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#source: the office
Derek: If we don't figure out this security breach, every negative email we've ever written about Peter is going to be automatically sent to him.
Stiles: What emails are you talking about?
Derek, reading aloud: "Peter's favorite songs: Creep by TLC, Creep by Radiohead." Remember that one, Scott?
Scott: [shrugs]
Derek: "There's no way he hasn't strangled at least one stripper." Lydia.
Lydia: I stand by that.
Derek: "He eats his yogurt like he is punishing it for disappointing him." Stiles.
Stiles: That's not that bad actually.
Derek: "P.S. We should kill him."
Stiles: Aw fuck.
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Billy: *Taps pen*
Robin: *Taps pen back*
Billy: *Taps pen in response*
Steve: Stop it
Robin: Stop what?
Steve: I know you two are talking about me in Morse code
Billy: Yes, that’s exactly what we’re doing. In our limited free-time, we took a class on a very outdated, very unneccesary form of communication just so we could talk about you in front of you.
Robin, later, to Dustin: That’s exactly what we did
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theretherefenton · 19 hours ago
Drunken me trying to explain the plot of RDR2 to my friend who never went past Colter:
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xiiiwayfinders · a day ago
Braig: Why be the team dad when you can be the team fun uncle? I’ve never heard of anyone rebelling against their fun uncle.
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ouatsqincorrect · 2 days ago
Emma: [trying to climb onto the roof to do a backflip on to a trampoline]
Regina: [trying to stop her]
Zelena: [cheering her on]
Rumple: [making a bet with David on whether or not Emma will hurt herself]
Belle, looking into the camera like she's on The Office: I need new friends.
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dculater · a day ago
Tim: is there no way we can get rid of Damian?
Dick: not without cause, Tim
Tim: i have a cause, it’s because i hate him-
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fyeahinsidejob · 2 days ago
Brett, to Andre, Gigi, Glenn, and Myc: We're not mad, we're just disappointed.
Reagan, to Brett: No, we are mad.
Brett: Yes, we are. We are livid...
Brett: But, we're going to let this one slide.
Reagan: No, we're not!
Brett: I'm not a mind reader like Myc, Reagan!
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incorrectbatfamquotes · 13 days ago
Barbara Gordon: You came up to my desk in the Tower and said, “This may sound weird, and there’s no reason for me to know this, but that mixed berry yogurt you’re about to eat is expired.”
Dick Grayson: And that was the moment you knew you liked me?
Barbara Gordon: Yes.
Dick Grayson: Wow. Can we make it a different moment?
Barbara Gordon: Nope.
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lesbian-deadpool · 28 days ago
Y/N: I got a tattoo for you.
Natasha: I didn’t ask you to get that Nike tick, you did that for you!
Y/N: “Just do it”
Y/N: You were the it that I was just doing.
Natasha: *Groans*
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Derek: I would like your undivided attention, please.
Stiles: You couldn't handle my undivided attention.
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lilium-major · a month ago
regulus: do i want to be feared or loved?
regulus: well, that’s easy. both.
regulus: i want people to be afraid of how much they love me.
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incorrect-genshin-impact · 2 months ago
Paimon: Lumine, what's wrong?
Lumine: Everything's wrong! The stress of being the leader has caused me to go into a depression!
Kaeya: Depression? Isn't that just a fancy word for feeling bummed out?
Lumine: Kaeya, you ignorant slut.
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Peter: There's a master key and a spare key for the Sanctum. Doctor Dad has both of them.
Harley: When we asked, "What if you die, Doc? How will we get into the house?" He said, "If I'm dead, you all have been dead for weeks."
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mischiefhasbeenmanaged · 10 days ago
Sirius:*showing Remus different dueling techniques*
Now let me take you from behind-
Remus: Let you what?!
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