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Get In, Get Out, Get Even // a spideychelle!The Italian Job AU

His eyes flick down to check the contents of the envelope.

“This is a ticket,” he says.

“That so?” MJ sips her seltzer.

“To LA,” Peter deadpans, reading. “For tomorrow morning.”

“Isn’t that convenient,” MJ says. “I’m heading to LA tomorrow too.”

Peter closes the envelope, tapping the narrow end of it on the table. When he looks back at MJ, his expression is the closest to open it’s been all night. “Why won’t you leave me out of this?”

She doesn’t have time to unpack the years of guilt leading up to this.

Or explain the flutter in her chest when he laughed, easy, like summer.

So she traces a droplet down the side of her glass, figuring candor deserves candor. “May wasn’t just a mentor, she’s the closest thing I had to family. I wish… more than anything, anything, that I could bring her back…but I can’t. The best I can do is–”


Ah, his date.

They both look at her, the wet splotch on her dress, suspicion on her face, and Peter’s expression shutters again.

“Susan, hi,” Peter says, and MJ isn’t sure what it means that his voice sounds a little different, talking to her. “This is Michelle, she’s a, uh, family friend. We just bumped into each other.”

MJ stands, the date’s eyes widen as MJ keeps standing, her heels putting her near six feet. “That’s me,” she smiles, “ Michelle. On my way out.”

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Originally posted by starkissedtom

Enjoy this fluffy fic I forgot I had in my drafts!

Plot: Peter is having a hard time in college, and a visit from his favourite girl is just what he needs

The sun was bright in the sky, one of those rare days in early November where you still could wear only a thin jacket. Life was buzzing around you; students that were leaving their classes, teachers that were almost running to their cars, and the occasional reunion that made you smile even wider. Because you had your own waiting for you, somewhere between the entrance and the huge building of MIT.

You tried to stretch your head as much as you could to search for the curly haired boy that you wanted to surprise. He wasn’t that hard to find; Peter had grown that summer a few inches, and his shoulders were bulkier than before. But Friday seemed to be the chosen day to create as much noise as the students could, so between shoves and uncomfortable crowds, you were finding it hard to see him.

Someone behind you whispered your name in what they thought were discreet words, but you heard the giggles and the laughs. It was hard to miss them, when it happened a few times while you skipped the students in your way to find Peter. You felt the uncomfortable itch that they always gave you, and that in the last few months had turned into the horrible grief that you were still carrying. Knowing that you wouldn’t like to find any articles about Y/N Stark lashing out on some students, you pulled the bag closer to your body and lowered your head.

You had to bear with a few more pushes until finally you collided with one that was too familiar. Looking up, you met Peter’s warm eyes and his cheeky smile.

“Hey Stark” Peter whispered, but you could hear him perfectly. “Didn’t take you for one of public places”

Keep reading

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JOOR Chapters 5-8 in John Mulaney Quotes:

Using characters and plot from @hey-marlie’s series “Just Out Of Reach”. Go check it out if you haven’t.

Here <- first part

Peter at literally any point in time:


The story @ Jason, abused by Peter on one hand, and being rejected by Thandie on the other:


Y/n, willing to overlook Peter being such an asshole all the time to everybody when no one else will:


Peter and y/n discussing their history with Harry:


When everyone’s dads are either dead or assholes:


Peter, when Lazlo told him he needed to drink more water:


Lazlo barely being phased at all after learning Peter is Spiderman:


Y/n telling Vulture that Liz doesn’t go by his last name anymore and getting yeeted through a window seconds later:


Peter: I’ve never had sex with-



And lastly, not a John Mulaney quote, but my overall mood at how much of a bitch Felicia is:

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JOOR Chapters 1-4 In John Mulaney Quotes

Using characters and plot from @hey-marlie’s series “Just Out Of Reach”. Go check it out if you haven’t.

Here <- second post

Peter’s entire sexual history explained:


Peter: I like cupcakes



MJ and Ned not putting up with Peter’s broody crap and making him go places against his will:


Tony, at Peter literally in any situation:


Jason: *exists*

Peter, wrench in hand:


Thandie putting Peter in his place and telling him to stop playing games with y/n:


Every time y/n expects genuine emotions from Peter and is surprised when he doesn’t give any:


Peter being the literal textbook definition of a tired tall child:


The JOOR groupchat whenever Marlie hints towards more angst in the story:


Everyone @ y/n for being able to carry a conversation with Peter:

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My other Spider-Man AU! I always liked the MJ as Black Cat fics but I like Felicia too so I just thought porque no los dos? Thus Felicia as Black Cat and MJ as Black Dahlia as an anti-hero duo. In it Felicia and MJ are childhood friends so think super rich kids with too much time, intelligence, and money growing up. Felicia is just like kinda kleptomanic and thinks of what they do as glorified shop-lifting. MJ is more Robin Hood in her intent but she has no strong morals against Felicia’s sticky fingers. MJ’s growing interest and proficiency in hactivism and Felicia’s ability to liberate bigger and pricier things from their proper place prompt the girls to create a little side operation. The WIP title comes from them when they decide they’re gonna assume alter-egos

“We should call ourselves something like Double Trouble,” Felicia practically bounces in place.

“You are NOT about to make us sound like fucking Team Rocket.”

I posted longer excerpts for the others so I’ll throw this one in too:

“Oooo, spill,” Felicia hissed as she sidled up to MJ’s side in the crowded hallway.

“I dunno what you’re talking about.”

“Peter Parker has caught your attention and I want to know why. What’s he got that’s piqued your interest?”

MJ cocked her head to the side and squinted at the boy. “I won’t tell you.”


“Because you aren’t the only Extra™️ one in this duo. I have a plan.”

The clacking probably wouldn’t have even caught anyone else’s attention. But it was rhythmic and constant. Peter peaked out of the corner of his eyes to see MJ typing away on her laptop in the very back corner of the classroom. It was clear to him she wasn’t taking notes, she hadn’t looked up once and really seemed to be in a whole other world of concentration. Her nimble fingers didn’t pause and every now and then he could hear her mutter an insult or a jeer.

“C’mon, asshole.”

A snort. “Is that all?”

“Oh that’s how we’re playing it?”

“Bitch, bitch, biiiitch.”

Then a self-satisfied smirk as the soft clacking finally stopped. He would have thought she was just in a boss level of an online game if she didn’t utter the next words.

“Alright, SHIELD, let’s see what we can see…”

He barely caught himself from whipping around to look at her in shock. And little did he know, MJ caught the aborted motion. She smirked deeper.

The rest of the day he paid even more attention to MJ. And from what he could gather, MJ was going to… sell this information? Whatever she had found. He even managed to glean where she was meeting up with whoever this buyer was. It was an out of the way, super dodgy place that wasn’t close to his normal route but he knew exactly where he’d be 8:30 this evening.

Thanks for asking @spideysmjs !😁✨

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AU where Peter finds out Mj has a crush on Liz too! Here’s some of it:

“So like what should I say to her? Like what should my approach be?” Peter asks.

MJ hmmms as she settles back on his top bunk. “Could go the Darcy way, awkwardly making advances until you flop then turn around and completely nail it. Or you could do it the Parker way: just as awkward, but maybe not have your foot in your mouth half as much. You are pretty cute and polite in the first place so it can’t go as badly.”

“Aww MJ you think I’m cute?”

“No, I know you’re cute. It’s an objective fact.”

Peter purses his lips against a flattered smile. It’s far from the first time MJ has called him cute, not even the first time this week. But every time it still makes Peter feel warm.

A good, friendly warmth.



But he couldn’t completely throw the feeling away so he asked, “So what would the Jones way be?”

MJ gave a soft smirk as she looked down at her hands. “I don’t know. It’d probably surprise me too. Either it’ll be hesitant and slow, a result of me observing her likes and dislikes from afar. Then giving her casual but sincere compliments like they were nothing. ‘It really suits you when you wear your hair back.’ ‘Do you always smile like you swallow the stars for breakfast?’ ‘Your confidence is admirable.’ ‘You’re an inspiring leader.’ Ahem, y’know for example. Or maybe I’d just do something completely bold and ask her out right after AcDec practice,” MJ says with a coy smile.

Peter’s heart feels…. not ok. It’s kinda like the feeling when MJ calls him cute or backhand compliments his intelligence or ruffles his hair. Only distinctly NOT like that feeling because the warmth is nowhere. Nowhere in his entire body. Just the squeeze of his chest with no accompanying lightness to bathe it in.

Because MJ is talking and looking a whole lot like she’s in love with Liz.

And that’s even more not ok than the tightness in his ribcage.

Thanks for asking @thorkyriebabes !✨

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Summary: You find out Peter was a part of the snap. 

A/N: this has been in my drafts for a bit and I’ve been scared to post it. It’s my first time writing for Peter… so be gentle. I hope you guys enjoy! xx 

Tag list is at the end. Let me know if you want to be added xx



** Rules for Requesting **

** Who I Write For **

********************************************************************************************NOT MY GIF, CREDIT TO OWNERS


Originally posted by parkeret

You’d met Peter on one of the days he’d come to the avengers tower with Tony. He was quirky and awkward and of course your age. After he met you, he found reasons to come by the tower, whether it was to just see Tony (half the time he wasn’t there), or he’d leave his things around to purposely come back the next day. The Avengers weren’t stupid and they knew why Peter was around more and more. They would tease the two of you until finally you realized shy and awkward Peter was not going to ask you out, so you took it upon yourself to ask him out. The rest was history. 

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Love is a War – Chapter 1
Peter Parker x Pregnant!Stark Reader

Summary: you’re pregnant and you need to tell your family and Peter.

Warnings: violence, injuries, swearing, snap does not happen

Keep reading

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The Spidey Squad Playing Among Us



Welp, this game is all the rave all of a sudden and irdk how since the game’s pretty much been here forever lol but it’s still fun so I had to jump on the bandwagon and here we are! Make sure you check go out @chaoticpete’s new fic. Anyways here it is! If this gets enough likes I might do an avengers headcanon too.

Thanks to @angelsparkers for helping me realize I wasn’t writing complete garbage and helping me to get through it even though she didn’t even know she was doing that. So yeah thanks for that.


Originally posted by eatingatdorsia


Crewmate: Peter is that crewmate that will 100% call you out on your bs, because he knows the game a little too well for you to be able to pull anything over him(because of all that free time waiting on patrol). You think all that stuff with the avengers didn’t teach him strategy? Ha! This guy is PEAK detective. Gets his tasks done fast and when he’s done is probably spending his time monitoring people on security or vitals. It only took him like 2 weeks to memorize all the maps and where everything is, so if you say you were in navigation, you better believe he’s gonna ask you what task you were doing there. And if you don’t answer to his liking, Peter will sound the “sus” alarm on you in two point five seconds and have everyone voting you out. He’s probably the only person that could figure out MJ when she’s the impostor. So if you’re the impostor, watch your words and make sure your alibis are strong cuz little Petey ain’t playin’ no games. Definitely gets attacked from time to time by those people that are always like “sMaRt PpL rUiN tHe GaMe”

Impostor: He’s pretty much the most average impostor. Sometimes he doesn’t know what to say when people call him sus and he’ll get voted out because he’s being “too quiet” or because Ned keeps defending him. He’ll mess up every now and then but for the most part, he’s pretty decent. His style is usually to stay in the vents most of the game and kill when only one person’s around. He probably bribes Ned to not rat him out by promising him that he won’t kill him.

Name: It used to be just Peter, but soon he wanted an actual cool name so he chose Sherlock because of all the times when he was “too smart” and won the game too quickly and people would go “pack it up Sherlock” and vote him out.

Favorite color to be: It used to be red, but he quickly found that the more he was red the more people found him “sus” so now he’s usually either blue or cyan


Originally posted by superzeroic


Crewmate: Pretty average crewmate. 80% of the time is covering for Peter, even if Peter is the impostor. Won’t do much calling people out unless he’s absolutely sure that he saw a kill or vent. Pretty chill and easily persuadable. You’d definitely want him on your team. If he ever gets wrongfully ejected he’s the one that pitifully tries to plead his case saying stuff like “what???” and “guys it’s not me!!!!” which doesn’t really convince anyone and just makes him look more guilty. He’ll still do his tasks after though.

Impostor: He’s the impostor that doesn’t want to be the impostor. If you’re texting then maybe he can hold his own, but if you’re doing voice chats, there’s no way this guy is getting past ANYONE. He has so many tells that it’s ridiculous. Is actually scared to vent too much because he’s always paranoid that someone’s gonna be right there when he jumps out. 8/10 the crewmates win when he’s the imposter because he’ll just kill like only two people the entire time or gets caught really early on.

Name: Probably some sci-fi reference like r2d2 or Potter

Favorite color to be: Yellow or white because he says those are the most “innocent” colors and he’ll be less likely to get voted if he’s those (not true but we’ll let him believe it)



Crewmate: Suspicion times 100. Her motto: trust no one. Will get you kicked out in a heartbeat with a quick “trust me. if it’s not them vote me next.” An absolute unit but will never be caught getting emotional over a game. If she’s ever wrongfully ejected her last words will be “whatever. go ahead. vote me and lose.” She’ll just come back in the next game with a vengeance and false accusations ready, not caring if the entire team loses because of it. She’s especially dangerous to have because people usually trust her word. She always finds a way to seem the least suspicious. Though sometimes she’ll get suspected because of her quiet nature. There’s always that one guy that’s ready to go “uR qUiEt ThAt’S sUs!!”

Impostor: If MJ is the impostor, you can just throw your whole phone away. You’re not winning that game. Like, ever. She will do whatever it takes to win, even sell out her own her partner. On the off chance that you catch her being suspicious, she’ll sabotage a bunch of things so that you can’t call meetings and then she’ll kill you when no one’s around. She is ruthless and will hurt your feelings with the way that she will own everyone in the game. Hardly anyone ever expects her. Thrives on venting. You won’t see her you’ll just be doing a task and suddenly you’ll be dead.

Name: Used to be just MJ but she got annoyed with all the people in the messages who always assumed she meant Michael Jackson or Michael Jordan so she changed it to Michelle

Favorite color to be: She literally doesn’t care either way. Won’t change the gameplay so why bother? Whatever color she ends up with she’ll be fine.


Originally posted by marvelgifs


Crewmate & Impostor: The most average player of them all. She wins some, she loses some. Nice partner to have though, because she’ll never give you away. Probably the first to die most times. If she ever gets wrongfully ejected she’s the one that uses her last words to say who she thinks it and doesn’t even try to plead her case once it starts to look bad for her. She just finished the rest of her tasks.

Name: Probably either her name or some nickname or inside joke. Idk she just seems like the type of person to have a reference to something that absolutely nobody knows

Favorite color to be: Pink. Just because she likes pink.



Crewmate: Claims things are sus even if they aren’t. Will totally be biased based on names. Anybody who knows him will never count him as a credible source. Gets voted out quickly alot because of how annoying he is in the game.

Impostor: He’s the easiest to figure out. He’s the impostor that obnoxiously accuses literally everyone else. And in all capital letters too. “ITS RED I STG. IF IT’S NOT HIM VOTE ME NEXT!” Calls everyone sus and always claims he’s seen people running from the body. He usually self-reports and goes for the easy marks in electrical. He’s not that good (even though he thinks he is) and it takes anyone with a brain to figure him out. Peter and MJ are bane of his existence in that game. If he gets wrongfully ejected he’ll rage and probably leave the game like the little crybaby he is.

Name: Spideys#1 because he’s really just THAT obsessed. Or when he’s really feeling “teenage boy” he’ll be cOchieman

Favorite color to be: Red because sPiDeRmAn’S hIs BeSt FrIeNd (ahahaha if only he knew)


Originally posted by marvelgifs


She didn’t know this game at all until Peter introduced her to it one day because he was bored. She LOVED it. He had to pry it out of her hands after she kept repeating “Hold on, one more!” So she downloaded on her phone and now she plays it whenever she’s bored.

Crewmate: Average. Same as Betty.

Impostor: The way May can actually dominate being the impostor is sort of scary. And she’d always be the last person you’d expect because she just has that trusting vibe about her. Sometimes she’ll mess up and give herself away, but for the most part, she’s pretty good. Doesn’t vent much. Just like Ned, she doesn’t trust it.

Name: Madonna

Favorite color to be: She doesn’t care much but she prefers to be purple, cyan, or orange


Funny Moment

《Peter calls an emergency meeting 10 seconds into the game》

- Michelle: what

- Betty: what

- Michelle: skip

- r2d2: bro already?

- Sherlock: okay everyone just listen

- k0chieman: bruh

- Michelle: okay listen to what

- Sherlock: flash what task are you doing

- Betty: alright were listening

- k0chieman: the divert thingy in navi

- r2d2: pete what is this

- Sherlock: yeah dude that diverty thingy is the second of two steps

- Sherlock: u never did the first

- Sherlock: which means ur an impostor faking

- Michelle: flash?

- k0chieman: no

- k0chieman: i did do it

- r2d2: the times low we gotta decide guys

- Sherlock: if you did it wouldve taken you 12-15 seconds to get there and were not that far in the game

- Sherlock: u cant already be doing it

- Sherlock: everybody vote flash

- r2d2: petes on x games mode

- Michelle: damn dude

- k0chieman: wtf parker

- Sherlock: bye dude

- Sherlock: worlds greatest detective strikes again

- Michelle: okay calm down pete

《couple seconds later》

.    。    •   ゚  。   .

   .      .     。   。 .  

.   。      ඞ 。 .    •     •

  ゚   Flash was An Impostor.  。 .

  '    1 Impostor remains     。

  ゚   .   . ,    .  .


Originally posted by lecattyart

Best Imposter Combos

Peter & Ned: Goes without saying. Nine times out of ten they’re in the same room while playing this so they can just talk strategy to each other and take everyone out really quickly. Really annoying for everybody else, but they’ll win so they’re happy.

MJ & Peter: These two together are a force to be reckoned with. The second they see that they’re both impostors they call each other up and get to business like they’re on a mission. This stuff is serious. (More for Peter than MJ. She has to keep telling him that it’s just a game.) He stays on security stuff, telling her when it’s safe, and she racks up the kills. When things get heavy, they sabotage and then go on a spree. These two hardly ever lose. (When the whole squad is together whoever’s in charge [if it’s not Pete or MJ] usually puts the kill cooldown at max just in case these two get that they can’t be at full power)

MJ & Betty: Betty isn’t afraid to sacrifice herself so that they’ll win and MJ is ruthless and quick with her kills. Both have the smarts to be able to be extremely persuasive and you’d hate for them to pick you to frame. Because being put against those two in the chatroom will lead you nowhere but abyss of space.

May & Peter: Parkers united. ‘Nough said.

Tagging: @spideyyeet, @soft-petey, @spidey-reids-2003, @spidey-boy-89, @sovereignparker, @bubblebucky, @underoosjae

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Love is a War – Prologue
Peter Parker x Pregnant!Stark Reader

Warnings: violence, injuries, swearing, the snap does not happen

All characters are over 18.

Tony had always been involved in your life from the moment you were born. His views on the world changed after you were born, his one purpose to protect you, whether that be from the aliens in the sky, or to the kids at school, no matter what, he would protect you. After what happened in the Afghan Cave, he wanted to spend more time with you and had negotiated with your mother that you would live with him. Your mother had been a simple woman, never one for riches but hard working. She never took any of the support money that Tony offered her, all she asked was that he was a constant in your life if he was to be involved. That meant no skipping birthdays or holidays for parties, no he had to spend them with you.

It had been a one-night stand that meant nothing to either party, they were both just happy to have a child. Your younger memories filled with their joyous faces and laughter. Tony was a great dad. When he became Iron Man, the story changed. He became distant with you, being only young he didn’t want to upset you or bring you to any harm. He kept you out of the spotlight after this, your face hidden from the magazines and newspapers. He sued anyone who tried to publish your face. If you ended up with the enemy it would kill him.

Around your 10th birthday your mother passed away. She had been caught up in one of the missions that Iron Man had been on. You remember the day so clearly, blowing out the candles on your cake with Pepper and Happy as your father was out, your mother on her way over. As the flame from the last candle diminished you caught sight of your father stood with a bloody face and tears in his eyes.

He spoke to Pepper outside of the room whilst you sat with Happy. A shriek could be heard coming from Peppers’ mouth. She could not believe what she was hearing, your mother dead, all because of your father. He told you the next day, wanting to spare your birthday from grief. Pepper adopted you not long after, they called it the just in case plan. If anything were to happen to Tony then you would be taken care of, there would be someone for you.

Over the years Pepper had become like a mother to you, taking you shopping, helping you through your first heartbreak and just generally being there for the girly things. She was your role model, always working hard to achieve. Pepper taught you not to forget your mother, that she was not there to replace her, but to carry her legacy on. The bond you shared with your family was one you would never, could never forget.

Peter on the other hand, his childhood had not been fantastic. His parents had died when he was young, leaving him in the care of his aunt and uncle. This was great for him, until his uncle passed away leaving just him and his aunt. He hated the world for how cruel it was to him. How could one person go through such grief in such a short space of their lifetime?

If that wasn’t enough, he was bullied at school. Flash always tormenting him, calling him names and even sometimes beating him up for fun. When he became Spider-Man he couldn’t just start defending himself, no that would seem too suspicious. He had to keep his identity a secret, it was the only way he got out of high school alive.

His Stark internship was one of the few things that kept him sane in high school when he wasn’t out being Spider-Man. The fact that he got to work with Tony Stark was everything that he could dream of, so when he offered him a full-time position after graduation Peter finally thought his life was moving in the right direction. His dreams were coming true, well his good dreams, not his nightmares. No, his nightmares were in the past, of past events. Of times when he maybe should have died but didn’t, except in his nightmares he really does die.

The first time Peter stayed for dinner he only met Pepper. She reminded him of his aunt which made him feel even more at home than he already did. Things changed when he met you at 17. The girl who was in some of his classes but whose last name was not Stark. When you explained at dinner that it was your mothers’ name that you used it made sense to him, the media never published anything about Tony Stark having a child.

You both were infatuated with one another.

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Prompt #1: “No, come back!”
Fandom: Spider-Man (MCU)
Rating: G
Warnings: None
Words: 458 

Peter swings to the top of a building on the outskirts of Queens and removes his mask, trying and failing to take deep and even breaths. 

After dropping MJ off safely, he’d called May first. She and Happy had told him not to come back to the apartment. They were moving his things to a secure location and would call him back when it was safe for him to join them. 

He hadn’t had time to process what his revealed identity really meant for the future, and right now, he doesn’t want to.

He pulls his knees to his chest and sits. It’s been all of ten seconds, but the wait already feels unbearable. 

He wishes he’d installed Karen in this iteration of the suit. He could really use her company right now, could really use a distraction from the panicked thoughts threatening to—


A child’s voice catches his attention.

Keep reading

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Love is a War – Mini-Series Teaser
Peter Parker x Pregnant!Stark Reader

Warnings: violence, injuries, swearing, snap does not happen

Starks are notorious for their reputation. When the youngest Starks’ life is in danger what will happen and who will save them?

Peter had never known love until he met (y/n) Stark. Is their love enough to save them all?

Tony thought that Thanos was the worst thing he would ever have to face; how could he be so wrong?

You thought you knew what a motherly bond was all about, but never did it ever feel as strong as it feels now.

When did love become war?

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Fanfic Tropes In A Bunch of Spiderman Fics That I Hate:

(In this instance, I’m putting myself in [y/n]’s shoes)

Disclaimer: I’m not criticizing anybody’s writing. Alot of these are just my personal pet peeves and this is just my opinion and shouldn’t be taken seriously.

1) Walking In

(I don’t really hate this one it’s just super funny to me how unrealistic it always is) That one trope in smut fics when the reader walks in on Peter masturbating and it’s all embarrassing and they leave but then they come back and they offer to help him get off.



No dates, no relationship. No, this is just your crush that you walked in on and all of a sudden now you’re screwing?… No. That’s never how those situations work and if it ever does that’s mad weird. And if you think PETER PARKER, the king of anxiety is gonna do that??? Ahahahahaha

2) Superhero Secret Identity Issues

It always makes me laugh in fics when Peter’s Spiderman secret gets out and the reader ends up getting mad and feeling betrayed and it leads to all that unnecessary drama and he keeps explaining why and all the dangers to telling her and how he wants to keep her safe, but she’s still like “tHe DiShOnEsTy”



If my best friend/boyfriend/love interest has been ghosting me and leaving unanswered questions and I found out it’s because this whole time they’re literally a superhero and they’ve been saving lives and almost dying every night, the last thing I would do is get mad at them. I’d be like “oh so now that all makes sense. Now everything’s fallen into place.” Legit the most Peter Parker would get from me is a “That’s awesome! Stay safe tho.” I would understand why he would have to lie about that. Maybe I’m just a different breed but it ain’t that hard to be understanding.

No one likes being lied to, but when it’s literally a life or death issue, you can’t at least be a little understanding? I swear the y/n’s in these Spiderman fics are so selfish sometimes as if they can’t grasp the fact that their boyfriend is a literal superhero. This man has to save the world then come back home and deal with your eMoTiOnS.

3) Love Triangles

Simple. I’m just too loyal for this. If I’m talking to a guy, I’m talking to that one guy. Even if two guys like me, I’m not gonna go around entertaining more than one.

4) Pining

On paper, yeah pining is great.

But in real life??? PINING SUCKS no matter which side of it you’re on.

On one side, you’re trying to go after someone who has or hasn’t made it clear that they don’t feel the same way. And that crap hurts. Because you can’t stop the feelings, but at the same time, you know it probably won’t work. It’s a losing battle (even though in most fics they actually do end up getting together because ✨happy endings✨)

And on the other side there’s being pined after. Lemme tell you from experience, it’s not fun. If I don’t like you, and I make that clear. I dare you to try me again. Your face will meet a fist. Don’t stare at me from across the room. Don’t flirt with me. And I wish you would touch me. Pls give me an excuse to break your legs. It’s just pretty uncomfortable and in the end I just feel bad for you.


5) Miscommunication

😂😂😂These characters will be beating around the bush, prancing over the bush, frickin galloping on it. Like SAY WHAT YOU NEED TO SAYYYYYYY. SPIT👏IT👏OUT👏. THESE FICS COULD END IN ONE CHAPTER IF YOU JUST COMMUNICATE WHAT YOU’RE FEELINGGGG.


6) Y/n’s

This happens in like every fandom with fanfiction but I see it alot in Peter fics.

It’s like writers can’t find a common medium with the y/n’s their fics. They’re either SUPER submissive and overly selfless or SUPER aggressive and overly selfish. Like… that’s not the only way to write a character you know that right? There’s something called variety.

And then alot of writers, trying to stray away from the submissive, make their main character SO annoying and try to hide behind “characters need flaws!” “They have to have a hubris!”

Yeah… that’s valid but there’s a difference between a flaw and your character’s whole personality just being an aggressively stubborn dweeb. The way some of you guys use that excuse is like trying to apply that logic to Eric Cartman instead of Han Solo.

Literally Peter will be in the hospital dying and the y/n would be like


These y/n’s in some of the Peter fics are such selfish and just terrible people that make every issue about themselves ngl that it gets me really questioning how Peter likes them because if I were him, I wouldn’t waste my time.

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Hi, yes requests are still open. This link is a real life saver thanks! Hope you like it!

Warnings: swearing

Peter had stood you up again, this was the third time this week he had bailed. This date had been rearranged more than the furniture in your bedroom. The audacity that that boy showed riled you up the wrong way. He couldn’t even send a fucking text, no he left you at the restaurant for two hours. You had waited for him just in case he had some secret Spider-Man duties to attend to, but he didn’t. He just forgot, like he always did.

The next day you see a figure in your room. An outline of someone facing away from you, it was too dark to make out anything else about them. Not even thinking about it, you threw your hairbrush at the figure. You knew it wasn’t going to do much damage, but it was the closest thing to you that would hurt.

When the figure caught the hairbrush, you knew exactly who it was. You only knew of one person who had reflexes like that, Peter. “ Puta que pariu (for fuck’s sake) what are you doing here, Peter?” Turning on the light, you looked him in the eyes.

“Calm down (y/n). I’m here to apologise, I should have texted you, but I may have been swinging when I was going to and, erm, well my phone broke.” He looked at you sheepishly. 

You were totally done with his excuses and his inability to keep himself safe. “I thought I told you not to swing and text! Vai se foder! (Go fuck yourself) I’m honestly so sick of your behaviour recently. If you don’t love me, you need to tell me.”

“What are you saying? I don’t understand, of course, I fucking love you.” He was now in front of you, holding you to his chest. You had slightly calmed down now, Peter’s presence was calming you down. 

Peter had heard you speaking Portuguese to your family, mostly when you were on the phone to your avó, your grandmother. She lived in Brazil and only came to visit about once a year due to her health. Ever since that argument, he had vowed to himself that he would at least try to learn the basics and the swearwords he thought you were calling him.

His moment came six months later. He had recently encounter Black Cat, a thief who was targeting jewellery stores, she was all he talked about. How she flirted with him. It made you jealous, and you made it known.

“Escroto! Would you just shut up about her already? I’ve had it up to here with you, somehow you always bring her name up in every conversation we have. Foda-se!” You were about to leave when you heard his voice.

“Wait, you think I’m an asshole? Also if I am correct, you just said ‘fuck this shit’. Please tell me I’m wrong. Don’t tell me that this is the end for us. I can’t lose you!” You were now staring at him in shock.

It was unbelievable. He was learning Portuguese for you, the boy still surprised you to this day. “Did you learn Portuguese for me?”

“Erm, well, I guess. You kept saying little things, and I wanted to know what you were saying. I also learnt eu te amo.” His face was red, and he looked utterly adorable. Walking towards him, you grabbed his cheeks and kissed him. When you pulled away, you whispered to him.

“I love you too.”

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