Pod: This… is a bucket.
Peggy: Oooh…
Pod: There’s more.
Peggy: [astonished] No!
Pod: [ignoring her] It contains the dying wish of every student here. [turns] Squish. You did collect everyone’s dying wish?
Squish: Oh, you bet!
Pod: Excellent. Now, fellow students, synchronize your death watches.
[Cut to a close-up of the watch. Red embossing tape declares it a “DEATH CLOCK”. The display beeps as the various students set their watches. It reads 70:00:00. 70 hours left to live and counting. Taps-like trumpet-playing is heard.]
Pod: We have seventy hours to live. For most cells, no time at all.
Pod: We are not most cells.
Pod: We are survivors. We have the resources. The will. To make these hours count! [he gestures emphatically with his test tube full of acid, some of it spills and burns through the floor]
Pod: [sudden close-up while the background music cuts off] The clock is ticking, students. Let’s begin.
Pod: Our first dying wish is Squish’s. [he gestures] He’s…
[Pod examines the card. He stares at it very confused.]
Spy: …drawn a picture of me in the lab which is exploding.
[The drawing is somewhat crude. The explosion is drawn in much greater detail than Pod who is running (or however cells move,) Panicking with the word “AAAAAAA” above him]
Pod: [he peers closer] I have something radiating off of me.
Squish: Yeah, that is fire.
[He turns to the rest of the students in a mock whisper.]
Squish: That’s why everything exploded. Cause he’s on fire.
Pod: [rolling his eyes as he draws another card] Yes I see. Here you’ve drawn me…
[The camera tastefully remains on his face.]
Pod: [somewhat bemused] …kissing an electromagnet. [he tosses it and draws another while Squish giggles] The electromagnet kissing me. [toss and giggle] Me and the electromagnet getting married.
[Squish is nearly in tears with laughter.]
Pod: [growing more irritated] I’m crying and the electromagnet is on fire. [he angrily throws the card down] Did anyone besides Squish put a card into the bucket?!
[Squish is near breathless with laughter.]
Squish: [giggling] Oh man, Classic Squish.
Pod: [sighing] Fantastic. This was a huge waste of my time.
Peggy: [pulling out a card] You didn’t read mine!
Pod: [another sigh] Does it say you want the bucket?
Peggy: [interrupting] Yes
top 5 republican mcyts, according to jschlatt:
1. dream
2. jschlatt
3. tommyinnit
4. ???
5. ted cruz
Jason: Are you trying to seduce me?
Roy: Why, are you seducible?
le soleil coule à travers une prairie de jaunes, d'oranges et de rouges
une fille est assise dans les fleurs et sourit légèrement
elle rêve des nuages duveteux, ils dérivent paresseusement du bout de ses doigts
blanc pur contre les fleurs chaudes et moelleuses
Dick: I think you’re still suffering from the effects of your party last night.
Tim: All I drank was Redbull!
Dick: How many?
Tim: Eighteen.