#specialisation i wanted

[dumbledorathexplora]

I want to go to IKEA so bad rn

#they’re building one where I live this summer!!!! #gonna quit my job and work there!!!!! I want to specialise in their meatballs #scott pilgrim vs the world #scott pilgrim #scott pilgram takes off #Wallace wells #young Neil #Scollace #toddace #toddallace #todd ingram #anime #scott pilgrim fanart #Scott pilgrim takes off fanart #wallace wells fanart #matthew patel #cartoon #scollace fanart #scott pilgrim comic #lgbtqia #Netflix

[chronicowboy]

It's a couple of months after his breakdown when Eddie comes home from therapy to a suspiciously quiet house. Luckily, he and Frank had spent the session working on his anxiety, so he takes a deep breath and begins listing all the things Buck and Christopher could be doing as he goes in search for them.

They could be asleep on the couch, it wouldn't be the first time the early birds had crashed midday from fun, but Eddie finds the couch empty as soon as the thought forms. They could be doing homework at the table, drawing more hearts or puzzling over algebra equations, but the table is empty of its usual clutter. They could be eating in the kitchen, unlikely as neither of them have ever let mouths full of food stop them from chattering away, and he's proven right at a barren kitchen.

The panic rises and crests in his chest like a wave, but he takes another deep breath, reminds himself that the safest place in the world for Christopher is Buck's side.

They could be in the yard tending to their little vegetable garden, but Eddie peeks out to lonely tomato plants swaying in the gentle summer breeze. They could be rearranging Christopher's room again, possibly side-tracked by Christopher's old drawings or Lego creations, but the room is exactly as he'd left it this morning.

Its when Eddie presses his forehead into the doorframe to ground himself that he hears it. A sniffle coming from beyond the cracked bathroom door.

"Okay, buddy," that's Buck's voice, soft and unendingly gentle in a way that makes something behind Eddie's sternum pulse and ache. Eddie drifts towards it, helpless to resist the pull.

"Are you sure we shouldn't wait for dad?" Chris asks, voice a little shaky however it is when he's just finished crying. The wave of panic crests again, but Eddie nudges the door open and the wave collapses into foam.

Christopher is perched on the closed toilet, both legs of his jeans rolled up to above his scraped knees, eyes wide and trusting despite his words. And Buck. Buck is crouched in front of him with the first aid kit open at his feet and an expression so tender it takes Eddie's breath away.

"We can, if you want," Buck concedes, trying and failing to conceal just the slightest bit of hurt. Eddie sees it as he sees the guilt lining the tense line of Buck's shoulders, as he sees the anguish swimming in Buck's own teary eyes. "But I specialise in scratches." He grins, wide and way too bright for the fluorescent lights of the bathroom to compete. He lowers his voice, winks, "its all Hen and Chim trust me with on the job."

Christopher's hiccupping giggle is the best sound Eddie has ever heard. And, judging by the way Buck looks up at Chris like the sound fell from heaven, he agrees. Eddie couldn't tear his eyes away if he wanted to. Not with the way Buck looks kneeling in front of his son, like this is some sort of worship and penance all at once, eyes softer than Eddie has ever seen them.

"Okay, superman," Buck cups the back of Christopher's shin with hands so big his fingers could meet around his leg, with hands so gentle Eddie has the fleeting desire to feel them on himself. "Doesn't look like there's anything in there, but I'm gonna pour a bit of water over them first to wash anything away. Does that sound okay?"

"Yeah," Chris nods solemnly, and Buck smiles up at him as he reaches for the cup on the sink.

Carefully, Buck pours a cup of water over both scrapes, stopping every time Chris so much as twitches, and Eddie aches. He dries them off with a clean towel, gentler still than Eddie knew a human of Buck's size could be, then reaches for the alcohol-free wipes.

"Okay, I'm gonna make sure they're super clean," Buck murmurs, side-profile illuminated by the afternoon light cutting through the bathroom window, angelic and divine. Eddie has the insane urge to pull his phone out and capture the moment forever. "It might be a little sore, so just tell me if you need to stop." Chris nods again, and Buck uses his free hand to grab Christopher's and drop it onto his curls. "Squeeze as tight as you like, and, if I'm too rough, give me a tug in revenge."

Eddie can't decide which is more beautiful: Christopher's laugh or the smile it provokes in Buck. Both of them are bright and joyful things that make Eddie want to fall to his knees in his own kind of worship. He watches as Buck starts wiping away at the scratches, slow and soft and oh so tender it hurts Eddie himself. Chris waits patiently, bravely until Buck drops one wipe and then tugs on his hair.

"Ow!" Buck yelps, pouting up at Christopher who shakes with silent laughter. "What was that for?" When the only answer is a bubbling laugh, Buck's face twitches into a grin like he just can't help it. Eddie understands, doesn't think there's anything more contagious than Buck and Christopher's joy. "Knee number two, no tugging please, sir." And Eddie thinks that some people might forget to be so gentle after that, but Buck only gets more so.

He drops the wipes into the trash before grabbing a gauze pad and pressing it to Christopher's knee. He waits for a beat or two, undoubtedly watching for blood that might soak through even though the wipes came away mostly clean. Buck tapes the edges down and then moves onto the second knee.

And, look, Eddie knows Buck is a first responder, has seen and treated worse than this on a daily basis, but the ease with which he treats Christopher makes Eddie's stomach clench. Especially, when Buck absently rubs his thumbs over the skin of Christopher's legs like its as natural as breathing.

"Almost done," Buck whispers before leaning down to leave a big, smacking kiss on each bandage. Eddie aches. "There we go, now they'll heal faster and you can go back to being superman in no time."

"Thanks, Buck." Chris leans forward for a hug, and Buck catches him effortlessly.

Eddie watches the guilt creep into Buck's expression as he squeezes his eyes shut and turns his face into Christopher's hair. When Buck takes a deep breath, Eddie copies him and tries not to get too flustered when Buck's worried eyes flutter open and land on him. A few months ago, Eddie would've shuttered, would have wiped his face clean of the dizzyingly intense array of emotions on display. But now, Eddie lets Buck see, lets him see that he's not in trouble, that Eddie is so grateful for him it hurts, lets him see the admiration and the softness, lets him see the overwhelming love Eddie feels for him right then and there, always and anywhere.

Buck lets Eddie see it all too.

#sami rambles #i specialise in scratches is rapidly becoming just another line that makes me want to tear all my flesh off my body #and i couldn't get this image out of my head so here #(also i know that dudefailure is using his dad lines to flirt because he is a hopeless pathetic little guy) #911 spoilers #911 spec #911 fic #911 fox #911 show #911 fanfic #buddie #buck x eddie #buck and christopher #buckley diaz family #evan buckley #eddie diaz #christopher diaz #buddie fic #buddie fanfic #buck x eddie fic #buckley diaz family fic

[upon-lavender-hills]

For the greater cause I am giving in to my corrupting impulses of drawing men in love, that cause being Grunge severely lacking in content. I would add "still", but really, nothing is changing, it's just me boiling alive in my own broth. Well, maybe something is changing, but I can't see it for now. For now, I will be the change I want to see in the world and spew whatever this is into the social media space. Sounds like a plan to me. I would've elaborated on what's going on here, but that's kinda embarrassing and I don't want to. Just take it, please. Or don't. That's also good.

#naoki urasawa's monster #monster naoki urasawa #wolfgang grimmer #heinrich lunge #inspector lunge #heinrich runge #grimmer x lunge #fanart #I know I shouldn't post this in the general tag but there's no specialised tag #I mean for the shipping content #my apologies to whoever didn't want to see this #I am trying to make a point #still #yeah let's just pretend I'm suffering for something big here

[perelka-l]

ever ever ever ever ever. Bc I can't write lol.

Overseer Talloran and Omega-1 Draven :)

Alas, it shines very badly after hairspray treatment so it was really hard to take a photo. The pain! The pain!!!

#researcher james talloran #researcher talloran #draven kondraki #Scp #Talloraven #Kinda #Why isn't draven alpha one well one I wanted pain and two idk doesn't fit draven #Also I have a very vidivid image in my brain of draven being like #Hey I got into the mtf that specialises in neutralising foundation personnel and clef be like #You know what I can see why #I have elaborate hc in my brain don't look at me #Fun fact I only did this bc I wanted to move into new palette so had to use what I already had #So. It was a bit painful but also fun I love gouaches you have no idea #watch me and my fail art #overseer talloran #I can't guns pls have mercy I just went bling bling ok #There is so many mistakes but i like everything else #Scp foundation

[hatkuu]

why is that kylar blog so true to his characters like . that naruto screenshot was foul

yes. endo is soosososososooso talented because kylar WOULD be a snide little shit to everyone else OTHER than his darling 😭😭 i LOVELOVELOVE the naruto screenshots and the sao gif .... my god. made me scream when i saw them because KYLAR WOULD 100000% DO THAT!!

#hatkuuasks #also flabberghasts me that endo is SOOOO talented. juggling TWO blogs at the same time that specialise in different areas???? talent. #kylar is characterised so well and i rlly badly want to be like “i think ur darling is sososo cute #too!! their name is ____ right???“ just so he can freak out :) #like. hdnfnfhjdjsjdjdjdjj #yes i love my tumblr mutuals can u tell ....

[dkettchen]

me waking up in a cold sweat at 6:20am: "I should get evening classes to be a hair dresser & training to be a makeup artist to be my own hair/make-up person on photo/video shoots and defy industry's single-gender-dominated-and-not-improving department segregation system like the all-rounder online creator that I am 👀😤"

#I swear I don't have adhd or anything I am just having a professional existential crisis recently x'D #ok but hear me out right like how useful would it be if people could hire someone who's a one-person videographer AND hair/make-up person! #I could like double my asking rate! #you need to do one before you can do the other anyway so why have two people for it #other than that the hair/make-up women don't specialise in photography #and the videographer lads have never touched a cosmetic product let alone knowing how to use it to any level let alone a professional one #AND I'd be able to offer hiring me as either role OR both at once #I'd have more options for jobs to apply to #and I'd have full control over the look I want from my subjects #cause like I do my own hair & make-up for my videos #like I know how to cut my own hair & do my own make-up #but I wanna learn how to do ANYONE'S!!! #and I know you can do hair dressing college evening classes cause I remember that was one of the other evening classes running while I was #doing my electrician's level 2 #and I know there's make-up training places in the city I've seen them before while I was looking up other things #if you do professional hair/make-up you need to take pictures of it for your portfolio anyway #and if you professionally take pictures of people you need to do their hair/make-up anyway to get the look you want #SO WHY NOT BOTH for any reason other than gender roles prohibiting the cishets from learning both skills to the required level!!! #THIS IS MY LEG UP #THIS IS MY QUEER NONBINARY TRANS ADVANTAGE #*evil manic laughter* #edit: and smth smth the thing where women & afab ppl don't do their skills to a professional level #unlike cishet men making everything their job and therefore succeeding professionally even in trad-female dominated skills/industries #hence I should LEARN my matr skills to the level required for professional stuff rather than limit myself to patr skills #that I have a disadvantage with due to cishet male-dominated nature of this industry/tech department #AND it'll give me an opportunity to message my detrans previous hairdresser (as I live too far away from her now) #being like 'u were one of my inspirations for this I also wanna learn how to cut mullets real good hope ur doing well T^T' x'D #AND I could apply to screenskills' trainee finder in another department in a few years regardless of whether or not I get in this year #(I applied to the camera one this year)

[poetrylesbian]

it's so stupid that psychiatrists want people in your life to give them information about you as a kid to support adult adhd diagnoses. like these fuckers clearly never noticed anything was wrong, do you think they're gonna remember all that shit now? im 26! they didn't realise I was depressed when I wasn't able to get out of bed! they didn't realise I was agoraphobic when I was scared to leave the house and probably only had a few weeks of grade 12 where I was able to go to school every day! and you're expecting them to have realised I have concentration issues?

#like i get it but its frustrating #and i have been informed that for the last two years ive only had a provisional adhd diagnosis and not a formal one? #so im gonna have to pay like. hundreds and hundreds of dollars to see a specialised psychiatrist and formally diagnosed #all i wanted was to see a psychiatrist closer to home! to get better drugs! #like how does this even work ive been on adhd meds for two years but wasn't diagnosed to the proper standards? #im going crazy guys

[vigilskeep]

but when i see the dao spell list i do still get childishly giddy

#is for me??? #fuck what did i plan to specialise tristan in #whatever i just want to play through the origin its not that deep #(it is. spells <3)

[skruttet]

japan needs to stop producing all these cool moomin plushies I have so many already 😫

#merch #but ough I want the moomin and the martians-inspired headphones plushieee #have the moomins and snorks ever worn earphones or earmuffs on their actual ears? they're always on the side of their faces 😂 #are there no makers of such things that specialise in those kinds of species of customers smh

[but-the-library-of-alexandria]

in 2024 I wanna stop hearing about betterhelp

#elise's posts #SO many youtubers etc I like are promoting this shit #fyi for those who don't know it's a REALLY unethical business trying to take advantage of the mentally ill #and before you say 'but how else am I meant to find a therapist that does online sessions' #post-pandemic most therapists offer this #and if you want the whole 'I can text my therapist for therapy anytime 24/7' thing... #sorry I know it might sound useful but it's SUPER bad for both your own mental health and your therapist's #sorry but therapists are not meant to be there for you 24/7 #that's not their job and it's really unhelpful for YOU to become dependant on a 24/7 therapist #betterhelp do not vet their therapists thoroughly #and some people say they have been evangelised to on betterhelp by preachers who ask the algorithm to assign them queer and atheist clients #many reputable therapists state that it's a terrible business model promoting unhealthy practices to patients #it claims to be the cheapest option but it's more expensive than the most expensive therapist I've ever had (I'm in the UK) #and significantly more expensive than the cheapest who was still good and probably more qualified than some people on betterhelp #you pay extra for the middleman #(being allocated a therapist you didn't choose and vet yourself isn't great anyway imo surely you want agency in this huge decision?) #and I'm sorry but pride counselling is a branch of the same company #please just look for therapists that specialise in your needs through a regulatory model and get in touch with them directly #not all of them have waitlists and tbh if every therapist on betterhelp is available whenever what does that say about them

[girl-bateman]

Specialised rejection letter lets gooooo 😭🙌

#'we normally send out an automated rejection but i wanted to tell you personally how much i liked the story' #girl !!!!!!! how is it possible to be hyped up and humbled at the same time omg 😩 #but honestly i dont take offense at all thatthey didnt accept the submission #bc the magazine has a very specific vibe/aim #she did encourage me to send in something again so maybe ill give it another try ! #the lit magazine specialises in ethical / philosophical questions and the instructions are kinda strict lmao #so if i send in something for them again ill have to think of something clever 🥲 #well well.. we'll see when inspiration strikes ig! #writing #personal

[crispyjenkins]

welcome to cj/crispy's bi-yearly ptsd rant about fireworks, you are all safe and valid here and i am mentally giving out juice boxes and animal crackers

#last year wasnt too bad i barely remember nye tbh but OH BOY are the neighbors making up for it this year #they arent like super big or anything but they are LOUD and we're just rural enough that nobody gives a shit #like i cannot tell you how much i love the idea of fireworks and their history #but id also like to not have 12 consecutive minor panic attacks because the neighbors have some money to burn #it's worse around the 4th of july ’cause that also has the caveat of ''what tf are you even celebrating fuck you'' #and im much more chill when it's like families celebrating with their kids because i remember how much fun mine had #but there are no kids around us #they're all adults and i want so badly to just be like ''yeah you do you man im glad youre having a good time'' but also like #they have to sell specialised jackets and blankets and medication for pets for nye and 4th of july #we dont have too many veterans in our part of town but i will never forget that pic of the vet hiding in the subway with his hands over #his ears #i dunno man i know not every activity can be accommodating to absolutely everyone #but i also think avoiding loud triggering (for a bunch of different reasons) noises is like #doable #there are quiet fireworks #thankfully my cat couldn't give two shits about loud noises but /I/ give two shits about loud noises #shut up cj #to delete

[wayfayrr]

For curiosity's sake (and the ask post), what're some quotes that keep you going? Whether it be for studies, school-life balance, or even just something random that makes you smile <3

Snapcube realtime fandubs make my day, the quotes in all of them?? I'm not going to go for the obvious eggman one, but all of alfred's quotes are amazing to me with this

“it seems you two have come to a standstill in Tarzan’s forest; you have 5 seconds before the island fucking explodes you hot topic wannabe and you blue gumball son-of-a-bitch. you have done nothing but destroy my life i hope you both DIE”

being one of my favourites from the series, I mean it's somewhat relevant to what I study it's really not thank you for the ask <3

#I want to specialise in volcanology after I finish my bsci #so like??? kinda relevant ig?? #ask game <3 #I've been waiting for a reason to try out my fancy new html skills :3c #so thank you for that too <33

[red-blood-on-the-countertop]

What type of science do u do??

ty for the ask <3

i'm currently in my last year of ib, so i still haven't really specialised into anything, as i'm currently still taking biology, chemistry and physics (as well as maths, but idk if you'd count it as a science)

as for what i plan to do next year, i'll probably do a double degree of either maths and biomedical engineering or physics and chemistry. so, yeah, i don't really have one definite answer, i'm mostly all over the place xd

#ib is seriously going to be the death of me xd #the subjects are fun and i really enjoy doing all of them but the workload is insane #but yeah i still haven't really specialised #(and tbh my options are a bit all over the place because im not sure what i want to do) #but ig i'll figure it out #(or at least that's what i think when i panick for not knowing xd) #mine #rambling

[izzy-b-hands]

im ngl i had a lil breakdown before my shower (which i took just before i went to bed to chill and watch the new eps) abt some thought-id-already-worked-all-thru-it irl stuff that resurfaced on me like trauma tends to and i just

it made everything in the show so. I don't know how to say it right. but i feel seen and understood and emotionally overwhelmed in a safe yet weird way, just like i did with a lot of s1 and I am Feeling So Much akdnfkgb (i cannot stress enough that this is a Good Thing and I'm absolutely thrilled and happy with the new eps and like. Going to be fine mentally I just gotta wrangle this like i have the times before.)

#text post #god i need a therapist that specialises in PTSD when i can afford therapy again #in the meantime recognition of the self thru the admired other while im in this state weirdly helps #makes me feel like im gonna burst out of my skin and I'm blasting metal in my ear buds to deal with that for now #gonna sleep eventually #i think lmao #im fine honestly bc like. this is not my first breakdown by any means but just. the fucking timing could not have been better #that said i both need a hug and absolutely could not handle being touched rn so that's something #no one's gonna read this far so im gonna just let myself have one little extra messy vent in that #my stupid fucking dad triggered part of this last one and I'm so mad abt it #he doesn't give two fucks abt me now (but he'd pretend to if he saw me in person bc jason LOVES keeping up appearances) #and he would just do a little nod and smile and talk over me telling him all that's happened this last year #i moved across the fucking country with help from friends so i wouldn't wind up dead in ND #and that's the thing i keep surviving and I dont understand why when I'm so often stressed and struggling to want to live #that and more has been sitting weighing and i just. want to tell him all of this and for him to be proud of me #he'll never be proud of me the way i want bc even my mum hasn't pulled that off #where they're proud of me as I am with no caveats or hiding parts of myself #if u think this is bad pls know i deleted a maximum tags tag essay/trauma dump just before this on this post lmao #i am In The Soup rn but it's gonna be fine #gonna rewatch s2 eps and be slightly but safely triggered by bits of ed and izzys stuff and get stoned and try to. process feelings #find some ptsd therapy worksheets online like dr. blohm suggested i try #forgive me the long tags and scroll by it fast if u want/need friends ill try to contain my current mess to this post & few others

[running-in-the-dark]

my friend helped me write an e-mail to my thesis advisor 😭😭 it only took 2 hours (and most of that was just me being distracting because I was scared) 😭 whyyyy did I not think to ask her sooner 😭

but anyway it's done it's done it's done!

now. I just have to wait and see if he replies and if he still wants to be my advisor 😬

if he doesn't, it's not too bad - the next time to fill out the survey for which professor you want as your advisor is in a couple weeks. it would sort of suck because I don't know any (literally not even one) of the other professors. but it would work out somehow, I think.

and if it doesn't that's okay and I'll manage somehow.

#personal #posts about my thesis #I don't know the professors because the location that I started at has closed and all the lecturers there have left #except for this one guy #who also specialises in the topic I want to write about. #so it would really be great if he said yes. but I'd understand it if he didn't 😬 it has been 3 years 🙃