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#sort them out on your own time.
puppyeared · 10 months
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personal character design headcanons + brainrot
Note: the re-bound!au does NOT belong to me, it belongs to @chipper-smol I’m just not normal about it lol
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#I SAY PERSONAL BC ITS MY OWN SPIN ON IT. NOT CHIPPERS CANON UNLESS THEY DECIDE TO OR NOT YOU HEAR ME /LH#I made a banner and everything this time. PLWEASE send them your questions not me JAJFHDSF#I thought it would be cool if macaque has two separate forms as a shadow and inside a mindscape. like I wanted his shadow form to reflect#him in his prime and then the mindscape form as what he looked like when he died. or a more vulnerable state at least#based on LBD appearing to MK as the ivory lady when she died in the S3 special. I don’t know exactly what it was but my first thought seein#the white void was she was appearing to MK in his mindscape to talk to him. so I built on that#I wanted to give him a more ‘Smokey’ look as a shadow just based on how he manipulates them in the show like in shadow play. I hope this#makes it look cool and immaterial. and then his mindscape form would be more battered up and tangible#the last couple images are chippers ideas though since they said the monkeys are drawn to MK when macaque is possessing him lol#and the fact that macaque doesn’t have any senses unless he’s possessing someone + literally sniffing out wukong in the scroll 🤨📸#I also have a vivid image of macaque moving from the mindscape to physical form like umm. kind of like when he passes the boundary between#physical and spirit/mind(?) it’s like the shadow covers him like ink. or pulling Saran Wrap over your face and it clings to your skin#so it kind of makes the shadow seem like a sort of shell or covering.. and I love the idea of MK meeting macaque in the mindscape for the#first time too. like the moment mac rescues him from LBD and MK sees him all battered and tired looking brooooooo#I’m not even sure if that would count as a mindscape but it rattles around in my brain like loose marbles#god I fucking love this au. gives me imagination fuel swear to god#my art#doodles#lmk#Lego Monkie kid#Monkie kid#lmk au#re-bound!au#rebound au#lmk sun wukong#lmk swk#lmk macaque#lmk six eared macaque#lmk mk#lmk xiaotian
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Hi, I hope you don't mind this message, and idk if anyone else has told you, but there's this troll going around on Tumblr named @/freethepuppet. They claim to be “fighting for justice in the puppet industry”, but really they're just sending hateful and threatening messages to Welcome Home and My Friendly Neighborhood artists/fans.
I myself have receive multiple death threats from this person, and they have sent threats to many of my friends over the matter, some of which are minors.
Because of this issue, I have decided to keep myself and my friends anonymous, especially considering the fact that @/freethepuppet intends to send threats to PartyCoffin himself, along with the creator behind My Friendly Neighborhood.
I just wanted to warn you about this person, so that you can block and report them, as well has tell others in the community about the troll. If you decide to ignore this, then that's fair and I respect your decision.
In any case, I hope you and your friends stay safe. Best of luck!!
blocked! thanks for letting me know! to add on to this, a little advice for everyone:
Don't Engage With This Person At All!
Don't Look At Their Stuff, Don't Respond To Messages, Don't @ Them Or Give Them The Time Of Day. Just Go Block Them And Let Them Exhaust Their Own Hate
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xxxemogrrlxxx · 7 months
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insert really smart comment here that makes you go "wow that was really smart i like this guy"
his note i wrote under the cut
Dear Betty,
Firstly I want to thank you, for everything. All your sacrifices, your wishes, your love and care. I wont let them go unnoticed any longer. I was a fool, blinded by my own blissful ignorance. You were my princess but i failed as your hero. This experience has opened up my eyes, made me realize things I should have seen sooner. Its silly really, I cared so much for you that I ended up hurting you. I am forever sorry for the pain i’ve caused. I wont let you down again, I don’t think you’ll let me.
I will live every day to the fullest, for you but especially for myself. You’ve shown me I deserve to live, and I’m going to. I have daughters, both capable and intelligent. I have a family, I can no longer waste my life away, I am not alone. Thank you, for helping me realize that. Love, Simon
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thatonegayship · 6 months
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I loved the cowboy comic so much that I wrote a oneshot for it. https://archiveofourown.org/works/50934235 🥺 your art is BEYOND amazing, ty for the food
INCREDIBLE!!!!!
#billdip#I honestly loved this story start to finish with the ambience and quick pace#hadn't considered the possibility of Bill and Dipper actually working *together* but it's always a good time when they do ❤️#sorry it took so long to reblog 🥲#I read it like- Right when you posted. But I had to catch a plane and then drive an extra hour home and immediately get on zoom for class#and today i was just all around exhausted so i slept roughly 70% of the entire day dndsjdndnd#all that to say that I had your fic in the back of my mind and I very much wanted to set some time aside and re-read it when I got the chan#honestly with how well you set things up I would've loved to see your own rendition of their first kiss#You established their relationship really well at the start and brought them together by the end after outsmsrtong those bandits#it feels like you have a better understanding of who they are to each other than even i do 😌 very much a fan#i love when stories incorporate those sort of 'habits' that the love interests fall into#that confuses character A while character B is so clearly using it as an excuse to get close and spend more time with them#i squealed like a maniac when Bill was like oooph lemme walk you home 😏🤠#sir i am going to wrangle you up if you don't compose yourself#and Dipper's just wary of him because people as handsome as bill used to pick on him 😢#little does he know he's grown into a 10/10 cutie patootie that any cowboy would be stupid NOT to smooch#I'm a simple man. I read oblivious low-confidence cowboy being pursued by a hottie on a horse. I lose my shit#Awesome wonderful writing!!! so happy to have caught your eye and i hope to continue pumping out content for this wonderfully weird ship
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beanghostprincess · 2 months
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God the idea of “every girls uncle ever”!Buggy is tickling me pink because of Crossguild and just how funny would it be to have Mihawk, who has a soft spot for Perona, much to his own dismay, suddenly having to be cordial to Buggy because his not quite adoptive daughter saw this weirdass clown ONCE and immediately decided that he’s her personal comfort older man? Mihawk sipping some wine while staring over the at the two disapprovingly, Perona getting Buggy involved in some bullshittery and Buggy being in hell, because I refuse to believe that even if he loves that girl to pieces he wouldn’t suffer every second he’s near her, but….. he cant do shit. He would absolutely LOVE to tell the clown what a pathetic excuse of an emperor is, getting bossed around by a teenage girl and her parade of misery ghosts…. but that would be a step to far for Perona who would immediately jump to Buggys defense and also be incredibly insulted herself. Mihawk would LOVE to bring his blade to Buggys neck as a warning for that little joke he made earlier at his expense, but Perona was laughing so hard she started to snort and he cant just do that right now for … some reason. He will drag Buggy away from makeup time to get actual work done, because he knows the only thing he will get from Perona is a pout and that she will call him a spoilsport, but his methods of intimidation towards the clown are starting to dwindle more and more rapidly.
This is incredible because I imagine Mihawk being extremely conflicted about his feelings for both of them. He cares about Perona, weirdly enough, and he isn't quite sure why, but he does. And on the other hand, he's kind of pissed she chooses to be with Buggy instead because that man is a fucking clown (derogatory) and doesn't understand why she'd be interested in him in any way. But he can't go against Perona's wishes because it's not like he's her father or, whatever- So he sits there trying to understand why he feels this way and trying to fight hard the urge of, you know, actually caring for somebody. But he does understand why they get along. They're both... Flashy. Flamboyant. He hates every second of it.
Buggy, despite absolutely adoring the menace Perona is, is still exhausted after being dragged around to every little one of her schemes. He has to suffer the consequences (spending time with her) of his actions (telling her he liked her once). She adores him and finds him incredibly interesting to be around because, well, he is the most interesting out of the three Cross Guild members. Also, she's always so harsh on him saying he's a loser and a depressed clown who needs comfort because I think the same thing that happened with Usopp (not being affected by her powers because of already vivid self-deprecating thoughts) would happen to Buggy. So she feels responsible for his happiness, kind of. She's actually a sweetheart.
It'd be really funny to turn this into something romantic between Buggy and Mihawk. Make it Bughawk. Turn Mihawk's fondness for Perona into a fondness for Buggy, somehow, and Crocodile notices he's been acting a bit softer around the clown lately. The funny thing about this is that Mihawk actively has no fucking idea why he's now so... Interested in not hurting Buggy. Seeing Perona and the clown together makes him feel things. He hates it. Make it stop.
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idk if this is still the case but when i was really In It in animorphs feelings a couple years ago because i was unemployed for the first time in my adult life / temporarily living alone in the last house my family lived in / freaking out about climate change / generally Going Through It, and like poking around the animorphs scene on tumblr, there was this notion commonly expressed that rachel and tobias were "toxic," the major piece of evidence for which was the scene in 33 where she "tries to trap him in human morph." which like first of all i'm SOOOOOO SORRRY that the fucking fifteen-year-olds secretly fighting a guerrilla war in which their greatest threat is the mind-controlling slugs they're trying to save humanity from but their second greatest threat is the diminishing hourglass of their collective sanity as they all have to work steadily harder and more desperately to not just completely lose their shit entirely from all the violence and literal 24/7 constant threat and murder that is happening, like i'm sorry two literal children who have managed in this ongoing horror show to forge a bond of loyalty and affection and care and attraction and understanding that can act as a kind of solace neither of them have any other way to access, sorry those actual murder babies sometimes have some communication problems. lmao. but also it's insane to me that people read that scene (in which they're dancing to, i'm not making this up, iris by the goo goo dolls - i mean they don't tell us the song but it's a slow goo goo dolls number that even tobias knows, so - they're dancing to iris by the goo goo dolls at a school dance that is not going well because they are both awkward about the newfound public Officialness of their relationship and rachel who is the only one of them who has ever been capable of socializing like a normal person is in a particularly bad mood because of the emotional hangover of her starfish adventure [great concept executed terribly in the previous book], and then like after two entire minutes of letting himself feel some nice emotions tobias spots the clock and starts leaving to go demorph and then rachel runs after to him to awkwardly attempt to share that she is very fucked up about how insane she has become and she wants to hold on to things like school dances and also this is all happening in a hallway by a student poster on red tailed hawks that states their lifespan of a handful of years in the wild, it's so good) as rachel trying to trap tobias in morph, when like, first of all, "good thing happening -> time to punish myself for feeling nice for 5 whole seconds " is like THEE tobias thought pattern because he's the number one kidlit trauma baby of all time, like truly the first time i dove back into the series i was struck by how well his narrative voice captures Child Of Insane Family Dysfunctionality, he is NOT a reliable narrator on this, but also second, and more saliently, like, believing this scene is rachel attempting to trap tobias in morph requires that you believe rachel, all by herself, made a plan in advance and then attempted to execute it, which is a skill we literally never see her demonstrate even one fucking time outside of the comfortingly familiar hunting ground of the mall
#animorphs#i have a hard visceral aversion to personally adopting ADHD headcanons in general#(you do you idc about people's headcanons but like#this is one that reliably does not do it for me [person with ADHD] and which also often makes me feel weird for vague reasons#but again like this is not an Argument or a Criticism have your fun it's simply not for me)#BUT. someone once said they headcanon rachel as ADHD.#and that is... the ONLY time i have ever read that and been like 'oh wow no okay yeah that tracks'#which honestly thinking on it now i feel like sort of helps me articulate why i'm usually like 'her?'#bc i feel like i tend to see it as like 'this would be cute/relatable/fun to project on to' (you do you not for me)#or i see it based on like... a perception of general ADHD Vibes#which like. on the one hand i get. there can be Vibes. there's a reason the set of people i Enjoy A Lot has ADHD overrepresented on it.#but personally i am like. but where are the scenes of them ruining their own life for reasons attributable to ADHD traits#i don't personally get anything out of lumping people into a DSM category with me if they are not also constantly ruining their own lives#like i can just relate to them because we have similar Vibes. that's plenty.#but rachel.................#the scenes of rachel constantly ruining her own life because of her inability to think for 5 seconds before speaking or acting ever. like.#that's in every book rachel ever has#she literally has a line at one point like 'i don't know why i say these things. they just pop out of my stupid mouth.' girl same...#anyway. speaking of ADHD. i have GOT to stop letting myself 'just check tumblr a little bit' while i'm waiting for the adderall to hit
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magpie-trove · 9 days
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selkiecoded · 4 months
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to meee :3 akechi and sumire arent exactly friends throughout january, (they only get really close several years later) but as a side effect of neither having anything better to do and the two constantly haunting kichijoji i think they inevitably fall together more often than not. ren takes sumire out for darts and shes weirdly better than she was last time (sidebar but the fact that sumire and akechi both mimic your throws but sumire sucks shit at darts too much for it to do any good is so cute) and shes like oh yeah akechi-san has been teaching me. oh wow i got a forty! unaware of the way she just blew rens mind.
#the clock chimes at midnight#its not all about you ren!!!!!#sidebar to the sidebar. of course sumire imitates your dart throws. of course.#again theyre too busy fighting for their respective lives in the time loop to actually become friends in january#but i do think in the years before meeting again they think of the time with fond bittersweetness of what couldve been.#theyre not really going out together but more mutually keeping each other company lol. its generally a pretty quiet affair.#sumire doesnt really ask him for advice as she puts herself back together (he tends to get acerbic if she tries)#but he can be a pretty decent sounding board for either really simple (red or blue glasses)#or really philosophical (do you think my time as kasumi irrevocably changed who i am and if so am i still sumire) questions.#he does not tell her anything concrete about why the other thieves are so tense with him and she doesnt ask outright#but she able to glean a bit more about him through these discussions. and sadly for both of them they both actually sort of like each other#they get food. play darts. practice mementos on their own a few times (THEY GET A SHOWTIME STOP LYING TO ME!!).#and i sort of think akechi smokes either hes always done it or very recently picked it up now that he no longer needs to be personable#and sumires like well. im going to remain myself but i still want to do smth self-destructive. smoke me up man.#(also all her clothes smell like kasumi and its freaking her out. she doesnt mind smelling bad if itll distinguish her.)#idk. akesumi smiles gently.
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toastsnaffler · 6 months
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sometimes I wish I was a more interesting + charismatic person just so I could keep conversations going bc I like sharing space with other ppl but they routinely lose all interest and leave once I run out of things to say/start talking abt things that don't concern them :-(
#and boy do I run out of things to say so fast when I'm talking to friends who ik dont give a fuck abt any of my interests...#theres only so much i can make small talk or ask them questions abt their own interests/lives yknow. man#it just makes me feel like im constantly competing with smth else for other ppls attention all the time + constantly losing#eg. when i say smth + my flatmate reaches for her headphones a little dark souls banner appears across my vision like INTERACTION FAILED#and i can feel my rsd + insecurities praying on it like the more i feel this way the more it prophetically fulfils itself#by making me less willing to try and take up space so i become a smaller and smaller person around others#it frustrates me a lot sometimes and i dont rly have the will rn to undo that and force myself to take up more space regardless#ik this sounds like a water is wet complaint like oh nooo woe is me people get bored of me when i talk abt boring things (!!)#but when im spending time w ppl i like i enjoy listening to them talk even if im not interested in the subject bc its Them talking#and if they care abt smth then its worth hearing abt!! to me anyway. but it rly feels like no one reciprocates that idk#oh well not that it matters. at least i like the shit im into so i can talk to myself abt it in my head or on this site lmao#and i like myself as a person even if other people dont so theres always that. ur no 1 should always be urself <3#voicing this makes me feel so stupid + embarrassed urgh. i hate being anxious abt dumb shit i hate being the sort of person who worries#that their friends privately dislike/just tolerate them or whatever bc id never want a friend to worry abt whether i thought that abt them#and im not naturally a very insecure person!! i think im just feeling particularly vulnerable atm bc of the season + jobhunting so long#+ the fact im dissatisfied with my current social life + still feel very wobbly from not having other ppl i can trust or rely on etcetcetc#and thats just bleeding into other areas. and it sucks a lot. but theres nothing to be done abt it rn bc im not going to communicate it#to other ppl bc im not pathetic enough to make my anxieties someone elses problem + beg for pity attention im too proud for that 👍#anyway. gonna play some noita + then i rly need to work out today bc thats probs part of why im feeling so shite#if ur reading this ignore me im just venting itll pass. i hope youre having a nice day :^)#.vent#.diaries
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ablazeinhim · 5 months
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feeling like such a loser lately and like is it the winter or is the introversion or is it the disability???
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tswwwit · 2 years
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Who are dipper's parents in this au?
They're parents! And arguably, not the best ones ever - they've been mostly out of the picture since the twin's magic showed up, which is when they were sent to Stan.
They don't have any names in canon, so I've never come up with any for them either!
#I still would like to get to a 'Dipper sees his parents for like the fourth time in 9 years' fic#But that will happen after Confessing It ends#answers#Magical puberty is like ten times more arson-y than regular puberty#But it's still a shitty excuse for ditching your kids with your one reliable (?) magical relative#There's probably some meat on the bones on Stan's experience of this too#Going from 'oh hey. Children in my home. Guess I better show 'em the ropes'#To 'Hey summer's almost over when are you picking em up' while also going 'aw man I'll miss these kids'#To 'what do you *mean* you aren't picking them up'#To flashbacks to Stan and Ford's OWN shitty childhood#To probably standing in the doorway checking in on these kids as they slept#Taking in the enormity of the task#Holy crap these are two whole human children in his 'care' such as it is what the hell does he do with that#A terror in Stan's heart as he realized *he* was gonna be the main influence in their lives until someone else took over#(Spoiler: Nobody else took over)#And staying up all night trying to figure out how to spin an extended stay in Oregon as a 'fun idea right???'#Telling himself 'C'mon Stan the parents just panicked it's not like either of the twins have really dangerous magic'#'You get 'em settled into their stuff and it'll all be sorted out in a few months'#Bless you Stan you were not at ALL prepared for this#But you did way way *way* better than anyone - including Ford - expected#Demon marriage not withstanding and even that worked out incredibly well due to your influence#Dipper definitely thinks of him as 'Dad' somewhere deep inside his mind#Bill instantly clued into the paternal relationship but hasn't seen a reason to bring it up#It's all human drama whatever#No skin off his nose
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kindaorangey · 8 months
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truly cannot explain the connection i have to the 1975's music. yes some of it is nostalgia but i genuinely do not have any other artist that has interested and confused and irritated and saddened and endeared me so much all at the same time and i do mean that about the music itself rather than about the band members. i've spent so much of my life listening to them and they cover so much ground while also having so much terrible samey shit that i wind up loving anyway. i'm so done with matty healy but i will not be able to let go of this music without giving it a proper sendoff, y'know.
#thunder rambles#n its not even the thing people have with like mcr or tøp where the music gave me something to hold onto through a rough time#ive just loved it in so many different ways and for reasons that have changed over the years like.#i know i sound like i drank the kool aid. im working on it#edit: i have some more soppy sincere things to say about why i love their music so much#it's for the same reason i don't think i'll ever love someone exactly the way i loved the friend i had in year 8#to love someone just because they're there at a point of naievete in your life#i got into the 1975 because my toxic best friend whom i had a crush on said i had to like them#and also because their first two albums are sooooo geared towards 14 y/os in terms of sound#but then abiior came out. and i didnt like the singles. and then i came back to it and i fell in love with it.#it's just so weird to simultaneously love something for nostalgic reasons and from just appreciating good art#like its all shitty nostalgia bait. but it's also genius in its conception. but also not all the concepts work in execution. but also the#raw unpolished shittiness of those things are compelling in their own way.#basically basically. i cant get over the way their music grew up with me. and also im a sucker for any art that has something to say#about the digital age#i sort of love their music like i love my siblings lol. like i have always loved my siblings even when my relationship to them is miserable.#i grew up and around you i cant exactly extract you from who i am
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lucalicatteart · 1 year
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Poll adventure (paventure? lol) Day 8: !!NOTE: this is different from the past polls - rather than choosing a story action, you're picking supplies to craft a little makeshift boat (EX: wood will be the main platform, so there should likely be the most of it, however, if there were 100% votes for branches and 0% votes for rope, then it'd just be a pile of wood held together by nothing - keep them balanced reasonably, etc.))
(✦ see past poll results + further information HERE (link) ✦)
The winning option of yesterday's poll was that the adventurer should get around the barrier by crafting a little boat to take a river detour….
~
Finally crawling out of his hiding spot in the brambles, he meticulously brushes the leaves from his clothes and composes himself, now fully focused on his generic traveler's map of the area... After checking it about 500 times just to make sure he isn't confused, he determines that going down the nearby river would likely still get him where he's trying to go, and hopefully be much less treacherous than wandering through haunted forests or confronting the stern gaze of the barrier guards..
It only takes about 10 minutes of following a narrower rocky path off the main road to reach a nice shaded spot of land next to a small river. He kneels in the grass, eagerly rummaging through his backpack for supplies, in addition to whatever he can scavenge from the edge of the woods. The rush of excitement slowly dissipates however, once he realizes that he.. actually.. might not know how to make a raft as well as he thought... Surely it's quite straightforward, no? Just.. make it look like it does in picture books?? There are no rules, as long as it floats, it works! Probably anyone could build one on intuition alone! ... maybe...???
.. Once again sinking into a cloud of anxiety, he slumps over, staring at the pile of materials with teary eyes, doubtful what to even do next.... How should he build the raft? Help him by using the poll to choose the appropriate amounts of materials (determined by final % of votes in that category)!
#paventure posting#polls#choose your own adventure#Hopefulyl this isnt confusing or anything?? I know it's different than the other ones. and I wont do them this way#very often or maybe not ever again. I just wanted something that was really short and easy since the last two has#*had such long explanation text and more effort going into like what different paths there could be and etc.#Since before I add a poll option I make sure that it's something that could actually be followed to it's logical conclusion and like#actually happen (like I didn't include 'fight the guards' in the last poll because obviously just realistically he would lose#and be sent to whatever this worlds version of jail is and then probably the story would end lol. It could then become about#strategizing a way to break him out like.. obviously you can still do something with that and it can still be interesting lol. but I just#mean it kind of derails things a little too heavily. if that makes sense. etc. etc.). But becaue I've been busier lately and since#the last ones were more detailed I just wanted to think of like.. a really quick goofy one with simple choices#So instead of dictating new story paths - for this time it's just .. help him build his raft that he needs to complete the last story#path that was chosen. By picking an option you're kind of adding to the amount of that option being done#if that makes sense. so for example if at the end of the poll it was 100% votes for flowers - he would just have a pile of flowers#with no raft or anything. If it was 100% wood - he would just have a pile of tree branches held together with nothing#etc. etc. Ideal measurements are probably at least over 50% wooden branches. and whatever of anything else.#As long as there's also rope lol. 50% branches and 50% flowers still wouldn't be anything really jhhj#ANYWAY..#Though it could go wrong I'm actually not expecting some sort of weird result. most people have voted very reasonably so far#and are not like trying to sabotage him or anything or choose the weirder choices. Like last time there werent that many#votes for sneaking around the barrier or trying to bribe the guards. I think people chose stuff they thought he could reasonably do#Maybe they want to see him and the little cat succeed in their endeavors#Though there was one person who reblogged a poll once saying something like 'everyone lets make him EVIL!'#which is also valid lol
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gibbearish · 15 days
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yknow what bugs me is when ppls criticism of YA media boils down to them just not knowing how teenage crushes work
#'bella being depressed because edward wasnt at school is unhealthy obsession' no that's called having a crush#'him asking her out by them hearing a rumor saying theyre dating and bella going 'what should i say' +him responding 'well i guess you could#tell them yes. yknow just because its easier' is lame and boring' are you kidding me i ate that shit up at that age#when two shy awkward people flirt thats how you end up in a relationship is you both kind of just sidle your way up to it#and i dont even feel like that one contributes to like 'things abt him that arent necessarily red flags on their own but as a whole point to#bad things' like. from what i gathered feom the movie bella did not seem like the type to like some big first move#like. shes an emo bruh girl. if it wasnt some sort of edgy teenage heartthrob performance then shed just brush him off like#every other Conventionally Attractive Dude™ falling all over her#ppl keep acting like her not going for every other dude who wants her is a character flaw or bad writing but. like#literally just have you ever met a depressed teenage girl.#shes Not Like Other Girls™ and finds regular guys who express emotions in regular ways boring#her wanting him over every other bland boring safe guy she could have in an instant isnt a plot hole‚ its characterization#also i disagree with the vibe that she's just a blank slate like. as someone who was a depressed teenage girl#she didn't come across as blank to me#she came across as. depressed and emo and trying so very hard to look cool and mysterious at all times and had#spent her life up to that point praying to find out magic was real and could whisk her away into a life of adventure and romance and drama#you look me in the eyes and tell me that girl didn't spend middle school chewing through every book she could get her hands on#as fast as possible.#idk#origibberish
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holyluvr · 7 months
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Getting a good hit of indica that’s a little stronger than vapes I had last time after I ran out of my indica is Hallelujah Praise The LORD and that kid with ADHD
#…#I need indica or antipsychotics both to function. an upper and a downer of some sorts. stimulate then depress. over and over again. daily.#TBH one of the dreams/goals that I still haven’t let myself let go of despite knowing the stats and likelihoods of the outcomes….#well anyway one of those dreams is to somehow fix this. to meet a doctor who has a treatment plan or life change idea that works on the drug#dependency / the ‘maybe’ acquired brain injury issues.#the ‘is this idiopathic narcolepsy or is this ABI from drs or would you consider this probable narcolepsy from ABI from drs or?’ issues.#the ‘it’s harder to put together a clear understanding of your health overall’ comments followed by silence bc they don’t need to say it lol#it’s hard because no one has known what my health ‘should’ be like. know one has any labs without me on psychotropic medication combos.#they have partial proof from brain scans for the conclusion that my brain was just .fried to deal with me/make me easy and good. didn’t work#and they don’t even need proof to know that medication combos in their own profession shouldn’t be used together or are only used together#in extreme cases with no options left that they immediately fucking jumped into and were lucky I didn’t DIE so many times but fuck yeah#now my brain hurts and I’m not how I was beforehand but don’t rlly know why or how to express it#and I feel alone there and then I have bitch ass doctors telling me to Just Stop The Meds For A Fee Weeks :-)! …..Dr u have no idea huh do u#a few weeks? give me 3 days before I’m having a psychotic episode that’s severe enough to warrant police arrest or 911 called for me.#that’s thousands of dollars in a legal psychiatric hold. and that’s if someone catches the signs on time before I potentially harm myself or#like yeah no I’m sorry doc but i can’t just Simply Stop or Substitute anti-anxiety drugs when I’ve had them holding me together b4 puberty.#anyway I’m still. hoping I’ll find some info somewhere or stories and people like me who figured something out or anything idk#because my medical testing is interfered by medications that I cannot stop taking (mainly benzodiazepines) without losing my mind now. bad.
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flowerygn · 2 months
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so, i moved out of my appartement
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