#source: malcom in the middle

[ficsficsficsallfics]

He Tian: So, you just bought a new bed, just like that.

Mo Guan Shan: He Tian, we had that smelly, saggy old one for 20 years. It's time for a new one.

He Tian: This one is certainly bigger.

Mo Guan Shan: Yeah. It's king-sized. They're a little bigger.

He Tian: So you'll be further away.

Mo Guan Shan: I guess. Maybe a couple inches.

He Tian: So, is that the reason? You want there to be more distance between us?

Mo Guan Shan: He Tian, I didn't really think about the size. It was on sale at Mattress King.

He Tian: I guess you couldn't pass up a deal like that, huh? It's just interesting to learn how it starts.

Mo Guan Shan: How what starts?

He Tian: Hell, first you buy the king-size bed, the largest bed made. But then of course, at some point, even the giant bed doesn't put enough distance between you and the hideous monster. So you start sleeping in another room. Then soon, we're barely exchanging pleasantries, and then one day you say, "He Tian, let's just say what we're both thinking. "And then, I end up eating alone on a Formica table under a swinging light bulb while you, are on a beach in Ibiza being rubbed with cocoa butter by your new lover who you can never get too close to!

Mo Guan Shan: He Tian, it's a bed! The old one was horrible. This one is nice. Look, I know this is a big change for you. So I'm just going to have to think of some way to make you very, very happy in this bed.

He Tian: Good luck! *Stomps away*

#19 days #old xian #mo guan shan #he tian #tianshan #he tian x mo guan shan #source: malcom in the middle

[pra370r1an]

Eda, slamming the door behind her: Who wants to make 5 snails!?

Luz, with King and Hunter watching: How?

Eda: I need someone to take the fall.

Raine, from further in the house: Oh my Titan!

Luz: What did you do!?

Eda: I can't tell you that. Yes or no, no questions asked.

Raine: OH MY TITAN!

Luz: Make it ten.

Eda: Done

Raine: OH MY TITAN!!!

Eda, stopping to hold Luz's shoulder: You're a good daughter.

Eda, grabbing Luz's shirt and hauling her into the house: Honey, I Got Her! I Got Her!

#the owl house #luz noceda #eda clawthorne #edalyn clawthorne #edalyn the owl lady #raine whispers #king clawthorne #hunter noceda #hunter wittebane #toh incorrect quotes #source: Malcom in the Middle

[hchollym]

Fred & George: All you do is bitch!

Percy: I happen to bitch the perfect amount for someone in my situation!

#the situation = being the twin's brother #percy weasley #percy weasley defense squad #hp #incorrect hp quotes #tw: language #source: malcom in the middle

[incorrect-labyrinth]

Toby: Sarah, can I have a story?

Sarah: Once upon a time, there was a little boy that made his sister so crazy she decided to sell him to a circus.

Toby, terrified: An evil circus?

Sarah, guilty: No, a nice one with monkeys.

Toby: Thank you.

#source: malcom in the middle #529 #incorrect labyrinth #labyrinth #labyrinth incorrect quotes #incorrect labyrinth quotes #incorrect labyrinth quote #sarah williams #toby #toby williams

[therulerofallpotatos]

Gomez and Morticia have sat Pugsley down to talk because he has taken a shower

Morticia: Is this going to be a daily thing because we have a sched-

Gomez: Son, are you on drugs? (And if so, what kind and do you have any left?)

#gomez addams #morticia addams #pugsley addams #incorrect addams family quotes #source: malcom in the middle #parentheses added by me #the addams family #wednesday netflix

[anneofgreengablesincorrectquotes]

Davy Keith, at church for the first time: What does the ‘t’ on the wall stand for?

#source: malcom in the middle #incorrect aogg quotes #aogg #anne of green gables #anne of avonlea #anne shirley #davy keith #marilla cuthbert #dora keith #incorrect quotes #incorrect book quotes #incorrect literature quotes #incorrect anne of green gables quotes #admin: marilla

[slashingdisneypasta]

Incorrect Quote

Young Otis: If nothing I do ever has any fucken meaning- then I cant care about fucken anything- which makes me feel fucken worse-

Young Otis: Old man- How am I supposed to ever be happy?!

Captain Spaulding: ... Kid, I'm workin' as a zoo clown. Now buy a giraffe and go to hell.

#this is how otis became how he is 😂😅😂😅😂😅 #Incorrect Quote #Incorrect Quotes #IQs #Horror Villains #Horror Villains Incorrect Quote #Horror Villains Incorrect Quotes #Otis B Driftwood #Captain Spaulding #source: Malcom in the Middle

[shit-the-vampyr-cast-never-said]

Geoffrey: What is it called when you look around and you are not filled with a festering rage?

Sean: Being moderately happy?

Geoffrey: That's it! I am moderately happy.

#Vampyr #Vampyr Incorrect Quote #Geoffrey McCullum #Sean Hampton #source: malcom in the middle

[incorrect-snkquotes]

15 y/o Kyo: Where do babies come from?

Saisyu: Kyo, I’m sure we’ve talked about this.

15 y/o Kyo: Yeah but I’m blanking.

15 y/o Kyo: Two guys, right?

#submission #incorrect quotes #baby kyo mishaps #kyo kusanagi #saisyu kusanagi #source: malcom in the middle #mod kyo #queue

[incorrectmetalfightbeyblade]

Madoka: Anythign you break comes out of your allowance!

Masamune and Yu: We don’t get an allowance.

Madoka: Now you know why.

#beyblade metal fusion #metal fight beyblade #beyblade metal fury #madoka amano #Masamune Kadoya #Yu Tendo #incorrect mfb #source: malcom in the middle

[incorrect-tmnt2012-quotes]

Mikey: Who wants to make fifty bucks?

Donnie: How?

Mikey: I need someone to take the fall.

Raph, from the other room: Oh my god.

Donnie: What did you do?

Mikey: I can't tell you. Yes or no, no questions asked.

Raph, from the other room: Oh my god!

Donnie: Make it a hundred.

Mikey: Deal.

Raph, from the other room: OH MY GOD!

Mikey, to Donnie: You’re a good brother.

Mikey, out loud so Raph can hear: I WAS DONNIE!!

#thank you for the submission <3 #hope you don’t mind I added the rest of the quote cause I love Malcom in the middle #submission #incorrect tmnt quotes #source: malcolm in the middle #tmnt 2012 #tmnt #teenage mutant ninja turtles #michelangelo #donatello #raphael

[ficsficsficsallfics]

Maid: Little Tian, time to get going. Let's put your shoes on.

He Tian: *Runs away screaming*

Maid: Wonder what's gotten into him?

He Cheng: I have no idea *Flashback of him showing He Tian how to tie his shoes* Now pay attention. I'm only going to show this to you one more time. The rabbit comes out of his hole, and runs around the tree. But he won't stop laughing at you. So you grab him by the tail and it rips off in your hand. You follow the trail of blood back to his hole. And then you reach in, pull the rabbit out and then you strangle him! And then you're ready to walk around.

#19 days #old xian #he tian #he cheng #the he brothers #the he family #at the he house #source: malcom in the middle

[citrineleaf]

Devineaux: Where did you get twenty bucks? Player: What are you, a cop?

#source; Malcom in the middle #carmen sandiego incorrect quotes #carmen sandiego #carmen sandeigo #carmen sandiego 2019 #carmen sandeigo 2019

[jasperarsonaurelia]

Livia : who wants to make fifty bucks?

Amy : how?

Livia : I need someone to take the fall

Amy : what did you do?

Livia : I can't tell you. Yes or no, no questions asked

Alexia, from the other room : oh my god

Livia :

Alexia : OH MY GOD!

Amy : make it a hundred

Livia : deal

#fic — st. [unnamed] #oc — livia astor parker #oc — alexia astor parker #oc — amy astor parker #family — the astor parker #source : malcom in the middle #— incorrect quotes

[shadowisbored]

How I love you, obscure blorbos 🙏

Bastard of the week is

Francis Wilkerson

Source: Malcom in the middle

Hot mess blorbo <3

#francis wilkerson #malcom in the middle #obscure #my blorbo #hes so handsome #i love when men #trouble maker #in a /pos way #mitm #mitm brainrot #his smile is so pretty

[incorrectquotesmcu]

That last one the Bartons of why aren’t the kids hurting each other

Before I saw the source was Modern Family

I thought would’ve been from Malcom in the middle

I’ve never watched that show, maybe there’s a similar scene?

I don’t know the exact ep but I think that scene is from one of the first seasons of Modern Family.

#stephanie answers #tylermaximums13