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suddenlystolen · 2 years

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hey! I loved your post about Xue Yang's courtesy name, and I was wondering - do you know anything about how Su Minshan's courtesy name would be translated, or whether it's 'sourced' from somewhere (like xy's is)?

Ahaha so if I'm going to talk about Su Minshan's courtesy name, then I won't be able to stop myself from talking about his personal name and his sword Nanping as well! Hope you don't mind ><

But what I find really interesting is that all these names associated with him can be interpreted multiple ways.

TLDR;

Su She: Ford through waters/interrupt/meddle

Su Minshan: harboring sorrow and goodness/ compassion and goodness/ goodness drawn from sorrow

Nanping: unrest (emotionally)/ hard to be an equal (i.e. match someone's ability)/ hard to create equality (in society)/ hard to quell (specifically unrest in society)

All in all, I feel that these names really capture the sheer intensity and inner turmoil of Su Minshan's character, and the wildly different directions he feels pulled in.

I'll be dumping my interpretation and analysis of the names he was given, and the name he gave to his sword under the cut!

Personal Name: Su She (苏涉)

The 涉 in Su She’s name originally was used to describe walking through waters (e.g. 涉江 shejiang walk through a river). It later changed to broadly mean “to involve“ (as in the phrase 涉及 sheji), or even to meddle (干涉 ganshe). I'd say it's perfect for a character that seems to always have a hand somehow in the lives of the main characters of the plot, and who is trying to shake things up.

Courtesy Name: Su Minshan (苏悯善)

It’s meanings when read by itself:

悯 (Min) — can mean two things. One is to harbour sorrow (when used in the phrase min mo 悯默). Another is to feel compassion for someone in a worse situation (as used in the phrase lian min 怜悯)

善 (Shan) — kindness/goodness

Thus, by itself, his courtesy name can either be:

An acknowledgement that his is a life of both sorrow and compassion

An urging of him him to practice both sympathy and compassion in his life

Or even a suggestion that a source which Su Minshan can draw his compassion through empathy is from his own sorrows

Possible saying that his courtesy name is drawn from

I personally feel that it’s likely that Su Minshan was given his courtesy name from this saying from Li Ying Chang’s Treatise On the Response of the Tao.

Caveat that we’ll never know as MXTX has never confirmed it. This is just my guess and you can judge if it’s convincing! But it does have all the characters of Su Minshan’s courtesy name inside it.

宜悯人之凶，乐人之善，济人之急，救人之危。 Yi Min Ren Zhi Xiong, Le Ren Zhi Shan, Ji Ren Zhi Ji, Jiu Ren Zhi Wei。

It roughly translates to: Feel sympathy for a person’s evil, rejoice in a person’s goodness, rescue them in their time of need, save them from danger.

First Half of the Saying:

Feel sympathy for a person’s evil, rejoice in a person’s goodness.

It’s very interesting to evaluate Su Minshan’s actions through this saying. How does Su Minshan respond to the evil within others — such in Jin Zixun who insulted him, compared to Jin Guangyao who relies on him as an accomplice for his crimes?

How does he respond to those who have been good to him? Such as Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji — who’ve saved him at least twice: from being sucked in by the waterborne abyss, and by aiding his escape in the cave of the tortoise of slaughter? (Though both times he embarrasses himself spectacularly with his incompetence......) Compared to how he responds to Jin Guangyao who remembered his name and gave him an out when he was being humiliated by Jin Zixun?

Meta-textually, it’s also fun to think about whether we should apply the maxim of “feeling sympathy for a person’s evil, rejoicing in a person’s goodness” to Su Minshan himself!

Second Half of the Saying:

rescue them in their time of need, save them from danger.

But also, delving into the second half of the saying, it’s interesting to think about the lives whom Su Minshan jeopardises — such as the cultivators gathered during the Second Siege of the Burial Mound and even his own Sect’s disciples. But also whose life he will rescue at any cost (Jin Guangyao once again). What actually drives his choices of who he saves or sabotages?

Su Minshan’s Sword: Nanping 难平 — Unrest

The name that Su Minshan gives his sword is also deeply meaningful — a reflection of his varied motivations. It’s just like how Jin Guangyao’s sword Hensheng can be interpreted multiple ways that parallels his journey and change as a person. Hensheng can mean birth of hatred, hatred grows, hating life, hating my lot in life — because of the varied meanings of the word sheng.

Su Minshan’s sword, likewise, has a few meanings. It’s a phrase composed of two word 难nan and 平ping. 难 nan means difficult (though the question is difficult for who)? 平 ping at its most basic means flatten, but it can mean a number of things, from peace, to parity, to fairness and equality, and even to suppress.

Altogether, the name of Su Minshan’s sword Nan Ping can be read as a personal expression of self-loathing or devotion. It can also be read as a political statement of the existence of inequalities in cultivation society, or even an oath that he’ll disrupt the existing order.

Personal Meanings of Nanping

1. Nanping as a Unrest in the Soul The most common use of the term 难平 nanping in everyday language is in the phrase 意难平 yi nan ping. It’s evoked in literary works like in a famous line from Dream of the Red Chamber (but also as an internet meme lol). Yi Nan Ping means “sentiment hard to quell”. It’s a thought, a memory or a feeling that you hold within you, that you simply cannot let go of, that you keep returning to time and time again.

Based on this meaning of Nanping, you can read it as an expression of Su Minshan’s obsessive jealousy and sense of inferiority towards Lan Wangji. Nanping, after all, is his second sword. He lost his first sword to the waterborne abyss where he had to be rescued by Lan Wangji. Perhaps this humiliating memory was what was on Su Minshan’s mind when he got his second sword and had to name it.

But Yi Nan Ping doesn’t necessarily have to be something petty that you find hard to let go of. It could also be feelings of love and devotion. For instance, coincidentally, Jiang Yanli’s character song for CQL is called Yi Nan Ping. It’s full of love and tenderness, where she longs for the peaceful days that she, her brother and Wei Wuxian spent in Lotus Pier before the war. You could read Nanping as referring to how Su Minshan likewise cannot forget that first act of kindness that Jin Guangyao showed him, and thus cannot stop himself from repaying him over and over for that act.

2. Nanping as an acknowledgement of Inferiority However, there’s another way to read the word 平 ping in the name nanping — where ping would mean parity. Where 难 Nan still means hard, Nanping can thus be interpreted again as Su Minshan’s own admission that it will be hard for his own capabilities to match that of Lan Wangji’s.

Political Meanings of Nanping

3. Nanping as Inequalities hard to Surmount in Society At the same time, the word 平 ping in Nanping can mean “equality”, such as in the phrase pingdeng 平等. Or it can mean “fair” as in the phrase gongping 公平.

Thus, Nanping can be interpreted as Su Minshan asserting that it will be hard for him to be treated as an equal in society or receive fairness. This would tie into Su Minshan’s allegations that he was treated unfairly while he was part of the Lan Sect, as well as his broader criticisms that outer Sect members are treated unfairly, compared to inner Sect members who are linked to the main bloodline of the Sect.

4. Nanping as Unrest in Society

Finally, the Ping in Nanping can mean to suppress, such as in the phrase pingpan 平叛, meaning suppress a revolt. This would be read almost as an oath by Su Minshan that he will disrupt the status quo in cultivation society, and that it will be hard for others to put him down.

Therefore, in that moment when Su Minshan’s sword Nanping breaks when it shatters against Lan Wangji’s Bichen as he tries to attack Wei Wuxian, it’s really interesting to think about the ways in which his sword — and in extension the things that he's done with it — has or has not lived up to the idea of Nanping. And which of the meanings of Nanping came true (or did not?)

I think it also feeds into the question — was all of Su She/Su Minshan's life nothing but vain strivings for that which he would never attain, tainted by all his sins? Or was it ultimately worth something, because he stayed loyal to someone to the bitter end?

Who can say for sure...

#MDZS meta #MDZS Metas #MDZS Name Meta #Su She #Su Minshan

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nillegible · 3 years

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Jin Zixun accidentally saves canon, Part2

(Read part one of the fic, here!)

“Did you hear? The Yiling Patriarch killed Jin-er-gongzi, and dragged away his corpse.”

Jiang Cheng might not have been the intended listener, but he has no qualms in stalking toward the cultivator who was speaking. Pale green robes with white accents, he must be from Laoling Qin. Jiang Cheng doesn’t take him by the collar, but his fingers twitch. He definitely wishes to.

“What did you say?” he asks.

From the expression of abject terror that crosses the other man’s face, Jiang Cheng didn’t do a particularly good job at appearing non-threatening.

“Jian-Jiang-zongzhu. I. Jiang-zongzhu, it was. They’re all saying.”

“That Wei Wuxian killed Jin Zixun and took away his corpse? When did he even get here? Where did he drag him away from?”

“Ah, no. It wasn’t. Jiang-gongzi must know I don’t speak for Jin sect, but it wasn’t here.”

Jiang Cheng considers shaking a more coherent answer out of this coward, but decides against it. Gods knew what nonsense he would actually spout. No, he needs a better source, he needs Shijie.

Protocol forgotten, he storms into Koi Tower.

Oooh, Jiang-xiong looks furious. Jiang Wanyin had stormed into Carp tower like a small purple thundercloud. He’s taller than Yu-furen was and less delicate looking, but one could absolutely see that Jiang-xiong was his mother’s son. The air even smelled electric when he strode by, purple sleeves billowing elegantly.

Where is Jiang-xiong going, making quite so much of a display? Huaisang directs his casual wandering in his wake, stretching his cultivation senses to keep track of him when he storms out of view. He wonders if this is about the rumours that have been slowly spreading from the anxious and guilty looking Jin cultivators. And there are so many, oddly many, low-level cultivators who can’t have all been invited at this time for the naming-day ceremony, it was gauche. So much yellow, they interfere with the decorations.

“Whatever did Jin-gongzi do this time to anger Jiang-zhongzu so much? Ah, I’d hoped a nephew would mellow him,” Nie Huaisang complains, or something along those lines to the most disgruntled people he crosses, with a laugh and conspiratorial smile. The reminder of Jiang-xiong’s rather Extra tendencies seems to put people at ease, and Nie Huaisang sails through, keeping an eye out for anyone who might actually matter.

He sees Lan Wangji, who, in spite of the way he stands separate from the crowd like a drop of water on a lotus leaf, definitely matters. Nie Huaisang makes his way towards him.

“What nonsense is everyone spouting about Wei Wuxian and Jin Zixun?” Jiang Cheng demands, bursting into Jin Zixuan’s office, where the wary Jin disciples had directed him.

“Jiang-gongzi!” says Jin Guangyao, the first to stand, just as Jin Zixuan says, “Jiang Wanyin, you’re here!”

Jin Zixuan says, after a beat, “Wei Wuxian and the Ghost General were seen taking my cousin away.”

“Surely even he couldn’t attack and cart someone off from Koi Tower. What would he even want from Jin Zixun?”

“It wasn’t from Koi Tower, he didn’t reach here,” says Jin Zixuan. “It was on the way.”

“Explain,” says Jiang Cheng.

“A-Yao will explain,” says Jin Zixuan. His voice is colder than Jiang Cheng has become accustomed to hearing it.

“Jin Zixun was cursed. It was the hundred holes curse. He got it into his head that Wei-gongzi had to be the one who did it. I only found out this morning, but he – he went to waylay Wei-gongzi and demand that he remove the curse.”

“Leaving aside the absolute idiocy of Wei Wuxian being the one to curse him, why would Wei Wuxian then kidnap him? Maybe he actually knows a way to remove that curse, and Jin Zixun’s gone back with him.”

“Ah, it wasn’t quite so amicable as that–” Jin Guangyao looks towards Jin Zixuan, but when he doesn’t take over the explanation he continues, “Jin Zixun took three hundred archers with him –”

“THREE HUNDRED archers? Why would the Jin sect send a full battalion to ask Wei Wuxian to remove a curse?”

Jin Guangyao’s voice, which was already quiet, lowers further, “I believe that the show of strength was only meant to make Wei-gongzi give Jin-er-gongzi his due consideration. Wei-gongzi doesn’t always listen.”

“That is not what you told me,” Jin Zixuan says.

“He may… he may have planned to end the curse in a different way if Wei Wuxian didn’t comply,” says Jin Guangyao, finally.

Jiang Cheng tries to choke back his rage. How dare they! “If it turns out that Wei Wuxian has been harmed, Jin sect will not be forgiven,” Jiang Cheng threatens. “He may not be of my sect anymore, but to ambush him and try to kill him on such a stupid pretence, after you invited him to my own nephew’s ceremony! As if Wei Wuxian would not kill Jin Zixun himself if he had wanted him dead, and reanimate his corpse!” Jiang Cheng knows what happens to those his brother punishes. Jiang Cheng had joined him, in exacting their vengeance against Wen Chao, Wang Lingjiao, and Wen Zhuliu.

“Jiang-zonghzhu, seems to be planning to do that, now. They say he carried Jin-er-gongzi’s body away,” says Jin Guangyao. Implicit in that is what foul things Wei Wuxian is known to do with corpses.

Jiang Cheng just can’t believe it. In a rage at the people who had murdered Wen Ning? Perhaps. But to kill Jin Ling’s uncle on his special day? Wei Wuxian would know better! And there’s more that doesn’t make sense. “How did Wei Wuxian kill Jin Zixun? You said he took a whole battalion!” Even if Wei Wuxian had killed half of them, it’s unlikely he could get away, especially if they were archers.

“Ah. Uh. Wei-gongzi did not kill him. The Jin archers shot him.”

It takes Jiang Cheng a moment. “The Jin archers shot Jin Zixun?” he turns to Jin Zixuan for confirmation. His brother-in-law looks miserable and angry, but nods. “How the hell did.” Jiang Cheng is out of words. “Do you not train your disciples to aim?”

“Faced with the Yiling Patriarch, one of the younger disciples may have been afraid? As far as I gathered they were actually aiming for Wei-gongzi,” – Jin Guangyao winces as Zidian sparks – “but he ducked, and so Jin Zixun was shot.”

“He ducked,” repeats Jiang Cheng, looking between Jin Guangyao and Jin Zixuan, who don’t disagree with that frankly ridiculous assessment. They have to be joking. Or worse, they have to be lying. And if they’re lying to his face, then who knows what really happened? Jiang Cheng bows lightly to his brother-in-law. “Jin-gongzi, I take my leave of you. My apologies for missing Jin Ling’s celebration, but if I’m lucky, I can fetch Wei Wuxian and be back in time to meet my nephew and my sister before they retire from the feast. I know how much A-jie was looking forward to seeing our brother.” Jin Zixuan winces at that, no doubt imagining explaining to Jiang Yanli that his stupid cousin had tried to murder her brother.

That’s Jin Zixuan’s problem though. Jiang Cheng is going to fly to the Burial Mounds and his brother’s awful little encampment, and shake him until he gets some answers.

He ducked.

Which meant, at the least, that Wei Wuxian was being shot at. Stupid, I told you I couldn’t protect you, and this is what you get up to? Jiang Cheng had thought his brother would keep his head down until people forgot about him! Some sort of self-imposed imprisonment that kept him out of everyone’s way. That was why he wasn’t even invited to the wedding. Stupid, stupid Wei Wuxian.

As Jiang Cheng sweeps out the doors of the main hall, he sees Lan Wangji, looking stiff, and if Jiang Cheng isn’t just projecting, angry. He meets Jiang Cheng’s eyes and weaves his way closer.

“Jiang-zongzhu.”

“Hanguang Jun,” returns Jiang Cheng. On any other day he’d wait and glare until the second jade spoke his mind, not making it any easier for him. Today, he hasn’t the patience. “If you’ll olease make my excuses to Lan-zongzhu, but I will be unable to greet him. I need to go to Yiling and find my–” he realizes with a jolt that he’d called Wei Wuxian brother too many times today in conversation already. “-Wei Wuxian. There’s all sorts of rumours flying about, I don’t like it.”

“I will come with you,” says Lan Wangji.

Jiang Cheng eyes him. “If Hanguang Jun believes me incapable of judging Wei Wuxian if he is at fault today–” he snarls, but is cut off by a sharp gesture from Lan Wangji. And what might even be a real emotion on his face.

“Wei Ying would not have,” he says, with a certainty that even Jiang Cheng could not feel. Jiang Cheng hates how much he appreciates the words. “Let me come.”

Jiang Cheng should say no, should say that Wei Wuxian was his responsibility.

‘Just Let me go. Tell the world that I defected. From now on, whatever Wei Wuxian does, it would have nothing to do with Yunmeng Jiang sect.’

“Fine,” says Jiang Cheng. “Just keep up.”

He knows from experience, as he takes off into the sky, that Lan Wangji can keep up.

#Shitty!JZX #Jiang Cheng #jzx #jgy #canon divergence #fix it au

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bookofjin · 3 years

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Rise of Sixteen States: 306

Li Xiong declares himself Emperor of Cheng.

Meanwhile Sima Yue wins the Jin civil war, and the Jin emperor dies.

31 January 306 – 18 February 307

(Jin's 1st Year of Guanxi)

(Han's 3rd Year of Yuanxi)

(Cheng's 1st Year of Yanping)

[2nd Month], jiazi [8 March], [the King of Donghai,] Yue dispatched his generals Qi Hong, Song Zhou, Sima Zuan and others to welcome the Emperor.

Summer, 4th Month, the King of Hejian, Yong dispatched the Grand Warden of Hongnong, Peng Sui, and the Grand Warden of Beidi, Diao Mo, to resist Qi Hong and others at Hu.

5th Month, renchen [4 June], Qi Hong and others fought with Diao Mo. Mo was greatly defeated. Yong and Ying ran for the Southern Mountains, and fled to Wan. The Xianbei in Hong and others' section greatly plundered Chang'an, killing more than 20 000 people.

6th Month, bingchen [28 June], New Moon, [the Emperor] arrived from Chang'an and ascended the old hall, with mournful emotion and flowing tears

Winter, 10th Month [22 November – 21 December], the Minister of Works, the King of Fanyang, Xiao, passed a away. Xiao's Senior Clerk, Liu Yu, murdered the King of Chengdu, Ying.

11th Month, gengwu [8 January], the Emperor collapsed in the Xianyang Hall. At the time he was 48 years old.

(Liu Yuan)

3rd Year of Yuanxi [306 AD], Winter, 12th Month [1 January 306 – 30 January], used his General of the Van, Liu Jing as Envoy Holding Tally, Great Chief Controller of Conquering and Chastising. He intercepted and struck the Inspector of Bing province, Liu Kun, at Banqiao [“Ban Bridge”], and was defeated by Kun. Kun thereupon occupied Jinyang. His Palace Attendant Liu Yin and Brilliantly Blessed Grandee of the Right Wang Yu advanced to admonished Yuan, saying:

Your Highness, since [you] raised troops and onwards, bit by bit there has already been a single cycle, yet [we have] solely defended merely a region, the kingly power is not yet shaking. If indeed [you] were able to instruct the generals to set out in four directions and determine the moment with a single throw, to put on display Liu Kun's head, settle East of the He, establish the title of Emperor, strike the drums to march and go south, overcome Chang'an then make the capital there, and use the multitudes of Guanzhong to roll up Luoyang, is like pointing to your palm, that is all. These were means by which August Emperor Gao created and began the vast foundation, overcoming and exterminating strong Chu.

Yuan was pleased and said:

This is in an Orphan's heart.

Yuan advanced to occupy Hedong. He attacked and robbed Puban and Pingyang, both were lost to him. Yuan thereupon entered to have his capital at Puzi. The counties, ramparts and fortifactions belonging to Hedong and Pingyang fully surrendered.

(WS001 & WS095: 11th Year [305 AD], Liu Yuan attacked Sima Teng. Teng again begged for troops. Emperor Huan [Tuoba Yitou] personally led 10 000 light cavalry to save Teng, he beheaded Yuan's general Qiwu Tun. Yuan fled south to Puzi.)

(JS062: Liu Yuan at the time was at Lishi, the distance between them was more or less 300 li Kun secretly dispatched to go among the assorted miscreants of his section. The surrendered were more than 10 000 groups. Yuan was very much afraid. He thereupon walled Puzi and settled there.)

(Li Xiong)

1st Year of Yanping [“Cloudless Peace”], 3rd Month [31 March – 29 April], Fan Changsheng drove in a plain cart to go to Chengdu from Xishan [lit. “Western Mountain”]. Xiong welcomed him at the great gate, held an official's tablet and led him in to sit. Changsheng requested Xiong sit face to face. Then he was designated Imperial Chancellor and was venerated as Fan the Worthy. Changsheng urged Xiong to declare the venerated title.

His junior cousin Zhi was Liu's son. Since he did not accompany the ranked order, he executed him.

Summer, 6th Month [28 June – 26 July], Xiong hence presumptuously acceded to the Emperor's throne. A great amnesty, and changed the year [to Yanping]. The state was titled Great Cheng. He retroactively venerated his father Te as the Luminous [jing] Emperor, with the temple title First Founder [shizu]. His mother, Ms. Luo, became August Empress Dowager.

(JS004: 2ndYear [of Yongxing], … 6th Month [8 July – 6 August 305], … Li Xiong presumptuously acceded to the Emperor's throne, the state was titled Shu. … 8th Month [5 September – 4 October 305], Li Xiong dispatched his general Li Xiang# to rob Han'an.)

(Since other sources agree that Li Xiong declared himself emperor in 306, JS004 appear to be mistaken in placing it in the year before, in 305. Li Xiang#'s attack on Han'an is not recorded in other sources, so it is unclear if this event should then also be moved to 306, 8thMonth [26 August – 23 September 306].)

10thMonth[22 November – 21 December], added to Fan Changsheng to be Grand Teacher of Heaven and Earth (HYGZ: Grand Teacher of the Four Seasons, the Eight Nodes, Heaven and Earth), ennobled Marquis of Xishan (WS: King of Xishan). Also his private retinue was not to prepare for army campaigns, and their taxes and levies were all to enter his household.

(HYGZ: [Fan] the Worthy's name was Changsheng [“Long Life”], one name him Yanjia [“Lengthy-lasting”], and also name him Jiuzhong [“Nine-Doubled”]. One calls him Zhi, courtesy name Yuan. He was a native of Danxing in Fuling.)

(The “Eight Nodes” of the year were the equinoxes, the solstices, and the beginning of each season.)

Xiong at the time had roughly began to establish a state, and habitually had no laws or systems. The various generals put their confidence in his graciousness, and each contended for the distributed ranks. His Prefect of the Masters of Writing, Yan Shi, sent up a missive, saying:

In all cases when making a state's regulations and laws, it is always best to continue the old. In the former affairs of Han and Jin, only the Grand Commandant and the Great Marshal managed troops. The Grand Tutor and Grand Guardian were offices for a father or older brother, posts for discussing the Way. The Minister over the Masses and the Minister of Works were in charge of the five teachings and the proportions of the nine soils. Qin set up the Imperial Chancellor with overall leadership of the ten thousand moments. At the end of Wu of Han, he went beyond to use the Great General to control government affairs.

Now state and patrimony are just now founded, and all the hundred are not yet ready. When the various excellencies and great generals are distributed rank proportionally, they yield and then warily request to arrange and set up. This and the standards of the past odes do not correspond, [we] should establish rules and norms to use as models and systems.

Xiong followed him.

(Record of Past and Present Blades and Swords: Li Xiong of Later Shu in the 1st Year of Yanping made 500 blades, the text said “Mount the Horse” in the clerical script.)

(Zhang Gui)

1st Year of Guanxi [306 AD], Emperor Hui collapsed. He dispatched Senior Clerk Beigong Chun, Marshal Zhang Zuan, Separate Carriage Yin Jian to offer a petition at the Imperial Capital.

That Year, he greatly walled Guzang. Its walls had originally been built by the Xiongnu, south to north they were 7 li and east to west 3 li long. The ground had a dragon-like shape, and for that reason it was named Wolong [“Sleeping Dragon”] City.

Earlier, at the end of Han, the Broad Scholar Hou Jin of Dunhuang spoke to the people of his group, saying:

Later, the spring water west of the city will dry up, and there will be a pair of watch towers erected on its bank, they and the eastern gate will gaze on each other. From their middle there will be a hegemon setting out.

Arriving at the middle of Wei's Jiaping era [249 – 253], the commandery officials indeed erected a school building, and built a pair of watch towers beside the spring. They and the eastern gates actually gazed on each other.

Also there was a guest who appraised [his?] seal and said:

Fortune will transmit to the sons and grandsons, and the oldest will have the Western Xia. When the Passes and Luo are overturned and lost, the lands of Liang alone will be kept whole.

Reaching this point, the Zhang clan thereupon were hegemons in Hexi [“West of the He”].

#r16s #chinese history

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foularcadebanana · 3 years

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Keeping Your Promise

Prompt for Day 21 ‘Rustle’ and Day 22 ‘Warmth’ for the Untamed Fall Fest 2020. Listen, I spent like two days trying to make this readable, so enjoy the feels-storm!

Summary: Wei Wuxian may not have kept his promise, but Jiang Cheng makes sure to keep his.

Wei Wuxian knew that he had lost all rights of calling Jiang Cheng his brother. He had broken the promise that had meant most to him, and so he couldn’t expect Jiang Cheng to keep all of his, even after 16 years, could he?

He knew he was too old for this particular fear, that it had been too long, so long since Jiang Cheng had protected him from it. But he hadn’t been able to help himself. His reflexes and mouth had worked before his brain had, in thinking and stopping himself.

Wei Wuxian had known his day would go bad. There was a feeling in his chest that he had learned to trust from experience. It was in the rustle of the leaves in the wind, the way all of the shopkeepers paved the way for Wei Wuxian and his posse. His posse included his gorgeous Lan Zhan, his precious son, Lan Sizhui, that one Lan Wei Wuxian adored, Lan Jingyi, the romantic, Ouyang Zizhen, his sensitive yet bratty nephew, Jin Ling, and the bratty nephew’s ‘jiujiu’, Jiang Cheng. Wei Wuxian didn’t know how he had managed to gather so many people in one place, but they were going on a night hunt.

The hunt was for a ferocious monster so none of the senior members of their teams had let the juniors go on the night hunt alone. Even Jin Ling, being a sect leader as he was now, knew better than to argue with Jiang Cheng about this. So, things were going peacefully so far. They had the Jin Clan, Jiang Clan and Lan Clan disciples with them. There had been no need for them to think that any other clans would join them, but they had been wrong, apparently.

“That’s quite the search party you have there,” A familiar voice said. As all heads turned, a figure appeared, waving a fan close to his face.

“Ah, Nie-xiong!” Wei Wuxian delightedly clapped him on the shoulder.

“It’s nice to see you too Wei-xiong,” Nie Huisang smirked. Then he looked at Jiang Cheng. “Jiang-xiong,” he said with a nod of his head.

“Huaisang,” Jiang Cheng nodded back. Nie Huaisang’s lips twitched slightly at the greeting as he stepped forward.

He bowed to Lan Zhan first. “Hanguang-Jun.” Then to Jin Ling. “Sect Leader Jin.”

Jin Ling glanced over at Jiang Cheng and Jiang Cheng gave him an imperceptible nod of the head. Jin Ling blinked and turned to face Nie Huaisang, greeting him with a bow too. “Sect Leader Nie.”

It turned out that the Nie Sect had heard about the hunt too. The monster had entered all of their clans’ territories which meant that all four of their clans had a reason to be on the night hunt. Wei Wuxian felt like the entire family was finally together, and he couldn’t be happier. Some of the rest of the people in their group didn’t seem as happy as him though.

He watched as the Jiang clan and Nie clan walked together, with Nie Huaisang chattering with Jiang Cheng, while Jiang Cheng eyed Lan Zhan and his disciples warily. They kept their distance from the Lan disciples. The Jin clan walked behind Jin Ling, who was in an animated discussion with his friends but staying in close range of Jiang Cheng. So, the Jin disciples walked close to the Jiang and Nie disciples.

Wei Wuxian observed as most of the Jin and Jiang disciples talked to each other with easy familiarity, and the Nie disciples seemed to join in with the flow of the conversation too. Wei Wuxian wished the Lan disciples could socialise too. But he was sure there had to be rules against that too, especially during night hunts.

He knew of the strict rules against men and women mingling during night hunts so it made sense that the Lans stayed separate since the rest of the three clans had no such rules and there were several women on the night hunt. Wei Wuxian also realised that he had been unknowingly drifting towards the Jiang clan. A gentle tap from Lan Zhan brought him back to their group. He swallowed heavily and shook his head, trying to pull his attention away from Jiang Cheng, and his conversation with Nie Huaisang. But then he began to focus on the discussion of the juniors instead.

“Wei Ying?” Lan Zhan enquired.

“I’m fine, Lan Zhan, it’s fine.” Wei Wuxian tried to smile for Lan Zhan, before a sound stopped him. “Wait. Does anyone hear that?”

His voice had been loud enough to silence the rest of the voices.

“Wei Wuxian, what are you hearing? Are you beginning to hallucinate now?” Jiang Cheng asked with a scowl. Well, at least he was talking to Wei Wuxian, he would take that as a step closer to reconciling with him.

“I don’t hear anything, either,” Jin Ling said, crossing his arms and wearing a similar scowl to Jiang Cheng. “You must be going deaf.”

Before Wei Wuxian could respond, he heard the sound again. His eyes widened, and he glanced over at Jiang Cheng before he could help himself. Jiang Cheng was staring back at him with an undecipherable expression on his face. “I’ll go take a look at it,” he said, his voice surprisingly soft.

“Jiang Cheng!” Wei Wuxian stepped forward, reaching out and grabbing a hold of his sleeve. “I’m coming with you.”

“Wei Wuxian—” Jiang Cheng started.

“Don’t. I’m coming.” Wei Wuxian spoke firmly.

“Me too,” Jin Ling spoke up.

“A-Ling,” Jiang Cheng tried, but to no avail.

“No, Jiujiu. I’m coming with you.” Jin Ling said, just as stubborn as both of his uncles, Wei Wuxian mused.

“Alright then, let’s go!” Wei Wuxian suddenly piped up. “The rest of you, stay here,” he added for the junior disciples’ benefit, “and wait for the signal, which will probably be one of our screams.”

With that Wei Wuxian cheerfully joined Jiang Cheng and Jin Ling, catching both of their eyerolls in the process. As they cautiously walked ahead, Wei Wuxian strained his ears to hear the sound. The three of them had disappeared from the view of the rest of the people on the hunt when they heard the sound again.

It was a sound that made fear crawl up Wei Wuxian’s spine and a cold sweat break out across his forehead. His chest rose and fell fast, his heart beating louder and faster. A dog. It was a dog’s bark. He could recognize it anywhere.

Suddenly, all Wei Wuxian could see was a dog chasing him across one of the docks of Lotus Pier, and Jiang Cheng stepping in front of him before he could fall into the water. Wei Wuxian could still remember the scolding the owner of the dog had received from Jiang Cheng. Nobody had dared to make the mistake of even being seen with a dog anywhere near Wei Wuxian after that.

Wei Wuxian had clung onto Jiang Cheng so tightly, sobbing so hard, that it had taken Jiang Cheng hours to calm him down and finally let go of his robes.

Thoughts of what the dog could do to him and the ways he could tear into Wei Wuxian and his robes, made him scream out loud. “A-Cheng! A-Cheng, A-Cheng, A-Cheng!!!” Tears welled up in Wei Wuxian’s eyes and purple robes swam into his vision seconds later. He clutched those robes tightly before he could think otherwise. “Save me, please, A-Cheng. Please! He’s going to— going to kill me. I— I—”

“A-Xian.” Those familiar arms wrapped around him, keeping him upright, and that familiar voice reassured him. “A-Xian, I’ve got you. I’ve got you. I’m here. You’re safe. You’re going to be alright, okay?”

Wei Wuxian tried to take deep breaths in as he heard Jiang Cheng ratting off instructions to Jin Ling. “Take the dog away from here. Make sure he doesn’t come anywhere around this area again and take a few people with you when you go. Take your Lan friends and the Ouyang kid.”

Jin Ling nodded his head and made a quick work of calming down the dog Jiang Cheng wouldn’t let Wei Wuxian see. But Wei Wuxian took a peek at it as Jin Ling passed by him, and the dog looked wild, with saliva dripping down it’s slightly open mouth, showing its sharp, pointy teeth. Wei Wuxian hid his face in Jiang Cheng’s shoulder, shaking again. He tried not to imagine the dog sinking its teeth into his own—

“Wei Wuxian,” Jiang Cheng said, in that gentle tone that Wei Wuxian had missed so, so much. He felt a sudden warmth in his chest. One that he had missed for months and months.

“Jiang Cheng,” Wei Wuxian replied, his tone, thankfully, not wavering. Before either of them could get another word in, they heard the sounds of several dozens of footsteps. They both looked towards the source of the sound.

It turned out that Jin Ling would not have to go to his friends to get rid of the dog, since his friends had come to him, along with the rest of the disciples and sect leaders.

“Wei-xiong, are you hurt?” Nie Huaisang asked.

“We heard your scream,” Sizhui said. Ah, his thoughtful son.

“You seem fine,” Lan Jingyi observed.

“Wei Ying,” Lan Zhan said.

Wei Wuxian forced himself to stand up straight behind Jiang Cheng. “Ah, don’t worry. I’m fine.”

Jiang Cheng pointed to the dog, his gaze on Nie Huaisang as if explaining only to him. “It was a dog.”

“Oh.” Understanding dawned on Nie Huaisang’s face. And Lan Zhan’s shoulders relaxed just a tiny bit. Even Sizhui, who had a slight idea of Wei Wuxian’s fear sighed with relief.

So as the junior disciples went to go get rid of the dog, along with Nie Huaisang, who insisted on accompanying them for their safety, the rest of the people stood silently staring at each other.

Jiang Cheng cleared his throat as soon as Jin Ling disappeared from his view, turning to Wei Wuxian. “Are you better now?” He kept his face carefully blank, Wei Wuxian noticed.

“I feel much better!” Wei Wuxian said, trying for a smile, but failing. He froze as he felt Jiang Cheng’s hand gripping his arms.

“Do you mean it?” he asked, searching Wei Wuxian’s eyes. Wei Wuxian felt his heart skip a beat.

He nodded his head seriously this time. “I do. I feel much better now that the dog isn’t here. I know that the juniors have probably already chased it off.”

“Good,” Jiang Cheng replied. He tried to hide the relief showing on his face, but Wei Wuxian saw it anyway. So as Jiang Cheng cleared his throat again, let go of Wei Wuxian’s arm, and awkwardly began to walk away from him, Wei Wuxian seized the chance.

He used those few moments of openness and vulnerability that he got from Jiang Cheng to hold onto his robes. “Jiang Cheng,” he said, and Jiang Cheng stopped in his tracks. “Thank you, for keeping your promise, even when I couldn’t keep mine.”

Jiang Cheng pulled away and didn’t look at Wei Wuxian for the remaining part of the night hunt.

READ ON AO3

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yumichanhamano · 3 years

Text

Gift fic for Nike

Hello @maskedremnant ! I am your gifter for @mdzsgiftexchange :) Apologies for the delay! Had some issues on my end and I’m not very active on tumblr anymore.

Here is your gift :D It’s around 2.7k cause I couldn’t hit the 3k mark :( Hope that’s okay! If you provide me with your ao3 handle, I could post it there and gift it to you :) Please check on "keep reading” for the fic! :D

“Lan Zhan!” The man let out a sigh as he finished his sentence he was typing when the couch dipped under Wei Ying’s weight. There was a pleasant warmth pressed against his side as Wei Ying looked at his screen. “Oops, am I bothering you? You’re usually in your room if you’re doing your work.”

Lan Zhan was used to working in a quiet environment. He used to stay in his room most often, leaving only to use other facilities in the apartment. However, since meeting Wei Ying, many things in his life has started to change. He spent more time outside of his room after dinner. He used to only go outside if necessary or for exercise reasons, but now he frequented restaurants and cafés with Wei Ying.

He still stayed inside of his room, his place of solace, when he needed to focus.

However, there was still time before the deadline for the report so Lan Zhan indulged in spending more time with Wei Ying instead. Compared to working on his report, he preferred to watch Wei Ying pace around the living room instead.

He found that his roommate often mumbling to himself when he’s inspired or deep in thought. Just a second ago, Wei Ying was trying to find a source of inspiration for his art projects before he sat down beside Lan Zhan.

“No,” Lan Zhan said. Wei Ying smiled and Lan Zhan resisted the urge to smile back.

“Sooooooooo,” Wei Ying started in the way that he had a request but he’s unsure of how to ask, “we’ve been roommates for a while…”

Lan Zhan lamented that with all the time they spent together, they were still nothing more than roommates. He nodded in response.

“Well, you also know how I love to post pictures of myself and send them to my friends.” Lan Zhan too has been subjected to Wei Ying’s surprise selfies but he doesn’t tell Wei Ying that he had been saving them in a private folder on his laptop. “What I’m trying to say is that one of my friends saw you in the background and I was joking that we were dating. Now they’re convinced that I found a boyfriend, didn’t tell them, and I either get the choice of them marching into our apartment or we meet up with them.”

Lan Zhan blinked at Wei Ying, closed his laptop and placed it on the coffee table before something happened to it.

His heart was racing at the mere thought of dating Wei Ying.

The most logical thing to say was “tell them the truth”, but Lan Zhan can’t bring himself to say it when he had a chance to have what he always wanted. Even if it was not real.

“When do they want to meet?” he said instead, choosing indulge in his desires. If this was the closest, he’ll get to getting what he wants, he will take the chance. Wei Ying, completely unaware of Lan Zhan’s inner struggles, hugged him and called him the best. If Wei Ying knew the truth, Lan Zhan wasn’t sure that he would say that anymore.

On the day they were going to meet with Wei Ying’s friends, Lan Zhan made sure to dress up nicely. He wanted to leave a good impression them, even if their relationship wasn’t real yet. Lan Zhan will simply have to work harder to make it a reality. It felt like a dream far away, but he can only hope.

Wei Ying, as always, was whining that Lan Zhan always looked effortlessly good. What he didn’t know is that Lan Zhan always put effort into his appearance for Wei Ying. He was not a slob, but he dressed cleanly normally. But since Wei Ying complimented his outfit choice once, Lan Zhan wanted to continue to impress Wei Ying. It was natural to want to impress your crush.

Wei Ying had his hands stuffed in his pockets as they walked towards the restaurant they were meeting up in. But once the sign was visible, Wei Ying suddenly clung to Lan Zhan’s arm without any warnings and Lan Zhan felt like his heart was going to stop.

“Is this okay?” Wei Ying asked with a nervous smile.

‘More than okay,’ was Lan Zhan’s first thought that he had to bat away. Lan Zhan hated Wei Ying’s zero regard for personal space at first. It was a point of contention when Wei Ying first moved in. Eventually, Lan Zhan grew from being tolerant to not minding the small touches between them.

It was not the first time Wei Ying attached himself to Lan Zhan, but it was the first time they done such a thing in a public space. However, in this moment, they were a couple and this was normal for couples.

“Mm.” Lan Zhan was too caught up in his own racing thoughts that he didn’t notice the way Wei Ying snuggled closer with the permission or the small content smile.

They walked into the restaurant together, Wei Ying comfortably leaning on Lan Wangji’s side as they gave the name of reservation to the waitress. Lan Zhan noticed the way Wei Ying started loosening and tightening his hold on Lan Zhan’s sleeve. It was cute to see him nervous, but Lan Zhan was no better.

There was little comfort he could provide so Lan Zhan patted Wei Ying’s hands with his free one. Wei Ying looked at him in surprise before smiling fondly.

Lan Zhan wanted to tell him not to worry when he heard someone shouting Wei Ying’s name.

The moment was broken and Wei Ying turned to the source of the sound. He waved at his friends with one hand while pulling Lan Zhan with him with the other hand.

There were five people at the table, all watching them as they approached, and Lan Zhan unfortunately recognized one of them.

“Wei-xiong,” Nie Huaisang smiled slyly. Lan Zhan had a poor feeling that their lie was seen through already. Their older brothers were close friends and talked often, so Nie Huaisang had to know about Lan Zhan’s roommate. The only key thing is that he didn’t know if Nie Huaisang knew that Wei Ying was the roommate. Oddly enough, he didn’t recall Wei Ying mentioning Nie Huaisang in any conversations before either. “I never knew you two were dating.”

Wei Ying stiffened at his side and forced himself to relax as he smiled at Nie Huaisang, “Lan Zhan never mentioned about you either.”

“Our brothers are friends. We’re not that close actually. Enough of that for now, come,” Nie Huaisang said as he waved his hand, “Why are you two still standing there? Sit, sit.”

“So, this is the rumoured boyfriend,” Wen Qing said as she watched Lan Zhan like a hawk. “I was imagining someone… not him.”

“What do you mean? Lan Zhan is great,” Wei Ying pouted.

“I meant that he’s too good for you.”

“Hey!”

“It’s great to finally meet you,” Jiang Yanli said, as one of the nicer people in the group and broke up Wen Qing and Wei Ying before the argument escalated. “I hope you don’t mind us being a little nosy about you. I’ve never seen him so secretive and evasive about something before.”

Lan Zhan simply nodded in acknowledgement and kept that information in the back of his mind to ask Wei Ying later.

In the meantime, Wei Ying was already chattering away with his friends to bring the attention away from Lan Zhan, which he was grateful for. Lan Zhan could see why Wei Ying was such good friends with all of them. While each of them had differing personality types, they melded well overall as a group.

When the food arrived, the group kept chatting, which Lan Zhan can see why his previous attempts to keep Wei Ying from talking while eating failed.

Wei Ying was still an active participant in the ongoing conversation, but he talked less than he did before the food arrived. Although Lan Zhan was not largely successful in getting him to completely stop talking during meals, Wei Ying does keep the chatter to a minimum when they ate together.

Things went well until Wei Ying had to use the washroom.

Before he stepped away, he gave Lan Zhan a small peck on the cheek and a wide smile before running off. Lan Zhan felt like he was floating before he realized that everyone had put down their utensils and was staring at him again. Lan Zhan followed suit and placed down his utensils and suddenly got the feeling that he was in some kind of job interview.

“I’ll cut to the chase,” Jiang Cheng said, “Hurt him and I’ll break your legs.”

“What he meant to say is that we all care a lot about Wei-xiong,” Nie Huaisang added. There was a calculating glint in his eyes that Lan Zhan did not like. “He is a very dear friend to all of us here. We would hate to see him sad.”

“As do I,” Lan Zhan said. He didn’t expect to be given the shovel talk, but it was nice to know that Wei Ying’s friends cared so much about him.

“Good, we’re on the same page then,” Wen Qing said, “but if you do find yourself in a situation where you hurt him, you better start running and pray that we never find you.”

Jiang Yanli and Wen Ning were the only two that kept quiet, but their calm smiles were threatening in itself.

“Sorry, I’m back!” Wei Ying announced a moment later as he skipped back to the table. “What did I miss?”

“Not much!” Wen Ning piped up and pulled Wei Ying into a conversation about sports. It was fascinating how fast the conversation turned back to lighter topics like they hadn’t collectively threatened murder if he broke Wei Ying’s heart. But they had nothing to worry about since he wouldn’t let that happen. If it did, Lan Zhan could not live with himself.

“Lan Zhan, are you okay?” Wei Ying asked once they arrived back at the apartment. Nie Huaisang, Wen Ning, and Wen Qing ended up taking the same bus as them and then walked down a similar route for most of the journey home. Luckily, they all lived in different complexes so they eventually parted ways.

“Yes,” Lan Zhan said. He couldn’t tell Wei Ying he thinking about all the different ways he wanted to ask if they could start dating for real, or simply confess his feelings and wait for the other to reject him.

“I hope they weren’t too much. We’ve been told that we’re a noisy bunch,” Wei Ying said, his gaze glued to the floor as he tucked a loose strand of hair behind his ear. “Is it- Would it be rude if I asked for us to continue pretending for, I don’t know, the next few months? I’ll just tell them that we tried the dating thing but didn’t work out so we’re just roommates. Or should I move out? That would make more sense, right? I can always find–”

“Wei Ying,” Lan Zhan called out, stopping the other’s anxious rambles. He too felt like his nerves were all bundled up and ready to explode into thoughtless rambles, but Lan Zhan couldn’t bare the idea of Wei Ying he completely disappeared from his life.

“Yes?” Wei Ying squeaked and looked up. Lan Zhan’s heart squeezed at the sight of his watery eyes. There were a number of things that Lan Zhan wanted to do, but he settled with enveloping Wei Ying into a hug. “L-lan Zhan?”

Lan Zhan never initiated any kind of contact between them. He was never a big fan of physical contact, but it was always Wei Ying that reached out first. Lan Zhan didn’t mind it as much when it was Wei Ying for one reason and one reason only.

“Don’t leave.”

“Huh? I- Oh,” Wei Ying said and Lan Zhan hugged him tighter. “I won’t, I won’t! You’re such a good roommate! The best even! Where else will I find someone as amazing as you and is willing to put up with me?”

Lan Zhan huffed in amusement, “Then stay forever.”

“F-Forever?” Wei Ying asked as he tried to wiggle out of Lan Zhan’s hold. It was futile and he gave up after the second try. “W-What about when you get a girlfriend? I might be shameless but I can’t third wheel forever! She might not even like me!”

“I will not get a girlfriend then,” Lan Zhan stated as if it was the logical conclusion to the dilemma.

“I- What no! That’s not what I meant!” Wei Ying struggled again but gave up just as fast. “Lan Zhan, I like you but I don’t want to get in the way.”

“Wei Ying is never in the way.”

Wei Ying stilled in his arms. “Hey Lan Zhan… Do you like being with me too?”

“Yes.”

“Really? But I’m so clingy. And I’m always bothering you and annoying you.”

“Not annoying.”

Wei Ying laughed and snuggled further into the hug. “Even when I ask you for dumb favours?”

“Not dumb.”

“So… you don’t mind if we keep fake dating?”

Lan Zhan tensed at the question. He wanted it to be real, but–

“Why lie?”

“What do you mean…?”

“You could tell them that I am your roommate,” Lan Zhan said as he held Wei Ying in his arms, unwilling to let go. He wanted to ask this at first, when Wei Ying first proposed the whole fake dating thing. But he was being selfish when he was given an opportunity to be someone important to Wei Ying, even if it was not real.

“I could have,” Wei Ying agreed.

“Then why?”

“Don’t hate me,” Wei Ying mumbled against his shoulder. Lan Zhan thought it was a silly thought. There was nothing Wei Ying could do to make him hate him, ever.

“Mm.”

“I got a little lonely. Some of them have started dating and I’m still single. And I didn’t want to date just anyone! When they asked, I thought they would take it like a joke like other things I said. I never dated before, much less was interested in anyone so I thought they would know I was joking. But before I could tell them the truth, they got worked up over it and started asking about you. And… maybe… maybe I wanted it to be real so I’m lying to myself too.”

Lan Zhan’s mind went blank as he replied, “It can be real if Wei Ying wants.”

His mind is still repeating the last part of what Wei Ying said, trying to process the words and convince himself that he heard correctly, that Wei Ying wanted to be with him too.

This time, Wei Ying pulled away successful, but Lan Zhan’s hands rested at his waist. He stared into Lan Zhan’s eyes, looking for any hint that it was a joke, a prank, or anything to insist that he simply misheard. But all he saw was a hint of a soft smile that melted Wei Ying’s heart.

“Really?” Wei Ying asked. Lan Zhan nodded. “I… I really want to kiss you.”

Lan Zhan simply leaned down and they shared their first kiss. It was nothing mind blowing or fireworks going off like how media liked it play it off. It was a little clumsy but it was also their first kiss and Lan Zhan would never trade it away for anything.

“So, we’re dating dating now? Not pretend anymore?” Wei Ying asked when they broke apart.

Lan Zhan huffed fondly and Wei Ying pouted.

“What is that supposed to mean? That was my first kiss! I was saving that for someone special. Don’t laugh.”

“I am honoured to be Wei Ying’s first,” Lan Zhan said and smiled as Wei Ying’s face turned red.

“Don’t– don’t say it like that! Lan Zhan!” Wei Ying complained when Lan Zhan couldn’t stop smiling. “I’m supposed to be the shameless one! Why are you like this? Oh no, I’ve corrupted you. Lan Zhan, we just started dating and you’re already like this. How will I survive?”

“I will help,” Lan Zhan said seriously.

“Oh Lan Zhan, you’re the one bad for my heart with your smile so cute,” Wei Ying said dramatically. “I was already in peril just living in the space with you. Now I am subjected to a whole new side of Lan Zhan. Woe is me, death is coming soon.”

“I will protect Wei Ying.”

“How…?” Wei Ying asked dubiously.

“True love’s kiss.”

“Lan Zhan!”

#mo dao zu shi #mdzs #wangxian #yumih's writing

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besanii · 4 years

Note

omg you made me love lan guoyan even tho we haven't even met him officially yet!! i know you said it won't be on brand with SM but it would be amazing to read about them but of course no pressure ^_^

“Oh, Ji-xiong, you’re here.”

The corner of the restaurant Lan Guoyan has chosen to meet is dark, hidden away from view of prying eyes by a large partition, with the only source of light being the candles on the table. It’s far enough away from the rest of the restaurant that the noise of the crowd is only a low hum, best for private conversations—which suits Lan Wangji’s purposes just fine. He takes the seat opposite his already slightly tipsy cousin with a carefully blank expression.

“Don’t call me that,” he says.

Lan Guoyan grins.

“Don’t call you what?” he teases. “Ji-xiong? Why not? We’re cousins. You’re only older than me by a month or two. Don’t tell me you want to start with the formalities now.”

“It is not appropriate,” Lan Wangji replies stiffly.

The table is already laden with a mixture of half-eaten dishes, most of them appetisers to line the stomach while enjoying the establishment’s famous Emperor’s Smile, of which Lan Wangji counts three jugs. He notes with distaste that the provided cups have not been touched and instead Lan Guoyan’s fingers are wrapped around the neck of the jug itself, bringing the entire thing to his lips for a drink, followed by a loud, gusty sigh. It is an inelegant and crude display, completely inappropriate for a member of the Imperial Family.

His annoyance must show on his face, because Lan Guoyan chuckles and points at him with the wine jug.

“You’re out of sorts today, Ji-xiong,” he says, waggling his eyebrows playfully as if he were not the cause of Lan Wangji’s displeasure. “Who dares anger our Er-dianxia, hmm?”

Lan Wangji does not have the patience for his games.

“You were aware of my feelings for Wei Ying,” he says, fists clenched in his lap. “You knew of my intentions to court him.”

“What?” Lan Guoyan looks surprised. “You have feelings for Xiao Wei? Now that I really didn’t know. You’ve hidden it so well, Ji-xiong, I don’t think anyone knew.”

“You knew,” Lan Wangji repeats accusingly. “And yet you went and proposed to him anyway. Why?”

Hearing himself say those words aloud ground him, brings him back from the haze of disbelief and hurt he had been adrift in since his brother had brought him the news this afternoon.

Lan Guoyan has submitted a formal petition to the court for Wei Wuxian’s hand in marriage.

He had spent the rest of the afternoon tearing about the palace looking for Wei Wuxian; he needed to see him, to talk to him, to hear from him directly if this was true. Until then, he would not believe a word of it, even if the Imperial edict were to fall directly into his hands. Wei Wuxian would not accept it. He refused to believe he would. But Wei Wuxian had not been in the palace, or in his quarters, or anywhere else Lan Wangji could think of to find him.

Lan Guoyan shrugs.

“I like him,” he says, simple and honest. “And I want to marry him. That’s all.”

“Be serious.”

“Who says I’m not?” Lan Guoyan retorts, all traces of his usual congeniality vanishing as he forward to fix Lan Wangji with a stare. “I like Xiao Wei. I have feelings for him. I want to marry him. So, I proposed.”

He makes it sound so simple. But Lan Wangji knows marriage is never truly that simple for a member of the Imperial Family. He stares right back.

“How do you know he will accept?” He wouldn’t. He won’t.

“Who says he hasn’t?”

Something shatters as Lan Wangji surges to his feet, the blood roaring in his ears.

“He wouldn’t,” he says, his own voice sounding distant and foreign to his ears. “You're lying.”

Lan Guoyan tips the rest of the wine into his mouth in a single swallow before setting the jug back down on the table with a loud thunk.

“You can go ask him yourself,” he says calmly. “Then you’ll know if I’m lying.”

Lan Wangji takes a deep, shuddering breath and turns to leave. He doesn’t make it two steps before his cousin’s voice calls out from behind him.

“A word of advice, Ji-xiong,” he says. “The next time you have feelings for someone, save everyone the trouble and just be honest with yourself. Not everyone is willing to put their lives on hold and wait for you to get your shit together and stop lying to yourself.”

Lan Wangji walks away to the sound of Lan Guoyan cracking the seal on another jug of wine, his heart clenching painfully in his chest.

He wouldn’t, he tells himself as he all but flies down the stairs. He won’t.

Notes:

Lan Guoyan calls LWJ Ji-xiong (机兄, Older Brother Ji), in part cos they grew up together but also because it’s a homophone of 鸡胸, which means “chicken breast” and he’s a little shit.

// buy me a ko-fi //

Master Post is here

#mdzs #wangxian #shattered mirrors au #shattered mirrors fic #王爷机 X 花魁羡 #my writing #🔪🔪#hey i'm using the knife system #anyway you guys asked for some Lan Guoyan content #so the first thing you see is him making LWJ very upset #i swear he's not a bad guy #but this particular scene got stuck in my head #it's also inspired by that scene in Story of Ming Lan when Qi Heng confronts Gu Tingye about proposing to Ming Lan #i love the scene that comes after it #which i might decide to write #hmmm #hey nonny nonny #asks

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heymeowmao · 2 years

Photo

there’s an mv for 可追, and I’m screaminggg

#说英雄谁是英雄 #Shuo Ying Xiong Shei Shi Ying Xiong #Heroes #you all alr know i won't be normal abt this #zeng shunxi #liu yuning #it isn't on yt (officially) yet- but i'll post it when i see it #dash used to show a source link thing- where'd it go?

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incorrectlooneytunesquotes · 4 years

Quote

How twift thy tword.

Tweety to Grand Duke Sylvester

#tweety #sylvester #source: Ying xiong

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laprimevere · 4 years

Photo

Heaven Gaia, Ready-to-Wear, Spring / Summer 2019.

source: https://www.dn-mag.com/news/20180929-heaven-gaia-spring-summer-2019-collection-xiong-ying-paris/

(detail)

#fashion #evening dress #glamour #elegance #silk painting #2019

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plumoh · 4 years

Text

all pain, all smiles, became a magnificent tale (1)

Word count: 5580

Summary: Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji are both too aware of their feelings, but it is never the right time. / CQL 'verse

Note: AO3 link. Canon compliant, retelling of CQL with huge pining from the start. Elements like controlling corpses will be taken from the novel/donghua but the timeline and characterization are all CQL.

01.

The rumors and stories about the Twin Jades being as beautiful as the moon and as graceful as the wind didn't lie. The concept of beauty is one that Wei Wuxian understands on all levels—if something is pretty, then why not appreciate it and say it out loud? Compliments also have the benefit of making people happy.

Most people, anyway.

“Second Master Lan, you're really incredible!” he laughs. “Handsome and skilled? So many girls would swoon if they had a glimpse of such an amazing sight.”

Lan Wangji's grip on his sword tightens and his gaze seems to convey all the contempt towards Wei Wuxian that is currently boiling in his blood, and it doesn't stray away from the jar of Emperor's Smile that Wei Wuxian is protectively keeping against his side. It's almost comical, to see two people standing on a rooftop well after curfew, in such a strict and rule-abiding place like the Cloud Recesses; Wei Wuxian just set foot inside today and he already feels it will be a long year.

He props up his leg and carelessly uncaps the jar, sporting an amused smile.

“But once they realize how cold and inflexible you are, they'd run away!”

He takes a long sip of the alcohol, suddenly feeling extremely entertained by Lan Wangji's quiet outrage. It's kind of impressive Lan Wangji can say so much with his eyes alone—never mind silencing people with a spell, his gaze does the job perfectly. Wei Wuxian has seen different shapes of eyes in the past, but even if Lan Wangji's are small, there is an intensity in those clear and gorgeous eyes that makes him unable to look away. He could give orders or convey an entire message with one look.

Wei Wuxian tilts his head, playing with his jar of alcohol and jostling its content. “That's right, you're unreasonable and rigid, but it doesn't matter. Once I return to Yunmeng—mhh?!”

As Wei Wuxian chases after him to cancel the spell, he believes that Lan Wangji really needs to do something about his awful personality.

02.

Jiang Cheng tells him that he's ridiculous and stupid for wanting to catch Lan Wangji's attention whenever he sees him, but in all honesty, if Lan Wangji truly hated him, would he still respond to his calls?

“Ji-xiong!”

Wei Wuxian enthusiastically waves his hands, never missing the way Lan Wangji's face closes at his sight, like an invisible spirit forcefully makes him narrow his eyes and exude an untouchable aura. It's kind of cool, actually.

“Do you want to get punished or what?” Jiang Cheng hisses, pinching his side, while Nie Huaisang attempts to conceal his entire body behind his fan.

Wei Wuxian keeps smiling and waving, until Lan Wangji turns on his heels and ignores him, once again. The white robes are fluttering in the wind and his silhouette is as graceful as always, although his steps seem to be a bit stiffer. Must have been slightly more irritated than usual.

It's really, really fun.

03.

He wouldn't say there is a spark, or an explosion of stars, but he does feel something pleasant settling in his stomach when Suibian clashes with Bichen as he carefully moves on the cliff. He didn't realize who he was fighting at the beginning, but once he took in the immaculate robes and the impassive face his lips curl upwards in a mischievous grin.

“Ji-xiong, that's you! Wow, you really are skilled.”

He quickly unsheathes Suibian, gaze still trained on Lan Wangji's that stares down at him like he said the most absurd thing in existence. He's used to it, now, so it doesn't dampen his mood, it even lifts his spirits a little bit (it's always a delight to see the Second Jade, despite his ignoring). Wei Wuxian takes his time to admire the fine and delicate traits on Lan Wangji's face, which he probably will never tire of; he thinks about the stories and the female disciples gossiping, and he chuckles at the thought he's possibly the only one who gets to see him so up close. The waterfall and the green of the trees frame this face gently, making him look like a painting.

“I'm telling you a secret,” Wei Wuxian whispers, taking careful steps towards the other man. “I'm not the only one who wanders in the back of the Cloud Recesses, do you think it has anything to do with the spiritual consciousness stealing—hey!”

For someone so proper Lan Wangji doesn't hold back as he grabs Wei Wuxian's wrist and drags him all the way to the Library Pavilion, deaf to his burden's whines and complains that can be heard all over the Cloud Recesses.

Spending so much time in his company would have killed anyone of boredom, but Wei Wuxian managed to distract himself from his punishment by staring at Lan Wangji. In-between two lines of copying he looks up and stares at his companion, who sits still like a statue, diligently learning from books he's probably already read. Wei Wuxian ends up doodling rabbits, jars of alcohol and clouds in the corners of his papers, then decides it would be a waste not to exploit the infinite source of inspiration standing right in front of him.

Lan Wangji doesn't react at the portrait of himself.

“Come on, you must have something to say except for ‘boring’ and ‘pathetic’. Lan Wangji? Ji-xiong? Wangji-xiong?” And then, overtaken by sudden bravery, “Lan Zhan!”

Hearing his birth name shouted so casually draws a whole new expression on his face that Wei Wuxian can't decipher. He frowns.

“You didn't answer when I called you Wangji, so I called you Lan Zhan. You can call me Wei Ying if you want.”

He offers him his biggest grin for good measure, gleefully basking in the Second Jade's disbelief at such boldness.

Thinking back, he was already spending too much energy and time to commit to memory someone that was only supposed to be entertainment.

04.

“Lan Zhan, give me back my alcohol!”

So maybe he shouldn't prance around and being noisy with a jar of alcohol in hands, which break three of Gusu Lan's rules, but they're not in the Cloud Recesses and he is only trying to help a case during a nighthunt. What's wrong with speculating and attempting to dig up clues in the wildest theories? Discoveries are made because people are curious; Wei Wuxian would be very much surprised if none of his ideas turns out to be right. And in any case, Lan Zhan had no right to dump his alcohol!

He chases after him, ignoring Jiang Cheng's yells, and grabs Lan Zhan's shoulder. There are many cultivators trailing behind them, but Lan Zhan doesn't seem to care since he stops dead in his tracks and turns his head without uttering a word, like a warning. Wei Wuxian presses his lips together and slowly releases his shoulder, the loss of contact freezing his body with disappointment.

“Lan Zhan, why are you looking at me like this? You look more mad than me, and you dumped my alcohol. I should be the one feeling wronged.”

“I dislike physical contact,” Lan Zhan states firmly. “Stop fooling around. We are on a nighthunt.”

“Yes, yes, Second Master Lan, so professional...”

Lan Zhan sends him one last glare before walking away, and Wei Wuxian is left staring at his back, wondering why talking to Lan Zhan feels as frustrating as exciting. A voice sounding suspiciously like Jiang Cheng tells him that he's stupid.

“You're stupid or what? Stop bothering him.” Jiang Cheng snorts next to him, and Wei Wuxian groans.

“I wasn't even doing anything!”

Jiang Cheng rolls his eyes and urges him to follow the Twin Jades.

05.

When Lan Zhan lands on his boat, he expects a reprimand, but he simply gets an inquisitive look, albeit mildly annoyed.

“I didn't splash you on purpose, those ghouls are smart so I had to find something not to alert them. Are you recognizing I'm not completely useless?” Wei Wuxian asks with a smirk, delighted by Lan Zhan's lack of criticism.

Confident and reinvigorated after showing he's at least half serious about this case, Wei Wuxian takes a few steps forward and peers at Lan Zhan's face, smiling at his reddened ears and his inability to look him in the eyes.

“Stay away,” Lan Zhan snaps, gaze fixed on the water.

Wei Wuxian pouts but complies, seeing that he won't get much entertainment if Lan Zhan is focused on fulfilling this mission, especially with the other cultivators and their brothers around.

They take care of the waterborne abyss easily enough, if Wei Wuxian doesn't take into account their almost death. He would have much preferred being grabbed by the arm instead of his collar, but that's asking too much from someone who stated only minutes ago that touching people is absolutely out of the question.

“We're already so close, touching even my arm wouldn't be too bad, right?”

“We are not close.”

These words, more than anything, drive a knife into Wei Wuxian's guts. Lan Zhan's tone hasn't shifted from his usual monotone one, but his clipped words and adamant refusal to so much as look at Wei Wuxian, even as they're speaking, unload a new uncertainty in his mind.

On the way back to the Cloud Recesses, after offering loquats and failing at making Lan Zhan look at him again, he comes to the realization that when he does get Lan Zhan's attention, it brings him immense joy.

06.

“Lan Zhan, your forehead ribbon is crooked.”

Wei Wuxian's thoughts flicker for the briefest moment, imagining Lan Zhan's wife tying the ribbon around his head every morning, as ridiculous as it is. That rule of Gusu Lan sect is among the most bemusing ones, dictating a way of living that seems pretty extreme. Can a simple piece of cloth be that important to someone? Wei Wuxian discards the knowledge altogether (like most of the other rules he's copied) when the conversation turns to the topic of family. In that instant, he feels there is a special understanding that passes between them; there is a longing and sadness that Wei Wuxian has long tucked in a corner of his mind, far away from the thoughts that make him go through the day as seamlessly as possible.

Wei Wuxian has the fleeting suspicion that maybe, Lan Zhan doesn't like showing his emotions because there are too many of them inside his heart. It took a few weeks and a cup of alcohol to start unearthing the mystery that is the Second Jade, who looks as vulnerable as anyone else in his current drunkenness. His carved beauty remains, but he looks less unattainable. Wei Wuxian smiles, a sudden warmth spreading in his body as he lifts his jar of Emperor's Smile.

“A toast to us, who found companionship in unexpected misfortune. Let's drink while we still can, alright?”

He downs the jar in one go, knowing full well they won't share another drink together.

07.

Wei Wuxian's respect for Lan Zhan shoots up when he realizes he's taking the punishment without the slightest twitch, but it also confirms that he is a madman.

“Who willingly gets punished like that?”

Lan Zhan barely acknowledges his presence, focused on the rulers that beat and cut into his back. It's surprising Wei Wuxian doesn't forget his own pain while staring at Lan Zhan's impassive face that is almost a model to follow.

“The Cold Spring will relieve your pain,” Zewu-jun says when he meets him, a soft but knowing smile on his face.

Wei Wuxian has no idea why Zewu-jun is showing so much kindness towards him, but he won't refuse help. Even if Shijie tells him to take it easy, he runs as fast as he can despite of the stinging to the Cold Spring. He absolutely doesn't expect the person already inside the water, back turned to him with his hair spread at the surface. Wei Wuxian pushes down the astonishment and the onslaught of eagerness that pools in his stomach, blinking once then twice before leaning against a bamboo tree and grinning.

“Lan Zhan, were you going to keep this place all to yourself?”

Lan Zhan doesn't startle, but it's a near thing as he hastily pulls on his robes, unconcerned about making them wet, then glares at Wei Wuxian.

“Do not come closer,” he hisses.

The events in Caiyi city with their hurting words are all but forgotten, even if the similar situation plants a seed of doubt for a second before going away. However, Lan Zhan should know by now that Wei Wuxian doesn't follow orders, and finds pleasure in doing the opposite of what he's told—and even more so when it involves Lan Zhan.

“Come on, I told you we're already so close, why are you so distant?”

Wei Wuxian proceeds to take off his boots and gets into the spring, shivering at its low temperature, and makes his way towards Lan Zhan. He never stops grinning, feeling he shouldn’t think too much about the situation, and his amusement increases tenfold as he notices the tips of Lan Zhan's ears reddening (it's quite an occurrence, certainly because he's unused to physical proximity, and that's kind of adorable).

“Admittedly you're harsh and sometimes boring, but we've sparred and we're evenly matched, so I honestly think we can become friends!” Wei Wuxian extends Suibian, remembering that Lan Zhan dislikes touching people. “I mean, that's the first step of any relationship, right?”

There is something incredibly wild in Lan Zhan's gaze when he looks at him, like he's trying to discover what sort of nonsense is hiding behind his words. It's not the disdain and wariness that usually underlie his unspoken words, it's more disbelieving and, if Wei Wuxian reads it right, with a tinge of fear. He blinks, then tilts his head.

“I know you don't really like me, but becoming my friend can't be that bad? Lan Zhan, you're hurting my feelings!”

He lowers Suibian and crosses his arms over his chest, wondering. Lan Zhan is clearly lost in thoughts if he isn't reacting to his teasing, which shouldn't be as concerning as Wei Wuxian feels it is.

“Look, if you become my friend...I will pick lotus seeds for you when you come to Yunmeng!” He gets closer to Lan Zhan, who surprisingly doesn't step away and simply eyes him with his unchanging attentive gaze. “Yunmeng is fun, we have a lot of food, and rivers to cross. Come visit!”

“I will not go,” Lan Zhan finally replies.

Wei Wuxian sucks in a breath. “Fine, killjoy. I'll eat lotus seeds on a boat all by my lonesome.”

He tries not to think too much about this rejection since he should have anticipated the cold answer, but it still stings. He's just trying to be nice. He huffs, and deciding that he should as well enjoy the spring, he starts fiddling with his robes to shrug them off. This mere action calls for Lan Zhan's fastest reaction so far, eyes wide.

“What are you doing?!”

“Taking off my clothes to heal, obviously.” Wei Wuxian smiles, laughing at Lan Zhan's scandalized face. “What, is undressing in front of other people forbidden too?”

Perhaps he's said the wrong thing again, because Lan Zhan seems determined to leave the spring, and Wei Wuxian backtracks immediately.

“Wait, wait, don't leave! I'm keeping my clothes on, okay?”

Lan Zhan stands a few feet away from him, and if he wasn't so stiff and upright, Wei Wuxian wouldn't have noticed the way his fists are trembling, clasped behind his back. Is he really that upset about the situation?

Wei Wuxian doesn't have the time to ponder on the question as a burst of a strange energy hits him. He surveys his surroundings, eyes narrowed; something is clearly off but he can't pinpoint its origin.

“Lan Zhan, there's something strange here.”

As soon as the words leave his mouth, he gets dragged underwater.

08.

Whoever invented such a complex and ingenious spell that recognizes specific people based on an item is admirable but also extremely bothersome in their current predicament.

Swallowing water and spending the next minutes sputtering isn’t fun, dodging the attacks of an ancient guqin is even less so. Wei Wuxian is ready to do anything to get out of this cave alive and unscattered, but when he yells for Lan Zhan’s forehead ribbon, he truly didn’t expect Lan Zhan to comply to his order without a word.

It’s absolutely astounding. He stares at the ribbon that’s binding them together like it’s a foreign object, then lifts his gaze to meet Lan Zhan’s. Wei Wuxian has an inkling of what makes his heart so light yet so heavy, having Lan Zhan willingly stand so close to him when he vehemently objected to it earlier. It’s maddening to keep these feelings at bay, letting them take a form of their own without the means to control or even understand them.

He did not mean to stare, but Lan Zhan quickly averts his eyes and tugs him forward. Wei Wuxian follows silently, the lull of the water the only sound his ears are registering. It feels inexplicably intimate to simply have a strip of cloth tying their wrists together, considering how attached the Lan family is to the ribbon. He doesn’t dare saying anything for fear of breaking whatever spell they’re currently under.

Instead, he takes a deep breath and lets his actions speak for himself, as usual. He gets scolded for wanting to approach the sacred guqin, is glared at for misbehaving, and suddenly he’s breathing easier, gradually forgetting what he was so agitated about in the first place.

The oath they pledge to stop evil from spreading makes his core vibrate with anticipation and his heart sing.

08.5.

His entire body is set aflame when there is contact of skin against skin, his face mere centimeters away from Lan Zhan’s, and he tries to contain his shock and bubbling panic by laughing, even if it sounds awkward to his ears.

“You can’t say we’re not close, after that.”

“Get off me.”

The arrival of Jiang Cheng and Wen Qing, staring at them in disbelief, also prompts Wei Wuxian to scramble up with energy before he further digs his own grave. He quickly unties the ribbon, not paying attention to the stillness of Lan Zhan’s hand or the way everyone is looking at him. It’s a miracle he can string two sentences together to explain what happened with his heartbeat thundering and the distinct sensation of Lan Zhan boring holes in his neck, but when he looks at his face, somehow he finds less anger than expected. In the crease of Lan Zhan’s eyebrows and his lips pressed downward, he finds instead an uneasiness that is almost painful to look at; and in these clear eyes, Wei Wuxian doesn’t let himself see hope.

09.

“It seems that the events in Caiyi and the spiritual consciousness stealing are related after all, Wangji.”

It’s becoming harder to hide his excitement whenever Lan Zhan says or does something surprising, and in this case, Wei Wuxian thinks it deserves a proper reaction.

“You told Zewu-jun about my theories? You really are my confidant, huh?”

From the corner of his eye he notices Lan Xichen smiling at his comment, and he could have chosen to pretend he didn’t, but it’s such a rare opportunity to shamelessly tease Lan Zhan for something that’s not out of Wei Wuxian’s imagination. It fills him with so much joy and satisfaction to know he has at least his trust.

“I’m sure we can solve great mysteries together,” he offers pleasantly. “You don’t even need to talk, we understand each other already pretty well! And we seem to both value righteousness a lot, considering what we said to Ancestor Lan Yi. Aren’t we a perfect match?”

He nudges Lan Zhan in the side with his elbow, grinning from ear to ear. Nothing he said is false, which is all the more exhilarating. He might be cheesy, but he sincerely thinks there is a connection he can form with that boy that doesn’t speak more than four words to him but still puts up with his antics and listens to what he says, however relevant or stupid the topic is. Calling him a confidant is well-deserved and shows just how much effort Wei Wuxian is willing to put in this bond—it’s well-deserved but it feels more than that.

“Do not be ridiculous,” Lan Zhan mutters, turning his head his way but not meeting his eyes. “This Yin iron issue is not to be trivialized.”

“I’m not trivializing it! I mean it, we’d work well together, and our cultivation level is similar. You should be honored to be offered this chance to work with the great Wei Wuxian!”

Wei Wuxian hits his chest once with the hand holding Suibian, an easy smile accompanying his words that are immediately met with the usual unimpressed stare. Given the lack of rebuttal, in the Second Jade’s language, it’s a positive response.

“Focus,” he simply says.

Wei Wuxian’s heart soars.

09.5.

“A-Xian, you are good friends with the Second Master Lan.”

Wei Wuxian coughs. “Do you think so? It’s not like he often talks to me.”

Jiang Yanli’s smile could make flowers bloom with how gentle it is. “That’s true, but the two of you seem to understand each other better than most. It has only been a few months and you know him very well, it’s rare for people to be so close in a short time.” She squeezes his arm, still as soothing as always. “Treasure this kind of encounters and relationships.”

Wei Wuxian has no idea how to react to his shijie’s words, but they lift his spirits considerably.

10.

“Is this some kind of tradition?”

“I guess so, the other Lan disciples were saying it helps us keeping our mind stable. You’re making a promise to yourself or something.”

“So it’s just a simple wish, then?”

Jiang Cheng shrugs, not that much interested in the specifics of the release of the lantern, and Wei Wuxian isn’t surprised; being the Jiang sect heir has drilled him into thinking ahead long ago, and to always pursue the goals he’s set for himself. Securing the future and protecting the sect—that’s what he ought to do, and what he wishes for, with no need to verbalize it.

Wei Wuxian wishes for something else. There is no doubt he wishes for the prosperity of the sect that took him in, but there is another wish that lies under it, stronger but quieter. He hums to himself as they climb the hill where they are to gather, his lips curled upwards as giddiness fuels every one of his step.

As soon as he has all the materials needed in hand, he leaves Jiang Cheng’s side and drops everything next to Lan Zhan’s. He gets comfortable and starts working on his lantern, ignoring the way his companion is looking at him with most certainly confusion, even if it doesn’t show on his face.

“Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan, do you often make lanterns like this? With Jiang Cheng and Shijie we like to make them during festivals, and we let the disciples decide which one between mine and Jiang Cheng’s is the best. Guess who always wins!”

He doesn’t actually expect a reply to his question, he’s only filling the silence like he always does whenever he’s with Lan Zhan. His presence makes him warm and more eager to share whatever thought is crossing his mind, as if filters don’t exist and he’s free to rveal every aspect of his personality. He can literally hear Jiang Cheng’s disapproval.

Wei Wuxian is happy, when he is with Lan Zhan.

The Second Jade ever so slightly glances his way, hands poised on his own lantern tracing delicate characters. His shoulders aren’t tense and he seems content, like he’s really enjoying his time despite the noise surrounding them.

“I would not know,” he says plainly.

“That was a rhetorical question, of course I’m the best!” Wei Wuxian laughs, and finally lifts his head to look at Lan Zhan’s face.

His heart skips a beat when he finds clear eyes directly looking at his. But the moment vanishes as if it didn’t occur and Lan Zhan resumes his writing, a flush spreading over his cheeks and ears, which is completely unexpected and Wei Wuxian feels his own face heat up at this sight. The implication behind what just transpired would have gone unnoticed to his admittedly blind eyes were it not for the fact he’s already entertained some ideas of his own feelings for a while, now.

It’s scary, to think about the what-ifs and the would-bes, though he feels there is a right time for everything. There always is.

With renewed vigor and satisfaction, he keeps painting his lantern, every one of his strokes assured and precise, aiming at pleasing.

“Look Lan Zhan, I drew rabbits for you.”

Lan Zhan has been steadily more willing to look at whatever Wei Wuxian is pointing at without being coerced into it (he has been observing). And it’s only because Wei Wuxian is on the lookout for any changes that he catches the shift of his expressions so easily.

“You smiled!” he exclaims gleefully, leaning forward to get a good look at this smile.

Lan Zhan’s expression immediately schools back into one of indifference, although his eyes are still telling another story.

“Ridiculous.”

Wei Wuxian grins. “Don’t be like that, I know you like it!” And with a burst of adrenaline and impulsiveness, he says: “Since we risked our lives together, let’s release the lantern together.”

Oh, he knows what people are saying; they’re impatiently waiting for Shijie and Jin Zixuan to release their lantern as a sign of love, the gesture seen as one of the most romantic to exist. Wei Wuxian doesn’t care about the peacock and the so-called romanticism, but he does admit that touching the lantern and letting it fly up, with someone, renders their wish more concrete, more valued; a silent witness to this private moment.

To say that Lan Zhan is shocked would be an understatement, and it would have been amusing if the situation was a bit less intimate.

“Never mind, I was joking,” Wei Wuxian backtracks, averting his eyes.

“No. I will do it.”

Lan Zhan reaches for the lantern, careful not to wrinkle it, and when their eyes meet Wei Wuxian thinks he’s found a whole new purpose in life. There is unparalleled determination and fervor, naked and genuine, unable to deceive whoever getting a glimpse of them. It’s beautiful.

The curve of his lips is gentle. “Okay.”

The world is reduced to the two of them, working on the lantern without a word. Wei Wuxian sometimes glances in Lan Zhan’s direction and is delighted to see how at ease he seems in his company; there is tranquillity that calms his mind and brings him comfort. Wei Wuxian can’t afford to voice his thoughts about the warmth and the elation that pool in his stomach, but he can still accept them and decide what to do later, when the right time comes.

He misses every look Lan Zhan casts him.

Wei Wuxian lights the fire, fingers firmly grasping the edge of the lantern. Their hands aren’t touching but Wei Wuxian feels his fingertips ever so slightly get warmer as they wait for everyone to get ready. He shows none of his turmoil as he brightly smiles at Lan Zhan, who oddly contemplates their work, something akin to satisfaction written on his face.

“Looks like we can really accomplish something when we do it together, doesn’t it?”

Lan Zhan looks up, gaze fixed on Wei Wuxian, but doesn’t answer. There is no small nod or word of acknowledgment, but the way he gets a better grip on the lantern is enough for Wei Wuxian.

They release it in the sky. A white dot joining many others, soon to be lost in the vast and infinite blue. Wei Wuxian’s gaze follows the lantern drifting away; he has been part of many events and has produced many lanterns, but this one irrevocably stirs something deep inside him. He’s choking on a wish that’s as much as a promise. He clasps his hands together and closes his eyes.

“I, Wei Wuxian, wish to stand by justice and righteousness. I wish to live a life free of regrets with a clear conscience.”

A full life—that’s what he wishes for most ardently, and he will endeavor to live by it. When he opens his eyes and turns his head, Lan Zhan is looking at him with a complicated face, like he is unsure he’s allowed to show vulnerability in front of others. Wei Wuxian’s heart swells at the sight, and he softly smiles.

“The words were hard to find, but I think I did good,” he jokes.

Wei Wuxian knocks his shoulder against Lan Zhan’s without thinking, remembering too late about his dislike of physical contact, but he doesn’t get rebuked or shoved away. He blinks at Lan Zhan, and when he opens his mouth to apologize, Lan Zhan looks up.

“I, Lan Wangji, wish to stand by justice and righteousness. I wish to live a life free of regrets with a clear conscience.”

He turns his attention back on Wei Wuxian, who stares at him in wonder. It’s startling and unexpected, but absolutely not unpleasing; words have such a way to don devotion once they are pronounced by someone cherished. Wei Wuxian can’t help but laugh, shaking his head.

“You never cease to amaze me, Lan Zhan. I’m happy to hear you approve of my wish.”

Lan Zhan offers a nod. “You know what you want, Wei Ying.”

Wei Wuxian pauses, chewing on his lips. He gazes at the sky while he gathers his thoughts, surprised by how unprepared he was to that statement. He lets out a chuckle, nervous on its edges but cheerful enough to be convincing.

“Yeah, it’s important to know what we want.”

He wants a lot of things—becoming strong, eating delicious food and drinking exquisite alcohol—and some of them require effort and perseverance to be obtained. He won’t disappoint as the head disciple of Yunmeng Jiang sect; he won’t let injustice dictate his actions.

Wanting Lan Zhan’s attention and wanting something else completely from him aren’t under his control. So he keeps smiling, under Lan Zhan’s observant eyes.

“Some things are just harder to get, you know?”

“Mn. I suppose so.”

Wei Wuxian swallows the thickness in his throat as he hears familiar longing in this deep voice, but his eyes never betray and he doesn’t know what Lan Zhan sees when he looks at them. Something unrestrained flashes on Lan Zhan’s face and hope flares again in Wei Wuxian’s heart.

11.

It’s cute and almost a relief when Lan Zhan stops by and attempts to comfort him when he’s not feeling bad at all. Jin Zixuan only reaped what he sowed and Wei Wuxian would have liked to land another punch or two to make sure the message got across.

“You are ridiculous,” Lan Zhan scolds him when he sees the ants Wei Wuxian is observing on a stick.

“Yes, yes, I’m ridiculous,” Wei Wuxian chuckles, waving the stick around. “Wait Lan Zhan, don’t leave, don’t leave!”

Lan Zhan aborts his step when he’s called, looking quite flustered after his display of hidden concern, but Wei Wuxian is for once sparing him of his teasing as he stands up. The reprimand immediately comes.

“You should be kneeling.”

“I know, but I don’t fancy kneeling in front of a rock when I want to talk to you,” Wei Wuxian explains with a smile.

Lan Zhan’s eyes are beautiful. He’s described as cold and unwavering, indifferent to everything happening around him, but this is clearly wrong. He might not be as expressive as most, but his eyes are the window of his soul, and right now Wei Wuxian is certain they are softening, just like when he saw the rabbits on the lantern. It’s subtle, it’s quick, but Wei Wuxian still noticed it.

“Thank you for releasing the lantern with me,” he says warmly. “That means a lot to me. Really.”

He doesn’t feel much embarrassment for saying it out loud, but it does tickle his stomach and make his face burn, just a little, and seeing as Lan Zhan is pressing his lips together he probably caught the sincerity of the words.

“There is no need to thank me.” He pauses, slightly shaking his head. “It is what I wanted.”

Wei Wuxian beams. “I’m glad.”

“Try not to be too reckless next time.”

“Ha, no promises this time!”

There is a sliver of exasperation on Lan Zhan’s face, though he doesn’t pick up on Wei Wuxian’s comment and simply walks away, most likely not wishing to be seen conversing with someone who is supposed to think over his actions. It’s already quite a feat they exchanged so many words in such a short time.

Wei Wuxian kneels again, a grin on his face playing with the ants until Uncle Jiang arrives and discusses with Lan Qiren and Jin Guangshan.

#cql #the untamed #wangxian #wei wuxian #lan wangji #my fanfic #fic: pain and smiles

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