from dean’s perspective “i need you’ is bigger than “i love you”. love is complicated but it’s direct, he could love someone without having them in his life. but need? dean “mr. dependent, guarded walls up so high, emotionally unavailable” winchester needing someone? thats huge. to need means to give them control. to need means i cant do this without you. love comes easy to dean but to genuinely need something and be selfish enough to ask for it? that goes against everything he’s been conditioned into believing.
a very happy Destiel Decennial to the jilted lover what team is he playing for beef jerky and menthols episode! anyway Dean and Cas fucked in the first episode of the guy who made them canon 😌
i think it's important to remember today that i wrote an entire season 16 fix-it fic as a way of coping that i started writing on november 20th, 2020 and took me a full year and a half to finish