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#spilled feelings

He told me he felt at peace with me and as my lips painted his face he told me he has almost said he loves me. He asked me if that scared me and in truth it didn’t scare me at all, the thought of losing him terrified me though.


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You’re leaving.

Moving away. Or maybe you’re not, you’re not quite sure. Of course I will always look at you and tell you to follow your heart, you’ll never catch my voice shake. I want you to be happy, reguardless of if I am, and I know how guilty you feel. As if everyone’s happiness is your cross to bear. When you leave you will take the memory of me when you go. All the adventures we planned are still in motion, you shall go and my ghost will be there with you. When you hear the sound of the rain think of me and know, wherever I am, I’m thinking of you too.

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there will always be someone better.

it scares me to think that one day

you could just get up and leave;

you could find somebody more desirable.

i hope you know you’ll never find

someone who’s as delicate

with your heart as i am.

somebody who aches

to kiss every inch of you.

someone who just wants you to know

how beautiful you are

i hope one day you’ll be able to see

that nobody will love you 

the way i do.

late night thoughts about you.//l.w

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i think ultimately it begins with a candle
the sort of flickering thing we see in all those
ghostly movies, the vampire sagas, the aged dramas.
i think ultimately it begins with firelight
the warmth of the thing, the destruction
inherent in such beauty. and life, too. always life.
i think ultimately it begins with a girl and a ghost
and the flickering ephemerality of things such
as life.


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i very much fear everything that you’ve done to get me in the palm of your hand, i loved you but not the same way as it used to before. i used to imagine sunshine and flowers blossoming around you, the sounds of the waves hitting the rock or how they splash against our skin, how the leaves fall as if they’re floating and when we step on them they make a crunching sound—

you have given me peace but now everything you’re doing are the opposite.

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it’s frightnening how we can trust someone so easily yet at the same time we don’t,

the little bubble we have put up against ourselves has popped and here, we are introduced to another sensation we’ll come to regret later on.

or never,

we’ll never know.

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Really? You still wanna spend your life with that piece of shit? The same piece of shit who made up with you because he’s using you as a safety net to rebound from me?

You’re fucking hopeless. If you’ll respect and love someone like that, you have a weakness that forces a sneer of contempt. I don’t make that face often but oh boy, you really bring it out of me.

Weak women…I can’t help but feel disgust. Stop holding on to his legs as he drags you like a fucking ball and chain through life. Stop disrespecting yourself to accommodate men who don’t respect you as a person.

If you’re blind, you’re blind. Lord knows I can’t help you. You want to live with this flippant swine in asexual, boring harmony? Be my guest.

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You’ll never know just how many ways you hurt me, because you’ll never know just how much I loved you so damn much.


- now you know

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