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#source: another beginning

eegasleega-will-change-this-l8r · 7 months

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A very old family photograph

George, Maria, and their beloved daughter, Rosie

(Taken a few months before the disappearance of George and presumed death of Maria)

Sooooo this sort of serves as the proper introduction to Rosie! We know that George and Maria are Ninten's great grandparents, and obviously we see both (kinda) of his parents in the game, but there's nothing on the generation in between. So Grandma Rosie is the character I created to fill in that gap!

She was the child of George of Maria, born maybe two years or so after they got together, and together they were the perfect family. George would read her stories and ask her to help him with his own writing and poetry, Maria would teach her jokes and games and sing her to sleep, every day was filled with joy.

Rosie was only about 9 when her parents were abducted, and her life was never the same after that. A family friend, George's personal doctor (he'll be showing up again in other posts), moved in to take care of her, but every day she wished to see her parents again.

Well, two years passed and it seemed for certain that her parents were dead, when she was awoken in the middle of the night by the barking of dogs as a man lurched up to the front door.

He was battered, exhausted, his clothes were torn and he was an absolute mess, but it was George. It was a miracle, but his embrace was short and stiff, he couldn't look her in the eye, he barely spoke. And her mother was nowhere to be seen. He refused to answer when she, or anyone else, asked where he'd been, or where his wife had gone.

He moved back in, and his friend out again, but he would barely act like she was even there. She found herself going to the doctor's house, while George locked himself in the basement, frantically scribbling and muttering to himself. Sometimes she would talk to him and he'd seem like he suddenly remembered everything, and he'd look at her with incredible sadness and apologize, but he would always return back to his work.

So the years went on, and nothing ever changed. Rosie grew up, the father from her childhood being as good as dead and an aloof stranger taking his place in her basement, and she stopped trying to bring him back out. The rumours about George, as you can imagine, were terrible, and she was never fully sure if she could really brush them off. She became stronger and more independent as she grew older, and vowed she'd never be the same as her father.

She got married (no idea to who, i do not care), had a daughter, Carol, that she made sure would never be abandoned, eventually Carol grew up herself and found a husband, Jack (who she did not approve of), who she of course had three kids with. George meanwhile was still alive, incredibly aged and seeming to have finally given up on his strange obsessions. Not that he opened up any more. He'd stopped speaking entirely, even though he'd finally left the basement, and soon after Ninten was born, he disappeared again, apparently for good. Rosie decided it was time for her to go too, and left the house to Carol, Jack, and their children, though she made sure to visit as often as she could to make up for Jack's constant absence.

Once the Invasion is averted and the world is saved, Ninten pays her a visit and makes sure to tell her what had happened to her parents all those years ago, and everything that's happened to him, too. It can't really take away her pain, but knowing the full story will at least put some of it to rest.

#mother series #mother 1 #earthbound #earthbound beginnings #george mother 1 #maria mother 1 #rosie #emilyart #emilyramblings #oc #this was fun :3 #when your headcanons about characters get so detailed you need to invent new characters to support them #uhh i think there's stuff in other sources that details george and maria's kid(s)#i at least know that IFtU has a whole thing with george having three sons #but they're not expanded on and i'm mostly just taking stuff from the game and making up my own stuff to fill in the gaps #unless i really like something from another source #like ninten and penguins #ninten's dad being named jack is from IFtU but i think i might've actually come up with it independently before i read it #i haven't borrowed the halloway surname at least #i don't have one imagined myself but

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osamid · 7 months

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an interesting (unpopular? i think?) soukoku opinion i have is i don't think dazai was oblivious to his feelings towards chuuya, like ever. i understand WHY people interpret dazai as having trouble identifying and reckoning with his emotions; i'm not knocking it! there's plenty of evidence to suggest that and also i think it fits with his actions. HOWEVER. for me dazai is the most fun when he's deliberately suppressing and neglecting his own feelings. dazai realizes at the tender age of like 15 that he's at least infatuated with chuuya, and his first instinct is "well how do i compartmentalize that. how do i make sure this doesn't interfere with my plans and our job at the mafia." and then he compromises with his emotions by keeping chuuya close but not allowing himself to seem too affectionate or "trick" chuuya into liking him back. i think this version of dazai is most compelling to me because then the struggle isn't "get blockhead dazai to realize he's in/can love" its "get blockhead dazai to realize he's allowed to indulge in love" which is much more fun, especially when you have seven (or even more, i don't think this mindset would be limited to chuuya) years worth of distancing himself from his own emotions to contend with.

#putting the more negative parts in the tags i think another reason i'm not partial to the “dazai is oblivious to his own feelings” headcanon #is that it sorta implies that dazai isn't self-aware?#which like. he clearly is. i think moments when we (the veiwer) think he isn't self aware is the result of the MEDIA not being self-aware #<- talking about his treatment of akutagawa and other such failures. “don't pity yourself” moment. the whole father thing.#dazai doesn't acknowledge these flaws because the source material doesn't think its a flaw either #but i digress. my point here is that i personally think dazai is so painfully self-aware that it turns into over-rationalizing himself #dazai's emotions to him are just as irrelevant as his physical needs and such like that.#does this make sense? idk #example i'll give: his character growth as he trusts the ada and works less utterly on his own mind #i think dazai is capable of seeing his own trust issues and what not from the very beginning #but it's only after it's been proved to him that him that no total control isn't the most logical option #and in fact trusting his allies CAN work out without pulling every string #that dazai beings to take down (a few) of his walls #its not that dazai doesn't know he has feelings. its that they aren't relevant to him #they cause him grief #fuck up his plans #and (to him) need to be squared away and dismissed as soon as possible #i know that isn't in line with the no longer human novel but WHATEVS #my hcs #bsd #skk #bsd dazai

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extrasfromthevoid · 2 months

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Oracle Trance -- Caught in The Moirai's Threads

I haven’t talked a lot about Milo’s power of clairvoyance yet, which is as shame because it’s such an integral part of her character! So many of her choices and so much of her personality are informed by this power, for better or worse

So.

Milo has foreseen the return of The Shredder since she was a literal infant. And as a literal infant, Milo couldn’t exactly articulate what it was about her “dreams” that distressed her so much. She woke up crying a lot, which her birth parents hated greatly because to an outside perspective, it seemed like she cried for no reason.

Those visions got graphic. As in, “experience the brutal deaths of yourself, your loved ones, and the entire world” levels of graphic. Her visions are primarily visual and tactile (you know how sometimes if you get hurt in a dream, you not only feel it in the dream but you get this weird phantom feeling where you got hurt when you wake up ? It’s basically that). When Milo was young, the content of the visions were poorly defined. Anything but the MAIN subject of the vision would be hazy shapes and blobs of color. This changes as she grows older and grows more in tune with her power.

The way it works is that Milo can perceive the unwoven threads of time and chance. Each thread represents a possible outcome and is made up of hundreds of thousands of variables. The aesthetic for time that I'm going for is--obviously--that of woven fabric.

The past is the pattern that's already been woven.

The present is what is currently being added to the overall fabric.

The future is the threads that have yet to be added and incorporated.

For her part, Milo can only see the unwoven threads.

Since there's so many loose threads and possibilities, it's easy for Milo to get "snagged" in them and have to view these futures continuously until she untangles her consciousness from these endless possible futures. This is what a waking vision (or an oracle trance) ultimately is. While in this state, if people ask Milo questions pertaining to the future, the threads with the answers to those questions become magnetized to her (like static, really), and only serves to entangle her further and make it harder and more difficult for Milo to separate her consciousness from her power. In fact, it would be insanely easy for Milo to get permanently stuck in this state because the threads of possibility she gets entangled in are unbreakable, so the only way out is to untangle herself (and anyone who's ever worked with thread or yarn knows how easily a Gordian Knot can form when you least want it).

What's more, being in a waking vision/oracle trance is not unlike having sleep paralysis. She's still somewhat conscious, her visions projecting themselves to her on her surroundings, but her thoughts outside her visions are sluggish--unable to fully divorce the visions from reality as she would normally--and her body is fully paralyzed.

(Eternity trapped in a waking vision is an unfortunate fate that many oracles have fallen prey to as in most cases, the people around them would value access to their power over them as people.)

The best way to deal with waking visions is for Milo to be left alone with minimal stimulation, so she can untangle herself in peace. The process can still take a while depending on how tangled she is, but it usually takes at least two days.

Milo gets her visions when she sleeps, though they don't happen every time she sleeps. She generally can sense when a vision is coming, especially if it's going to be very intense (those ones are proceeded with what Milo has dubbed "prelude migraines"). She doesn't have much control over what her visions show her, but the things that she thinks of most can influence them. And since Milo thinks a lot about The Shredder's return and keeping her family safe, these things feature frequently.

Being exposed to abrupt stimulus during these visions is what triggers a waking vision/oracle trance.

(Her brothers learned that the hard way when they were young. After experiencing one of Milo's waking visions for the first time, they collectively became pretty protective of her when they know she's having visions now that they are aware of just how vulnerable she is during this time)

ALSO

I've finally decided on what Milo's true origins (i.e. pre-Draxum origins) are! I've mostly been defaulting to my crossover origins, but I figured one out that is no crossover required!

(I'm still keeping Milo's universe DC adjacent because I have some very specific funny references I want to include)

So. Where did Milo come from? Why does she have such a frankly OP/meta power from birth?

Well...what race of people do we know of from the TMNT universe that collectively have mystical time powers and mysterious origins?

Time Masters, babyyy~~

#void's art #rottmnt oc: milo hamato #rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #teenage mutant ninja turtles #holy multiple light sources batman #i...honestly didnt even know how to BEGIN to shade and highlight this piece so i kind of gave up and did my best #the fact that I put Milo in a blue totk!zelda-style dress is VERY intentional :)#blue is the color that time masters' power takes and time masters have powers related to the past #milo on the other hand is an outlier w her golden yellow future powers #I’ve ended up assigning the time masters a greco-zonai aesthetic style bc every time I think of Milo’s powers I think oracle of delphi #and the fates (and maybe the norns). and i just...instinctively put milo in a totk!zelda dress so theres also that #even tho the time masters aren’t JUST a bunch of crusty European dudes (they are a bunch of arrogant past-obsessed jerks tho)#anyway. milo’s dress #it’s meant to be a nod towards her heritage as a time master so whenever she’s in her oracle mind space she’ll be wearing that #milo doesn’t know what time masters are let alone that she IS one bc she was a literal toddler when she was abandoned in nyc by her father #her father had been trying to get rid of his ‘’defective’’ offspring for a while but she kept coming back #another reason I conflated the time masters w Greek myth is bc Milo’s father tried to do w her what all greek kings did w unwanted kids:#abandon them in the wilderness to die from exposure so they didnt have to do DIRECT infanticide #yeah...milo's birth father is a real piece of work #also the transparent blue crown thing w the yellow eye-dots is supposed to be a time master head piece #i somehow conflated the helmet renet wore in 12!tmnt w a jack kirby galactus helmet lmao #(i actually like this design tho so i dont think i'll change it. maybe i'll design a few alternates but i'll stick w this one :3)#for a regular time master like milo's sperm donor it would be plain blue...but she's got the 'yellow impurity' so it shows through #my time masters are all about the orderly preservation and curation of the past. they have no patience or reverence for the chaotic future #hence why milo was deemed 'defective' and cast out #tag rambles

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phoneybeatlemania · 2 years

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I’ve been doubting if Paul truly loved John recently. Like maybe he’s just saying he did or convincing himself he did. This has been troubling me so could you try and convince me otherwise?

Hiya anon! As a firm believer that Paul did love John (regardless of how one interprets the nature of that love), Im very happy to have a go at convincing you otherwise! Not sure if I’ll be able to, but I hope this post will come as some assistance.

Its a little hard to tackle your question given that Im not sure what’s swayed you to believe that Paul only pretends to himself/the public that he loved John—perhaps its just a vibe you get from him, perhaps there’s more reasoning behind it etc.—but here are some things that convince me of his authenticity:

Firstly, there’s the actual breakdown of the relationship between the two. Paul was clearly heartbroken by the bands breakup, and to me, this speaks to someone being personally affected. Its not just that his groups broken up and he’s lost and doesn’t know which direction his life’s about to take, but even more-so in my opinion, its that he’s lost a close friend. He’s been pushed away and out of someones life, and seemingly he can’t understand why that is; he’s unsure what exactly went wrong (“what petty crime was I found guilty of?”). One of my favourite passages written on the Beatles comes from Mark Hertgaards biography, where he writes about The Long And Winding Road, and I’d like to share it cause I always find it rather moving:

…unlike his earlier songwriting persona, McCartney now seemed to accept that life did not always get better. What’s more, his lyrics again seemed to invite the speculation that he was, at least in part, singing to John. “You left me standing here / A long, long time ago” went one especially wounded line. Even more plaintive was the plea, “Don’t leave me waiting here.” But if one listened very carefully to that line, it seemed to be followed by Paul singing in the background, “It’s too late,” an apparent acknowledgment that he and John could never return to the miraculous state of grace they had shared for so many years. […] the dream was ending by then, and all the king’s horses and all the king’s men couldn’t put it back together again. — A Day in the Life: the music and artistry of the Beatles by Mark Hertsgaard

But then there’s Pauls own commentary on the subject. The breakup took an emotional-toll on him, evidenced by the depression that ensued for him in 1969:

[The band] mattered plenty to McCartney. He and Linda went off to a farm in Campbeltown, Scotland, where McCartney drank too much, slept late into the afternoons, and then drank some more. He’d always enjoyed a drink or a joint. […] But now, he said, “there was no reason to stop.” He was depressed. “The job was gone, and it was more than the job, obviously—it was the Beatles, the music, my musical life, my collaborator,” he told me. “It was this idea of ‘What do I do now?’ ” — “Paul McCartney Doesn’t Really Want to Stop the Show” by David Remnick for The New Yorker (11 October 2021) via @thecoleopterawithana (x)

—

McCartney has since admitted that he “almost” had a nervous breakdown in the period when it became clear to him that The Beatles were collapsing. From the outside, there appears to have been no "almost" about it. Paul's sleepless nights were spent shaking with anxiety, while his days, which he was finding harder and harder to face, were characterised by morning drinking sessions and self-sedation with marijuana. And so, for him, the beginning of the home sessions for what would become McCartney were essentiallv music as therapy.

“Yeah, I think you're right,” he says today. “It got very heavy. It had been so painful, emotionally, to be splitting up with your mates…” — Paul McCartney via Mojo: The Collectors Series: Paul McCartney, 2021

At other times, he also makes note of how difficult that breakup was for him in likening it to a divorce, of which he’s hesitant to speak about because these things hurt. It wasn't a nice period of his life, and understandably he's reluctant to focus-in too on the times where his relationship with John was fraught with conflicts:

“I always liken [the breakup] to like a divorce, y’know, and you uh…somebody wants to talk about your ex wife and stuff and you don’t wanna talk about it, you wanna take your head somewhere else, cause its been— its painful. It’s pretty painful that, y’know as I say, just the rug being pulled from underneath you. — Paul McCartney on The Today Show, c. 1984 (x)

—

‘It’s just like divorce. It’s that you were so close and so in love that if anyone decides to start talking dirty—great, then Pandora’s box is open. That’s what happened with us. In the end it was like, “Oh, you want to know the truth about him? Right, I’ll tell you.

Obviously, I go over this ground in my mind. I was one of the biggest friends in [John’s] life, one of the closest people to him. I can’t claim to be the closest, although it’s possible. It’s contentious, but I wouldn’t…I don’t need that credit. But I was certainly among the three or four people who were closest to him in his life, I would have thought, and obviously it was very hurtful. […] Actually it was really nice [that] after John died, Yoko was quite kind in telling me that he did really love me. Because it looked like he didn’t.’ — Paul McCartney, interview w/ Anthony DeCurtis for Rolling Stone: The Paul McCartney interview. (November 5th, 1987) via @amoralto (x)

Then there’s his attempts to reconcile with John across the years. It doesn’t seem to me that Paul was only attempting these reconciliations with John with for the purposes of reuniting the band, because he appeared to be doing fine with Wings and his solo career, plus the issue with the group back together wasn’t just between him and John.

So when he’s reaching out to John in the 70s, trying to make amends with him, I doubt it was with the sole intent of Reliving The Glory Days. I think he just cared for John and valued their relationship—and although things were never going to be the same as they were in the 60s, that doesn’t mean they had to go no-contact. Here’s some extracts where he talks about that love he had for John:

“…And then with ‘Dear Friend’, that’s sort of me talking to John after we’d had all the sort of disputes about The Beatles break up. I find it very emotional when I listen to it now. I have to sort of choke it back. I’m not going to cry in front of all you lot though! [Paul gestures to the five of us in the room sitting on the edge of our seats, captivated by the story!] But, for me, it is a bit like that. I remember when I heard the song recently, listening to the roughs [remastering works-in-progress] in the car. And I thought, ‘Oh God’. That lyric: ‘Really truly, young and newly wed’. Listening to that was like, ‘Oh my God, it’s true!’ I’m trying to say to John, ‘Look, you know, it’s all cool. Have a glass of wine. Let’s be cool.’ And luckily we did get it back together, which was like a great source of joy because it would have been terrible if he’d been killed as things were at that point and I’d never got to straighten it out with him. This was me reaching out. So, I think it’s very powerful in some very simple way. But it was certainly heartfelt.” — Paul McCartney on Dear Friend, You Gave Me The Answer - Celebrating 50 years of Wings and ‘Wild Life’ (c. 2018) (x)

—

Well, I’m sure Brian was in love with John, I’m sure that’s absolutely right. I mean, everyone was in love with John; John was lovable, John was a very lovable guy. — Paul McCartney via Linda McCartney: A Portrait by Danny Fields (2000)

—

Sitting beside him on stage, Muldoon suggested to McCartney that what came across in their conversations, despite the occasional “wobble” in the relationship, was McCartney’s love for Lennon. “It’s very true,” said McCartney. “You say that I loved him and as 17-year-old Liverpool kids you could never say that. It just wasn’t done. So I never really said, ‘John, love you mate’ I never got around to it so now it’s great to realise how much I love this man.” — Roisin Ingle, ‘Paul McCartney on loving John Lennon, the Beatles break-up and his Irish family’, The Irish Times, 2021 (x)

But then what sticks out in my mind the most about Pauls relationship with John, is the amount of sympathy Paul had (and still has) for him. Of course there’s things John said or did that hurt him, but he still retains a level of understanding of both who John fundamentally was as a person, and what drove John to do those hurtful things:

I always find myself wanting to excuse John’s behaviour, just because I loved him. It’s like a child, sure he’s a naughty child, but don’t you call my child naughty. Even if it’s me he’s shitting on, don’t you call him naughty. That’s how I felt about this and still do. I don’t have any grudge whatsoever against John. I think he was a sod to hurt me. I think he knew exactly what he was doing and because we had been so intimate he knew what would hurt me and he used it to great effect. I thought, Keep your head down and time will tell. And it did, because in the Imagine film, he says it was really all about himself. — Paul McCartney via Many Years From Now by Barry Miles (x)

This extract from Miles’ biography has always been, and always will be, one of my favourite quotes from Paul. He recognises here that in the past, John did do a lot of hurtful things and did do wrong by him at times. But it’s not an attempted character assassination, because he’s not saying these things with the sole motivation to damage Johns image—he’s saying them because they’re apart of the reality of their relationship. It wasn’t always perfect, and the two by all means had their downfalls, but it was still always underpinned by an affection.

Whether Paul recognises the severity of Johns mental illness issues is subject to question, but I think he’s made it abundantly clear over the years that he does recognise that John was somebody who was hurting. He was struggling, he was insecure, and that drove him to behave in a way that could be described guarded—but Paul isn’t without sympathy for him. He recognises these issues John had, and it seems he’s been able to reconcile the ways in which these issues often manifested themselves in Johns relationships—through hostility, acerbic wit etc.—with his acceptance that beneath it all, John did care for him.

Within this need to know that he was in fact loved by John, I think we can draw that its a matter of importance because when we love someone else, we want that sentiment to be returned; to love and to be loved:

John had a lot to guard against and it formed his personality; he was a very guarded person. I think that was the balance between us: John was caustic and witty out of necessity and, underneath, quite a warm character when you got to know him. I was the opposite, easygoing, friendly, no necessity to be caustic or biting or acerbic but I could be tough if I needed to be…The partnership, the mix was incredible. We both had submerged qualities that we each saw and knew. We would] never have stood each other for all that time if we'd just been one-dimensional. —Paul McCartney via Many Years From Now by Barry Miles

—

‘When we were younger, we used to swear a lot more…I’ve still had periods when I’ve sworn…It’s bravado, trying to be cool, man. John always had a lot of that bluster, though. It was his shield against life.

He’d say, “My dad left home when I was three, and my mother got run over and killed by an off-duty policeman outside the house, and my Uncle George died. Yeah, I’m bitter.” He told me once he thought he was a curse on the male line of the family because his dad had run away, and then he went to live with Auntie Mimi and Uncle George. Then George, whom he’d really liked, died. His mum was run over after she’d visited him, while walking to the bus stop down the street where he lived. He idolised her. Just having to accommodate all that would make you want to put up a few defences. The point is that most people don’t tend to show their emotions unless they are in private, but deep down, people are emotional, and all I’m really saying in this song is, “Love isn’t silly at all.”’ — Paul McCartney on Silly Love Songs in The Lyrics, 2021 (x)

—

‘[Sarcastically] “you know, Lennon was the hardest sort of guy” John was not hard. John was a baby. A lovely little baby, John was. […] John had one of the biggest fronts—but then if you look at Johns history, father leaving home at three et cetera, this is a boy growing up on his own, so many insecurities, I can totally sympathise. Particularly now at this age, now that I’ve got kids and I can see what kind of stuff does to kids, boy can I see what it did to John.’ — Paul McCartney on NBC today via @sgt-paul (x)

—

‘I mean a song like ‘Help!’, I remember sitting down and writing this with John, and he’d come up with the uh…“when I was younger, so much younger…” and I suddenly realised ‘okay, so we’re talking about an insecurity thing—but this is great, it’s a song!’. And once we’d finished it we were very happy with it, but it was only later when I thought ‘wow, you know what, that was a real cry for help. He really meant it.’ And there were so many things like that about Johns life that, you know I could really sympathise with.’ — Paul McCartney in interview with Howard Stern, 2020 (x)

—

John was going through a lot of pain when he said a lot of that stuff, and he felt that we were being vindictive towards him and Yoko. […] But we were actually quite supportive. Not supportive enough, you know; it would have been nice to have been really supportive because then we could look back and say, Weren’t we really terrific? But looking back on it, I think we were OK. We were never really that mean to them, but I think a lot of the time John suspected meanness where it wasn’t really there. — Paul McCartney in interview w/ Chris Salewicz, 1986 (x)

—

That was John; just a jealous guy. He was a paranoid guy. And he was into drugs…heavy. He was into heroin, the extent of which I hadn’t realised till just now.

It’s all starting to click a bit in my brain. I just figured, “Oh, there’s John, my buddy, and he’s turning on me.” He once said to me, “Oh, they’re all on the McCartney bandwagon.” Things like that were hurting him, and looking back on it now I just think that it’s a bit sad really.

[…]

I’m beginning to think it wasn’t all my fault. I’m beginning to let myself off a lot of the guilt. I always felt guilty but looking back on it I can say okay, let’s try and outline some things. John was hurt; what was he hurt by? What is the single biggest thing that we can find in all our research that hurt John? And the biggest thing that I can find is that I told the world that the Beatles were finished. I don’t think that’s so hurtful. — Paul McCartney, interview w/ Chris Salewicz for Musician: Tug of war – Paul McCartney wants to lay his demons to rest. (October, 1986) via @amoralto (x)

Now, I can only guess as to why one might think Paul didn’t love John, but perhaps what you’re getting at anon with saying “maybe he’s just saying he did or convincing himself he did”, is that following an untimely death people are expected to express their love of that individual. And even detracting from PR, if someone were close to dies, we’re probably going to want to believe that we did genuinely love and care for them (because no one wants feel like a complete sociopath). Given that Paul has often paired his commentary on his love for John, following his death, with reflections on his inability and regret about not expressing this to him while he had the chance to, it could be suggested that this is largely just a PR-thing (i.e ‘if he loved him so much, why didn’t he didn’t he tell him that when he was alive?’).

But honestly, I very much doubt that’s the case. I can’t speak for Pauls own experiences in friendship, but I know that Ive rarely, if ever, told my friends/family I love them. It’s just not something that comes up regularly, and it's not something Id feel comfortable saying. And I think that’s the case for most people—I mean, it’s easy to miss those opportunities in which we could have told someone we loved them, because we take for granted the belief that they’ll always be here. We assume they’ll be here tomorrow, and the day after that, and the day after that and so on. And even when we do say the things we want to say, there’s still the question of whether it came across clearly or sincerely enough.

There was no way Paul could have ever prepared himself for losing John that suddenly (whereas with someone like George, he was at least given time to reconcile). So it doesn’t surprise me that, to this day, he is so emphatic about his affection for John—especially when we account for the assumption people had from things like Lennon Remembers or the Let It Be documentary which suggested there was only ever hostility between them:

"Y’know, as sixteen year old, seventeen year old Liverpool kids, you could never say that—it just wasn’t done. Um, so I never did. I never really just said ‘John, love you man’, y’know, I just never got round to it. So now, it is great to just realise…how much I loved this man." — Paul McCartney discussing The Lyrics w/ Samira Ahmed, 2021 (x)

—

“I never got to straighten things out like I would have liked to. But ah, what I have to take as my consolation–I’ll take anything I can get–…really the biggest consolation was that the last phone call we had together was really good. It was very warm; we were talking about kids, talking about hats, about his Aunt Mimi, and stuff that I could relate to….he was really very warm. And I kind of realised that even if we’d been bitching and stuff in public we still had affection for each other and I was pleased to know that. And I know Yoko later rang me up and said ‘look, you know, he did love you’. [Paul looks pained and fidgets with his ear.] So you know, you grab anything you can get. I know he did (love me); I know he came close to ‘love/hate;’ any strong relationship’s got that in it, I think. It’s a pity; be nice for everything to be wonderful smooth all the time, but it seems to be life, doesn’t it.” — Paul McCartney, c. 1980s, via @maclen100 (x)

The processes of grief and retrospect I think have encouraged him to value smaller details of their time together, aspects which otherwise could have been overlooked in the face of hostility. Despite the conflicts that developed between the two, love and affection was always there at the very core of their relationship. And in the end, that love is paramount to all else.

— — —

Anyway, I wasn’t sure how to incorporate some extra things I came across while collecting these quotes, but I thought Id just throw in a little bonus for anyone who loves reading up on the happier side to their relationship as much as I do!:

John’s relationship with Paul always seemed warm and genuine during the 1964-66 tours. If there was any resentment simmering between the two in the Beatles’ heyday, it was certainly disguised. But all the time I spent with the boys touring America, I never witnessed anything between the two of them that even bordered on dislike, mistrust, backbiting, or malevolence. In fact, during the last filmed interview that Lennon and McCartney ever gave together, which I had the honor (unknown at the time) of conducting in 1968, the two of them seemed–despite the rumours that were already swirling–committed to each other as musicians and human beings. — Lennon Revealed by Larry Kane

—

“One of the nicest moments I remember from those years was when John said he liked ‘Here, There And Everywhere’ better than any of his songs at the time—there were those little things.” McCartney, after all, possessed the musical capacity to make people’s hearts sing. Lennon would also have relished the chance to thank McCartney for the love within the music which he gave to the world. He may not have conceded as much at the time, but it was also a pleasure for Lennon to hear McCartney sing. — Come Together: Lennon & McCartney in the Seventies by Richard White

—

“I was very good at sarcasm myself. I could really keep up with John then. If I was in a bad enough mood, I was right up there with him. We were terrific then. He could be as wicked as he wanted, and I could be as wicked, too.” — Paul McCartney, Playboy interview, 1984 via @aceonthebase (x)

—

‘No matter what’s happened, even though John’s dead, I don’t feel like we are ever gonna be apart. I think we’re a part of each other’s lives, we’re a part of each other’s karma, man! And, you know, there’s something kind of deeper than all the business troubles we went through. They were real enough! But… nah, I think through all of that stuff, there was always the John who would put down his glasses and he’d say: “It’s only me.” And that was it, I’d know what he meant! ‘Ya, it’s only Johnny! It’s only Lennon, he’s only having a laugh with us, it’s just a joke, really.’ There was always that feeling that at the bottom of things, no matter how bad it got - fights, sort of slanging matches, or anything - we still kinda liked each other. [Here Today starts playing].’ — ‘In My Life: Lennon Remembered’ interview w/ Simon Mayo, 1990 via @pizzaandfairytales (x) (x)

—

This performance of Here Today sent to me by the wonderful @royaltyisshe64 :)

—

“I didn’t hate John. People said to me when he said those things on his record about me, you must hate him, but I didn’t. I don’t. We were once having a right slagging session and I remember how he took off his granny glasses. I can still see him. He put them down and said, ‘It’s only me, Paul.’ Then he put them back on again, and we continued slagging…That phrase keeps coming back to me all the time. ‘It’s only me.’ It’s became a mantra in my mind.” — Paul McCartney in interview w/ Hunter Davies, 1981 (x)

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unproduciblesmackdown · 9 months

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another note re: the full chronological summer stock song list, being:

"Get Happy," "Happy Days Are Here Again/I Want to Be Happy," "Accentuate the Positive," "I'm Always Chasing Rainbows," "Always," "Always (reprise)," "It's Only a Paper Moon," "The Best Things in Life Are Free," "Dig for Your Dinner," "Me and My Shadow," "Howdy Neighbor, Happy Harvest," "Red Hot Mama," " 'Til We Meet Again," "You Wonderful You," "June Night," "Some of These Days," "Joe's Dance," "I'm Always Chasing Rainbows (reprise)," "It All Depends on You," "Always (reprise)," "Everybody Step," "Lucky Day," "How Ya Gonna Keep 'Em Down on the Farm," "Hinky-Dinky Parlez Vouz," "It Had to Be You," "Get Happy (reprise)" and "You Wonderful You (Finale)"

with the general reference point that "june night" is the first post-intermission act two song, sure Looking at that act two's second "always (reprise)"....that first Always/reprise combo being the introductory wingates scene that we now know is where mrs. margaret widow "orville's mom" wingate is Already just pushing orville at jane to marry so that she can have the falbury farm & in turn that whole swatch of land, with no doughnut hole of someone else's farm in the middle, and we know that this is pretty transparent and just placed there before jane decides to agree to the "theatre troupe as farmhands" (and eventual theatre show as farm-saving fundraiser) as this like motivating push when nobody's really enthused about being pushed into marriages or having to sell their farm or lose it or anything but also nobody sees a world of other options, so the antics of dealing with productions in your barn is more appealing

all as leadup like, but for real if the first "always (reprise)" is a proposal push / orchestration, (and if "'til we meet again," a song that's pretty much its own marriage proposal, features orville/phil moments & literal orchestrations....) and the piano orville/phil duet is somewhere in act two, probably preceding a [Rehearsals] sequence, just sure going "omg. what if" like sure maybe mrs. margaret widow wingate gets that Reprise, but the other most likely candidate is orville, and hand on forehead "orvphil real" shirt on torso like omg the potential power of that, presuming it has a more Genuine invocation in one way or another in act two......but fr it might be like, a twist like "always (reprise) (even more openly: A Threat)" from margaret wingate gearing up for one more Stop The Show maneuver. still fun to imagine like goodspeed post these clips of everyone's favorite intense professional possible romance pleeease thank you

#always wanting orville scenes; alway going ''omg sooo fun if orville & phil get material together''#now just like my GOD please let us see & hear it lmao #not to mention thee delights of just knowing that orville does get to participate in the show :']#summer stock #orville wingate #orvphil #also bound to just rb the gifset to say so but the Raising A Glass shot is very probably like post rehearsals / pre opening scene #Makes Sense (otherwise figuring it was just after like any long day of rehearsals; right) & is indicated by looking at costuming too #anyways like we have all that actual Orvphil Real evidence we need but fun to go ''omg. aaugh'' about ideas of it #and please also let's Get more lol.#like already yes yes omg it's cute & sweet & Musicians Behind The Scenes Boys & waaugh #fellas when one source describes your blossoming friendship and possible romance & another one says you (orville) begin to blossom...#with your best boy friend the feisty composer; your playing off each other is a joy; one of the show's highlights....wyd

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branmer · 2 years

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the minbari federation factbook has two editions, and apparently in the edition i do not have the section on centauri and minbari relations was amended to say that the reason why the centauri were so scared of the minbari was because they had previously come in just in time to witness the minbari carrying out a previous genocide. this is non canonical (and obviously why would the centauri not just say that to the humans if it were canon) but it is an idea that absolutely fascinates me

#i know another one from a different source was that at some point the centauri and minbari had a trade disagreement of some kind #or a territory dispute #and the minbari reacted by just sending the warrior caste fleet out #and the centauri took one look and were like 'haha nope'#it's not indicated in this version exactly what the dispute was i think?#so i love to imagine it was something totally fucking petty #and the centauri were like 'oh oh they're unhinged ok'#WAIT was that not in the in the beginning novelisation actually???#so that might be the canonical version

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overgrown-ruins · 1 year

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Just realised that at the end of August it'll be 10 years since the start of my depression.

Those first few years were rough, and teenage me struggled to think I'd make it to 5 years. But here we are, twice that amount, and life is better. It's not the best, but I'm in a lot better place (mentally & physically) than I was 10 years ago. Life is worth living again.

I know it's hard to believe when you're in the thick of it, but things will get better. With time, patience, and commitment to yourself, it will. It will.

#never underestimate the power of medication & distance from the source of your pain #easier said than done #for the latter #but one of my relatives was (and still is) causing a lot of pain in my family #being in another country #and only going home once a year #has really helped my mood #and had allowed me to begin healing that trauma #personal #sending you love

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fideidefenswhore · 2 years

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Consideration for the Princess Mary is thought to have been one of Jane's uppermost [concerns] as she moved into her role as consort, but whether it was simply political or indeed sincere is another question. She apparently approached the subject with Henry just prior to Anne's arrest: 'Mistress Semel [...] suggested that the princess should be placed in her former position; and the king told her she was a fool, and ought to solicit the advancement of the children they would have between them, and not any others. She replied that in asking for the restoration of the Princess she conceived she was seeking the rest and tranquility of the king, herself, her future children and the whole realm; for, without that, neither [Charles V] nor [the English] people would ever be content.' Her concern for Mary may [well] have been genuine, but her timing was impeccable. She safely voiced her concern surrounded by her family and friends at court who opposed the Boleyns. What is interesting in this exchange is the speculation of Jane's motives, combined with the king's reaction: he defined the role he expected her to fit into, in this case, he gave clear indication that she should concern herself with the business of the children she would have with him, not any other. Politics aside, she was expected to produce an heir and focus her attention on the dynastic issue of her future family. At the very least, Henry had convinced himself that there would be children between them and sought to remove her from any central political role to that of consort and mother. Jane was a hope for the future, but Henry set out immediately placing a definition on where her concerns should be and what his expectations obviously were.

Jane, The Quene (Pamela M. Gross)

#the 'them and not any others' would suggest he already had a firmly set mind for how the near-future parliamentary succession act was #going to shape out #also. there wasn't a coup against edward vi. so it would seem she was ; actually; wrong (something not brought up much)#(at least in regards to her future children; that is)#and. frankly. in regards to charles v as well. charles v made an alliance with henry without that. henry well had the measure of that.#(one kind of wonders if her own source for that was chapuys himself. or one of his points of connection/ sources at court thirdhand )#although if his reign had been longer #...who is to say. maybe there would have been one backed by mary. but i think the idea of mary is that she honored henry viii's final #succession act/ will too much to have ever done that (which...eh. she did and she didn't. she certainly didn't wed with parliament's #consent. so)#nor keep her status unchanged re: legitimacy #i don't really believe in weir's theory but the confidence of 'the children they would have between them'... hm. maybe they had consummated #the relationship before marriage? because it almost sounds like he believes on is on its way #*1 #i've outlined that for one of my fics just bcus i think it's more fictionally interesting. whocan really know #i know a lot is made of how so many of his marriages ended (for obvious reasons) but man is this not a particularly romantic beginning #and i don't even mean anne's arrest (altho . clearly that too)#but already calling her a 'fool' ? damn. maybe she had already accepted the proposal or maybe he was letting her know in no unsubtle terms #that he could always make another choice...since officially the betrothal date isn't until may 20 #could do without the woobification of this marriage tbh! hirst and weir i am looking at you's

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