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octuscle · 9 months

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My girlfriend and me have fights all the time, I can’t understand women’s mind, can you help me with this situation?

A young man was walking along one of Southern California's sandy beaches with his surf board. He suddenly spots this bottle which has recently washed up on the beach. It's obvious it's been tossed around for a long time. He picks up the bottle and notices that it still has the cork intact. So, being curious as to what may be inside, he manages to get the cork out and out pops a Genie.

After expressing profound appreciation for having been let out of the bottle, the Genie grants his benefactor the classic, "one wish" and it will be yours. Being an avid surfer, it doesn't take him long to say, "I've always wanted to surf Hawaii, but I get seasick on ships and I'm afraid to fly. Would you build me a bridge to Hawaii?"

The Genie replies: "Do you know what you are asking for? Do you know how long the bridge would have to be? Think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking. The supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific! The concrete and steel it would take! It will nearly exhaust several natural resources. And the maintenance of that bridge! No, think of another wish."

The man said OK and tried to think of a really good wish. Finally, he said, "I've been married and divorced four times. My wives always said that I don't care and that I'm insensitive. So, I wish that I could understand women ... know how they feel inside and what they're thinking when they give me the silent treatment ... know why they're crying, know what they really want when they say nothing ... know how to make them truly happy ... I really want to understand women and how they think!"

After a long sigh, the Genie responds: "Would you like that bridge with two lanes or four?"

Well, the joke is ancient. But appropriate. But seriously, there is a possibility to make you a bitch. But ask @wishmaster about that. I love his gender transformations! But until then, I can make you a little bit gayer and your girlfriend a little bit more manly.

You still don't have much to say in the relationship. But you are a great couple and you understand each other without words. Enjoy it!

#male tf #muscle tf #reality change #chronivac #male transformation #leather tf #gender tf

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drivergemini · 2 years

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california sun :: b.h.

summary: max always told stories about a brother she left in california. who knew that leaving hawkins after high school would bring y/n straight to the legend himself.

warnings: story is not canon compliant, non supernatural au, few swears, max loves billy and billy isn’t an arrogant asshole, y/n is just a little airheaded but only if you read into it

word count: 1694

she remembered the sad look in the redhead’s eyes when she first met her. maxine mayfield was her name. she remembers opening the door and seeing the two gingers standing in front of her. maxine was the first and only girl y/n ever baby sat. she was only 13 at the time, but the older redheaded woman seemed desperate to be alone without her 7 year old daughter.

she remembered sitting across the dining room table from maxine. she made her a plate of chicken nuggets and mac & cheese. she watched as she pushed around the food on her plate, scraping the metal fork against the ceramic.

“so maxine...” y/n broke the silence.

“max. my name is max.” the girl’s piercing blue eyes looked right as y/n. she stopped moving her forced.

“where are you from i’ve never seen you before.”

max sets down the fork. “california, southern california.”

y/n perked up. even at a young age she knew that no one in their right mind would move to hawkins, especially not from a place like that. “it’s always been, my dream to live in california!”

“mine too...” may looked back down at the plate of food. “i wish we never moved here.”

she heard a small sniffle come from max. “hey hawkins isn’t too bad. there’s so many great stuff here.”

“but there’s no billy.” max whispered to herself.

“there’s no who?”

“billy. i miss him so so much.” she started to grip the table. “he was the coolest and he listened to the coolest music and had the coolest hair. he let me shave it off for him. and he knew how to surf and he told me that his mom taught him to surf and he taught me how to surf. and he was my favorite person in the whole world.” max’s words faltered near the end.

“so billy is your..?”

“he’s my brother. well not really said my mom but i think he’s still my brother.” max went on about how her mom and billy’s dad were married and then they weren’t married.

soon enough they found themselves sitting in the living room, max still going on and on about her cool older brother.

“you know i would do anything to take you with me max.” y/n pinched her cheek.

“ew you’re like a grandma.” max laughed and opened her arms up for a hug. “i wish i could come to college with you.”

“in a few years you could try and come to cali for college too and maybe we could even live together.” y/n sang the last part. never in her life did she expect her best friend to be 4 years younger than her but here they were.

“hey y/n... if you see happen to see billy can you tell him i miss him?”

she squeezed her friend tighter “of course max.”

whatever she expected from college, she did not get. y/n found herself in a small dorm with a roomate who wasn’t too fond of small town girls. she spent so much time at the library or working at the campus smoothie bar just to get away from her.

y/n scanned the shelves of the non fiction section to find a book on da vinci’s ideas on anatomy. she didn’t realize studying art history would require a lot of, well studying.

she stood on her tip toes when she found it. before she could reach it, she saw a toned arm out of the corner of her eye. the arm grabbed the exact book she was looking for.

she turned her head to see a tall, muscular man handing her the book. she looked at his blond tied back mullet and opened her mouth to speak.

“is this the book you were trying to get?” he voice was husky, but it wasn’t low.

she continued to just stare at the man before her. wow y/n creepy move on your behalf.

“um- uh- yeah. i um- thanks.” she took the book out of his hand.

“you’re welcome i always try and help when pretty girls are in need.” he smirked. jesus were people in this state so bold to just share their feelings.

y/n’s face turned red. “i- thank you. you are also very pretty.” shit. really y/n? pretty? that’s the best you can come up with?

the blond chuckled slightly. “i do consider myself a pretty fella.” he held out his hand for her to shake. “i’m william.”

“y/n.” she shook his hand feeling the hard callouses against his palms.

“so this might be a long shot, but do you want to go down to the beach with me?” y/n thought to herself that going to the beach with a man she just met was dangerous. but then again, this stranger was beautiful.

“yeah sure.” this was a weird scenario that she would never be in. but something in her mind was telling her that she should go with william.

they ended up on the sands of the santa monica pier. she watched as the blond stripped off his shirt and placed his butt on the sand right next to her. the sun glared against his tanned and toned body. y/n wanted to run her fingers over his shoulders.

william took the sunglasses that sat on his face and placed them on his head. “so did you grow up in california?”

“no absolutely not. indiana. a small town called hawkins.” she made a hand gesture at the name of her town, like she was presenting something magnificant. “did you grow up here?”

“yup. true california boy. surfing and smoking is basically my only personality.”

y/n nudged into his body and laughed. “i wish i knew how to surf. my best friend back in hawkins always talked about how she loved to surf when she was younger. do you think you’d be able to teach me?”

“woahhhh, first date is going so well that you already are asking for a second?” he let out a fake shocked look.

“well that depends, are you gonna teach me for free or are you going to make me pay you?” y/n raised her eyebrows.

“i know one way you could pay me right now.” william placed his hand on her cheek and leaned towards her face. they met in the middle and he placed a soft kiss on her lips.

y/n felt her face get slightly hot. “jesus i have never even seen you surf how do i know your a good teacher?”

“i have been surfing since i could remember. and i have taught surfing before if you’d like to know. and she was the one of the most bad ass bitch i have ever met to this day.”

“oooooo she?” y/n teased poking his arm.

“uh uh calm down. she is my little sister, or at least was my sister. she was a classic california boy, surfing and skating. except you know, in like a tiny little human.” he looked towards the ocean. “she was the best. but she moved to god knows where.”

“i’m sorry that sounds like it sucks. when’s the last time you talked to her?” she leaned her head on his shoulder.

“i’m honestly not even sure. maybe when i was in high school?” he let out a heavy sigh. “her name was maxine.” he let out the last sentence like she was dead.

y/n shot up. “billy?! billy hargrove?!” she looked at the blond before her with a face of confusion.

“excuse me? do you know who i am?” the blond’s face was slightly painted with fear.

“know you? know you?! how am i so dumb! how didn’t i connect it?” she stood up and pointed at him. “you’re max’s brother! the one she told me about?”

at the sound of his sisters name he also stood up. “you know max?” he felt like he was going to throw up, but in a good exciting way. “i swear you better not be fucking with me.”

“max is my best friend! i basically raised max mayfield. she moved to hawkins with her mom after california”

william’s face sported a more excited look. “oh my god i can’t believe you know max!” he got so excited that he hugged y/n, lifting her into the air and spinning her around. “can you tell me about her? and what she’s been up to?”

“of course i can.” y/n smiled at the boy and leaned in for another kiss. ‘

billy and y/n giggled as the phone rang, shushing each other when the the other end answered. they both wore thick sweaters to deal with the cold indiana air.

“mayfield residence. max speaking.” she could hear a bored max on the other end.

“max it’s y/n!”

“y/n?! jesus i was wondering when you were gonna call again. i was beginning to think you forgot about me.”

“forget about you? i’m back in hawkins for winter break! can i come see you?”

“you’re back? and you didn’t tell me? get over hear right now before i kick your ass.” y/n could hear max laugh and then the receiver click.

both adults ran outside to the blue camaro they drove from california and headed over to the mayfield house.

billy was playing rock loudly through the speakers, looking over at y/n ever so often. he would smile at her in between the lyrics.

when he pulled into the driveway of the house, he felt his palms get slightly sweaty.

“you’ll be okay.” y/n squeezed his hand which was instantly relieving.

y/n entered the house first, billy could hear the squeals and jumping of the two girls. he couldn’t help but chuckle to himself.

“a boyfriend? and he’s here?” billy heard faintly. he felt this was his cue to walk through the door.

max’s mouth hung open, eyes wide as saucers.

“max this is my boyfriend...”

“billy?????” max blurted out. billy smiled wide and opened his arms for a hug. max ran into his arms and squeezed him so hard billy didn’t know if she’d let go.

it wasn’t sunny california, but maybe hawkins wasn’t so bad.

#billy hargrove #billy hargrove fluff #billy hargrove fic #billy hargrove x reader #stranger things #stranger things 4 #stranger things series #billy hargrove angst #fluff #angst #billy hargove imagine

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