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the-black-bulls · 2 days ago
Asta: Captain Yami, what kind of guy do you think Noelle likes?
Yami: [reading newspaper] The dumb and strong-up enough type to go up against death head-on.
Asta:
[Minutes later in front of the Silver Eagles HQ]
Liebe: You're not gonna do that—
Asta: CAPTAIN NOZEL!
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Lady D: Would one of you like to explain to me why more than half of our maidens are no longer maidens?
Daniela: Global warming
Lady D: Elaborate.
Daniela: Earth hot = girl hot. Bug girls cold. Bug girls need hot girl to live
Lady D: That still doesn’t explain-
Cassandra: Do you want us do die, Mother? We were forced to seek out the warmth of hot maidens!!
Lady D: We have no less than fifty fireplaces for you three to warm yourselves at! That's no reason to ruin this year's harvest...
Lady D: Bela, you've been quiet. What is your excuse?
Bela: ..Horny?
            -submitted by @second-drawer-on-the-left
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incorrect-dnd-classes · 10 days ago
Warlock: If you're struggling to pay for wizard college, why not sell your soul for money?
Wizard: I'm not doing that.
Warlock: Why, do you think you're better than me?
Wizard: If I do that Paladin's going to cry again and I don't think I can handle it.
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Adora: Can you at least write Glimmer a letter, please? It’s her first birthday without her mother.
Catra: Alright, I’ll try. But this is NOT because I like you.
Adora:
Catra:
Catra: Anyways, *grabs paper* dear... incompetent... dumbass...
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rwbybutincorrect · 2 months ago
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Nora: If only there was somewhere I could sit
Ren: There's a free chair right there
Nora: *Throws the chair through the window* If only there was somewhere I could sit
Ren: *Sighs* come here then
Nora: *Sits on Ren's lap* Finally caught on did you~?
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Mikey: Two bros, chilin in a hot tub, five feet apart because they're not gay.
Casey: But I am gay???
Donnie: I'm bi?
Raph: Two bros, chillin in a hot hot tub, five feet apart because they're FUCKING COWARDS!!
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Caitlyn: Vi remember how I said I love you because you are the kindest, strongest person I know.
Vi:
Vi: Where’s the jar?
Caitlyn *shyly hold out sealed pickle jar*
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smashing-quotes · 4 months ago
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Mewtwo: Completely against my will, I have been befriended.
Ness: It’s your turn on Mario Party now.
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Twilight: My greatest fear is words that sound like letters.
Rainbow: Why?.
Applejack: Are you okay?
Rarity: I see. Any tea?
Pinkie: Empty.
Rarity: Tedious…
Fluttershy: I envy you.
Twilight: Screaming
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incorrecttokyorev · a month ago
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Baji: So what are you going to be for Halloween?
Kazutora: A hero.
Baji: Which one? Spiderman? Batman?
Kazutora: Huh? What are you talking about? I’m going to kill Mikey, my enemy.
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the-black-bulls · 2 months ago
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Asta: This is Noelle. She’s the strongest, fiercest woman to ever grace the Clover Kingdom, and she’s going to be my wife one day!
Gauche: This is Grey. She is everything I could’ve hoped for and more. She is purity personified and I’m blessed to be with her.
Yuno: This is Charmy. I think she has rabies.
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incorrectdwpquotes · a month ago
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Nigel: Did it hurt when you crawled your way out of hell?
Miranda: I strutted, and no not at all.
.
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Buford: whenever ferb types for more than 20 seconds in discord i begin to fear for my life cause i just KNOW that shit will hurt
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incorrect-sides-quotes · 10 months ago
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Virgil: I wouldn’t mess with Logan right now, he’s kinda pissed.
Roman: Aww, c’mon, emo! It can’t be that bad!
Roman:*he walks into Logan’s room*
Roman: Hey, smartphone-
Logan: If you do not exit my room within the next 10 seconds, I will invert your ribcage, detach it from your spine with pliers, disinfect it, hang it on the wall and use it as a shelf to display your decapitated head.
Roman:
Roman:*walks out slowly*
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rwbybutincorrect · 12 days ago
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Qrow to Tyrian: I'm placing you under arrest for murder, conspiracy to commit murder and, I don't know, possibly littering.
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Karai: What do you guys say we break into an expensive hotel pool, skinny dip, and drink Chardonnay?
Mona Lisa: I do not know what this Chardonnay is, but down for some naked swimming.
Shinigami: I'll bring the wine!
Casey: And I know the perfect place!
Leo: Guys we are not drinking any Chardonnay! That's for basic bitches with no money. We're going with Domaine.
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incorrectnostraightroads · 3 months ago
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Mayday: Zuke said that gravy is a drink. Discuss.
DJSS:
DJSS: It’s a sauce... A type of SAUCE.
Eve: I second that.
Mayday: I said DISCUSS
DK West: I can't agree more that gravy is, indeed, a drink.
Mayday: There are two types of people.
Eve: Though, I do dip my chicken in Coke.
Mayday:
Mayday: There are three types of people.
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Caitlyn: Vi, have you seen my hat?
Vi: Nope can’t say I have.
Seraphine in the next room: *with a poor British accent* Boom headshot!
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smashing-quotes · 4 months ago
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Kazuya: I don’t want to hear a single word from ANY of you.
Ness: Bada beebo.
Villager: Bogos binted.
Inkling: Bababooey.
Kazuya: I SAID SHUT THE FUCK UP.
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