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#split attraction model
aroaceconfessions · 4 days ago
To anon who doesn't understand SAM,
I don't know about everyone's experiences or whatever, but I for one differentiate my aesthetic attraction from my asexuality and aromantism because it felt confusing.
I find girl's bodies really pretty but I don't feel anything like lust or love or anything. This is not sexual orientation, because I don't wanna f*ck them. This is not romantic attraction, because I don't wanna date them. This can only be aesthetic attraction because aaaah pretty and I can just stare like nobody's business because ma'am you're beautiful
Separating aesthetic attraction and sexual/romantic attraction helped me make sense in my own head kinda if I make some semblance of sense, and now I feel valid as an oriented aroace person. Before I discovered this notion, I was upset because I felt alienated and I didn't fit in with anyone.
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aroaceconfessions · 4 days ago
This might be rude to many people in the community but the concept of asexuality and aromanticism being entirely different with no connection with one other is seriously harming aroaces.
A few days ago I saw a meme with select your sexuality and has listed all sexualities except asexuality listed in it and an asexual asking where do they fit in and all someone in the reply is like just tick your romantic orientation (click heterosexual if you hetroromantic) completely ignoring asexual people who are aromantic also exist.
In another place where asexual people's experiences was asked, I saw someone complaining about aroace's experiences being incorrect because it included both asexual and aromantic experiences. Sorry, but for many aroaces their asexual and aromantic parts affect the same way and they find it difficult to distinguish from one other and that does not make their experience less asexual.
Many people, in their way to convince that asexual =/= aromantic, forget to mention that there are people who are both and a person first introduced to the concept will assume that people who are both aromantic and asexual don't exist. I have seen many instances of this.
Yes, the voices of people who are alloace or alloaro matters so does the experience of aroaces (and of non-SAM folks etc)
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lutece-mess · 5 days ago
Hey is it weird to have a pride flag that you dont use in your icon? I wanna make a pride icon of me and hypnos but I headcanon him as pan and I'm bi and I dont know if that would make people think I'm bi/pan?? Or would it be obvious enough that im bi and hes pan if its split where we are
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virginvengeance · 5 days ago
‘can we include sex-repulsed aces in the gay flag’ yo;’ure fifteen
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dykexclus · 8 days ago
Wait the SAM works by separating romantic and sexual attraction, right? And allosexual is the opposite of asexual? Does that mean that, for example, instead of being an allo bisexual, you'd be biromantic allosexual? Is that how the SAM is supposed to work??
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aroaceconfessions · 9 days ago
My aromanticism has always felt so much more important to me than my asexuality. Like. I would describe myself as aro, or aroace, but i dont really feel comfortable just calling myself ace.
It might be because i never really saw the importance in sex, but idealized the idea of romance? But my aro identity feels more relevant to who i am, and ive had to spend a lot more time coming to terms with my internalized arophobia, compared to ang internalized acephobia.
So i kind of vibe with the idea of non SAM, but im not entirely sure id call myself that? Because being ace does shape my experiences a ton.
Ideally i think id call myself just aro, or aro... oh and also ace
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shmaroace · 10 days ago
a mini-dictionary of aspec terms!
aspec - shortened term for aromantic and asexual spectrums
arospec - shortened term for just the aromantic spectrum
acespec - shortened term for just the asexual spectrum
allosexual/alloromantic (allo) - someone who experiences sexual/romantic attraction
alloaro - shortened term for someone who is arospec but still experiences sexual attraction (ex. aromantic bisexual)
alloace - shortened term for someone who is acespec but still experiences romantic attraction (ex. asexual heteroromantic)
aroace - shortened term for someone who is arospec and acespec.
split attraction model (SAM) - represents sexual and romantic attraction separately. mostly used by aspecs (ex. aroace, bi/ace, pan/aro, etc.). occasionally used by non-aspecs (ex. biromantic heterosexual).
non-SAM aro/non-SAM ace - an arospec or acespec who chooses not to use the SAM. non-SAM aro is more common.
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nightmare-cubed · 11 days ago
By the way if your argument against anything queer is “it’s confusing” you are actually part of the problem
If your argument against anything queer is “it’ll confuse new queers” you are actually part of the problem
If your argument against anything queer is “it’ll confuse allocishets” you are ABSOLUTELY actually part of the problem
You don’t have to understand something for it to be important
New queers will be going on a journey to find themselves, let them do that and don’t hold them back
Allocishets don’t deserve us pandering to them, other queer people aren’t to blame if they use our identity as a weapon against you
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mimikyufriend · 13 days ago
besties, I can't do this </3
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werewolfcutie · 14 days ago
Can not believe that saying that people cant be bi and a lesbian at the same time is a callout-worthy offence on this site lmao
Ive been seeing lesbians and bi women getting harassed about it like all day??
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