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#source: me and my coworker
minecraftcorrectmode · 3 months
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Ivor, taking Jesse into a store: All right, here we are. You can pick out your own Christmas gift so I don't get it wrong... Ivor: Here, do you like pandas? (a few minutes later) Jesse, happily leaving the store with a panda plushie in their arms: Now to ponder names! Ivor: Well, does it really NEED a name? Jesse, scandalised:
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incorrect-hs-quotes · 10 months
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Roxy: my hand is so tingly !!! i kept sticking it into hot water :(
Dirk: How many times before you realized the water was hot?
Roxy: first :3
Dirk: How many times did you stick your hand in
Roxy: lik…. 4
Dirk: Do you understand now why your hand is tingling??
Roxy: im starting 2 get it a lil bit ya
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incorrect-losers · 2 years
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Eddie: Sorry, I have the hiccups
Bev: Oh do you need me to scare you?
Eddie: You can’t be scared when you’re in a constant state of fear
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The Assassi's (questionably) Incorrect Quotes:
Orange: Marc, I'm gonna commit a crime, but I don't know which one!
Blue: Be careful of blood, we have a meeting in an hour!
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Bruce: I'll give you 20$ to stay longer.
Jason: How long?
Bruce: Just a few hours.
Jason:
Jason: Deal.
Damian: I'll give you 40$ to leave RIGHT now.
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alpacacare-archive · 5 months
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inside you there are two wolfs
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poppy5991 · 3 months
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Aizawa: Hello?
All Might: Are you in your office?
Aizawa: …you just called my office phone.
All Might: Oh…well now I’m gonna hang up because I’m embarrassed.
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can-a-tuna-fish · 1 month
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Don’t let him fool you, she has the worst case of senioritis you’ve ever seen.
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lucky-cat-13 · 2 months
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Wei Wuxian: Do you cook?
Nie Huaisang: I'm always cooking, like, emotionally.
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skooterskootyskoot · 2 months
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firstfandomfangirl · 4 months
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people love you silently more than you know
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minecraftcorrectmode · 2 months
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Ivor, sighing: A full pitcher and a half of 'we didn't die celebration' cocktails and two double spirits... Ivor: Well, no wonder you're drunk. Jesse, half passed out on his shoulder: ʷʰᵒ ˢᵃⁱᵈ ⁱ'ᵐ ᵈʳᵘⁿᵏ
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old-wild-child · 7 months
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Hawkeye, mad that the coffee machine isn't working: “COME FASTER!!!”
Mulcahy: “That’s what she said.” *giggles*
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dragonflavoredcake · 2 years
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Grian: Hey shortie!
Bdubs, vibrating with comedic rage: I'M FOUR INCHES TALLER THAN YOU!
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dragonsdendoodles · 1 year
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Horace: *dropping things left and right* Apologies, it appears I’ve forgotten how to fingers today.
Enoch: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Masterlist
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jasonsthunderthighs · 2 years
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Roy: I think I'm funny.
Jason: You keep lyin to yourself.
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