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#source: the big bang theory
incorrectbatfam · 3 months ago
Conversation
Duke: Is he always like this when he loses?
Jason: Oh yeah, you should've seen the Great Jenga Tantrum of 2012.
Damian: DRAKE BUMPED THE TABLE AND YOU KNOW IT!
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daddiesdrarryy · 3 days ago
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Regulus: What did you do?
Sirius: I gave James a new look. It's cute, huh?
Regulus: Yeah, it's cute, that's the problem. I don't need other girls to see him walking around like sex on a stick
James: He’s right. I'm too hot
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incorrectbatfamquotes · 2 months ago
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[Damian Wayne found a dog alone in the streets of Gotham]
Dick Grayson: I think he looks like someone’s pet. Maybe we should put up posters.
Damian Wayne: Yes, it should have a big picture of him and the words “Is this your dog? Not anymore.”
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waterfire1848 · 8 months ago
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Hal to Barry [ Watching Diana, Clark and Bruce fight. ]: His only options here are to fake a heart attack or have a real one.
Diana: Well!? Come on, Bruce! Let’s talk about this!
Bruce: My arm is feeling numb.
Barry: Nailed it.
Clark: That’s the wrong arm for a heart attack, genius.
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Billy: How good am I with pets?
Billy:
Billy: I've been taking care of Max for years and she only bit me twice
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mischiefhasbeenmanaged · 14 days ago
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*Fancy Ball*
Narcissa: Reggie come dance with me
Regulus: *sitting on the couch* No
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sometimesiwriteandothershit · 6 months ago
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Steve: You called the cops because someone hacked your minecraft account?
Y/n: What choice did I have?!
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peabrainer · 7 months ago
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Y/N: *to Natasha and Wanda* Our children will be smart and beautiful!
Yelena: Not to mention imaginary.
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lesbian-deadpool · 8 months ago
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(Natasha showing Y/N old pictures of herself)
Y/N: Aww, look how cute you were.
Natasha: Y/N, please, of course I was cute. Look how I turned out.
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owlhouseshitposts · 3 months ago
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Tumblr media Tumblr media
The Owl House + Incorrect Quotes
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incorrectbatfam · 6 months ago
Conversation
Stephanie: I would have been here sooner but the bus kept stopping for other people to get on it.
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daddiesdrarryy · a month ago
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Draco: Attention, all Slytherins. I’ve taken the liberty of having these pins made for our rematch with the Gryffindors
Pansy: The Potter Crushers?
Draco: No, not the Potter Crushers. The Potter “Crushers”
Pansy: I don’t get it
Blaise: Rita Skeeter wrote an article called “Potter Crusher” once
Pansy: Still don’t get it
Draco: It’s a blindingly clever play on words. By appropriating his last name and adding the S, we imply that we’ll be the crushers of Potter
Pansy: Okay, I’m sorry, honey, but the Potter Crushers sounds like a bunch of people who like Potter, you can just admit you like him already
Draco: What? No! Again, it’s not the Potter Crushers. It’s the Potter “Crushers”
Theodore: You know, if you want it to mean you’re crushing on Potter, it’d be the “Potter” Crushers
Draco: Do you people even hear yourselves? It’s not the Potter Crushers. It’s not the “Potter” Crushers. It’s the Potter “Crushers”
Harry, walks by: Hey, Ron, look. Malfoy made pins after my name
Draco: No, it’s not...Never mind
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incorrectbatfamquotes · 4 months ago
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Alfred: [showing Barbara Gordon old pictures of Dick Grayson]
Barbara Gordon: Aww, look how cute you were.
Dick Grayson: Babs, please. Of course I was cute. Look how I turned out.
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waterfire1848 · 4 months ago
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[ The fire siblings coming back to the palace. Zuko has a hurt foot and Azula has a bloody nose. ]
Sokka: What happened?!?
Zuko: I tried to let go of my anger, and threw a rock at my foot!
Katara, pointing to Azula: And what happened to you?!
Azula: Oh! I laughed so hard I burst a blood vessel in my nose. It’s fine.
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Joyce: Oh, Billy did all of the dishes
Steve: How do you know I didn't wash them?
Joyce: Because once when all of the knives were dirty, you cut a bagel with your keys
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nightthief200 · a month ago
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Steph: Quick poll, PS4 or Xbox one. Jason?
Jason: Xbox one.
Steph: Barbara?
Barbara: Huh?
Steph: Tim?
Tim: PS4.
Steph: Dick?
Dick: Both great.
Steph: Bruce?
Bruce: I like the Wii.
Steph: Thanks grandpa.
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raphael-angele · 2 months ago
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Bruce and Dick Sharing Custody Over Damian
Bruce: Hey, just to let you know, I'm completely fine with you still being around Damian.
Dick: Oh. Oh, good. Cuz I was planning on taking him to go buy new sheets and towels
Bruce: ...I was gonna do that.
Dick: Oh, then um...you can take him for shoes.
Bruce: I just took him for shoes
Dick: Well, all I hear is, they hurt his feet.
Bruce: Fine, I'll take him on Saturday
Dick: Oh, yeah, no. Can't. I'm taking him to the Anime Convention this Saturday.
Bruce: You're taking him to an Anime Convention?
Dick: He gave me puppy dog eyes, Bruce. Was I gonna say no?
Bruce: Okay, fine. Just tell me if he's gonna stuff his mouth with junk food. I don't wanna have Alfred cook a nice dinner for him and see it go to waste.
Dick: We're going to an Anime Convention, Bruce; He's gonna eat junk food.
Bruce: All I'm saying is, give me a heads up
Dick: Okay, whatever.
Bruce: And don't let Black Butler things near him. He'll have nightmares and I'll have to deal with it.
Dick: What's wrong with Black Butler?
Bruce: Wish I knew, he's fine with Promised Neverland.
---
Dick, coming in through the door: We're home!
Damian, coming in from behind him, with a bag full of Anime Merch and Goodies: *yawning and tired*
Bruce: It's 10 PM. Where have you been?
Damian: We went to the movies and watched Arriety. It was really pretty.
Bruce: I was gonna go see that with him.
Dick: Well, how was I suppose to know that?
Damian: It's okay. *To Bruce* I can see it again with you.
Bruce: AND I have food here, you were gonna call
Dick: I know, I know
Damian: I can still eat
Dick: No, you can't. We've discussed this, no food right before bed time. Now go put on your jammies and brush your teeth.
Damian: ...okay. Just, please don't fight.
Bruce: We're not fighting.
Dick: Just go, baby.
Damian: *walks to the stairs*
Bruce: Aren't you going to thank Dick for taking you to the Anime Convention?
Damian, sleepy: Thank you, Richard.
Dick: You're welcome, baby bat.
Bruce, to Dick: Want a cup of coffee?
Dick: Oh, I should probably get going.
Bruce: Dick, it's just a cup of coffee
Dick: *sigh* yeah, okay.
Jason and Tim who were watching the whole thing from the sidelines:
Tim: Is it just me or...
Jason: Yea, whole thing seems twisted to me, too.
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