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Duchess’s Pick: The Tudors 2x08.


So this series of post is not meant to criticise these shows buto to explore the worldbuilding & its details to help historical fiction or historical fantasy writers spot the inaccuracies within popular media. This episode was picked by @anomaly00


  • Tudor Men always wore hats. Eddy Seymour is rocking one in the first minute of the episode.
  • His sister is just wandering around with some jewels in her hair and her tits on show. Nah. She’s unmarried so hair down is a good mark but where’s your headdress, young lady? (1:35)
  • Anne should not be wearing her hair down or uncovered. (3:00)
  • Also Jane no bow? And are you going to keep your cloak on while serving your Queen? The level of disrespect… (3:40)
  • Ladies, that is a veil but you can see your hair. That just defeats the purpose (7:31)
  • Excuse you Thomas Wyatt. Why aren’t you laced up? You are not Colin Firth, please close your doublet (15:23)
  • Jane, why is your hair up? Have you married? No? Then put your hair down and wear a fucking hood. (15:52)
  • Henry Motherfucking Tudor where is your gorget? If that lance splinters and gets you in the neck, you will die. Die. Chainmail is not good enough, young man. (27:29)

Court Politics

  • William Brereton & Chapuys are just having a treasonous chat in the corridor with everyone around them. Chapuys do you want to be sent back to Spain tp explain to the Emperor that you’ve fucked up? Or die? (4:00)
  • My Pope, my guy. This is how you do politics. Use that fuck to do your dirty work, play to the people. (10:12)
  • Now, you shall spot a guard over the shoulder of Henry Norris. He is doing exactly what he should be doing. The King must not be alone. (21:41)
  • This children is a feast. Everyone in attendance, chatting and eating. This is what a court looks like (37:58)


  • Also Ladies in waiting, this is a good enough attempt at gowns but we’re missing veils & proper sleeves. (2:00)
  • The King walks in to the herald’s cried warning so everyone has time to get ready. This is right. (3:41)
  • Henry’s just on his own? Where is is guards? His gentlemen? His fucking hat, where is it? (5:00)
  • Cromwell, no offense, but you call that a bow? Thatcher could do better (6:38)
  • And yes, Anne and other Queens often did this charity. Washing the feet of beggars and giving them money. (8:58)
  • Kneeling to Pope was OK. But Francis, no need to go so hard. I thought you fell 😂 (9:34)
  • The Great Hall was set like this but this is not supper. Everyone would eat together. The guys eating are just having a snack (15:12)
  • Jane, very nice curtsy here. Also you should only rise if given permission to, which she did so gold medal 🏅(16:50)
  • The King could never just sneak up on you like that. He’s meant to be surrounded by ar least a dozen gentlemen & guards. You’ll notice him coming. (25:38)
  • Mark would not have been allowed to hold her this way. He was a commoner. One doesn’t simply go hug a Queen. (29:01)
  • One would probably not lay a monarch on a table with some raw meat. But Jonathan Rhys Meyers is doing what he does best, looking like a goddamn meal😍 (30:31)
  • Sorry but nobody would tell the monarch not to do anything. Family may advise it but certainly not a common physician. My guy, no. (36:46)
  • And the Seymours are just gonna leave their unwed, potentially valuable daughter alone with Charles. First of all, nope. Second of all, that’s Henry Cavill, are you blind Lord Seymour? (37:22)
  • No announcement for Jane. Fire that groom (41:37)
  • This groom is so fired. Announce people for the love of God! We wouldn’t have #wenchingwithmistressseymour2020 (43:16)
  • Excellent service from the ladies here. One motion or sound and up from their seats they go. The very least expected of a lady or maid in waiting. (44:29)
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Sometimes it feels like the universe is playing with me for shits and giggles.

I just want to have the little things everyone else seems to have had for years. I’m not saying they’re without problems, but mine seem more fundamental in the sense that I just cannot have these things that make me happy.

I’m so scared of even admitting what I want, to say it out loud because I think as soon as the universe knows, something will happen to screw things up immediately. At least then my tears and disappointment don’t become entertainment or examples.

If you surrender defeat before the fight gets too intense then the actual defeat doesn’t hurt that much right?

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Gray morning, no striking sunrise. Only murky light that slowly gets brighter. Gauzy curtains and silence.

It rains so often here for it never being in the forecast. Although it’s not begun this morning yet. It’ll come eventually, it always does. I really do need a better raincoat.

I enjoy these quiet, solemn mornings. They may not have the dramatic spotlights of sunbeams and the singing of an avian choir.

But they are mornings of reflection, a mirror into how I really feel. Today? At peace. A window into my thoughts. A heavy blanket of sleepy epiphanies. I never know my own mind as well as I do on these mornings.

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Gets lonely

I come up for air

Find less and less O2 to share

Amongst fewer people each dare


Driven away

Dive down

Return a little deeper every day

Hale lungs

Orbital spun

Foster faster centrifugal winding

To the ocean’s floor

Rapt opining

Turns out I was on a string

This radius shortening

Each cast

Every wrap around the sun


Maureen Armstrong @haikkun

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When the night feels too long again and I start drowning myself in chasms of emptiness; I’d think of you.

I’d think of you when it becomes hard to inhale and I’d think of you when the spirits dissappear into the thin air.

When the moon decides to fade away in the pale morning sky; my lungs would swell without my knowing.

And I’d whisper to your image in my head “Don’t feel no remorse”. Don’t feel no remorse; please.

“Please forgive me” you said.

I do.

I do, when the morning glories bloom and the birds start flying to the east; I do.

And likewise, almost out of routine, I’d run down the memory lane as I shut my eyes to sleep; and kiss you in my dreams.

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Simple joys

Leave an ash mouth taste

Rotten perfume once sweet

The memories of a lost childhood

And memory and time so wasted

Again I am a child

Abandoned and confused

Laughter exchanged for tears

Then rage

And surely I am mad with grief

My mind crumbles along with your life

Your pain and strife may cease

But I will linger as a ghost

Numb and blank eyed



I have died with you

Yet carry on

As you would have me do

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“i love you,” he said
“you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me,” he said
“you’re the one for me,” he said

i only had to look into his eyes
to know that his words were genuine

i held his hand as he spoke
traced the curves of his face,
his neck,
his chest.
i pulled him closer,
kissed his cheek softly,
breathed him in
and held on to him with all i had

i created intimate moment after moment
but no matter what i did,
no matter how hard i tried,
i could not make myself feel the things he felt for me.

it was in these moments
that i realized i was clinging on
when i should have been letting go.


“why are you doing this to me?,” he cried
“do you have any idea how much this hurts me?,” he cried
“but i love you!,” he cried
“do you know how much you mean to me?,” he cried
“you’re putting daggers in my heart,” he cried

“please,” i begged, “i just want you to be happy”
“i was happy with you!,” he cried.

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𝐈 𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐨𝐤𝐞 𝐮𝐩…

❝𝐈 𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐨𝐤𝐞 𝐮𝐩

𝐌𝐲 𝐬𝐩𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐭 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐲𝐞𝐝 𝐬𝐥𝐞𝐞𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐠,

𝐥𝐚𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐧 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐦 𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐬𝐬.

𝐈 𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐟𝐞𝐥𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐠𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐬,

𝐜𝐮𝐭𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐦𝐲 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐬,

𝐬𝐜𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐦𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐚𝐭…

𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐈 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐝𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐧 𝐆𝐨𝐝'𝐬 𝐜𝐫𝐲𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐥 𝐞𝐲𝐞𝐬

𝐭𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐇𝐢𝐬 𝐡𝐚𝐢𝐫 𝐨𝐟 𝐬𝐮𝐧,

𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐄𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐡 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐞,

𝐭𝐨 𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐚𝐥 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐝 𝐰𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐨 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐬𝐨𝐧.

𝐇𝐨𝐰 𝐛𝐞𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐢𝐟𝐮𝐥 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐆𝐨𝐝'𝐬 𝐬𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐞,

𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐇𝐞 𝐬𝐚𝐰 𝐦𝐞,

𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐦𝐲 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐮𝐩,

𝐛𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐇𝐢𝐦, 𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐦𝐲 𝐡𝐲𝐦𝐧.

𝐈𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐚 𝐡𝐲𝐦𝐧 𝐨𝐟 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧,

𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐚𝐬 𝐈 𝐬𝐚𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐰𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐝𝐨𝐰𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐤𝐲,

𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐝𝐞𝐯𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐥𝐢𝐚𝐫𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐟𝐨𝐨𝐥𝐬, 𝐥𝐞𝐟𝐭 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐝

𝐠𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐦𝐲 𝐬𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐚 𝐧𝐞𝐰 𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐠.

𝐎𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐬 𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐰,

𝐢𝐭𝐬 𝐫𝐨𝐨𝐭𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐝 𝐢𝐧 𝐩𝐨𝐢𝐬𝐨𝐧.

𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐞𝐞𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐓𝐫𝐮𝐭𝐡.❞

𝐁𝐲: 𝐦𝐞. 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬, 𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐦𓄃.

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“You are a wish and your kisses are a dream with your smile dripping like everything that I need..”

I need a lot of you cuddling on the couch and your mouth on my neck - eUë

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This once

when i look at your words

written to me with a flavour of passion

I am willing

to make an exception

to trust someone is difficult

if not close to impossible

but this once

I am overwhelmed

this is not a game

a try out of feelings

you are in love with me

I know now

it just feels so strange

like a bird that should have left

in winter but now needs to come

to terms with a situation it has not

met before


@sharkygiovanna 🗿🗿2020

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Thief of Goodbyes

untimely passing impossible to have known in time for goodbyes

with this you must live for the rest of your grieving until shines the light

our fate isn’t fair regardless of the effort you wish you had made


3in1 haiku #331


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