISERY

ALSO totally not going "actually 🤓☝" as I'm saying this because it's been HALF A WHOLE YEAR + the fic is over 100K words -- Vera knows Jill from post!mansion incident - pre!outbreak, in that ephemeral "investigation" phase of Jill's. I do mention it in the fic that Vera supplies information to Jill (as around that time she's trying to get rid of the weight of all she knows and trying to pass on the "hero's job" to someone else) and they exchange their findings while trying to be careful not to get caught by ppl Umbrella put on Jill's tail. I think I wrote it in passing that Vera was disguised as a secretary and sat back-to-back with Jill on a booth in one of those occasions? She's loosely connected to re3r by having a brief appearance in carlos' police station section in my head, entrusting Jill to him and all and promising to meet up with them in the station once she talks to her dad about it ☹

"delirious comment" WDYM ITS MY LIFEBLOOD THANK YOU 😭

#an ask for shai

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cellsshapedlikestars · 1 year

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Since I’m already out here being obnoxious and posting a ton today, might as well go all in, right? So for those of you who voted for the mob AU to be updated... sorry! But I am working on it (and have been basically since I posted the first part lol), so here’s a little snippet for anyone interested.

**Be warned, it’s darker than the first part, because it’s from Jon’s POV and unlike Sansa, he wasn’t sheltered from the actual mob stuff. All tags/warnings from the original story apply here. Specific to this part: references to murder/violence.

“You're in trouble,” Dany taunts, a sing-song lilt to her voice.

“When am I not?” he asks. It takes all his willpower to keep his voice even and neutral. A lifetime of willpower. A lifetime of lessons beaten into him. His blood is still up from the encounter with Ramsay and everything in him screams for violence, but that's nothing new, and he's learned to contain his rage.

“So dramatic,” Dany snorts, but an unlit cigarette appears between her thin fingers and she offers it out to him. When he takes it, a lighter appears. Where she was keeping it with no sleeves, he has no idea.

It's cold out, but as usual, Dany's wearing less than she should. She runs hot, she always says. Blood of the dragon, and all. He does, too. Barely feels the cold half the time. He never says this, though. He's not allowed to have the dragon in him, not for real.

“How bad is it?” he asks after he's lit up and takes his first drag. The nicotine relaxes him, takes some of the edge off. He flexes his other fist and feels his busted knuckles split and start to bleed again. He hasn't even gotten a chance to bandage them properly.

“Well, you know daddy,” she says, taking a drag of her own cigarette with a lift of one perfectly sculpted brow. “He's ready to have you drawn and quartered.”

More like shot in the head and then weighted down with cinder blocks and thrown into the ocean, and that's if Aerys is feeling generous. If he isn't? Well, Jon's heard whispers about the ones Aerys has doused in gasoline and set on fire. Jon would rather have the clean shot to the head.

“What's new?” is what he says instead. He knows the only thing that's kept him alive all these years is his father's residual love for Jon's mother. Well, his father calls it love. Jon's not so sure.

Dany frowns, then, and says, “I was expecting you to tell me it wasn't actually true.” When he doesn't answer, her frown deepens. “Jon,” she says, voice tight with disbelief, “tell me you didn't go fucking around in Northern business.”

Jon drops the half finished cigarette on the gravel of the drive and doesn't even bother snuffing it out. It'll burn down on it's own. Or maybe it won't. Maybe it'll end up setting the whole estate on fire. Aerys would like that.

“Guess I shouldn't delay the inevitable,” he says, and makes for the entrance.

“Are you serious,” Dany hisses, catching up with him, though her legs are much shorter. “Jon,” she grabs his arm, and he sees the worry there now. Or, as much worry as anyone in this family can have for someone else.

He doesn't answer, just pulls from her grip and continues inside, because he doesn't know how to answer. Yes, he fucked around in Northern business. No, it had nothing to do with Northern business, but he can't think about that now. Won't think about that now.

He's spent years forcing himself not to think about her.

#jonsa

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nunlucky-novel · 3 months

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Prologue – Town Hall

It was a muggy summer day in June. A heavy rain had poured through, making the already hot day even worse than it was. The city council building had air conditioning, thankfully. It helped you forget the horrible, sticky heat of outside world.

To the casually dressed teenager sat at the desk, it was dreadfully boring. She was stuck doing this for a college credit, since she was a few points short for her GPA. To make up for it she’d be spending two months as the temporary secretary for City Hall. She huffed. She hated this, but she couldn’t pass up her opportunity to get into her dream college. “Ugh, I wonder what Stacy’s doing?” the girl said, frowning at her phone. She scrolled through her Instagram feed, the feeling of FOMO settling in. The girl continued to scroll mindlessly, not noticing a sharply dressed man walking into the waiting area.

He was wearing a fur coat, huge and dyed teal with flicks of gold, like some kind of rockstar. Underneath, a tailored suit, all dark reds and blacks and golds when it catches the light. His face was partially obscured by huge mirrored gold sunglasses, but none could miss a perfectly maintained pompadour. His heels clicked with some other gold accents, giving him a distinct, obnoxious step.

“So this is where Ricky’s been hiding, huh?” The man mumbled to himself. He slipped his sunglasses off, neatly folding them and stuffed them on the inside pocket of his ridiculously out of season coat. With those no longer obscuring his face, he was actually quite handsome.

He had a long pointed nose, reminding one of some exotic bird with his ridiculous outfit. His face was long, his chin ending in a point. You could say he had sharp features. His eyes were a pretty golden brown, but his stare was sharp and focused. He was tall, but not what you’d call lanky. He wasn’t muscley but not so scrawny. Fit could be the right word. He strode across the room towards the receptionist’s desk, looming over the teenager.

Noticing that her light was suddenly blocked, the girl looked up at him with a annoyed expression. “Uh, can I help you?” she asked, frowning. She was giving the bare minimum, enough so she wouldn’t screw this up and get kicked out. The taller gentleman leaned down, resting an elbow on the edge of the desk. The scent of his expensive cologne filled the girl’s air space. It burned her eyes, making them water. “I’d like tah talk with the mayor. He and I got some business to discuss.” He said grinning. His bleached white teeth were blinding the girl. One of his canines were gold. “Tell’em that Koda Dorado is here, kay kid?”

“Sorry sir, but Mr. Belle isn’t taking any non-appointments today.” The girl said, leaning back in the chair. She swiveled the chair to face the computer and wiggled the mouse. She clicked on the calendar app, scanning to see if he did have an appointment. Just in case.

“I’m not seeing your name on the calendar either, sir. If you’d like to make an appointment, I’d be glad to help you.” The young receptionist sighed. She was warned that people would try to shove their way into to see the mayor. At most, she just had to offer to make an appointment, which would be ignored, or offer up the suggestion box. Or just call security and have them thrown out.

“Listen-“ Koda glanced down at the girl’s name tag. “Listen, Joan. Me and the mayor, we go way back. He’s, uh, my great uncle, alright? So if you could just buzz me in or something, I could make it worth your while.”

Joan sneered, “Are you, like, trying to bribe me right now?!”

“Maybe. Depends on dah asking price, Doll-face.”

Joan pondered for a moment. It was glaringly obvious that this guy wasn’t the mayor’s nephew, and his determination to see him was incredibly annoying. She was inclined to call security to escort him out, thus wiping her hands of this man. Her hand slipped under the desk, preparing to tap the panic button. She paused when the doors leading towards the main office swung open with enough force to cause some damage to the henge. Koda and Joan both jumped in surprise, turning to see who it was. There stood a portly, middle-aged man in an unfashionable, out of style velvet suit, a very unseasonal black turtleneck underneath with plain brown loafers. His hair was thinning, turning from black to gray and slicked back with too much hair gel. He had a beard, neat and clean, with specks of white poking through. He wore six rings, five on his right hand and only one on his left. It was a surprise he got them on his fat sausage fingers. The man stared at Koda with contempt. Koda stared back with twisted grin.

Mayor Richard Bell had arrived. “Uncle Ricky!” Koda said, standing straight, voice full of faux excitement and happiness. He waltzed over to the man, arms open wide as if he was going to give the biggest bear hug. Acting like he hadn’t seen him in so long, a loving nephew who hasn’t seen his favorite uncle in so, so long. To anyone who didn’t know them, it’d be a heartwarming scene. But to the mayor, it was anything but. It was true that Mayor Bell had known Koda for a long time, but he wasn’t his nephew. He wasn’t related to him by blood, or any other direct familial ties. Koda was a demon. A demon plagued by the sin of Greed, on the hunt for his horn after losing it some 40 years ago. And Mayor Richard Bell was the angel who was responsible for the loss of the horn.

Koda hugged the mayor, squeezing him so tightly that it could have popped the poor man like one of those funny squeeze toys. The ones that squeak when you squeeze them. The mayor hugged him back, giving him a halfhearted pat on the back to keep up the charade. His aggravated expression probably gave away how he truly felt, however.

“What are you doing here?” Mayor Bell asked, tone curt and sharp. “What do you want?”

‘How did you fine me?’ was a question that went unsaid but written all over his face. Koda could sense what he was thinking. He had known “Richard” for years, under different aliases. But its one thing he could hide, and that was his contempt for the other.

Koda put on a hurt expression, placing his hand over his chest in false shock. “What could you possibly mean, Uncle Ricky? I just wanted to come by and see ya!” Koda flung an arm over the man’s shoulder, getting close to him. Mayor Richard knocked it away like some bug landed on him. “I mean it’s been a good, what? 10 years since we last spoke? I just wanted to catch up! For ol’ time’s sake…”

Mayor Richard scowled, “Fine. Let’s talk in my office.” He turned to Joan, who had been watching everything. She flinched, looking away embarrassed. He pointed a fat finger in her direction. “I’m on my lunch hour. Do not let anyone in and take calls for me. Thank you, Joan.” “Yeah, thanks Joan! I’ll leave ya a tip!” Koda cackled as he was led towards the Mayor’s office. Joan wasn’t going to receive that tip.

----------

Chapter 1 ---- > Chapter 3

#webnovel #nunlucky

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strangerhottotties · 2 years

Text

Punishments - E.M.

Summary: You and Eddie share an apartment. He kind of acts like an annoying kid brother and you have to pretend like your not head over heels for the goof. Today, however, is a tough day and you come home to him snooping in your room.

Warnings: a little angst?, dirty smut, 18+, minors dni, Virgin!Eddie (you don't know that yet), Eddie being a little perv, cockwarming, sex toys, everyone is aged up/ out of high school, teasing, sex punishments, pinv sex, tiddy play, sub!Eddie, dom!reader, uses of 'mama' in a sexual way.

I meant for this to be a drabble, just some thots, ya know?.... oops... also it's like 2 am n I'm dead tired. I'm sorry but I'm too lazy to do tags. I'll be better about it later. Good night.

Great. Just fan-fucking-tastic. The elevator was down now? Was anything ever going to go right for you today?

You kick the metal door with little effort, mostly just scraping the toe of your heel against it and feel like crying. The yellow caution tape strapped across it was enough. Nothing ever got fixed in this building so you doubted this one would take long.

Your head lolls to the side as you eye the door to the stairs. Your feet ached. You had a pounding migraine. You'd cried twice at work today, once from being yelled at by a horrible customer, the other because nothing went right. The copy machine broke half way through the day and not in the stopped-working way but the shit-ink-everywhere kind. Which lead to being reprimanded. Worse yet, you cracked your windshield on the way home in the wicked thunderstorm and nearly crashed when a tree narrowly missed your car.

All you wanted was a cup of tea (or a bottle of wine), to sneak one of your roommates pre-rolled joints, and to reacquaint yourself with the silicone friend that resided on your bedside table. The next best thing besides being fucked within an inch of your life.

A decent orgasm should help with the pounding in your skull though.

With a deep breath, you slipped out of your shoes and made your way into the dimly lit stairwell, praying for nothing else to go wrong.

Thankfully, Eddie had a gig tonight. Fortunate enough for you, you'd get the apartment to yourself until he was dragged in by Garrett and Jeff, usually too wasted to speak as he passed out on the couch or in his bed. You'd probably get a rude awakening a few hours later when he felt needy and climbed into your bed again, demanding like a petulant child to be held.

You don't know that you had it in you tonight. If anything, you wanted nothing more than your annoying (and shockingly sweet) roommate to hold you. A reoccurring wet dream lately it seemed.

How your messy, obnoxious, metalhead roommate had wormed his way into both your heart and subconscious, you had no clue.

The creepy, dirty stairwell made you second guess taking off your heels. But the truth was, you felt like your toes had been split apart already and the idea of walking bare foot up these suspiciously stained stairs was more appealing than actually putting those heels back on.

"God help me," you whimper to yourself before treading carefully up the stairs.

You made it up in one piece, however, only having to yank twice on the heavy door to get it to open.

It was half way down the hallway you heard the familiar sound of Black Sabbath blaring and your heart sank into your gut. "Fuuuuck," you whine as you unlock the front door. Eddie was undoubtedly home.

Throwing open the door, you take in the messy apartment and lack of your roommate in the immediate vicinity. "Eddie?" You call, creeping in.

No answer. Relief floods you. He must have just left the music on. You head towards the stereo system, happily just turning it down to a reasonable level.

Despite all of your protests, you didn't actually mind his taste in music. Some bands you actually liked, but you wouldn't tell him that.

Eagerly, you head towards your bedroom, ready to strip first and get off second. The moment the door swung open though you gasp in horror.

"I'm gonna fucking kill you."

"To be fair, I was looking for my more of my guitar picks that you always sneak." Eddie grins at you from where he's lounging on your pillows. He wiggles the bright pink vibrator at you as a greeting. "Pink is definitely your color."

Your bag drops from your shoulder and hits the top of your desk with a thump.

"Don't you have a job to do?" You snap at him, to exhausted to fight as your cheeks burn.

"Power went out at the bar, we got canceled for the night. This is kinda small don't you think? They make bigger ones." You roll your eyes at him.

"I haven't washed it, you know?" Your jab makes his eyes fly wide and he glances down. You half expect him to throw it, but he inspects it closer.

"So the last thing this touched was your pussy?"

"No," you chirp, irritated, "it was my asshole."

Shock plasters to his face. "Oh shit, are you serious?" he hums and much to your dismay, it stirs something low in your belly. Your taunts haven't had the right effect at all.

You finally move to the edge of your bed and snatch it from his hands. "No, you perv. Now get the fuck out." He seemed shocked by your sourness. It's not surprising, your demeanor usually sweet and shy. Sure, you liked to fuck with him every once and a while, but today, no.

Without waiting for a response you head to the bathroom to wash it.

"Wait," he calls after you and the bed squeals at his apparent moves to flip off the bed. You hear the thump when he hits the floor but have little energy to actually care. "Wait," he repeats upon appearing in the bathroom doorway, breathless and flustered.

"No." Your response is cold as you flip on the sink and grab soap.

"I really was looking for my guitar picks. It was just sitting right there on the side table and I've never actually seen one in person."

"So it gave you the right to go through my shit?" You snap.

"No," he grunts quietly. "I just... thought it was hot."

That short circuits your brain, frazzling out your anger beyond repair. You freeze with your hands under the water. Your eyes meet his dark ones in the mirror, red saturating his cheeks.

The silence stretches on uncomfortably for him as you just blink in disbelief at what he just admitted.

"Hot?" You finally squeak.

He nods vehemently, eyes huge.

You can't help it. The dirty thoughts stirring up your mind. The near violent urge to jump his bones. You don't even register your next words.

"Do you want to have sex with me?" Your eyes are narrowed on him in the mirror, watching his body language shift to something... shy? That was a rarity. He was suddenly very interested in his bare feet, fingers fidgeting.

"Would you hate me if I said 'yes'?" Flutters quietly out of his mouth. You can't help the sharp intake of your breath as you rinse the toy in the water.

"Strip. On my bed." Your order makes his eyes snap to you in the mirror. You see it barely in your peripheral as you duck your eyes back down, pretending to be nonchalant.

"What?" Comes his breathless reply.

"Just know," you sigh, frustrated, giving him a final opportunity to back out, "I'm gonna use you to get off."

The ruckus has you glancing up and you get a glimpse of him scrambling back towards your bedroom immediately. You can't suppress the grin on your face as he goes, it's adorable in a way. Shutting off the sink, you dry the toy on your own bath towel and then move towards your bedroom.

He glanced over his shoulder at you, shedding his flannel shirt. You meet his gaze head on, as you follow his lead, unbuttoning your own blouse. He's practically buzzing with excitement, no idea of the sweet torture you're about to inflict on him, it seems.

You watch him drag his tank off his back. He slows, dropping the fabric to the floor as your itchy, lacy bra is exposed to him. You were suddenly very happy with wearing the underwire, despite the ache you have from it. The way it further rounded your breasts, making them look fuller, heavier. His breathing stuttered and even with the dreadful day you had, you felt sexy.

He's popping his belt at the same time your unzipping your skirt. You may be more nude, but the way he's slowly shedding his layers makes this feel more sensual than you'd intended. You weren't going to complain about that. Not when you both had rising anticipation.

He was far less nervous than moments ago. Already buzzing with furious excitement.

His boxers fell away and your eyes met with the holy grail of cock. Your eyes widen and you felt your mouth water when his erection bobs into the air for you. He was already fully hard and you hadnt even done anything to him yet. "Whacha say? Will that do for you?" He chirps, as if the eager way your chest rose wasn't answer enough.

"That'll definitely do," you hum, striding forward. He grins. You're heart threatens to stop when he lunges for you, sealing his mouth to yours in a soft, lingering kiss that last just a moment before he's landing himself where he was just minutes ago.

You reach up, more than happy to discard your bra with the rest of your things.

Should you be fucking your roommate? Absolutely not. The hellish day you had made you want to be vengeful. And vengeful you'd be.

Eddie practically vibrated as lace pulled away, then he frowned at your relief. "It left imprints?" He hums. "Do they hurt?" His sweetness made you want to soften with him for a moment but you wouldn't relent.

"No speaking unless spoken to." Your next order is barked. He snaps his jaw closed and nods once as affirmation. "Good boy."

Oh, the way his eyes blaze with need.

Deciding to further tease him, your panties slide down your thighs painfully slow. His dark eyes are honed into your pussy regardless. "I'm going to punish you, got it?" He nods again, this time vehemently as you climb up over him, toy still in hand. "You're not gonna cum until I say so, understood, Eddie?"

"Yes," he replies.

"Yes, what?" You urge, curious to know now that you hover naked it his lap.

"Yes, mama."

That sparks something inside you. Your brain fried. Then you can't help lining yourself up with him and he's shaking, hands snapping to your hips. Not guiding, not pushing, just holding and stroking circles with his thumbs and it feels so nice you let him. How can you stop him?

"What do you say?" You tease him, sinking to slide him through the outer wetness of your lips. His head launches back into the pillows as he gives a strangled cry that makes you throb.

"Please, mama! Please! Please! Please! Pleeee- UHHHHH! FUCK!" He quakes when you sink your pulsing cunt down on top of him, moaning with him as he stretches you out harshly. His whole body arched up off the bed, seating himself in as deep as he could go. His sob of pleasure nearly had you coming on the spot. This torture wouldn't last long for you, not with him twitching wildly inside you.

He sinks back against the pillows for a moment, panting. You sink onto him as he does.

"I'm...," you start breathlessly, "I'm gonna... come around you. This is gonna be your punishment for going through my shit, got it?"

"Yes, mama. Yes, mama. Yes, mamaaaaa." He shivered below you as you flexed your walls around him, eyes rolling back into his skull.

He looked so pretty when he was desperate. His hands fumbled over your thighs and waist. And only because your breasts ached, you snatched his hands up and pressed them against them with a whine of your own. His hands barely fit around your tender breast, as he massaged and lifted them for you. It eased the pain in them, especially when he brushed his thumbs over your nipples.

You hum out in relief.

His quiet noises capture your attention. Glancing down to see his eyebrows knitted up and together. "You feel so good. So soft. So fucking wet," he whines and it makes you shiver.

"Mmm. About to be even wetter," you reply and lean back enough to turn on the toy and nestle it in the perfect spot against you. His lip got pulled harshly between his teeth as a long whine left his lips, no doubt feeling the toy vibrate with you.

Maybe you were a bad dom, not sticking to your rules, but how could you when he looked so pretty like this. Made you cock drunk already.

You adjust the setting, hips widening and thighs tightening. This was it. "Thought..." he starts "thought you were gonna use me?" It's not a taunt. Just confusion. You can see in the way his face bunches as he squirms with discomfort below you.

"Oh, pretty boy," you coo, at him, "I am using you. You're gonna lay there and give me what I need and what I need is something to cum around, got it?" He whimpers, face crumbling with devastation and in a tiny voice that threatens to destroy you completely, he replies.

"Yes, mama."

If he begged you right now, there isn't a doubt in your mind that you'd give him exactly what he needed. His normal back talk with you washed away to whiney neediness. It was stunning.

You're already so close as you lean back, desperate to cum yourself. Desperate to feel that release you've been craving all day. Desperate to know what if feels like to come on his cock, especially when you leaned back and braced yourself on his thigh, making the head of his cock nudge a spot deep inside.

You couldn't wait to actually ride- wait, no! This is a punishment, you remind yourself.

Turning it to your favorite setting, you press the vibrator hard against your clit and feel your legs shake. Eddie is reduced to a trembling moaning mess as you flutter around him. You can see the effort it's taking for him to hold back, hips twitching and face contorting. His mouth hangs open and you can't help but lean forward, pinning the vibrator between you both as you cradle his face in your hands.

He shaved today, his skin smooth. And you rock against him just a bit. The vibrator is nearly to much at this angle, nearly pressed completely against him. Rocking slight to roll it to the right spot left you jerking back with oversensativity and it made tears well in your eyes.

Your arms tremble to hold you up when your hands snap to your bedspread. It nearly felt like you were already cumming as you pressed yourself against him. You were an unintentional mess on top of him, moaning loudly and nearly sobbing as you finally duck your face against his neck.

"Please, please, please," he whimpers. "Pleeeeease cum, mama, gotta feel you. I need it. I need it so fucking bad, please cum, please, your pussy's so hot around me I can't take it, pleeeease." And there's the begging that finally sets you off as he mutters it against the apex of your neck, arms secured down your back. Hands locked on the globes of your ass to press you harder against him.

Normally, you'd cum by now. Normally, that band in your belly would snap but your orgasm just kept building more, and more. Your brain was aware that you were certainly in for it and when it did snap you were going to be utterly ruined.

"I'm so close, Eddie," you manage to sob.

He bucks into harshly then and it's over.

You cum, hard. Soaking everything between you with sticky cum as your pussy weeps around his cock. Eddie arches, crying out, you hear his palm slamming into the wall as explitives shutter out of him mouth. His babble distant to your ears as you have to snatch the toy out from between the two of you.

It takes a few minutes of both of you twitching before you can even sit up. It makes him hiss as his still-hard cock rubs inside you. You're oversensative and want to jerk away when he bucks slightly into you.

You pant as you look down at his tear streaked face, pink flushed cheeks and trembling lip. "Baby," you hum softly, reaching up to stroke his face. "You okay?"

It takes him a moment to gain his bearings. "Hell of a first time," he finally croaks out. It sobers you immediately and you snatch his face into your hands, forcing him to look at you.

"Eddie," you demand, utterly horrified, "did I just... take your virginity?"

"First kiss, too," he whispers, looking so vulnerable. You sit up right, hand fluttering over your mouth in utter mortification.

"Eddie," you sigh, frustrated, "you should have told me."

"But... you wouldn't have fucked me." Your heart nearly shatters at his pitiful expression.

"Baby, you deserve so much more than that," you mutter and before he can start crying more, because you can see those alligator tears rising in his eyes, you pull off him and roll onto your back, holding yourself open for him. He whimpered. "Come here."

And then Eddie's on you, burying his wet face in your neck as you wrap yourself around him. He shutters. "Can I?"

"Yes," you bless. It's tender as he adjusts himself and he sobs as he sinks back inside of you. Your breath hitches and you moan as he hits the end of you and pushes past it. He whimpers your name.

"I need... I need to-"

"Take what you need, Eddie." He shivers and draws back. It hurts a little when he jams back in but it's well worth it. It's just because he's so big and he's grinding himself as deep as he can. He's a mess on top of you, clinging desperately to you as you press kisses to any part of him you can reach.

He rocks into you only a hand full of times, desperately babbling. "Pussy s'wet. S'tight.. wet 'n tight, wet 'n tight, s'wet 'n tight, 'm gonna cum." His words are slurring like he's wasted. "Can I cum? Can I, oh, please, mama." And it hit you how much he must love this.

Always a perv. The idea makes you smile.

"Cum in me, pretty boy."

A sound tears out him so harshly as he rams himself into you as furiously as you can that you clench around him. It's not even a shout, it's a wail as he locks up and presses as deep as he absolutely can. He stills and you can feel the pulsing inside you, the dirty feeling of his cum filling you like this.

He slumps against you, both of you panting wildly. You think he's going to lift off you, but he only adjust enough that he nestle himself between your breasts, pressing his head against you. "Sorry," he murmurs, "was too quick." You can feel his breath panting against you.

"In case you forgot," you tease lightly, feeling like sunshine beneath him, "I came before you did."

He giggles goofily. Then you both gasp when he slides out, you feel his cum leaking out behind it. Then he leans down and latches on a nipple, suckling on it, eyes sliding shut.

"Nn, Eddie, you're gonna make me horny again," you whine weakly.

"I've got fingers and a mouth," he offers eagerly, eyes lighting up. It makes you smile, especially when his cock twitches against your leg.

"Get up here and kiss me, please." And you can see the way he melts into you. His nose bumps yours affectionately before he presses his mouth against yours fiercely. It's sloppy, inexperienced, but wonderful all at the same time.

"I love you," him grunts against your mouth. It's muffled but it makes your heart sing.

"I love you, Eddie," you hum back, nearly crushing him against you.

Not how you expected your night to go, but certainly it was making up for the tremendously awful day you'd had.

#eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson fics #stranger things #eddie munson stranger things #eddie munson x you #eddie munson smut #eddie my beloved

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