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#source: Brooklyn nine nine
marsisaclown · 2 days ago
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I've been obsessed with drawing incorrect quotes
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lesbian-deadpool · 9 hours ago
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Steve: They were not, as the kids say, “Awake”.
Y/N: Do you mean woke?
Steve: I did mean 'woke', but it’s grammatically incoherent.
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natasharomanoffsabs · 13 hours ago
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Y/N: I am straight-up depressed. Wanda's been doing her best to cheer me up. She gave me this sticker this morning just for waking up.
Yelena: Ew, it's like you're dating your teacher.
Y/N: I know, it's so hot.
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incorrectcentaurworld · 2 days ago
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Horse: Can you keep a secret?
Zulius: Do you know anything about my life?
Horse:
Horse: No, I do not. Good point.
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merememberjust · a day ago
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Yelena locked in a closet, but she is refusing Natasha’s help:
Natasha: You can’t spell “Independent” without “dependent.
Yelena: Well you can’t spell “Go fuck yourself” without “Fuck you”!
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sprout-on-the-run · 2 days ago
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Leon: My Lord, just be yourself
Arthur, about to ask out merlin: Leon, I have one day to win Merlin over. How long did it take for you all to like me?
Percival: a couple weeks
Gwaine: six months
Elyan: jury’s still out
Arthur: see? “Be myself”, what kind of garbage advice is that?
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incorrect-piltover-quotes · 17 hours ago
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Vi, to Jayce: Every time you talk, I hear that sound that plays when Pac-Man dies.
Jayce:
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emoprincey · 11 hours ago
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Janus: I need a restaurant recommendation. It's Patton's birthday and I want to do something... nice.
Remus: Here's what you do: invite him over, order some fancy take-out, throw it in a pot and act like you cooked it.
Janus: Dude, I'm not going to buy a pot. We're not married.
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Jack: Andy Herrera is fiercely loyal, she'll do the right thing for you even if you can't see it for yourself. She's saved my ass countless of times.
Andy: It's twelve, I counted.
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miawin6 · a day ago
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Will: Ladies and gentlemen, we are gathered here today to answer an age-old question. The question is: who here does the best impression of Dr. Hannibal Lecter. You'll be judged on voice, body language and overall lack of flair. Everyone will perform the same scenario: Dr. Lecter eating a marshmallow for the very first time. LET THE LECTER-OFF BEGIN!
Jack Crawford (impersonating Hannibal): What is this glutinous monstrosity before me?
Beverly (impersonating Hannibal): The sugar in this is quite sweet.
Abigail (impersonating Hannibal): oooohhhh *starts giggling profusely*
Will: That's your Lecter impression?
Abigail: I can hear him doing that.
Alana (impersonating Hannibal): Looks like a sticky pillow.
Will (impersonating Hannibal): I don't care for it. Classical music.
*Everybody laughs*
Hannibal (entering the room): What's going on here? What are you doing?
Will: Dr. Lecter, hey. Nothing, just eating some marshmallows. Care for one?
Hannibal (picking one up): Marshed mellow?
Hannibal: *starts giggling profusely while chewing*
Abigail: I KNEW IT!!!!!!
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jasonsthunderthighs · 7 days ago
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*Tim and Jason are tied up together*
Tim: You don't think they're actually goin to kill us!?
Jason: Hmm..
Jason: *Looking down* Ah. Rookie mistake, should've tied my legs.
Tim: Huh?
Jason: *Starts to easily get up with his legs, getting up to his feet* Ali oop!
Tim: Hey! Do I even weigh ANYTHIN to you?
Jason: No. It's like holdin a couple of grapes. *Starts running away with Tim still tied to him* Let's go!
*Finally finds Dick*
Jason: Dick!
Dick: Jason! *Looking around* Where's Tim?!
Jason: *Turns around to show Tim* He's right here.
Tim: Hey.
Dick:
Dick: *Trying not to laugh, putting his hand on his leg with his other hand showing one finger* Pfft!
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incorrectbatfam · 2 months ago
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Dick: Thank you all for joining me. What we have here is a fugitive situation. Our man has been on the run for thirty minutes. Also, our man is a dog.
Dick: Now I know what some of you are thinking, "Who cares? It’s just a pet."
Damian: No one was thinking that, you monster!
Dick: Good. That was a test.
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textsfromthetva · 12 days ago
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Loki / Brooklyn Nine-Nine [20/?]
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myfavoriteficss · 28 days ago
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Yelena: “I’m out. Four hours is the most I’ve ever spent alone with any human. It was the worst experience of my life.”
Kate: “What about that time we drove out to Boston together? That was about four hours.”
Yelena: …
Kate: “Oh, I see what just happened.”
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incorrectquotesmcu · a month ago
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Tony: 9:01. Steve Rogers is officially late for the first time ever. Alright, let’s do this. Who’s got theories?
Bruce: Uh… alarm didn’t go off.
Tony: All three alarms? All with battery backup? Come on, who wants to take this seriously?
Clint: Ooh! He was taken in his sleep.
Tony: That’s what I’m talking about! Super dark, Clint, but way more plausible than Bruce’s idiotic alarm theory.
Natasha: I bet he tucked himself in bed too tight and got stuck.
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you-said-yes · 11 months ago
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peter when his dads charles and erik show up to rescue him from his sister from another universe: i'm so relieved you guys found me. wait, how did you find me?
erik: you hadn't done anything super annoying to us for like five hours, so we knew something was wrong.
peter: oh that's very insulting but dead on.
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incorrect-piltover-quotes · a month ago
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I didn’t understand why people care so much about their dumb kids till I got a dumb kid . I’ve only had Jinx for a day and a half, but if anything happened to her, I would kill everyone in this room and then myself.
Silco
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emoprincey · 11 hours ago
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Roman: Are we friends again?
Remus: No
Remus: ...
Remus: We're brothers
Roman: That was terrifying, don't pause like that!
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incorrectsoukokuquotes · a month ago
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Ranpo: Maybe Mr Fancy Hat's dead.
Dazai: No way that's true. As Chuuya says when he sees deodorant, "I'm not buying it."
Kunikida: Dazai, he might actually be dead.
Dazai: Oh, Kunikida. Zombies can't die. This is some sort of scam. If he were dead, we would be hearing the sounds of children singing in the streets.
Atsushi: Why would a mafia executive fake his own death?
Dazai: The same reason he visits Mexico once a year and sucks the blood from all the goats. For kicks.
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lesbian-deadpool · 2 months ago
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Fury: When I die, please give person Carol my regards.
Y/N: What should I tell them?
Fury: Regards.
(Bonus)
Y/N: You can tell they’re your best friend.
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