What was the point of Speed Metal then?!?
Speed Metal was amazing. The Flash fam, who have been hyped up as being vital to the Death Metal ‘crisis’, risked their lives to retrieve the Mobius chair. Speed Metal was a masterpiece, it was spectacular. Jay, Barry, Wally, Wallace, all of the Flash fam in perfect characterization and a great plot.
None of that matters!!!!
The Flashes have been hyped up since day one as being vital to this crisis. Speed Metal was an amazing issue specifically about HOW and WHY they were vital to this crisis!
And now you’re telling me that it was all for nothing??? Because Batman 'pLanNeD FOr thEM tO sTEaL tHe ChAir aNd REdiReCT pOwER tO iT’.
That makes the Flash fam risking their life to steal the chair in Speed Metal completely irrelevant and makes Speed Metal itself (which was an amazing issue) completely redundant and unnecessary!
And now the Flashes have been hyped up for no reason! They aren’t relevant to the plot anymore after all the bs they went through????
What was the point DC?!?!
As a Geographer and knowing knowledge about meteorology I would just like to share that:
If speedsters can run on water they sure as hell can run on clouds as well. I’m talking like nimbostratus clouds or even cumulus clouds. I mean probably cumulonimbus as well but those are really high in the atmosphere.
Anyways if you don’t think that Bart would convince Kon to fly him up in the sky so he can try running on clouds you’re so very wrong my friends. Getting up is the easy part - getting down without Kon…
+ bonus: freaking people out that there’s lightening but no thunder and no rain.
That is all
Like these mofos ^^
at a JL meeting
Diana: because of the severity of this mission I feel that we must be honest with each other
Hal Jordan: i’ve not convinced i’ve learned how to read i’ve just memorised a bunch of words
Barry: me and Bart watching My Little Pony unironically every tuesday night
Clark: I’m not entirely convinced sharks are real
Diana: Boys, that not what I meant-
Arthur: WHAT DO YOU MEAN SHARKS AREN’T REAL?
Wally, come get your daughter, she’s scared
Don’t mind me, I’m just emotionally devastated…
(dead flashes aka her family 💔)
(yelling at her to slow down so she doesn’t get sucked into the speedforce 😭)
Red, Yellow or Blue…. Wally West looks good
Wally sacrifices himself (again) and is stuck in the speedforce (again) but not to worry! He’s immediately found by his lightning rods, his family!
Thank goodness for Bart! That lil rascal saw the beginnings of another crisis and said ‘Not again, DC!’ He pulled his family into the speedforce where they’d be safe from the crisis and the inevitable reboot!
Bart was like… “Potentially lose Max and the rest of the Flash Fam in a reboot?!? I think the fuck not, try and get us in here DC!”
(also Kid Flash has the same idea, wait out the crisis in the speedforce…. Smart kids)
Now unfortunately Jay Barry and Wally have to go be heroes….. Dang it
I’m hoping the old 'a flash must die in every crisis’ rule gets broken this time
Don’t kill them dc
Don’t make me fight you!!!
Okay my thoughts on Speed Metal are numerous so this will be multiple posts….
Wally is back
My boi has a plan: being epic
See this is why is pays to hang out with Jesse Quick, you learn neat stuff like the speedforce formula.
So the Flash Fam is cornered on all side by evil Flashes and the speedforce is quickly running out, luckily Wally gave em a few moments to make a plan when he stopped time….
Barry isn’t thrilled
(jay for the win)
BUT HAVE NO FEAR! WALLY HAS A PLAN!
It’s big brain time people
Barry is once again not thrilled
And then we have the most beautiful collection of comic book panels ever made:
Barry and Wally’s heart to heart
Now they’re all set! They have a plan!
They have no braincells
God I love them
Wallace West, aka Wally 2: Electric Boogaloo, is an entire mood in Death Metal: Speed Metal
First he shows up late with Starbucks with no clue what was happening (same honestly)
God I love him, he’s thrown into this weird Death Metal universe and is so freaked out by everything
He’s also just completely done with Wally and Barry’s drama
The Flash fam collectively has one braincell and it is owned by Jay Garrick…. (mostly)
Then he gets a 90’s style costume and is. Not. A. Fan.
Wally doesn’t want to be involved with this whole crisis mess.
He took one look and was like ????? No thanks
He’s so relatable, I love him
Jay Garrick is the Flash Dad. He is The Father of Flashes. The Flash Father.
I don’t make the rules.
I owe Jay my life
Jay says “Barry go be a parent and apologize to Wally”
Barry says “Jay we aren’t gonna just leave you, tf”
So I was about to be mad that they had LITERALLY EVERY SPEEDSTER EVER… but no Wally
But then… Whoop there he is
And Eobard is scared, guys
What other superpowers go in pairs, either obviously or subtly? The ability to run at mach 10 has to come with the ability to survive it – the wind and the bugs and the friction would destroy a regular person. Immortality really should come with teleporting, in case of accidental entrapment for all of time.
That’s a valid opinion that I’m going to ignore
Real talk tho…
Shouldn’t speedsters make some sort of noise from vibrating? Isn’t that what sound is?