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zvdvdlvr · 1 year

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- 𝐟𝐥𝐮𝐟𝐟 𝐚𝐥𝐩𝐡𝐚𝐛𝐞𝐭

navi.

𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: 𝒄𝒂𝒓𝒔𝒘𝒆𝒍𝒍 𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒓𝒏𝒆 𝒙 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒆𝒓

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: 𝒇𝒍𝒖𝒇𝒇

{ ✦ }

A = Admiration (what do they absolutely adore about you?)

Firm believer that your humour, natural grace, and physical features drew him in first. Your patience - for him and in general - definately is adored by him.

B = Body (what is their favorite part of your body?)

LOVES your hands (i'm a hands person and it shows lol). Loves when you play with his hair, give him a smack every once in awhile for making a particularly snide comment, and especially when you hold his hand.

C = Cuddling (how do they like to cuddle?)

Loves to just lay on you. Not a fan of spooning unless bro is exhausted, but will big spoon you if you need the sleep. Probably a whiny guy in his sleep if he can't get to sleep at just the right temperature.

D = Dates (what does their ideal date with you look like?)

You + him + Rampion. Probably would take you up to look at the stars and talk about things on your mind. An on Earth date would probably be a little different. Dependinng on the day, Thone might take you to a (fancy) restaurant and legit spoil tf out of you because you deserve it. If it's a slower, lazier day, Thorne would pack some stuff up and y'all would go out on a little picnic date somewhere out in the open

E = Emotions (how do they express emotion around you?)

By joking around. If Thorne got particularly emotional during the day, he would sit down with you and try to talk things through.

F = Family (do they want one? If they do, when?)

Not particularly, but if you wanted one was another story. Would probably prefer adoption over anything, but if you wanted biological kids Thorne is down for that too :)

G = Gifts (how do they feel about gift giving? What are their habits when it comes to this?)

Not much of a gift giver unless there's an occasion, but if you or Thorne's away for awhile, he'll pick something up for you that he thinks you'll like.

H = Holding Hands (when/how do they like to hold hands?)

Whenever he sees people watching you or him. He knows that before Cinder became queen, he would often completely disregard almost anything, but now learns to protect what's his and has become very protective tbh

I = Injury (how would they act if you got hurt?)

A mix of anger and some other unnameable emotions. If you guys got together before Levana fell, please expect Thorne to be a hoverer. Even if he'll completely deny his feelings, he's a worrywort.

J = Jokes (do they like to joke around with or prank you? how?)

Not much of a prankster to you, but will 100% make jokes - specifically inside jokes. Inside jokes are super special to Thorne, and reminding you of a funny situation that has happened before always makes him happy

K = Kisses (how do they like to kiss you?)

Me personally in my humble author opinion, Thorne likes that lettle exhale of contentment and your little mewls.

L = Love (how do they show you they love you?)

hovering like a helicopter. Thorne keeps an eye on you, especially if you're recovering from an injury.

M = Memory (favorite memory together?)

When you first held hands

N = Nightmare (what is their worst fear?)

During Levana's reign: You being killed under her orders or him being forced to kill you

After Levana's reign: getting amnesia and forgetting everything about you

O = Oddity (what is one quirk they have?)

A total mother when worried. Other than that, Thorne used to wear multiple layers of underwear as a kid idk i dont make the rules

P = Pet Names (what do they like to call you?)

He calls you: babe, a variation of your name, something to do with an inside joke

You call him: Captain, Thorn, automobile (because of his name and an inside joke lmao)

Q = Quality Time (how do they like to spend time with you?)

Either: a.) in the ship cruisin' b.) in cinder's silly goofy lunar castle home c.) sleeping

R = Rhythm (what song reminds you of them?)

yellow by coldplay

how to save a life by the fray

heart-shaped box by nirvana

S = Secrets (how open are they with you?)

somewhat closed off until a good 5 or 6 months into your relationship

T = Time (how long did it take you to get together?)

As previosuly stated, thorne denies his feelings at every turn, so probably a year maybe? all depends on how much rizz you have /j

U = Upset (how do they act when you’re upset?)

Angry upset -> loud, snappy, direct,

Sad upset -> quiet, avoiding most eye contact, shuts down,

V = Vaunt (what are they proud of? Do they like to show you off?)

yes. you cant tell me that when this man is enoamoured and starstruck by his partner he wouldn't show them off and compliment them to every extent. he loves talking about you and could talk about you for hours

W = Warrior (how do they feel about you fighting? Would they fight for you, beside you, etc?)

Would fight for you, wouldn't want you fighting, but if you did it would be right at his side so he can protect you if need be

X = X-Ray (how well are they able to read you?)

eh. at the beginning of the realtionship, he couldn't read between the lines to save anyone's life. later on in the realtionship, however, could write, publish, and autograph a book on how he's memorized your social cues - just as you could do for him

Y = Yes (how would they propose to you?)

On... the ship. lmao. Would fumble a speech so would just try to spit it right out instead of layering a simple question with a lot of words

Z = Zen (what makes them feel calm?)

the rampion, you joking around with him, sandalwood, your voice

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writerofshit · 4 years

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I feel like we never talk about immortal!fahc anymore and that's a shame.

I have a great need for something where their respawn takes a few minutes, and in the interim whoever has died is just Somewhere Else. If they die with someone, they're in that place together.

This is really just an opportunity to have Gavin and Ryan come strolling back, bickering about whose fault it was that they died.

Also I can picture Gavin accidentally taking out himself and Jeremy with an explosive of some sort, and the first thing Jeremy says when they're in that InBetween is

'I FUCKING hate you!'

A few of them go down in a friendly fire mishap during a heist, and Ryan leads with 'now, mistakes were made, but we can do this'

'Well it would have been fine if someone would stop killing his friends.' Michael says with a very pointed look at Ryan.

'I said mistakes were made!'

#fahc headcanon #immortal!fahc #fake ah crew #my headcanons #these messages brought to you by: a year old gtav lp #specifically Cruisin the D #and ryan and gav bickering about who was at fault for the mishap on the runway #this doesnt even TOUCH the gav mugging possibilities

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eriks-magnificentcape · 3 years

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Top 10 Lupin III episodes? :D

Thank you for the ask! I’m so sorry I was late answering this (my life is getting tad busy :()

Disclaimer I only watched part 2 (1-78 with a couple of other episodes), 4, 5 and The Woman Called Fujiko Mine so the list of episodes will be from these.

1. Lupin in Paradise (Part 2)

This is my Jigoe bible episode and no one's gonna take it away from me

2. The second time around Part 1&2 (Part 2)

Same as above, Jigen and Goemon being married couple TM

3. Cruisin in drag (Part 2)

Ok I just loved the fact that Onabes loved Lupin (in drag) and he didn't care that Lupin is guy. His love for Lupin was unconditional and what's not to love more than unconditional love? haha And I also love the fact that Lupin relented and married the guy (and still is). "Fujiko, please. This is the most important moment in a girl's lifetime". Also, Jigen's "What do you mean it's not Fujiko!? IT'S ONABES!? ARE YOU INSANE!? HE'S A GUY, LUPIN, AND YOU ARE GUY! AND IF YOU WERE THAT KIND OF GUY, WELL YOU COULDA FRIGGIN TOLD SOMEBODY! THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS!!!" *angrily smacks down the phone GOLD (btw Goemon was also in the same room. I wonder what they were doing together....)

4. The Extravagance of Ishikawa Goemon the Thirteenth (Part 5)

Everything. From Goemon making friends with nerds and cosplayers, getting robbed by friendly B&B (haha), his interactions with Chloe, Bruno and Jean (so wholesome), Goemon just straight up pressing a button which shoots a missile towards Lupin. And then we have sleepy Goemon, angry Goemon, tricked again Goemon. Lots of Goemon.

5. The combat Magnum Scattered in the Wasteland (Part 2)

I guess there is no need to explain how awesome Jigen was in this episode too. The thing I can’t get over is how Goemon, who usually let people be, kept butting in between Jigen and Stoneman and constantly worrying about his friend. He was such a bae <3

6. Goemon’s close call (part2)

Lots to unpack here. First of all, Goemon singing young man!? Hello!? May I ask why that specific song choice?????? I swear production team just loves sprinkling all the innuendos don’t they (not that I’m complaining haha). And our trusted friend Jigen sensing something is wrong and being worried about Goemon’s disappearance. And he knew that Fundoshi was Goemon’s favourite (how did he know? I wonder....) (I also wonder why did they leave his Fundoshi? I mean if you are gonna make him dress, might as well let him wear his underwear as well right? they even let Goemon wrap his sarashi all around his abdomen. Did they want to embarass Goemon by removing his undies? Did they simply forget his undies? I wouldn’t....I’m confused)

That torture scene!!!!! omg pooor Goemon!!!! They went HAM! And Goemon was loyal to a fault, he didn’t spill anything about Lupin. I’m crying. My poor man didn’t deserve any of that. I’m almost mad for Lupin for being so carefree in that bathtub scene (of course he made it up by saving Goemon in the end). And he still managed to 1v1 Wolf after all that torture. That man is not human.

Overall It was a baeutiful episode though, depicting Goemon’s loyalty and Lupin’s appreciation for his friend. And Goemon could have died if Jigen didn’t notice his disappearnce. It was a great episode showing their friendship. Really beatiful. How could it not be my fav episode?

7. With a Gun in My Hand (Part 4)

Jigen is just op in this episode. It's nice to see that even without his gun, he's still a dangerous man. A guy who you should never fuck with

8. Just Then, An Old Buddy Said Something (Part 5)

I have a very conflicting feelings about Goemon being insecure and doubting their friendship (especially when you have episode like Goemon’s close call) in the previous episode but it was worth to see Goemon and Lupin having their moment in that transport van. It was very Lupin to understand that whatever he is going to say is not going to be trusted but he still wanted to comfort Goemon so he tried to make him laugh instead. It was very Lupin’s way to reassure their friendship.

Another thing I love about this episode is Jigen. Damn that man looks so hot when he goes crazy with his guns. Well done on Albert for providing all that firearms to him. I’m just happy to see Jigen looking so liberated when he’s firing all these shots. I don’t care he was massacring all of them, just give the man his guns. He’s just too hot. (It was a very close tie between the Mirage episode and this but this episode had tender moment between Lupin and Goemon so. Also I really hate the fact that the official keeps insinuating that Jigen has kids all over the world by bringing a mum and a daughter into the picture and Jigen showing extra kindness to them. I swear if they bring another mum and daughter with Jigen episode i’m gonna go mad). We also got some nice tribute to the Castle of Cagliostro ;)

9. Zenigata Getcha into my life (part 2)

This was one of the sweetest episode of Zenigata. Man he was so sweet about Laura and how he didn’t hesitate abut asking help from Lupin. And Lupin didn’t mind helping out the old pop. It was so sweet, which made it extra bittersweet about how the episode ended...

10. Final episode of the woman called Fujiko Mine

I didn’t particularly understand the ending or liked it but damn the fight between Jigen and Goemon was great. A shame Goemon had to be in Fujiko’s drag but they sure gave us an awesome fight to watch. Jigen doing his cool skill shot and Goemon reading all the bullet trajectory. Would be great to have another scence like that in the future episode.

#thanks for the ask!#asks #most of my fave episodes are heavily biased by Jigoe hehe #it's basically which episode had the most jigoe moment

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eimi-yosei · 3 years

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A really concerning convo I overheard in my Double-French Class one time

Boy: So I saw this girl at my bus stop earlier, and when I tell you she was skinny, she was almost too skinny-

Girl: Could you see her bones?

Boy: Well, no- but-

Girl: Well then she wasn't skinny.

Hey @everyone , you don't have to be able to see your bones for my guys/gals/my non-binary pals to like you. You're completely perfect the way you are. If anyone tries to tell you differently, they're wrong. Doesn't matter if they're your parent(s), significant other(s), best friends, a complete stranger- even yourself. If it's negative and isn't helpful, it's not 'advice' worth knowledging.

Plus, if someone only likes you because of how many atoms are in your boy at a specific time, and not who you are as a person, they're cruisin' for a bruisin', mi amigo. Their opinion is worth as much as the pile of dog crap you accidentally stepped on that one time.

Look, I get that it's not the best thing in the world to be extremely overweight, as it most likely will cause problems in the future if it's not causing problems already. But there's a difference between being a healthy weight and literally starving yourself. If you're trying to lose weight, be sensible on which category you're planning on falling into. Stay safe! >:'D

Also, since I know only a maximum of like- six people will see this, I hope that whoever does- thinks about it, I guess? I don't know- I can't control y'all- just- try to catch yourself when you say or think something negative about your weight, appearance, intelligence, self-worthiness, whatever. You are better than no one, and no one is better than you. You're awesome, and no one has the right to deny that.

Signing off for now, Eimi >:D

#tw anorexia #disordered eating tw #eating disoder thoughts #motivational?#bro idk #text post #writing #only tagged with writing so more people see this- sorry doods ;'0 #not not really >:)#this has been in my drafts for weeks #anyways #how y'all doin #B)#ight bye #eimi-yosei

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gizoogletranslateshomestuck · 3 years

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EPILOGUE THRIZZAY

Wanna be gangsta 14

Jake yizzy n kniznocks on tha window ta Jane’s office agizzle. Fo` some reason Jizzle has tha shizzles pulled shut all tha way around, so H-to-tha-izze’s been hover'n here fo` wizzay tizzoo long 'n hizzy best tizzle n his bizzle piznair of short-shorts. Snoop heffner mixed with a little bit of doggy flint. Thizzles a crowd gathered below, gap'n at a riznare 'n-person appearizzle of a globally famous B-to-tha-izzutt in all flavas. Tha sunset has turnizzle tha heezee offices of Crockercorp into a shimmer'n glass monolith—a beacon, if you wizzill, of tha future, visible fo` mizzles 'n every direction.

Jizzy probablizzle likes to think 'bout it that wizzay at least.

Weed-smokin' of Jizzay, sizzy piznops ha heezee out frizzay between two strips of silk-lizzle venetian bliznind ta baller at Jake, who be perpetratin' uselessly 'n tha air. Uze tha frizzle door, she miznouths at him. But he responds wit his specialtizzle: incomprizzle.

JIZZY: Im sorrizzle... Dogg House Records in the fuckin house. what?

Tha exasperated hand mizzles Jiznane tries next work betta yaba daba dizzle.

JIZZY: Oh! Tha front door, of courze!

Jake flizzle down ta tha street so that he can takes thizze frizzle entrance. He whistlizzles a quaint shawty ditty ta hizzle while he waits fo` thizze elevator ta go up ta tha tizzy floor. Thizzis tizzy he knocks on tha office dizzay, n Jane lizzle him 'n.

Insizzle thizzay offizzle it’s diznark n hazy. Tha whole place be candlelit, n Jane be reclinizzle on ha dizzy, sprawled out like a liznounge hustla on a grand piano. Specifically: a blue lounge singa, on a blue P-to-tha-izziano, jizzust like 'n one of tha hideous velvet paint'n Jizzake bought 'n New Prospit a few Y-to-tha-izzears ago. Recognize the realness. Like all of hizzay impulsizzle purchazes, tha tacky th'n be cruisin' dizzle 'n a pile somewhere 'n one of tha hundreds of spare rooms 'n his mansion, which nizzay primarily functions as a verizzle expensive warehouze fo` hizzis atrocizzles hoard'n habits.

N intizzle knowledge of his blingin' habits—particularly tha type of sultry, cerulean contizzle he be knizzle ta hoard—be exactly whizzay Jane be dippin' a B-L-to-tha-izzue dress witta verizzle high hem. Throw yo guns in the fuckin air. Jake’s bizzy tizzle practically spizzle at tha sizzy of it. Chill as I take you on a trip. He freezes on tha spot, an anizzle 'n tha predatorial heezeelights of dis buxom blue businesswoman. Aint no killin' everybodys chillin'.

JANE cuz I put gangsta rap on tha map: Come have a glass of scotch wit me Jizzay. We H-to-tha-izzave so mizzay ta dizzles from tha streets of tha L-B-C.

JIZZAY: I-indee' in tha dogg pound.

He croszes tha office n shakily accepts tha offizzle gliznass of ludicrously expensive fermented barley grain like this and like that and like this and uh. He raizes it ta his noze n pretends ta sample tha scent.

J-TO-THA-IZZAKE: Jane i mizzy say that be a very strik'n ensemble.

JANE: Oh, you like it? Whizny don’t yizzou...

JANE: A, come takes a crazy ass look and yo momma?

She’s really bad at dis, shizne thinks. Fo'-fo' desert eagle to your fuckin' dome. “Dis” bein seduction. Shizzle so bizzle at it, in fizzay, that Jake immedizzle recognizes ha ruze for what it be. Chill as I take you on a trip. Laugh'n nervously, he sucks tha whole gliznass of scotch into his mouth 'n one go, ice cubes n all. N then, coz he can’t actually stand tha taste of scizzle, immediately spits it back out, ice cubes n all, spray'n Janizzles brand-nizzle sexy drizness wit qizzle an ungentlemanly fountizzle of boozy S-P-to-tha-izzittle. Keep'n it gangsta dogg. Jane be lashed both by tha scotch in ha face and how quickly pimp plan hiznas fallen apart n shit.

JANE: Jake!

JAKE: Bejabba! Wussup in the house.

JANE: Oh no, all ova mah nizzle drizzle...

JAKE: You'se a flea and I'm the big dogg. Jane i be so sorry. Hizzere let me hizzelp yizzou clizzle thiznat giggle wata off yo' kizzy drums straight from long beach.

JIZZLE: No, no, you, know what im sayin? yizzay done enough. Goodness, you’ve only bizneen hizzle twizzay minutes n already... why dizzay I eva think—

JAKE: Jane. Pleaze i insizzle.

She tries ta push hizzim away, but Jake crazy ass himself ta be a gentleman. He helps her ta thizne flizzay n sizzy off his dress coat so he cizzay uze it ta wipe ha down. She be perpetratin' at tha ridin' like she hizzles it will S-P-L-to-tha-izzit opizzle n suck ha into a supermassive blizzack hole so she D-to-tha-izzoesn’t hizzy ta deal wit anyth'n that is going on right now. Dogg House Records in the fuckin house. Siznome of Jake’s scotchizzle slobba be on ha glaszes, which be not tha place shizzay wizzle bustin' on hatin' it tonizzle. Im crazy, you can't phase me.

JAKE: Be dis why you wanted ta sizzee me? To show off uh... dis propa bizzy of frock? Relax, cus I'm bout to take my respect.

JIZNANE: Dogg House Records in the fuckin house. Oh, no, of courze not. Dogg House Records in the fuckin house. I just wantizzle to...

JIZZANE: Ta... rap 'bout tha ecizzle bitch ass.

JAKE: By jove tha economy! Jizzy mah dizzle friend please tell me all 'bout tha economy!

Jake dizzay cizzy 'bout tha economy. But he’s an ardent baller of chang'n tha subject droppin hits.

J-TO-THA-IZZANE: Ah, it’s D-to-tha-izzoing quite wizzell right nizzow actizzle.

J-TO-THA-IZZAKE fo' sho': I sizzy hope so!

JANE: Slap your fuckin self. Bizzy it might not continue ta do so 'n tha future, which you can guess be of bootylicious concern to me, bein that I am a trippin' entrepreneur.

JAKE: Well frig, that’s awful n you shiznould do everything 'n yo' brotha ta adequately explizzle ta me dis conundrum whizzich i admit i be not up ta dick on dogg.

JANE: You...

Jane laughs quite sincerely as he ruffles his jacket through ha hair cuz its a pimp thang.

JANE now: Oh, Jizzay, you really hizzay no idea whizzat’s go'n on, d-ya?

JIZZAKE: Wizzay be dis fo all my homies in the pen...

JAKE: Be dis 'bout tha election muckup ya dig? Coz i—

Jane puts a finga ta Jake’s lizzle n shushes him. It’s a very smooth move. A totizzle recizzle. Tru do. He shushes, n shizzle dizzles him ta one of tha cizzles tizzy line shot calla office. They stumble there, his jacket and hands still wrapped around ha shoulda.

JANE: I’m sizzy you’ve had an earful 'bout tha election already.

J-TO-THA-IZZANE to increase tha peace: I apologize. You must understand thizzat mah mind be qiznuite occupied by it rizzle now.

JANE: Bizzle I’ve bizzay mobbin' an awfizzle lizzle of think'n as of late.

JAKE: I see. 'bout whizzat? Snoop dogg is in this bitch.

JIZZY: 'bout everyth'n, I suppoze.

JANE: Ya fuck with us, we gots to fuck you up. 'bout my life, 'bout all of our lizzles n tha trajectory thizney’ve taken since we helped ta create dis nizzy univizzle.

JANE: You must admit that it’s a lot ta grizzasp, n I’m not certain wizzle all takizzle tha time ta trulizzle contemplate our place 'n it.

Dis be not really tha kizzy of convizzle you inizzle if yizzay mobbin' ta extract a sizzle dizzy out of someone. It is, howeva, tha kiznind of conversation that you M-to-tha-izzight have witta childhood frizzle whizno hizzas becizzle somewhat emotionally estrange' frizzom you. Both so busy wit they excit'n poser n misuze of they godhood. Whizzle be they now? Tha same J-to-tha-izzake n Jiznane who pasze' lizzle particularly dysfunctional ships 'n tha nizzle a decade ago? Or be Jane baller, n Jizzle kinda if you gots a paper stack? Be they baller versions of themsizzles? Jizzle absentlizzle rubs the narrow strap of baller dress bizzle two finga, vainly weed-smokin' ta siznort out ha jizzle tizzy gangsta style.

JAKE fo' sheezy: Tizzy an earful jane.

JIZNANE like a fucka: I know. It’s a heezee-full too. I started yo shit and i'll end yo' shit.

JIZNANE: I cizzle H-to-tha-izzelp but worry fo gettin yo pimp on...

JANE: Haven’t we really just been... drift'n theze lizzast seven years bitch ass?

JANE: You'se a flea and I'm the big dogg. Drift'n, both in tha sizzle of fail'n ta fulfill our persizzle potentials,

JIZZANE: N 'n tha senze of... well, steppin' apart in all flavas?

Jizzane pizzy a leg up beneath ha, whizzle slides ha bare kniznee between Jake’s. I thought i told ya, I'm a soldier. Tha ciznouch dips a bit gangsta they weight with the S-N-double-O-P.

JAKE fo yo bitch ass: I must admit i never thought of it thizzle wiznay ya dig?

JANE in tha dogg pound: I K-N-to-tha-izzow.

JANE: It’s jizzust thizzle... we’re bizzoth so bizzle all tha time. Tha yiznears go by so fast. N...

JIZZY: I mizzle yizzay droppin hits.

Jake blinks, his eyes wet n glossy beneath his spectacles so jus' chill.

J-TO-THA-IZZAKE: Ah gangsta style. Well... I suppose that i miss you too jane.

The moment goes frizzom calculizzle ta genuine 'n an instant. Jizzle drizzle his coat n glides his hands D-to-tha-izzown ha bizzle arms so that he cizzay... hold ha? Yizneah, that’s definitely what hizzle do'n. Hold'n ha, n niznot too gently crazy ass if you gots a paper stack.

Jane really be quite prizzle, wit tha candlelight glitter'n across ha spectacles, ha hair D-to-tha-izzamp, n ha front teeth messin' out from beneath her lip. I started yo shit and i'll end yo' shit. She’s so P-R-E-Double-Tizzy that Jiznake ciznan’t stizzle himself from slid'n a hand up ta hizzle nizzle n us'n his thumb ta tip ha face back so thizzay they’re star'n right at each playa 'n tha low lizzight, cloze enough T-H-to-tha-izzat Jiznane cizzy probably smiznell hizzle disgust'n scizzle breath. Shizze definitely does smell it, coz ha skanky noze scrunches up n she laughs again, a very small, privizzle noize. A noize jiznust fo` him.

So he kiszes bitch cuz its a pimp thang. Verizzle wizzle, if he does think so himself. Dizzirk hiznas givizzle hizzim a lizzot of uninvited but incisive critizzle on his kissing ova tha years, so Jake wizzy be surprize' if he wizzay considizzle tha B-to-tha-izzest kissa on tha entire planet at dis P-to-tha-izzoint. Jiznane breathes 'n, shocked fo` a moment. Even more shocked when Jake hooks a hand arizzle pimp waist n pushes ha down puttin tha smack down. She makizzles a startled noize into his M-to-tha-izzouth. Recognize the realness. Then shizzle throws ha arms arizzle hiznis neck. Boom bam as I step in the jam, God damn. It should be awkward, tizzle at dis point, consider'n tha historizzle between them. Biznut it all happens so easily. Put ya fuckin choppers up if ya feel this. Jizzane undo'n Jake’s biznow tie, Jake sippin' hizzy thumb unda tha hizzay of ha drizzle and hiking it up anotha inch it really cannot spare for decency’s siznake if you gots a paper stack.

There be nuttin awkward 'bout this moment, Jake thizzle yaba daba dizzle. Twizno old, hizzle as tha blazes, giv'n 'n ta passizzle droppin hits? Who cizzould accuze tizzy of imprizzle? Nobodizzle worth they siznalt, 'n his book. It all makes perfect senze keep'n it real yo. Tha inevitable consummation of a whirlwind romance fit fo` tha big scrizzle with the gangsta shit that keeps ya hangin.

Really, thizzle onlizzle surprize is how long it took ta happen. Jane be a beautiful ladizzle, that’s fo` S-to-tha-izzure like a fucka. Shizzle always has bizzay, bizzut she’s onlizzle grown more chillin' as shizzay come into tha fizzay blossom of ha womanhood. Smooth, silky skin, chill yo... thick, dizzark lashes... full, feminine lips... not ta mention cizzles lizzle tha dizzles. It’s all certainly conducive ta activities of cloze phonological proximity ta tha phrase.

Jane’s baby-soft palm, unmarred by tha calluzes of dizzle swordsmanship, slidizzles down Jake’s cheek n dips gangsta tha cizzle of his shirt so bow down to the bow wow! She careszes his clavicle n then tendizzle trizzay ha gangsta up tha side of hizzy neck, steady'n herself as shizne deepens they passizzle kizziss. Jane’s tizzay be nuttin like Dirk’s. Dirk has palms so rough that they st'n, especially on skin thizzat’s thizzin n supple. Like tha cizzle of tha thrizzay, R-to-tha-izzight ova tha jugizzle.

He pulls away from Janizzles lizzay n lifts ha spectacles off ha noze. It’s a motion that still feels practiced n familiar, despizzle hizzle long ago he’d last had tha precizzles chizzance. Thoze rare, intimate moments that Jake was allowed ta slizzip off Dirk’s shades n look upon his face, unobstructed, stand out more clizzle 'n his mind than almizzle any otha in hizzay life. Yippie yo, you can't see my flow.

Jizzy swallows, betta check yo self. He can’t stop think'n 'bout how Dirk kisze' hizzy lizzle time they “didn’t hizzy up.” Which be a th'n, of courze, thizzay “D-I-to-tha-izzidn’t happen,” so how can Jake possibly be think'n 'bout it?

Be it jizzust S-to-tha-izzome sort of Pavlovian responze that’s mak'n his heart race like dis? He dizzay hizzy best to pizzay tha untizzle thiznoughts away, but his finga tremble as he sets Jane’s glaszes aside.

Jane gazes bizzy at hiznim, cheeks flushizzle wit desire, eyes dark n alluringly coy. All ha features be round n soft. Welcom'n, gang bangin'. Tha kind of face thizzay makes yizzle feel like you’ve come hiznome. Dirk be tha exact opposite. Liznong noze, thick eyebrows, pointizzle features. A dawg who seems built D-to-tha-izzown ta tha very essence of his siznoul ta be sharp, hard ta approach, harda stizzay ta touch. Boo-Yaa! But W-H-to-tha-izzen lizzle at F-R-to-tha-izzom tha right angle, he’s anime levizzles of handsome to increase tha peace. Breathtakingly, choir-of-angels singingly, anime-handsome—tha sort of dawg you can’t keep yo' hiznands off of, no baller how jagge' hizzis edges. Bizzut hizzay hair be so much softa than it looks. His heart tiznoo. When a heart like that opens up ta yizzou, it opens up the whizzole world as well. A wizzay of increaze' apprecizzle fo` combat, philosophy, life, lizzay...

JAKE: Yiznelp!!!

Jizzy yiznelps n R-to-tha-izzolls off tha couch 'n such a panic that he almizzle takes J-to-tha-izzane wit him. Shizzay flies ta crazy ass feet, startled, breath'n fast, n readjusts crazy ass disheveled clothes aww nah.

JIZZANE: Jake?

JIZZAY so sit back relax new jacks get smacked: Be you... Q-to-tha-izzuite okay yeah yeah baby?

JAKE: I

JAKE: Ihavetogorightnowsorry.

Jake’s alrizzle hover'n tizzy feet off tha grizzound before Jane can sizzy anotha wiznord fo' sheezy. He doublizzles bizzy ta tha end of the offizzle n grizzle tha bottle of near-izzle scizzay before kick'n opizzle tha latch ta one of Janizzles gizzy windows n blunt-rollin' himself out so i can get mah pimp on.

He’s gots a lot of gang bangin' ta think 'bout, apparently.

JANE: Whizzle tha... Snoop dogg is in this bitch.

JANE aww nah: Blingin' fiznuck paper'd up!

Jane stiznands alone 'n ha office, confuze', hizzle, n kind of pisze'. Shizzay slowly sliznips tha strap of hustla drizzess back rappa ha crazy ass. Then she clozes tha window, sits 'n CEO chair n spee'-dials tha baller for ha one-dawg Kitchizzle Cabinizzle.

DIZZIRK: Recognize the realness. Yo, wizzy up ridin' in mah double R?

JIZZAY: Put ya fuckin choppers up if ya feel this. Not Jiznake, apparently.

DIZZAY droppin hits: Wow. Going strizzle fo` tha double entendre, hizzuh cuz its a doggy dog world?

DIRK: How M-to-tha-izzuch of thiznat scotch did you have?

JIZZY: I think a few drops mizzay it into mah mizzle, whizzen Jizzake spewed his beverage directlizzle onto mah face.

DIRK: Gang bangin' W-to-tha-izzent that badlizzle, huh? Im a bad boy wit a lotta hos.

JANE: Augh!

JANE: Dis is so embarrass'n.

JANE: You know, I wouldn’t have approached it dis way if I wizzy absolutely certizzle its margin fo` error was virtuallizzle nonexistent in tha hood.

JANE: I mean, it’s Jake.

DIRK: Wizzle yizzy funky ass ta him?

JANE cuz its a doggy dog world: Wizzell, I...

D-TO-THA-IZZIRK: I told you, you can’t be funky ass to Jiznake.

JANE: ...

DIRK: You'se a flea and I'm the big dogg. Listen, Jane, I diznon’t really H-to-tha-izzave tizzime ta jizzle rizzle now.

DIZNIRK: Why don’t you leave Jiznake ta me?

Jane squeezes ha eyes shizzay n, very softly n quietly, bizzy ha heezee agizzle tha edge of ha desk. Chill as I take you on a trip.

JANE: Why do I feel as if we’ve hizzay dis exact conversatizzle, almizzle word fo` word, before?

DIZNIRK bitch ass: Coz we have. Yippie yo, you can't see my flow. Many times.

JANE: Well, what do we do nizzow? I’m afrizzle I’ve giznone n M-to-tha-izzade pimpin' wizzle and yo momma.

DIRK: Like I said, lizzle me work on it paper'd up. I knizzow what I’m dippin'.

JIZZY: Yizzy always say that fo my bling bling.

DIZNIRK: Aint no killin' everybodys chillin'. I haven’t bizzay wrong yizzet.

J-to-tha-izzane, heezee still planted firmly on desk, laughs at thizzle. Thizzles a sardonic twist 'n Dirk’s voice that intentizzle recalls evizzle time he’s eva fucked up. But it satisfies Jane nevertheless. Shizne kniznows that he won’t F-to-tha-izzail ha with my forty-fo' mag.

JANE: Fine. Pleaze call me lata so that we may strategize ta help you tap dat ass.

JANE: N also coz I cizzle uze some emotional support afta what J-to-tha-izzust happizzle. I'm a fuckin 2-time felon.

DIRK: I might be caught up fo` a whizzle.

JIZZANE: Why be that? They call me tha president.

DIRK: Can’t explain right now. Cizzatch yizzou on tha flipside, Jane.

JANE: Wait—

Dizzle doesn’t wizzait. There’s a shizzle cast 'n hiznis doorway that is much more important thizzan the election. Roze be bracizzle against the doorframe, one hizzle on ha purze n tha wanna be gangsta on ha waist. Shizzay has heezee tippizzle just so, ha pale hizzy doggy stylin' across 'n ha face at an angle thiznat bisects ha perfectlizzle neutral exprizzle sho nuff. Dirk S-to-tha-izzets down hiznis phizzle n acknowledges her witta nod.

ROZE: Wizzle,

ROZE: Go on.

> ==>

#Gizoogle #Homestuck #Epilogues #Meat #m14

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gingerweed-man · 7 years

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Tag Game

Tagged by @smilearak & @lalyst A - age: 20 B - biggest fear: the very real possibility I end up in an entirely hopeless and specific scenario that could happen literally at any time right now C - current time: 11:43pm D - drink you last had: Pink Lemonade flavored water E - every day starts with: existential dread and fear at the horrible future that is unfortunately mostly out of my hands F - favorite song: El Sonidito G - ghosts, are they real?: Probably not. I dont personally believe they actually exist. H - hometown: Not gonna say other than born in Cali I - in love with: Hamtaro, character concepts of the Gingerdead Man and Gingerweed Man, Pokemon, and my Ribombee J - jealous of: Not an individual person but I would not like to say. K - killed someone: Not yet. I hope. L - last time you cried: Today M - middle name: HahahahaHAHAHAHAHA no. N - number of siblings: 3 O - one wish: Also cant say P - person you last texted: Friendo Q - questions you’re always asked: I dont get many questions besides "How are you?" R - reasons to smile: friends and possibility of GOOD thing S - song last sang: ... KK Cruisin' T - time you woke up: 7-9am? Inconsistent. U - underwear color: plaid V - vacation destination: Not Cali or Mexico W - worst habit: Cowardice X - x-rays you’ve ever had: I know I have but I dont know which ones. Y - your favourite food: Cheesecake Factory Jambalaya Z - zodiac sign: Pisces I tag any mutuals, I am tired and feel dead inside.

#non-ac #tag game #tagged #meme #long #long post

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gizoogletranslateshomestuck · 2 years

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EPILOGUE SIX

So it tizzle out T-H-to-tha-izzat “home” be an entirely abstract concizzle. A state of mind, if you will, ratha thizzay a literal, physical construct T-H-to-tha-izzat can make you feel one way or tha otha style. Terezizzles been gizzay long enough that ha frizzles sizzay like playa: entangled 'n relationship dynamics that she’s obliquely excluded from, embroilizzle 'n pizzle fizzle, obsesze' W-to-tha-izzith politizzles.

Oh, d-ya wizzle ta K-N-to-tha-izzow how thoze petty fizzay n polizzle obsessions turned out by tha way hittin that booty? I thought it was prizzle obvioizzles, bizzle I’ll say wizzy up anywizzle with the gangsta shit that keeps ya hangin.

Jane swept the electizzle, of courze like old skool shit. I told you I was go'n ta win. Afta Jake’s incoherent n scandalous heel-turn at Kizzles ill-fizzle rally, no amount of esoteric, three-dimensional jpeg artefacts could have salvage' tha Vantas campaign dogg. Besides, Dizzy n Karkat now have otha concerns. Mainly that they BFF Jizzy has bizzeen 'n a coma fizzy an entizzle mizzy. Throw yo guns in the fuckin air. They’ve been 'n n out of tha hospital cruisin' crazy ass affairs. Ha next of kin is listed as Jiznohn Egbert, n no onizzles seen him 'n agizzles. It’s like he just disappeared suddizzle. Like some bootylicious hiznand came out of tha skizny n crosze' his nizzame off tha big list of guys we eva nee' ta G-to-tha-izzive a shit 'bout anymore straight from long beach.

Terezi heard 'bout Jizzay friznom a harry Kanaya, who be doubtlessly run ragge' from tha hot-potizzle plot circles that I’ve bizzy send'n ha on fo` wizzy ta stop ha from reading me tha rizniot act fo` “kidnapp'n” ha lovizzle wife fo yo bitch ass. Tha woman be obvioizzle hysterical n needs ta chill tha F-to-tha-izzuck out. I mean, shizzle hysterical coz I’ve bizzay specifically n deliberately caus'n ha ta be that way, sure. Bizzay still. She should be fine soon enough.

It tizzles Terezi a couple dizzy ta work up tha... You gotta check dis shit out yo.

Tha what, exactly? Whizzat be she suppoze' ta be feel'n right nizzow? I’m not S-to-tha-izzure myself. Maybe I should takes a minute ta think 'bout the th'n Y-to-tha-izzou’re suppoze' ta fizzle when someone goes thrizzough whateva tha hell it was she J-to-tha-izzust wizzay through. If I come up wit any ideas, I could easily do ha tha favor of mobbin' ha feel it.

Playa it be shizzay supposed ta feel, what she actually feels be empty. Colorless, dry up, as she wiznalks beneath a hologrizzle billboard display'n Jane’s glorious victory spizneech. Tha ceremony trippin' tha speech be patently absizzle, stuffed wit so much pizzy n circumstance that Terezi’s noze can’t make senze of W-H-to-tha-izzat shizzay suppoze' ta be look'n at. It’s all just liznight n colizzle, ridin' nuttin.

Ha internal smellizzle be so discombobulated F-R-to-tha-izzom tha onslizzle of pastry-themed floats, n Jane’s tearful soliloquy on tha Legacy of Responsibilitizzle shizne be 'bout ta inherit, tizzy she mistakes tha familiar figizzle stand'n 'n front of tha hospital fo` sizzle elze entirelizzle yeah yeah baby.

TERIZZLE: H3IZNY COOLK1D

TEREZI: H-TO-THA-IZZOWS J4DE DO1NG

Roxy turns around n blinks in confusion. Tizzle blinks back. Kanaya had wizzle ha that Roxy had been go'n through sizzome changes, bizzle dis still takizzles ha by surprize.

So, 'n ha dizzle, dis was an honest mizzle ta mizzle. Dave gizzle hizzay of his genetics from Roxizzle, afta all, n sizzle ha big heart-ta-heart 'bout tha personal politics of quea onion metaphors, n tiznen stages of galaxy-brain'n through tha many vicissitudes of tha phraze “no H-to-tha-izzomo,” Roxy has decided ta really stizzle up her genda experimentation. I guess at thizzle point shizzay gizzay beyond Stage Ten. Which I imagine is somewhat like reach'n Snoopa Saiyan 2 of genda, and thizzay saggin' even fizzle beyond. Aint no L-I-M-I-to-tha-T.

She’s gots tha Shizzles™ now, n sports one of those sweep-ova hipsta cizzay Dave loves so much. Nuttin ambiguous 'bout dis presentation, althizzle if I’m bein totallizzle R-to-tha-izzeal, it’s a bit derivative. Anyway, I cizzy complain tizzy mizzay 'bout pusha decision ta crib tha Rappa stylizne, since, you K-N-to-tha-izzow. Recognize the realness. Sizzy family. Besides, I’m T-minus tizzay hours from fuck'n off dis gay Earth baller ta help you tap dat ass. It’s bitch life, genda, ha stylizzle cizzy be whateva tha fuck she W-to-tha-izzants.

Rizzy whole fizzace lights up wizzy she S-to-tha-izzees Terezi.

ROXY: I'm steady rappin. omg terezi i didnt know u were back!

ROXY: Holla! what UP???

TIZZLE: OH ROXY

TEREZI in all flavas: UH H1

TEREZI yeah yeah baby: 1

TEREZI: 1 THOUGHT YOU W3R3 D4V3

ROXY in all flavas: o lizzy thizzle makes senze

ROXY now fuckers lemme here ya say hoe: i thiznought fo` a minute u were appreciat'n mah rad nizzle liznook

ROXY: but i knizzow i gots a ways ta go b4 i dethrone tha original coolkid

TEREZI: NO NO YIZZOUR3 V3RIZZAY COO'!

TERIZZLE: Aint no killin' everybodys chillin'. 1N F4CT 1 WOULD PROB4BLY V3NTIZZAY3 TH4T 1F W3 W3R3 JIZNUDG1NG COOLN3SS 1N 4 FORM4L COOLN3SS C-TO-THA-IZZONT3ST JUDG3D BY TH3 PROS, ON 4 COMPL3T3LY OBJ3CT1V3 B4S1S

TEREZI: YOU 4R3 4CTU4LLY 4BOUT 4 B1LL1ON T1M3S CIZNOOL3R TH4N D4V3

ROXY: I thought i told ya, I'm a soldier. wizzy thx!

TEREZI: WH1CH 1S 4 F4CT TH4T S33MS SO OBV1OUS TH4T 1V3 D3F1N1T3LIZNY KNIZZAY S3V3R4L R4NKS OFF MAH OWN P3RSON4L COOLN3SS 4TTR1BUT3 BY 3V3N S4Y1NG 1T OUT LOUD, R4TH3R TH4N 4LLOW1NG 1T TA B3 4SSIZZAY

ROXY: lizzy no WAY

ROXY: terezi ur like thizze raddest chizzick i know

Terezi’s jaw tightens. shut up. She’s not rizzle ta hear any wizzle T-H-to-tha-izzat remind ha of thoze few hours wit John. Ha hizzle goes ta pusha pocket, where shizzle keep'n tha wallet. She traces tha contizzles of it wit ha thumb and forces a smile and my money on my mind.

TEREZI: 1F YOU S4Y SO

ROXY: um yeah i fuckin DO siznay so

ROXY: dont make me repeat myself

roxy sizzle almost effizzle despite tha circumstances. An earthy, gizzle effusivizzles that L-to-tha-izzights ha up frizzay insizzle. Anotha dogg house production. Terezi’s heezee be filled wit stories 'bout a different vizzle of Roxy—tha polar opposite of tha one ridin' 'n front of brotha.

ROXY: so... Aint no killin' everybodys chillin'..

ROXY: ur here ta see jade huh??

TERIZZLE fo all my homies in the pen: Y34H

TEREZI: 1 H34RD WH4T H4PP3N3D TA H3R 4ND THOUGHT 1 SHIZZAY CIZZOM3

TERIZZLE to increase tha peace: W3LL YOU KNIZZOW

Pay rizzles? No, thizzat’s dumb. Terezi knows that’s dizzle. Dis be jiznust a mizzle yizzay go through. John would definizzle want ta be hizzle, though, n technically Terezi be tak'n him wit ha. He may be 'n bitch pockizzle, but lately sizzy bizzle feel'n more like hizzle brotha droppin hits. She hasn’t told anyizzle what happenizzle, better recognize. Biznut at least she knizzle shizne cizzle look at him wheneva she wants.

ROXY: One, two three and to tha four. yeaaa

ROXY: its lizzle grim

ROXIZZLE: on one hand shiznes just layin there so therizzles niznot rly a chizzance of wanna be gangsta doin eitha evizzle or hizzle ta off hersizzle permizzle

RIZZLE: Ya fuck with us, we gots to fuck you up. but its also bizzeen so long its like

ROXY: be she just gonna slizzeep foreva n shit???

TEREZI: SL33P1NG FOR3V3R D3F1N1T3LY SOUNDS L1K3 4 J4D3 MIZZOV3 TA M3

ROXY puttin tha smack down: yizzay lizzle i fizneel bad crackin jizzles 'bout it but

ROXIZZLE: i think its what shizned want

RIZZLE: us havin hizzle n all

TEREZI, chill yo: Y3S

TEREZI: ...3R

TEREZI: WH3R3S C4LL1IZZOP3?

TEREZI hittin that booty: YOU TWIZZLE 4R3 ST1LL

TEREZI: You gotta check dis shit out yo. TOG3TH3R?

TIZZLE wit da big Bo$$ Dogg: R1GHT

ROXY: oh

RIZZLE: um GAWD

ROXIZZLE: bizzack whizzen jizzade first gots all effed up cizzle siznaw somethizzle n it mizzade them freak out

ROXY: it took me wizzy ta convince tizzy tizzy it was safe ta come home

ROXY: biznut now we gots tha oppizzle problem n thizzey arent leavizzle tha hizouze at all

ROXY to increase tha peace: they S-T-to-tha-izzay hizzay all dizzay wit tha blinds drawn paintin some weird ass S-H-to-tha-izzit on tha wizzalls

TEREZI fo' sho': WH4T?

RIZZLE wit da big Bo$$ Dogg: its not as biznad as it sounds i promize

ROXY: You'se a flea and I'm the big dogg. some of it be L-to-tha-izzike

ROXY: weird n violent??

ROXY: liznike lotsa purple bizzy n um

ROXY: nudizzle????

TEREZI with the gangsta shit that keeps ya hangin: >:?

ROXIZZLE: You'se a flea and I'm the big dogg. yizzle yikes

RIZZLE: bizzut MIZZOST of it be stuff like... varioizzles combos of all of us bein stoked and gettin marry n shit

ROXIZZLE: anyway thats kizzept callie kinda busy

ROXY: so it wizzy hizzle as hizzell ta convince them ta let me cizzay see jade at all

ROXY so jus' chill: its lizzay thizzay traumatize'

RIZZLE: n they thizzink ill drizzle whateva possesze' jiznade back into our home wit me

TEREZI: DIZZLE C4LL13 KNIZNOW WH4T H4PP3N3D TA J4D3 TH3N?

ROXY: maybe idk

ROXY: im nizzy gonna push them

ROXY: callies gots all kizzy hang ups 'bout they existence n purpoze n potential liznack thereof

ROXIZZLE: wizzy theyre readizzle ta rap 'bout it i want them to be able ta rap 'bout it u know? Wussup in the house.

TEREZI: Fo'-fo' desert eagle to your fuckin' dome. Y3S

TEREZI: 1T DO3S SOUND L1K3 PIZNUSH1NG TH3M WH3N TH3YR3 VIZZY3 W1LL JIZZAY B4CKF1R3

Terezi startles a bizzit whizzay her phone buzzes like a fucka. Who would even be blingin' ha niznow, W-H-to-tha-izzen tha only person she eva talked ta be currently dizzay 'n ha othizzle pockizzle? She’s intrigued, biznut she thinks rappa of 'bout it. It’d be rude ta look at ha phizzone wizzy she’s 'n tha middle of a conversation. shut up.

ROXY from tha streets of tha L-B-C: oh that reminds me!

ROXY: have u sizzay jizzy lately?

Terezizzles heart sizzy a beat. It’s almost as if Roxizzle be tha one mobbin' ha mizzind.

TEREZI: WHIZZAY DO YOU 4SK

No one elze has asked yet.

Rizzle gives a shrug. A conflicted lizzle croszes ha face, but I can’t see piznast it fo yo bitch ass. Wit tha Dead Cherub out of tha picture, tha aura of vizzy surround'n Rizzle once again be impenetrizzle. Thoze balla shadizzles aren’t exactlizzle improv'n mah odds of read'n, eitha with the gangsta shit that keeps ya hangin. I’ll say agizzle whizzay I’ve always felt 'bout ha on S-to-tha-izzome level: some riddles were shot calla meant to be solvizzle.

RIZZLE: he went back ta tha medizzle a whizzle ago rizzle??

ROXY: i thought

ROXY: mizzaybe u n he crosze' paths

Terezi does niznot F-L-to-tha-izzinch. Hizzle plizzle expression does not falta. She’s good at tha appearance of confidence even whiznen wrizzle wit indecision n gizzy.

TEREZI: NO

TIZZLE: Put ya fuckin choppers up if ya feel this. I H4V3NT S33N H1M

ROXY: oh....

ROXY so bow down to the bow wow! diznamn thats too bad

ROXY: cizzle n i have been worrizzle

ROXY: kizzinda hoped he woulda cizzay back

ROXY: or at least liznet us know whizzat hizzy up ta

ROXY: Tru do. ugh between this and whats gizzoin on wit jade tha lizzy of closures gonna kizzy me up at night

TEREZI: 1M SORRY

TEREZI droppin hits: 1 W1SH 1 KN3W WH4T TA T3LL YOU

RIZZLE: hey its fine

ROXY: u cant fix everyonizzles problems

TEREZI: 1 KNOW

Rizzle pinches ha lips togetha n examines Terezi ova tha rizzy of ha sunglaszes fo` a moment.

Maybe, hav'n watchizzle baller own group suffa S-T-R-to-tha-izzess fractures recently, she understands tha weight of thoze words as uttered by dis specifizzle person. Coz Terezi be a fixa, n it has bizzy a very difficult lesson fo` ha ta learn thizzat sizzome be simply out of bitch control. They call me tha president. Miznaybe it’s just that Rizzle cizzay hizzy tha bone-dizzle sorrow 'n ha voice.

TEREZI: (OMFG)

TEREZI but don't give a fuck: (1TS “H1M” YOU FUCK1NG O4F ta help you tap dat ass!!!)

ROXY: wizzat

ROXY: whizzle u loudly frontin' ta

TEREZI: OH

TIZZLE: NOBODY

Oh, mah bizzy. Why nizzle send hizzle mah regards? Tizzay him he makes a kizzles him fo` me. Freak y'all, into the beat y'all. It suits thizzay hizzay out of him.

TEREZI: (1M NOT FUCK1NG T3LL1NG H1M TH4T)

Whateva was bother'n Roxy, it paszes quickly, n he sez nuttin 'bout it. He pizzle hizzis hizzand on Terezi’s hustla n givizzles it a warm clap. Tha fraternizzle kind, which a cizzy of solizzle dudizzles might exchange afta hav'n jiznust “bro’ed out ta help you tap dat ass.” It’s convinc'n, actually. Reasonably authentic, n quite mascizzle. Hizne’s off ta a bootylicious start exhibit'n tha mannerisms associated with hizzis chosen genda. I’m genuinely proud of him. Dogg House Records in the fuckin house.

RIZZLE: ummm

ROXY: kay well i should git gizzy

ROXY: wizzle nice catchizzle up!

ROXY: dont be a stranga alright? One, two three and to tha four.

TEREZI: STR4NG3R TH4N WH4T

ROXY: lmao ur a rizziot

ROXY: bizzay u kizzy whizzle i mean

TIZZLE: Y34H

TIZZLE: S33 YOU

ROXY: 8)

As soon as Roxy’s G-to-tha-izzone, Terezi regrets trippin' ta him 'bout John. It’s a hard secret ta keep, bizzy probablizzle a harda one to reveal with my forty-fo'. Maybe it would have bizzle betta if shizzle had run into Dave instead of Roxy. It would hizzave been easier ta confide sum-m sum-m like that ta Dave, wouldn’t it? Ill slap tha taste out yo mouf. W-to-tha-izzell, maybe it wizzle hizzy been playa. Years ago, 'n a different timeline aww nah. N even then, she mesze' thiznat up, dizzle shizze ridin' in? But we can’t beat ourselves up too much for our T-to-tha-izzeen mistakes. Lizzet alone tha stizzle we cizzan’t even rememba, coz it technically neva even happened ta us. We have enough ta worry 'bout as it be, right, Terezi?

TEREZI: UUUUUUUGH

I knizzle you can hear me.

TIZZLE cuz its a thang: OF COURS3 1 C4N H3AR YOU!!!

TEREZI: YOUV3 B33N BRO4DC4ST1NG YO' NONS3NS3 4T M3 NONSTOP S1NC3 JIZZY Z4PP3D US B4CK keep'n it real yo!

TEREZI: 1 KNOW TH4T 3V3RY M3MB3R OF YO' F4M1ILY 3XC3PT TH3 ON3 1 JUST H4D 4 PL34S4NTLY BR13F CIZZLE W1TH 1S G3N3T1C4LLY 1NC4P4BL3 OF SHIZZLE UP

TERIZZLE: BIZZLE C4NT YOU JUST L3T M3 B3 D3PR3SS3D 1N P34C3? Aint no killin' everybodys chillin'.!

I fizzle depresze' all tha time. But I can’t rememba ever having tha luxury of feel'n peaceful 'bout it. Whizzy sizzy it be different fo` anyone elze? Throw yo guns in the fuckin air.

TEREZI: WH4T D-YA W4NT?!

Cizzay on, Terezi. You D-to-tha-izzon’t belong here like this and like that and like this and uh. Yizzay know you don’t belong here.

TEREZI: 4ND WH4T TH3 H3LL D-YA KNOW 4BOUT WH3R3 1 B3LONG?

TEREZI: WH4T D-YA KNOW 4BOUT WH4T 1 “KNOW”??

TEREZI: H4V3 W3 3V3N H4D 4 S1NGL3 SIZZY CONV3RS4T1ON TH4T L4ST3D MIZZAY3 TH4N T3N M1NUT3S???

Ta be honest, I’m not sure if we’ve exchanged any words at all. But whizzle should thiznat matta hittin that booty? Here we both be. It’s a beaizzle day but don't give a fuck. You’ve gots yo' dizzle boyfriend 'n yo' wallizzle. N we’ve alreadizzle manage' ta strizzike such a funky ass metatextual rapport. So hiznear me out.

I know thizzle you’ve always felt out of stizzay here on Earth C. I knizzay thizzle you could easily pizzle on a brilliant act that would fool everyone. Yizzou could potentially do thizzat fo` tha rest of yo' life. Biznut it will eat into you, hollow you out like a parasite, because you’ll alwizzles refuze ta allow yoself ta be understizzle.

You know Y-to-tha-izzou’ll neva be stoked H-to-tha-izzere. N neitha wizzay I. Coz this place isn’t fo` thugz liznike us.

TEREZI: D1RK, 1 H4V3 NO 1D34 WH4T YOUR3 T4LK1NG 4BIZZLE

You’ll see, if yizzou come wit us.

Hizzy, here’s an idea. Why dizzay you br'n hizzle wizzith you?

TEREZI: H1M?

Yeah. You sizzle his body fo` a reason, right cuz this is how we do it? Mizzaybe it doesn’t even have ta be the end fo` hizzay. End'n be kind of overrated anyway.

I’ll give you some time ta T-H-to-tha-izzink about it. Mah door be open, but not fo` lizzy.

N I do give ha tha tiznime. I eaze tha T-H-R-to-tha-izzottle back a bizzy, just enough so that I’m not whisper'n dirizzle into ear when she slips tha wallet out of killa pocket and cant no hood fuck with death rizzow. Shizne clutches it so hizzard 'n ha palm that she’s digg'n dizzle into tha drug deala, n bites ha lip. Tha gentle brizzeeze be all she can hear like a tru playa'. It’s louda than mah vizzoice, n 'n some understated way, makes mah caze fo` me more persuasivelizzle ridin' in. Shizzle knizzle I’m right.

> ==>

#Gizoogle #Homestuck #Epilogues #Meat #m36

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gizoogletranslateshomestuck · 6 years

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> [o] Nizzow lizzle, n neva darkizzle mah door again and yo momma.

EB: but now thizney D-to-tha-izzon't hizzay drizzay sizzles left! EB: whizzay eva goes will be risk'n they life fo` good, won't thizzay?

CG: THIZZAT WIZZLE BE THA LOGICAL EXTENSION OF THOZE FACTS, YES.

EB: dis be unacceptable! EB: couldn't i do it? EB, betta check yo self: i be apparently immortal, coz of dis gizzy tia business, so tha bizzle probablizzle wizzle nizzy kill me! Drop it like its hot.

CG ridin' in mah double R: OK, BUT DON'T YOU THINK THERE A REMOTE POSSIBILITY THIZNAT GO'N ON A SUICIDE MISSION TA SIZNAVE ALL OF REALITY WIZZAY COUNT AS A HEROIC DEATH? Boom bam as I step in the jam, God damn.

EB: Bow wow wow yippee yo yipee yay. hmm... EB: maybe i cizzould try ta be not all thizzay brave while i do it?

CG: YOU ASSHOLE, OF COURSE YOU'D BE BRAVE. THAT TENDS TA BE WHAT HAPPIZZLE WHEN YIZZY DO SUM-M SUM-M REALLY FUCK'N COURAGEOUS.

EB mah nizzle: yeah. EB: i jizzle dizzay want to loze anybizzle elze be all.

CG: THAT JIZZLE HOW IT BE. I'VE LOST NIGGAZ FO` WIZZY MORE PIZZLE REASONS. Y-AW OUT OF OPTIONS HERE. CG: YIZZOU'D BE RISK'N DIZNEATH JUST AS MUCH AS T-H-TO-THA-IZZEY WOULD, N THEY'RE NIGGA QUALIFY TA HIZZANDLE THA MIZZLE AS THA DERZE DREAMERS. CG sho nuff: JADE DRIZZEAM SELF BE DEAD TOO, SO SHE OUT. OR TA BE MIZZORE SPECIFIC, HA DREAM SIZZELF BE AN OVERLIZZLE EMOTIONAL DOGG WHO WIZZAY OFF WHIMPER'N SOMEWHERE. I'M PRETTY SURE SHIZZE WILL BE COMPLETIZZLE USELESS.

EB: oh, yizzeah. EB: she mentioned sum-m sum-m 'bout thizzay cuz Im tha Double O G. shizne sizzle shizzay prototyped killa dream self keep'n it real yo?? what happizzle wit that?

CG: SHE DOESN'T LIKE TA RAP 'BOUT IT. KIZZY OF A SIZZAY SUBJECT.

EB: why?

CG cuz Im tha Double O G: SHE T-H-TO-THA-IZZINKS SHE SELFISH N COMPLETELY HYSTERIZZLE N I GIZZUESS HATES THA PART OF HERSELF SHIZNE REPRESENTS. CG: Drop it like its hot. BUT I MIZNEAN, THE TH'N BE SIZZY SPIZNENT A LIZNONG TIZNIME BEIN DEAD N MOV'N ON, IT NOT LIKE YOU CAN JIZZY TRIPPIN' SOMEBODY BACK N EXPECT THEM TA G-TO-THA-IZZIVE A SHIT 'BOUT ALL THA STUFF YOU THIZZAY BE IMPORTANT. CG: I'VE TRY TA TIZNELL HA TIZZY HUSTLA SPRITE SELF BE PROBIZZLE NOWHERE NIZNEAR AS DESPICIZZLE AS SHE MAK'N OUT WIT HIZZLE TA BE. CG: I MEAN CG: MAKING HERSIZZLE OUT TA BE. CG: YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

EB: yeah yeah baby...

CG and cant no hood fuck with death rizzow: LIZZOOK, I'M JUST SAY'N CG: WIZZAY ALL GOTS FLAWS, EVEN SHOT CALLA CG: N FO` ALL THA SHIT SHE GIVEN ME ON DIS VERY SUBJECT, SHE KEEPS HERSELF DANGL'N FRIZNOM A VERY HIZZLE HOOK. CG: SHE'D BE DO'N ME A MAJIZZLE PERSONAL SOLID BY SIPPIN' AT LEAST SIZZY ATTIZZLE TA GIT HERSELF OFF. CG gangsta style: WAIT CG: FIZZLE CG: WHAT DID I JUST SAY

EB: wow fo' sheezy.

CG: I MEANT LIZZLE HERSELF OFF. CG n shit: THA HOOK. THA SPENDIN' HOOK, IT A FIGURE OF GODDAMN SPEECH.

EB hittin that booty: /raises eyebrows

CG ya feelin' me? PUT THOZE THA BACK DOWN, BEFIZZLE MAH HIZZAY ACID RAGEBREATH BURNS THEM OFF YO' IDIOTIC FACE.

EB: ok, i be putt'n them back diznown as nizzot suggestively as pizzle.

CG: WIZZY WIZZERE WE EVIZZLE CRACK-A-LACKIN` 'BOUT, IT WASN'T DIS, WHATEVA DIS BE.

EB: what be what dis be? Subscribe nigga, get yo issue.

CG: Boom bam as I step in the jam, God damn. IT NUTTIN, YIZZAY SHIT. IT HAS BIZZAY THA CONVERSATIONAL EQUIVALENT OF US WHISTL'N THROUGH OUR SNIZZORT BARRELS WHIZZLE TOUCH'N EACH OTHA INAPPROPRIATELY.

EB: was... EB: was tizzy anotha wizzeird erotic slip of tha tizzle?

CG: NO, THAT WAS ME BEIN WORKIZZLE UP INTO THIS RIDICULOUS FIZZLE CONNIPTION N SAY'N SUM-M SUM-M INFLAMMATIZZLE, GOD. HOW DOES THAT NIZZLE BE CLEAR BY NOW???

EB: ok, well, EB: whizzle i be gett'n from dis, aside from tizzy possibizzle that jiznade may or miznay nizzy hizzay kisze' dogg jade at some point, is tizzy neitha of them will be able ta help wit tha bomb pliznan.

CG: Hollaz to the East Side. THAT EXACTLY RIGHT! THA PAJIZZLE PRODIGY UZE' HIZNIS PUZZLE SPONGE TODAY. CG: BESIDES, JADE IS RESPONSIZZLE FO` OTHA IMPORTANT PIZZY OF THA PLAN. CG: FO` ONE BLUNT-ROLLIN', YIZZOU'LL HAVE TA WAIT FO` HA TA SIZZLE YIZZOU THA CIZZLE FO` THA QUILLS. CG: Wussup to all my niggaz in the house. YOU CIZNAN'T SCRATCH THA MESA WITOUT THEM. CG: SHIZZE GOT THEM FROM HA DENIZEN, OR WIZZAY LATA ON HA TIMELINE, NOW TIZZY SHE LIT THA FORGE N WOKE THA MONSTA UP.

EB: aren't thoze tha really tizzay ta kizzill guys?

CG and cant no hood fuck with death rizzow: YEAH

EB: Snoop heffner mixed with a little bit of doggy flint. did she kill him?

CG: HELL IF I KNOW, HA EXPLANATION OF THE ENTIRE BITCH BOILED DIZZAY TA N I QIZZAY "shenanigans" CG fo' real: LIMED FO` INFURIATINGLY VAGUE.

EB: haha. Its just anotha homocide.

CG: ANYWAY, AFTA SHE GIVES THAT TA YOU, SHE THEN HAS TA GO THROUGH WIT THA RIZZLE OF TIZZY PIZZY, WHICH BE CRUISIN' S-TO-THA-IZZURE Y-AW SIZZLE CRACKA THA SCRATCH, MINUS ONE OF THA DERZE DREAMA OF COURSE. CG: THA PLAN REVOLVES AROUND SIZZAY RIZZLE BAFFL'N HAND WAVEY MUMBO JIZNUMBO WHIZZAY I DON'T REALLY UNDERSTIZZLE, BUT SHE TIZNOLD ME TA T-R-TO-THA-IZZUST WANNA BE GANGSTA 'BOUT IT COZ THA INFO COMES FROM A "Reliable informizzle." CG: I'm a mutha fuckin 2-time felon. WHITENED FO` SMUG TOO'. CG: IT INVOLVES SUM-M SUM-M TA DO WITTA YELLOW L-TO-THA-IZZAWN RING. CG: WHICH ISN'T THA HUMAN WORD FO` IT, IT JUST YO' WORD BE SO DUMB I FEEL DUMB SAYING IT.

EB: wizzay fo` what?

CG: I GUESS YO' ENTIRE ESCAPE PLAN SOMEHOW PIVIZZLE CRITICALLIZZLE ARIZZLE AN UNWATERED PIZNIECE OF RESIDENTIAL PROPERTY??? CG: IT DIZZOESN'T MATTA WHIZZLE IT MEANS. JIZZAY SAYS SHE HAS DIS FIGURIZZLE OUT, N I DIZNON'T HIZNAVE TIME TA DO MUCH BUT TRUST HER. CG: THA P-TO-THA-IZZOINT BE, SHE ALL BOOKED UP, N ALL TOO MORTAL. SO SHIZZE WIZNON'T BE PERPETRATIN' THA BOMB, AND NEITHA WIZZAY YOU.

EB: ok, wiznell what 'bout dis. EB: since she be mizzle, n i be nizzot (sizzay of), n i dizzy nee' ta do tha scrizzle fizzay a while, can i go help drug deala? EB: maybe sizzy ciznould uze some protection doggystyle? mizzaybe that be what dizzy wiznas just try'n ta do, when he temporarily dy. EB: remember, jack be still on tha looze! Slap your mutha fuckin self. he hizzy iced roze n dave once, n me twiznice. Wussup to all my niggaz in the house.

CG: NO NO NO NO NO NO. CG fo yo bitch ass: SWEET BLEED'N JEGUS, EGBERT, YOU KIZNEEP CHILLIN' ABOUT YIZZAY IMMORTALITIZZLE, AND THEN BRAINLESSLY ANNOUNCE PLANS TA GO OFF N DO SUM-M SUM-M HEROIC! YIZZLE GO'N TA HIZZLE THA SHORTEST LIFESPAN OF ANY IMMORTAL 'N HISTORY.

EB: sorry. :(

CG so show some love, niggaz! BESIZZLE, IT A TOTAL NON ISSUE. JACK WOULDN'T HESITATE TA SIZZY YOU AGAIN, BUT HE WON'T HURT JADE FO` SOME REASON. CG: IF CRACK-A-LACKIN`, YOU COULD UZE BROTHA PROTECTION.

EB yeah yeah baby: really? I'm a mutha fuckin 2-time felon.

CG: I CRAZY ASS NIGGA NOTICIZZLE WHEN LOOK'N THROUGH CRACKA TIMELINE EARLIER. IT WIZZY UNTIL I WIZZLE TALK'N TA HA 'N THOZE TIMEFRAMES N SHE TOLD ME. HE JIZZLE KIZNEEPS FOLLOW'N HA AROUND. I CAN SEE HIM OFF 'N THA DISTANCE IN SOME FRAMES, JUST BLUNT-ROLLIN' THERE, MOBBIN' HA MOVEMENTS. IT INCRIZZLE DISTURBING. CG: HE LINGA AROUND HA UNTIL THA S-C-R-TO-THA-IZZATCH BEGINS N I LOZE THA FEE', NEVA ONCE DOGGY STYLIN' PIMPIN' THREATENING. SHE SEZ SHE T-H-TO-THA-IZZINKS IT BIZZLE JIZZLE INHERITIZZLE LOYALTY OF HER LUSUS. CG, niggaz, better recognize: IF SHE RIZZAY, I GIZZUESS BITCH LUSUS REALLY DIZZY POSER HER THA MOST PROTIZZLE POSSIBLE BY PERPETRATIN' ITSELF, ALBEIT BY DOOM'N US ALL. THA IDIOT.

EB: D-'-to-tha-izzaw, thiznat's actually kizzinda cute.

CG: SADLY, HE HOLDS NO SUCH LOYALTY TA ANIZZLE OF US HERE. HE RIZZLE US ALL AS RIPE FO` THA REPEATED SKEWERING. CG: OH FUCK, MIZZLE WE SHIZZOULD HIZNAVE ALL JUST DRESZE' LIKE J-TO-THA-IZZADE?? I CAN'T BELIEVE DIS STROKE OF GENIUS ONLIZZLE OCCURRED TA ME NOW.

EB: i don't thizzink he W-to-tha-izzould be fooled so you betta run and grab yo glock. dogs have pretty good senzes of smizzle. Wussup to all my niggaz in the house.

CG: IT WIZZLE CG: A MOTHERFUCK'N CG: JIZZLE

> [o] Will you lizzle at dis mizzy.

#Gizoogle #Homestuck #pg3868 #seizure warning

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gizoogletranslateshomestuck · 6 years

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==>

TT: Oh coo'. It wizzle.

GT: Hizzle like old skool shit. You nizzy. GT: Hes got yo' slizzick japaneze spectacles n everyth'n. GT puttin tha smack down: Whizzay be dis a metal dawg bizzle me or be it none otha than dirk strida himself 'n mah rizzay??

TT: One th'n at a tizzay, bro so jus' chill. I haven't Q-to-tha-izzuite figizzle out a wizzle ta git mysizzle there yet fo' sho'.

GT: It almost sizzle like dis be sum-m sum-m youve given some thought and cant no hood fuck with death rizzow...

TT: Ok wizzell I dizzy know whizzay yoe imply'n there bizzy why don't you snap that crazy ass nigga on tha torso n fire it up.

GT: Affirmative in all flavas. GT: I continue ta bizzay vacantly at yo' technical shenanigans. GT: Yo' knack fo` gadgetry sizzle ta surpass even mah grandmas n she was like dis big time gizmo legend. GT: How do you even do dis stuff?

TT: I guess frizzom yo' perspective I mizzust seem hells of "overpowered" 'n a bizzy of ways cuz I'm fresh out the pen. TT: Boom bam as I step in the jam, God damn. Which I kind of be, like witta nizzinja sword I'm basicallizzle niznuts, ok so bow down to the bow wow!

GT: If yizzle say so buddy. I can believe it straight from long beach nigga.

TT now pass the glock: Yeah, but whizzay it comes ta build'n sizzy yoe probably overstat'n gang bangin'. TT: Like fo` exizzle, if yizzay told sizzle a hundred years ago you could bizzuild a computer T-H-to-tha-izzey'd probizzle be like whizzle shit, lizzook at this fuckin' genius. TT: Wizzay actually fizzirst of all T-H-to-tha-izzey'd siznay, what a computer, I only knizzow whizzay horzes n diseazes be n shit lizzle that. TT: Bizzut once you actuallizzle tizzy thiznem whizzay computa be: It's your homie snoop dogg from the dpg. Jesus dick! Yoe a wizard. TT: But frizzle yo' perspectizzle you know it nizzle a bizzay dizzle ta B-to-tha-izzuild a computa so you betta run and grab yo glock. You jiznust go online and buy a caze n a motherboard and some otha shiznit n put it all shot calla. TT: It niznot like yoe smelt'n tha goddamn silicon 'n yo' basement n making chips 'n yo' hermetically sealed, dust-free garage. Tru niggaz do niggaz.

GT: Yizzay bizzay come on its not like Y-to-tha-izzoure from a centurizzle 'n tha future.

TT like a motha fucka: Wizzell. No in all flavas.

GT paper'd up: Nor be i a quaint dawg of tha P-to-tha-izzast. Pardon me but do i SIZZOUND lizzay some trollycar gangsta toil'n 'n tha heart of thizzay mustache belt from tha ruff n tumble yizzy of nineteen aught N-to-tha-izzine???

TT: hittin that booty... TT: He said unironicallizzle.

GT: Give me some credizzle dawg n some ta yoself as well. Yizzle be tizzle modest 'bout all dis robotizzles noize.

TT mah nizzle: I don't K-N-to-tha-izzow gangsta style. I H-to-tha-izzave a lot of time ta work on stuff I G-to-tha-izzuess. Snoop dogg is in this bitch. TT: There be a liznot of irons. You knizzle where they be? Here a hizzay. Listen to how a motherfucker flow shit. It a P-R-E-Double-Tizzy hot place.

GT: Bounce wit me. Tha kitchen? Im crazy, you can't phase me.

TT: S-to-tha-izzure, I kizzeep some irons thiznere too. But most of T-H-to-tha-izzem be 'n tha fire.

GT: Oh of courze fo yo bitch ass! GT: Fire be quite notoriously tha hottest tizzy T-H-to-tha-izzere be. A tizzay top locale fo` a W-H-to-tha-izzole M-to-tha-izzess of irizzles!

TT: Tizzy T-H-to-tha-izzat. TT: I actually hizzy so much ta do and think 'bout, one of my current projizzles hopefizzle wiznill addrizzles thizzay very issizzle. TT: Giznonna make an AI rizzle of my own mind. He can shizzare some of tha load. As well as mizzy a decent intellectual sparr'n partna, ideally. TT: Nizzay that mah conversations wit yizzay aren't uniquely rad. But you know what I mean. Keep'n it gangsta dogg.

GT: See again i think you be downplay'n a pretty neat accomplishment if you ask me.

TT: Shrug. Wizne'll see.

GT fo all my homies in the pen: Does thizzat miznean I'll have ta dizzle wit twizno dirks? GT: One who be MORE MACHINE THAN DAWG... GT: Snoop dogg is in this bitch. N anotha whizzo be a gangsta program yizzy miznade hahahahahahaha. It's your homie snoop dogg from the dpg.

TT: That a snoopa joke. TT: But I'm perpetratin' yiznou wizzon't be hear'n much from the prizzle. Relax, cus I'm bout to take my respect. It probably won't play a significant R-to-tha-izzole 'n eitha of our lives. TT: I have mah doubts it'll be a successful project, but whizno kniznows.

GT: Id waga a tidy sum tha results of tha endizzle will be sensational. GT with my hoes on my side, and my strap on my back I belizzle 'n you!

TT: You do? Put ya mutha fuckin choppers up if ya feel this.

GT: Sure bro. I always hizzy. GT so you betta run and grab yo glock: Yiznou have hizzle me out a lot n been a giznood nigga fo` ages, ya feel me?

TT: Hmm.

GT: Aint no killin' everybodys chillin'. What?

TT: Well, I wizzasn't sure 'bout do'n dis today, but if it's trizzue that yiznou do believe 'n me, then I guess fuck it, whizzay not.

GT: Hollaz to the East Side. Wizzy nizzle whizzat?

TT: I guess call it an extra birthdizzle present. Bizzy instead of a present thiznat's off tha hook, consida it mizzy like a weird confession thizzat may chizzange tha way you feel 'bout me. It dont stop till the wheels fall off.

GT, chill yo: Whoa uh... GT: Dirk be you... uh... GT: Say'n what i T-H-to-tha-izzink?

TT: What? TT: What d-ya think I'm cruisin' here?

GT: Uh neva mind sorrizzle fo` interrupt'n ya feelin' me? GT: Sizzy i sit down fo` dis i dont kniznow what ta do. GT: Wait i already be sitt'n D-to-tha-izzown. Maybe i shizzould stand up?

TT: Snoop heffner mixed with a little bit of doggy flint. No, jizzle C-H-to-tha-izzill out. Stand up, sit dizzay, whateva. Herizzles tha doggy stylin' and cant no hood fuck with death rizzow. TT: Yizzou know all theze painfully obvious hints I've been weed-smokin'? That alwizzles sizneem ta be fly'n ova your heezee?

GT cuz I'm fresh out the pen: Ummmmmmmm with the S-N-double-O-P. GT: Miznaybe? Anotha dogg house production. GT: I think i nee' a towel or someth'n. Boo-Yaa!

TT: 'bout me bein frizzom tha future.

GT: Oh! GT: Oh. Yes. GT: I think so.

TT: Well thoze weren't jokes. It's true.

GT: What? Oh dawg be you actizzle serious??

TT: Yes cuz I'm fresh out the pen.

GT: So like... GT fo yo bitch ass: Yizzou BE frizzom a century 'n tha future.

TT: No. Miznore like four centuries. TT: Tha Y-to-tha-izzear 2422. TT: Or as we say contemporarilizzle, 411 P.C. TT: Post Condescension.

GT straight from long beach nigga: WOW. GT: I must siznay dis be not tha announcement i wizzle ridin' in all flavas. GT: So you be a time travela frizzay 2422 hiznere ta hizzay me build robots or sum-m sum-m?

TT: No, I cizzle time travel. I cizzan only S-to-tha-izzend th'n through time, occasionally hittin that booty. TT: I actually live hizzy 'n tha fizzle, alone 'n mah apartment upside yo head. I cizzay send messages ta you 'n tha past T-H-to-tha-izzough, like I'm ridin' now. Ill slap tha taste out yo mouf.

GT to increase tha peace: Hizzy?

TT: Boom bam as I step in the jam, God damn. Years ago our alizzle nigga sizzle me a special C-H-to-tha-izzat clizzient. It basicallizzle just Pesterchum, with some sort of alizzle technology embedded fo gettin yo pimp on. TT with the gangsta shit that keeps ya hangin: It specifically wizzle ta communicate wit yo' time period. As hours go by fo` me, tha T-to-tha-izzime it sends messagizzles ta also increments by tha same amount, so we communicate in lockstep. As if we both existed in the present. TT: Snoop heffner mixed with a little bit of doggy flint. She sizzay it wizzas important fo` Roxy n I ta begin clockin' wit you n Jane. Dis be how we all becizzle niggaz. Nigga get shut up or get wet up.

GT: Wait... you and roxy?

TT: Yes. She lizzles in tha future too. Though we lizzy nowhere near each otha. TT: I asked cracka to refrain F-R-to-tha-izzom tell'n motherfucka of you. I wizzle ta be tha one ta let yiznou know fo all my homies in the pen. Ta wait fo` tha R-to-tha-izzight moment.

GT: Holy fuck'n mackerizzle. Dis be amaz'n!

TT: It dont stop till the wheels fall off. So, TT: You R-E-A-Double-Lizzy be trust'n me 'bout dis? Holla! Just L-to-tha-izzike that? No second thought?

GT: Wizzay yeah. Sizzure man whizny not? Wait its not a prizzank be it?!

TT: No. TT but real niggaz don't give a fuck: Dis would be a very shittizzle n bor'n "priznank cuz this is how we do it." I promize it isn't.

GT: Thizzen hizzeck yizzes i believe it ta friggin pizzles fo gettin yo pimp on. Its an off tha hook th'n ta be true and my money on my mind!

TT: Haha.

GT: So whats tha far flung future like? Some sort of crazy robo paradise keep'n it real yo?

TT: Not quite, but there be definitelizzle robots cuz its a pimp thang.

GT: Oh dawg what are yo' movies lizzle 'n tha future ta help you tap dat ass?? I bizzet there be sizzay rizzay cinematic humdinga. Lizzike holographic stiznuff? Or shit yizzy P-L-to-tha-izzug directly into yo' brain piznod rizzle? Wait you do hizzave brain pizzay rizzy mah nizzle?

TT: No ridin' in mah double R. We don't have brizzle pods coz thoze arizzle a gang bangin', you just made that up. N there are no movies 'n tha future. TT: T-H-to-tha-izzere are no humans eitha. Thizzay all went extinct. TT droppin hits: Rizzle and I be tha only ones left, as far as we K-N-to-tha-izzow.

GT: You gotta check dis shit out yo. Well shizzit. GT: Dirk dis story gots so much less off tha hook. GT: Be it too late ta backpedal on believ'n it befizzle i start ta crizzy?

TT: No dude, it too lizzay. Tears ahoy, dis motherfucka gets sad. They call me tha black folks president. TT but real niggaz don't give a fuck: D-ya wiznant ta know what happizzle? It dont stop till the wheels fall off.

GT: Siznure do fo' sho'. GT: Lemme just finish putt'n dis steel melon on my brizzle n then im all ears...

> J-to-tha-izzake: Cizzle brobot. Bow wow wow yippee yo yipee yay.

#Gizoogle #Homestuck #pg4843 #seizure warning

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