Jutta Leerdam 🇳🇱
2023 World Single Distances Championships (Heerenveen)
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Lil writing inspired by these image of Michael Fucking Holden
Tw!!intrusive thoughts
I stare at the ice beneath my skates. I am unsure for how long I've been skating in circles for but it's oddly comforting.
Loosing is something I am not a fan of which is clear by the embarrassing childish way I'd ripped paper to shreds infront of Tori Spring. Tori Spring. Tori Spring a magical, pessimistic, self hating, depressed, sunshine of a person.
I feel my face get hot with anger at myself. My anger boils over me, and, I think how shameful and annoying it is that the ice won't act like a mirror and reflect myself to my eyes like it does in animated movies. I'd like to see my red angered face. I'd like to see the hatred in my eyes behind my large glasses and messy hair that I haven't even bothered to clean up today. I had been lazy enough to not gell down my hair. So fucking lazy.
I wonder what, just like in the movies, if there's water underneath the ice inside the roller rink. If I stomp right now as hard as I possibly can, will the thin layer that is holding me up and together break?
So I stomp.
I stomp and stomp.
Stomp.
Stomp.
Stomp.
I must look rather peculiar but there's not a doubt in my mind that if I do stop stomping then I'd break apart and tear to shreds the skating ring bit by bit.
My coat that kept me warm throughout my inside childish tantrum is starting to bug me and so is my jeans and my annoyingly plain shirt. Maybe when I stop stomping, when my brain registers that I won't fall through, I'll go buy a shirt that's not plain.
My stomping ceases even though my brain still hasn't accepted I won't fall through instead it's made a scenario. I stomp one more time and I fall through I fall into an endless abyss of cold dark water that's filling my lungs. It grabs me, its dark arms around my stomach, and begins to tug me down like an achor. My breaths gurgle out in fish bubbles that float to the Michael Holden shaped hole in the ice roof. My back hits the bottom and I kick and kick but to not avail. I'm stuck. I'm drowning. I'm dead.
My brain is rather poetic sadly rhe words that do come out of my mouth don't match. Imagine if I was Shakespeare. I could make the best mother fucking plays and leave DiCaprio quaking in his boots.
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www.tumblr.com/blog/ai-erotic-girls/
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Jutta Leerdam 🇳🇱
2023 World Single Distances Speed Skating Championships (Heerenveen)
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Relay event, Roller Speed Skating World Championships 2013. Bart Swings, Jore Van den Berghe and Tim Sibiet of Belgium.
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Jutta Leerdam 🇳🇱
2022-23 ISU Speed Skating World Cup (Heerenveen)
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