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#source: himym
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Colin: Now let’s be clear, I don’t love Penelope, okay?
Bridgerton Siblings: …
Colin: I just miss her when she’s not around, I think about her all the time, and I imagine us one day running towards each other in slow motion through a field of flowers.
Bridgerton Siblings: *All sighing*
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gfmaximoff · 7 months
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Kate: You live in Russia, right?
Yelena, drunk: All right, first of all, my parents live in Russia.
Yelena: I live in the moment.
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Ahsoka: As your best friend-
Anakin: Obi-Wan’s my best friend.
Ahsoka:
Anakin:
Ahsoka: AS YOUR BEST FRIEND-
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incorrecthatchetfield · 4 months
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Emma: Tom has no idea I'm high
Tom: You're high?
Emma: Oh, pardon me
Emma, leaning over to Paul: Tom has no idea I'm high
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superiorsturgeon · 6 months
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Ren: *sitting with pregnant Nora* …you know, as you and your friends get older and start having children, you sometimes find yourself thinking…
Flashback…
Jaune: *putting up a poster in 1st year JNPR dorm room with a staple gun*
Jaune: *looks down at staple gun* I wonder if my aura would protect me from this?
*staple gun noise*
Jaune: AAAAAAAAAAA-
———————————————————————
Ren: …that guy is a DAD!
Pyrrha: *leaning against Jaune, pregnant with Arkos baby* Yes, I also find myself thinking…
Flashback again…
Nora: *awkwardly waddling out of convenience store, cradling lumpy baby belly*
Clerk: Oh, how adorable! Do you have a name picked out?
Nora: *rubs “baby belly,” causing a clinking sound* Uhh…Six-Pack? 😅
Clerk: …wait a minute…
J_PR: *screech up in a rented van*
Nora: *dives through window carrying shoplifted drinks* Drive, drive, DRIVE!!!
———————————————————————
Pyrrha: …that girl is a MOM!!!
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miae-bee · 2 years
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comic of one of my most liked httyd quotes~
pd: i loved drawing snotlout and idk why
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*Percy and Annabeth are at a restaurant*
Waitress: Be careful the plate is very hot.
Percy: *Staring intently at the plate*
Annabeth: Oh go on, touch it.
Percy: *Touches the plate* AH! Sweet damn that’s a hot plate!!
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fandomnerd9602 · 1 year
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Wanda: I don’t know. I feel like I wanna do something stupid today.
Natasha: Y/N’s stupid. A downright idiot.
Y/N: what the-?! I can’t tell if you’re trying to set me up or put me down.
Natasha: what I want is a little Natalie and you two are perfect for each other! And would make the most adorable kids!
Y/N:
Wanda: wanna go out with me, Y/N?
Y/N: oh yeah
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Nancy: Listen to me, Robin Buckley is many things.
Nancy: Friend. Confidant.
Nancy: Occasional guest star in some confusing dreams that remind me a woman's sexuality is a moving target.
Robin:
Robin: I'm sorry, what?
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liv45no · 4 months
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*everyone feeling pregnant Lily’s belly*
Lily: sorry this is taking so long, he kicked for everybody else.
James: it’s hard for the little guy to perform under pressure.
Sirius: top ten things James said on his wedding night.
Peter: woah! It was small, but I think I felt something!
Remus: top ten things Lily said on her wedding night!
Lily: *laughs*
James: stop laughing at it, Lily!
Everyone: TOP TEN THINGS JAMES SAID ON HIS WEDDING NIGHT!!
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Anthony: As your favorite brother-
Benedict: Colin is my favorite brother.
Anthony:
Benedict:
Anthony: AS YOUR FAVORITE BROTHER-
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[Rooster and Hangman have recently got engaged]
Hangman: *looks at his engagement ring and smirks*
Rooster: Baby, no. I have a twenty-five paged report due on Monday, I barely started,...
Hangman: *casually* Hey, I'm just sitting here. Wearing my ring. My beautiful ring.
Rooster: *stares at him*
Hangman: ...Kind of makes wearing other stuff seem wrong. Like my shirt. Kind of don't wanna wear my shirt anymore.
Rooster: *blinks*
Hangman: Or my underwear.
Rooster: *breathes heavily*
Hangman: *smirks* Oh, that's right! I'm not wearing any.
Rooster: *closing laptop* No underwear?
Hangman: *winks at him* Not even slightly.
Coyote: *sitting one meter from them* GUYS! BOUNDARIES!
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Obi-Wan: Now let’s be clear, I don’t love Satine, okay?
Anakin: ...
Obi-Wan: I just miss her when she’s not around, I think about her all the time and I imagine us one day running towards each other in slow motion in a field of flowers.
Anakin: *sighs and rubs his eyes*
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0dde11eth · 1 year
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Jaskier has had to deal with an entire winter of the wolves shoving it in his face how he's "just a wittle weak human" and its starting to wear on his nerves. One evening they are eating and jaskier finally snaps. Lambert has been pushing his buttons all day about Witcher training and how the bard just can't compete.
Jaskier: Okay, I'll do all those things. You just name the time and the place.
Lambert: Okay, right here after we eat.
Jaskier: And what do I get if I do?
Lambert: What do you want?
Jaskier: I want to touch eskel's boobs.
Lambert: Deal!
Lambert: .....Hey, eskel?
Eskel: Yeah, I heard.
Eskel: OK, I'm game. Here are The Terms: If you can do all that stuff that lambert just listed off,I will let you touch one boob.
Jaskier: Both boobs.
Eskel: Just one.
Jaskier: Touch and squeeze.
Eskel: Just touch.
Jaskier: Touch and motorboat.
Eskel: Just touch.
Jaskier: Honka honka?
Eskel: jaskier you're drooling
Jaskier: Just touch.
Eskel: Just touch.
Jaskier: For one hour.
Eskel: For one second.
Jaskier: 20 minutes, both boobs.
Eskel: Thirty seconds, one boob.
Jaskier: Four minutes, both boobs, three squeezes.
Eskel: One minute, both boobs, one squeeze.
Jaskier: Deal!
Eskel: But... if you can't do everything and I mean everything, then you have to wear Papa vesemirs ugly hat for one year.
Geralt: do I get a say in any of this?
Everyone: NOPE!
Papa vesemir: I like my hat. You're all just mean
Geralt: *internally screaming*
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superiorsturgeon · 5 months
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Pyrrha: *sitting at a hockey game with Jaune, trying to build up courage to say “I love you” for the first time* 😣
Pyrrha: I’m sorry, Jaune…you’re probably wondering why I’ve been so quiet all night…
Jaune: …uh…well…
Literally a minute earlier…
Pyrrha: *on her feet and hammering on the glass* HEY REF!! GO GET THE ****** REMOVED FROM YOUR ***** AND MAYBE YOU’LL MAKE A DECENT CALL FOR ONCE IN YOUR ****ING LIFE!!!! 🤬
Jaune:
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hxuse-xf-black · 11 months
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Regulus, you're forcing me to be the voice of reason! It's not a good image for me.
Sirius Black, probably
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