#source: foxtrot

[roguefankc]

It's Flu Season! And because Maverick would be the biggest baby if he got sick...

(Penny, Wolfman, Slider, Merlin, and Hollywood run though the front door of Iceman and Maverick house, with Iceman tiredly sitting on the couch in the living room)

Wolfman: Ice?! what's wrong?! We all got your message that you needed help!

Iceman: It's awful! The whole house is sick! First Hangman came down with the flu, then Phoenix, then Rooster, then Payback, and then all the rest of the Dagger Squad! I was running a sick ward all weekend!

Merlin:...wait, why isn't Maverick helping you?

Iceman (flatly): Because then came Monday...

(Maverick comes out in his bathrobe, hair tousled, pale, clammy, and half-asleep and in his hands a bottle of pills)

Maverick (whining): Ice, honey? Can you open the aspirin for me?

---

(The whole 80s Top Gun team and Penny stay to help Iceman run the house and take care of Maverick and the Dagger Squad)

(Maverick is in bed, weakly ringing a bell)

Maverick (ringing the bell): Slider...

Slider (in the next room helping Coyote): Give me a minute.

Maverick (ringing the bell): Slider...

Slider (in the next room): I said I'm coming!

Maverick (ringing the bell): Slider...

(Slider rushes into Maverick's bedroom in a panic): What?! What?! What?!

Maverick (weakly): My pillow needs poofing.

Slider (eye twitching):...Mitchell, I don't think you want to put a pillow in my hands right now.

---

(Maverick is in bed, whining and gasping for breath)

Maverick (weakly): I'm dying, Hollywood. I'm giving up the ghost. Every cell in my being is crying out in anguish. It was a good life while it lasted, but this is it. Hello, Grim Reaper.

Hollywood (with a bottle of cough syrup and a spoon in his hands): Cut the bullshit. The medicine doesn't taste that bad.

Maverick (weakly):...Goose? Dad? Carol? Is that you?

---

(Maverick is in his bathrobe, still sick, and in Iceman's home office while Iceman is frantically typing away on his keyboard)

Maverick: Ice, sweetie? Can you heat up some chicken soup for me?

Iceman (stressed): Mav, sorry but I'm really busy right now! I need to approve this contract in twenty minutes! Can't you just fend for yourself?

Maverick (whining): But I'm sick, honey...

Iceman: Mav, for fuck's sake, we're not talking brain surgery! All you have to do is open a stupid can and dump it in a pot!

(Maverick disappears into the kitchen and then come back a minute later. In his hands is a pot, and in the pot is a can of chicken soup. The can is open but the contents of the soup are still inside the can)

Maverick: Now what?

Iceman:...now, we talk brain surgery.

---

(Maverick stumbles in the kitchen where Penny, Wolfman, and Merlin are making soup and orange juice for all the Dagger Squad)

Maverick: Is it time for my aspirin yet?

Wolfman: No, Mitchell.

Maverick: But my throat hurts...

Merlin: Maverick, go back to bed. It hasn't been four hours yet.

Maverick: But my head hurts! My joints hurt! My eyes hurt! My body hurts! (in a baby voice) My itty bitty widdle pinkies hurt!

(Penny sighs and opens the aspirin bottle)

Maverick (smirks): I knew I'd win with that one.

Penny: These aren't for you.

(Penny gives two pills to herself, Merlin, and Wolfman and they all gulp them down immediately)

---

(BONUS)

(Cyclone is back at headquarters in his office, feet on his desk with a small glass of bourbon)

Cyclone (smiling): What a peaceful, quiet day.

#incorrect top gun quotes #incorrect top gun maverick quotes #tom iceman kazansky #top gun maverick #incorrect top gun #Leonard Wolfman Wolfe #Ron Slider Kerner #Sam Merlin Wells #Rick Hollywood Neven #Penny Benjamin #source: foxtrot #pete maverick mitchell #maverick would be the biggest baby #phoenix is threating to kick hangman's ass for infecting her #beau cyclone simpson #top gun 1986 #icemav

[incorrect-catcf-quotes]

Mike: (singing and doing air guitar) I got the blues in the morning... The blues all day... The blues in the evening... Every time I want to play... I got the bluuues... The my-parents-won't-buy-me-an-electric-guitar bluuues... Mr. Teavee: And this is supposed to encourage us how?! Mrs. Teavee: (covering her ears) A guitar WOULD drown out his singing.

#mike teavee #mr. teavee #mrs. teavee #incorrect quotes #charlie and the chocolate factory #catcf #source: foxtrot

[incorrect-lucky-star]

*Sojiro is filming Yutaka and Yui digging into their Christmas stockings*

Sojiro: Wait, where's Konata?

*later in Konata's room*

Sojiro: No, I will not greenscreen you in later!

Konata, grumbling as she reluctantly logs out of her computer: George Lucas's kids have it so good.

#lucky star #incorrect quotes #incorrect lucky star #sojiro izumi #yutaka kobayakawa #yui narumi #konata izumi #source: foxtrot

[quotes-from-diamond-city]

Mona: Here's your present from Jimmy.

Wario: A tie!

Mona: This one's from the Crygors.

Wario: A tie!

Mona: This is from Kat and Ana.

Wario: A tie!

9-Volt, sitting off to the side with a giftwrapped tie: We might be in trouble.

18-Volt: For the record, I suggested we get him aftershave!

#warioware #incorrect quotes #incorrect warioware #mona #wario #penny crygor #dr. crygor #kat #ana #9 volt #18 volt #source: foxtrot

[incorrectmlpquotes]

Rainbow Dash: ...And it's said that if you listen, you can still hear the sound of his beating heart!

Rarity: Yawn.

Rainbow Dash: ...and there, dangling from the car door's handle, was a bloody metal hook!

Rarity: Predictable.

Rainbow Dash: ...it wasn't until they got home that they learned the McCoy Lodge had burned down 25 years ago!

Rarity: Face it, Darling. You can't scare me.

Rainbow Dash: ...and when she opened the closet, all the clothes were polyester!

Rarity: AAAA!!!!

Rainbow Dash: I just needed to warm up.

Rarity: Tell me it's not true! Tell me it's not true!

#incorrectmlpquotes #incorrect mlp quotes #incorrect quotes #incorrect my little pony quotes #mlp #mlp:fim #mlp fim #source: foxtrot

[soullessbullshit]

Adusa-daro: Where's Gwendis?

Cassian: She's working on her fighter kite.

Adusa-daro: "Fighter kite?"

Melina: It's big in Akavir. Basically, people attach bits of glass along kite strings and try to cut the strings of the other kites for sport.

Adusa-daro: And Gwendis is doing this why exactly?

Cassian: She seems convinced she can destroy the competition.

[meanwhile, outside...]

Fennorian: I'm pretty sure the chainsaw's too heavy for lift-off.

Gwendis: Check the weather. Maybe there's a tornado coming.

#incorrect quotes #elder scrolls #elder scrolls online #eso #adusa daro #the vestige #vestige oc #vestige cassian lupus #melina cassel #fennorian #gwendis #house ravenwatch #source: foxtrot

[justice-for-jacob-marley]

Tim: Today's 3-14. Cratchit: So it is. Tim: I don't have a watch. Can you let me know when it's exactly 1:59… Cratchit: I'll try. Tim: … And 26 seconds… and 535 milliseconds… and 897 microseconds… and 932 nanoseconds… and 348 picoseconds… does your watch do femtoseconds? Cratchit: There's such a thing as taking pi day too seriously, son.

#Tim the child prodigy #a christmas carol #adele's marley lives au #bob cratchit #tiny tim #incorrect quotes #source: foxtrot

[incorrectnostraightroads]

Tatiana: Where's Mayday?

Zuke: She's working on her fighter kite.

Tatiana: "Fighter kite?"

Zuke: It's big further north. Basically, people attach bits of glass along kite strings and try to cut the strings of the other kites for sport.

Tatiana: And Mayday is doing this why exactly?

Zuke: She seems convinced she can destroy the competition.

[meanwhile, outside...]

Eloni: I'm pretty sure the chainsaw's too heavy for lift-off.

Mayday: Check the weather. Maybe there's a tornado coming.

#incorrect quotes #incorrect no straight roads quotes #tatiana qwartz #zuke #eloni 1010 #mayday #source: foxtrot

[incorrect-anything-quotes]

"Why can't my successes ever be as spectacular as my failures?"

- Squidward Tentacles

#incorrect quotes #incorrect spongebob quotes #squidward tentacles #source: foxtrot

[ultimafangirl]

Elrena: Would you just sit still

Lauriam: I'm trying to keep an eye on Strelitzia

Elrena: So why do you keep moving around?

Lauriam: Because she keeps moving around!

*half way across the room*

KHux player: Isn't that your brother?

Strelitzia: Come on, let's go sit over there.

#elrena #lauriam #khux player #strelitzia #khux #source: foxtrot

[incorrectoldgermanstoriesquotes]

Kaspar: AAAAAA!

Kaspar's mother: What on earth are you screaming about?

Kaspar: Look at my alphabet soup!

(The letter-shaped noodles in the soup spell out the words "HELLO KASPAR".)

Kaspar: I swear I didn't do this! It formed the words on its own! It's like a greeting from the spirit world! Ghosts are real! Ghosts are real! AAAAAA!

Kaspar's mother: Calm down. Random letters are bound to form words every now and then.

Kaspar: But "HELLO KASPAR"?! That's like one in a gazillion!

Kaspar's mother: Kaspar, think about how many bowls of soup you eat in a week.

Kaspar: OK, good point.

#suppenkaspar #kaspars mutter #incorrect quotes #struwwelpeter #source: foxtrot

[incorrect-hs-quotes]

Porrim: What are yo+u do+ing?

Kankri, facing away from a pot on the stove: Since I want this macar9ni t9 c99k as fast as p9ssi6le, I’m deli6erately N9T watching while the water heats up.

Porrim: …

Porrim: Are yo+u familiar with the adage, “a po+t o+n a sto+ yo+u fo+rgo+t to+ turn o+n never bo+ils”?

Kankri: Nice try. Y9u just want me t9 l99k.

#submission #Source: Foxtrot comics #homestuck #incorrect homestuck quotes #porrim maryam #kankri vantas #mod terezi #no no let him cook

[incorrect-catcf-quotes]

(The factory kids are putting on a play of "A Christmas Carol". Mike is playing Ebenezer Scrooge.)

Augustus (dressed up in a big box with a bow on top): Ebenezer Scrooge...

Mike: Are you the second spirit visitor that was foretold?

Augustus: Yes. I am ze Ghost of Christmas Presents.

Mike: I think it's supposed to be "present", as in "present day".

(Augustus checks in a book)

Augustus: I haf got to stop skimming zese cliffs notes.

Mike: There's a bathroom down the hall. You can change there.

#thought I'd combine my new special interest with one of my old ones! #charlie and the Chocolate Factory #catcf #Mike Teavee #augustus gloop #incorrect quotes #source: foxtrot

[silelda]

New Mexico: So how was the dinosaur exhibit?

Florida: Something of a letdown They had these giant robot dinosaurs, but all they did was move their heads and tails and make noise.

New Mexico: What did you expect them to do?

Florida: I kinda envisioned them stomping through the museum eating people. I guess the technology’s just not there yet.

#source: foxtrot by bill amend #wttt #wttt incorrect quotes #wttt new mexico #wttt florida #incorrect wttt

[tigresslanzhu]

More With Nooshy And Johnny As Siblings

Johnny: Change the channel, Nooshy! Broadchurch is on!

Nooshy: Forget it! I’m watching Crime Scene Kitchen! One Monday without your Bri’ish telly won’t kill you!

[Pretends to gag and be stabbed and die]

Nooshy: Right. I suppose if you’re dead, you don’t care if I tickle your knees and and put chocolate covered peanuts up your nose and sit on your face…

Johnny: [gets up] DAD! NOOSHY’S SITTING ON MY FACE!

Marcus: GO TO THE NAUGHTY CORNER, STUPID SON FRIEND! AND NO TELLY EITHER!

Johnny: Ha, ha!

#sing 2021 #sing 2016 #sing nooshy #sing johnny #Johnny and Nooshy as siblings #sing marcus #source: foxtrot comic

[mmmmducks]

Dewey: HEY HEY-

Huey: Shhhh

Huey: *whispering* Louie’s sleeping

Dewey: *now whispering* Sorry

Huey: *still whispering* What’s up?

Dewey: *also still whispering* There’s a fire-

#ducktales 2017 #huey dewey and louie #huey duck #dewey duck #louie duck #source: vine #has anyone done this yet #me working on ducktales things? #it’s more likely than you think #is chapter five of foxtrot trove coming out soon? #maybe #who knows what my motivation will decide