Yelena: I don’t know where my bra went?
Kate: Yeah, you ran out into the street, took it off, and yelled “I’M A FREE WOMAN!!”
Yelena:
Natasha: And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Y/N: Drunk you is amazing!
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Athena: Dear friends, your Christmas gift this year… is me. That’s right, another year of friendship. Your membership has been renewed.
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Lan Wangji [@ Lan Jingyi]: please don't ironically join a cult.
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Leon: I’m face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real
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"I got kicked out of Barnes and Noble because I put all the bibles in the fiction section."
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Ziyal: He's yummy
Julian: HE'S GAY. AND 50.
Ziyal: Irrelevant
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Overhaul: I’m stealing this baby.
Chronostasis: Well, I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
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Stephen: I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
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Hei-Ran, texting Kuruk's phone: Where are you guys?
Nyahitha: Drunk
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Hephaestus: Another girl on Tinder just asked about "the hotter guy" in my pictures. I fucking hate being Ares's brother.
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Jin Ling: [texting at the club] We're leaving where are you?
Lan Jingyi: Hold on, "Toxic" just started playing.
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