I’m in the kitchen making myself a smoothie and meal, multi-tasking, and I spill a bit of leftover tomato sauce and start cleaning it up after I made an exclamation for filling it too high(all I said was “shoot”) and he goes, “you should get a wife… she comes with a package…” I’m like 🙄😌 here we go again. Smh. It was cute.
I finish prepping and let things simmer and started on blending, but, before I do, I take a spoon of the chili and have him taste test it, he goes, “you don’t need a wife”.
Bruh, I got this! 😼💩
From all the things women taught me growing up into now, I’m good. She’s gotta be better than me and the best for me in order to even consider settling down. Been there, done that. Feels like I’ve had energetic marriages(soul ties) that spanned lifetimes with a few, and those spiritual divorces were brutal. Any relationship that was deep enough left me carrying more than the person who left and for far longer, so I’m not interested in that kind of investment. I’m focused on me for once and I don’t think him or my father get that majority of my life I invested in women and communities and others, at the sacrifice of myself, I really just want to set out on my own and do for self without bearing the responsibility of another individual. What women desire and where I’m going aren’t even in alignment, therefore, I’m not gonna waste their time or mine on false hopes and selling them dreams when the path I walk is entirely outside of what the vast majority are wanting. It’s best I leave them alone and let another man step up to the plate to fulfill that role.
I’ve done my part and still contribute to society irl and URL, no badge, no cap, this idea of duty is just self-interest of civilization, they don’t care about the who or the how or any of that, as long as they reap the benefits and don’t have to do the labor. 😓😒
I’ve done enough efforting and going out of my way for others. I’ve never done for myself what I’ve done for anyone else, especially those I loved. I’ve gone the extra mile, above & beyond, countless times, I deserve this. I need to know what it’s like to be along. I’ve made relationships last to the point where I’ve covered more than 11 years just between 3 individuals. Longevity is not an issue. Getting myself in order and correct with my money straight is the problem. I poured out with no returns, so this is a period of work, harvest, building, and creating. At first I was thinking to find someone before the come up, now I’m over that idea. If they’re not here now, they never will be, and I don’t need someone coming in just for what I have or provide, especially in any one-sided ordeal, over that. If you ain’t with me through it, you not with me after. I’d rather build up the youth, environment, and establish schools and whatnot that everyone can be available for. I’d rather educate other men on how to do rather than be in it myself. I understand it’s not for me, even though it’s easy to make a relationship last, I’m a loner, there’s no coming back from who you are at the core, however, there are lots of guys and ladies who do care to be together, and to facilitate that is more logical and probable to me instead of lying to myself and fooling myself about unicorn fantasies and dreams that are both illusion and elusive in my personal life.
Been pondering on this for a hot minute. 😓😕