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#source: malcolm in the middle

Jack: Dad, can I have a story?
Pitch: Once upon a time, there was a little boy that made his dad so crazy he decided to sell him to a circus.
Jack: An evil circus?
Pitch: No, a nice one with monkeys.
Jack: Thank you.

(Wednesday, October 21 - CIRCUS @rotg-halloween)

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[Dante having tiny quarter size pancakes for breakfast with his family.]

Nero: [grimacing at his breakfast.] can I have more pancakes?

Dante: you’ve had ten already Nero, don’t be a pig…

Vergil: *reads newspaper*

Dante: we need to save every penny we can…

Gaila: [pouring orange juice]

Dante: Sweetie, easy on the orange juice that stuff doesn’t grow on tre-… Wait a minute, yes it does! So why is it so damn expensive?

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[Haytham and Connor running to the front door, as Haytham struggles to keep a big wolf spider from escaping the glass he’s trapped it in.]

Haytham: Get the door, get the door, get the door!?

[Connor opens to reveal Ziio holding groceries, who gasps as her husband throws the spider at her, Haytham blanches as Connor quickly slams the door.]

Haytham: Oh my God, did we just-?

[Ziio can be heard screaming through the door.]

Connor: [locks door] Go! Get your keys and go!  

Haytham: But-!

Connor: She can only ground me! Go!  

[Ziio continues to scream, Haytham runs out of the house and has been hiding out in Edward’s attic for the last two days.]

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*the kids found a diving board but don’t know what to do with it*

Lucas: Maybe we’re just going about this the wrong way. We have to think outside the box. If you were a diving board, what would you want someone to do with you?

Villager: Take me ice-skating.

Ness: Don’t be an idiot. That place is freezing, and it’s always so crowded.

Villager: Yes, but they have good hot dogs.

Ness: Those hot dogs suck compared to the ones at the train station.

Villager: Why would a diving board want to go to the train station?

Ness: How should I know? Maybe he wants to visit a relative.

Inkling: Okay! Okay! Back in the box.

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[the boys have built a diving board but don’t know what to do with it]

Phineas: Maybe we’re just going about this the wrong way. We have to think outside the box. If you were a diving board, what would you want someone to do with you?

Baljeet: Take me ice-skating.

Buford: Don’t be an idiot. That place is freezing, and it’s always so crowded.

Baljeet: Yes, but they have good hot dogs.

Buford: Those hot dogs suck compared to the ones at the train station.

Baljeet: Why would a diving board want to go to the train station?

Buford: How should I know? Maybe he wants to visit a relative.

Isabella: Okay! Okay! Back in the box.

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