I think the hardest thing about having parents who didn’t express affection is letting yourself be loved. It took me a long time to realise my friends do want to spend time with me, celebrate my birthday, hug me when I achieve something.
My best friend tells me she loves me all the time and the world doesn’t end.
It feels revolutionary to embrace these acts of love even if it’s temporary, even if the people in my life aren’t forever.
“Missing you is complicated, because I’m not even sure it’s really you I’m missing. Maybe I just miss the warmth in the space between our skin, so close for a moment we felt like we were part of each other, but somehow it never felt like I was holding you tight enough. Maybe that’s why it was so easy for you to let go, because you always kept that space, as an insurance policy in case you ever decided to leave, no matter how badly I wanted you to stay.”
“Small Spaces” K.R.
every time I come to like someone, I wonder how long will it take for me to poison them with my darkness and how long it will take for them to run away..
I yearn for fall, for the soft gray skies for the cloudy fog days. I dream of trail covered in orange,red and yellow leaves. An hot cup of tea in my hands. Autumn please come fast
It’s kinda cool how someone can just pop into your life all of a sudden and become so important to you within such a small amount of time. I think that’s what makes life so interesting though. There’s always a reason to be hopeful for the future because you never know what good things will come your way next.
that stupid, naive little part of my heart always wanted it to be you.. even though i know. i know that you don't want it to be me.
you speak in jokes and my love spouts in laughter,
you fall ill and i pack my love in pills
and pour my love in bowls of soup,
you talk about the things that matter
and my love listens because so do you,
you grow angry and my love waits
in the space you need to come back calm,
you feel sad and my love sounds like concern,
but it looks like hugs that wait
for you to pull back first.
but sometimes my love comes in banter
because loving you is making you laugh louder,
and sometimes my love sounds frail
because i get sick too, so it looks like a flicker
when i promise i carry it like a torch
and sometimes my love doesn't listen,
sometimes my words gush in your presence
like a waterfall in a beautiful place
- you are the beautiful place
and sometimes my love gets angry too
so it pouts in a room
trying to love you more discreetly
and sometimes my love weeps,
because it aches in thoughts
that suggest to love you is to be more,
to love you is to be better
and loving you when i'm less than
feels like loving you less than you deserve.
- "spectrum of love"