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#southern moms

So i follow this mom on IG who talks about money saving tips and grocery shopping tips. You know, typical white mom stuff. What’s been interesting though is that her family fosters children and recently they got a newborn who we can’t see the face because privacy reasons but you can obviously tell he’s black. Her family is Christian, conservative and southern and for the past few months I’ve been watching them fall in love with this baby. If it weren’t for the baby I don’t think she would have done what she did.

Today, she started a story series called “Dear White People” and went on to ask when was the last time you invited a black person into your home? It was such a simple question but a powerful one for her followers (majority white) because it actually gets you to think about your daily life and how you act. To not just listen but evaluate small ways you can change your behavior now and open your heart.

I flinched because I already knew she was going to get backlash and I didn’t want her to get scared by her followers as she relies on them for income. I gave her my support and reminded her that us white individuals are only uncomfortable with that statement because we don’t like to be reminded that we need to listen. She apologized to her followers of course, backlash in within a few minutes of posting telling her the negative connotation of her title, but I hope she sticks with it. She’s in for a bumpy ride.

I don’t think I’ve smiled this hard in weeks with everything happening. Celebrities are cool and all and they can use their platform for good but it’s in the everyday people that we see the true impact of change. There’s just something about seeing a late 30s southern mom say she wants to step out of her white bubble and acknowledges her privilege. Who always stays quiet on controversial issues but stepped out of her comfort zone for this because she’s got a black baby in her house and I’m sure she’s wondering, “What does his future look like?”

People change people.

So dear white people, when was the last time you had a POC in your house?

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MOMS!!!

Hey tumblr moms, so I’m reaching out. My son is now just shy of 13months and he pretty much only says “momma, daddy, kitty, and yeah” he occasionally says “no” he babbles COSTANTLY, but should I be concerned he doesnt say more words yet or is this all normal? Also he used to say “good” when he was asked how his day was, and now he doesnt. Hubby is super concerned about the good thing, bc he has fallen off our futon a couple times. Hes never acted super hurt, only cried for a few seconds after it happened, eyes always followed me, basically no flags of needing medical attention. I’m not TOO worried, just mostly curious. So… help?

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I’m at a children’s clothing sale and this mom next to me just said, “My biggest fear in life is that my kids will grow up and not have kids. Kill me. Ugh!”

Really? You don’t worry about their happiness? What about their goals and ambitions? Stupid closed minded people. Your dreams and goals may not be their dreams and goals. There is no need for them to pump out children that they have to care for for the rest of their lives just to make you happy.

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It was a super hectic morning. Scarlet woke up at quarter to 5:00 this morning WAILING. No fever, wasn’t hungry, holding her didn’t work. Nothin’. In a moment of desperation, I gave her some Mylicon drops, Tylenol, and laid her in bed between me and the hubs. She dozed off eventually at about 6:50. I woke her up at about 7:30 to get her ready to go, so that we could go to work and Mason to school. She was a little whiney, but otherwise fine. No fever, no signs that anything was really amiss.

Fast forward, to 9:30. I’m knuckle deep in prep for my sales guys to go out of town tomorrow for a trade show. Hubs is knuckle deep in whatever it is he does on the job site. I get the phone call. “Scarlet is inconsolable and has a 102 fever”…..fuck. So, I call hubs, and try to figure out a game plan. It’s easier for him to leave than me, so it’s decided that he will. I call and make her a doctor’s appointment. The earliest she could be seen is in like, 2 and a half hours. My poor baby.

This is what makes me feel guilty about being a working mom. I can swallow down the guilt and regret that I feel on a daily basis because I work to provide for them. But moments when I feel like I’m FAILING because I’m not there, hit hard. I’m sitting at my desk right now, trying not to cry or throw up. Would she still be a screaming mess if I was there? Yeah, probably. Would it change that she can’t be seen by the doctor for a couple hours? No. But I can’t shake this feeling. The thought in the back of my head that says “You’re her mother. You should be there. What the fuck is wrong with you?!” I’ve been both a stay at home mom, and working. When Mason would get sick when I stayed home, and nothing worked, the thoughts that entered my head weren’t much different. They went to the tune of “You’re his mother. He needs you, and you can’t seem to figure out how to make it better. Are you stupid? What the fuck is wrong with you?!” So, there is no real trade off here, but if I weren’t sitting in this office, at least I would know I was doing something. Instead, I’m sitting here with a churning stomach and a heart full of worry. 

So, I’m going to down some more coffee, power through all the necessities, and possibly leave when the baby girl goes, because I just don’t know how long I can handle this feeling.

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Peach salsa, peach butter, apple butter, 4 cans of pickled green beans (dilly beans!), leftovers from dinner, 2 pints of vegan macadamia nuts coconut ice cream she made by herself, multiple gourds, bread, grapes, (she tried to give me bacon “to cook for [my] friends”), popcorn corn cobs, Tupperware, silverware, knives, kitchen utensils, plastic organizer drawer, beanie hat, candles she doesn’t like, 2 types of glass sets they weren’t using, pictures and picture frames for my classroom.

Thanx mom.

Dilly beans are the best birthday present I could ever ask for.
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Disclaimer: I’m totally 100% against spanking children of any age! But for parents who do spank their children at what age did you decide to start? Parents around the area are 100% pro spanking & most start around 2yrs old, I think that’s ridiculous! All the moms I’m friends with on Facebook are in the potty training stage (we aren’t yet) & they spank their children for having accidents!? How is that going to teach them to use the fuckin potty!! Ughhh!

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I just used this phrase while referring to a dude I don’t talk to anymore, so I said “I just passed him up like Christ passed Cicero”.  This is a phrase my mom and mom’s side use all the time, but everyone just stared at me like a crazy after I said it…

My mom is country…  I picked up her phrases and mannerism.  Help.  PLEASE tell me I’m not alone in this! X’’D

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So, these two are brothers on the opposite sides of the political aisle, and their mother calls in to tell them to be nice and not drag this shit into her house at Christmas.

This woman is my queen. I love Southern Moms. No one calls you out sweeter and faster.

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Told my mom I was getting a tattoo soon. She was pretty pissed at me… She told me they were trashy looking and that I would regret it… Oh well still getting it done.

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 —a pearl of e-wisdom from my mother today, on bridesmaids dresses. What’s better: the barely perceptible shudder at the thought of a McCall’s Easy Sew pattern, or the laying bare of actual flaws in Grace Kelly’s trousseau?
Look online for a photo of Grace Kelly on the day she had her first meeting with Prince Rainier. She was wearing a dress with multi-colored cabbage roses on it (made from a McCall’s pattern, by the way). She looks really bad. Prints are never a good idea.
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