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beardycarrot · 4 years

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Alright! Now that I’ve finished Aliens Ate My Homework (kids’ books really are just a couple hour read for an adult, huh?), I have in mind some things that I think are important for the movie adaptation to stick to.

The look of the characters should be the easiest thing to nail... their outfits probably won’t match what’s described in the book (movies always feel the need to change that in some capacity), but I don’t really care about that. What I’m more interested in is how they portray the less humanoid characters. Pong, Grakker, and Snout can all be played by actors in costumes, but Tar Gibbons is described as having a lemon-shaped body with four legs, a long neck, and a turtle-like head with bulging bug eyes; that’s gonna be a fully CG character.

The other is Phil, a potted plant. Basically a big stalk covered in leaves and vines, with a flower where a head would be, who moves around with thrusters on his pot. He has a symbiotic relationship with creature called Plink, described as kind of a blue cat-monkey. I really like how this illustration portrays it; even if it looks more like some kind of cartoonie bug, I would be perfectly happy if this is the design the movie goes for. These two are also going to be fully CG, so unless they base it entirely on the description provided for Plink, base its design on an illustration from another artist, or just do their own thing with it, I can’t imagine them finding a way to mess these designs up... but who knows.

BKR, the evil alien, should be interesting. He’s described as having blue skin, pale orange spikes covering his head (I was picturing maybe a dozen four-inch-long spikes, but the spike density could also be interpreted as covering his head like hair), and... otherwise, looking like Shirley Temple? That’s gonna be interesting, but this is also the character I expect them to take the most liberties with. I can’t say why... maybe just from experience with this kind of adaptation.

There are a few major plot points that I think they have to adhere to. First, that the good aliens’ ship is malfunctioning (the illustrations portray the ship as a traditional flying saucer, but I don’t think the design matters much) and they’re stuck shrunken to two inches tall until the end. That’s... basically the only reason for Rod, the protagonist, to be involved. The aliens need to repair their ship, so Rod has to carry them around to investigate BKR.

Secondly, they need to eat his homework. It doesn’t have to be the papier mache volcano and math assignment portrayed in the book, but, I mean, it IS the title of the movie.

Grakker and Snout have an unspecified relationship... Snout is very, VERY clearly based on Spock from Star Trek (in fact, I think the third book in this series is called The Search for Snout, a play on the third Star Trek movie, The Search for Spock), so it might just be a close friendship, but they share a room on the ship while everyone else has their own, so who knows. At one point it’s mentioned that they’re “bonded”. Potentially Gayliens. I don’t remember what their relationship is like in later books.

Next, Rod is incapable of lying. There definitely won’t be a flashback to the traumatizing-to-a-toddler reason for it, but that’s Rod’s defining characteristic: he doesn’t, and can’t, tell lies. Who knows whether that will be included.

Finally, Rod’s dad having been missing for quite a while isn’t a huge part of the story, but it does play an important role. Him lying to Rod’s mom strengthened Rod’s inability to lie (you’re not told what the lie was, but it’s implied that this was the night he left), and towards the end of the story BKR claims to know where he went, and implies that he’s no longer on Earth. I don’t remember if this is a plot point in future books, but Bruce Coville did something pretty similar in My Teacher Flunked The Planet, so it could be. This is the kind of thing that adaptations will just arbitrarily change, though, so who knows.

So! With all that out of the way, it’s time to watch the movie!

...Okay, first thing’s first, the opening credits of the movie are set to shots of a model solar system, so I’m assuming that’s the replacement for the volcano. I’ll allow it. Also, William Shatner is in this movie? What? As who?? The only adult male character in the story is an android of a man in his thirties, and he’s only there for what would amount to two minutes of screen time at the end. Rod’s grandfather is mentioned, but only once, in the context of “this is my grandfather’s farmland”.

Alright, definitely a modern setting. I guess the model isn’t for a science fair, instead being something Rod’s filming on his smartphone with his mom, twin siblings, and... his dad. Now, this looked like is was going to be an adaptation fail, but it turns out this was a flashback to the night he went missing. Clever!

Less clever is this abysmal color grading meant to represent a dark and stormy night, and the fact that they live in a cul-de-sac instead of being out in the middle of some farmland... but that’s not that significant of a change.

For some reason the story now takes place in the winter instead of mid-May, making me wonder where BKR (in the guise of Billy Becker) is getting the bugs to smash against Rod’s head. More importantly, as revealed at the end of the book, most intelligent life in the universe is about three feet tall, which is why BKR is pretending to be a kid while hiding on Earth. Instead of being a foot shorter than Rod, however, he’s now taller. Weird. Rod also now has his cousin Elspeth staying with his family for winter break, for... literally no reason that I can think of. Elspeth is a character from the second book in the series, but she wasn’t even mentioned in the first.

Grakker isn’t quite book-accurate, but not entirely inaccurate either... except for the color of his skin. He’s supposed to be green. What the hell. They whitewashed an alien. On the upside, the dialog in this scene is all pretty book-accurate. Unfortunately, they lose a lot of points with Madame Pong, who is supposed to be a very calm, understanding, zen character... but comes across as a little condescending. Also, this:

What? What?? Why did they keep this book dialog, when the house is VERY CLEARLY part of some kind of housing development area? I legitimately have no idea what they were thinking.

I also have no idea what’s going on here. Elspeth is... I guess looking through family photos on a computer? Ignore the subtitles, that’s from a weather report on tv. What I’m curious about is what exactly is going on in the photo. That’s clearly Rod’s dad, from three years ago... but recent pictures of the twins? Did Rod’s mom, who apparently runs a pet photography business, Photoshop a family ski trip that never happened? Is that what’s being implied here??

We’re then introduced to the rest of the aliens, and... wow, I can’t describe my disappointment. Remember how I said Tar Gibbons and Phil would be fully CG characters? Yeah, that, uhh... that didn’t happen. I was hoping they would do as much of this movie with practical effects as possible, but I meant that in the “get good SFX people” way, not the “do everything as cheaply as possible” way. They’re literally both just guys in suits.

Yeah sure eye stalks and a thick neck are absolutely the same thing as bulging eyes and a long neck. More importantly, look at that clearly human body with extra legs just kinda hanging off the hips. Phil is just as bad. You can’t really tell from still frames, but yeah, he has two vines with leaves coming off of his human-body-proportioned stalk at shoulder level and moves like a guy in a suit... and for some reason, his flower is split into halves so that it can be puppeteered to move like a mouth. Despite the fact that in the book his flower doesn’t even play a part in communication. They could’ve easily just installed a light inside the flower and explained that he communicates through pod burps, and would’ve been perfectly book-accurate. Why make this specific change. Also, if you’ve read this far, you’re probably wondering where Snout is. Yeah, uh. Me too.

Anyway, they appear to have combined the characters of BKR and Arnie into one person to simplify things (but then why introduce Elspeth??), and for no readily apparent reason, changed BKR, which is pronounced how you would expect, into B’KR, pronounced... b’car. For no reason.

Good GOD is this movie cheap. I appreciate the set they created for the top of Rod’s desk, with the giant pencil and such, and obviously they’re going to use a green screen for scenes like this... but it looks SO bad in motion. Like, see how the shot ends at his knees? That’s because he’s very obviously running in place, in front of a green screen. Also, why are sixth graders learning about the Drake Equation, which concerns the statistics relevant to intelligent alien life in the universe, in math class? I guess it’s technically a math topic, but not the kind of thing you’d learn in pre-algebra...and for comparison, Rod’s math homework consisted of single-digit multiplication tables, the kind of thing you do in like, second grade.

I’m also not fond of the degree to which Grakker is a comic relief character. Like... throughout the book, he’s completely strict and serious, and most of the comedy comes from Phil, Gibbons, and Rod. The first time you see genuine emotion from him is when Rod accidentally injures Snout, causing Grakker to hold him tenderly and shed a tear (again, potential Gayliens).

This is supposed to be the inside of a thick black canvas backpack. Am I crazy? Did I not see the Universal Studios logo at the start of this movie? Why does it look like the cheapest of cheap made-for-tv movies? Anyway. They appear to have given Snout’s ability to slow time to Madame Pong, which is worrying. Did they just... remove Snout, one of most important characters in the entire book series? To what end? To fit in all the stupid pointless Elspeth stuff? If they were hoping to make sequels to this movie, well... bad news, because again, the third book in the series is called The Search for Snout. Okay, I gotta know, is he actually cut from the movie or just a surprise reveal for later?

Alright, I am now officially dragging this movie. Also, I guess we now know where William Shatner fits in... I hadn’t even noticed it was him. Also Also, is that furry pink lump with one eye supposed to be Plink? Why all the arbitrary changes? Did they just decide that since they couldn’t fit a person inside of it, they would give it no limbs at all? Why is it pink??

Eyyy. Roll credits! Yeah, I wish... I’m only halfway through this thing.

They made Rod’s best friend Mickey Asian, which is fine, he’s a very minor character and never really described in the book... but unfortunately, they also decided to make him Data from The Goonies. He’s an inventor. Because he’s Asian. Coooool character, movie. So far it’s lead to an unfunny Coke and Mentos gag and an unfunny Pop Rocks and soda gag (which resulted in projectile vomiting). They cut Snout out of the movie to make room for this stuff, mind you. I’m sure this is building up to some kind of payoff, but I’m pretty sure I’m not going to enjoy it.

Speaking of payoffs, there seems to be an implication that there’s some kind of paranormal activity at Seldom Seen, the hidden field on Rod’s grandfather’s property, and at Rod’s school. I can understand the field, in this version Rod’s dad definitely seems to be involved with aliens in some capacity, and that’s probably where he was keeping a ship or something... but the school is kinda inexplicable. Like, it’s covered in snow... and it’s the only place in town that’s seeing snow. I can only assume it’s BKR’s... sorry, B’KR’s doing, but I’m not sure why. Did they decide that being blue means he’s from a cold planet, and requires it to be cold wherever he is?

No idea what’s up with some of these changes. Instead of BKR’s house being like an unlived-in model home, it’s... a complete sty. The exact opposite of the book. Why. Also, that coffee table is completely covered in video game consoles... GameCube, Dreamcast, PS2, N64... but Rod says he’s got “all the latest video games”. Does he? Does he really? Was that line in the script, so the crew just bought whatever they could find? As for BKR himself...

I mean, I don’t see Shirley Temple, but it’s not bad! Rod wasn’t trapped inside a pocket dimension inside a CRT tv when he took his mask off, but they wouldn’t have been able to manage that scene with this budget anyway. So far, this is the only alien design I fully endorse. There WAS a point to him having a cherubic face in the book, but it’s never addressed, only implied, and I get why they would make him look more menacing.

In the book, BKR didn’t really have any goals. He just enjoyed being cruel for the sake of being cruel, and was hiding out on Earth because it was unlikely they’d find him there. In the movie, B’KR intends to destroy Earth by opening a wormhole (which is what’s causing the snow), and the good guys have about an hour to save the planet.

They kept another of Snout’s abilities, the Vulcan Mind Mel-- er, knowledge transferal, but gave it to Tar Gibbons. This is literally the only thing he’s done in the entire movie. For the record, this was originally the scene where Snout connects their minds, but Rod is startled by it and pulls back, causing Snout severe psychic harm and prompting the aforementioned emotional response from Grakker.

...They just had to get William Shatner to say Klingon, didn’t they. The climax of the movie is all him flying around spouting (sprouting?) plant puns, then Rod throws a banana cream pie (which was, apparently, part of someone’s science project) at BKR’s face... and finishes him off with foam shot from his papier mache volcano. I guess the shrunken spaceship expanding inside of a house, causing the roof to collapse and knock BKR unconscious, was too expensive violent for the movie... but why is getting him messy a solution to anything? Ah well.

Bruce Coville himself has a cameo as the judge for the science fair, which is nice. I think he might be the principal of the school... I didn’t really notice in the scene featuring the principal earlier, since that happened to be the projectile vomiting scene. I can only imagine he was honored to have his work recognized in this capacity... he’s a good dude, I’m sure he wouldn’t be as horrified as I am with the writing and quality of it.

Also the movie ends with the reveal of the actual size of the aliens... which is, uhh. About the size of adult humans. Hrm. Guess they just straight up decided not to get anything right, huh? Oh, and they reveal that Rod’s father actually is a member of the Galactic Patrol. So, that’s a thing.

Please don’t say that. God, was this movie bad. I would understand if they were passionate about bringing the story to more people and just didn’t have much of a budget, or if they made changes to better suit a visual medium, but that... is not what they did. I’m not the kind of person that demands an adaptation remains 100% faithful; if you want the experience of the book, you can just read the book. This, however, changes so many things. Like, in the book, BKR’s crime is cruelty. That’s the message of the book... that in truly civilized societies, kindness is the norm, and needless cruelty is a criminal act.

The characters in the book all either have depth to them or are interesting as sci-fi concepts, but the movie... Gakker is Mr. Slapstick, Madame Pong is Cool Collected Female, Tar Gibbons is... I dunno, wisdom obscured by things that just don’t translate into English and saying Warrior Science a lot (honestly the closest to his book counterpart, though HE was more interesting and actually did stuff), and Phil... yeah, just William Shatner saying plant puns. Bleagh.

Well, despite that end screen, it’s good to know that we won’t be getting any sequels. I mean, like I’ve already mentioned, Snout going missing is a major plot point in the second book, and the third is literally called The Search For Snout. What are they going to do, just skip to the fourth book?

...Oh hey, George Takei.

#aliens ate my homework #bruce coville #long post

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kinetic-elaboration · 4 years

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July 9: Star Trek 1x05 The Enemy Within

Today’s ep: The Enemy Within. Overall this is a good ep, but I don’t know that I entirely agree with its thesis, and some parts of it are so uncomfortable that they mess with my general enjoyment.

Kirk, being encouraging of his crew: “That will make a good specimen.” I like how it’s just one line but there’s such confidence about him. They have to remind you of his normal self fast because he’s split for 99% of the episode.

Sulu: “That’s nippy.” I love Sulu.

So they just find an alien dog on the planet and decide to steal it? Lol your fav is problematic Enterprise crew.

(Like how they just never explained why they sent the dog up by itself later lol.)

I forgot that it was the ore that messed with the transporter. That’s a cool idea; makes sense. Alien ore gets in your system now weird stuff happens.

Evil Kirk appears and no one sees him--that’s why you don’t leave the transporter room unattended like Kirk said!!

Honestly imagine how wild seeing this when it first aired and not knowing much about Star Trek would be. Weird new sci fi show’s been on for a month and suddenly there are two Captains!! What!?!?

Even the way Evil!Kirk touches the ship is lascivious.

Bones is a good doctor. He really does have a good bedside manner; I don’t feel like people remember this about him enough.

He also keeps brandy in sickbay lol.

This scene with gratuitously shirtless Kirk and distracted Spock... it doesn’t look anything less like a porno in context honestly. I know Spock is supposed to be distracted because he’s hearing information that doesn’t make sense but Kirk is just so obviously turning on the flirt face (aka his usual face with Spock) and he’s shirtless so... the distraction is real and multi-faceted.

Ooh, Janice is an artist! I love her little rotating mirror thing.

This scene is so terrible. Really upsets me. Surely they could have found some way to portray ‘pure selfish id’ without going immediately to sexual assault.

Evil!Kirk wears so much eye makeup.

It’s interesting to me that Good!Kirk is so obviously not the real Kirk either, right from the moment he steps off the transporter. (Not to be that person again but Shatner is a better actor than people give him credit for being.)

Spock will save the day! I know that Rand calls for him because he’s First Officer but it’s still interesting that she goes for that name over, like, security.

Evil!Kirk is also where Kirk keeps all his dramatic tendencies.

I feel so bad for Janice in this scene. “What was I supposed to do? He’s the Captain.” Anyway this is why this is still a problem.

That dog omg.

“Set phasers to stun.”

“The search party is to capture you.” Yeah, that’s hard to explain. “Hey, crew, we’re going to play a little game of hide and seek. I’ll hide first.”

Man this conversation between Kirk and Spock. Leadership is one of my favorite themes in ST and Kirk is probably my favorite fictional leader of all time okay so this means a lot to me. “You don’t have the right to be vulnerable in the eyes of the crew.”

Spock is honestly just so on Kirk’s side, at every single moment. He believes him, trusts him, knows who he is, is loyal to him, is honest with him, knows how to handle him, how to care for him.

Spock likes the dog. He likes animals, in general.

The phaser vocab is so different this early on. “Base cycle.”

Good thing Kirk has makeup readily available to cover up his scratches.

My mom suggested transporting some blankets to the planet. But what if they split into evil blankets!! (Interesting that inanimate objects DO split too though.)

I feel like Kirk tried to do a Vulcan nerve pinch there lol.

“If I’m to be the Captain, I’ve got to act like one.” Immediately goes to a shot of his evil self climbing on equipment.

Spock: I always have a point.”

Spock listing out Kirk’s good qualities: his intellect, compassion, love, tenderness. Telling, lol. A lot of synonyms for how much he loves and admires Kirk. Kirk appreciation hour.

“If I seem insensitive to what you’re going through, Captain, understand: it’s the way I am.” I love this line, it’s perfect, because it has two meanings: how I am is unemotional, which causes me to seem insensitive; but also: I go through what you’re going through all the time, it’s how I am.

“Lower us down a pot of hot coffee or some rice wine.”

Poor Kirk, so many struggles, not enough snuggles.

There’s no way people could live through those temperatures in those clothes and not die. Sulu calling for room service. I love him. (Why did they drop his sense of humor in the movies???)

“A thoughtless, brutal animal... yet it’s me.”

I have a lot of mixed feelings about the main thesis of this ep. But. I do love that Kirk’s courage is in his good side.

And so much compassion....”Don’t hurt him. Don’t hurt my evil side.”

Poor animal. Goes through such a confusing experience. Then dies.

Second Officer Spock. I’ve seen people make a big deal out of this but it’s pretty obvious to me this is supposed to mean “Second in command.” As in Kirk is the “First Officer” as the Captain and Spock is second. He behaves in all ways as the second in command, right down to making that log entry at all.

The AOS verse should have rebooted this ep instead of Space Seed (I say every single episode). I mean, STID had as a theme “Kirk learning what it means to command.” That could be tied in! Also can you imagine, two CPines? Two??

Half alien Spock.

Jim’s compassion is paralyzing him.

Aaaand we’re back on the creepy train with Evil!Kirk.

Evil!Kirk doesn’t care about the crew at all. He can make decisions fast because he only cares about himself, so there’s always an easy answer.

Of course he and everyone else looks to Spock as the authority on Kirks.

Evil!Kirk knows he’s not the dominant one here, that re-combining with Good!Kirk means a certain ‘death’ or at least... being sent back to the depths.

Spock at the transporter as if this were even his department lol.

“I’ve seen a part of myself no man should ever see.”

That flirty face he gives Spock though oml. Get a room.

Ugh Spock’s last comment was so ragingly inappropriate. Hate it. But also, read it as an expression of his own extreme jealousy because he’s definitely a jealous person. Just put through the ‘sexist 60s man’ dialogue-writer translator.

So again, I like the idea of this ep and a lot of the details but the details I don’t like are......hard to ignore.

I liked that the bad side was dramatic, selfish, confused, entitled, and it made sense that he was violent and even lustful. And I liked that Kirk had such a hard time seeing that part of himself and acknowledging it. And I do think it's a good lesson/message that we need to understand our own worst impulses and that those impulses are part of us and maybe even tied to parts of us that we need. But the implication that everyone's a little rapey and that the events of this episode necessarily mean Janice has to work for someone she knows is inappropriately lustful toward her just... are really hard for me to entirely get over.

Honestly her reaction just really makes me so sad. And it annoys me that no one stands up for her, no one says that the Captain was wrong and she didn’t deserve that treatment, “imposter” or no. I guess that's what bothers me more than that Evil!Kirk went immediately to assault, b/c the idea IS that he is lustful, violent, and completely selfish. He cares about himself, his survival, his ship, what he owns, what he deserves. Maybe it is natural he would let the power go to his head and seek out someone who he knows he could manipulate easily into giving him something he wants. Maybe it's no different in a way from stranding the crew on the planet. But no one says "hey, that's wrong what he did. You're entitled to respect from the Captain." And I wish someone had.

I recognize this was made in 1966 and I do generally give ST credit within the context within which it was made, but I am a 2020 viewer and the ep certainly hits home given, you know, everything, so... just some thoughts.

Anyway, another thing I was thinking about during the ep was that I feel like I forget that Spock has two "warring halves" b/c he's half human. Because before he put it that way, I was thinking about how the war in him is between his natural Vulcan emotions and his Vulcan teachings. But now I wonder if the whole "Vulcans are super emotional" thing might actually be quite late in the canon, and initially they were intended to be naturally "emotionless.” But basically I don’t actually know how I headcanon the human and Vulcan halves of him interacting... You’d think I would lol but my take in haicg was really... pretty focused on the Vulcanness of him. I guess I thought of the human half as more of a cultural thing because physically, emotionally, psychologically, and physiologically he appears to be primarily Vulcan.

Talking about this more with my mom, it’s making more sense to me... it is cultural and it’s about expectations. He wants to “honor his father’s teachings” and be Vulcan. But he has a whole half, a whole side of his family, with different teachings and beliefs--what to do with them? When he’s around Vulcans, they are obsessed with his human side. When he’s around humans, they see him as fully Vulcan--which is much easier for him and why he seeks them out imo--but it also is a constant ignoring of part of him he feels guilty for ignoring. When McCoy tells him to be more emotional, does a part of him wonder if he should? For his mom? But then... Vulcans don’t choose to be logical for fun. It’s for safety, it’s for survival. So how can he do anything else but follow his father? Who he also doesn’t speak to for 20 years and has a super complicated relationship with! So it’s difficult.

Anyway. That was an emotionally intense experience for this human person. The next ep is Mudd’s Women, one of the weaker S1 offerings, but still a classic as per usual.

#the year 2020 #2020: star trek #2020: fandom thoughts #star trek tos

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