#source: my brain

[mooncalf87]

Alastor: did you just start dating Angel because now I will feel bad if I take you away from the hotel

Husk, purring, his head in Angels lap: nah thats just a plus

Angel: suck it bitch

Alastor: I would hurt you if Charlie wouldn't kill me as a result

#source: my brain #hazbin hotel husk #hazbin husk #husk hazbin hotel #huskerdust #husker #husker hazbin hotel #angel dust x husk #huskdust #hazbin hotel alastor #alastor #alastor the radio demon #hazbin alastor #alastor hazbin hotel #angel x husk #angel dust hazbin hotel #angel dust #angeldust #hazbin hotel incorrect quotes

[romanoffshouse]

Tony: Y/N, your phone is ringing.

Y/N: Who is it?

Tony: It says "mommy is calling".

Y/N: Oh, it's Natasha.

#source: my brain #incorrect marvel quotes #marvel incorrect quotes #natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff x you #natasha x reader #natasha x you #black widow #black widow x reader #tony stark #tony stark x reader #tony stark x you #tony x reader #iron man #iron man x reader #marvel #marvel x reader #the avengers #avengers x reader

[ralvezfanatic]

Y/N, to Spencer while straddling his lap: Glasses stay on during sex.

Spencer, who was about to take his glasses off: Oh, um.. okay.

Y/N: Wait I meant that as in my glasses. I'm blind as fuck.

Spencer, slightly confused: Oh. *moves his hand to take his glasses off*

Y/N: Wait no, keep yours on too, they're super hot

Spencer, still confused and now flustered: ...

#criminal minds incorrect quotes #source: my brain #cm incorrect quotes #y/n is actually me #i cant see shit without my glasses #spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x male reader #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds x male reader

[togrowoldinv]

Natasha, to the team: I am absolutely not a sappy person

Natasha, when y/n is around: Do you even know how much I love you?

Y/n: How much, babe?

Natasha: I haven’t figured it out yet since I’m pretty sure the limit does not exist

#natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff #soft natasha romanoff #marvel incorrect quotes #natasha romanoff incorrect quotes #thinking about my sweet wife tonight #source: my brain

[snowe-zolynn-rogers]

Solar: Look at this thing.

Solar: *holds up Jack like a cat*

Solar: This thing has not a single thought in its head.

Solar: But this thing is my son.

#sun and moon show #sams #five nights at freddy's #fnaf #fnaf solar #fnaf jack o moon #incorrect sun and moon show quotes #incorrect sams quotes #incorrect fnaf quotes #incorrect quotes #source: my brain #aka my missing 4pm post #from december 9th

[esmerxyaugusta]

y/n: do you ever wonder where birds go at night or where they live?

nat: no.... but they live in trees... i think..

y/n: well guess what! i never think abt birds and when i do.

y/n: i feel like birds just un-spawn at night and respawn in the morning and annoy us to our deaths...

nat: ......

i was thinking abt this in the car before...

#source: unknown #source: my brain #marvel #natasha romanoff #incorrect quotes #black widow #marvel incorrect quotes #natasha romanoff x reader #marvel cinematic universe #y/n #gn reader #black widow incorrect quote #natasha romanov #natasha x reader #natasha x you #fem reader #female reader #x reader #gender neutral reader #reader insert #male reader

[timdrake-yumm]

Dick: *walks into the room to see Tim with his face in his hands, seemingly hiding from the world, and Jason definitely laughing way harder than necessary* uhhh what’s going on?

Jason: Tim was-Tim was tryin’ to remember what STEM stands for, right?

Dick: okay? And?

Jason: so he goes- he goes “Science, Technology, Engineering and—”

Tim: *finally looking up, seems dead inside but with a manic gleam you can only get from an unholy combination of sleep deprivation and pure embarrassment* Magic! I said magic! What kind of- I’m such an idiot! *puts his head in his hands again*

Damian: t-t, surely you know that the ‘M’ stands for Mathematics, not even you can be that dumb

Tim: I know- *looks up sharply* WAIT, did you just compliment me?!

Damian: don’t be ridiculous Drake, you must be more sleep deprived than I thought. Come, you must not wither away here; Pennyworth has already prepared your room for you and it would be rude to dawdle

*a confident Damian and a confused Tim leave the room. Dick and Jason look at each other, baffled*

Dick: what just happened?

Jason: I have no idea

#dc #dc comics #tim drake #jason todd #dick grayson #damian wayne #batfam #batfamily #red robin #robin #red hood #dc red robin #nightwing #batbros #batboys #incorrect batboys quotes #source: my brain

[siriusly-remu]

james: remus, how did you finish all your work so fast? remus, without missing a beat: gay determination james: ... james: all i have is gay procrastination :(

#source: my brain #the marauders #marauders #marauders era #dead gay wizards #james potter #remus lupin #moony #the marauders era #james and remus #incorrect marauders quotes #incorrect quotes

[yoursleepyass]

Demon: Sir,we've got a Winchester.

Crowley: Which one?

Demon: the tall one.

Crowley: which one they're both tall!

Demon: oh,uh...the gay one..I guess?

Crowley: WHICH ONE THEY'RE BOTH GAY

#supernatural #spn #dean winchester #destiel #dean x castiel #deancas #spn incorrect quotes #spn quotes #crowley #sam x gabriel #sabriel #sam winchester #source: my brain

[luvbazkrekker]

JJK fake tweets!! | pt.1

#jjk smau #jjk tweets #jjktwt #jjk twitter #jujutsu kaisen #geto suguru #suguru geto #gojo satoru #satoru gojo #nanami kento #shoko ieiri #utahime iori #choso kamo #yuki tsukumo #source: twitter #source: my brain

[mooncalf87]

Stolas: I sometimes feel as though Blitz doesn't listen to me

Octavia and Loona: he doesn't listen to a lot of people, dad

Blitz: (head banging to Mozart in the corner)

Stolas: hm.

#source: my brain #stolas helluva boss #stolitz #helluva boss stolas #stolas goetia #helluva stolas #stolas #blitzø #helluva boss blitz #blitz #blitzo #loona helluva boss #loona #loona hellhound #octavia helluva boss #octavia goetia #helluva boss incorrect quotes

[romanoffshouse]

Wanda: Would you rather marry Natasha, or–

Y/N: Yes, marry her.

Wanda: I didn’t say the other thing–

Y/N: I don’t need to hear it.

#source: my brain #incorrect marvel quotes #marvel incorrect quotes #incorrect mcu quotes #wanda maximoff #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff x you #wanda x reader #wanda x you #the scarlet witch #scarlet witch x reader #natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff x you #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha x you #natasha x reader #black widow #black widow x reader #natasha romanov #natalia romanova #marvel #marvel x reader #the avengers

[togrowoldinv]

*Y/n talking to Wanda and Peter*

Y/n: So, big news. Natasha and I are together

Wanda: Oh, we heard

Y/n, shocked: What? Who told you?

Peter: No, y/n, we heard…

Y/n: Oh

*Natasha across the room choking on her drink*

#natasha romanoff x reader #marvel incorrect quotes #source: my brain #natasha romanoff #wanda maximoff #peter parker

[snowe-zolynn-rogers]

Eclipse: *sneezes and his magic goes haywire and kills all the lights in the daycare*

Solar: Great job, Eclipse.

Eclipse: I’m sick, leave me alone!

#sun and moon show #sams #five nights at freddy's #fnaf #fnaf eclipse #fnaf solar #incorrect sun and moon show quotes #incorrect sams quotes #incorrect fnaf quotes #incorrect quotes #source: my brain #aka my missing 8am post #from november 8th

[nixster627]

Nie Huaisang: Wei-xiong, when did you get a new shirt?

Wei Wuxian: It's not new. Lan Zhan said I've had it forever. I must have just forgotten about it.

*LATER*

Nie Huaisang: How long have you been gaslighting Wei-xiong so that you can buy him clothes?

Lan Wangji: If I don't then he won't let me spoil him.

#mdzs #grandmaster of demonic cultivation #the untamed #mo dao zu shi #cql #mxtx #incorrect quotes #incorrect mdzs #incorrect cql #wei wuxian #lan wangji #nie huaisang #wangxian #source: my brain

[iwillwalkthroughthefire]

The Inner Circle: Hey, Cassian, does it freak you out at all that Nesta is literally death incarnate?

Cassian: Smash.

#incorrect acotar quotes #acosf #sarah j maas #acotar #acomaf #acowar #nesta archeron #nessian #source: my brain