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Locke: Good. Thanks, dad.

Locke:

Locke: Why is everyone staring at me?

Sabetha: You just called Chains “dad”. You said, “Thanks, dad.”

Locke: What? No, I didn’t. I said “Thanks, man.”

Father Chains: Do you see me as a father figure, Lamora?

Locke: No. If anything I see you as a “bother” figure cause you’re always bothering me.

Jean: Hey, show your father some respect!

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Wong: Aren’t you supposed to be babysitting Strange?
Mordo: He’s over there, dazzling some psychologists.
Villain!Stephen: All men are at least 30% attracted to me.
Villain!Stephen: My dad cried the day I was born because he knew he could never be better than me.
Villain!Stephen: At any given moment I’m thinking about one thing: Richard Dreyfuss hunkered over, eating dog food.
Villain!Stephen: I feel like I’m the Paris of people.
Villain!Stephen: I’m exquisite!
237 notes · See All

Bruce left Dick in charge, see what happens

Bruce, picking up the phone: what. happened.

Dick: remember when you told me not to burn down the Manor?

Bruce: you bURNED DOWN THE MANOR?!

Dick: no

Dick: there was a small fire and I had it put out almost immediately

Dick: this is a success story

Bruce: I’m coming home right now. And my house better not be on fire when I get there

Dick: okay, the house was never ‘on fire.’ Tim was on fire and only on his legs and I put it out almost immediately

Bruce: enough

Bruce: I’ll see you at home, Richard *hangs up*

Dick: *literally frozen with fear*

Tim: are you okay

Dick: he said Richard

Dick: I’m dead

62 notes · See All
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