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#source: incorrect quotes generator
my-archerboy · 40 minutes ago
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Jace: Ugh, there’s always that weak bitch in the group who isn’t down with murder
Jace: *glares at Simon*
Simon: Well, sorry I have morals!
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incorrectcaptiveprince · 3 hours ago
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Laurent: FIGHT ME, YOU NERD ASS SLUT!
Damen: At least try to sound slightly more sophisticated when you threaten someone.
Laurent: Oh, I'm sorry. I should ask; dost thou want to engage in a duel, my good bitch?
Damen: Somehow that's worse.
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incorrectpeterandbucky · 6 hours ago
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Peter : Goddamn it, the printer broke while printing out Bucky's birthday invitations.
Steve: Well, what are they supposed to say?
Peter : "Bucky's birthday".
Steve: So, what do they say instead?
Peter : "Bucky’s bi".
Steve:
Steve: Works out either way.
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northlight14 · 16 hours ago
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Kid Alex (anxiety), in a high voice, holding barbie: hey ken! I was thinking about going back to school and starting a career!
Kid Ethel (duality), in a deep voice, holding ken: nonsense, barbie. you’re staying home and having my kids
Iris (morality): what are you guys doing?
Kid Alex: playing systemic oppression
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incorrectdetectiveanna · 18 hours ago
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Anna: Good night moon.
Anna: Good night trees.
Anna: Good night ghosts that only I can see.
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weirdkev27 · 18 hours ago
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(Scene: Olivia and Yunan's apartment. Yunan, Olivia, and Marcy are there, discussing the night before.)
Marcy: Anne kissed me.
Olivia: Oh my frog, oh my frog, oh my frog!
Marcy:  It was unbelievable!
Olivia: Oh my frog, oh my frog, oh my frog!
Yunan: Okay, all right. We want to hear everything. Lady Olivia, get the Juice and lock the door. Marcy, does this end well or do we need to get tissues?
Marcy:  Oh, it ended very well.
Yunan: Oh.
Olivia: (getting the juice) Do not start without me! Do not start without me!
Yunan: Okay, all right, let's hear about the kiss. Was it like, was it like a soft brush against your lips? Or was it like a, you know, a "I gotta have you now" kind of thing?
Marcy: Well, at first it was really intense, you know. And then, oh, frog, and then we just sort of sunk into it.
Yunan: Okay, so, okay, was she holding you? Or was her hand like on your back?
Marcy:  No, actually first they started on my waist. And then, they slid up, and then, they were in my hair.
Yunan and Olivia: Ohh!
(Scene: Plantar's Fwagon. Anne, Sprig, Polly, and Hop Pop are there eating pizza.)
Anne: And, uh, and then I kissed her.
Polly: Tongue?
Anne: Yeah.
Polly: Cool.
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hamlet-shit-posts · 19 hours ago
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Hamlet: Okay okay stop asking me if I'm straight, gay, bi, whatever. I identify as a FUCKING THREAT.
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Cassius: You can de-escalate any situation by simply saying, 'Are we about to kiss?'
Cassius: Doesn't work for getting out of speeding tickets, by the way.
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incorrectpeterandbucky · 22 hours ago
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Peter : Make no mistake. Not only am I party rocking, but I am also in the house tonight.
Bucky: But are you shuffling?
Peter : Everyday.
Steve: What language are you two speaking??
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lenaswifey · 22 hours ago
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Allen: Not to brag or anything, but I can wake up without my alarm clock now simply due to my crippling and overwhelming anxiety, so…
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Sunny: On the count of three, what's your favorite cake? One, two, three- Sunny and Alexander, in unison: Chocolate cake peanut butter frosting with chocolate chunks! Michaela: Our turn, Oliver! One, two, three- vanilla! Oliver, deadpan: I've never had cake, what is cake.
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northlight14 · 23 hours ago
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Basically after Olivia and Tabby fused into Octavia for the first time...
Octavia (creativity monarch): What’s up guys? I’m back.
Atty (logic): what the- you can’t be here. You’re dead. I saw you die.
Octavia: death is a social construct
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northlight14 · 23 hours ago
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Octavia (creativity monarch): I learned some very valuable lessons from this.
Atty (logic): I’m guessing they are all horrible distortions on the lessons you actually should’ve taken away.
Octavia: Death isn’t real, I’m basically God
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lenaswifey · 23 hours ago
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Kurama: Remember when you didn’t try to solve all of your problems with attempted murder?
Hiei: Stop romanticizing the past.
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lenaswifey · 23 hours ago
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Kurama: You have to apologize to Kuwabara.
Hiei: Fine.
Hiei: ‘Unfuck you’ or whatever.
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randomf1stuff · a day ago
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Seb: I have the sharpest memory here - name one time I forgot something! Lance: You left me, Mick, and Charles in a Walmart parking lot at 2am a day ago. Seb: I did that on purpose, try again.
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merlinsbbeard · a day ago
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Lily: you lying, cheating piece of SHIT
James: oh yeah? you’re the one that thinks they can get away with everything they do. WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD.
Lily: I’m leaving and I’m taking Harry with me
Sirius, packing up the monopoly board: okay, I think we should stop playing now
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Conversation
Laurent: I wasn’t that drunk.
Damen: You colored my face with a highlighter because you said I was important.
Laurent: BECAUSE YOU ARE!
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