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cherrydreamer · 7 months ago
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Incorrect Harringrove
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lesbian-deadpool · 8 months ago
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Thor, fighting with Tony over Bruce: I lost my brother to suicide.
Tony: Okay no way, you cannot use that to get the cute guy and the last blueberry muffin.
Thor: Did I use that today already? I’m sorry.
(Bonus)
Y/N: I thought Thanos killed Loki?
Thor: He did. I was talking about the first time.
Thor: Anyway, he was stupid enough to attack Thanos with a butter knife, so it was practically suicide.
A mysterious, green snake, across the room: Heh heh.
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incorrectbatfam · 9 months ago
Conversation
Jason: Get kidnapped. You'll find out who your real friends are. I promise you that.
Duke: I just feel like there are steps you could probably take before that one...
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mischiefhasbeenmanaged · 8 months ago
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Sirius: Alright, time to head off [giving Remus a kiss]
James: [confused]
Peter: [shocked]
Sirius: [realizing he just kissed Remus in front of everyone]
Sirius: [walking over to James] Off I go! [kissing James]
Sirius: [going over to Peter] Until tonight! [kissing Peter]
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Conversation
Tony: My father would be so happy that we’re trying to figure this out. I bet he’s looking up at us and smiling right now.
Peter: Looking up?
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lesbian-deadpool · 29 days ago
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Alexei: *Showing Y/N baby pictures of Natasha and Yelena*
Y/N, picking up a picture: Aw look at baby Yelena with blue hair.
Natasha, taking a closer look at the picture: That would be me.
Yelena: Yeah, she’s gayer than me.
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mischiefhasbeenmanaged · 2 months ago
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Andromeda: *is surrogate for wolfstar baby*
Andromeda: *to healer*
I am having a baby I need assistance
Healer: Alright who’s the father?
*looking at Ted, Remus and Sirius*
Andromeda: Oh *pointing to Ted* he’s not the father he’s my husband.
My cousin is the father *pointing to Sirius*
Sirius: *to Andromeda*
I’m going to miss you saying that to people
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incorrectbatfam · 9 months ago
Conversation
Dick: Alright, get up.
Jason: What?
Dick: Get up. You're in my seat.
Jason: How is this your seat?
Dick: Because I was sitting there.
Jason: But then you got up.
Dick: It's not like I went to Spain! That's the last place I was sitting. You knew I was coming back!
Jason: *points to the bathroom*
Jason: Technically, the last place you were sitting was in there, so...
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scar-and-boomerang · a year ago
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Sokka: So Zuko kissed me.
Katara: Nooo!
Aang: Oh my spirits oh my spirits oh my spirits!
Sokka: It's unbelievable.
Aang: Oh my spirits oh my spirits oh my spirits!
Katara: Ok, alright, we wanna hear everything. Aang, get the teapot and shut Momo up. Sokka, does this end well or do we need tissues?
Sokka: Oh, it ended very well ;)
Aang, running back with the tea: Do not start without me! Do not start without me!
Katara, after Aang has settled down: Alright, let's hear about the kiss. Was it like, a soft brush against your lips or was it like a, y'know, "I gotta have you now" kinda thing?
Sokka: Well, at first it was really intense, y'know, and then...oh spirits, and then we just sorta sunk into it...
Katara: Ohhhh, so, ok, was he like holding you or were his hands like, on your back?
Sokka: Nah, actually first they started out on my waist... and then they slid up, and then they were in my hair...
Katara & Aang: Oooh...
Meanwhile...
Zuko: And then I kissed him.
Toph: Tongue?
Zuko: Yeah.
Toph: Cool.
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mischiefhasbeenmanaged · 6 months ago
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James: You know what you just need to find out if Remus likes you too. Otherwise this is all a moo point
Sirius: a moo point?
James: yeah you know, like a cows opinion. It’s useless. It’s a moo.
Sirius: [to Peter] have I been living with him too long or did that all make sense?
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incorrectbatfam · 9 months ago
Conversation
Kon: Can we go home already? Tim's getting chilly.
Tim, shivering: N-n-no I'm n-not!
Cassie: Then why are you wearing Kon's jacket?
Tim: Because it's flattering!
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incorrectomionequotes · a year ago
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*Lucius dies and Draco inherits the Malfoy fortune*
Hermione: I bet it would make your father so happy to know that you are running the manor. I bet he is looking up and smiling.
Draco: Looking up?
Hermione: Oh yeah, he’s in hell for sure.
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its-hp-bitch · a year ago
Conversation
[Draco unconsciously licked his finger to wipe some dirt off Scorpius' face]
Scorpius: [winces] Dad? What are you doing?
Draco: Did I just…
Draco: [gasps] Oh, god. I’m my mother. This is horrible.
Draco: And I’ve been trying so hard not to be my father.
Draco: I did not see this coming.
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daddiesdrarryy · a year ago
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Lily: *holding baby Harry for the first time*
James: Everybody, there's someone I'd like you to meet. This is Harry. Harry, this is everybody
Remus: Oh god, I can't believe one of us actually has one of these
Sirius: I know, I still am one of these!
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incorrect-good-omens · a year ago
Conversation
Crowley: What are we gonna do?
Aziraphale: I don't know. Maybe sushi?
Crowley: ...
Aziraphale: ...
Crowley: About Armageddon, angel.
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