I yearn for fall, for the soft gray skies for the cloudy fog days. I dream of trail covered in orange,red and yellow leaves. An hot cup of tea in my hands. Autumn please come fast
i'm telling you this because i'm struggling with it, too.
stop second guessing and doubting yourself. stop getting imposter syndrome while writing. stop comparing.
i know it's hard to stop, and this is a process i always struggle with. but it's awful when you get tunnel vision, seeing all the plot holes and every little grammatical error made. i open my wip's sometimes, and get such bad anxiety that i can't even write, because i'm so scared. it literally doesn't make sense, but it happens.
but learn to love what you write. grow attached to your characters, and write whatever you want. write for yourself first. and no matter what, whether it's one word or sentence that you wrote that day, be proud of yourself.
self validation and self care comes before a completed novel or mesmerizing characters.
Black and blue
I remember your lips
And the way I couldn't breathe
When I was next to you.
For some reason, you smiled,
You smiled as we locked eyes -
Black and blue
Like the sky before a storm,
It only lasted a few seconds
But it's taking me forever to forget
Because I have regrets about that day
I remember being sad and angry
And I couldn't find the strength to smile back.
It wasn't you,
I was at war with myself.
~ A. A. Roman
I promise you that there is no way that your life would be better with someone who doesn’t want to be in it.
One day, I'll be happy again.
And I'll forget everything about you.
One day, I won't have to hurt my heart for stalking you.
And even if I remember you, I will surely have no feelings for you anymore.
One time i read a quote that said " May you fall asleep in the arms of a dream, so beautiful you wake up crying", after that i remembered my beautiful dreams, like how i dream about our first date and what i will do.
the dream about how i hug you so tight and not with the friendly intentions.
the dream about how i hold your hand for the 1st time and how you fall asleep in my arms, and about me cooking for you.
The dream about how i kiss your lips so gently and taste them for the first time and then going back for more.
The dream that your first message is good morning, the last is goodnight, and i miss you in-between.
The dream where you pour into my hands all your secrets, and your fears aand me promising you that you don't have to worry again.
The dream where i get my new year's kiss and my birthday wish.
The dream where the i love you's are all their.
The dream where there is a universe we both end up together.
And then i woke up.
And i cried some more.
…and in that moment it dawned on me that I might not be deserving of love.
Untitled (Via @spilledinkandtears)
You said, that you'd be with me, you still say you're with me but why do I still feel lonely?, I feel more alone with you than I feel in that corner of my room, atleast I can trust the walls to say what I want.
And I shall beg myself for forgiveness, for allowing my body to feel, and my heart to trust.
Ultraromantically Suffering, 2022
Sometimes at the summit of tears
We might laugh!
It’s not the sensation in our minds
But the realization of triviality
That our tears are falling
on her last day
every piece of my existence
how could i ever love again
each atom in my body
grieves for her
to love someone so much
to give someone all that you have
her memory lives through me
i fear that
there is no life left for me
how could there be
when she is no longer here
to view the same sky.
A Heart of Grief // J.A.
The same sky
I lost too many days hoping I could rewrite the past
Make things different, save you, save me,
I went back to that place too many times
Only for the scars to reopen again
It's the same blood, can you still taste it?
It's the same dull pain in my eyes
This is the same sky under which you are growing,
But not me, oh not me.
~ A. A. Roman
"I listen to Hozier" is simply one more approach to saying "I read books and all I do is cry for fictional people."