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#source:the simpsons
superdogbiter · a month ago
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Loki:”If i ever die in a hospital,will you do one thing for me?”
Mobius:”Anything kitten”
Loki:”Blow up the hospital”
Mobius:..................Well i said i’d do it,so i guess i have to”
Loki:”That’s my Moby”
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aosbuskids · 2 months ago
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Daisy: Sometimes I feel like God is teasing me. Just like he teased Moses in the desert.
Coulson: Tested, Daisy. God
tested Moses.
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Melon: *dragging a bag big enough to contain a corpse*
Legosi: Sorry Melon, no dumping in the lake.
Melon: Fine. I will go and put my “yard trimmings" in a car compactor.
Louis: You know, Legosi, I thought he had a dead body in there.
Legosi: I thought that too, right up until he said "yard trimmings". You gotta learn to listen, Louis.
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jhinenjaycencia · a month ago
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Ventus, narrating: "Tell me what thy lordly name is on the Night's Plutonian shore! Quoth the Raven..."
Vanitas: Show me anguish!
Ventus, a bit angry: No, Vanitas! The Raven said "Nevermore". And it would never say any other thing.
Vanitas: fine, fine, but my version was better...
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weirdkev27 · 11 months ago
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Della: You... you speak English? Penumbra: I am actually speaking Tranquilian. By an astonishing coincidence, both of our languages are exactly the same.
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incorrectggtvavquotes · a year ago
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Henry Montague Snr: You will never get a husband with this violence.
Felicity: Alright. No husband.
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269-million · a month ago
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Grishnakh: Ugluk! Ugluk!
Ugluk: What?
Grishnakh: ... Ugluk!
Ugluk: What? What is it?
Grishnakh: ... Strawheads’ out there! Hahahaha, made you look!
Ugluk: [Looks away and growls] They’re just words, Ugluk. Words can’t hurt ya -  [Grishnakh pelts him from behind] OW! That’s it!
Snaga: [Grimacing] That was really dangerous...
Grishnakh: [With oblivious confidence] I know! And I got him right in the - uh-oh!
[Ugluk aggressively pushes his way through the crowd to Grishnakh]
Grishnakh: [Cowering] Uh, heheheheh... Hi, Ugluk! Go Isengard?
Ugluk: You have a problem with the way I’m leading?
Grishnakh: [Realizing he’s in over his head] No! No! No, no, no! It’s just that, well, like I was yelling earlier, it seems like anyone with half a brain could lead better than you!
Ugluk: Uh-huh? Half a brain, huh? Well you know what? It sounds like you just volunteered!
Grishnakh: [Alarmed at having to lead both the troops from Mordor and Isengard now, along with managing the Moria maggots] Me? But you were doing such a great job!
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nyulakszigete · 8 months ago
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Unoriginal incorrect IZ quotes fourteen:
ZiM to the other Irkens: "Well excuse me for having enourmous flaws that I don't work on!"
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got7totallysaidthis · a year ago
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Mark:*exists*
Jackson,holding a bat:The strong must protect the sweet.
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mischiefhasbeenmanaged · a month ago
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Ted: [marrying Andromeda] You’re the best thing my name has ever gotten attached to
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superdogbiter · a month ago
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Mobius:”Loki,no!”
Loki,confused:”What?”
Mobius:”Sorry,force of habit,Ravonna,no!”
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harveyb-wabbit92 · 2 years ago
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[Wolffe, Boost, Sinker, Comet, and Sling sitting at a bench at lunchtime]
Commander Wolffe: You see, the thing about huckleberries is: once you've had fresh, you'll never go back to canned.
[Plo Koon walks up to the bench,looks at him bemused]
Commander Wolffe: Uh, uh, so anyway, I kicked the Clanker’s head clean off!
[Plo Koon nods and walks off]
Wolffe: (quietly) Now, if the berries are too tart, I just dust them with confectioner sugar.
[The rest of the wolf pack murmur in interest]
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Legosi: *While looking for a egg sandwich finds 20 dollars*
Legosi: Awww, twenty dollars? I wanted a egg sandwich!
Legosi's Brain: Twenty dollars can buy many egg sandwiches
Legosi: Explain how!
Legosi's Brain: Money can be exchanged for goods and services.
Legosi: Woo-hoo!
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jhinenjaycencia · 12 days ago
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Braig: see? Even when you yell at me, I can see love in your eyes.
Terra: stick to the subject!😠
Braig: ha ha! You love me!
Terra: hrrrmmm...😳
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weirdkev27 · a year ago
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Marcy: You know, Anne, I've had my share of troubles. But sitting here with you and the Plantars in our cozy fwagon in this beautiful, free country, makes me feel like I'm a lucky girl.
Anne: MARBLES! YOUR COAT IS ON FIRE!
Marcy: Wh-What? (screams) Get it off! Get it off! Get this off of me! (she sighs and slowly goes on the floor)
Sprig: Marcy, it's on fire again!
Marcy: What? No! it's stuck on my hand! AHHHH
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incorrectggtvavquotes · a year ago
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Monty: How did my clothes even catch fire? I bought them because the tag said "inflammable"!
Felicity: Inflammable means flammable...
Monty: What?! That doesn't even make sense!
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incorrect-mclul-quotes · 2 years ago
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Castiel: Priya...My old arch-enemy.
Nathaniel: I thought I was your arch-enemy?
Castiel: I have a life outside of you Nathaniel.
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