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#source: friends
ouatsqincorrect · 2 days
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Zelena: I'm a very bad person. I'm a very, very bad person. I'm a horrible person.
Regina:
Emma:
Henry:
Rumple:
Belle:
Snow:
David:
Zelena: No, you're not Zelena! We still love you Zelena!
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daddiesdrarryy · 3 months
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James: Okay, you guys, there’s Reg. Watch. Just watch this
Regulus: *walking past*
James: See? Still pretending he’s not interested. Oh! He’s coming over. Just pretend like we don’t know him. We’ve forgotten who he is!
Regulus: Hey guys!
Remus: Hey Regulus!
Peter: Hello!
James: …
Sirius: Hey, Reggie. You know Prongs, my best friend? He’s nice. He’s not bad to look at, right?
James: Thanks, Pads
Regulus: Well, of course
Sirius: Do you want to go out on a date with him? You got my blessing!
James: Sirius!
Regulus: Sure. Is Sunday okay?
Sirius: Sunday’s perfect. He can’t wait
Regulus: On the date, I will be able to talk to him directly, right?
Sirius: Yeah
Regulus: All right, see you Sunday, Potter *leaves*
James: Okay. What the hell was that? You know what? Don’t answer me
James, giggling: I have a date with Reggie!
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fabuloustrash05 · 1 month
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Angel Dust, about Husk: He’s just so attractive…
Cherri: Really? The bar tender?
Angel Dust: Really?? Sir Pentious???
Cherri: …Touché.
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incorrectbatfam · 18 days
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Dick: You take two hours to eat a bowl of soup.
Tim: Oh please, you inhale your food.
Dick: I grew up with Jason. If you didn’t eat fast, you didn’t eat.
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romanoffshouse · 7 months
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Y/N: Date of birth?
Natasha: December 3rd, 1984.
Y/N: Age?
Natasha: Can't you figure that out based on my date of birth?
Y/N: ....I'm a superhero, Natasha, not a mathematician.
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waterfire1848 · 1 year
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[ The Batfamily out at a stand up comedy event in Metropolis. ]
Comedian: Where are you all from?
Bruce: Gotham.
Comedian: I’m sorry.
Bruce, a little louder: Gotham.
Comedian: No, I heard. I’m just sorry.
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incorrectquotesmcu · 5 months
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Natasha: You know, I was thinking, what if I, uh, unpack here?
Y/N: Then all of your stuff would be here.
Natasha: Well, what if all of my stuff was here?
Y/N: Then you’d be going back and forth all the time, I mean, it doesn’t make any sense.
Natasha:  Okay…
Natasha: What if we live together and you understand what I’m saying?
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hoarder-of-dragons · 5 months
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Aziraphale: And then he, uh and then he kissed me. Michael, who is so done at this point: Tongue? Aziraphale: Yeah. Uriel: Cool, now anyways the Second Coming- Aziraphale: But like, he had about 6000 years to do it, well I mean the arrangement started maybe 1500 years ago but- The rest of Angels: *groans*
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familiar-anonymous · 11 months
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Jesper is happy to be Wylan's sugarbaby✨
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writerswho · 1 year
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Wednesday: Oh my hell, Thing. I'm my Father.
Wednesday: I have trying so hard to not become my Mother, I did not see this coming.
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batfamgalore · 7 months
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*Dick walks in the room right after Jason hung up the phone on Tim after not helping Tim at all with a problem*
Dick: I have such a problem.
Jason: Well your timing couldn’t be better I am putting out fires all over the place.
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deermessrs · 1 year
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Remus, about jegulus: What happens if it doesn’t work out?
Sirius: Why wouldn’t it work out?
James: I don’t know…sometimes it doesn’t
Sirius: Is he not cute enough for you?
James: Wh—
Sirius: Does he not make enough money?
James: No, I’m just—
Remus: Maybe there’s someone else!
Sirius: Is there?! Is there someone else?
James: *stutters* No, there is—no!
Sirius: Then why the bloody hell are you dumping my brother?
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daddiesdrarryy · 8 months
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Barty: Is that a hickey?
Regulus: Oh, no. I just, I…fell down
Evan: On Potter’s lips?
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fabuloustrash05 · 4 months
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[After coming home from his date with Poppy]
Branch: Poppy kissed me!
John Dory: No way!
Floyd: Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god!!
Branch: It was unbelievable...
Floyd: Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god!!
John Dory: Okay, alright, we wanna hear everything! Bruce, unplug the phone. Branch, does this end well or is Floyd going to need tissues?
Branch: Oh it ended very well.
Clay: Do not start without me! Do not start without me!!
Bruce: Alright, let's hear about the kiss. Was it like a soft brush against your lips or was it like a "I gotta have you now" kinda thing?
Branch: Well, at first it was really intense and then... we just sorta sunk into it...
Floyd: So were you holding her or were her hands like on your back?
Branch: No, actually first she pulled me close to her by grabbing my vest... and then I moved my hands up to hold hers...
Brozone: Awww...
[cut to Poppy eating cupcakes with Viva]
Poppy: And then I kissed him.
Viva: Tongue?
Poppy: Yeah.
Viva: Cool.
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incorrectbatfam · 4 months
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[raiding the batfam's fridge]
Kon: All right, they've got water, orange juice, and... what looks like cider.
Bart: Taste it.
Kon: *drinks it*
Kon: Yep, it’s fat. I drank fat.
Bart: Yeah, I know. I did that two minutes ago.
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togrowoldinv · 4 months
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*Everyone getting together for a Thanksgiving celebration*
Y/n: Natasha, do you want to play football?
Nat: Um, Yelena and I aren’t supposed to play football
Clint: Says who, your mom?
Nat and Yelena after a long pause: …yeah
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