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#spider son
Tony seeing Peter enter the washroom: Heads up, they're out of toilet paper.
Peter: It's okay, I just came in here to cry.
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Category - Low Stats
This one is a new category as suggested by a voter for the 2021 awards.
THE DIAMOND IN THE ROUGH — We have all read a story, marveled at it, and then glanced at the stats only for our mouths to drop open in shock. Some stories don’t get the love they deserve. What’s the story in the low stats — ??? — that you want us to showcase?
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Art by @superherotiger​
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lesbian-deadpool · 7 months ago
Steve: Have you guys seen Y/N and Peter? They still have chores to do.
Tony: No, haven’t seen them since the storm started.
Steve: Since the sto-? Y/N, NO!
Y/N, standing in the middle of a thunderstorm, with Steve’s shield raised high: STRIKE ME DOWN ZEUS, YOU DON’T HAVE THE BALLS!
Tony: What the fu-?
Tony: Wait. Where’s Peter?
Peter: *Making mud-angels*
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stuckonylove · 6 months ago
Peter: So tonight I was thinking we could stay up late playing checkers and say all the things we like about each other
Kidnapper, crying: Stark paid the ransom 3 days ago, please go home
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lazy-cat-corner · a month ago
Peter: [pinned down by Venom]
Venom: We got you! Now we can keep you. 😁
Peter: K-keep?
Eddie: Venom, we’re not keeping the kid. We’re collecting a bounty.
Venom: What?!? Then why did we take this adoption flyer?
Eddie: [sigh] Those are wanted posters.
Venom: I knew there was a reason why I liked him!
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white-wolf-buck · 2 months ago
Pepper, about Peter: I still think he looks like someone's child, maybe we should put up posters
Tony: Yes, it should have a big picture of him and the words "Is this your child? Not anymore."
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mickis16 · 2 months ago
Peter: ARE YOU-
Loki: Fucking.
Loki: Fucking.
Peter: IDIOT-
Stephen: ...what was that?
Loki: Stark banned the child from swearing, so I've volunteered to help him out :)
Stephen: ... I approve! :)
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Peter: School is so competitive.
Tony: I understand ki-
Peter: -You can't even be depressed anymore without someone trying to one up you by being more depressed
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silvery-luna · 3 months ago
Stephen: We're beyond you calling me sir
Peter: ok...Dad
Stephen: That feels weird but I'll allow it
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Category - In-Progress Adventure
THE IN-PROGRESS ADVENTURE — What’s the story that has you checking your email each day, hoping for an update?
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The 2021 Winner was If You're Going Through Hell, Keep On Going by  @baloobird​. Runner-Up was Peter's Hitchhiking Guide To The Time Heist by Randomsketchez
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Art by @superherotiger​ and @monireh89​
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skiplo-wave · 3 months ago
Stephen: you don’t have call me sir anymore
Peter: Okay dad
Stephen: I-
Ghost Tony pulling up: oH SO YOU CAN CALL HIM DAD BUT NOT ME!?
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tonythefuturist · 10 months ago
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"i just wanted to be like you"
"and i wanted you to be better"
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lesbian-deadpool · 3 months ago
Steve: Be careful going out of the house this morning. It’s ass-eating season.
Natasha: ... Steve, do you know what “ass-eating season” means?
Steve: Yeah, there’s ice and snow, so it’s all slippery out there. You could fall and eat ass.
Y/N: Who taught you that?
Steve: Peter...
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bisexual-chupacabra · 4 months ago
Would you hit your sibling for a billion dollars?
Nat: Yelena hit me! If I hit you back quick enough we'll have two billion dollars!
Yelena: Nat that's genius! [punches Nat in the face and then runs]
Morgan: [Crying as she holds Peter by the arms]
Y/N: [trying to punch Peter] STOP. MOVING. ALREADY. LET IT BE QUICK!
Peter: [Screaming]
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[after Peter goes missing]
Tony: I'm not good at best-case scenarios when I'm worried. Currently, my best-case scenario is that he died a painless death.
Bucky: Or you know. Him not being dead.
Tony: In a coma then.
Bucky: Or you know. Being well.
Tony: Being in a coma doesn't necessarily mean that he's unwell.
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Tony: Oh sorry, I'm busy this weekend, I'm going to Peter's lightning party
Steve: What's a "lightning party"?
Tony: It's celebrating one year since Peter's been hit by lightning.
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