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I love the concept of two people being in love with each other but having different views of what love is so they think it’s one sided.

Like how in she ra Catra thinks love is to choose the person you love over everything and Adora thinks love is to protect them. So when Adora leaves catra she thinks she doesn’t love her and when catra doesn’t want adora to give her life to save the world over her Adora thinks she doesn’t think she loves her. And when they finally talk to each other and say out loud that they love each other they understand each other and can finally be together.

Or on miraculous Marinette thinks love is to make things for the person you love, actions that show it. Like letting his dad take credit for her gift in order to make him happy. She also thinks you can’t be in love with someone who’s your friend (she’s said she sees chat as a friend and is choosing to be friends with Adrien). On the other side, Adrien sees it as expressing your feelings through words which is why he’s told ladybug various times little jokes like “we’re meant to be together” and she never thought he meant it until he literally said “I’m in love with her” (Marinette denied liking him) he also thinks you can only like one person at a time, which is why he looks at it like “Marinette likes Luka and so, she can’t like me”.

This hasn’t been resolved but in chat blanc Adrien realizes Marinette is Ladybug and so they’re not two different people, meaning he only liked one person all along. He realizes he’s liked Marinette this whole time but didn’t want to believe it cause he liked ladybug and he can’t like two people at the same time, and he realizes that when ladybug said she liked another boy, she meant him because of the note. So he tells her his feelings as he knows she likes him back and they can be together, Marinette doesn’t have to chose between liking him or being his friend. And he’s wearing her beret which probably meant a lot to her since it was her gift. And so they’re happy. This’ll probably be resolved differently when they actually get together but I hope it’s a similar relation to that.

Or in the In the mcu Spider-Man they have pretty similar views on love but have different stances on it. For Peter, love is to put yourself out there for the other person and he’s ready to do so, he wants to protect them, to be honest, along with doing the right thing. While MJ sees it as being vulnerable to the other person, being real, she wasn’t ready for that at first and so when she’s ready to be vulnerable is when she tells him that she likes him.

Idk I just find it so interesting how two perspectives on the same concept crash cause Love is really complicated depending on who looks at it, it has so many different ways of being seen or felt or expressed and I just think that’s wonderful.

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Tony: Kid, why are you standing under that crooked ice cream sign?

Peter: Because if it falls on me then I get free ice cream for life

Rhodey: Thats not how it-

Rhodey: No Tony, don’t join him

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Finally have some decent Marvel art, and now I can work on my Spideychelle prompts!

This is the Spidey Squad from my fic Spider-Man: Vigilantic Formation, which consists of Michelle Jones, Peter Parker, Ned Leeds, and Harry Osborn. I very you can tell who is who, hehe.

I was a bit more lenient on the shading, since I knew I was going to be drawing for people opposed to one or two, and also because anatomy sucks. I’m very thankful to have access to Pinterest’s archives of drawing tutorials and decent references to draw these guys.

I’m still working on SM:VF, I promise. I’m just trying to finish up my Spideychelle Week prompts first.

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Summary:  Y/N Stark and Peter Parker are unconditionally and irrevocably in love with each other, being friends for years was just the step before making it official. BUT, just the weekend they did, Thanos and the snap happened, leaving Y/N broken: without friends, avengers family or Peter Parker. So, she has to move on, at least that’s what everyone’s telling her and she really tries to do it and who better to help her than Harry Osborn. But, has she really let Peter go? What if Tony Stark -genius, billionaire, playboy, and philanthropist- knows how to bring Peter back? And what happens when he does? Is Y/N going to avenge again? Who’s going to lead the avengers now? Who is she going to choose? Harry or Peter? and who the hell is mysterio? *He doesn’t even go here

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Originally posted by tom-hollcnd

word count: 10.5k

author’s note: May was a really hard month for me and with everything that’s happening in the world, I didn’t even know if I should be writing? It seemed so pointless. But here we are anyway, it helps my mental health and that’s why I was so late with this chapter. I was going to make it longer but I think we covered our foundation here. Anyway, please if you are in USA be careful with everything that’s happening and I’ve been seeing some resources on instagram. I’ll try to post more here or on insta

series masterlist

“A pleasure to see you, Stark” Nick Fury stated as you shook his hand with a stone face. 

It wasn’t that you didn’t like Nick Fury, Tony, and Steve trusted him and in consequence, you did as well -at least the majority of the time-. He was the one that had brought them together but also with the fall of SHIELD, it wasn’t like before. Either way, you knew he was going to be part of this and you complied because you needed all the support that you could find to get the avengers together again. 

“So, what’s this about?”, you asked as you turned back to see an old Steve sitting down in the conference room already. 

It had been two weeks since the funeral and the world was going back to normal again, clearly as best as anyone possibly could. For you, it had been a busy couple of weeks with your non-profit and trying to figure out how to decipher Tony’s USB. The days you spent at the office were chaotic while the nights you spend them at your lab restlessly trying to find what Tony had left for you. 

No one knew about the USB, it simply remained between Strange, you, and H.A.P.P.Y while you tested every possible combination to unlock it but your efforts have been in vain. Regarding your non-profit, relocating the children to their parents had been a rather a bitch of a process. The protocol that your volunteers had designed, which was overall great and easier, had been hijacked by the government that decided to intervene and just add more paperwork and more time; which annoyed you because kids wanted to be with their parents and this was just another way of keeping them apart. 

Thankfully, Pepper and Harry had been helping you deal with everything and tried to see a foreseeable future for the non-profit and their facilities on the east and west coast. The facilities were still useful for kids that were in foster care of the kids who had lost their parents regardless of the snap, therefore, Pepper had managed to snatch a meeting with the president to discuss a possible alliance to keep the facilities working with their help. 

Truth was that you felt better if the government gave you a hand, it had been a full-time work for you and now it didn’t seem possible to handle it all since you wanted to go to University. Stark Industries would permanently have a percentage; after the sale, it would be smaller than the one the government had but the non-profit would keep working and that was your main goal. 

It was the only reason you had to agree to meet with Fury at the moment because you knew that now you would have the time and it wasn’t difficult to foresee what he wanted from you. 

“You need to be the new head of the Avengers, Y/N”, Steve finally said with a stern look. 

It was hard to see Steve as an old man when you had spent the majority of your life seeing him as this strong, young superhero that could have the mannerisms of a really old person. It was fun to make jokes about it and everyone did it, sure, you had picture Steve just like this for a Halloween someday but now it was too real. In all honesty, you didn’t want to judge his decision but somehow it pained you that he hadn’t chosen to stay with you and help you in this transition. Yes, he was there but not like before and it felt like you had been left alone by the other most important person in your life. 

“What about Sam or Bucky?”, you asked. “They are older”

“They became fugitives after SHIELD crashed down”, Fury explained. “We need you”

You knew it. You knew that neither Bucky or Sam were approved by the government and it annoyed you to the core because Sam was the best option along with you but now it wasn’t possible thanks to a couple of white old men in suits that didn’t know how was it out there.

“I saw this coming”, you sighed as your eyes connected with Steve’s. “Isn’t it too soon?”

“The world is going to look up to you since your father saved the universe”, Fury answer, and you turned around to watch him walk silently. “It’s up to you to keep the Avengers alive”

You remained quiet for a few seconds. The guilt and the burden swinging over your head as the words of Fury stuck in your head while you watched him. 

It was up to you and although you had tried to escape it and have a little peace of mind the last few weeks it was an irreversible fact that you were in charge now, whether you liked it or not. Pepper had let you go back with her to the cabin and she had tried not to push it, but the talk was brought up either way.  

You do know you don’t have to do it if you don’t want to”, Pepper said as she brought you your cup of tea while you sat in front of the fireplace. 

“Thank you”, you answer softly as you took the cup in your hands, warming them. “The way I see it, I don’t have many options now that Steve made his choice”

She sipped on her coffee as she watched you carefully. Her eyes gleaming with fear, you knew she didn’t want this for you and neither did Tony, that’s why they try to avoid it as much as they could but now you were at this crossroad. It was even harder now to accept this new burden considering how your father’s story had turned out. 

“I mean it, y/n”, Pepper insisted, her voice stern making you turned around completely to face her. “You don’t have to do this. Tony and I once hope that you would be the CEO of Stark Industries, that you could leave that life behind.”

“Pepper…”

“Y/N, I don’t know if you realize this but you are not Tony,” Pepper said, as she placed a hand over yours. “Your father, because of who he was didn’t have a choice, but you do.” 

You shook your head. 

“But I am like him”, you said quietly as you took Pepper’s hand into yours. “I can’t brush off his legacy and you know how much I wanted this since I was a kid”

“You also wanted to run Stark Industries like me”, Pepper said as she raised her brows. “But avenging, it can’t be your whole life”

“And I still want to”, you assured her. “I know it can’t and I don’t want to live as Nat or Steve did, I just don’t want to let dad down. I feel like everyone knows it’s on me”

Pepper remained quiet for a few moments and she sighed, she squeezed your hand as her gaze went to the fireplace in front of you. 

“You are not letting him down Y/N, you could never do that and I know what you mean because Tony felt somehow the same and that’s why he fought so hard”, Pepper replied quietly, she sucked in a breath as she turned around to watch you again and gave you a soft smile. “I’ll try to be okay with any decision you make, but I want you to still go to university as you had planned before, your life can’t be on hold anymore”

“You know I want to go; you don’t have to ask me that. I started sending my applications after what happened”, you said as you took a sip of your tea. “Thank you for understanding”

“I dealt with your dad for a long time, I know better”, Pepper said with a chuckled while you giggled. 

“You really think I can be like him?”, you asked. 

“Y/N, you don’t have to be like him. You have to find yourself and whatever makes you feel okay”, Pepper replied honestly. “If you believe you have to do this, you can do it kid”

“Thank you, mom” 

You knew you wanted this; you knew you had to do this because you wanted to make Tony proud. He had believed in you, Nat too, and know it was your chance to prove everyone that you were succeeding and that Tony’s legacy was still alive. 

… 

But now sitting in that conference room with Steve and Fury, you couldn’t help feeling as if you were suffocating while they watched you carefully waiting for an answer. Maybe the feeling would go away, you were just starting but what worried you is that the feeling didn’t stop. 

“Mrs. Stark?”, Fury’s voice woke you up from your thoughts and you blinked trying to get back into the conversation. 

“Sorry”, you muttered as you cleared your throat. “I get that we need the Avengers alive but we are only five. It’s less than what you guys,” you signaled Steve, “had when you started it.”

Nick Fury looked at you with a smile as he took out from his trench coat a couple of folders and threw them on the table, his only eye gleaming with satisfaction, as if he was proud, he already knew everything as if he hadn’t snapped and was still aware of everything that was happening. 

“We have some ideas for recruits”, he said smugly. 

You rolled your eyes and took a hold of some of the folders, your eyes followed the letters and the pictures on it and you couldn’t help but feel a shiver of fear as you read the profiles of this people. It was becoming too real and although you were great at making things work you couldn’t help but feel responsible for them.  

But at the end of the day, they were exactly who you needed to make it work. 

You nodded your head and turned around to watch Steve. “Do you agree with all of them?”, you asked as you raised the folder with your hand. 

Steve remained quiet for a few seconds. “I think they have what it takes”

“Then we need to call them in”, you stated as you stood up, your heart thumping on your chest. 

It probably wasn’t a good idea for you, to have Peter at the meeting. But he had become an official Avenger when both of you decided to go to Titan with your dad and he was the most beloved hero of New York City -apart from you-, it was obvious that you needed his help to do this. 

But clearly, he wasn’t thrilled. 

You were walking through the hallways of Stark Tower; you had just finished a meeting with the volunteers of the facilities to thank them all for their help during this time and now you were late to the Avengers meeting. Honestly, the anxiety of the meeting hadn’t slowed down, the ache in your stomach got worse as time passed and you felt like your mind was somewhere else as you checked over and over again the points of the meeting. 

It wasn’t any news that when you were distracted enough you became a klutz. So, as you ran through the hallways of Stark Tower to get into the meeting in time, you unexpectedly collided with the brown-hair boy with chocolate eyes with specks of honey that made your heart stop. 

It wasn’t at all the meet-cute that it could’ve been. 

Peter, obviously with his super-strength didn’t even flinch as you fell forward on the floor as people gasped as they saw you there. It was as if you had wanted to run over him but he was a wall, so as you hit his back you were the one flying over. Papers everywhere, the screen of your iPhone probably cracked, a sharp pain on your shoulder and the ankle that Thanos had injured was throbbing a bit. 

“I-I’m sorry”, Peter managed to let out as he helped to collect the files that you were carrying along with your phone while you sat down on the floor wincing. 

“Don’t worry, I was the klutz”, you replied and it seemed that Peter froze as soon as he heard your voice. 

Maybe he hadn’t even noticed that it was you but the face when he realized it was you, it wasn’t pretty. 

Not even because of his hostile expression but he didn’t look well. He had bags under his eyes, the shadows made his usually big eyes become smaller, his brown curls weren’t styled as he liked but they were over the place and he seemed pale. It was as if he hadn’t sleep in…

“When was the last time you slept more than two hours?”, the question came out of nowhere and you wanted to hit yourself in the face because it wasn’t even appropriate. 

But you knew him, you knew how he sucked in everything around him. Peter’s sense had dialed to eleven since he was bitten by the radioactive spider and along with his anxiety thanks to the sense of responsibility he had after becoming Spider-man. You used to think that you overthink a lot of things but when you met Peter, you realized that it wasn’t half as bad. Sleeping together, your voice, your hands on his curls, your laugh, and holding your hand were things that helped him blow the anxiety away. Nonetheless, he couldn’t do it anymore. 

Peter stayed quiet, examining you. You looked like heaven to him: rosy cheeks, your hair a bit messy but now more styled, the black turtle neck you were using looked elegant but casual by wearing your force 1 with them, he could tell that you were tired but the shadows under your eyes didn’t overshadow your y/e/c eyes, and those lips, you had just placed some Chapstick over them and he could tell. Peter decided right then and there that growing older suited you, you looked so good and he just wanted to kiss you right there and then. He wanted you to hold him and tell you that he hadn’t slept since you fought, he wanted to tell you that he missed you and that you two were meant for each other. 

But as much as he wanted to kiss you and tell you that he loved you, he didn’t do it, the angered and sadness clawing their way into his heart. 

The last few weeks had been confusing and tiring. He had returned to Midtown to all of your friends asking about you and while he didn’t say anything about Harry, he had to break down to them that you weren’t together and that you weren’t returning to Midtown either. 

“Do you mean she’s abandoning us!?”, Flash exclaimed dramatically as they all sat down in the lunch table while Peter only rolled his eyes. 

“I don’t know what she’s doing but she’s going to be 21 in a couple of months”, Peter explained. “She’s not coming back to school”

“Well, we are leaving in a few months to college”, Betty intervened. “We just have to take the final exams again but this fall we are going with Y/N to college” 

“These are the most important ones!” Ned cried. “Where the memories are made!”

He was barely holding it together and Betty was just playing with his hair, in an attempt to calm him down while MJ remained quiet, as if she was trying to process what was going on. Peter had wished that you were the one who told them but he understood that they had questions and that you wanted to keep to yourself. It was usually the thing you did when you were feeling down, still, he couldn’t help to hate it at the moment. 

But as always, MJ came out with the logical response and wisest answer. 

“She’s not abandoning us Flash,” she snarled as she gave him a side glanced and then looked back at Peter. “She has grown and she just lost her dad. We don’t know what was like to live without us, so let’s just give her time and she’ll come back to us”

Peter rolled his eyes, not in an obvious way but enough for MJ to notice and see red. 

“And get over yourself Parker, yes, she broke up with you but we don’t know what her life has been like for two years!”, MJ grumbled. “You know how much we can change in even six months?”

“MJ it’s not about me and y/n as a couple but-”

“-as best friends”, Peter and Flash said at the same time. 

Flash looked back and forth between MJ and Peter while they looked at him bugged eyed. 

“Shut up, Flash. You just literally became part of the group”, MJ grumbled and she stood up from the table as she faced Peter. “Stop being butthurt with Y/N and give her time”, she said walking away. 

All of them remained quiet for a second.

“Are we going to do what MJ said?”, Flash asked quietly. 

“When do we ever do something that MJ doesn’t say”, Ned replied as he placed his hand on Betty’s shoulder. 

“What if it’s too much time?”, Flash asked once again. 

“We just have to wait, Flash, don’t worry”, Betty replied.

But Peter remained quiet as he looked away, zoning out. It was actually something Peter saw coming, he knew that MJ and you had become close before the snap, and MJ was a fierce and loyal friend while you were as well. It didn’t surprise him her reaction and he also knew she was right, but he couldn’t help but feel still angry over what had happened with you and at that point he didn’t know if he was even mad at you but at the fact that he snapped away and you didn’t. 

It had been a few weeks after MJ snapped at Peter, he thought maybe his anger would die down but as his eyes focused on you, it still hurt so much. At the moment, Peter could’ve said a lot of things but why? Did he wonder if you really cared about him? What were you possibly going to say that would make him feel better? Would telling you off make him feel better? Of course not, he would feel awful if he said anything bad to you. Therefore he didn’t answer. 

“Peter, please”, you pleaded as he helped you stood up by grabbing your hand. 

But he didn’t budge, he didn’t open his mouth. He simply walked past you towards the conference room and you turned around, with a bleak expression, seeing him walking away.

It hurt. 

You had heard that some people preferred someone yelling at them and telling them off rather than to have someone not saying absolutely anything. Honestly, you didn’t understand and it was maybe because Tony had always said what was bothering him, he never stayed silent and neither did Pepper, so you didn’t understand until now how hurtful it could be. You winced at the realization you had done it to others, it was your preferred mechanism to disappear and stay with yourself, it was easier for you since you liked being alone but now you realized it was even worst. 

Your phone buzzing took your eyes away from Peter before he made a right to make it to the conference room. 

“What now?”

The screen turned on, with a small crack over it, and you couldn’t help but smile as you saw the MIT email on it. 

We are pleased to inform you that you had been admitted to MIT undergrad programs of electrical engineering, physics, and business …

You couldn’t contain your excitement as you watched the screen. It was something that Tony had always wanted, he had a pull-on MIT and had wished that you were going to his alma mater, along with Peter. It was a bittersweet moment for you, one day you had picture yourself there with Peter and Tony picking you up on the weekends to New York to spend time with Pepper, training with Nat and Steve, visiting your friends. 

But everything had been erased and now you were here, being head of the avengers and already definitely late for your meeting. 

The race to the hallways was rather quickly and in no time you were in front of the conference room but before you opened the door you took a deep breath. 

The ache in your stomach didn’t budge one bit, your feet couldn’t stop tapping on the ground as you bit your inner cheek.  This was your first move as head of the Avengers and you needed to play the part;  Fake it till you make it, you thought to yourself as you fixed your hair as best as you could and straightened your outfit; taking a deep breath, you walked in. 

It seemed like one of those dreams when you watch yourself, from another place, like a scene of a movie. At least that was how you felt as you tried to catch in on all the people who turned around as soon as you walked in with determination and the poker face that Tony had once taught you, but it felt like you were gasping for air as you saw from the corner of your eye Fury glaring at you. 

“You are late”, Fury stated. 

“I’m running a multimillion-dollar non-profit and was in a meeting with a correspondent of the White House, and I’m going to run this show,” you stated as you walked next to him, in front of everyone present. “So no, I’m not late”

It was a bold move and you prayed internally that it worked as you had a stare-down with Nick Fury, which you couldn’t even picture in your wildest dreams, and although you knew it was a lie about the White House, it was a way to assert your leadership. 

“Let’s begin,” you said by dropping the folders on the table and turning around to face everyone.

If Ned could be right there and then, you knew he would’ve passed out. 

Peter was sitting at your right, a bit slouched but he was in, next to him Wanda was sitting down as she winked at you, Lila Barton was sat down next to her with Clint by her side. On the other side of the table, there was Steve, Bucky, and Sam -or how your dad liked to call them The Army Bros, Steve and his kids, Ménage a Trois, among others-, then Harley was next to them smirking at you, Cassie Lang was also with Scott who seemed a bit in awe with the view in front of him. 

It was exciting seeing them together in one room, you could see a team forming here; you just hoped that it didn’t have to happen with an alien invasion followed by a significant battle in New York. 

“You have been called here because The Avengers are not done”, Steve said sternly as he looked at all of them. He might have been over 100 years but the force on his voice and the sense of leadership in his eyes didn’t go away for a second. “We still need to have a future.” Steve gazed at you as he finished and you sucked in a breath. 

It was your cue. 

“There was an idea to bring together a group of remarkable people, they did become something more and fought the battles that we couldn’t win”, you explained seriously, watching how Nick Fury turned around to see how you cited each one of the words he had said to your father. They had stuck with you all these years and you didn’t see why you shouldn’t bring them up now. “We need to be the next generation of that group, maintain the legacy, we have a responsibility with the world”.

Your eyes connected with everyone’s in the room, except for Peter who immediately looked away. 

“That’s the reason that we call you in”, Fury intervened as he walked towards you and Steve. “You have the abilities to save the world”. Everyone stayed silent as they watched him. “Y/N Stark or Iron hea-”, Fury began by dropping the first folder that contained your profile. 

“-don’t even say it, it’s just Stark”, you interrupted as you raised your hand for him to stop, Fury simple rolled his eye with a still stone-cold face drawn. 

“Spider-man”, he said looking at Peter, folder dropped. 

“Scarlett Witch”, Wanda sucked in a breath as the folder dropped in front of her. 

“Winter Soldier or White Wolf should I say?”, Fury asked. 

Bucky remained quiet as he gazed at the folder that Fury had thrown on him, clearly bigger than any of the others. He just sighed and nodded. 

“Falcon, the new Captain America”, Fury said and Sam smirked as he placed a hand over Steve’s shoulder while Bucky rolled his eyes. 

“Iron lad”, Fury said gazing at Harvey who seemed like he wanted to pass out as he quickly took a hold of the folder and began reading it full speed. 

“Statue”, he said looking at Cass while Scott looked at him with panic. It was clear that he didn’t want Cassie there but by the way, Cassie was excitedly looking at the folder and what was written about her, it wasn’t his choice to make. 

“Finally, Kate Bishop”, Fury finished as he nodded at Clint who was sternly looking at you.  

Cassie quickly turned around to look at her, bug-eyed. “Thought that you were Lila Barton?”, she said confused. 

Before Clint or Lila could even respond, you interrupted them. 

“It’s Lila’s secret identity”, you explained with a smile. “No one can know she’s related to Clint. It can risk their cover and we don’t want anything happening to them”. 

“Thanks, Y/N”, Clint said with a tight smile. 

It was clear that you would’ve to talk with Clint and Scott soon and calm them down, they reminded you of your dad and well, Lila and Cassie reminded you of you at that age and how much you wanted to follow your father’s steps into becoming an actual hero. They wanted to be in it so badly that they went behind their parents back to make it happened and it was the same as you began to build your suit without Tony knowing it. 

Lila had talked with Fury at the funeral, she had sneak from Clint and Laura while Fury was having a word with Carol. She had explained to him that she was good with the bow and arrow, maybe even better than her dad; and most importantly, she had realized that she wanted to do something good if she knew how to do it. On the other part, Cassie had been begging Scott, Janet, Hope, and Hank to let her into the team, Cassie was smarter than Scott and in the few years that had passed, she was sure that she wanted to follow her dad’s steps after actually losing him. Although Hope and Scott didn’t agree on it, Hank and Janet had a soft spot for Cassie and had given her a suit, after a few trials they had realized she was really good. It didn’t take long for Fury to hear the word and contact them. It wasn’t a pretty discussion with Hank or Hope, but Janet and Scott more or less got where Cassie was coming from, finally convincing them it was a good option. 

Lila was fifteen while Cassie was fourteen, approximately a year younger before your first mission; it seemed like it was time to train them although a part of you wanted them to stay training for a little longer. 

“What about the other ones?”, Peter asked as he looked at Steve, drawing you back to the conversation. “T’Challa? Or Captain Marvel? Where’s Thor?”

You winced at his remark, it stung that he was unsure about this new plan and this new era. Did he wanted to be there? Steve had been the one calling him and knowing how much Peter respected Steve, you were sure he was going to say yes. But now that you were actually listening to him, at the dead tone he had, at the way he was avoiding you or even zoning out, you didn’t know if it was the best idea to have him on the team. 

But Peter wasn’t doubting you. He didn’t doubt you for a second, in his heart he knew that you were going to be a great leader, but as he gazed at you, it became too much. 

“They’ll come when they are needed but we need a response team, the foundations,” Steve said as he signaled the room. “You are that team” 

Peter nodded in response. Truth was that Peter felt proud that he had been called, he remembered like it was yesterday when Tony had officially made him an avenger. How you had jumped into his arms and planted a kiss on his lips as if you didn’t care that you were going to a new planet and facing the scariest villain that you had met, all that it mattered was how official this was. But that was it, it came back to the fact that he wanted to stand up with you and hold your hand and be your support but he couldn’t do it. 

“Anyway, newbies you are not official members yet”, you stated as you signaled to Cassie, Harley, and Lila. “But we need to start training you and we will begin next week”

“How much training?”, Harley asked concerned since you knew he was about to finish college this semester. 

“Don’t worry, we will start on the weekends. You’ll be flown here from Boston and San Francisco by one of our quinjets”, you explained. “Lila, you’ll come every two weeks since you train with Clint almost every day and there’s no better teacher for your specialty”

Lila nodded excitedly as she gazed back at Clint, who simply smiled and placed a kiss on her forehead. 

“We are going to train in the tower again?”, Peter asked as he looked at you, he was really looking at you, you gaped for a bit by the way his eyes were looking at you. 

“Ye-Yes… I-uhm- until the compound it’s -uhm- I already ordered to rebuild it”, you stumbled through your words as you tried to maintain the first eye-contact that Peter had given you. “It’s on my name now”

Peter nodded quietly and you smiled as a response but it didn’t last long as he quickly gazed back at Fury as he began to explain the regime that you were going to follow and how the group trainings were going to go, especially since Sam and Bucky had a special mission in Europe for the next month or two. Harley along with Cassie were the ones doing the most questions and most of the talking regarding the new initiative, Lila asked a few questions but it seemed like she was more familiar with the spy language that you were using. Wanda, Sam, and Bucky took on the role of mentors as they sometimes intervened and explained how things worked, along with you and Steve. Peter talked a few times as well, but he stayed quiet for most of the meeting, he knew the protocols and the plans so he didn’t have many questions. He was zoning out as he looked at you when you weren’t looking, god, he was trying to avoid it because it created a lump on his throat the more, he looked at you and knew that nothing was going to happen between you two again. 

So, when you lifted the meeting, he stood up as fast as he could and walked out of the room. 

“So, what’s up with him?”, Wanda asked as everyone began walking out of the room and you stayed alone picking up the papers and giving a nod to Fury as he told you that he was going to be in contact. 

Wanda was a big part of your life. She became like a sister after Ultron and although she was a couple of years older than you, it was a matter of time before you became best friends. The nights that you stayed at the compound and that Peter spent with Aunt May, became official girls’ nights between you two and sometimes Natasha (although she wasn’t a fan). You knew she was the first person that realized you had feelings for Peter and it was the first person you told about your first kiss after Scorpion attacked you. She also told you about Vision and you were there as she slowly let her guard down with him, at the end falling head over heels for him. 

Their relationship was sweet and authentic, neither of them was trying to be someone that they weren’t and they accepted each other with everything they came with. When you lost both of them to the snap, it somehow made you feel okay? That they weren’t living without the other because they seemed so meant to be together, Vision adored her. Nonetheless, when Wanda came back and Vision didn’t, you knew it was going to take a toll on her. Wanda had been staying in the tower since all of you came back, she hadn’t left her room and she hadn’t been herself as she tried to deal with the grief of losing Vision, Bucky had been overprotective of her the last few days of her and Bruce checked up on her every day, you also visited her as much as you could and you had heard that Peter had swing by a couple of times as well. This was the first day that you had seen her out of her room and you were beyond happy about seeing her like this. 

“I thought that he had told you when he came to visit”, you said as you turned around and wrap your arms around Wanda who hugged you back. 

Wanda and Peter were good friends, she saw him as a little brother and she messed around with him when she had the opportunity. They used to try to sneak up on him with Vision sometimes, but Peter’s spidey sense was too strong for them to win; at the end, Wanda resorted into levitating a few things when Peter wasn’t looking and it would annoy him before he would shot his web to the object that would be flying over his head with a red halo or in another place of the room. 

“He didn’t do much talking actually, he just listened”, Wanda explained as she let go of you. “So, what happened?”

In all honesty, you were somehow dreading this part of telling Wanda about Harry, you remember how happy she was when you told her about Peter and was all over your team even after older avengers were kind of apprehensive about it. 

You sighed as you leaned on the table. “You know Oscorp Industries?” 

“I don’t like where this is going”, Wanda bit her lip, wincing as she watched you carefully and you nodded in response. 

The memory of Peter’s eyes gleaming with tears as they fell from his cheeks while you spat out that you were with someone new hunted you. Your heart sank more and more was you thought about it, it was one of the worst things you had to do. 

“It’s not that I forgot about Peter, but I was just so lost and everyone was telling me to move on”, you shrugged as Wanda sat on one of the chairs next to you. 

It was true, you never forgot about the boy with chocolate eyes. It just happened that when you were getting better, Harry appeared in your life and just made it easier. It was easy and calming to be with him, he was everything you would want on a boyfriend. 

“I know the feeling”, Wanda mumbled and you felt guilty that you were talking about your love life when Wanda’s significant other had passed away. “So, what’s he like?”

You huffed as you tried to find words to describe Harry. “He’s gorgeous to look at, he is kind and humble. I just like to be around him”. 

Wanda eyed you suspiciously for a few moments and it scared you because you knew how good she was at reading you and knowing your feelings. It scared you that she might tell you that you were making the wrong decision. 

“But he’s no Peter”, Wanda stated as she looked at you intently. 

No, there was no way that Harry would compare to Peter. And it was unfair to do it because they were too different, the only thing linking them together was that they cared about you. 

“No”, you answered honestly as you closed your eyes, pinching the bridge of your nose as you tried to find the right words to fight Wanda’s gaze. “He isn’t but I do care about him, a lot. You can’t understand how much he has help-.”

“-do you love him?”, Wanda interrupted and you became stiff as she mentioned love. 

It wasn’t that the fact that neither Harry or you had said it, he knew how delicate that was for you and the fact that you had only told Peter that you loved him had maybe restrained Harry to actually mumbled it out. But on your part, you knew how your heart felt warm when you saw him and how you automatically smiled, he made you laugh and made you feel okay; still, you hadn’t said it. 

“I think I do”, you answered honestly. 

Wanda rolled her eyes as she stood from the chair and splayed her hands on the table, a straight-face as she eyed you again, as if she was in an interrogatory, “It’s a yes or no answer Y/N”. 

And you felt the pressure like she had meant you to feel it. “Wanda, stop”, you felt your cheeks growing warmer and even maybe a headache as you looked right back at her, but you knew better than to avoid her questions and you finally answered, “I can’t give you one”. 

Wanda finally looked away as she passed a hand through her hair. “So, what are your feelings for Peter then?” Wanda sighed. 

“I love him”, you stated without any doubt on your voice, making her shoot a look at you of confusion. 

What’s it weird to say that you love your ex-boyfriend but doubt that you loved your current one? Maybe, you thought as you hopped off the table. 

“If you are so sure then why don’t you go back to him?”, Wanda asked, annoyance lingering onto her voice. 

You smirked as you watched her because it was too obvious who she was going to choose, “Oh, I see you are Team Peter on this”

She gave you a light smile back. “You know I love Peter but Y/N…”, her lips pressed for a second as she tried to fix her words, “I remember when you told me about Peter for the first time and there was something inside you that you couldn’t control”, she said as she walked closer to you, “It was as if this bright feeling was filling you, everything inside you shined.” 

And you remembered it, you remembered how you felt golden when you were with Peter. How your heart fluttered on your chest as his lips pressed against your body and then against your lips. How his hands would always seek your body and how on the nights you would spend together, you would fall asleep to the beating of his heart. 

“I’m not disputing that,” you stated curtly, as you recollected all the folders with a little more speed than you would. “but I have Harry too and he helped me during the time I lost everything and we just get along so well. It would be unfair for me to simply toss him after Peter came back”

Wanda’s gaze was burning your back and you could tell she was swallowing somethings just to get off your back because she noticed you were getting riled up. 

“I understand,” she finally said as you sighed and looked back at her. “But if you want this team to work, Peter and you have to keep being the best friends that you have always been”

At that very moment, Peter was thinking about the same thing. 

Was it even worth trying to work for this new team out if you weren’t on talking terms? No, it wasn’t. You were his partner and he was yours, even if years had passed for you and you were with someone new, nothing could change the fact that together you guys worked. Together you worked better than anyone in the team, Peter even believed that you guys were more connected than Nat and Steve at some point before the snap. It was the actual true, Peter knew your every move and you knew him; most importantly, you would do whatever was needed to keep the other one safe. 

But how?

“How what?”, a voice snapped Peter out of his thoughts realizing he had said it out loud. His eyes followed the husky voice, recognizing that the elevator at Stark’s tower had been emptied while he had been thinking about you. 

His eyes found this boy, should he even say boy? No, he was a man. Peter was sure that he could be confused with a model, his almond eyes were green-ish or grey-ish, he couldn’t tell and were accompanied by a sharp jaw with well-groomed facial hair. He passed a hand through his dark hair and Peter realized how tall he was. 

“I…”, Peter mumbled as he rose a brow. “It’s nothing, uhm- which floor are we?” 

The guy simply nodded and smiled simply at Peter. “We are arriving at the penthouse, right now.”

Before the doors opened, F.R.I.D.A.Y.’s voice could be heard in all the elevator. 

“Hello, Harry”, the AI said smoothly. “And welcome back Peter, Mrs. Potts wanted to see you”

Peter blinked in surprise; he felt his body stiffened as he heard the name. It wasn’t that Peter had been stalking you or trying to find who you were dating. Just casually some days prior, Peter had recruited Ned to find out and without a doubt, Ned worked faster than the FBI. 

“There are no photos?” Peter mewled as he walked through the walls of his room while Ned was furiously typing on his computer.

Peter wasn’t per se proud of how fixated he was on it, but he just wanted to know who had been the guy that you had actually opened your heart to that wasn’t him. You weren’t too much into relationships since he met you, you were focused on avenging and school; relationships other than your close friendships, and later, Peter’s were the things occupying your mind. 

You had gone out on a couple of dates with both boys and girls before Peter, but nothing more than a friendly chat or maybe a kiss happened between you and them. Peter tried not to be jealous but the relentless flirting did annoy him, and sometimes he let shades of it through. 

You noticed it, so when the girls would come by to talk to you at lunch and play with your hair while Peter watched, you tried to be as nonchalant as you could. With boys, you simply and politely most of the time (if they weren’t being an asshole) asked them to get lost or refused their advances. And always after the fact, Peter would be in an unusually high good mood. 

So, now with Harry, he was clearly on a mission. 

“No man, apparently his father wanted him out of the spotlight,” Ned replied as he rubbed his tired eyes. “Not that this Norman Osborn appears on many things. Remember that I had to do a presentation about him? There was barely any information”

Peter huffed. “Well, then what did you found?”

Ned glared at him as he began typing again, his fingers moving faster than Peter’s eyes. “Well, he is a billionaire and a philanthropist, he had projects in Latin America and Africa on bioengineer which he’s pretty good at”

Peter rolled his eyes, he knew how much you cared about doing your part in the world, you understood your privileges and tried to do something good about it. You didn’t like to be a girl with daddy’s credit card, there was nothing more annoying to you than when people assumed you were vapid and frivolous because of who your father was. 

“Perfect, what else do we know about Mr. perfect?”, Peter snarled as he began descending from the walls and sat next to Ned. 

Ned opened various tabs on the computer that seemed like it was going to burst with information at any point. “He has won several awards about bioengineering and as an activist. His mother was from China but he lived a few years in Malaysia as well, he went to a snobbish school and speaks English, Malay, Mandarin, French, and Spanish”

Peter’s eyes rolled to the back of his skull. “Can he be any more perfect?”, he whined and stayed silent for a few moments. “Is there any information about him and Y/N?”

Ned eyed Peter for a second, contemplating him in silence. “Do you want me to tell you that?”

Peter’s eyes connected with Ned’s, he was so tired of crying every night but it was almost impossible for him to stop. When he closed his eyes, he could only see you, you were a trigger for him. 

“No, let’s leave it alone for the day”

“Aren’t you going come in?”, Harry asked slowly and Peter simply nodded as he followed him to the large living room. 

Peter’s mind was running as if he had sipped four coffees without any milk, his jaw tightened as he watched Harry comfortably sitting on the grey sofa where once Tony had sat Peter to tell him stories about his fights, to explained him new plans, to finally confront him and you about your ongoing relationship that you had kept a secret for almost six months. 

He felt himself growing hot and his anxiety flew out of the charts. Peter, who seemed so innocent in his jeans, white shirt and black hoodie began thinking about the many ways he wanted to toss Harry out of the apartment without a second thought. 

Maybe you were his trigger, seeing you in that black dress was telling him that you were with someone else was his trigger but now Harry had become his new one. Now he could only picture you with Harry; Harry who looked like a model and was also a genius, Harry who had been there for you when Peter wasn’t and eventually took his place, maybe Harry was everything that Peter wasn’t. 

Peter only realized how worked up he was getting when he began to shake, his eyes widened as he looked at how his hands had formed into a fist and now were red thanks to all the pressure. He cleared his throat as he placed his hands on the pockets of his jeans and started walking away from the living room, maybe he could go to his old room in the tower although if he was being honest he wanted nothing more than to go to your room where he stayed most of the nights years prior.  

He remembered how you would open your window for him, especially designed for him to swing through swiftly. He remembered the nights where he would just crash your lips against yours and you would hum in response as both of you fell into your bed. He remembered also the early moments of your friendship, how you would go back to the penthouse excited after Tony had let you tried a new piece of tech, or maybe one of your works had worked. He remembered your laugh most of all, bouncing off the large walls and windows, how it would warm him up. 

But then Harry’s voice stopped him, “Woah, Woah”. Peter snapped around to see the tall boy walking towards him, “You can’t go anywhere big guy. Mrs. Potts doesn’t like it when not close people walk around”

Now it was a fact, Peter wanted to rip Harry apart. 

“I don’t need permission from Pepper to be here”, Peter retorted. He was a little bit glad that he was on a first-name basis with Pepper and Harry still weren’t, pried filled his chest as he looked at Harry staring blankly at him. 

It lasted a few second, Peter watch how Harry was examining his face and his stand. Then his eyes opened like plates and he gaped at Peter.

“Wait”, Harry muttered. “Are you-”

“-Peter Parker”, Peter stated as he glared at him. 

Was he being a little bit too standoff-ish? Yes, but at the moment he didn’t care, because it was his territory. He had been living in that penthouse for three years before the snap, he was basically family to the Stark’s and not even Harry could take that away from him. 

“I-Uhm- It’s nice to meet you”, Harry muttered as he offered Peter his hand. 

Peter looked down at it, somehow doubting Harry’s move but at the end of the day he knew nothing good would come up if he wasn’t polite. Hell, Peter was even polite to villains, although Harry had become his one. 

“It’s nice to meet you too”, Peter replied as he shook his hand, firmly. 

Harry pressed his lips into a tight smiled as he nodded. “Y/N, she talked about you, a lot.”

It wasn’t a complete lie. Harry had forgotten to even ask about Peter after the snap and since you never brought it up, it never crossed his mind that the love of your life was back. You had talked about Peter a few times, most of them ended in tears from your part and Harry had seen your social media was filled with pictures of Peter Parker, as well as the penthouse where Tony had photos of the three of you and all the other avengers. He knew how much Peter meant for you and now, although Harry wasn’t one that got nervous, he felt a shiver of panic running through his back as Peter let go of his hand.

“She talked about you; you were -uhm- are extremely especial for her”, Harry muttered.

Peter stared up at Harry, jarring silence filling the room as his heart rate increased. Harry’s eyes were blank and Peter felt stiff and uncomfortable, but another part of him felt a slight jolt of joy as Harry had mentioned how special he was for you and by how Harry was acting. Peter wanted to take the small charm that had the Iron-Spider-suit and jump from the window, maybe even swing from building to building while screaming of joy. You had talked about him, to the point that it seemed to make Harry uncomfortable. 

“Yeah…”, Peter said simply as he gave a step back. “I’m going to leave now…”

Before could even turn around completely, he bumped into Pepper. 

Pepper had this thing about her, she could be serious to the point of scary but she could also be the sweetest woman on earth. Pepper had become an important mother figure to Peter, and she got extremely well with May (who at first wasn’t a fan of Tony) to the point they would have a few talks over the more humanitarian side that Stark’s Industries needed or any new project that had Pepper busy. Moreover, Pepper was always there for both Peter and you, after every mission or school project, she had managed to make time for the both of you, which was impressive being CEO of SI. Peter was sure that Pepper knew he had feelings for you since he first arrived, she would give him these looks and he was sure that they had talked about it with May. 

When you finally told both Tony and Pepper, she was there to help Tony get more relaxed about your decisions and she was the one that gave Peter permission to sleep on your bed when Tony didn’t feel very comfortable, she would keep him off your room for the time that you guys were together. 

So, when Peter saw Pepper again (since he hadn’t really spoken to her at the funeral) he felt his heart clenching on his chest, the ache didn’t go away as she watched her. He hadn’t said anything to Pepper since Tony had died, anything. He hadn’t acknowledged the women who acted as a mother to him, how much she must be suffering from Tony’s death, and now your sudden role as leader of the Avengers. 

“I have been leaving messages, Peter”, Pepper said sternly, pulling her blonde straight hair behind her ears and he was sure he winced at her voice. 

“I’m -I …”, Peter stumbled through his words as he tried to phrase how sorry he actually was. “I’m sorry Pepper”, he finally said. 

She stared at him; a blank gaze was drawn but after a few seconds her features soften as she looked at the shy chocolate eyed boy. 

“It’s okay”, Pepper muttered giving him a light smile as she patted him on the shoulder and pulled him in for a small hug, which was short-lived as Pepper quickly turned to see Harry awkwardly standing there. “Harry, I’ll take Peter away but you can wait for her in the living room”

Peter watched Harry carefully who seemed dumbfounded at their recent interactions but as soon as Pepper talked to him he straightened himself and cleared his throat, giving her a charming smile. 

“That would be perfect”, he replied with a nod, muttering a quick ‘thank you’ before he turned around and walked to the couch again. 

Peter felt like a masochist as his eyes followed Harry, analyzing the way that he walked and wondered how you two actually looked like but Pepper didn’t give him much on an opportunity to ponder on his suffering from you. Quickly, walking away and telling Peter to follow her which forced Peter to remove his eyes from Harry who was taking a seat of the large living room again. 

“So, how have you been?”, Pepper said as soon as they got enough distance from the living room, the only sound on the hallway was the clicking of her heels. 

Peter smiled tightly at Pepper; he was not okay but he didn’t want to have any sort of conversation with Pepper where he would be the one to feel bad for himself. Not when Pepper had lost Tony. 

“I’m okay”, Peter lied.

Pepper contemplate him as she wrinkled her nose, “Well, you don’t look okay, Peter. Have you been sleeping?”, she replied as they got to her office. 

Peter wanted to answer and assured her that he had been sleeping and feeling well, happy to be back and grateful with Tony who had died for him to be there. But nothing came out, he simply shut his mouth and nodded.

“Yes, that was what I imagined”, Pepper chuckled as she opened the door. “Come in, I have to introduce you to someone”, Pepper said. 

Peter stood there for a few moments when Pepper moved, she could see the tiny human that was laying down in fairly modern and beautiful playpen. The toddler wiped her head around as soon as she heard Pepper and Peter and he felt like crying when her big-doe-brown eyes locked with Peter’s. 

Peter had not paid much attention to Morgan at the funeral, he was thinking only about you. He guessed that he would meet her eventually after you talked but it never happened. Nonetheless, he could tell that the little child was the spitting image of Tony Stark, Peter could tell that she was going to be smart beyond her years just like you and Tony and that she would have both of your wits and humor. 

“So, you want to meet your goddaughter?”, Pepper muttered as she looked sweetly at Peter.

Peter’s eyes opened like plates.

“Am -I am her godfather?”, Peter stuttered as he entered the large office and walked towards baby Morgan who watched him intently. 

“Yes, Tony wanted you to be the godfather and so did y/n”, Pepper answered and Peter felt her heart-warming, not even looking at Peter quickly kneeled to say hi to Morgan.

Peter didn’t know Morgan, he was afraid she was a little apprehensive because of how rapid he had kneeled and offered his hand to her. 

“Hi baby Stark”, Peter whispered at Morgan, who quickly responded with a wide toothy smile and she giggled. 

Opening her arms, she signaled for him to grab her from her playpen, and Peter followed suit at her request with a smile. She was as light as a feather to Peter, almost lighter and he easily placed her on one hand as she took a hold of his face and began examining him closely while Pepper watched wistfully. 

“Peter!”, Morgan suddenly blabbered and Peter was stunned, he wiped his head quickly to Pepper who laughed at his reaction while Peter chuckled too. 

“How -uhm?” Peter began but was cut off by Pepper. 

“Tony told her stories about you, so did y/n”, Pepper explained as she walked towards the large white sofa in her office and patted the space next to her for Peter to sit down. “Y/N wanted her to know who you were, so for the night stories she would often tell her about you and her.”

Peter felt his heart on his throat as he heard Pepper’s words. Every word that came out of her mouth was exactly what Peter wanted to hear, he was holding on to any hope for you and him, although deep down he knew he had to respect your choice, whether he liked it or not. 

 “I know that you are not okay Peter”, Pepper sighed, a woeful expression drawn on her face. “I’m so sorry you had to find it this way and everything that happened”

Peter nodded, trying to hold on to whatever sense of stability he had on him but it was useless as his eyes locked with Pepper, who had seen him both at his best and his worst. Peter sank on the couch as he placed baby Morgan on his chest who kept playing with his features, he felt like he had exhausted all his tears the last few weeks. 

“It’s just… everything hurts when I think about Y/N”, he whispered, his voice breaking. “I thought that… I just can’t deal with her choice”

“It was not entirely Y/N decision”, Pepper quickly said as her hand quickly ghosted his arm. She looked down biting her lip, Peter could see she was unsure of what she was going to say. “But you can’t understand how broken she was without you.”

Peter sniffle causing Morgan to stop playing with his features and watching him carefully, finally turning away from him to face Pepper. 

“Mommy, what happened?”, Morgan’s tiny voice made Peter’s heart skip a beat. She was so smart already and he let a genuine smile out. 

Pepper smiled too as she picked Morgan from Peter. “Uncle Peter is a bit sad, that’s all”, she explained, and then her eyes returned to Peter’s. “The first six months after the snap she just… she shut down Peter. We didn’t see her and nothing could get her out of that bed. We were so worried about her for months, we didn’t even know if she was going to make it. ”

“What?”

Peter had seen you after the fact, he had heard you when you said that you didn’t forget him and how Harry expressed how important he was for you, but he never expected you to be so lost without him. Peter always believed you were the stronger one on the relationship you had, he was the one following you like a puppy since he first met you and from then on, his feelings just grew to a point that when he finally kissed you and told you his feelings, he was sure his heart was going to explode. He had harbored his feelings for so long, he struggled to maintain them in a line when they were finally out. But you, you were so elegant and delicate with your feelings for Peter. He knew you loved him but being trained by spies from an early age may be helped you conceal your feelings longer or because of your personality, you seemed to be the master of limits. Peter never picture that you would fall apart so badly without him. 

“I’m not going to tell you that you aren’t allowed to feel that way”, Pepper continued, clearly shuddering at the memories of you at the time. “But I just want to say that you should forgive her because this world wouldn’t be right if you two aren’t together, at least as friends and partners”.

Peter stayed silent for a few seconds. It felt like the poisonous anger and the debilitating sadness that had overcome his body the last few weeks were being dissipated by Pepper’s words. The common anxiousness that overwhelmed Peter was neutralized by a second as he quite literally felt like he could face all his emotions, trying to immerse in processing the new information. He realized that you may not have done what he would do, he realized that being angry about the fact that he had snapped and you didn’t wouldn’t help anybody, he realized that not talking to you was being more hurtful for both of you. He realized that if he claimed to love you so much, he would be there unconditionally and he felt ashamed he hadn’t. 

Peter nodded, finally embracing every feeling he had and confronting himself. 

“I under-”, were the only words that Peter managed to get out of his mouth before the hairs in his arms quickly stood-up, he could feel the goosebumps erupting in his whole body as his head snapped at the windows that reached both the ceiling and the floor. 

He stood up without a word as Pepper watched bug-eyed, holding Morgan a little bit tighter. 

“Whats happe-”

Screamed began coming from the streets, they filled the room, and then a roar shook the city.

TAGLIST: @erindanus@spideylovin@zlamaneserca@bethanystan@cedricisnotonfire@eridanuswave@babebenhardy@lyzalovealk

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for the both of us (p.p.) | 4

summary: peter finally realizes he has questions about him and y/n that demanded answering. 

note: there is one scene in here that was inspired by Laurie and Amy in the recent Little Women movie adaption! maybe you can spot it ;) Also this feels really long to me so enjoy!

part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4

||.

I had been spending equal amounts of time in Queens as I did at the compound. When I was at the compound Y/N and I would spend all of our time together. It was really nice—most of the time. We were making up for lost time. 

The best part of it all was that it felt like I was falling for her all over again every day. It was on one those days when we were awoken from our nap on the couch by Mr.Stark.

“Look who finally decided to wake up, the lovebirds” He said sarcastically as we both sat up sleepily. 

“Hey Dad, what’s up?” 

“A couple of things. First of all-no more of whatever this is—” He gestured between me and Y/N

“We’re just friends, Dad” She rolled her eyes at him. There was that reminder again—just friends.

“Yeah, sure, ANYWAYS. Stark Gala is in a few days. Don’t forget to pick up your dress with your mom later. Underoos, you’re coming right?”

“Yes-“

“Good. You can invite your friend, Nate? Nick?”

“Ned-“

“Right. Invite him. Y/N’s boyfriend is coming too. Oh by the way, said boyfriend has been calling you” Mr. Stark handed Y/N her phone and walked away. 

“Shit-“ She said seeing three missed calls from Harry. She immediately called him back and made her way to her room before I could even process what was happening. 

“Hey H, no yeah I’m fine! What was I doing? Oh I just fell asleep. “ 

I heard her say into her phone as her voice got further and further away. I sighed deeply and threw my head back in frustration. 

This was what I meant by it was nice “most of the time”. This was a time when it wasn’t nice. Sometimes I would forget that she was still dating Harry. She didn’t really talk about him with me, but I knew that was not just a coincidental thing. 

I talked to Ned a couple times about that. He told me that I should be glad she wasn’t talking about him. Should I be glad? I didn’t really know. What I did know: 

  1. I loved her. I wanted to be with her. 
  2. That doesn’t really matter when she has a boyfriend. 

I’ve done what I could to respect their relationship. I really have! For the most part. 

I didn’t ask about Harry. I didn’t show up unannounced to her house or her school especially since I knew / if I knew he was there.  

But I also didn’t ask when she’d spend the night at my apartment or in my room at the compound. I didn’t ask when she woke up in my arms or when we spent the whole morning like that. 

It was that day—just days before the Stark Gala and after too many days of not asking —that I decided it was time to start asking questions. So I made my way back to Queens wondering how the hell I was gonna approach her about this. 

||. 

The day of the Stark Gala finally arrived. I put on the new tux Mr. Stark had sent over for me and got to the compound early at Y/N’s request so we could arrive to the event together. I took a deep breath and knocked on her door. 

“Come in!” I heard from the other side. 

When I walked into the room there she was. Standing there as gorgeous as always but somehow even more so as she looked at me. 

“Peter! You’re finally here! Can you help me lace up the rest of the back of my dress?” She turned around and pointed to it before facing me again. “I can’t reach.” 

I hesitated before agreeing. As I laced up her dress we stood in silence but something about it was so deafeningly intimate. 

Once I was done she looked at me and thanked me. 

We were still standing there in as I just quietly  stared at her. 

“What?” She asked me in response to my staring. 

I moved a strand of hair out of her face and put it behind her ear. 

“You’re beautiful.” I said looking at her again. Our eyes met but she started blushing and looked to the ground. 

 I didn’t just love her. I was desperately, hopelessly, in love with her. I think I knew that even before she was here, with me, in her fanciest dress looking elegant as ever. Whether it was when I kissed her for the first time or the first time I woke up with her next to me—I knew. It just took me awhile to actually see that. 

She cleared her throat and eventually broke the silence.

“We should go now. Wouldn’t want to keep Happy waiting again.” She then rushed out the door with me following closely behind. 

||.

When we got to the venue it was awhile before the gala was in full swing. Y/N and I hung out with Ned—no Harry to be seen. She seemed unbothered by it and that was okay with me. 

We danced and laughed our way across the floor. Neither Y/N nor I was very graceful or had the best rhythm but I didn’t mind her stepping on my toes. I tried to soak up the moment as much as I could wanting to remember her smile, until Harry showed up. 

“Can I cut in?” He asked 

Y/N let go of my hands and engulfed her boyfriend in a hug. 

“Peter, you remember Harry right?”

“Peter, it’s been a long time! I was so happy to hear about your safe return.” He stuck out his hand and I shook it forcefully causing Y/N to throw me a stern look. Harry was always nice, friendly, and charming. It made it hard to hate him. 

I let them dance as I watched them with Ned. He tried to remind me that things were going well so far between me and her, but then a slow song came on. But it wasn’t just any slow song—it was the song. The song me and Y/N deemed ours after dancing to it at Prom before I left. 

I was upset and I was easily being dramatic. But it just reminded me of everything we were almost a year ago and that I had questions I needed answers to. 

Ned told me that this wasn’t the time for it but I didn’t listen to him. After the song was over I pulled Y/N outside to talk to her. 

“How can you bring him here, dance with him to our song, and expect me to be fine? Am I supposed to just turn a blind eye?” 

“Peter, please now is not the time. “

“I’m sorry Y/N, but If we don’t do this now we never will. We are supposed to be together, Y/N! I love you! When did that stop being enough?” 

“It’s not about that, Peter. Am I just supposed to just forget the last nine months you were gone? Forget about the people that came into my life when you weren’t here?” 

“No of course not but-“ 

“No, Peter, listen to me!  We aren’t getting the nine months we lost back. I wish we could but we can’t. You keep expecting me to throw away the nine months that I lived without you, for what? Because you don’t like the idea of me with someone else? Can’t I just have my best friend back?”

I had had enough of that reminder. 

“You and I both know we were more than just best friends before I left.” 

“You were never one for labels…” She said falling silent. 

“Y/N, are you serious right now?”I asked angrily 

“I don’t know Peter! I don’t know! Okay? I’m confused by everything, you, Harry. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do! do know I don’t want to do this anymore. I don’t want to just throw away the last nine months when I don’t even know what they meant. And I especially don’t want to fight. Not with you.” 

She started to walk back into the building but froze at my next words.

“We made a promise. Did that mean nothing to you?”

“Peter.” She turned to face me and gave me a look that said that I needed to choose my next words very carefully. 

“If we are just “best friends”, did it mean nothing to you when we promised we would always figure things out together? Or when we kissed each other for the first time? What about when we lost our virginities to each other on your 17th birthday? And all the nights we spent together after that?” 

“Peter that’s not fair. “ Tears started falling from her eyes. “You know how much all of those things mean to me. “

“Do I? You’re right, Y/N. We can’t get back the last nine months. And if you really love Harry, I’ll back off. I won’t ask you to choose. I didn’t mean for you to choose in the first place, ‘cause I get it, I do. I was gone for a long time. You shouldn’t have to erase the last nine months. I’m not asking you to.

But we’d be lying to ourselves if we said we were only ever friends. I tried to give you your time and space to figure this out, you told me you were going to figure it out on your own. I respected that. But now I have questions that need answers. 

I can’t stand here any longer, in love with you, and watch you with someone else and not know. What about the two years before I left? What about the last two months I’ve been back? You deserve to be happy, I want you to be happy! But can you be happy with me? Do you love me?”

She was silent as she wiped away tears. 

“What happened to honesty always, Y/N?” I scoffed at her and started to walk towards the street. 

“Peter don’t leave, I don’t know how to do this without you.” She begged. My heart broke that I caused her tears but it was time we stop pretending nothing happened. 

“That’s the thing, Y/N,” I said as I saw Ned appear behind her with a confused look on his face “we never doing this together.” 

I made my way further down the empty street looking back at her one more time. She was crying in Ned’s arms. He could still see me and he mouthed “what happened?” to me but I kept waking. 

We should have figured it out together. Maybe we still could. But she didn’t love me. And I couldn’t force her to anymore.

||. 

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