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#spilled writing
anotherlxve · 2 days ago
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It took me so much strength to open up my heart and let you in. And now that I finally did, I notice you pulling away from me. Just when I get attached to you, you don’t want me anymore. And this is, yet again, another reason for me to never open up my precious heart for some sweet words from a guy. Even when I think this one might be different.
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She reads the last line of books before the first. And something about that gets you back into reading. And you wonder if it has something to do with the fact that if you start everything with its last words there will never be an ending.
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iambrillyant · a day ago
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“there are versions of you that didn’t know better and deserved better, but hold a space of gratitude for those versions instead of resentment. you needed to be who you were in those moments to give you awareness of what you should accept and what you shouldn’t be accepting now.”
— iambrillyant
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I think, in your effort to love me I broke something within you.
You wanted me to accept you loved me so desperately.
Only I was incapable-
Critically limited when it came to being loved.
Yet you tried so bitterly.
Now I wonder if loving me was the most painful thing you have done.
- I do not regret knowing you, I regret making you love me.
- [i.r.] //[09.24.21]
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hallucinated-desires · 2 days ago
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No One is Waiting For Me
As I come home with a heavy back
I don't see anyone waiting for me at the gates,
Only shadows of myself welcoming my fate.
The train line passes across my house
My bedroom resides in a dark corner
Pieces of blade grow from my palms
Each day, growing closer to my throat.
The gallows far away scare me to death.
Death-
- a quick nap is much needed.
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melloncolliegalaxies · a month ago
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sometimes i feel more like a house than a person with the way i decorate my body and my face to hide damaged walls and empty spaces; my heart is more like a door with changed locks because i've made multiple keys for people who walked all over me with filthy shoes, people who said they could live here, but they were just passing through. i hope my eyes are not windows, because i fear what the world might see—all of my flaws and insecurities on display like a coffee table or some shoddy love seat. sometimes i swear i left the oven on and forgot because my mind feels like a smoke detector with the way my apprehension never calms. i smell smoke, but i can't see it; i'm told things are never as bad as i make them, but every wildfire starts with a spark and it's easy to burn when you're a house made of straw.
- "house made of straw"
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letsmakeitwritee · 8 months ago
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13 things i learned in 2020
nothing stays the same. without a moment's notice, everything can change and leave you wondering what the hell happened. living in the present and appreciating the small things is important because nothing else is guaranteed or permanent.
we humans are not as important as we believe ourselves to be. when the bee dies so do the flowers. when we die the flowers grow back. if we are to build a better future, we must give back to the planet by changing the ways we live on it.
time is not real. there is nothing in the laws of physics that can prove it is anything other than a human construct.
power of the people will always outweigh the people in power. the 1% are scared of us realising this and acting upon it.
home is more of a person than a place. the way i see my family has changed. all that other stuff i thought i wanted when the true treasure was here all along.
distance does not lessen the value or strength of true friendship.
self-care is by far the most important skill to learn in life. being aware of my needs, how things effect me, and eliminating harmful inputs has gone a long way in improving my physical and mental health.
social media does not offer an honest or healthy way in which to view the world. like a toxic friend, it uses our desires and insecurities in all sorts of manipulative ways. being able to take a step back and reconnect with the real physical world can be both invigorating and revelatory.
simple acts of kindness cost nothing but are as precious as gold dust.
eye contact has become a new form of communication. with masks hiding half of our faces we have no choice but to look at each other's souls. we see each other more now and we offer strangers in the street smiles from our eyes rather than our mouths.
being lonely doesn't mean we're alone. everyone is going through something. even if they don't show it.
laughter is the closest thing there is to magic. watery eyes, burning chests and aching ribs from laughing too much are the most wonderful feelings in the world.
i am much more resilient and capable than i thought i was.
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I once begged someone to love me the way I loved them and that’s the saddest thing I’ve ever done.
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cobwebs-and-clutter · a month ago
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“Wow,” I say, “Olympians are really so far beyond the capabilities of a normal American person!”
You look up to see what amazing feat has been accomplished. It is Simone Biles, taking a responsible mental health break to prevent herself from getting injured for people who don’t care about her.
“What?” you say. You thought you’d be seeing something exceptional. “Shouldn’t that be normal and perfectly acceptable?”
In the corner, capitalism is sweating.
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iambrillyant · a month ago
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“there will be days when disappearing feels lighter than showing up, days when silence shifts you more than words, days when solitude fills your cup more than anyone else’s presence. there will be days when you need you more than anything else, and there is nothing wrong in that.”
— iambrillyant
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